Grass Daddies Podcast - Grass Daddies Podcast Episode 12: Trick or Treat [Candy Tier List]

Episode Date: October 17, 2023

In this episode of the Grass Daddies Podcast, the boys taste-test Halloween candies and rank them in a tier list. Things get a little heated as some very controversial ranking decisions are made. Follow us on Social Media! Youtube: grassdaddiespodcast Instagram: @grassdaddiespodcast @kamdenwellmann @jakekillham Tik Tok: @kandenwellmann (yes that's how it's spelled) @jakekillham11

I don't know. I'm gonna ruffle some feathers. If you put this above Snickers, I'm walking out of here. It's B. B tier. I'm fucking York. B tier. Get the fuck out of here.

Fuck you, Snickers. Dude! Welcome to the You Guys Really Aren't That Funny podcast. That's Cam, I'm Jake, and we are... The Grass Daddies. Yeah, get your hat on. Can't get that shade on the luscious mustache. Yeah, quit throwing shade. So, welcome to this very fall.

We're kind of doing a fall-themed episode here. Halloweener. It's about mid-October. We're going to be doing a candy tier list. We're going to be covering some of the staples that you might run across on Halloween. And got some football pulled up on my computer, but you can't watch that. I'm just kind of following the scores.

I'm not, this isn't like a live watch party situation. I've just got some action on some of these games that I want to keep up on. So, so, so yeah, let's just, well, before we start just smashing all this candy, we should probably do a little pre-convo, work our way up to it. As I was about to hit record, I could smell that. That's not apple cider. I know. It's fall theme, but that's not apple cider. I got this twisted tea whiskey.

I don't know if you guys have tried it if you guys have tried it i didn't think i'd seen it before i didn't think i'd seen it before when you pulled that bottle out it straight i don't like it so i tried a shot of it the other day and i put it on ice because it was hot i'm like there's no way there's no way this fucking whiskey's gonna taste good hot so I was like. What would taste good hot? I don't know. Nothing tastes good hot. Like lukewarm fucking crown apple tastes fine.

That's because crown apple is just amazing. But so I got this whiskey and I iced it down. And at first I took the first pull. I was like, God, this sucks. It's so fucking sweet. Just way too sweet. But then I was like, I let the ice melt in it. I'm like, hey sucks it's so fucking sweet just way too sweet but then i was like i let the ice melt in it i'm like hey that's a lot better so i tried this with whiskey and water and so it's a little bit better when you water it down yeah it kind of tastes well when i took

the shot of just a little bit of water it was just tasted like a twisted tea now i put an actual made an actual drink with it which is whiskey and water and now it just tastes like a twisted tea now i put an actual made an actual drink with it which is whiskey and water and now it just tastes like straight whiskey yeah it doesn't even taste like anything in it so it's a job done about it it's a job done um maybe we well because maybe we should crack into these and just talk as we're going because we're not just going to sit here and go yeah we can have stories about yeah um but before we do that i do want to this scar on my hand i wanted to tell you about that um so i don't know if you can see that i'm not i'm not throwing up gang signs i'm just trying to show between the lines i'm just trying to show the scar on my hand here. So they're not in here right now, but Lena and I have a couple cats and the big yellow one, Martin, is he's a bit of an enigma. he doesn't he doesn't like to pee or poop um in his litter box every time he needs to go um but when he was at the other house they had hardwood floors and he had no issues so

i don't know if he gets confused by the carpet and thinks it's litter and he thinks he can just go wherever or what. But now that he's started to pee where he's not supposed to, the whole basement kind of reeks. At least this hallway. Yeah. Kind of smells like cat pee. Anyways. Have you guys ever...

I also got to think about this the other day. Why he does it. But you remember when Cole's brother had his dog here, and he would get an upset stomach all the way down the hallway. Well, I don't know, because I don't think Martin is trying to mark his territory. I don't know. I don't know. Well, because they don't like when other animals come here, though.

They get super defensive. So I just didn't know if the smell from... But he's mean he's not worried about well okay so to combat the odor i thought about getting one of those automatic spray things yeah and setting it up um so we went to the store got one and set it for the longest interval which was like 32 minutes and every 32 minutes or so it would you know spray and it was actually helping quite a bit because like this basement was smelling a lot better yeah um but then we had it up for like a day and we noticed that that Martin was getting really like skittish, he was really jumpy, like I would sit down and nudge the coffee table and he would jump, and we came to the conclusion that it's that fucking air freshener sprayer we got set up,

he can hear it going every so often, and he doesn't know what the fuck it is. He can hear a noise coming from the basement. And I don't know if he's worried that there's someone down there or he's just hearing a noise and doesn't know what it is. And he's scared of the basement now. Yeah. Which is where all the litter boxes are that he doesn't always use. But we don't want him to start pissing upstairs and make the upstairs stink. Yeah. So I was like, well, I think it's just because he doesn't

know what it is so i'm just gonna take him to it so he can see that this is what's making the noise and then maybe he'll chill out and be like oh that's what the noise is coming from now i don't need to be scared so i picked him up walked downstairs took him over to the thing and pressed the button on top to make it go and it went and he fucking was flailing around and jumped out of my arms and sprinted upstairs and his fucking claw scratched me from here to here and it was like bleeding and i was like oh my god and so he was like that made it even worse so he was like terrified of the basement like he wouldn't go down there like lena tried bringing him down and setting him down he sprinted back upstairs so we were like now we have to teach him like how to be we have to like the basement we have to like

reteach him to not be scared of the basement so we took like an entire evening and we were like like retraining him on how to be okay in the basement yeah and we had to like take an entire evening with like treats and toys and motherfucker and get him to not be afraid of the basement anymore that's gonna smell like dp down here so hey i had to stop using the thing i got an idea for you okay since you guys have old vents that are like up in the top get car fresheners the ones you slide on your vent of your car freshener and just put them on the lowest setting so anytime your air conditioner or your heater's on it just blows just like your car that's a genius idea all right let's crack into some of these candies yeah let me crack my

dp first crack your dp What should we go with first? I think we should just... Should we start with these? Since these are just... You know, I feel like... Let's just start off with a good old Snickers. Because you can't go wrong with Snickers. It does satisfy.

