Grass Daddies Podcast - Grass Daddies Podcast Episode 22: Merry Christmas!

Episode Date: December 26, 2023

In this episode of the Grass Daddies Podcast the boys exchange gifts and talk about some of their favorite holiday memories and traditions. SHANKITGOLF.COM Code:grass Follow us on Social Media! Youtube: grassdaddiespodcast Instagram: @grassdaddiespodcast @kamdenwellmann @jakekillham Tik Tok: @kandenwellmann (yes that's how it's spelled) @jakekillham11

He's squeezing hard. He's squeezing with both hands, even though it's only in the left. You can just squeeze as hard as you can to release, and it'll just tell you what the peak was. 96.2. It says I'm weak. Ha ha ha ha ha! Welcome to the It's the Holiday Season and Cam is a Bitch podcast. How long have you been working on that one? I just came up with it. That's Cam, who's a bitch, and I'm Jake, and we are... Who's a bitch.

Okay. Grass daddies. That's totally fair. You know what? We should have hung a mistletoe above here so that we could just say um we should have got a little miniature christmas tree and put it on the black oh we should have we should have but we didn't so yeah we'll edit one inch maybe the magic mini fridge will just grow one out of it just maybe yeah one out um thanks for tuning into this lovely

uh festive you know what we just we didn't even mean to do this i wore red and you're wearing green holiday yeah those are christmas colors um thanks for um tuning into this holiday episode. Yeah, as you guys can tell, I'm still wearing my work clothes. Hey, that's okay. And I don't look like I just came from work, but I probably smell like it. I feel a little bit greasy, too. I'm going to go get some Christmas shopping done. Yeah. We're leaving to go home for Christmas tonight.

Yep. We got to pack. I did not have time to go home for Christmas tonight. Yep. We got to pack. I did not have time to go home. And we are planning on recording a double episode, a.k.a. we're going to go, try to go like twice as long as we normally do, and then probably split it up and do an hour and an hour. Welcome to our Christmas mega episode.

Yeah, welcome to the mega holiday extravaganza. Of the Grass Daddies. And I don't know if I'm going to put echo over that or not. The Grass Daddies holiday special. Oh, boy. So, I don't know. I have quite a few things written down that I want to talk about. But I got to tell you about the dream I had last night.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, because this isn't Christmas themed, and I want to kind of go a little Christmas themed on this episode. So last night I had a dream. I dream about work frequently. I don't know how healthy this is. But it's, you know, it's on my mind a lot. It's where I spend, like, the majority of my life.

So it's only natural, I feel like like that you should dream about work yeah well i had a dream that we were all out behind um like the nga and um and it was gavin who was on a sidewinder mowing around it yeah and he was not there was a like a shit ton of balls all around the green and he did not give a fuck like he wasn't stopping at all he was just going right through them and he fucking smoked the hr lady was i'm not gonna say her name but she was up there and he smoked her with a golf ball, got hit by the blade, and went, and hit her right in the back. Just drilled her. And I was the only one that saw it.

And I was like, oh, shit. Like, I saw her just get nailed. And then she, like, got up and started, like, trying to, like, play it off. Like, it didn't happen. And she started, like, trying to casually walk, like, down like down the driving range like to get back to her office or whatever and then she just stopped and she just laid down because she was in so much pain i don't know why i had that dream but fucking just just whistled it at her and just nailed her in the back i was like oh in my dream i was like did any of us react to it i was the

only one that saw it happen it was one of those moments like after you went oh none of us reacted to it i don't know i my memory stops after she like laid on the ground i think after she laid on the ground people were just like why is she laying down and then it was probably just like oh she got hit by a bear but it was kind of i don't know we're not going to get into this but the fact that gavin was on the mower yeah i don't know i had him anyways just just binged her okay what were you gonna say well i was gonna say i had to take a shit shields and oh yeah how was that oh my god i went in the bathroom and sat down and i was sitting there like trying to take a shit and i was like it smelled so fucking bad your own shit

no someone else dude someone ruined that bathroom ruined have you ever had a shit that was so bad that you were like i'm making myself nauseous yeah it's It's really rare. Yeah. Because I don't know the science behind, you know, the expression is everyone likes their own brand. But I wonder what the science is behind why the smell of your own feces isn't that bad. You know what I mean? It's like someone, like you said, you were almost puking dude it was so but that guy was probably in another stall like that's a good maybe not like that but it's very rare that i'll have a shit that smells so bad i had too many shields got rude and now i ended up here i stopped by the hot fudge bar and now I'm making my own fudge.

This is extra hot and spicy. Did I ever tell you about the time where, I mean, we're only six minutes in. We're already talking about shit stories. But do you guys want a poop story? A little holiday special? Sure. A little festive fecal matter story. I don't know. So I was in Target.

And. I was shopping with Lena. I was in Target. I had hot diarrhea. Hot caca. Had to go. I think that's all you have. Went to the bathroom.

Sat down. Yeah. Into the toilet. You know. I go to get the. I go to get the toilet paper i'm like oh shit the fucking roll is empty there's no toilet paper so i was like what do i do i i gotta clean up this fucking mud muddy mess back here i was like so i slowly stand up my pants are still down um did you i i crack open the stall door there and

then there's no one else in here so i like i i gently pull up my pants and like make sure that nothing is touching my butt and i waddle over into the other stall really quick and i sit i sit down on the toilet the other stall is out of toilet paper i'm like oh no what the fuck so i slowly stand up again slowly pull my pants up not touching anything so you're just doing a little Chinese fire drill. I literally, um, and so I slowly open this stall door again and I'm like, I make a dash. Well, I'm like I said, I'm waddling cause I'm trying not to,

um, smear the area. And I like waddle over to the sink and I just like get some paper towels real quick. And then I go back into my original stall cause I'm like, well, this is where the whole party started. So I might as well finish it in here if i go back into the original

stall i was in and i clean up and just like that that's how you that's how you get out that's how you get out of uh when in doubt chinese fire drill your way out i'm sorry the camera is like on a slight angle and it's bothering the absolute fuck out of me. Adjust it. Okay. Tiny fire ground. I wonder if people are thinking anything like, oh my god, that looks so weird. There we go. That's it.

