Grass Daddies Podcast - Grass Daddies Podcast Episode 11: Guess who's back...back again

Episode Date: October 9, 2023

In this episode of the Grass Daddies podcast the prodical son has returned! The boys catch up on Kam's vaction to Mexico which was quite and "engaging" experience. The boys pick up right where they left off with the funny stories, shit your pants talk, and discussing an interesting video that Jake found on Youtube. Follow us on Social Media! Youtube: grassdaddiespodcast Instagram: @grassdaddiespodcast @kamdenwellmann @jakekillham Tik Tok: @kandenwellmann (yes thats how it's spelled) @jakekillham11

in this episode of the grass studies podcast this is a high-end podcast it was already pretty sticky i'm gonna be in a mexican fucking hospital where the people on uh like i don't want any of these people touching no right behind the green on three i just dropped my pants got completely on there's houses like 100 yards away i was like have you ever got your balls sucked too hard we're going there welcome to uh this is what my butt looks like before i couldn't think of anything that's cam i'm jake and we are the grass daddies welcome back my brother hey welcome back holy shit good to see you good to have you back like 19 years has gone by

i don't know if you can tell from the way i sound but i am now sick but unlike cam i'm still here baby i'm not taking three weeks off from the pod oh don't cough now and be like oh look how sick i am still i am sick well you were sick you were definitely sick. But I didn't pull my labia like you did. And I'm here. And the show goes on. The show goes on. The past three weeks, I've just been sitting in the battle bus waiting for Jake to grab my reboot card from Tilted Towers. That was such a funny joke

so not only am i sick did you have something you wanted to add to that is there something else you wanted to say yeah the other day i was changing cups i'm like what is something just outlandishly stupid i can say on the podcast you're like something about fortnite would suffice um so not only am i sick thank you um but i'm also get it out of your system i'm also doing Sober October. So. And I am not.

So, my beer menu tonight is some Best Choice Purified Drinking Water with a liquid IV and an emergency. And Cam's got the good old Coors Banquets. Some yellow jackets. So so I don't think those are twist-offs are they oh they are okay well in the event that they weren't I got you this um this was on my fridge it's like a nifty little um uh Punta Cana it's a bottle cap but it's got a bottle opener but it's also got got a twist off opener on the bottom. So, you know, people struggling to twist off your beers with a usually like they use their shirt. You can like put that on there and help get it off.

So he cracked open his drink. I'm going to make me a liquid IV. No, I'm going to I'm going to start with an emergency. Dude, the Concord grape. Concord grape. Liquid IV, shout out to you guys. You guys did something right with the Concord grape. Liquid IV, sponsor this podcast.

Sponsor this podcast, Liquid IV. We're getting desperate, okay? We've done about every beer we've drank on here. Nobody's reached out. Bush Light has not reached out. Coors Light has not reached out. I don't know what's going on over there at corporate. They got their heads up their ass, apparently.

Yeah, what the hell? Cut me some slack. It was either that or regular Coors, and I figured you'd want to bang with it. Some yellow jackets. Look at this. Pink. Very observant, Cam. That is the color pink it's pink oh i almost put my lid on upside down dude i fell out of it today all day at work i i went to work

today even though i'm sick and i've been getting sicker ever since i started feeling sick but i still went to work today that works and Well, I've been trying to push through and like last night I took some NyQuil. This morning I took some DayQuil. Didn't eat. All I had was a big a lot of coffee on top of DayQuil and I felt almost high.

I felt out of it all day. Oh, boy. But I got to boost this immune system. Well, I went to the doctors, which makes no sense. Did they figure out what's wrong with you? No. No, they didn't. I mean up here.

They said I'm close to the spectrum. Like the color spectrum we just don't know what you are i was made in a lab you're awfully tan i was a test subject uh yeah we just got back from mexico and then i well i got sick in mexico and then oh wait no i was so cam just got back from Mexico. Cam, how was your trip? Tell us about your trip. I didn't want to have to make you lead into it. I hear it was pretty engaging. Yeah, it was pretty good.

I got engaged while we were down there from our social media manager. Hold on, say that again, because I definitely made a noise over here. I got engaged to our social media manager while we were down there oh you want to put the ring in front of the camera okay and then i uh got your sunglasses on people and then i got sick so yeah i got you think that you were so nervous that it made you sick well like i i was just i think i was just so stressed out about the whole thing that my immune system was just you were so

clinched up that it was just yeah were you clinched up on the beach when you when you pop the question were you clinched a little bit yeah well because she she kept trying to walk behind me, and it was in my back pocket, so I had to fucking hide it somehow. You should have keistered it, just to leave out any... And then I could have just stuck my finger up my ass. Yeah. Hey, look where I got. You would have just... You drop to a knee, and you open the box, and she goes, there's no ring in there.

And you're like, about that. And then you just bend over, and you say, this is what my belly looks like before. And then you spread your cheeks, and then she just sticks her finger in there and just comes out with a ring. And then she just sticks her finger down there, and then I just hit it with a wink, and it just goes. You just wink it out. It goes right onto her finger. Oh, that would hurt the diamond on there oh that would definitely leave some lacerations so lacerated anus traveling thousands and thousands of miles how long was the flight uh makes no sense so when we flew down there, we flew from Omaha to Minneapolis, which makes no sense.

We're going farther north. It's like a connecting airport probably to go to a different plane that can hold more fuel or something. And that flight sucked. It was four hours long. Four hours? Yeah. It doesn't seem that bad. It doesn't seem that bad, but it sucks.