So, for those of you unfamiliar with tier lists tier list it goes s is the top s tier and then it goes a b c d e f i don't know why there's an e in there but that's just the way it is all these hipsters out there that's what they decided um we couldn't find a pack with a snickers or twix in it well there were but we tried to get the most amount um for our dollars without getting a bag so i'm just gonna as you guys can see that walmart doesn't sell small bags of fucking candy i'm just gonna break some of this off yeah we got a lot to try i don't want to eat fucking so here we go snickers I mean come on you can't go wrong with snickers

yeah I'm gonna go this is gonna be a little bit of a mukbang episode for those of you waiting for a mukbang episode I'm gonna go candy mukbang we got our palate cleansers here I don't know For those of you waiting for a Mookbang episode. I'm going to go. Candy Mookbang. We got our palate cleansers here. I don't know.

I'm going to go with the Snickers. We've got three different drinks over there. I know. I'm still doing Sober October, so. I'm just worried also that the whiskey is going to change the flavor. Hey, just get some warm tequila, swish it around, open up your palate. Fuck that. Snickers, I'm going to go A.

I was going to say A. Actually, B. You're going B? B. So should we have a separate list for each of us? Sure. Yeah, and then we can go over how we rated them. Okay.

So I'm going to say A. I mean, I can't just put S for everything. And Snickers is obviously up there. Okay. So I'm going to do J. Something that would be S tier for me. It is a Snickers, but it's not a regular Snickers. It's the Almond.

So you're going B. B. Okay. Actually, A tier Snickers is the Almond Snickers. Snickers. Almond Snickers? Have you ever had Almond Snickers?

So now let's just follow it right up with a Twix. Are you a left Twix or a right Twix? I don't... Which one do you like more? I don't know. I'm going to go with the left.

Okay. So you can go with the right. Good. I love twix it's like the perfect amount of wafer chocolate and caramel twix is so good i think i would better I think Twix is S tier in my opinion so JK JK thicker than a snicker

Twix alright so yesterday was Friday the 13th fun fact and so lena and i watched the original friday the 13th 1980 and it was boring because so early on in that franchise, the movies were, I mean, 1980 horror movies were still new in 1980. Yeah. I feel like in 1980, sci-fi was like, dude. Because we watched Alien, the original Alien, which was...

Fuck, now I can't remember. Let's bust out all these different ones. Keep talking. Well, Jake here told me to watch a movie that he thought was... Oh, yeah, I have a bone to pick with you about this bullshit. That was absolutely terrifying, I have a bone to pick with you about this bullshit. That was absolutely terrifying, I guess. It's called The Taking

This one's unwrapped. This roller was unwrapped. I don't know if I want to It's called The Taking of Deborah Logan. So Jake told me this and we had a taco night with our neighbors,

and I was like, which we decided to watch it really late, because I was like, you guys know what we should do? So I'm having Bailey wanted to have a. They were advertising Rolo in this, and the only Rolo I found was the singular unwrapped Rolo. Oh, here they are. She wanted to she's wanting to have a fucking halloween party so she's like sam's gonna come over we're gonna get some stuff ready for the halloween party because bailey's got a lot of stuff going on with work and stuff so she wanted to get stuff done when she's not busy so rolo they came

over and rolls when i was a kid were fucking amazing but i gotta go i i like rolos but i'm gonna go see right down the middle you you know? I'm with you. A little chocolate, a little caramel, right down the middle. Anyways, so we had some leftover taco. We had some leftover browned hamburgers. We're like, you know what? We'll just throw a little bit of taco seasoning in there. You're telling such an elongated version of the story.

Make some tacos. And then nine fucking nine o'clock rolls around. I'm like, let's watch a movie. You watched it at 9 o'clock? Yeah, so we started watching Taking Endeavor, Logan. And everybody else there thought it was the most fucking terrifying movie. And I was just laughing. And this is what I have.

This is where I take issue with you. So, as we try this Kit Kat. So. what I have this is where I take issue with you so as we try this KitKat so yes right off the bat you're going s okay you can't go wrong with the KitKat cam KitKat I used to not really like Kit Kats that much. But I like Kit Kats a lot more now. I don't think they're as good as Snickers. I'm going to go B.

So. I told you to watch this movie called Taking of Deborah Logan. And it's about this lady who has Alzheimer's. That a PhD college student is going to study her case. But then she ends up being like possessed and all this shit unfolds. And it's a really creepy and disturbing movie. But Cam's like, dude, that movie was so hilarious. I was laughing.

The scariest part of the movie, he's like, I was dying laughing. And it kind of pissed me off because I was like, you need to give yourself over to the movie. I do. No, you don't. It's a scary movie. You're supposed to settle in and just like, what if all this stuff was happening to you? But I did get terrified. But the only thing was.

You got to give yourself over to the cinematic experience when when they're when he's in that room where he's going to hang the fucking uh the he has like this cross necklace and he's gonna go hang it on the window because the lady acts like somebody's like intruding in their house and so i was like that part was scary even though i knew right when he panned over that she was gonna be standing there gonna be there but i jumped but then when she started biting but a jump scare is a biological response but when she started biting the dude and like gets venom i'm like i don know. I don't know. I might have to watch it again, maybe. I don't know.