Alright, would you finish your monster so we can see what... Should I put my phone on it with the leveling app to make sure it's perfectly level? It's up to you, but finish your Monster so we can have a fucking drink. Sponsored by... No. I got fucking Cottonmouth over here. I thought it would technically be Coke, not Monster. Anyways. No, there's people that are sponsored by Monster.

We should try to get sponsored by Monster. Okay, I wonder what's in the Magic Mini Fridge. Wonder what's in the Magic Mini fridge i wonder what's in the magic mini fridge what's in there we got two miller lights and a couple of lights you know what i think the mini fridge was listening to us a couple episodes back because we just we decided that miller light has the most taste out of any beer and then you were also talking about how natty light you could pick out in a lineup yeah so maybe this thing's like siri like it'll listen to you and then it'll just like yeah so i don't know i've been really wanting to drink a million dollars nobody heard that um do you want to grab me a beer i'll take a natty light okay i'll take one

that cracked you can't tell me that also i have been kind of craving these since we did that episode because you're talking about them you can't tell me it's not spicy take a sip it's spicy these aren't spicy yeah it tastes spicy if you ask if you ask spencer that is like a million dollar beer i don't know if what you mean by spicy it tastes a little weird after drinking a monster but they have a little burn to them like a little zing well they are a carbonated beverage if that's what you're referencing. If that's what you mean. They're more carbonated.

Or is there like crushed black pepper in there? No, there's crushed black pepper. There is? No. Oh. 1977, brewed in America. Dude, the old cans just look so sick. They just look sick.

I love the look of the Natty Light cans. Pretty sleek. They look pretty cute. Alright. So, because it's the season of giving, and Cam and I decided that... These are 4.2.

That's more than... No, that's not more than Bush Light. I think that's the same. I think Bush Light's 4.2. That's more than... No, that's not more than Bush Light. I think that's the same. I think Bush Light's 4.2. So, since it's the season of giving, and Cam and I decided that we were going to give each other a present this year, we were like, why don't we just open them on the pod? Because I didn't get your girlfriend anything, and you didn't get your girlfriend anything

and you didn't get my girlfriend anything. Did we do that? We've done it in past years where we had a little a little miniature friend Christmas gift exchange. Yeah. But we're not doing that this year.

Christmas falls on a fucking Monday this year which is whack. I know. Whoever made the calendar this year is fucking Hey, Good Friday is still on a Friday. Fucking off their Yeah. year which is whack i know whoever made the calendar this year is fucking hey good friday still on a friday fucking off there yeah thankfully thanksgiving was still the last thursday of the month so we got that right yeah um yeah we definitely have done that in the past but man this year's been so expensive yeah so, so we just decided we're going to do our own.

And so, I don't know. Should we just do them now? Sure. Do you want to do mine first since you literally just got mine? We went shopping before this episode. I procrastinated all my Christmas shopping. I just now got my fiance's gift today. I got one of my girlfriend's gifts, but I had to split up from him because he was getting my gift so you just bought this like 30 minutes ago so so fork it over i'm

just kidding do you have like a little sentiment you wanted to say to me no but you guys like my wrapping paper you didn't want to say anything to me you didn't have a sentiment oh well i hope you enjoyed this it's it's really going to go along with something that you've been on lately something i've been on a trend you've been on lately let's see what trend have i been on lately i've been drinking a lot of beer oh wait that's it that's all the time what have i been on lately smoking smoking related maybe yeah i did think about getting something for smoking but they only had trigger shit so that got thrown out the window you don't want to talk about how good of a friend i am to you how much i mean to you how much you look up to me you mean a lot to me and i think this is

i mean a lot to you yeah and this is really this is really gonna make cammy this is really this is a really from the heart gift okay blushing i'm not supporting your alcohol illitism or anything like that okay okay this is a very thoughtful gift this is more than the mug I was going to get him. More than the mug? Oh, yeah, you were going to get him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, you showed up. So there's the mug.

What's the guy's name? Wood? I don't know what his first name is. It's just Wood. The big black dude with the giant dick meme that came out around COVID that's sitting on the edge of the couch. Well, they had a coffee mug that's all black until you put hot liquid in it and then it like changes the color of the mug the picture appears of this black dude except there's a giant sensor bar over it and i was

like it'd be better if they just had a full schlong yeah full dick his third leg okay well you can open this okay then that's why i got the miller lights oh is it miller time no it's miller time in the city oh see i've bought versions of this before for people but i've never received one well i thought they had a baseball one that was like like how would you put a baseball oh no like a golf it's like a golf ball sized baseball but they didn't have them there i know i've seen them i swear i've seen him cheers oh it comes with a fucking coaster that's pretty sick that really chose you chose tells you that i haven't gotten one of these

before i've gotten one with like a giant mug one with a bullet i got one for cole once and i can't remember if i got one for ben before or not but i've never seen one of these and then i got the golf ball one look at that guys someone had to heat up this, and they had to hit a ball so perfectly that it would stick in there, but not hard enough that it would break through. Is it actually through? Let me see it. It looks like it's partially through, but there's also glass on the other side of it, so I'm not exactly sure how they did that. It's pretty cool, though. I bet they did probably heat up i mean by

it's something you've been on drinking beer and no you've been on your chugging pints oh i'll finish this one and then we'll and then we'll do a we'll do a pound a pint i'll finish i'll finish this beer out of this that was probably dusty as shit and then i'll do a pound a pint oh yeah i yeah, I didn't wash this. Look at that. You can kind of cradle the ball for extra grip. And then I kind of got the idea. Man, those are kind of some cool...

This might be my new chugging glass. That's kind of a cool glass to have, like, on set. True. So, well, I lied to you. I went to the gas station to get 40s, but I was going to get Guinnesses. Since you have to drink Guinness out of a pint. Well, they didn't have any Guinnesses, and I wasn't going to buy a 12-pack of Guinness. You would have had to go to a store.