Four hours sucks. And then we flew from Mexico to Atlanta, which wasn't bad, and then Atlanta to Omaha. Uh-oh. Yeah, our social media. I forgot our AirPods the whole time. Our social media. I forgot the part where we'd have to sit motionless for hours on end while doing nothing. We were in shambles.

You were out of sorts. You were wayward. You were yonder. We didn't really think about the fact of, hey, we're going to have some downtime from when we go to the pool to eat. And from eating to just hanging out, doing whatever. So we packed all these dress clothes for dinner because the restaurants are supposed to dress nice. Yeah. And then, yeah.

So we didn't have very many relaxing clothes. So how many days were you there again? Five nights. Six days. Well, five nights six days well five what five days what day did you propose uh second day we were down second day okay so you didn't have okay so yeah i think that's good because then you didn't have as much suspense because you said you were shaken and like you said you thought your immune system was shutting down you were so nervous well then it wasn't then you got it over with and then you could like party and enjoy like

yeah engaged and we're on vacation this is so much fun well then you got sick the other thing was we were super tired we had to wake up at 3 30 the day we flew out yeah be careful this cat listen this cat's been a menace. And I've been thinking about not letting him in anymore. I swear he bumped something on the laptop because in the last episode, the audio got all fucked up about halfway through. And so the audio only is coming from the phone. So it sounds shitty. You can still hear it.

But we need to... If he jumps up on the table we need to watch him make sure he's not fucking with anything all right go ahead so then yeah i don't know because i that's when i usually get sick is when like i'm super tired and like super like stressed out like when work gets really busy and yeah that's when i'll get sick yeah that's why I'm getting sick. Sick of it. Sick of it.

Just sick and tired of it. But, um, yeah, other than that, it was good. It was the most expensive two-day vacation I've ever taken. Two-day? Yeah, I got sick on the second day. Oh. So, the, like, the rest of the days, I didn't do shit. Well, I saw pictures of you, like, snorkeling.

When was that? The, uh... So, were you sick when that happened? No. So you went, it was a Thursday to, what was it? So it was six days, five nights. Okay. We stayed there and so well because when you got sick you were bedridden like you did nothing yeah well it sucks like i don't know exactly what my fever is but it had to be up like it it had to be up to like 104 dude it was what dude did you have a thermometer when you were down there no and that's why i think anything above like 102 is like you're

getting into brain damage territory dude it was i literally woke up and like bailey said like like i was hot like touching me like yeah and you could feel like i so i always sleep with my arm under my pillow like i like grab my pillow and i sleep like this on my side yeah and i could feel the heat from my head through my pillow oh my god on my arm and i was like i they went down for breakfast and I was like, I'm staying here. Like I took, her mom had some ibuprofen.

I took it. Cause one, they only had a fucking gift shop with like the bare minimum shit in it. Like you need band-aids. Yeah. And we'll charge you $30 for a pack of fucking band-aids. Cause you need a heating pad. No.

Like me is Caliente muy caliente so estoy caliente i think also that's why i felt sicker down there was because one i was worried because i didn't know what was wrong if something and i was like so hot and like i just was so like didn't feel like myself didn't feel like how i've been sick before. That I was like, dude, if something actually goes wrong and I have to go see a doctor or go to, like, the emergency room. Yeah. I'm going to be in a Mexican fucking hospital. Where the people on. Like, I don't want any of these people touching me.

Easy, Cam. Easy. like even the people in the resort that are around like americans 95 percent of the time they still like it's hard to comprehend like english and like i know no spanish it's not their native language yeah and i don't really want to end up in a hospital in Mexico. So I feel like that was another thing. I was stressed out about that. I'm sick where I'm not like really comfortable. Yeah.

And you, I had no medicine besides ibuprofen and Tylenol. Tylenol. Tylenol. Um, but the day that they went down to breakfast, I took a Tylenol and went back to bed. I, but the day that they went down to breakfast I took a Tylenol and went back to bed I

I woke up and literally checked myself because the bed was so wet I thought I pissed myself no I'm not even shitting you which you have a history of doing right? no

I thought no I need to give Shane a phone call. No. I need to. Oh, I can't wait till the next year's beer Olympics. But the. Yeah.

Like Bailey came home. I'm like, feel this fucking bed. And I knew I didn't piss myself because my shorts were the driest part of my body my hair was like wet like it literally was like i got out of the shower and then i finally started to feel better like a little bit better so we went out and like hung out at the pool and then when'd you buy the tequila uh when we went snorkeling i was at the husker game and i get a snapchat of a receipt that says two thousand dollars and there was a dollar sign and i'm like what and they're like yeah we just bought this bottle of tequila i'm like is it actually two

thousand dollars and you're like it's in pesos so it's like 120 bucks i'm like oh my god oh my god i thought it was a tooth i was like i didn't know they were like that i was like damn cam was really got some savings he bought a ring a thousand dollar bottle of tequila holy shit uh well so can you hit a little rich flags for me the snorkeling it was fun and cool and all i'm a little sick but they they had the shitty snorkels that are just like open so like just like a two does like a snorkel yeah but like not like those fancy snorkels where they give you that oxygen tank on the back no because they make they make a snorkel that has like a flap in it. So when you breathe, the flap opens. But if you're not breathing, it stays shut.

So water can't get in it. Oh, so you can go under the water. Yes. You can like hold your breath. And then go up and poof. Yeah. Like a whale. Kind of.