Heath Bar. Chocolate and Toffee. I'm just saying that when you're watching a scary movie, you need to give yourself over to the movie. If I really wanted to, I could just block out all the fear and be like, this movie's dumb. You're like, it's just not very real. I'm like, it's a fucking movie. If I really wanted to, I could just block out all the fear and be like, this movie's dumb. You're like, it's just not very real.

I'm like, it's a fucking movie. Of course it's not real. F. F? Yeah. You don't like Heath Bars? No. I think they're low-key pretty good. I don't think I've ever had one. You've never had a Heath Bar?

No, that's terrible. What? You better have some of that. I'm going to give... I mean, that's about as good to me as a Rolo. F. Maybe D. I'll give it a D.

I'll give it a D. I'll give it a D. I'll give it a D. I'll give it a D. I think we also need to have a movie night. Yes. You make a list of scary movies. Yes. And I make a list of scary movies. And we bring them up to each other and rate them.

How would you rate them? You already know which one them up to each other and rate them. How would you rate them? You already know which one's going to be on my S tier. It's a movie you showed me. I want to get a tattoo inspired by that movie. Oh my god. You're the most impulsive person I've ever met. No.

It's a pretty sick tattoo idea. Right? I haven't figured out what yet. But I want to get it. And then... I want to get it. And then have it like a line

between both of them. And then get the other one flipped. Because life is all a perspective, I think. Oh yeah? It's all the way somebody sees. Getting deep on me now. It's all the way how somebody sees life.

And in that show, well, not show, but in the movie, stuff starts to haunt them from their childhood, and then they keep going back, and stuff's flipped around and upside down, but it's all about how you see it. Yeah. Like how. It is kind of a movie about perspective.

That's what I'm saying. Like something that has to do with like perspective and it's like whether you see the world negative or positive. Yeah. Perspective. All right. You want to pick out the next one? Milk duds. Milk duds next one? Milk duds? Milk duds are good.

Milk duds are good. I would say milk duds are kind of like the cousin to Rolo. It's chocolate and caramel. It's the same thing, just in a little turd form. A little ball. A little dud. A little dud. Milk duds taste so much better than Rolos.

But it's the same thing. Right? You want two? Sure. little dud a little dud that tastes so much better than rollers but it's the same thing right too sure two little duds in my mouth swiping around a little bit much chewier though so maybe i use a different kind of caramel A. You're not really analyzing much. You just pop it in your mouth, take two chews, and you're like, A, F, C. What are you thinking? Is it bringing back any childhood memories? Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Wait, you said A? A. A. Okay. Okay. These aren't hitting very much for me. I like them, but they're not hitting that much for me. They're pretty simple. Okay.

My one thing about Milk Duds is you have two of these boxes and that's good for me so that's eight yeah because four come in each box i'm gonna say real quick i'm gonna say d they're about the same level as heath for me yeah at least right now i have a lot of memories with milk duds though i put milf on it milf duds i'm right now it's esther esther baby let me get a milf dud over here but i don't know dudley do milf i don't know milk duds are just... You got your trash bag over there? Yep.

Milk duds... I don't know. They're just... They taste good. It's chocolate and caramel. How does it taste bad? Which... But you ranked Rolo a...

We ranked Rolo's a C. It's the same thing. It's the same thing. It's the same contents. I don't know. I think there's a lot more chocolate with Rolo. Yeah. And I'm not a huge chocolate sweet guy. Like if I'm going in, I'm like, man, I want to.

Like sweet and salty? If I want like a sweet, I'm gonna go grab like Skittles or like Dummy Worms or something like that. You know what I mean? I can't think of the last time I had a Baby Ruth. I don't know, the last time I had one I threw it

in the pool. It's so funny. That was a little Caddys Shack reference for you guys. It's almost like, it's like a, it's like a dry Snickers. It's like a dehydrated Snickers. It's pretty good though I give that I give that a B You ranked Snickers You ranked Snickers A B

Can I move it? Sure C You want Snickers C? Babe Ruth B Whoa We're getting controversial out here Dude I don't C. You want Snickers C? Babe Ruth B. Whoa! We're getting controversial out here. Dude, I don't...

I don't know what it is. I like a Babe Ruth because... You want Snickers or you want Snickers C? And I'm putting Babe Ruth B. But I put Snickers A. Well, this is kind of contradicting of me. This is kind of contradicting of me. This is kind of contradicting of me but I don't really like a Snickers

because it sticks to your teeth so bad. Okay, so yeah, that could be an arguing factor. If you like Snickers but you don't like how much it sticks to your teeth get a Baby Ruth because it's just like a dry Snickers and it won't stick to your teeth. Which is controversial for me because

this is why we're doing it this is important research it's kind of contradicting of me because I just said milk duds and you just bite milk duds A milk duds B no you said A yeah you just bite into a fucking caramel

alright with this topic we had a lot of sweets let's break it up really quick as a little kid running around the neighborhood on halloween night in your outfit or whenever you did trick-or-treating was there that one house that one house where they gave you full-size okay bars there was a house around the block that gave out the full-length pixie sticks the big ones and so we knew we were gonna go to that house and see if they still gave you know the the just yeah like three feet long and then you're just sugar and then your mom's like sugar god damn it did you go over to charlie's house again you know pixie

stick was kind of onto something because they're like, well, they're wanting sugar. Let's just give them fucking sugar. Let's just skip all the bullshit. We don't have to machine peanuts and caramels together. We'll just give them a fucking thing of sugar. A tube of it. We just got to take some... It's what they want.

We got to take some half-inch poly, crimp the end, and just pour it full of sugar. This candy right here, I think, is always controversial. Because I feel like people who like them love them, and people that don't like them are like, I hate crunch. Yeah. I feel like I know people that love them, people that are like... I don't want anything to... Get that out of my face. Get that thing out of here.