And I wasn't going to buy a 12-pack of Guinness. But then I was like, well, that'd be pretty cool if I could sit it over in the corner and already have a Guinness in it. But I was like, eh. A Guinness in it? I was like, by the time we set up, I'm going to have to be like, don't worry about what I'm doing over and already have a Guinness in it but I was like by the time we set up I'm going to have to be like don't worry about what I'm doing over here bottle of Guinness so like if a British person pours a Guinness

are they like it's Guinness in it isn't it it's Guinness in it isn't it it's Guinness in it isn't it um but yeah I was going to get you like smoking stuff that was my original plan yeah oh we were at my uh we were sitting at my um mom's choir concert on wednesday and i like i we were talking we were

sitting there waiting for it to start we were talking about christmas presents and my i was like what do you want for christmas i was sitting next to my dad my dad is like 65 years old i was like were you a good boy this year um um i don't remember what he said some smart ass thing though and i was like you know what i was like i probably actually wouldn't mind getting charcoal since i've been honest um yeah since i've in the past couple years been smoking charcoal you know if you want to send me charcoal i'll gladly accept well i know how expensive wood chips are so i was gonna do that yeah and they had buckets of pellets but they didn't have any buckets of wood chips. So I was like, what the fuck?

Buckets? Yeah. Like five gallon buckets. What? Where? They had five gallon buckets of wood, like pellets. Oh, pellets. Like for Traeger's and stuff.

Yes. But I was looking for wood chips, but they didn't even have any wood chips. Yeah. Because I was going to get that with wood wood chips even though that was like our price pellet smokers are so much more common there's you you rarely you'll if you go into a sporting good store you will not find an offset smoker well i think it's shields is like sponsored by maybe probably or they got like a partner but they got egg they got big green egg stuff yeah and i think they have pit boss in there too maybe i was just looking at the wrong

section spot either way and i was like then i was looking at seasonings i was going to get you a seasoning i was like well i've got jake seasoning two years in a row for christmas so did you really yeah i got you critter glitter last year which to your credit i fucking love that shit i use it all the time whenever i make chicken i use that it's good on chicken it's good on chicken all right do you want to open your gift yeah do i need something to cut the tape with no oh um because i've already opened it and tried this out oh did you yeah i'm worried um so if it's a little sticky, your flashlight that I got. Imagine I'm like, I used it, and then I pull out a flashlight, and you're like so enamored by it that you're like, wait, you said you tried this?

Like you forget? Did it feel good? You have also been such a good friend to me. And we recently talked about sometimes, especially if you have a little too much to drink, sometimes you get a little bit angry. And I don't know if this is necessarily something to help you, but it might be. And being that you're you, I know I can't just get you a serious gift so I had to get you a toy so here you go open it out here where they can see you know what that is oh we were just talking about the other day how we wanted to try it you know what that is? Yeah.

Press on. It started. It takes batteries or you can charge it. Age 26. User 2. I don't know what the age has to do with it. I think because it'll say week. Okay, so for those of you that don't know, do you want to tell them what this is? This is a grip strength.

See how hard your grip strength is. It measures how hard you can squeeze in pounds. Electronic hand dynamometer. Dynamometer, huh? Dynamometer, yeah. So I guess it'll say weak medium or strong yeah so maybe it'll take into your account your age and tell you whether that's weak or not like maybe if you're a 90 year old woman and you only get like 10 pounds or like you are strong okay i was trying to change my age here

do you want me to tell you what i got got on? 165. Nope, I got up to 174. 174? I got up to 174. Okay, I'm trying to figure out how to change the age. How did you... It probably says somewhere. You should probably just squeeze it and see what you get. Now I'm in kilograms, what the fuck? Yeah, you don don't want kilograms we don't want those stupid

ass measurements okay give it a squeeze you can let go yeah what'd you get 69 you only got to 69 yeah that's in my right hand though what oh 96 96 Oh, 96. 96 pounds? Yeah, 96.2. He's squeezing hard. He's squeezing with both hands, even though it's only in the left. You can just squeeze as hard as you can to release, and it'll just tell you what the peak was.

96.2. It says I'm weak. Squeeze hard. Yeah, put it down. You put it down, it helps. What'd you get to? 96.2. 96.2?

That's what I had last time. Huh. I think it's because I'm saying i'm uh i got to 163 my my fingers popped when i did it burr 179.4 there you go wait hang on merry christmas buddy thank Thank you. I'm trying to read this. Is this in kilograms or? It says pounds. I just did it.

No, I know on this, though. Okay, well, I think we could probably play with this later since we're recording a podcast. I want to know how this works. So here you go. There's your charger. Thank you, friend. I'm just going to walk around the fucking bars with this now just be like you're really pissing me off it's it's it's not it's not a like necessarily a trainer listen asshole

you can also adjust this thing up and down for, I guess, maybe depending on your hand size. I don't know. If you have smaller hands, you probably need it closer to the top. Well, yeah, that's just like my fingers. I always just had, like, my fingers. Are you supposed to have, like, your entire hand? I don't know. I think it's probably your personal preference.

Well, we'll figure that out. And just whatever you can get to the highest with. The max it goes is 264 pounds. i want to see a motherfucker that can do that because as you guys know jake's a big son bitch if he's only get 160 i just got 179 179 yeah um you only got like 100 pounds more so since we just gave each other gifts one of the things i would love to talk about um if maybe you remember because well i'm hoping since we talked about halloween costumes and you didn't remember a single halloween costume from your childhood now that it's Christmas, I want to hear what your favorite, most memorable gift is that you ever got. If there's anything that stands out to you where you're just like, oh, yeah, I remember when I got this.

Just walk me through it. Like, what were you feeling? What were you thinking? When was it? How old were you? I was probably like 12 12 okay 10 like somewhere around there um and i was kind of like going through like my nerf phase oh boy well my grandma got me this thing that had like three targets on it.

It had three targets on it, and it was like digital. And it came with like a gun and Nerf darts. But on the top, it had like these pegs that blew air up, and you set ping pong balls on it. What? And they like floated. What? Like it blew a constant stream of air? Yeah.

So it would float the ping pong balls? Yeah. And then you went, ping! And you'd shoot them off, and then they would tell you your top score. What? Yeah, it was pretty sick. That's pretty crazy. And then I broke it because it fell off my bed.