Like a blowhole. Yeah. Well, there was some dude that was, listen, if you somehow find my podcast, you piss me off. You're too worried about your goddamn listen up jose pictures what was his name i don't know he was a michigan fan even more reason but um so he was flipping water in there and i drank so much salt water he was flipping water into your snorkel yeah like just trying to troll you no like he was just swimming but he was too worried about his phone that he

wasn't paying attention to other people around him why was he swimming with his phone he had like one of those deals that go around your neck the waterproof things and he's like taking pictures i'm like jesus fuck dude like fucking pay attention and he just looks like a wounded seal just splashing water everywhere sir i think we have a drowning victim he's making no substantial progress in the water he's flailing his limbs violently so um well i don't i hope you guys would know but salt's supposed to help you retain liquids yeah that's why this has salt in it yeah and so then liquid ivy the first sponsor by look no i'm just it was the next night next morning after we went snorkeling that i felt like absolute dog shit which we were drinking that night and like i was drinking the whole time on the boat

and all that like i drank so much seawater i think i wouldn't be so dehydrated so i was like at first it crossed my mind that I just felt like shit because the salt water was just helping me retain all the alcohol. So I wasn't sweating it out and I couldn't get the alcohol out. So it was just staying in my system. Makes sense. And I just had a shitty-ass hangover. And then, yeah, I shortly realized that it wasn't just a hangover.

I felt I was puking. I was puking. That sucks. Yeah, it's all right we'll go back what else was gonna say oh and then we got back and i was like all right guys i finally feel good enough to go to work i go to work i'm changing cups and shit myself oh yeah yeah yeah officially it there was no there was no catching this one in the butt cheeks, folks. It touched cloth. I think it touched, if I'm not mistaken, it touched sock.

Yeah. It was everywhere. That's definitely shitting yourself. It was everywhere. So I don't know if you guys know this, but you're always going to carry an extra pair of socks because if you need something to wipe your ass with, sock's the next best thing. It was my day off. I a face time from cam i'm i i think i was still in bed you were hungover you went to the wedding

well yeah i was laying in bed sleeping i get a call from cam guess what i shit myself. I'm like, uh. You're like, yeah, I'm going commando in jeans right now. I'm like, oh my god. I want to go back to sleep. So, yeah, I lost a pair of underwear and a pair of socks that day. Oh, yeah, because. Because you threw the underwear into the wood somewhere right and then you use the socks to wipe i use the socks right yes i use the socks to wipe enough shit off my ass cheeks that i wouldn't god brother an absolute mess of my shorts which i still get a

did get a little bit of fecal matter on my shorts. So I went back to the shop, grabbed some paper towels, made some wet naps, cleaned myself up. Wait, so did you just like run into the cedar line and just drop your drawers? No, right behind the green on three, I just dropped my pants, got completely undressed. Their house is like 100 yards away. Got completely undressed, naked, wiped my ass, threw my socks in the wood. Yeah.

You took your shirt off too? No, I had to take my underwear off. So you were Winnie the Poo-ing it. You were just shirt, only shirt, nothing else. Shirt, cock, right behind three green. Oh my god. So then I yeeted my socks out into the woods and then I was like coming back and I'm like

well, I don't really want to hope my bosses aren't there. I don't want to explain why I have a pair of underwear full of shit. So you had like a pair of jeans. Yeah. Like my. At work to change into. Yeah.

You're just in case I shit myself jeans. Yeah. So you were just dick to zipper into those jeans. God. That is. I don't know if you remember. That's brave. I don't know if you remember, but don't know if you remember but i said

when i called you i was like well i'm going commando in jeans now i feel like i really gotta go confess my sins to god i need to go to church i feel like that's a sin to go commando in jeans yes i feel like that's the one thing that's a no-no. Dick to zipper. Rough riding. Dick to zipper. Wrangler. And then I was changing cups. Sponsored by Wrangler. I was changing cups, so it's a lot of up and down. So the tip, I thought I was going to have to go get some baby powder.

Yeah, I was going to say. Oh, yeah. I was going to say. Some Gold Bond from a game. When you're changing cups, you're bending over and standing up and bending over a lot. So there's a lot of chances for uh chafing to occur um on a very sensitive area against a very pinchy metal so yeah then this whole thing has just been a shit show so the other morning i was driving to work and i had a loogie

so bad but my mouth was dry and i couldn't get it out so i was gagging and i ended up puking all over the side of my truck what yeah and then i just whipped my inside the door or outside like on the outside like i was like driving like this and i was like so then i wheeled my truck down to the wash bay at work and i was just washing the side of my truck off and gabe comes holding around the, and I was just washing the side of my truck off. And Gabe comes holding it around the corner, and I was just like, God, please don't ask questions. I don't want to. Our bosses at work think if anything is wrong with somebody, they're tired, they're sick, anything,

they in some resort to, man, they tied one on last night. You got the brown bottle flu if i had a nickel i'd probably have like 20 nickels so i was just like god please don't ask any questions so then i washed my truck off and then i went inside i was driving to work um yesterday i think it was yesterday almost rained someone over um it was right after we got all the rain 50 points it was right after we got all the rain and so i got in my truck and both of my windows um were super like covered in rain so i couldn't hardly see out of them so i pulled down to the intersection um and i was like looking out the window.

I'm like, I can't see if there's cars coming. So I like rolled my window down. And then as I was rolling it back up, I started driving forward. But like in the time I looked and didn't see anything because there was rain covering it. A guy was running shirtless. That doesn't have anything to do with it, but he didn't have a shirt on. He was running right in front of my like truck right when I was starting to go, and I was like, oh, shit. And then he was kind of jogging along, and he was shaking his head, and I'm like...