Okay, anyways. So, yesterday was Friday the 13th. We went to... Lena and I got canes for dinner. And the total was $26.66. That's sketchy. $6.66. That's sketchy. 666. And then, on the way

home, our neighbor's black cat was outside, and I was like, ooh. Maybe I shouldn't put any bets down tomorrow. But! I was like, let's get all the bad luck out of the way now, and I'm gonna be 100% on my bets tomorrow. Let me eat this.

Crunch bar. Chocolate and what is it? Crisped rice. Creamy milk chocolate. I'm gonna go. It's okay for me. I mean.

With that one. What are you thinking? I'm gonna go. God go god dude this is really making me retract my statement about snickers i don't know how i feel about it again i don't know how i feel about snickers are you thinking about this is better than snickers yeah what will you give me my lid? How can you think this is better than Snickers? I don't know, man. It's definitely not better than Snickers.

I don't know, man. This is my list. This is your list. I don't know. This is just kind of one of those middle-of-the-road candy bars. Because why would you eat one of these when you could eat a Snickers? You know what I mean? Why would you choose this over anything but if it's that and you have this or your minds in the wrong place we're doing Halloween candy you don't have a choice

I get that it's something that's in your bag and it's just like well I'm not going to not eat it yeah but but and same token, if you have all the other choices in your bag, that's gotta be... I'm gonna give it... You know, I'm gonna... You know what? I'm gonna give it... I'm gonna... I got a hot take.

I'm gonna give it a C. I got a hot take. I'm suing Snickers. I think it's about as good as a Rolo. It's about as good as a Rolo. I got a hot take. I'm suing Snickers. Why?

What do you mean? Because they fucking lie. Snickers does not satisfy. So you're feeling very unsatisfied with Snickers right now. To the point where you're angry with Snickers. I've got a personal vendetta against Snickers. Whoa. I hope the mic picked up all the pronunciations of that word because...

Moving on. After tasting the Snickers... Hurry up and say what you want to say. And tasting all these other candies, it's just not it. Okay, okay, so what are you thinking? Walk me through it. Right now you've got Snickers at a C. That's criminal.

Dude, it might be a D. I'm not shitting you. Just tell me. Where do you want Crunch? You can leave Snickers where it's at. Let's go C. I'm going to rate Crunch above Snickers, but on the C. If I'm craving in the c category

though so you're saying a you're just you think this is just as good as a snicker yeah okay so we both think that it's a c but i'm just saying like snickers is just like i don't know i feel like i was lied to now you know what we should have got a twing bing. Here. Ooh. Those are good. Now let's have a hundred grand. Because it's milk chocolate, the crunch, and caramel. So it's just like a crunch, but adding caramel. I don't know if I've ever had a hundred grand. This is one of the candies that Lena and I on our podcast talked about. This was like in our top five.

You guys have a podcast? Not episodes. We went on. I on our podcast talked about this was like in her top five episodes when you're being a little pussy Kansas is up to Oregon is down three South Carolina's up. They're covering. Okay. Mmm. I like that. I like that a lot. Do I like it more than Baby Ruth? 100 gram. I'm going to say this i i don't love it i don't know if i can put irons in the snickers or maybe on this i don't know if i can put on the same level

i like it but i'm gonna give it a b i'm gonna go b tier 100 grand yeah put me down i like i think b is good okay i'm gonna that's a good spot i'm gonna say this about 100 grand yeah put me down i like i think b is good okay i'm gonna that's a good spot i'm gonna say this about 100 grand taste amazing yes but i don't know if i could do a full size candy bar of it it's so it's so rich so rich and so chewy you know what i mean like my jaw was getting tired from having this size. God forbid you try anything bigger. I'm going to get locked jaw. As your grandpa would say,

bite my ass, get locked jaw, I'll drag you to death. Or was that your dad? Who was it? My grandpa. My dad got it for my grandpa butter finger now there's another one Lena and I talked about so good so good only good but craving it gets stuck in your teeth mm-hmm fucking sucks. But it's so good. If you're a peanut butter lover and a crunch lover like me, I think that's why I love it so much.

I love crunch and I love peanut butter. All right. But for the stuck in the tooth factor, I can't go S, so I'm going to go A. Butterfinger is an A tier candy for me. Even with the teeth. Okay. What are you thinking? Mine's a C tier, and I will explain why.

You might ruffle a few feathers with that one. I will explain why. It's not that it's not good. The taste, A tier. a tier taste definitely a terrorist a a terrorist a terrorist a tier taste come on but see look look but it's in there a butterfinger is only good when you're craving it. If somebody was like,

Hey dog, I got a butterfinger. Yo dog. And I wasn't in the mood for it. You want some butterfinger dog? And I wasn't in the mood for it. I don't know. It just,

it wouldn't get the spot. But if you were craving it and he's like, Hey bud, you want a butterfinger? And you're like, yo, hit me with that Butterfinger, mate. So Reese's Pieces, I suppose we'll try it. It's not really a, because we have a Reese's, but we have it here, so we might as well try it.

Pieces. And speed up our diabetes. Reese's Pieces are good But why would you have those When you could just have a Reese's In my opinion they're an unnecessary candy B? What the fuck is wrong with you Actually no

Stand by your belief If you're gonna go b-tier for reese's fucking pieces you die on that hill my middle name is after fucking this candy okay but what about a normal reese's no oh this the reese's pieces himself my mom when she's pregnant with me is craving reese's reese's pieces that's how's how I got my middle name. And that explains a lot. Just hit my tooth on my mic stand. Nah, C tier. C tier.