Fell off your bed? Yeah. Like you had it on the foot of your bed or something? Yeah. You'd lay in bed and shoot it? Mm-hmm. And then I got a little too excited one night. Woo!

And fucking knocked it off. And then it broke, like, two of the top ping pong ball shooter deals. I mean, I had a little bit of a Nerf phase, but I don't remember anything like that existing. I didn't go through, like, now Nerf is huge well there's so much like there's nerf brand a lot of different shit like you can probably get like a nerf brand like basketball and it's like not even foam yeah or like a gun it's just a ball yeah but like there's like so many nerf guns now and i i wasn't like i had a friend that was Nerf or nothing. Oh, everyone. More like nerd or nothing.

He had every single gun. I feel like everyone knew a kid like that. There was a kid that had an insane arsenal. Like, an arsenal. Like, let's not get it mistaken here. It was a full-on nerf armory in their house well in this kid had like an lmg that was like belt fed yeah it i shit you not we were like over there and i was like man this is kind of cool like i didn't was it the vulcan is that what it was called i don't maybe i don't know the belt fed yeah i remember playing with one of those but it's always it's always fun to hang out

with that friend but i wouldn't really request that much well i always lose all the darts well here's the thing correct me if i'm wrong but when if you you're a young kid you go over to some kid's house for you know i haven't been over here before i don't really know how good of friends we are yet you get over there and you see his insane nerf arsenal and you're just like to some kid's house for, you know, I haven't been over here before. I don't really know how good of friends we are yet. You get over there and you see his insane Nerf arsenal. And you're just like, oh, this kid's a spoiled brat. Yeah. That's usually the first thing that would go through my mind. Yeah.

Is, wow. Like, this kid gets whatever he wants whenever he wants it. My parents would never, if I was like, can I please get this $150 Nerf gun? They'd be like, fuck you. You think they're made of fucking money? Yeah, they'd be like. But yeah, and so we were over there and we were kind of hanging out. This was pretty close to Christmas.

It was actually on winter break because me and this kid just kind of became friends. Yeah. And we were playing with his fucking Nerf guns. I'm like, okay, okay well where's the darts and he just slides out like a tote from under his bed that's just stacked like millions stacked millions uh it was like probably thousands it was fucking insane you're like where are the darts he's like pulls up a like presses the lower remote button slides out and then just his entire bed like his mattress pops up and there's just guns nailed he has a murphy bed that's just on the other when it folds up it's just like a mount

just a wall mounted with guns yeah he's just like a secret he's like personally i'm a sniper like those oh fuck those kids that have like classifications for what kind of nerf gunner they are like oh well i'm a light machine gunner i'm a submachine gunner well and yeah like the you know like the well i prefer the long range the nerf 50 cal like the big red mega like yeah yeah you had to pull back on both sides too and he had like the scopes and the foregrips and all that shit he'd like slide them on and off and i was like man you're like holy shit what is that a 40 time it's like yeah i could fucking shoot my my neighbor between the eyes with this if I wanted. A thousand feet per second dart. I'm sitting there.

I'm like, this is kind of cool, but, man, you're kind of dumb. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What kind of fucking spring is in there? Holy shit. Is that a fucking train suspension spring? A lot of things I'd get for Christmas, I'd ask for, like, RC cars. Yeah. Or, like, remote-controlled shit because I liked it. And then I'd play with it RC cars. Yeah. Or like remote controlled shit because I liked it. And then I'd play with it for about a week.

And then I would, I, as a little kid, I loved taking things apart, but I'd never remember how to put them back together. Yeah. I remember you either telling me that or talking about it on here, how you'd like to. Yeah. I just like to take, I was like a tinkerer. Like I just like, yeah. Take, you said you would take it like Hot Wheels and stuff apart.

Yeah. Take Hot Wheels apart, paint them. Yeah. And you said you would take your like hot wheels and stuff apart. Yeah. Take hot wheels apart, paint them. Yeah. And then put them back together. Take them into the body shop. Yep. But like my dad would always get so fucking mad. There's just...

Because it would be then a broken toy. Yeah. So you can't play with it anymore. I'd like to see how things worked. And you'd be like, Dad, can I see your Cressor? Bam! I gotta fix my... i gotta take it into my car shop that bullshit he's like he's like yeah well you can't put it back together with

that i'm like oh you want to bet bam i just have your dad's voice playing on replay in my head where he goes yeah 15 inch creation range dude that dickhead that dickhead got covid i'm gonna see him when we're back for christmas my parents were sick the last two christmases really yeah so two years ago they had covid they didn't have covid this last year but they were sick again and i was pissed so like you like you said you called your dad a dickhead. Like you're not really mad. You're not actually mad, but you're mad that someone you love, you don't get to see them and hang out with them. And also that's how our relationship is. I feel like it's the same like whenever you like really want to hang out with a friend and they're like, I can't come.

You like become pissed at them. But it's only because you want to spend time with them. So it's kind of a weird anger well and it we have a really weird i know i've said that on the podcast but we have a really weird way of showing love like i call him i'm like sup fucker yeah or you rail him in the head with a wrench and you're just like it's because i love you i thought you were dead as you were laying on the ground napping i I wanted to make sure you were alive. What is that called when somebody's passed out and they rub their sternum super hard because it's supposed to hurt? I don't know. I feel like you could probably just slap them.

Well, I just wanted to make sure my dad wasn't dead. I just thought, wake up! Yeah, I think it's just called making sure they're not dead um so my favorite gift that i have ever received um i can still picture it in my mind the scene very vividly for whatever reason i was the last one up when i was like for this particular christmas when i was a kid because i was usually probably the first one up. There was one year I got up and I got up before everyone. And my dad was not counting on that because I got up and the presents weren't under the tree. And I was like, I went in and I was like, Dad, Santa didn't come this year.