And so I drove past him, and I rolled my window down, and I was like, sorry, dude, as I drove by him. And then, as I got further down the road, kind of similar to you, but not really, I was trying to hawk a loogie, and I went went to spit but it didn't make it out the window and it just went right on the side of my and it kind of ran out i'm like oh fuck well that's gross well and i was like like i i felt it coming like i was like dry heaving and i'm like it's it's god it doesn't take much to get you to puke. No. Roll the clip of Cam taking his shot in Mexico. I probably won't remember it too.

But if I do remember, I'll put it in there. And I'll slow-mo the part where you're going... Like it was just knocking on your door. Dude, it was literally like you put a fucking shot of tequila in a coffee pot because it was hot that's what did you hot and they said when you're in tequila not in tequila in mexico they the way they do it down there is they take the shot and then they swished around their mouth oh and. I thought I saw you kind of swish it. So I was trying that. I was like, why did you do that?

Because it was a shot before dinner. And they said down there, it's like their routine. You get a shot of tequila in your drink. And you take your shot of tequila before dinner. Swish it around your mouth. And it like wakes up your taste buds. So you can taste all the flavors. Yeah.

Well, we're about to go eat supper. So'm like i'm gonna swish around i'm gonna gargle some warm tequila i was like fuck it i'm gonna try it and then it wasn't bad in my mouth because you know when you take a shot of tequila your mouth kind of just goes numb because it's like are you pouring gas in me yeah and then right once it hit clean now once it hit my little dangly thing and swinging the back of my throat it was just like no go and then we got a trash can down here yeah everything we went golfing and I didn't even get a finish my round of golf that's so shitty shitty. I was like, I'm... How far did you get?

How many holes in? Three holes on the back. So, 13. That's bad. 10, 11, 12. Yeah. Well, and like, I still drove through the course and I was just kind of hitting balls around. But it was 93 degrees.

I had a raging fucking fever. And I was super tired I feel kind of warm right now are you warm? I feel hot right now anyways didn't you write something down oh fuck you fucked with it

oh god pause Didn't you write something down? Oh, fuck. You fucked with it. Oh, God. Pause, pause, pause, pause. Okay, you're back. We're back. Yeah. Didn't you write something down on your phone you wanted to tell me about? Yeah. But now that I said that, you probably remember.

I was going to tell you. I keep going like this. I don't have, like, a tick or anything. My ears are wanting to pop because I've been blowing my nose. So I'm going like this. I don't have like a tick or anything. My ears are wanting to pop because I've been blowing my nose. So I'm going like this. I'm not chewing gum over here. Trying to get my ears to pop. So I got this new thing for some reason.

It's just something new that came to my vocabulary. And boy, does it piss Bailey off. Oh, boy. It pisses her off. My new favorite thing to say is fucking tits that was your big thing you're like oh my god i gotta tell you something on the pod so it's like so say you're like man the stars won last night i'm like yeah that's fucking tits man so it's like as in like that's great that's fucking cool that's fucking great yeah that's fucking tits man that was what you were so

excited to tell me that was something that i wanted to add you're like at work today you're like oh my god i just thought of something i wanted to tell you on the pod like well write it down on your phone so you don't forget. Oh, yeah. Talking back to our shit talk. We were shit talking? We just went to a Mexican restaurant, and oh, my God, the bathroom smelled like sweaty shit gooch, dude. What does that even mean? Like swamp ass mixed with a little bit of diarrhea. Just like a hit that you caught between your butt cheeks.

What we have on the menu tonight is a swamp ass with a little bit of a little bit of shit and a gooch. Literally. Mixed together for a delightful aroma. And then I was trying I was trying to get you to go in and take a whiff. Switch it around before your dinner. I was trying to get you to go in and take a whiff.

And then I came out and fucking Dave was there. Dave! Shouts out to Dave. Yeah, Stars Dave. I don't know your last name so I can't name drop you. Stars Dave. Stars Dave. Stars Dave. Oh man, there's fucking ants crawling around on this table because we spilled fucking Red Bull on the last episode

and it's a little sticky right here. That's alright. Why do you think we got the white table? Yeah, it was already This is a high-end podcast it was already pretty sticky we got our mixer we got our phone we got our playmate cooler it was already pretty sticky we use this table for our other um production you can't really find you can't find that on certain websites but

i don't know i was a i was supposed to be a porn joke it wasn't that funny oh we already have like three times yeah i started the podcast this is what our table looks like post podcast pre-bath and skincare routine oh my god oh my god uh what the fuck oh we're losing it we really need to get a new mic stand for camden camden reese it's all. I got this. So, um, Lena and I are starting, like, uh, our little spooktober thing. Have you guys, are you guys doing any scary movies?

Bailey doesn't like scary movies. Well, it doesn't have to be scary. They can just be, like, fall or Halloween themed. Not the ones I like. She likes Caroline. Coraline. Sweet Caroline. It's like her favorite show to watch.

It's her favorite scary movie to watch. Oh. It's not fucking scary. When I'm thinking of scary, I'm thinking of As Above, So Below. That really gets my jitters going. That's like a mental torture that's what i like cinema um before we talk about scary movies or any um we gotta wait for our it's october oh yeah we can um it doesn't need to be a big thing um when you said favorite movie it reminded me the Step Brothers video we did

I was talking to Ben that was on last week and he was like what you should have done was start a quote or no he was like you should have I can't remember how he said I should have done it and I was like you know what I should have done was I should have started a quote and made you finish it. That would have fucked you up. You would not have been able to do that.