I told you. You gotta die on that hill. I gotta go C tier. Okay. Because. I think it's just unnecessary candy. The thing I like about Reese's Pieces is the crunch. Yeah, okay.

The texture of the just. But that's why. If I'm going, if I got, if I'm like, man, I'm really craving Reese's. I'm going and I'm getting the Reese's Sticks. I'm going to go D. I'm going and I'm getting the Reese's Sticks. I'm gonna go D. I'm gonna go D. I was thinking about going E, but they do taste good. I just think they're unnecessary

compared to Reese's. Yes, we went through all of those. So next is those, and then we'll finish it off with the sweet. With the sweet, well, the more candy style. You need dad to open that for you if you explode that and candy goes everywhere there you go

pieces pieces so while you're getting that out, let's do a recap. Yeah. S tier. We agreed that Twix is S tier. You think Kit Kat is S tier. Oh. Jake. Man, Reese's Pieces are fucking terrible.

I'm just trying to get rid of them. It takes a handful of them. A tier. I said Snickers. You said Milk Duds. I'm just trying to get rid of them. It takes a handful of them. A tier. I said Snickers. You said Milk Duds. I said Butterfingers. B tier. I said Kit Kat.

Do I have anything as S tier? Yes, we agreed on Twix as S tier. Oh, yeah. B tier. I said Kit Kat. We both said Baby Ruth, And we both said Hunter Grant Okay C tier

We both said Rolo You have Snickers Did I give you your old peppermint patty? I have We both have Crunch You have Butterfinger And Reese's Pieces On C tier

D tier I have Heath Milk Duds And Reese's Pieces on C tier. D tier, I have Heath, Milk Duds, and Reese's Pieces. Nothing on E, and you put Heath all the way down on F. Nice stand-by. So that's... You feel good about that.

Can we just get this fucking Almond Joy out of the way? We can have the Almond Joy. So you hate coconut. I don't mind it. I'm gonna try it. And I like almonds. I'm not gonna rate it before I try it. Look at that.

One little almond just sitting in there. Look at that. Looks like a little turd that got covered up. Mmm. are you like trying not to gag or something you hate coconut that much Fucking F. F? Like, I... Like, my body wants to like it, but I fucking hate it. So bad. Okay. F straight out the gate for Cam. Fuck that.

Fuck Coconut. Fuck Malibu. I mean, it's just one of those where it's like... Everyone hates it, but it's not that bad. It's like a fucking... Bailey likes some stupid-ass fucking Kinder Buenos. I'll go above F. I'll put them at E.

They're not a good candy. I mean, let's be honest. I wouldn't take them over Reese's Pieces or Milk Dut or Heath. But they're not F. I don't think they're... I don't think they deserve to not be on the list. Honest to God, if I'm being dead serious, I would take a fucking almond oil over a Heath bar. I'm not even shitting you.

And I hate coconut. So, I mean, it's already on that. Yeah, I know. I'm just saying. I'm just saying. Okay, do you want to cleanse your palate with some York? Clean it out with some mint? Yeah, let's clean these sinuses. This isn't really a staple candy, but it was just in one of the variety packs, so we're going to eat it. Yeah, some people might have begged it ever.

York. What it feels to chew five gum. Refreshing. And then you go. It didn't really do that much It's um It's kind of just like It's like If you want to feel like you brushed your teeth

While eating candy at the same time, then a little York and they're called patties, aren't they? York Patty. That's E. I don't know. I'm going to ruffle some feathers.

If you put this above Snickers, I'm walking out of here. It's B. B tier. I'm fucking York. B tier. Get the fuck out of here. Fuck you, Snickers. Dude!

What is wrong with you? What is wrong with you? Your mouth is broken. York! You put a York at... Hold on, that's A. It's named York It's the same name as a fucking small town in Nebraska Dude

It's fucking good Alright you know what Next time we go to the gas station You're like man I'm kind of craving a Butterfingers I'm going to be like, nope, you're getting a York. I'm not going to let you get it. I'm not. You're not allowed to get a Rolo, a Snickers, a Crunch, a Butterfinger, or Reese's Pieces.

You have to get a York instead. You asshole. York. Oh, my nose is so runny. Fucking York. I'm gonna go... E. Again, it's...

It's not the worst candy in the world, but why would you eat that when you have a Reese's Pieces? Or Milk Dud? York. Hang on. I need to... York. Motherfuck. milk dud york york get your chair set back up i did get a tissue all right well cam's gonna tissue let's check on some of these games because you know when it's

fall time fall time is football time so let's take a look at some of these scores. Oh, let's go, baby. Oregon just scored again. 33 to 29. South Carolina just scored. That's huge. They're up by 10. I've got I've got a parlay going between three games. I've got Kansas over Oklahoma State, Washington, I've got Oregon over Washington, and I've got South Carolina over Florida. So, so far I've got two of my three teams covering the spread, and it's at a commercial right now, but let me take a look. Kansas is down four, and they need to score bad. And there's two and a half minutes left.

So I'm clinched up a little bit over here. I'm going to try not to cut anything, but I might have to watch some of this because it's coming down to the wire. I've got Kansas. Kansas. Uh-oh, Kansas is minus two and a half. So, they need to win by three and they're down by four with two and a half to go yeah they need to score a touchdown now if I want my parlay to hit fuck all right you get your fucking snotty nose wiped yeah you little snot nose shithead kid all right can we can we come back to reality real quick and

add some real candy and give them a real official rank? Yeah. Let's pop this here Reese's into our mouth. Oh, you're going Hershey's. Okay, we're going Hershey's. I see Jake grabbing the Reese's. I'm going to open the Hershey's so probably probably the just a grandfather of candy bars because it's just a chocolate bar that's all it is chocolate just chocolate that's all it is just chocolate just chocolate just chocolate just chocolate and a blow job i mean it's good. E tier. E?

