Grass Daddies Podcast - Episode 90: I'm in my prime.

Episode Date: April 25, 2026

In this episode of the Grass Daddies Podcast join us for our first four player presentation of quality podcast magic (I might be buzzed while writing this). Jake tells the boys about a 60 year old man who uses his still active eligibility to play college football. The boys drink some brews and talk about their favorite actors, what they would be like if they were rich, and much more (I can't remember). SHANKITGOLF.COM Code:grass Follow us on Social Media! Youtube: grassdaddiespodcast Instagram: @grassdaddiespodcast @kamdenwellmann @jakekillham Tik Tok: @grassdaddiespodcast @kandenwellmann (yes that's how it's spelled) @jakekillham11

I can get in science. So what? That was sick. I've never seen someone do a can flip. What? What just happened? You guys are wondering why we call him him? It's because he does shit like that.

Are we still recording? Yeah, we got that. All right. I need to replay that. Well, I'll just put it as. The hard crack follow through. Welcome to the two in the drink, one in the sink. Podcast.

flying off the brain. I'm Jake and I'm a grass daddy and I'm joined by fellow official full-fledged certified grass daddies. Ben and Nolan, aka Bowlin. And then this guy. And we also are being treated to, yes,

for those listening audio only going, wait, there's a fourth person. Oh, yeah. Mud on the ground daddy, Spencer is also joining us. So we've got Nolan and Ben.

Bowlin. We've got Ben and Spencer, Bencer. We've also got Jolan. Nensen? Nelser? Nope. Would we just be the Flint Tropics? Because of the I suppose. Oh, we're already just jumping back in time and just... Oh, we're already in the future, brother. We're already jumping back in time. Oh, we're going to the future. Shouting ourselves out for our beer Olympics accomplishments, I guess. Got a lot of medals. Allegedly there's a trophy. I haven't seen it. But we should get into that. bat beef. Where is?

Oh, yeah. He took that trophy and ran it off premises. I didn't see it when I was over at your house. Where did you put it? It's there. Where? He's got it in a scum closet. In table.

Wouldn't be blind. Yeah. No shit. Oh, yeah. I noticed it. Yeah, it's there. It's not in a prominent enough spot. Right next to the other trophy.

Has, I mean, has it been six months? Is it, is it Nolan's turn? I don't know. Has it been six months? It's probably been. ever be my third. I don't know. I don't remember when we did it.

We probably did it in like June or July maybe. Well, I mean, it doesn't really matter because no one's getting this one this year. Are you guys going to be teammates again? Are you going to switch it up? Yeah, we're going to run it back and win again. News to me. Back to back. We're going back to back.

He's holding on to the trophy. He makes all the shots. He's telling everyone the training regiment. We're going back to back. You're going to get a training regiment going? I'm already on. I don't know about no one. We're supposed to be in camp.

Yeah. I've been in training camp since we stopped. Next day I was already in facilities. OTAs were three weeks ago. Yeah. What are your drinking habits? I mean, if you don't feel comfortable sharing, but like we were just talking about it today,

how I've been trying to stay off of the like weekly, nightly drinking, but then I'll like party on the weekends. Is that kind of your mantra or like, what do you, what's your mode of operandi? Did I say that right? I don't look at me. Never heard of that. You're the smart one. Yeah, you're the grammar gay.

You're in the grammar gay. So you're in the player four chair and I feel like your job is like, I'm the brains. You're checking me. You're making sure I don't get too wild. Get a little too wild on the keyboard and the soundboard. Making sure I'm up to snuff over here. I don't know. do you like drink on the night or is it just whenever you just feel like having a beer you don't really have like a

I mean when the opportunity presents itself because it's like on a weekend if you had like a long day it's Wednesday long day of work are you going home and no a couple of brews bag no all right so you don't really drink during the week no never oh never okay no that would answer my question um what because you were saying how you quit for March. Yeah, I didn't drink all of March. Which I didn't realize.

And you've been kind of on a little hiatus. Yeah, I don't think I drink there on March either. I don't think I did either. Maybe one. I think it was because, like, for me, I was getting to the point where, like, I'd sit down at my Xbox and I'd have my mini fridge next to me. And I would have, like, two or three, maybe four.

Five. Maybe five. Five. No, but, like, at a certain point, it's like you start gaining a tolerance. Yeah. And it's like the two beer buzz kind of goes away and you need three. And then the three beer buzz doesn't really do anything.

You have four. Now pretty soon you're drinking four beers every night. It's like empty calories and also just that much alcohol regularly. How fast do you think you build your tolerance? I don't know. You got to be drinking, I think, kind of frequent, though. I don't know. I can build a tolerance quick.

Just drink it on the weekends. I think you have so much residual from college that it's just stuck. It's stuck around this long. It takes me like two. It's like dormant beneath the service. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like permafrost, but of like alcohol. Like if we did the beer Olympics and I drink the two weekends before that, I would have a tolerance just to be fine.

See, and I have a theory about, and we kind of talked about this once before, when you take a long time off. and you don't really have a tolerance, so to speak. It's kind of like a trade-off. It's like if you're drinking regularly, then the initial, when you start drinking, you don't really feel it. Yeah. But I feel like you kind of get drunker versus like, do you remember when we were talking about when you don't drink for a while

and then you have a couple beers and it hits you harder, but then you feel like your body burns it off quicker? I feel like we were talking about that one time. Like you come down from the drunk fast? either that or like you were like the first couple hit you hard and you're like I'm gonna get shit face but then you're able to do like

4, 5, 6 because your body like starts like oh we remember this and it starts kicking on and burning it off or it's because you're like your body's healthier and it can burn. That's what I mean. Burn it easier than if you're constantly having beers

and it's. If there's residual in there. Yeah. It's like if alcohol makes blood dirty and there's like residual dirt in there you don't feel the initial kick of it because it's already in there yeah yeah yeah but then if it's clean and you start drinking it's like whoa whoa what's this and then it's like and then it starts flushing it out with that being said let's start drinking um let's open up that beer fridge and see what we got in there i've delayed it long enough open it wide we've got a different camera angle for this four person setup you see you see are you are you getting all this this is a packed of many

What do we got in there? Just read it from off the top. Got some bottles. Bottles of what? Just go ahead and start. On a big wave. Oh. A big wave here.

That's your. Did it provide a... That's your thing. Oh, I just happened to have one over here. That's crazy. Get some... Natural light. Punta Kana.

Would you call me? We'll keep it right here. Anyone? Natural light. No, I'm passed on that. I think, isn't that your... Isn't that your thing? How do you do this with a bottle?

I need the... Whoa! Oh, I'm in the splash. What do we got? Oh, that's, that's for him. Oh, oh, oh, he's snagging and grabbing. Proud. Then we got a door shirt millie light.

The lattes. I mean, I'll take a Natty light or a latte. Oh, you'll take them all. Those are real, I mean, I will take them all. I don't really have a preference, but we've got, we got a, everyone's. Looks to be all of it. Everyone's bases are kind of covered. Also shout out, new fridge magnet.

We got the. WM Phoenix Open Added to the mini fridge We gotta have this thing looking like one of those suitcases That Hark crack She blew up She blew up

Dude the back of your laptop is I don't know if you Hufford and beer Listen that one was bad She blew up She wasn't ready for the hard crack Listen Soft crack

Um I don't know if you've ever heard my keyboard typing, but it sounds like there's sand under it. And that's because I once upon a time got drunk. Well, let me tell you the story. Story time. Do you remember when Post Malone first came out with the Bud Light Seltzer commercial where he walks up to the fridge and he goes,

Budlight made a seltzer? Yeah, I remember. for whatever reason I thought that was hilarious especially when you've had a few it seems really hilarious and I was like I wanted to make that for whatever reason I wanted to make that a text tone so when I got a text it would be post-bel

it's like I made a son sir so I had my friend come over to make it and he was like trying to do it on my laptop and Cole had a like full it was like a Pepsi and captain or something. I don't know. It was like a rum in Pepsi or something

and I like reach for something and completely knocked the full glass over directly onto my keyboard. Oh man. Nice. And Corbett, it was Corbyn that was doing it for me. He just like quickly,

you probably haven't met him. I don't even know if you've met him. No, I don't know if any of you've met him. Anyways, he's made a backyard appearance once or twice, but he just like immediately turned my laptop off and like flipped it upside down.