And he's like, what? But what he probably meant was, fuck, I thought I was was gonna beat you up and so and so he's like we'll go back to bed and maybe he'll he's just running late or something like that so my dad what he did was he took all the presents and put them on the front porch and then when we got up again he's like they're all out on the front porch we forgot to leave the door unlocked so he left him outside what a genius that man what a stud which for all those listening santa is real i just didn't well and you guys don't have a chimney in your house we don't we don't have a chimney so we're we don't we don't fall under his route yeah our our house doesn't work it's too close to the airport um yeah it's too close to the airport. Um, yeah, it's too close to the Lincoln airport.

There's a lot of, there's complete, there's conflicting, um, flight patterns. Yeah. Um, flight restricted airspace.

Yes. Thank you. That's what I was looking for. The Highland. Well, I might leave that out. Good luck finding the house. Um,

is, um, restricted airspace. All this to say, I was usually the first one up but this particular christmas i remember coming down the stairs coming around the corner and looking and seeing my mom dad and sister sitting there looking at me to see my reaction and my nintendo gamecube all black nintendo gamecube was sitting there right on the floor underneath the tree, unwrapped, just sitting there like that. I was just like, I was fucking shocked.

I was so happy that I got a fucking GameCube. You just went and ate shit? I was so happy. Because I don't even know, I don't even necessarily remember asking them for it. I'll need to, but I think my cousin had one and i played it with him so much and loved it so much i must have talked all i must have chewed their ear off about how much i loved it yeah so probably like let's just fucking get one for him so maybe it'll distract him or something yeah um or maybe just because my parents loved me in order to get me a

good gift but i remember seeing that game keep sitting under the tree and oh boy was I happy and excited and eventually at a certain point then I really wanted like a Wii and then I wanted an Xbox and like I got into this pattern where when the next one would come out I'd sell it and then coming into my young adulthood I was like I really wish I still had my GameCube I really wish I still had my Wii so I ended up repurchasing a gamecube and i will never fucking sell that thing again now that i know they're like gold even if like i never play it which i rarely play it well i still love the fact that i have it for every once in a while when i get a craving to play like madden 07 which is a nostalgic game from my childhood. Now I can just pop it in whenever I want. I think a lot of it is because gaming was never that big back then. I don't know.

I think it probably just depended on the person. Gaming wasn't a thing. It was a select group. Not online. Yeah, but it was a select group of people. That was back when they had like... Was there... of people. That was back when they had like... I think probably the original Xbox

was probably one of the first consoles where you could play online. Because like playing Halo online. You could play Halo on the original Halo on the original Xbox online, couldn't you? Yeah. Natty.

This is a pint? Good. It's a 16-ounce beer, so it's a 16-ounce pint. So, okay, so we're gonna pound a pint here. My, well, I kind of have a cool video game story. Yeah. I used to have an Xbox 360 360 and i had i was playing gta 5 um went to bed woke up to my mom was all freaked out and shit because somebody hacked my

oh yeah yeah you should tell that story somebody hacked my xbox and um it happened it happened like twice but this time i don't know how it really happened but i wasn't like sharing my information or anything, but my dad one time was like, I have $2,500 charged from Xbox. Through your account. Yeah, and I got home from my friends and he just laid into me because it was like all on his card because he had his card on my Xbox. But it was your all on his card because he had his card on my xbox but like but it was your dad yeah but he had his like debit card on my xbox and they used his too or they didn't use his no they didn't use mine this was when i was like young you just said your dad was livid my dad was pissed like livid that there was a bunch of charges on his card yeah but you said it was your friend had his card i got home from my friends i got home from

my friend's house yeah and i walked in my dad was sitting in her kitchen like because you had on the dad had his card on your xbox okay and i was sitting in the kitchen and he like was on the phone with the bank and he like mutes the bank and just starts fucking laying into me and i was like no i didn't because like we had like a pretty good like i didn't i didn't do it he left his he left his card on there but i was like really good about being like hey dad you would only ask him i want this game can i get this game and if it was a no i didn't get the game yeah and or if i wanted this i would ask him and if it was okay you know how much is it five bucks all right fine but this particular time they somehow hacked my xbox and they got everything somehow like they got all the way down to where i lived and my mom's phone number and all sorts of shit so like yeah they called my mom and was like

threatening my mom so the next morning we woke up the cops were at our house i was crazy yeah it's crazy and then they didn't get me another console after that until I went from the Xbox 360. At what point did they believe you, though, that it wasn't your fault? I think pretty early. But I had, like, a gaming console pretty young. But they still just didn't want anything like that to happen again, I'm sure. So it was more of, like, okay. They weren't blaming you.

They just were blaming the circumstance. Yeah. to happen again yeah so it was more of like okay they weren't blaming you they just yeah we're blaming the circumstance yeah and i but i had a console when i was pretty young because my brother was so much older than me and i seen him playing call of duty and all that stuff and i was like i want to play those dudes my mom ended up getting me an xbox and then yeah so i didn't get a new console until my PlayStation 4. And then I got my PlayStation 4. And it came in a bundle package with Black Ops 3. Oh, fuck. Yeah. You got one of those?

And then I was so stoked. You know what's kind of sad is that now Black Ops 3 is becoming nostalgia. Mm-hmm. add is that now black ops 3 is becoming nostalgia which it didn't seem like that long ago that it was just what the current game was i remember god i missed that i remember jumping in i was like had to go one more day of school because my mom let me open it early yeah no i by the time i got everything figured out i was like just getting into playing the game but my brother came back helped me set up my entire account and yeah i remember my first game was at redwood oh your first game was at redwood i think i think i would have been

i think i would have been 18 for black ops 3 so i was able to buy black ops 3 myself which is kind of gross when i think about the fact that how much older i am than you but i had to have my sister buy black ops 2 for me i remember getting black ops 2 the day it came out but yeah black ops 3 sister she's three years older than me oh um Ops 2 for me. I remember getting Black Ops 2 the day it came out. How much older is your sister? She's three years older than me. Yeah, I remember playing that. Man, I really...