Again. You're so concerned. You're not giving any analysis. You're not... I'll tell you why. I just mentioned... The way it melts in your mouth and covers your tongue. It's a great taste. It's very basic, but the taste is there.

All right. It's a good candy. You want me to plead my case? I'm going a good candy. You want me to plead my case? I'm going to go C. You want me to plead my case? It's middle of the road, not horrible, but pretty good. I'll plead my case. I'm going C.

You're going E? E. You put York B, and you're putting Hershey's E. Yeah. You've got some explaining to do. Let me plead my case. Like I said, I'm not a huge chocolate sweet guy. Like, I don't really like chocolate.

But what does every other candy have that Hershey's doesn't? I would rate it an F. But it goes good on s'mores so can't rate it an F because I like s'mores well we're not eating s'mores we're eating a Hershey's yeah but there's just something

about just straight chocolate that I just is boring yeah I just can't can't get into it like even like a fucking stupid fucking Snickers I just... It was boring? Yeah, I just can't... Can't get into it. Like, even like a fucking stupid fucking Snickers has... You're offending a lot of people. Has a little bit of a nut in there.

That's because there's peanuts in there. That's what I'm saying. Or are you talking about like nothing in your mouth? No. That's far from what a Snickers does. If anything, Snickers gives me a fucking raging softy. It gives you a raging softy. Yeah.

It does the complete opposite of what it should. Okay, well, here's another. Mac Daddy Candy. Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. I'm going whole cup. cup whole cup I might say it I might say it don't say it that tastes like anal feels that is good. That is a fuck. Kansas just fucking gave the ball away.

I think it's over. Fuck. Life goes on. That's an S tier candy. Go an S? Yep. Yeah. Yeah. that's an S tier candy go an S yep um yeah yeah we agree on that

okay like I said earlier PB cup like I said earlier that is an S tier candy you give me a Reese's stick I'm gonna nut what is a Reese's stick so it's like what is that you know like the like vanilla wafers that come like this brick

you know i'm talking about that like the waffle like looking ass cracker oh yeah yeah yeah yeah it's like that but with chocolate around it and peanut butter i know what you're talking about they've made so many variations of reese's the fast break the fucking there was a take five reese's dude and then they make the fucking reese's peanut butter cups the big ones like yeah full of reese's pieces it's like yeah it's like you're just eating your tail at this point you're like a snake eating itself you're just fucking yeah yeah just like deborah logan um you're like that was so funny and i'm like dude that's supposed to be the scariest part of the fucking movie you're like dude i was dying so bad we watched a we watched a youtube video about a guy who had a terrifying

case of sleep paralysis supposedly he didn't even know if that's what it was but he encountered a scary ass fucking entity and it would be scarring and torturous to most if they were to experience that and the video ended and cam goes dude i just wish that would happen to me i'm like what you're like dude i haven't had a scary good scary dream in a while and you're like this is stuff people don't want to have happen and you're like I want it dude okay I love it I'm at the point in my life where my sleep

is at 20 years old my sleep is so shitty that I actually am striving to have a nightmare so I know I'm sleeping like I wake up what do you mean like you don't know if you're sleeping yeah I think i might just be awake all night but my eyes are closed i don't know i really don't know that's you might need to see someone for that like is that good i know i'm sleeping but i wake up and it's not like i haven't had one of them

sleeps where you wake up and you're like, oh my fucking god. Like, I feel so relieved. Like, I wake up and feel more tired. Like, I didn't go to bed. Well, you might not be hitting your sleep cycles. That's what I'm saying. It is like, it's more important to get, oh, these are in here. Yeah. That, yeah.

Split one of those now I've seen I've seen lists of people doing candy taste tests and they didn't really have any of these on there how many different things are in here all the sweet tarts oh where are the sweet tarts this is my bag right now there's something yeah you this is your kind of candy that you like i don't see any sweet tarts there's no way they didn't give us any sweet tarts. I want to be livid. Yeah, you go through that. Okay. Well, that's one way to find them.

There we go. Sweet tarts, gummy worms, nerds, Laffy Taffy. Nerd cluster, gummy worms. And gummy worms. So, gummy worms. And gummy worms. So, gummy worms? Gummy worms. A classic gummy candy. Look at that.

They're tiny. They're little guys. Little inchworm. Little silkworm. Hey, we're talking about, we're rating candy, not my dick. It's not over yet. It's not over yet. They need to score a touchdown.

I mean, you can't go wrong with a sour gummy worm. Everyone loves sour gummy worms. Don't pop. You just pop all those in your mouth, you're going to get sick. We've had so much candy so far. I know, my tummy hurts. So what are you thinking? I'm going to say that's a solid B.

That's a solid B for me. That's a solid B. And I don't think most would argue with that. If you want to know what you... You can ask me and I'll tell you what you've put for some of these. It's definitely above Snickers. What you put at C. Is it higher than B?

Is it higher than York? That's an A tier. Trolley's an A tier. A tier. I would put S tier, but I'm a Haribo guy. Okay. Not a trolley. Haribo.

Trolley! Okay. Eat the rest of those later. Should we go nerd clusters? Let's go Laffy Taffy. Laffy Taffy. We got two nerds here, and we got two different candies. So I think we go Laffy Taffy, nerds, sweet tart, nerds.