And he was like, because he's an IT guy and I was like, what do we do? And he's like, wait and see if it survives. Oh, man. And it's been working ever since, but the keyboard is crunchy. Yeah, you got a little mechanical keyboard action. Yeah, yeah. A little crusty dusty.

Bleach switches on there. Ooh. I got this like my senior year of high school. So it's, you got to get those like that thing is a dinosaur. This is like a 2015 laptop, I'm pretty sure. I think it's a dinosaur. I think's holding strong. It's crazy.

Are you 10 years out now? I was just thinking about that today. I was like, I wonder if our ultimatum or whatever the, what's the top person called? The melancholy? No. The Ballet Victorian? Yeah. Melancholy.

It's going to set up because I feel like that's the person that's got to set it up. What are we talking about? A 10 year anniversary, sorry. At a high school. Your Vala Victorian normally sets it. Do you do 10? I thought it was more like 25. I don't know.

It's 10. They try to do 5. Why would it be 10? I don't live there yet. Come on. I don't live there. Why would it be 10? I feel like 5.

We're still hanging out, guys. You still got people that are in school 10 years after high school. I don't know. Typically, I'm not going to be the one to plan it. Around here, normally it's 10. What? What? I drank a Miller light.

What? How was your first one back in the high? It was pretty, it was a Guinness. So was mine. It hit right. Not a big Guinness guy. I was telling Jake, Guinness might be the new best beer out there, but he wouldn't let me. No, no, no, no, no.

You wouldn't let me have that. New. It's because. I don't even know if I call it a Guinness a beer. No, but it's new to me. Yeah. I was asking you completely unrelated to the podcast what your favorite beer was. Yeah.

And I was like, do you think it's probably Miller Light? And you're like, yeah, that are Guinness? And I was like, you've only recently. been drinking guinnesses. Have you ever seen him drinking Guinness? No. That's a lie. That's what I...

You were at bowling when I drank two of them. Oh, yeah. You got to go to. I lied. That was the first... Okay, that was the first time I've ever seen him drink a ginnis. It's a new found love, but it's my soulmate. Is Ginnis even really a beer?

Yes. Or a heavy logger. What's a logger? Like an IPA, almost. What's an IPA then? It's not a beer. What? No way.

You don't think IPA's beer? No. There's no shot. Do you know what IPA stands for? No, but it's not a beer. I'll tell you the A. Ale. Pale ale.

Yeah. It's like in, it's like in. No. There's no shot. What's the eye? Indiana. Indiana. Indiana.

No, it's Indian. Isn't it? India? India? It's Indiana. Is it? That's what I thought it was. But I thought it was stupid.

But cash and rocks. So, Guy, one of our bosses at work says he's only drinks IPAs and like liquor. And he says IPA is not a beer. He's so wears by it.

It's India. Is it? India. India pale ale. There might be like pale ale. There might be like pale ale. No, that's why it tastes so bad. There might be like,

They're all from Colorado, I thought, though. Yeah, well, they're out of some dude's garage, but I think it's like, it originate. They're disgusting anyway. Either way. Yeah, you pull that up, James. So, I mean, they are a beer, but you're just saying purely from how different they taste from just like a normal domestic beer. It's hard to call that a beer when it tastes like blended of cactus. It is.

It's an India pale ale because it was brewed in England and exported to British colonies in India. India pale ale. Makes sense. But I'm sure there's probably some companies in Indiana that are just like, let's just slide and N.A. I mean, that's the perfect. Whoever probably had that light bulb and was like, do we're going to be. Well, and what if they made an N-A-I-P-A? That'd probably be really stupid, though, because people that are, well, I don't know.

parentheses, N-A. Right. From Indiana. Did I tell you my million-dollar idea? Hit me. It's a good one. So you got a cooler, okay? Just your everyday cooler.

but you can also have it as a seat and you can flip up a backrest on it so then you have a chair on a cooler so like padded top you could the lid could be padded extra insulation and you can in like this would fold down on the base of the cooler so it's also portable

you know you got your handle still let's drops you're giving that a million dollar idea right now you need some form of compartment to get into to the cooler to where you don't have to get up from your seat. Ooh. Now we're thinking. Like three on top, like three latches. Like sometimes. Yeah.

Or just like a side door and a top opening. That's the biggest problem with cooler seats. You always get asked to get up. You could do. Not that I'm trying to shit on your idea. What do you do about not letting ice spill out though? Well, not like a sideways door. I'm thinking like maybe two sides to sit in the two.

Oh, sure. Like a tackle box. I feel like those would break off easy. I don't know. Draw up some plans. We'll drop some plans. We'll talk to our copyright guy and we'll get that locked down. So no one can take that.

I don't think it's a real thing. I don't think anyone's ever. Well, because people just sit right on top of coolers anyway. But you're talking about making it like. Yeah. So you can. If you're going to do it, let's do it right. Yeah.

Yeah. what you're saying. What if it's like a beach chair, but on the bottom's a fridge? A refrigerator? Or like a cooler? That has to be plugged in? I think they make those,

really? It's just like, it's a little flap underneath the chair. And you just unzip it. It's like a pullout drawer. And then you can just. Filing cabinet. Yeah,

yeah, yeah. Yeah. Like a vending machine. Like a vending machine. A cooler with a generator. And it's a filing. just refrigerates itself. No ice.

Are we just describing a house? Yeah, pretty much. A house on a go. A place to sit down with power and coal. What if it had a shower? Yeah. What if our cooler had a shower? Yeah.

And a TV that came up and you can sleep in it. Projectile TV. Shitter. Needs a shitter. Right. Yeah, obviously. Flush it. There's like three different compartments.

You got your brown water, your gray water, your cold water. Yeah. Don't mix those. You're live well for your food. fish. Yeah. Yeah. I suppose they could

probably swim around in the gray water. You know how nice that would be? You had to dig your hand in the gray water. The gray water

is just pee and like washing your hands. Well, the brown water. Sounds like something I want to just put my hand in. You know how nice

that would be though? You just wouldn't have to carry a chair in like your tackle box, your fishing pool and your cooler. You could just carry your cooler fishing pool

attachment. Yeah. What are we calling this thing? I don't know. Haven't got that far. The chiller. Pandora's box.

A little bit of everything. Call it the, I'd be down for that. That'd be. Did you bring the, I'd be down for that? Oh, fuck, I forgot it in home. Or it could just finally be the I'm down. I'm down's good. Well.

Hey, you guys brought the downs? I got downs Yeah, you get drunk enough, too It's like Shit he might be actually Well, he might be Okay, so if we're sensing a lull on the action here Which I feel like we're heading to

I got a story for you guys That one's empty for you first Oh god Hold on So Okay And I'm gonna need to wait what He has a question

Oh for me? Yeah Hit me I forgot While I'm looking it up Yeah I forgot No you didn't I was gonna ask

You went to Putecana? I did not. I can't remember who did. I went to Puta Kama. I also went to Puntikana. You did? Yeah, on our cruise. Okay, brief story about it while I looked this up.

Go. I almost got kidnapped. Okay. Yeah. I didn't. Yeah. We were looking for sunglasses. There was just a cinder block building with Walmart painted on the side of it.

So we went in there and I got like, they tried to split me and me and my dad up. And they were like, you should come back here and look at the sunglasses. My dad was like, no. they were all just like hanging out not doing that. Like on the outside of it it was I also found a steak knife

on the beach huh it's a fun place yeah it sounds good it was a good time it was yeah would go back

it was a good time where is Poonicana Dominican Republic yeah is that where you got arrested yeah in Pinta Conta

yeah nice fun time just black that like so I forget, did you just wake up? Who were you with again? A bunch of my buddies.

And they were just like, dude, yeah, you almost got arrested last night, and that was that? No. They were knocking on the door, and then the one guy was sleeping and woke up. And they go, you know this guy? Yeah. And he just threw me in the room and laughed. You guys want to hear something crazy? Yeah, yeah.

I'm down. So I was. I was driving to Reams today. And on the radio, I heard a little story that literally made my jaw drop. Okay. So we live in a day and age in collegiate football where coming off of like COVID year, red shirt, gray shirt, whatever. Medical.

These guys are in there. They're like, how many years has this guy been here? Yep. Is this guy like an eighth year senior? What is he pushing like 25? Isn't just a lawsuit with that? Yeah. With the Chamberliss or order?