I recently tried getting back on it to try to play multiplayer and there's like no lobbies online. So sad. I'm like, I fucking love this game. Yeah, it was fun now all of call of duty is dog shit but i'd say a hot take that's not really a hot take i'm sure more people would agree with you than disagree with you if you say call of duty sucks now me and my brother were talking about that last night too like we kind of like the same conversation as me and you had

but how there's just no games that you can go home and relax and play anymore yeah i don't know i just i guess unless you're like talking about a sports game but like even like sports games get boring madden i want to play a first person shooter and be able to have fun doing it yeah like madden i feel like the games have just been getting worse and worse the thing about this about sports games is like when they're so focused on trying to make the graphics so good and make it look like you're it looks so much like lebron yeah that it looks like here's a picture of him in the game versus next to him

in real life and it's almost identical but it's like yeah but the actual engine for the way the player movement in the game is so fucking they're making so many games now that it's like they're literally only possible to play it like it used to be okay yeah this game is way too big for uh you know console so it's only on pc like rust they brought it there and when they first brought rust out to console it was horrendous i went from playing like a video game that has decent graphics playing that game. I'm like, Oh my fucking God, this is God awful. Well, like,

and like FIFA or, you know, those are just reskins. Like they're, they're getting to the next year and they're just slapping a new number on it and calling it a new game. It's not a new game. And just adding new players.

They're just changing players. You're just updating the roster, maybe updating the software. it even has updated. Yeah. Or the engine for it or whatever. But it's literally just a reskin. And they're like, okay, pay $60 and you can get it. It's like...

Well... And also the fact that now they're starting they're they're probably getting pretty close to stopping making games anymore for like the xbox one or ps4 and but the series x and the ps5 are still so hard to not necessarily to attain, but they're so expensive that no one wants to buy them. So it's like... That's what I don't understand. Is they're trying to make all these consoles better, but they're not working on a way to make them better? But I remember my PlayStation 4 was like $300. Yeah.

And my mom was shitting a brick. Like, you need to take damn good care of this because this is expensive fuck you go try to buy a playstation 4 and xbox series x right now it's like 500 playstation 5 yeah what is i think i think four i think my i think my xbox one was like 250 or something like that i don't even know yeah but. But now everything just... $500? $500. That's a fucking lot. And they're... It's got two terabytes of storage.

It's like, okay, but each game is like 150 gigabytes. Yeah, by the time you get done. And their fucking remotes are like 90 bucks. A PlayStation 5 remote. I've seen one. It was on sale. It was like the bare bones. Like white or black bare bones PlayStation controller.

$70. That's fucking ridiculous. I bought a Xbox S. Is that the last? Like the one you had? Xbox One S? There's a 1S. They also made an Xbox Series S, which isn't a Series X.

It's like, I don't know. Was it the step between? Kind of. It's newer than the bare bones Xbox One, but it's not like... But there's also an Xbox 1S. Yeah, I think that's what it is. There's one in between. There's one in between, though.

Well, Bailey has that, and my dog broke the controller he knocked it off her coffee table and for some reason it would just like would spam a button like the analog stick would just spam yeah that cost me 70 bucks i also hate the fact that i've i've bought a brand new controller before and the stick drift on it is fucking horrendous after like a few months and i had to go back to using my original xbox one controller that i got so it's like the ones that they're making they're ones that they're giving you that are brand new they're making so they fucking crap out so you have to keep buying new ones it's just like the fucking iphone well playstation four a while ago when they first like dropped the playstation 5

they i honestly i don't think i haven't heard anything but they first said they were gonna quit making playstation 4 controllers so it's like okay well they're getting ready to make everyone switch over yeah if this playstation i'm not spending 500 fucking dollars if i'm spending 500 i'll go spend an extra 300 and get a computer and be able to play any game i want that's that's kind of where i'm at like i want to get a series x but you know by the time i buy it in a couple years they're going to come up with the next one you know how long does it usually go in between like when was the xbox one well playstation i know after playstation 4 came out it was playstation 4 pro playstation for this playstation for this playstation for this playstation for slim it was like

so many different versions they just yeah because my dad has a PlayStation 4 Slim. It's literally like that big. First, I got the... My original PlayStation 4 that my mom got me did end up shitting the bed. This is a newer one that I bought a couple years ago. But it's still like the fucking true size. But my dad's PlayStation Slim and then they made the PlayStation Pro.

But that's what I'm saying. They're doing all this, and now they're going to shit can all that. Yeah, they're going to make it obsolete to force people to buy the new stuff. And a lot of it is, I think, because Xbox and PlayStation, they're going back and forth. Sony and Microsoft, they're trying to be the next best thing and which that was xbox was working on their x well so then sony just started poop like just putting out a shit ton of different yeah deals and then xbox is like okay well now we have to do something so then it was xbox one series s in between the x yeah they were making stuff that nobody really wanted there

was no different there was no difference in the playstation definitely didn't need making people think they want it i guess that's pretty much the name of any any big businesses game but all right we kind of went on a bit of a tangent yeah. Yeah, we did, yeah. I kind of want to steer things back towards Christmas a little bit, but first, I need to pound this. Pound your pint, pound your pint, pound your pint, pound your pint. I couldn't fit the whole thing in here. I couldn't fit the whole 16 in here. I took it. There was a little bit left, and I just drank the rest of it.

Is that 24 ounces? No, no, no, no. It's 16. Okay. Because this says it's 16-ounce pint. Cheers. Cheers, mate. Cheers.

You're getting better. Getting closer. Cold? Yeah, it's cold. So, I want to talk Getting closer. Cold? Yeah, it's cold. So, I want to talk Christmas traditions. If you have any Christmas traditions, it can be something real slight. But I just like, this is probably my favorite word if you guys haven't figured out.

I just like getting nostalgic. I my favorite word if you guys haven't figured out. I just like getting nostalgic. I like talking about memories. Good memories. I just saw something that kind of wanted me to like, this will make a grown man cry kind of thing. It was like, it was like POV or a kid in 2000 whatever. And it was like the bird, the sound of the birds chirping. And it was just like a kid outside playing. And it was just like going through these slides.