Because by me just saying the word for word and only you had to do yes or no, that's pretty easy. But if I was like, I'm going to start a quote and you have to say the remaining words of it, 100% you would fuck it up and not say the words right. All right. Can we put it can we put a dc and honey crisp apple online we could we can do another episode where we do a brief segment i i don't have i don't have them ready now i could do it no not right now i could do it we still i still gotta do i still gotta prep your i gotta find what movie that I know you can quote that I've seen. Which is probably done.

Or I think is funny as well. You should do like a... I thought about doing the other guys. We should do like Grown Ups. Talk about Grown Ups? Because that's definitely... I'm thinking you like Step Brothers or Grown Ups. That's about it.

So it's got to be one of those two. And we already did Step Brothers. The other guys. Will Ferrell. I like... have you seen the other guys not like enough to quote it but okay i definitely could quote it you're like trying to fuck it up now i'm trying to hold it there There we go. Anyway, so we've watched Jeepers Creepers 2. We watched... You got a board over there? I've got an idea. We watched the new Insidious movie.

How's that? It was alright. You have your board over there? It wasn't that scary. Can you hand me that? I got a... It wasn't that scary. Mid-podcast fix-up.

There was a lot of callbacks to, like, the... What are you doing? I'm trying to jimmy this. There we go. Are you shitting me? If you didn't think this was a fucking hodgepodge podcast before we've got one by fours holding up our mic stands you know i'll be watching like people celebrities that have like um their podcasts and i'm like looking at their fancy mic stands and they're like you can always

pause it and just no no no it's fine we keep it moving okay you know i'm saying i keep it moving they something on today but it ain't mine lena and i were quoting that the other night speaking of something i can quote shoot we were quoting that word for word it's like one of my favorite videos if they eat something on the day, it ain't mine. I'm telling you that now. I feel like, you know, it would be a funny one for you to quote. Would be like a comedy special, like jokes. Yeah, I could probably, like Ron White, I could probably quote some of those word for word.

I mean, we could do that. We could also do a movie too, but I kind of want to see how many jokes. I want to make a list of like jokes that I know we could do that. We could also do a movie too, but I kind of want to see how many jokes. I want to make a list of jokes that I know we've watched together. That's what we do in the winter. Oh, and then I can say which artist it comes from? Yeah. Or stand-up it comes from? That's what we do in the winter is we cut trees, we cut a limb off,

then we sit in the truck and watch a comedy special for an hour and a half. You didn't hear that, Craig. No. Or Tom or Gabe. We did watch a majority of that. No, we watched it in the office. We watched the whole Ron White special. It was awesome.

That's what we do in the winter. Nothing. Past time. Joey's working on a golf course i hate i kind of hate working in the winter though it's so boring because i don't get a 40 hours and time just goes by at a crawl that but the thing that's i the industry we work in that pisses me off is summertime hits you're super busy. You're like, oh my fucking God, I can't wait for winter.

You get into your first month of winter and you're like, all right, I'm ready for season to start. Yeah, I want it to warm up. It's like, it's just up and down. There's no like, I'm ready for this or that. I don't know if it's you guys didn't like me blasting my nose in there like a little trumpet alright test

test this thing out test the twister you're off of oh hell yeah that totally works well operator error let's see there you go got the magnets on there that's as i'd like to say this is fucking tits that's fucking tits money dude i shit my britches and i had to go command in my blue james yeah and i was i was literally waiting for gabe or somebody to go mid wardrobe change midday at work or it was like i don't know what you're talking about i came wearing these they're like you washed your truck in the wash bay and then changed

your pants halfway through your shift oh boy things they will never know or they might if they get a wild hair up their ass and they want to listen to our podcast. Dude, I know we've said this, but we were talking about this. I feel like this year has been this year has been more fun

because we've really got along with everybody we worked with this year like our summer help guys yeah we actually did become pretty good friends with a lot of our summer help guys typically we're like these guys are typically it's like all right like you're not to say they're i hate to say like they're throwaway humans, but, like, some people just come in and you can tell they're just kind of worthless as workers. Yeah. It's like they're not going to last very long, and there's no way they're coming back for another year or going to want to stay through the winter. Maybe what you should do, try moving it so...

There. Maybe what you should do is, like, angle it this way so it's pulling it like this versus... You have it, like, sticking straight out so it's putting the weight away from the table. You know what I mean? Like, if the weight of the mic... Like, try taking that out and just turning that to the side so the weight of the mic... Try taking that out and just turning that to the side. So the weight of the mic is pulling it into the table. And then you might just have to get closer.

You might have to come over closer to me, baby. Come here. Come here. See, there you go. This is going to be a little goofy looking, but... Why? Look at where I'm at. This is where I always sit.

I always sit with my arm on the table. Drew. And then I fiddle with whatever's up here. Because I like to fiddle. Yeah, I feel like... Fiddler on the roof. I feel like we've gotten pretty lucky this year. I mean...

Because not only are they personable, but they also are like hard workers for the most part. Mm-hmm. Which you get your. I'm kind of sick. You. You'll get your guys that come in for literally two days or a week and they're like, yeah, fuck this. Yeah, I'm out of here.

But those guys are also guys I feel like they're just like. I thought I was just going to be sitting on a mower all day. Yeah. It's like, no. Yeah. We told you that's what you're going to do. But that's not what you're going to do. You just going to be sitting on a mower all day. It's like, no. We told you that's what you're going to do, but that's not what you're going to do. Or just a lawn care company. Most of them guys, the bosses are the only ones that are on the fucking mowers. Did anything fun and exciting happen while I was gone?