Yeah. Well, I just heard something interesting today that a man by the name of Tom Green is walking on at a small college at the age of 60. Good for him. You technically can do it if you don't use your eligibility. This guy is 60 years old. Jesus.

He apparently played for football. He apparently played semi-pro football and owns like a wood like pallet furnishing company or something like that. Right. But is technically eligible.

Mm-hmm. He had stage four kidney cancer and beat it. No shit. That's not something you beat. So let me tell you a little bit about this guy. Get that guy in the trenches. What position?

He is. I know he is. Not only is green a cancer survivor who's going to college for the first time, but he's also playing college football with men less than half his age. At an early morning spring practice at the McDaniel College football field, the Division III Green Terror worked on conditioning and light contact drills. For number 72, this freshman political science major matched teammates move for move, tackle for tackle, despite being three times their age.

Last year, I came out, and I got a lot. on the roster, Green told, whatever. That was a sick quote, by the way. Yeah. Yeah, I'm on. I'm on the team. Green plays on the defensive line after having joined the team as a walk-on.

The only requirement is that he's a full-time student who can play regardless of age. And if the student-athletes is commuted to participating every day, then he can be a member of the team. Someone of that age who wants to get up on a cold morning like today and come out to practice, it shows a lot. Obviously, he's behind

a little bit because he hasn't played football in so, long having to go through that that's the biggest difference um so their head football coach green owns a wooden pallet company in littlestown pennsylvania where he where he never went to college he did play some semi pro football and was diagnosed with stage four kidney cancer i was totally sick heading out i was checking out in 2017 he beat cancer and he's out to be to different record to be the oldest player to play college football in America. I knew that the number 61 was the oldest player who ever played and he's going to be 61 in June so he's going to be tying that record.

But he, this is a quote from him, the old record holder just kicked extra points. So he's basically being like, yeah, but he was a bitch. He was a kicker. I'm going to be in the defensive line. Dude, that's, I mean, that is inspiring. but there was you know there's like a bunch of kids who got cut from that team that was like are you are you telling me you're fucking me right this guy this guy when I was up Peru there was an old dude he was like 45 and he was on

the team really yeah his name was Brian sounds about right you had a gray hair how bad of a team are you that a 61 year old shows up and you're like we need that guy we need him past rushing. I just want to know what his dad strength is like. That's what the other thing to you know it's got to be next level.

He was keeping up despite his age. I think he was keeping up because of his age. He's 60. He's 61. He's 60 going to be 61 in June. I mean, so he's too young to have fought in any wars, right? He might have like just missed.

Well, he could have been in like Afghanistan. Yeah. I, right? I am. Either rock. Could have been. I was thinking like a major, major wars, though, like back in the day. Yeah.

The part that dropped my draw was the fact that he beat stage four. Yeah, that was. That's, that's not. And I was like, I'm going to play ball. Yeah, fuck it. I'm from, I'm from Pennsylvania, but I talk like I'm from Brooklyn. I don't know. I think he's an edge of.

I don't know what the NTA rule is. If you played, so say you played baseball for four years. Yeah, I don't know. play a difference, if you could go back and play a different sport. No, he could have fought in Vietnam. He could have? Yeah. Oh, ho.

If you're 60 right now, he's born in 66, right? Or 65, because it'll be 61 this year. Yeah. And that's that the Vietnam War ended in 75. Oh, no. Yeah, he could have been really little. No, he's missed it. Dodgers.

Send Jr. in there to look for landmines. I don't know. They're also from Brooklyn. Everybody. All the sergeants. Yeah, everybody in Vietnam is from Brooklyn. Right. It's just the fun easiest.

Yeah, it's pretty, whoa. Whoa. Where are we going? I'm Muffy-Shaw. We're going across the sea. Going across the pond there. The bugs are terrible. Oh, are we already getting there?

Oh, God, the malaria. I forgot my medication. Did we bring any mosquito nets? It's gonna be us soon. I've been wheeze in all of them. You, you. Me and Jake are out of it. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, weren't they like... Guess some unkjones were so funny, huh? I think they were... I'm out of it. I'm out of it. I'm fun. They like move the age up of people. No, they didn't.

No, they did. It's still 25. For what? The draft? Yeah. Oh, I thought it was 26. No, it's 25. Because I'm out of it.

All right, let's get... I mean, I'm gonna fucking shit. All right, let's pretend. No, no, no. Let's pretend you got a lot. you guys got drafted. Let's pretend you guys got drafted, but they're like, you guys can do whatever you want. You can pick a division or you can pick like a thing you want to do.

Oh, I know. Drone operator? Drunk, drone operator. No, no, no, just drone operator. Did you say drunk? No. I'm pretty sure you're drunk. Did you say?

I heard the drunk. I heard three. I heard three. I might have stuttered, but I said drone operator. I thought he said drunk drone operator. I cold started. Oh. I mean.

Ding ding. rest in peace you can throw the drunk in there I mean yeah I'll drink and they're like driving Jonah

blow people so you want to be up above dropping being drunk probably changes the outlook of drone operating you know you're sober you're like man

that sucks you're drunk you're like dude did you see I got four of them you don't see that leg

oh you um so if people are just like how does it feel about like taking human life you're like if you get drunk enough you can just pretend

like video game sleep like a baby every night. Those dudes are fucking using Xbox controllers flying around. Yeah, it is true. Drones with, you know. What would you do if you could pick?

Let's also pretend in the scenario that you're like, have the skill to do it, like what you want. Oh, don't you need, I don't know how to fly it. No, no, no. I'm saying you have. Oh, okay. Yeah.

So I'm saying. If you were equipped with all the skills. So I'm saying you could say, I want to fly a jet. that was where I was going to go. Fuck yeah. You're planning. That'd be sick as hell. I have a college degree.

It makes you eligible. Really? Yeah. Yeah, but it's really extensive training. A lot of people... Yeah, you gotta have 20-20. You got to have 2020. And it's extensive training.

A lot of the guys don't even get selected. You get out of the war, dude? I mean, you get it. No, then you get shot down. Oh, yeah. That's an angle I didn't think of. High altitude drone. That's an angle I didn't think of. Whatever feels.

requires the most training before you get sent out, pick that. So then there's a high likelihood that it'll be done. Yeah. Because I know a dude that went in the Air Force to be a pilot. Mm-hmm. And it took 10 years just to get his pilot. Before they let him out of the simulator. Basically.

I bet. I think realistically, if the draft happens, that's when I just do hard drugs. Like, I'll just get like a Coke charge on my record. I'll show up fintfolding at the enlistment. office. Ooh, that's a move. Yeah. Because then I get the experience of doing one of those things,

and I don't have to go to war. Yeah. Bold strategy. Well, I think drone operated because you're just sitting in the barracks and just Yeah. You could be sitting here. Yeah. I don't even need to go over there.

Yeah. Can I work from home? In all technicality, you could be here. I'd be sick. Bro's working from home in World War. Yeah. In his. Yeah, I'm saying you pick whatever you want.

want. Oh, put me in the National Guard, dude. Just hang out in the Caribbean. Okay. Well, the National Guard is the first to go. The Coast Guard. No. The Marines and the Army? Well, before the draft, the National Guard's already over there. Before a draft. That's true. They send the reserves. My buddy was in Kuwait for a while. That was before all this thing. Or he'd probably definitely be in that shit. I'm sure you wouldn't want to be like a seal? Talk about training, dude. week? You read about Hell Week?

God. Oh, I've seen, I've seen shit about Hell Week. Buds? Dude, I can't be a drone operator, I'd just be a sniper. That'd be sad. That'd be sad ass, dude. Oh, holy shit. Oh, he's on it. I told you, dude. Just on some Chris Kyle shit. Dude, I would be phase. I'd put phase on my jacket.

Oh! Oh! Where I like the codskin? Do you think we're at the I could never be, like, shine down as I'm shooting to. I could never do the math to be a sniper. The math that goes in. a spotter. He just tells you what to do. Yeah, but yeah, he just tells you to like make this adjustment, make this adjustment.

Four clicks left. And squeeze. What's up? Take me to Punt de Kana. Oh, okay. Oh, okay. So let's go. But the math that goes into it is insane. Yeah. Because on some far shots, you got to get the rotation

of the earth. Point and shoot. The Coriolis effect. The spotter does. Well, yeah. I just got to pull the trigger. Yeah. You get to be good enough. You miss and you look back your spotter like, Dude, what the fuck?