And it basically just looked like a summer day. And then there was a comment that was like, it isn't the bad memories that hurt the most. It's the good ones. And I was just like, oh my God. Out playing like football with your friends yeah dude thinking about the good memories every time like i'm having a really shitty day like stuff's getting expensive in that stuff it's like i just think back when we were just running around town like see that was a 12 ounce hmm so i don't know they lied to me anyways so but we can go back and forth here but i want to talk about uh christmas traditions okay

you want me to start or you start do you have something um do you want me to start i can start we go for it at my grandma's my dad's side we the youngest kid always picks up all the wrapping paper oh hazing the freshman eh yeah whoever's the youngest kid well which probably sucks when there's like you get to like the end of a generation where people stop popping out kids and you have to wait until the next generation starts coming in? Because if you're the youngest, then you're fucked. Well, my two cousins that we have now that are technically the youngest, they don't ever want to do shit.

Oh, yeah. I've heard about them. I'm stuck in that position. Because you're the third youngest or whatever. Yeah, well, now we got, like, now we're starting our new generation. Yeah, now there's babies coming in and you're like, hey, they're like, she can't even walk. And you're like, pick that shit up.

I'm done. I'm not the youngest anymore. They still thought I was beer bitch on Thanksgiving. What's that mean? Well, because, well, once again, like, on our side of the family, my dad would always be like, hey, you're old enough now. Grandpa wants a beer. Go get him a fucking beer.

Like, go buy him some no or like go down to the fridge because oh they my grandpa's always beers in like a minute mini fridge downstairs because if you're not of age you're not allowed to even touch a beer i find it hard to believe in your family no like when we're like i don't know like 12 It's like your beer bitch. Like, hey, go down there. But if you're like six, you're not like telling a kid to go get you a beer. Yeah. I get you.

I get you. Like, yeah. That kind of reminded me. That kind of reminded me of it. This is a quick tangent. One time my grandpa told my uncle, he's like, go get me some pickle loaf. And he went and he got what's a pickle loaf pickle loaf is like have you seen like um like bologna where it's got little chunks of like meat or like little chunks of like pickle cheese or pickle or olive oh yeah like in the slices

that's what he wanted he was, go get me some pickle loaf. And my uncle left and he was like, you, he's like, he didn't really know what he said. And so he came back and brought him a Michelob. He like brought him some Michelob beer. And he's like, I said I wanted pickle loaf, but he didn't know what he was talking about. So he thought he said Michelob. Oh, but he, my grandpa was like, no, I wanted pickle loaf. Like, I wanted the sliced.

Bologna? Probably bologna with, like, chunks of olives or pickle in it. But my dad and I have this tradition. Actually, we're not doing it this year. Probably just with the way Christmas lined up. Because we're doing our small family Christmas, um, tomorrow. So we would have had to already have done it this week. So the way this tradition started was when I was younger, um, I didn't have a job. I didn't have income. And I would go buy my sister and my mom presents, a.k.a. I would go to Target with my dad.

Yeah. And he would, I would pick out what I wanted to get them. Yeah. And he'd buy it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I would, my sister and I would get each other t-shirts. Because Target usually had like graphic tees that were like five, ten bucks. So I'd go and get my sister a t-shirt

and then i would get my mom like some i don't know like a candle or something like something you know whatever whatever you get your mom thoughtful yeah that a kid would get you know like my dad would get her like a robe for the 90th time or a pair of slippers for the 100,000th time or something. When I got my siblings gifts all for Christmas, it was always pajamas. Yeah, listen. My math, when I was a little kid, because my dad kind of did that same thing until I was like 16. Because then I had a job. I was old enough to kind of tell my siblings, go fuck yourself.

I'm not getting you guys gifts anymore. But, yeah, I would always get them pajamas because a whole year has arose. You need a new pair of pajamas. Yeah. But. That's the thing. You got to rotate your pajamas. But, yeah, anyways.

So, we would go shopping. We called it man shopping. And we always talked about it. Know what you want to get before you get there. You go in, get it, and get out. Man shopping. We're going right to the t-shirt section. Boom.

She likes the Beatles. Boom. We're getting the Beatles shirt. She likes Bob Marley. Ooh. Harry Potter. Even better. Platform 9 3 quarters shirt.

Boom. We're getting that. Let's run over to the lotion section. Or we can't. We're getting the fragrance. Get your money. shirt. Boom. We're getting that. Let's run over to the lotion section. Or we can't. We'll get no fragrance. Get your money. Boom. Boom.

We're out. And then we're going straight to Brewskies. We're getting wings. And playing darts and pool. And watching football. And that's what we do. We go. Do you guys still do that?

We didn't do it this year. But I think we did. It's been. It's probably been going on for almost a good 10 years now it's getting it it's definitely progressed to the point where i'll buy now yeah but like i now go together that's why that's what i was asking like yeah just go together yeah sometimes we'll still we'll well now it's to the point where we'll say hey do you want to do our tradition yeah so we'll go we'll pick out a day and we'll go get their gifts man shopping and then you're like honey it's gonna

take us at least four hours to go shopping and your mom's like where are you guys at well we go to she knows they know yeah we'll be home in a minute. Fuck. I scratched. What was that? Nothing. No, but we and then we'll go to Brewskies and I'll order like 20 wings and then we'll play pool while we're waiting for our food. The past couple of times we've gone. We usually go to the one over on like 27th and Cornhusker. That's like attached to the Super Saver. Mm-hmm. There's a Bruce Keys? The area, yeah. I'll show you.

We can go there sometime. On 20th and? 27th. 27th and Cornhusker. Well, usually they have, like, the area with the pool table, like, blocked off because it's kind of an extra section. Mm-hmm. But we'll be like, hey, we want to play pool. Do you care if we, like, sit up there?

And the lady will be like, yeah, go ahead. And so we'll go up there and order, and then we'll, like, hey, we want to play pool. Do you care if we sit up there? And the lady will be like, yeah, go ahead. And so we'll go up there and order, and then we'll play pool while we're waiting. And a couple, I don't remember if it was last year or the year before, we were kind of knocking the ball around. Neither one of us were doing that good. And then the food came, and she set it down on the table, and I fucking went pocketed, pocketed.