Um, I don't think so. The wedding we went to was pretty fun. They had a party bus. Their party bus was an actual bus. It wasn't like a shuttle, you know? Like a school bus? Yeah, you know? Like a school bus? Yeah, like it was like a school bus that they stripped the seats out of and then just put bench along it. Or no, not like a school bus, but like a city bus.

Because there was like in the back, it kind of stepped up a little bit. That's where they had the stripper pole. I actually want to do that, and I feel like we could make a lot of money doing it. Oh, you want to own a party bus? You could buy a bus for like $12,000. That'd pay it back in a year. Okay, pitch me on it.

Give me the soft pitch. Soft pitch. I'm saying not very many party buses have this, but bartender. On the party bus. Why would you need a bartender when they're just bringing a fucking cooler on? They don't need a guy named Joffrey wearing a tux going, May I take your drink order? They're just like, Bush Light light it's not like he's making

them fancy cocktails okay fine but then you could have his i'm sorry i'm shitting on your pitch no well the bartender is kind of a far fetch but i think it would be pretty cool to have a party bus whether i even get whether we get like a small ass one just take our friends whenever we want that's just a vehicle Whether we get a small ass one and just take our friends whenever we want to. That's just a vehicle. You can legally drink and drive in. Well, the driver can't legally drink. Well, no shit.

Nobody can legally drink in a car. Well, how does that work? I was going to say what kind of permit do they have to have girlfriends that you guys are smarter than us can you guys look this up and put this to rest please why party buses are allowed to have

like patrons drinking alcohol on them on them dude my voice is getting worse it's setting in on me it's setting it on me pretty aggressively you need to take a nap tomorrow i need a banana i need a banana i might have to go on the brat diet you know what the brat diet is banana rice apple toast i think that's like if you have the flu I might have to go on the brat diet. You know what the brat diet is? No. Banana, rice, apple, toast. I think that's like if you have the flu.

Banana starts with a B. Okay. Rice starts with an R. Apple, toast, brat. Those four letters. I get what you're spelling, but why those? Because they're good for you when you're sick. Why? I thought soup was. I didn't create what you're spelling, but why those? Because they're good for you when you're sick. Why?

I didn't create the human body. I didn't decide what it needs when it's sick. I thought soup was good for you. Well, I don't know. Okay, brats. Just throw an S on the end. I'm on the brats diet. Give me some brats.

I know a guy. Do you? That knows a guy. I'm listening. On the Wendy's diet. My God. I think I know that guy. Okay, so today we just got a new worker who plays for the salt dogs he said he was gonna

give our podcast listen zane if you're listening if you're listening we're fucking shouting you out i'm gonna start doing my band workouts because i'm gonna be a closer for the salt dogs you're gonna get me an in with those guys. Yeah, hook it up with some fucking tickets, man. And I'm going to have a sick walkout song, like the whole city of Lincoln is going to shut down. They're going to start playing my thing, and everyone's going to fucking go crazy. And I'm going to come slow jogging in from the bullpen. Oh, my God.

People are going to be fucking collapsing over themselves. There's going to be beer flying everywhere people are gonna be like oh my god and then savior and then just get out there opening pitch and just throw it off speed yeah yeah yeah ephus first pitch just fuck yeah yeah yeah so one thing there's not like i think you have to have a specific Yeah. Like permit? Yeah. bus driver has to buy a party bus. But this thing says because the party bus slash limo driver are

separated from the passengers. Oh, they're technically not in the same vehicle? I mean, it's different than like if you were sitting next to me. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I get it. Fuck, boys. I'm gonna go to Walmart and buy me one of them

Extendable fucking Curtain rods We're just gonna take that out of my truck and just slide her over We'll just switch back and forth Well what about like if you set up benches In the back of your pickup It also Can I say one last thing

It also says that officers Well not necessarily officers But it's almost preferred that party buses exist Because it makes the roads safer Instead of someone getting drunk And then driving around I getcha That's only fun

A bar on wheels You give me a case of beer and I finish it off I'm looking for my keys I'm looking for Someone get this man his keys. That would be pretty sick, though. If we got hooked up. Maybe some tickets.

I mean, that'd be kind of cool. Zane, if you're listening. Yeah. Now we're going to have to tell him we shouted him out in this episode. No, I don't even care. Actually, we can't open up with this episode. What do you mean? This one hasn't been this funny.

I should have told him to go listen to episode four. If you haven't listened to episode four, episode four does plugging past episodes. We can't get a sponsor, so we have to sponsor ourselves, and we just tell people to go listen to past episodes we can't get a sponsor so we have to sponsor ourselves and we just tell people to go listen to past episodes i'm telling you guys episode four is like our golden ticket that you think it's our best one that's how we well right now yeah like it's just so funny our most listened to episode listen to like audio only is our second one holy shit we got 20 listens jesus or whatever that is um the fourth episode is actually um second third third highest behind one two three those ones um but thank you guys all for listening to those really appreciate it i don't know if that's on spotify i need to go and look on spotify because ben claimed that you can leave a comment

on spotify and i'm like huh he's like if you like a spotify episode you can leave a comment on it and i don't i didn't know that was a thing i need to go like sign into the grass daddy's podcast somehow because i haven't signed into like my my personal one for my music and see if see if the comment is on there because he said he left a comment i'm like i don't know well okay so now that we're hearing that if you guys do like our content, leave a comment because... Obviously, you can leave a comment on YouTube. This whole thing, it's hard to see what your numbers are. Yeah, because... Okay, so for reference, the third-party software or whatever I use, it says downloads.