I missed. Like, throw my hands up. Fucking hit markers, dude. You throw your stuff. You gotta buff the M70, dude. What's going on? Do you think we're at the point now where guys are, that are snipers now watch like phase ill cams and they're just like putting like a,

oh yeah, a cod emblem on their sniper? Watching game tape, dude, that'd be in my barracks in the desert. No one of missions coming. You know what I mean? Watching like Adap's ill cams just. It's like, watch it like, like football. highlights before like your high school football game.

Oh yeah, dude. But you're watching a phase five. You're watching a phase five is like fucking 15. You're watching a scump 88 and O. Sweatman and a spray. Spotter's telling you to like back up from your scopes.

You don't get scope, Glint. It's like they're going to see you, dude. Yeah. What attachments you're running? I got the meta bill, dude. Got quick mags. You walk in the first day. You walk up to like the.

sergeant or I don't know who's the captain maybe and just be like general well I don't think the general would be like in the barracks something what's the highest rank that would be like readily available to you probably captain yeah cat cat and you're just like what's the meta and he's like huh huh he's like you'll be equipped with a blah blah blah blah with a blah blah blah i think if you asked him what the meta is he's like all right you're going home yeah i mean realistically like what do they do if you show up and you're like i'm going to be a round a bunch of Jews and like give me a gun dude I can't wait like they're just gonna so now you're doing like what what is what would you say to get you out of the war yeah I don't think anything

it's kind of like it's kind of like a jury duty to get out to get out of jury duty you can say like I hold prejudice against people of this color or I don't agree with cops and that basically they from what I understand you don't get out of jury duty entirely they just put you on a different case that doesn't involve. Yeah. Like, just like, I want to kill you

and you point at the lawyer and then, it's just everything. But, yeah, I mean, so then, like,

they don't send you to the Middle East. They're like, yeah, you can just go to federal prison until the end of the war. And you don't really want to be there either. I think prison sounds pretty good.

Yeah, compared to just, you'd probably get a lot of, like, street credit for that, too, You know, like, I threatened to kill all my allies if I went to the war. So I didn't have to go.

Shit, man, that's hardcore. Why are you assuming that the people in prison sound like that? What? That's just a white dude from Mississippi. You ever heard Will Compton talk, like, back in college? Yeah. That's how he talked. Yeah.

Is he from Mississippi? Yeah. He is? Yeah. Just a white boy from Mississippi. She. Shit. I didn't know that.

Did you be trimmed? His teeth were. so jacked up in college dude. Bad. Like tic tics. Like just coming out of his gun. Did you see, did you see the clip where he was, I don't remember whose podcast he was on, but he was talking about Carl Polini.

Did you talk, did you see that clip? He was basically like, I think they were just asking him, what's the worst ass chewing you ever got or something like that. And it was like, Carl Polini was like, just absolutely motherfucking him. like yelling in his face. He's like Chaw spit. Like he had a big chew and was like flying all in his face and his mouth. Did you see

the post when Bo Pellini made all the players get rid of Twitter? No. When was this? Because of Lambert Because it was back when Lamborghini Mercy was big and one of the players tweeted out the song lyrics

walked in and he's like reciting the line He goes, what the fuck is this? And the player goes, and the one dude like Santa, Coach, it's just a song. He goes, no, fuck this. All of you guys are getting rid of Twitter. You're off the team.

So, because he's posted like some derogatory or whatever it was saying in the... You get look at it. It's funny. He basically was like reading off the guy's tweet. Yeah. There's nothing worse than... It's like the song lyrics.

and he's just reading the song lyrics. Is there anything worse than a middle-aged white man speaking, like not rapping? Oh, yeah. Words like that. And then you're the person that wrote those on your Twitter, so you have to be like, I thought it was cool and I did it. I don't know what I was doing.

In front of the entire team, too. Yeah, you probably go home and you're like, why did I think I should just tweet the lyrics of this song out? Why did I think I was being so artistic doing that? Yeah, I don't know. I could have just shut my mouth. That is most of Twitter, though. It's a little full, but it's...

It's all bullshit on the internet. It's just... It's just... It's just... People like... Yeah, it's... Porn, gorn, morons, dude. Two drink.

Two slip. Call it one and a half. It's weird. See, yeah, it's... Yeah, what even is that shit? It's hard to see a porn clip after, like, watching, like, a fucking cartel band in him. It's like, this isn't that hot. Like, my dick is.

can only go up and down so fast. It's like I need a couple, like, I still got that dude's head on my mind. I got tits in my face. Were you there during the winter when we would do that? Like pedophilia is a sexual orientation. Yeah. What?

Oh, you haven't seen that? No. Yeah, it's a chick trying to defend it. Well, it's not like anybody specific. There's sectors of that community that think, very small percentage that think pedophilia should be. in it like the LGBT

cube there's some there was there was a piece somewhere in there there was an argument that they should allow AI to make fake underage porn

oh my god pedophiles would be like satiated and like wouldn't oh my god yeah like it was it was bad like basically like let's give those freaks a punching bag so they get it out of their system and then don't do it to real people.

And then they don't realize that that just makes them more excited. Oh, my God. It was bad. I'm trying to think of a comparison to that, but that's like... There is a... You don't need one. No. It's like, let's create a game preserve for serial killers with fake people that they can go...

Stabbed, I don't know. That's wild. All the people that are... Well, I mean, stuff like that kind of like... like rage rooms that's kind of close kind of close I guess a human school wasn't that like how a lot of serial killers start was just killing animals yeah yeah small animals yeah that's how Domner started it's just all about game was dissecting like if you like start giving a crackhead drugs and they're like well it's going to keep them off a crack because they have this it's like no it's not it's going to make them want the real thing unless you give him a hero dose of It's crazy how much better that beer sounds with the echo on it.

Like it adds plus 15. It makes it. Plus 15 flavor. Like how we're not sponsored by now. Beets me. Maybe the fact that we have four different. Well, I suppose, hey, we're not picking. We're not picking.

That's not Anheiser. Is Miller Light Anheiser? Is Natty Light Anheiser? Yeah. Aunt Natalie did. We don't get to pick what's in the mini fridge. No, I know, but I'm just saying mini fridge could help us out with a...

No, there's no way. With a brand deal if it kept it consistent. They always have it. Realistically, it can't be that hard to get like a Windsor sponsor, right? A Windsor sponsor? A Windsor sponsor? Should be... Here's the thing.

If we have Zane Zerberg back, I bet you we could get one. Does he like Windsor? I thought he was Pendleton. He's a Pendleton guy. But he also liked Windor. The Windsor guy is next to you. Yeah, I know that guy liked Windsor.

He's dabbled. I had a love affair with Windsor at one point in my life. You dabbled. When Apple hit the scene, I thought. It changed my life. You had a mini friend who provided a handle. You had an affair with Apple. I had a moment.

It was a moment of weakness. It was. I'm a man. You dabbled. You dabbled. I dabbled hard. I don't. I regret what I did that night.

Yeah. But. I tiger woods. Did you guys see that clip of the car driving? Wait, wait, which one? It's like a, it's an AI video. Of the car driving on the Masters? Yeah, and then it rolls over.

And then someone just goes, he's here. In the background. Anyways, I thought it was pretty funny. I guess it was not funny. Dude. Him hitting whatever the fuck this was. I saw some pretty crazy. I was died.

Oh, fucking Tiger Woods. we were talking about that today at work like what are you yeah what are you doing you can afford a driver like why do you not have someone just driving you around

you start getting the beers and you and the keys start jingling yeah I mean but why put yourself in that situation when you can afford you can literally afford somebody to just drive you or ever like that.

He doesn't even need to drive on a day-to-day basis. But then what? You just have someone sitting in a car constantly ready for you? Like the amount of times that I would like randomly feel like I need to drive somewhere, like either the guy is somewhere else and I'd have to call him to me or what? He's just sitting in my driveway all day waiting for me. I pay me a good salary. I'll sit in a car for you.

Yeah. Come on. I guess. By making six figs to sit in a car, I'll sit wherever you need me to. sucks or not sex but like he's probably made that exact drive that high a few times

all right let's roll play a scenario let's roll play a scenario do you think he was on more than just how ago no he wasn't on it he he blew a zero he was all fucked up on like pain killers all right let's roll play a scenario you be tiger and I'll be your driver

okay sitting at the wheel what are Spencer and I you guys can be Spencer's the window that goes up and down between the driver and the back. You're going to play the role of the separator. I'll be the car. You're going to play the role of the separator. You can be the car.