I hit like five in a row and my dad was like jesus all you have to do is have the fucking food come and then you're just knocking them all in so you can go eat i was like i guess i don't know maybe it's just extra motivation um so yeah we shop for like 10 minutes and then we go and hang out for like two hours maybe not two hours but speaking of pool i've really been on a big pool kick this is getting off on a tangent again but we can go play pool that's all i've been thinking we should go play pool playing pool we should we should 100 go play pool but we should get rudy out okay we can take him that'd be good you got you got to

see him when he when he's playing a bar game, you're like, you can just tell. The second he touched, like, this guy has played this. This guy has spent more than a couple hours inside of a bar before. He's like, he said back when he was in Grand Island in his heavy drinking days, because my dad doesn't drink anymore. He said, he's like, yeah,

we, we call it the bar Olympics where you go, you play pool, you play darts, you play shuffleboard. Like you'd like, and he was like, I was usually pretty good.

And his one buddy that I think the one that's passed away, he was like, he was really good. The, the one, he had this one friend that had a um he had a speech impediment and um he's like this um i'll just say um i'll say the last name i'm not gonna say anyone's last name but he basically was like that guy in the gate like he was looking for a but he basically was like, that guy in the gate, like he was looking for a pool partner. And he's like, that guy in the gate. And he like butchered, completely mispronounced the guy's name.

But anyways, yeah, that's my story. Oh, the other thing we usually do is when we're doing our small family Christmasmas we usually have um we usually eat chicken and dumplings go to like we usually do it on like christmas eve well i'll just walk you through our typical it's christmas eve we eat chicken and dumplings dumplings chicken and dumplings because that was my um my mom's sister who passed away. It was her recipe. So we eat that. And then we go to church.

Christmas Eve service. And then we come home and open our presents from our family. And then on Christmas morning, we'd open Santa's presents. So that's our other tradition is we usually eat chicken and dumplings on Christmas Eve. But I don't know if we're going to do that this year this year like i said it's fucking on a monday which is so sus yeah seriously who made the you know it's one of those things i thought about was i love all the christmas traditions but like especially with our family like all of us moving away it's just like been kind of slowly i don't know it's not really now yeah like once you get older it's like well

it doesn't i'll say this it when're young, it's a fucking vacation. When you get older, it's work coordinating, buying gifts. You're, you're, you're like losing money. You know,

it's, that's why when they say this is a hard time of year for people, this is why, because people are trying to get gifts for their kids and relatives especially yeah like well i don't want to say especially for us but like with us we're getting less hours so we are making less money and having to spend more than we normally do so it's kind of a hard year for us well and like you and i well we and that's so we always used to do a our

what our Christmas at my grandma's used to be we always we always do bowl games bowl games the college

college bowl games oh like you would do like a pool my aunt always brings them you put in your fill out your teams how yeah yeah yeah i know you're talking about blah blah that's part of it and then my grandma would always be okay here's your christmas list write down everything you want on there and then we would she would like shop for us but then we would, she would, like, shop for us. Mm-hmm. But then we would all write our names in a hat. Mm-hmm. And, like, all of us, we'd pick out.

But the adults would, like, go separately, obviously, because. But the kids would all put their name in a hat. And then you'd draw, like, one of our cousins or siblings or whatever. Mm-hmm. And it was, like, a secret Santa. And then my grandma would kind of split it up but now my grandma's like well i don't know what to buy you guys yeah yeah and i'm not gonna spend that much money because well it becomes a point where it's like your family's expanding now and everybody's getting so much older it's like yeah it's got it got to the point with us where my grandma would just give each of the parents um because my my mom has four siblings she'd give

like each set of the five 200 per kid and you would go the parents would buy the gifts from grandma and grandpa that you would we would open at the big family christmas and then we'd go up and say thank you for the thing that you don't even know that you got me yeah and then they'd be like you're welcome um well ours usually just a lot of time now in our family it's more we just get money because yeah yeah yeah it's a lot easier that way in all honesty it's like yeah it's fun opening gifts and that makes me sound like a child, but I would rather have money right now than somebody asking me, hey, what do you want for Christmas? And it's like, okay, now I have to think about something I want. I don't know, work gloves?

At this point, if someone got me socks, I'd be like, fuck yeah. Yeah. Or even boxers that don't have holes in the crotch. Last year, I asked Bailey's mom, my future mother-inin-law i asked her for a new carhartt jacket and she got me that for work and then it's like well now i'm gonna go fucking get this all dirty and fucked up at work yeah but it's something practical that you'll actually use that will benefit you in your adult life and then like i'm always asking i, I pretty much, if anybody asks me what I want for Christmas, I'm like,

for the next like four years, you can just go ahead and put jeans on. Yeah. Give me jeans. Can I just get an extended outlook on my future Christmas presents? And do jeans because I choose my one pair of dress jeans. like i've had one pair of like good jeans i

wear if i'm not like trying to dress up i'm trying to look nice you know if we go out to dinner or something yeah they finally got so worn now that they're just getting wear holes and everything like my pockets for my phone on the front like the denim just got so thin. The knee wore out of them. I was like, man, this is an $80 pair of jeans. I don't know. I don't want to go spend a shit ton of money on jeans because I've been gradually... I was telling myself,

I'll go to the store every once in a while and I'll just grab a new pair of jeans. Well, this will be a dress pair of jeans. Well, this will be the fucking... I'll throw them on for work and then they're just fucking of jeans. And then, well, this will be a dress pair of jeans. Well, this will be the fucking, you know, throw them on for work. And then they're just fucking garbage. You're like, well, now they're work. They got Earl on them. Yeah.

And then I'm down to one pair of dress jeans again. Fuck. But. Should we do a closer for this part? Yeah, and take a piss break. Okay. Cam's got to piss. And we got to go take a spin around the

mistletoe so um that's gonna be the uh that's gonna be it for this part we're gonna start the next part right here so thank you guys for listening um audio only on spotify and apple podcast use code grass at uh shankitgolf.com. If you're looking for a Christmas present for next year. Yeah. If you're looking for a Christmas present for next year or if you're doing a late Christmas, go there. If you've got a relative that likes golfing and get some fun, cool apparel, then use code GRASS. Thanks for listening.

And until next time, Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas, you filthy animals. I'll be back again and again and again and again and again and again. All right, go pee, go pee, go pee. Oh, shit, fuck. Oh, fuck.