Ended on the clusters, yeah. Now, for some of these, it might depend on which flavor you get. Hey, what did the gangster say to Julius Caesar? Um, run your pockets. She was running

numbers. You are my Rome boy. That's kind of racist all right Laffy Taffy come on step up your jokes I need some dark humor jokes like Jesus fuck yeah like I don't know make it interesting. Throw in some edgy humor. Sorry I'm focused on this game that I'm about to lose. Laffy Taffy is good and again It might depend on which flavor you get

Yeah Because there's a bunch of different flavors Like I had the strawberry one Which is probably one of my favorites And with that I'd probably put it Mmm I'd probably put it at a D.

It's not amazing. Leaners home. Not amazing. I mean, you could, you could, there's so much more to choose from. It's, I'm, yeah, I'm putting it down there with Almond Joy, York. No, no, no. Heath, Milk Dud, Reese's Pieces. I think, I think I'm think I'm good with that.

Laffy Taffy, D-Tier. What are you thinking? Don't say S or some bullshit. And don't put it... I know you like Laffy Taffy. Not just the song, but the candy itself. Tick, tock, laffy, taffy. That's my shit

y'all don't want to see me hit the girk neither do i where do you want it it just it's not a life or death decision. Yeah, it is. Laffy Taffy. What flavor did you have? Cherry. Cherry. It's B. B tier?

I'm going to go with B. It's the same thing as a Butterfinger. It's the same thing as... It's the same thing as Butterfinger. Gummy Worms. That's what you put. I put Gummy Worms? No, I put Gummy Worms. You put Gummy Worms A.

Yeah. So you want it's the same thing as a like butterfinger like if you're craving it you're craving it if you're not it's not gonna taste as good you know what i mean no i mean straight up plain out nerds you fucking nerd straight up nerds get 360 no scoped you fucking nerd yeah what he said a little asmr should we asmr Hold on, let me get my mouth. Oh God. All right. Nerd. Great Great nerd. I'm going to need to see a... I might need a blood transfusion. I'm eating so much sugar. Why did we have energy drinks before this?

We're just eating straight sugar. I was sitting on the couch. My face was all pins and needles. That's better than Laffy Taffy. I put that at C. That's a motherfucking S tier. Nuh-uh. Yeah.

Dude, you're ruining this list. How? I mean, it's your list. By the way, my parlay died. Kansas lost? Kansas lost. And I think my other games are going to hit, which is fucking disappointing. I thought for sure Kansas lost.

You're putting nerds at S? S tier. Nerds are so good. Just regular nerds. C. Nah. C. Nah.

Nerds. C. C. Well, now we're going to have nerd clusters, and I think those are better than nerds. I don't know. Sweet tarts. Can't go wrong. Oh, fucking sweet tart. Little sweet tart.

What even is a sweet tart? It's like chalk. It's like sugary chalk. I feel like you could ride on the sidewalk with it. I do kind of like sweet tarts though. I don't know if I like them more than Nerds. Mmm. I don't know if I like them more than Nerds. Mmm. I don't know.

I do like sweet tarts, though. So good. I think, um... I'm a sweetheart for sweet tart. Yep. That. You have such a way with words, my friend. Your delivery is just, you are such a good broadcaster. You got Young Pasty on the track.

You're not pasty. I am Slim Pasty. That's my rap name, Slim Pasty. I think I'm going to move nerds down to D. I'm moving nerds down to D. And I'm going to move nerds down to D. I'm moving nerds down to D. And I'm going to put sweet tarts at C. I'm just being honest with myself because... Well, since you're moving something, I got something to admit.

Eating all these candies, I don't think Snickers deserves what I gave it. It's at C! Are you being for real or are you just doing this for the meme? No, I'm being deadass. You want to take a bite out of Snickers again? To reevaluate? Now that it's been this long. Because I just want you to be clear-headed.

If you're going to make another move, I want you to be clear-headed. I'll take another. You're not yourself when you're hungry. Sponsored by... No. Yeah, fuck that. That's F. You're so dumb.

No, after all these games... You can't move it to F. Yeah, I can. I'm writing a fucking shitty heat... You're gonna... What? I'm writing a heat bar above a fucking Snickers. Are you sure?

Yeah. You're crazy. Dude. I don't know if we can be friends anymore. This is bullshit. I don't know what it is. This is... This is bullshit. I don't know what it is. This is... I have come to the...

You like being a rebel. You like being different. Dude, but... Scary movies make me laugh. I don't like Snickers. Dude, but you saw... Are you AI? Are you an AI?

Like, are you not real? You give me an almond Snickers right here, that's S tier. All it is is swapping the peanuts for almonds yeah there's something about but yet you put an almond joy at a f it's got coconut in it yeah snickers and almond joy is definitely on the same level this is one of the only reasons why i'm friends with this guy because he makes my life so exciting because i don't know what is ever gonna come out of his fucking mouth he could wake up one day he could wake up one day and decide that he wants to be an artist and then the next day I hate art and uh I want to be a dog trainer. And I'm going to be like,

why? And you'll be like, I watched a YouTube video where this guy trains dogs, and I think it's cool. So I'm going to become a dog trainer. And I'm just like, literally nothing in my life has even changed since the last time I even saw you. All right. Coming right up on an hour

last candy these are like relatively new these are bomb nerds gummy clusters are bomb so it's like it's like a nerd rope if a nerd rope pooped. We had to include poop talk somewhere here. Or if a nerd rope jizzed. If a nerd rope and another nerd rope fucked and they had little babies, it'd be these. Because there's just little clusters of licorice. It's more like jizz. With nerds on them.