And then if we run into random people, you guys can like role play as them. All right. So I'm sitting in the car waiting. Holy shit that chick's hot. Hey, yo. Oh shit. Oh, hello, Mr. Woods. Are we going somewhere today?

I got to hit the driving range. Okay, go ahead and hop in. Let me unlock it for you. Sorry. I just, what are I paying you for? I know, I'm sorry.

It's just, it's still, I'm always, I've been a big fan, but I just, I love this opportunity. Okay, go ahead,

it's unlocked. All right, seat belts on. All right, let's go to, whoa, I've been hitting the bottle a little hard, sir.

I can, I can smell that all the way up here. What? Oh, oh, oh, you're closing the window. Oh, I just wanted to,

okay, I guess I'll go to the driving range. I don't know how you make a, car started Oh, I guess we're taking the Mustang. It's like a lifted F-150. It's a cold starting. All right.

All right. It's a monster trick. Sir, do you want to, can you roll the window down? I got it. Sir, I noticed, I smelled a certain amount of, maybe alcohol. Do you want to get maybe some food before we go to the driving range? I know you like to get a little protein. You want to stop at like in and out or something?

Fuck you. All right. Sorry. Give me my pill bottle, bitch. Okay. Do we need to, uh, do we need to run? Where's the hookers and blow at? Do we need to run to Walgreens again?

I mean, we already went this morning, but I think you might, uh, we could, we could stop by again if we need to get your other prescription. I got, I just got texted by our agent and said it's ready. Yeah, we need to pick up those haunted, uh, oxycons. I'm running low. All right. Sounds good. In the meantime, I got those other hydros for you if you need them. Here.

Those ain't cutting it, dog. Okay. All right, we'll swing by Walgreens on the way to the range. All right. We're out, now we're at Walgreens. Pulling up. Sorry. Sorry, I know you're in a hurry.

I was trying to get there fast. Are you fucked up or am I fun? I'm sorry. Sorry, I just know I'm going to. Who's fucked up? I was just in a hurry. I know you're trying to get there quick. Okay.

You're the, you're the, You're the Walgreens worker. Oh, good. Where's this guy? All right, you're getting your pills. Where the fuck are my pills, man? Sorry, sir. We're still packing them, you know, big order.

I'm tired of fucking wood, y'all. I know who you are. You have that shit ready for me. Well, we're running low on supply. Sir, they're doing their best. Let me handle this. Just you roll back. Let me put on SpongeBob on the TV,

and we'll be going as soon as possible. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. He woke up. He was on a bit of a bender last night. He, uh, had some friends over. He just really needs it. He's quick.

We got to get to the driving range. Yeah, you're all good. We're just, you know, small bottles trying to fill. Yeah, I know. I know. 500 pills on the ghosts so far. Yeah. Yeah.

It's hard. All right. All right. I'll get the shit by the gallon. Thank you so much. Well, have a good day. Yep. Tiger.

Guess what I got for you, buddy. Dude, to think of him like a cat. Like, he's an actual. again. He's like hiding. Yeah, he's like under the couch or something. And you just got to shake the pill bottle and get him out. All right, let's get going.

He pulls out in the full blue suit. Okay, sir, here are your three or four? Three. Give it a bottle. Oh, six. If I was Tiger Woods, I'd hit one of these where, like, you have three in your hand. And then I take the bottle. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Or you can take the bottle. I guess I'll take these three. Yeah, now we're going. I'm not working for this lunatic without a buzz. You're both in the backseat while the car's going. Tiger's like,

Who's fucking driving this thing? I'm like, oh shit, hold on. Some anchor man. I put it in ghost mode. Those are both hallucinating the same camera. This guy fucking shot. Is that Phil?

We get to the driving range. We get to the driving range and scene. Now that's improv. I feel like that was pretty accurate to how it would go. Yeah, probably. Yeah, I don't know. If he had a driver. But we forget, none of that happened because he didn't have a driver.

But it could have saved him a lot of trouble if he did. Yeah. Or not. I mean, if it ends up with the driver on pills in the backseat. I guess if that's what it comes down to. Yeah. I think he's in the same situation. Yeah, probably.

There's a dog in the driver. We ran our simulations and we found that a driver doesn't help at all. It actually makes it worse. Doctor Strange. How many, how many possibilities are there? What was it? 14 million.

Was it million or billion? I thought a billion. I don't know. And that is like, how many times the Tiger wins the Masters in 2026? Did you see that they're moving? That took him sacrificing. his driver.

Did you see that they're moving the Doomsday movie up? Doomsday. Yeah, the new Avengers movie. I stopped watching after Endgame. In my mind, that's where the book closed. Yeah, everybody fucking died. How are you supposed to bring them all back or whatever? I never saw them. No, no, no, they all came back.

What? Spoiler. Have you seen that? 50%. Iron Man? Not all of them. Iron Man. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I know who didn't. Yeah. Where are you at?

Robert Donnie Jr. plays the villain in the new ones. Right. Which is kind of weird. Which is Marvel. Yeah. So he's just the same actor, but not the same character. He's playing, what is it? Doom's Day?

Yeah. Dr. Doom. I don't know. One of them is DC, I think. Hold on, hold on. Let me get his real name. Victor von Doom. I don't know.

That's at least how he is in Fantastic Four. You're like, until I know what it is. Anyways, they're moving it up. because they need more screenplay for that Dune 3. I don't know if you've ever seen Dune. Oh, like they need more theater time for it? Yeah. Have you ever seen Dune?

Does anybody go to the movies anymore? Yeah, I do. I do? Yeah. Last time you've been to, what movie did you see? Something with Tom Holland in it? Probably. For Courtney.

That's a niche inside joke that really only Spencer and I get. Yeah. And we'll breeze right over that. Go ahead. I don't remember. We went. Oh. It wasn't that long ago.

I just don't remember the movie we even watched. That's movie I saw in theaters with sinners. How many times do you watch that? Four or five now? Did you watch it on the plane on the way back? Were you able to get it down with it? I don't. I don't remember what I watched on the plane back, to be honest with you.

But you got one. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I've seen it a few times now. There you are. It doesn't get old. It's such a good movie. It doesn't get old.

We went and saw that Jurassic Park movie. Remember? Yeah. That was kind of weird. Have you seen something since then? Yeah. I don't remember what we went and watched. Well, what was funny was...

That movie was... Go ahead. A little weird. It wasn't the best. Now. Especially compared to the OG Jurassic Park movies that are so good. They definitely were better.

Those are pretty good. Yeah. The first one. They hold up. I've only seen the first one. What was that? Like 95 or 97? What's his name?

Kevin? Yeah. Costner? No. No. Kevin Costner? Yeah. Isn't he in that?

No. I'm sure Tom Holland is. The fucking movie was I watched. I think he was playing a dinosaur in mocap. Yep. Motion capture dinosaur. Mm-hmm. Baby dinosaur.

Yep. Tom Holland probably wasn't even born then. Yeah, he was. He's Spider-Man, right? Yeah. Spider-Man. You're about to see Spider-Man, because the new Spider-Man movie's coming out. Spider-Monkey.

If any of you, you know, Spider-Man, new Spider-Man's coming out. I'd be down. I'll get to watch it with you. Oh, I'm going to watch it. About three times in theaters. Well, Courtney has to, because it has Tom Holland in it. Well, yeah, I'm going to watch about three times in theaters, about 17 outside of the theater. You love Spider-Man?

No, I like Tom Holland. Oh, you? You actually like Tom Holland? Yeah. I thought, is that why you make the joke? Yeah. Oh. Have you seen Uncharted?

Yeah. That Uncharted movie was, like six times. With Mark Wahlberg. Yeah. Oh, you're on. So you love Tom Holland. That's why you see in. Oh.

Tell me you haven't seen. Is that your first time checking it the whole time? No. Oh. That's probably my third. You know what? When does that Spider-Man come out? In November.

You know what the next time? Tom Holland movie coming out is. Not Tom Holland movie, but movie he's in. What is it? I saw it on a preview. The Odyssey with Christopher Nolan is directing it. I'm going to have to watch it. Brad Pitt has Ann Hathaway.