But I don't know if a download is a view or what the fuck that means. See, and I take downloads because you can download episodes on. I know. And that's way too many. Total downloads, 108. You think that many people. It's got to be views or listens or whatever the fuck. You think that many people like our podcast that much that

no i don't think so that's what i'm saying like it's got to be something so if you guys do like our content go on spotify like the video like go on instagram and comment on a post yeah on yeah one of the like three posts she's not listening yeah one of our, like, three posts. She's not listening. Yeah, one of our three posts on our Instagram. Or our YouTube. So, dude, I don't know what the fuck is up with YouTube. Because the last episode I did only published 23 minutes. So I'm like, well, fuck, now I guess I'll just make that part one.

And now I have to try to upload the rest of it in another video. Because that happened to us in our one episode. Like, I tried, like, several times to upload it. And it would only do, like, 40-some minutes. Do you think it's the way we're doing it? No, I just think, I don't know. I just think YouTube is fucked. I think there's just something weird about it.

Or sometimes it'll, like, I'm only going to upload 20 minutes. Film camera that we's just something weird about it. Sometimes it'll like, I'm only gonna upload 20 minutes. How much is like a film camera that we can just get an SD card? Well, we have one. We have Lena's, but it's not. We just haven't been using it. I thought it didn't work.

I thought it wouldn't work the last time. It'll work. We just need an SD card for it. So we could try it maybe. I just, I don't know. But I don't know if that would make a difference. It's still just gigabytes of storage that have to be uploaded. I know.

I'm just saying that way we could have something. Why are we talking about this? I don't know. We're just having a conversation.'s what this podcast i just didn't know if it would help transfer it or if something's going wrong in like the air dropping process because that's how we get it you know i mean i don't know maybe if we plug something into the computer but here's the deal dude we air drop it onto my computer we and and then i put that in imovie and the whole thing is in there i can see it i can see the whole video is in there i'm lining up the audio for it yeah so i know it's

all in there so then youtube it's got to be because then whenever i i put our title clip and our you know our title screen and then our ending screen and then I get it all to where I want it and then I save that as a file on my computer so that whole thing is now just a mp4 file a video file and then I upload that to YouTube and then it will say like processing 1% 2% 2% and then i upload that to youtube and then it will say like processing one percent two percent two percent and then it'll only upload like 23 minutes it's like why you know what makes me sad what there's a video on youtube of a guy naring his ass that makes you sad naring his asshole and it has 50 million views and you got makes you wonder what you're doing

wrong you got two funny guys drinking beer shooting the shit liquid iv yeah liquid iv you got cats calling on table you got ants calling around you got one by fours holding up mic stands yeah like come on guys give us some fucking love out here. And meanwhile, this guy's posting a full five-minute-long video of him naring his asshole, and we can't even get our hour-long podcast to go up. Our child-friendly. Okay. Now do we have to talk about it for people that don't know? I just said.

All they know is that you just mentioned something about a guy naring his asshole. Full. Okay. Sphincter. Well, I heard from a different podcast and had to see for myself. There is a video that's on YouTube. I'm not going to name any names. But if you just look up nair video, you'll find it.

It's probably like the top search right now. Probably. There's a guy who was demonstrating how to Nair his butt. And Nair is like a hair removal cream type thing that you put it on hair. And then you just wipe it it and it just comes off um and he does it on his asshole um then it's on youtube youtube you know youtube youtube and it bam it's just right up front i mean he's just here's my asshole and ball sack and it's just right up front. I mean, he's just, here's my asshole. And ball sack.

And it's just right there. And I was like, whoa, holy shit. Oh my God. I mean, I had to search for myself for, you know, research purposes. And morbid curiosity is a son of a bitch. Dude, I tell you what. We were like quoting the video at work today. And Bryce was like, I think you guys have seen this video one too many times. And you just go, you're right.

I've seen the video. I was like, you're right. I've seen it at least once, so I have seen it too many times. And then, what did he say? He's like, so you watched till the very end? And I'm just like well no i just skipped around to the good part you know the times where he's showing his asshole it's the whole video on youtube then i mentioned that it's on youtube and it's got like 50 million views oh oh my god imagine some kid that's like my favorite streamer's name is neuer so i'm

gonna look up neuer video or something like i'm i'm thinking of a different name and he accidentally types in their video and he's like oh what is this misspells hair or like something like that that's close to it yeah yeah misspells it and then he's like oh what's this oh mom i need therapy balls and asshole yeah mom what is that mom why is it stowy god oh shit i get i can understand there's a lot of kids that don't have fathers out there where is this going

and they want to shave their butthole but they don't know how and rather than going up to your parent and be like, how do I

shave down there? You can just let this Asian guy on YouTube show you how to do it. And that saves a lot of awkwardness. But you don't want to leave it on for longer than five minutes. Yeah, otherwise it'll burn. And sting really bad. Because he did it on his armpits oh shit anyways the real kicker

is that there's also a video of him demonstrating how to shave his nuts now this is where i'd have to put my foot down because i can understand showing someone no no no no no no just sit down sit down um here let me pull my pants this is youtube so maybe um i can understand like demonstrating how to use a certain product. Given that it's in a certain area, good lord, why can't you... Okay, I'm stepping back. Even doing that, why can't you just be like,

okay, I'm going to do it on my forearm to demonstrate. Now just do that down there. I don't have to spread my asshole and show you. So I'm starting to think that he really just wanted to show his asshole. I don't get it. What's not to get? What's not to get? I don't understand how it's like instructional or like some kind of guide that it, I guess, technically passes as not being flagable or something.