Which are a hundred times better than just plain nerds. So, maybe not a hundred times better than just playing nerds so maybe not a hundred times then I put nerds at D yeah I these are better than gummy worms I'm going a I'm going a yep not s that's got to be specially reserved. But, nerds, clusterfucks. These things can clusterfuck in my mouth anytime they want, and I would welcome it. Clusterfuck in my mouth, boys. Please don't clip that. Please don't clip that out don't clip that out you're the editor

someone else oh you mean don't cut it don't fucking no I mean like don't take it out and like post we have like four listeners I'm not worried about that I'm gonna post it okay he's saying have a cluster

I'm not gonna say it again no no no I'm not gonna about that. I'm going to post it. Okay. He's saying have a cluster... I'm not going to say it again. Have a clusterfuck again. No, no, no. I'm not going to give him any clean audio. I don't want the clean audio clip. I think there's some laughing over the last one. I'm not saying it. That's a motherfucking S tier, baby.

You're going S tier? If you did plain nerds... Motherfucking S tier, baby. You think these are the same as plain nerds on the same rank you've got some hot takes my friend yeah by the way fuck Snickers don't say that

don't say that don't say it don't touch it alright well there's one thing that's on this list but I want to get your opinion on it Jolly Ranchers they're good they're pretty good

where do you put them on the list they don't have to go on the list but where do you put Jolly Ranchers I'd probably put I'd probably put

like a B alright that's respectable I'd probably put like a B. Alright, that's respectable. I'd probably put like a B. Alright, let's go down the list here. Our final list, and I think maybe we'll put this out. Maybe we'll have Bailey post this. Or maybe we'll post like a little... I see you over there grimacing. it's so fucking bad i would try it if i could

drink this month but i'm not we'll post this on our instagram but pisses me off for those of you that don't want to look i'll read off our candy tier list final submission s tier submission. S tier. Twix for both of us. Kit Kat for you. Reese's Peanut Butter Cup for both of us. You put nerds and nerd clusters. S tier candies. S tier.

A tier candies. I say Snickers. Cam says Milk Duds. I say Butterfingers. Cam says Gummy Worms. And I say Nerd Clusters. A tier candies. Those are good candies. Not the very typity top, but those are fucking great candies.

Cannot go wrong with those. Other candies you can't go wrong with, B tier. I said Kit Kat. We both said Baby Ruth, the dry Snickers. You said, we both said 100 grand. You said York. Still don't know how that one squeaked up there. I said gummy worms and you said Laffy Taffy.

Great candies. They're up there. Obviously stuffed better, but they're up there. They have their reasons for being there. C tier. Yep, they've claimed their spot and they they deserve it c tier we both said rolo we both said crunch you say butterfinger um you say reese's pieces i say hersey's and sweet tarts those are your middle of the line

candies those are wouldn't be disappointed to have them. Wish I had something better, but these are doing just fine. I don't know if you told me. You never told me, Sweet Tarts. Fuck. That's A tier. Sweet Tarts get all around. Bailey really likes the chewy ones, and I also

like the chewy ones. That's fair. Sweet Tart. D D tier you can't you remember going to a basketball game and you're like mom can I have 50 cents for a big sweet tart sucker that you just chew off and she's like no no I'm just kidding oh yeah one of those like the little ass ones yeah okay d tier moving down the list here i said heath and milk duds and you had no d tiers this is all me i said i've got heath milk duds reese's pieces laffy taffy and nerds so So those are down there. Not my go-to candies. But, you know, they're not the worst thing in the world. But I prefer not to have those.

Moving down to E tier. I have Almond Joy and York. And you have Hershey's. That's down there. That's a Mac Daddy candy bar and it's down there for you. It's just too much chocolate. I'm not just like a plain chocolate guy.

So these are... These are... Don't like these. Don't want them. Not the worst thing. Yeah. But they're not the worst. The in the foot yeah um but they're not the worst the worst candies the f tier which i don't have any f tiers oh my god you know what i just realized what we didn't even get milky ways true or three musketeers again we we got variety packs we tried to go

for a quantity we gotta put milky way in three museteers. We've got to get a bar for the next podcast. And we've got to rate them. Okay, we'll throw them on. Because I feel like those are Mac Daddy candies, too, of the candy world. Okay, okay. F tier. Bottom of the barrel candies here. Bottom of the pillowcase.

I forgot. Cam has three on here. I don't have any F tears. Heath, Almond Joy, and Snickers. Are you fucking shitting me? I stick by my statement. These are... Snickers, if you want to make me like you, sponsor this episode.

So we're blackmailing snickers into sponsoring us now um i'm just kidding but stickers i just i don't know i don't i don't know how what it is i don't i just don't know i love candy um so do you i'm i think it's fitting that i didn't have an f tier on there because when it comes down to it i really don't dislike any candy i'd be happy with eating any of this anytime but there you have it and the candy tier list ranked let me clear this up i did over exaggerate when i'd take a heath bar over a fucking stickers i would not take a heath bar over a snickers i i was just thinking about that and then the heath bar so if there was a g tier for god damn get that out of my face the heath bar i was thinking about all the candies

we've tasted and the heath bar was the one that came back to my taste buds i'm like that is fucking god awful it's just chocolate and shit that gets stuck in your teeth. Last thing you want is chocolate and shit stuck in your teeth. Let me tell you. So there you have it, folks. Candy tier list on this fall-themed, Halloween-themed episode. Next week, I don't know what we're going to do. I still want to tell some scary stories type of deal. I don't know when we're going to do that.

Because we've still got a couple October episodes to do. But I think that's going to do it. Follow us on Instagram and all that good shit. Audio only on Spotify and Apple Podcasts. Kids, don't forget. Find your local house in your neighborhood that gives you full-size pixie sticks. Go out there. Get a sugar rush. that gives you full-size pixie sticks. Yep. Go out there, get down that motherfucker,

and then go get more candy and keep eating candy until that night you just pass out from a sugar high. Yep. And until next time, building off of that, until next time, if you find someone in your neighborhood

that gives you fucking fruit or canned goods, go back and egg their fucking house