It has Christopher Nolan. Is it taking place in ancient Greece? Yeah. No. We're going to that. It's the Odyssey, dude. We're going to that. Do you know the Odyssey story?

Well, yeah, I'm playing Assassin's Creed Odyssey. Quick plug there. I don't know. No one's like. I'm trying to think if that is based on the Odyssey No, no, no, it's No, but it associates with like that realm of like Yeah, it's ancient Greece.

Yeah, it was Homer. It's Shakespeare. No, here we go. You're a little off. Like 2,000 years off. You'll get back. You're coming back. Have you seen, did you see the devil all the time?

No. That has Tom Holland in it? That is a fucked up movie. I better watch it now. I wouldn't. Well, Tom Holland didn't. Got it. What's your obsession with Tom Holland?

I don't know. He's the greatest actor of all the time. Who would you say your favorite factor is? Oh. Oh, brother. Not exactly good. You're not really a movie guy, are you? No.

You're kind of like a bell of danger. What? I usually skip past both those, actually. Riley Reed is gross. You don't like her? No, she's disgusting. She had like a rap song, though. Does she?

When people say Riley Reid, I'm like, now she's almost too, like, that's almost like a basic answer. It's like me of Khalifa. Kind of. Or Malkova. That's a lot of me as long. Those are the only two, I really know. You guys remember when we did the alphabet? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Sorry, I went there. Okay, who's your favorite actor, though? What were you about to say? No, it was the podcast where it was just me and Spencer. and Nolan and we were doing porn star names or whatever. Oh yeah, without me. And I said something with like gold. And then you're like, I'll be Johnny Silver.

Johnny Gold. Yeah. You're like, someone was like Johnny Gold and someone was like, I'll be. Well, I think we just started using metal. Adams. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll be Adam Silver. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'll be Jeff Bronze. I'll be atomic alloy. Atomic owl. CS reference. Uh, favorite actor, though. Yeah, favorite actor. I got it. I was there with you.

Where we at? Um, could be actress, too. It doesn't have to be actors. It could give me a top five, too. You could be like, it's not necessarily- Danny McBride. Okay. He's one of the funniest guys on screen.

Um, give me Charlie Day. Okay. We still never watched Horrible Bossels. He said we were gonna. I've seen that before times. Isn't there only one of us that hasn't seen it? Yeah, okay.

What? Yeah. Charlie Day is your favorite actor and you haven't seen horrible bosses. I've seen, it's always sunny. I guess. He's there. He's there. That's about it.

No one way you get, huh? I don't know. I was talking my mom about this the other day. I like, I don't know if there's any actors I don't like, but I will say that I have, I haven't seen a movie with Matt Damon in it that I don't like. Great actor. That's actually fair. Yeah, Matt Damon.

Great actor. I went through a big stretch of Matt Damon movies. Rounders. Rounder. I mean, Goodwell Hunting is my favorite movie ever. Amazing movie. The other one. I remember I was in, like, my senior year of football on one of my assistant coaches.

You know, like that assistant coach that's like younger and a little more relatable. Yeah, he's four years out of college. You almost are like friends with him when you're like at practice. We were talking about movies all the time. And I was like, yeah, I love movies. Then he's like, have you seen Goodwill hunting? And I was like, uh-uh. And he's like, you say you've seen.

He's like, you say you love movies, but you haven't seen any. That's fair. And I think that night I watched Goodwill Hunting or one quickly after. And I was like, oh my God. It's a great movie. This is an amazing movie. I do like R.D.J. Like Apples?

Like Jake Dillon Hall. How do you guys feel about Tom Cruise? I think the stunts are cool We just went through all the Mission Impossible For our Tuesday movie night The Scientology part is a little You gotta separate the art from the artist Yeah

Well I'm not a Tom Cruise fan Don't like him No I don't think I am either I just be honest I don't like him I don't know why

I'm more respect that he's like flying a F-15 or whatever I don't want to say I don't like him but I don't enjoy his movies. Yeah. I don't necessarily think that makes him a bad actor. I just don't. I just don't get the hype.

I mean, there's some guy, maybe you could consider him overrated since a lot of people. Innocent. I mean, I like Tom Cruise, but I can understand where some people might be like, people put him up super high and he's not as good as the praise he's getting. Yeah. I like Keanu.

Yeah. Yeah, Keanu Reeves. me John Goodman John Goodman Give me John Goodman What do you think about Like Brad Pitt He's cool

He's in my second favorite movie ever Fury Moneyball Oh Oh Yeah that's a good movie That's a good movie That's a good movie

I like Brad Pitt I think my favorite Brad Pitt's a good I feel like him Because I feel like he can do a lot of things Like a lot of different genre of movies I get him and Matt Damon mixed up all the time

Yeah. All the time. Which one's an Inglorious Basters? Is that David? That's Brad Pitt. Brad Pitt. Which one's in Oppenheimer? Matt Damon.

Is it? Yeah, he's the American. I haven't seen it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I haven't seen it. I've seen enough. I watch movies through YouTube shorts. Sure.

And, uh, TikTok. Another Christopher Nolan movie, by the way, with Killian Murphy. Oppenheimer was an all right movie. I wouldn't watch that in theater. It's all right. I could see. see you not liking Oppenheimer. Yeah.

Just because it's really long and it's really like narrative. Dry. Yeah. It's not like action. It's all like. It's pretty boring. The video that's like,

I like Spider-Man. Flying around and stuff. The, the video that dude farted during the bomb scene of Oppenheimer. I haven't seen that. You've never seen that?

I don't think so. Dude, it's like, so it's like the radio voice is like three. two, one, and then it's like silent. The film goes silent for like three seconds. And this dude in the theater just dropped a tank. And then some dude, it's like an empty movie theater, but the dude in the front, like all the way up just starts dying, laughing.

And then the whole, like, there's like, maybe I have seen this, but we're going to look it up after. Do you remember all the, uh, the Minecraft movie shit? The moment, my thing. I watched the Minecraft movie. I've never seen. I didn't watch a movie. A live chicken.

No, I haven't seen the next one. They were getting to the point where they were, and we'll get to my favorite actor in a second, but since everyone asked. As I was saying before, I don't know, I was kind of fiddling with this and I think I might have cut it off. I was got to fuck with something. God damn. Fuck. What I was going to say was it was getting to the point where they were preemptively coming into the feeder and saying like, guys, when we get to the table, chicken jockey part.

Please. We would love for you to get excited and yell out, but please don't throw popcorn everywhere. Dude, I think they were having, like, police officers hanging out. Oh, my God. They were, like, just stopping the movie. Yeah, it got bad.

Yeah, it was... Were they pausing it and announcing that right before that scene? No, no, no, no. It was like pre-movie. They just throws. It was like... Pre-movie, but... Now, what you're about to watch is going to be... Sorry, motherfuckers. I swear to Any of you have live chickens. If I see a Colonel

Throne, you all are God. They just bring in the janitor and he's just the short little Hispanic guy. He's got a gun. And they're like, he just looks super worn down. They're like, all right, this is Sergio's 15th Minecraft movie today.

Why's the janitor got to be Hispanic and short? Come on. You know who it is. You know who it is. You know a white dude named Dave. It's not as sympathetic. If it's a white dude, guy, you don't care. If it's a short little Mexican guy

trying to provide for his family, you feel more bad for him. So just roll with it. What? I'm rolling. No, he's just wearing a hat. He's just wearing a hat. All right. Who's your favorite actor? Gun to my head. Denzel. Denzel. Boom. Really? I love Denzel.

He's pretty good. He's really good. I'm from around the wood. I think I could almost do a top five. I have a give me a top five. You could almost do a top five? Yeah. So four. maybe just and I mean maybe three. Could be two. Obviously number one.

Tom Holland. Brad Pitt. Whoa. Oh, whoa. Oh, Oh, you just said Tom Holland was your favorite.

Now it's the Brad Pitt is? I'm just kidding. Tom Holland. Okay, Brad Pitt number two. Yeah, Brad Pitt number two. Okay. And number three. It's kind of crazy.