I don't know. Because it's like educational. Like, I don't know well well and me and lena were talking about we well not talking about it but she said that it's what did you say again about it being demonetized how oh yeah he doesn't have ads on the video yeah but that's how they get that's how they get away with it because if you like say bad word or something in the youtube video and then pepsi finds out that their ad was on that they're gonna be like fuck no and youtube's gonna be like i'm sorry pepsi i'm sorry

we'll take it down immediately i sorry i i was thinking of because like some videos you watch they have their sponsor like and they'll they'll be they'll plug their sponsor and then i don't think youtube can unless it's like i'm talking about the ads before the video uh yeah yeah yeah you know how it's like like youtube yeah yeah there's nothing there's none of that but to be fair um i don't think he had any sponsors either like i said if he was sponsored by nair and those at those representatives we're like let's see how our golden boy is doing oh he really showed how to do that he really showed how to use that product He really showed how to use that product, didn't he? Went straight to it.

Anyways, back to the video that you were getting to talk about. I'm sorry. We were going down a rabbit hole. Yeah. Luckily, I could find it because there's no hair around it. All right. I'm quickly losing my voice, you're gonna have to uh in the other video he's talking about just talking about how to shave your nuts and he's just literally no intro it's just full frontal nudity yeah just and you don't

even see his face cock balls in bush he's talking and he's given the and he's given like the he just has a trimmer in his hand it's the cock balls and bush he's that he's given the introduction of the video and he's got his head cut off he started to have his a face it's I have his face on the screen it's not even, hey, what's up, guys? I'm Jake Paul, and on this video, I'm going to shave your nuts like a real, what is, Team 10 member. Jake Pauler. Isn't that such a cop-out for a nickname? I'm just going to take my name. Logan Paulers.

I'm just going to take my name and put an ER at the end. Like, at least with Logan, it was like, we're the Mavericks. Yeah. That was his thing. But Jake Paul was like, we're Jake Paulers. Yeah, Jake Paulers. It's just my name. But then you just make it your name, too.

Bitch. Bitch. Oh, shit. I'm going to pass the fuck out. I'm so delirious. I'm going to take a NyQuil and I'm going to fucking forget my name. I hope I do that when I get home. I'm fucking.

I'm beat. What else did I say at work today that was really funny yeah it's fine uh well you were talking about porn i don't but i don't think we want to talk about that too much oh you were saying some oh yeah we were how we were saying some crazy things that i don't think convention on the podcast. Or maybe we can. Fuck it. I don't know how we got on this topic. Fuck it.

You could put full frontal nudity. If I really want to, I could slap my cock around this table and we wouldn't get demonetized. We were talking about fellatio and I was like like have you ever got your balls sucked too hard we're going there and you're like yeah and i was like dude me too there was one one there was one where i was just like ow like that is too hard you're like yeah i had this girl that i swear she was trying to suck my balls through a straw i was like oh my god yeah that's probably too hard i was like like she was trying to like inhale it into her lung or something it's like jesus no and i go down this is straight this is straight out j Jake Gillen's mouth.

You mean she was trying to suck your nut through the pinhole. Wait, what was it? No. Through the eye of a needle? Yeah. And let me tell you, that's a small hole, so you've got to suck pretty hard. Oh, shit. On that note, you've only had two beers i thought you said you were doing the opposite of sober october by trying to drink as much as you can to get your tolerance up well yeah i'm not trying

to get fucking wasted on the pod though since when i can't be this is the first time i've ever been sober on the pod oh yeah i can't drink without my friend. Jesus Christ. Like that's ever stopped you. It does. Remember, um, I can't, I don't, I can't remember. You can ask her social media manager.

I do not drink alone. You just spilled on yourself. That was awesome. That was the best day of my life. Um, do you remember Camden at work when he was just like, I, we were like,

are you coming over to the fire pit? And he's like, he's like, yeah, I got a few beers in my fridge that I need to get rid of. And we're just like, why don't you just drink them? And he's like, I'm not going to drink alone. We both look at each other and just go. You have a lot to learn, young man. I'm not going to drink them alone.

That's just weird. We're just like yeah it's really fucking weird to drink alone holy shit you know how many beers i've drank by myself that's the best time to drink a beer when you're just relaxing by yourself god damn it fucking whole system's cocked now you're gonna have to go commando all right guys i think that's gonna do it um cam welcome back it's good to have you back yeah i'm excited to be back we've had technical difficulties on the last word if i see one comment anywhere that the guests were funnier than i am

um we've had technical difficulties on the last on the on the last two podcasts so i think you coming back is just as much as I hate to say it, I think you might just be the cornerstone of this podcast. I missed it. I really did. Well, I'm glad you're back. Follow us on Instagram. At GrassDaddy's Podcast.

At GrassDaddy's Podcast. Audio only on Spotifyify and apple podcasts and obviously on youtube um drop a comment let us know what you think let us know if there's something you want us to talk about if you're like hey why don't you ever talk about uh cantaloupes more you know just leave a comment guys i'm tired of all the sex talk and butthole talk and shit talk i guys i want you guys to do a podcast about grass. Yeah. Like, why don't you guys talk about grass?

Comments, questions, Q&As, whatever the fuck. Yeah. Like, enough with the dirty talk. Okay? Until next time, if you're going to nair your asshole, don't leave it on for more than five minutes. Watch out, Martin! I'll be back again and again

and again and again and again and again