A little kerball. Oh, got to go. Probably Morgan Freeman. okay dude i thought you were gonna say kind of crazy and then go like the rock no i thought you're gonna just name a woman i was i was thinking jennifer morgue she's in a lot of good stuff too

yeah she's like she's like my celebrity crush i've told lena i told lena i told lena she's my hall pass i might have to join you on that hall but not with you but well if that's how i have to get it hey I'll do what you gotta do I'll go I'll go first I'll go first

I'll set the bar real low Thanks And then you can Yeah yeah You can go first So I have to go in after you Yeah yeah You'll set the bar low

I'll set the bar low She'd be like god That sucked And then I'm like going to get a drink of water You're like all right And I'm like You're done

I'm done a shoulder I'm throwing a shoulder Or a towel over my shoulder You're just like Cracking open a water You're just like All right, I'm done. I didn't even piss.

It's like a UFC corner. They got ice going under my eyes and shit. Like, dude, rubbing the Vaseline? All right, we got one. We would totally slap hands as we were walking by each other as I was walking. You were walking out. He's walking out. She's bad.

Yeah, I got it primed up for you. My God And Lena Lena's kind of surprised She's like really her And I'm just like Listen I think part of the appeal of her

Is because she's like Kind of funny Yeah Like there's personality She seems normal Which one is Lawrence I get all three Jennifer Lawrence

Is she horrible bosses? No That's Jennifer Amiston Yeah Lawrence is Hunger Games Yeah Yeah Yeah

Yeah Yeah Got it. Yeah. I'm there now. But Hunger Games, her is not that hot, in my opinion. She has a movie that she's naked. Yeah, it's just, you know.

I don't know what it's called me. We're thinking of that movie, right? What's it? She's like a Russian spy or something? That's not what I was thinking about. Yeah, no, no, no, no. Oh, no, no. Her parents hire her to be their son's girlfriend is what it is, I think.

His parents. Yeah, yeah, his parents hire her. And she's super, like, seductive. How can I do that? She's, like, super, super. seductive to this guy like trying to get him to want to bang her and it's like oh the way she's like talking to him it's like oh and yeah there is a scene where she's like they only make dealer clothes on the beach and she like beat them all up naked naked naked yeah get me

get me that all right get me that him's over here like what do i got to do i got to i'm not really into bdsm stuff but she could use my nuts as a puncher back nice a little speedbag guy yeah I'm like, this hurts so bad, but you're so hot. If she just wants them, I'll give them to. Both of them. Do you have favorite directors? I feel like it's a better question for you than just actors. Christopher Nolan's obviously really good.

Spielberg. What do we get? Obviously. Not ready. Sure by that? Yeah, I'm sure. I really like Ariaster. He's got a good movie.

That thing looks way in view than that. Does he do anything not like Horned or sign combo? I don't know, but those first, I mean, Midsummer and Hereditary were so good. That's like the only time where I've like looked up what a director's next project was. Because I was like, those were so good.

They're doing their side combo. You mean Marty Scorsese. I was going to say Scorsese is one of them. I always wanted to call him Marty. I've never been able to call Marty, but everybody. He's like been in a Martin Scorsese movie. He's like, yeah, Marty's a real whatever.

He's a real piece of work. He got, Marty. Hey, yo, Ma. Did you see that one story where it was Wolf of Wall Street and it was Jonah Hill talking about, there was a scene where... Did you see he lost all of the weight? Fuck what you were saying.

That was boring. Let's talk about what Spencer said. What did you even say? He lost all of his weight. Hasn't he been losing weight like his whole career? No, it's bad now. Is he on the Oz or what? He's probably on the Oz.

Dr. Oz. I don't know. His way it's like a seismic graph, dude. I always see him wearing some animal print too. His weight is a heart. He's always got some like leopard skin. He loves a leopard print. I've never thought of that until you said it.

Yeah. And some colored glasses too. Son of a bitch. He's wearing leopard print. Yeah. He's got the colored glass. Look at him. No, but they're like grab up glasses.

I mean, come on, dude. Is that real? Yeah, that's real. What the fuck is on the- What is that? What do you think it is? What? Like, how do you think he lost all the weight?

Cog. Drugs. You think drugs? Oh, man. Depends on how fast it was. I don't know what the timeline was. Yeah, I also don't know. in like four months and yeah it's like a Zimicin drugs well now that's a cocktail he doesn't even look

healthy but here's that is not healthy I swear to God if he looked more put together he'd probably look help like but here's the thing he's wearing crazy shit yeah that and also do you ever struggle with seeing like I feel like when I have a preconceived notion this is this is what I'm talking about and then they lose a bunch of weight they just like look off proportion yeah yeah But then, like, you have a memory of the way someone is. And, like, even in a recent, in a recent movie where maybe he has lost some weight, where you're like, oh, yeah, he's like, there's a side by side comparison. Like, that looks, he looks healthier than that other picture. But, like, what's the time gap?

You know what I mean? I don't know the time gap. If it's like, oh, well, these pictures were taken two years apart, you haven't really seen him in a movie recently. So you, the last memory you have of him was this. it's been years you can lose that much weight diet and exercising you have money to have it's still it also starts off a lot easier to lose weight than it ends in the back end because like as big as he was he's probably eating like 7,000 calories a day it's like if I have a no idea way down I can get into the science of how you lose weight and all that stuff but it's probably really easy

to shave off like a ton of pounds early oh right like just getting up and going for a walk is putting you in a cohort. Because you have a BMR, basal metabolic rate, and it's really easy to eat under that when you're that big. Right. So, like,

I can get in science. What? That was sick. I've never seen someone do a can flip. What just happened? You guys are wondering why we call him him? It's because he does shit like that. Are we still recording?

Yeah, we got that. All right. I need to replay that. well, I'll just put that as... I was turned around. The hard crack follow through. I'll just put that as our opening clip. Yeah, I'm going to need to re-watch that.

I was turned around. I was a bad effects. It's a cool explosion. I was fully prepared for every can in front of me just to fall over. No, you were. There was only one outcome where that worked out. You hit it. I did it.

One in 14. I don't know. $14.14.1 trillion. Trillion dollars. Did you see that? Elon's like almost a trillion or anything? No, probably. So, bitch.

A trillion. I think so. I think he's getting close. I think he's at like 800 billion or something. I think SpaceX is probably... Yeah, but how do they judge... How do they judge his net worth? The amount that his companies that he owns are worth, his stocks.

That's like relative to like, if he sold every asset he had, this is how much money he would have. Yeah, but at the point that he's at, if he did that, it would, like, ruin the economy. He has that much of like a It's not 800 billion liquid No no no no no Buy a country But like how much do you actually think Like his everyday walking around

You say He said he could buy an island Actually he got rejected from the island Did he? Did he? Yeah Do you use that autistic That he was like no

You can probably find that All the emails with him Are him like asking To go really and then saying no or like not answering him huh you think they're like this guy's a narc I don't know they probably like had like a dinner with them fucking Amazon boy wants to come

yeah fuck that to answer your question a lot still do you think he's walking around how much he's everyday walking around account is oh like how much he has liquid no just like because you got a thing

his companies are worth this much, but he's not. What's his wallet look like? He's not... How much... How big is his wallet? Do you understand, like, how little a hundred million is? Oh, yeah.

It comes to 800 billion. Yeah. Like, that's probably like us having like a hundred bucks. Oh, my God. Well, yeah. But he's not walking around with a hundred mill. He could be. Like, his check-s account could very well be that.

Whoa, dude. Yeah. I've been in Wells Fargo and you guys... Can't even see the full number. Like, the display. What is it? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It just, it just goes to 100K, 100 M, 100 B.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. What kind of... It's like scientific notation or whatever. It's like 10 minus 3 plus E to the 13. Yeah, yeah. What kind of person do you turn into where you're literally, when it comes to making purchases or, like, doing anything, it's just like, like, numbers on a screen and it has no actual meaning behind it.

Are you saying like at what point does it get to that? Or just like, what do you think you turn into as a person where you're just like, I could buy. It's probably so fun. I could buy 50 pontoons right now if I wanted to and it wouldn't even put a drop in the bucket. Not even that, but just being able to like spend it grand and like not even worry about it. Like I remember one point in my life where I was like, this is my dream car to have a truck. and I struggled to make payments on it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then now I could buy an entire dealership of cards if I wanted to. Like, what is that? I'd like to think, I've talked about this. I like to think that I wouldn't change. Like, I think you could put any money in my bank account. I don't think I would. Money changes people.

It does, it absolutely does. But I don't think that I would. Like, I, if I won the lottery right now, you guys would all be rich. Like, I'm not keeping that money to myself. it till it happens. So you get that tax. Yeah. Yeah.

And you're like, no. Oh. But like you're thinking it one dimensionally. Like sure, I don't get a billion dollars. But if I got 300 million, how much would you guys live change with five million bucks?

And now I have. That would be too much. Yeah. I wouldn't even want it. I'd probably die. I wouldn't even want it. Probably die. I wouldn't even want it.

I, I'm a guy you can't have money. That's what I'm saying. It's like, To a rich person, it's like, yeah, I'm not going to give away $15 million, but like none of us had anything and now somebody has everything. I would make everybody have everything. Because if I have $300 million or if I have $285 million, I'm in the same spot. Like nothing changes. So like it would change everything for you guys and nothing for me. I would absolutely give it away. In all real, like reality though, if you had like about a million-ish dollar, and you took it to a stocker, you could probably make never work. Who could I get?

No, like you could like flip that and never, never have to work again. Good financing. Oh, yeah. Who could I get for a million? No, not like that. No, he's not saying buy someone. I know, I know.

Stop brokers. Don't work you. Oh, I know what you were saying. Like an account, like someone to move your money around for. you. No, I was thinking like a human stock. Oh.

You think a million would get me Jennifer? Or, uh, Jennifer and Lord? No. Not a shot. I think, like, a decent, like, financial advisor is going to get you, like, a 10% return on your money. So if you get a million dollars, you'd get $100,000 a year. Yeah. And that's, like, what retired is.

That's more than enough to live off of. Yeah. So, like, let's. When I really think about it, I've always said, I don't want to know what kind of asshole I would turn into. Because I don't know. I would love to say I wouldn't, but I've never been in that scenario. And when I think about it, I'm like, as much as I can say, like, my job gets annoying or like it's hard work or like, I wish I could. It's something to do and it keeps me busy and it keeps me sane.

because even times where I've like taken a week off I start to get so bored and I'm like I'm going through the motions and I don't really you know

it actually takes more than you would think to like self motivate yourself to do stuff when you have no agenda oh yeah you know what I mean so if you had the ultimate

no agenda of never having to work again I just I don't know if I would want no I need a job Even when I got hurt Don't get me wrong I'd love to pay off all my bills And like have my parents set

But then I would still want to stay busy Yeah yeah And if I was filthy rich I don't know if I would make myself stay busy By a country club So like you wouldn't trust yourself To keep yourself busy I don't know

I'm scared of myself Or your own like projects Like I'm sure I could Well actually you'd have unlimited But I don't know And I don't want to know Not unlimited money

It'd be easy You could just keep yourself busy With projects I don't think that's true You can follow. I'm sure I could. If I surrounded myself with the right people. I don't think that you're saying you don't want to know it's true.

If somebody walked up and said here's a billion dollars, you wouldn't say no. I would say, can I have $50,000? No, you wouldn't. No, show. I don't know. You can follow weather. You're not taking $50,000. I just want enough to be good.

I'll take a mill. $50,000 is not enough to be good. Let's see, a million would be a thousandth of that. I'll take a mill. no i would no i'm taking it all yeah no i'm taking it all okay i would take it all okay i would take it all but i would give a lot of it away exactly and i don't think that that money would change you then whatever you were left over with wouldn't change you or as a person no one man you have all that power well what's the point of getting a bunch of money and then giving it away

what in the fuck if someone's gonna be like i'm buying giraffes and shit what are we Do you, huh? Chop liver? Yeah. Are you serious? No, what I'm saying is... If you got one billion dollars, you're keeping it all. No.

And not giving us a cent? Yeah, no. I don't know who you are. God damn, man. What the fuck? I don't know your name. She's getting mad about a scenario that we'll never have. No, a billion is different.

I'm forgetting all my day wants, do that. Oh, my bad. One billion different than a hundred mill. Y'all broke it. I'll never get you a beer again. I'm pulling up your house. I'm money spread. Your house.

My bad I made you walk home one time. That wasn't even your fault. That was all me. God. It was funny. Abby was a, she was like, she's trying to hit like 10,000 steps every day or whatever.

Yeah. And we were trying to like figure out like how she could do it because she was, works from home from like just black out of the bars well and i was like but then you got to hit 20,000 to offset the black oh yeah yeah that one time ben probably i'm going back when he walked home it was yeah 50 miles 50 miles wow what what did you walk 10 miles home six six miles home well because i went the wrong i started walking towards shields yeah instead of towards my house And I saw shields and I was like, uh, uh, you got, I was so drunk.

I didn't know how to get home. How many miles is 50,000 steps? I think I did 20,000. 25 miles. 20 to 25 miles for most people. Yeah. The total depends heavily on level of intoxication. I mean, stride length.

Stride length. Stumbling. It affects it. Oh, I'm sure it does. No, it does. He was saying it was double, though, as if he's taking a whole other step. But I'm also wearing an Apple Watch, which may have skewed the results. That's what I think.

I think your Apple Watch is more accurate than my phone. Yeah, it is. So probably you guys were taking the same amount as me, but your phone wasn't tracking it as much. Or I think it overreeds. Was this a Phoenix? Were you guys getting more steps than me? Yeah. Well, I remember I came back and I was like, I had 20,000.

steps and you're like, if you shake your phone, it'll count as steps. Right, but I'm wearing an Apple watch. I had an Apple Watch. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And the day that I walked around the course and you guys went back to the hotel and slept, I had like 32K, I think. Oh my God. Yeah, dude. 32K? Do you not remember the blisters on my toes, dude? Well, if we ever do that again, I am walking. I'm like, prepping myself for that. Like, never wearing boots

to that again. That was a bad idea. But just like getting my legs ready to walk again. No, because I, you guys went back.

I walked around. You walked a half marathon, dude. 13 and a half to 15 miles. I walked around the course. Havezy. For like two hours. And then I had to walk back

to the hotel. So. Couldn't get Paris to come pick you up. I wish, dude. Dude, that was.

If we're ever in Phoenix again, we got to like... Did you ever hear that story? Because we told it on the pod, but you probably didn't hear it. No. We'll tell you after the pod, because we're not going to... We're not going to say it again. We're not going to open that can of worms. We're not going to open that bag of laundry.

What time are we trying to go to this? I got to get going pretty soon. Okay. We'll wrap it up here. Oh, the bull ride? Yeah. Are you guys going to come? or you dipping out?

I'll check it out. I'm not going to stay that long, though. I'm probably not going to stay terribly long. Yeah, I'm not yet. I got to get going, though. You got to work tomorrow. Are you going to go? Are you going to go at home?

It's supposed to rain, like, a lot. Yeah. Guess what? It's not my weekend, so I don't care. Oh, fuck. I do have a question about next weekend. I don't know if that goes through you or the bigger, the bigger boss.

The bigger boss. It might have to get the bigger boss. I don't know. Talk to mom. I want to talk to mom, dude. Fuck. I don't know. I don't know.

Half an inch. No, you'll show up, sit there for three hours and not do a fucking thing. Perfect, dude. Absolutely perfect. I have to wake up at 5.30 just to do nothing. Thank you guys all for watching and listening. I hope you enjoyed this four-person podcast set up. This actually isn't the first four-personer, but this is the first.

No, but this is the first four-personer with four mics. We recorded one with Cam, Bailey, Lena, and me, and, like, Cam and I shared a mic. That doesn't count. Yeah, it doesn't count. Or, no, Cam and I had our own mics, and Lena and Bailey. That doesn't count. Share to Mike. But, yeah, first official four-person miced-up pod.

I know I had a good time. This was fun, yeah. Definitely. Much better format. Why do you hand them to me upside? Definitely more to come. I hope you guys enjoyed Spotify and Apple Podcasts for audio only. Subscribe on YouTube.

Go follow us on Grass Daddy's TikTok. I haven't posted there in a while. Yeah, been a while. Been a while. But I'll get on there. I'll find a funny clip. Maybe I'll find a funny clip from this episode and post it. Maybe a little teaser?

Like a can flip, maybe? Fucking A. God, fuck. You can't do it again. I was going to say, oh, now we're all in chained. If that would have stayed. If that would have stayed, you make a pyramid from just flipping cans. Sorry, this is, this.

All right, all right. Okay. We're at. Come on, pussy. Thank you guys all for watching. Until next time. Restation is on meet. One, two, two, two.

Grass days. Hey. Oh.