Grass Daddies Podcast - Grass Daddies Podcast Episode 24: New Year Same Beer

Episode Date: January 8, 2024

In this episode of the Grass Daddies Podcast, the boys catch up after their christmas breaks and new years adventures. Jake tells a story about his flat tire mishap and Kam talks about his expert level two handed bowling technique! SHANKITGOLF.COM Code:grass Follow us on Social Media! Youtube: grassdaddiespodcast Instagram: @grassdaddiespodcast @kamdenwellmann @jakekillham Tik Tok: @kandenwellmann (yes that's how it's spelled) @jakekillham11

Welcome to the podcast. I couldn't think of anything we're doing that today. That's Cam, I'm Jake, and we are the Grass Daddies. Welcome back to another, oh, were you? It's a new year. Dude, I haven't seen you in a year! Ha ha ha! Welcome back to another fun-filled episode where we sit here and... I just realized you're here. I was gonna say, I'm wearing this shirt I got as a white elephant gift and it's got some pretty funny lines on it. What's a Chapman checkbook? Because he was a farmer. Oh's a chapman checkbook because he was a farmer oh my chapman checkbook you want to read off some of them or just read them all so okay so i got this out of a white elephant gift and the john deere hat and cam if you would

like to you can start from the top if you want there's some pretty fucking funny ones on here. If it takes a chicken and a half a day and a half. Okay, so the story behind that one is when my mom is one of five girls, and every time they would get like a new boyfriend, it would bring them over to the house. The first thing my grandpa would ask them is, if it takes a day and a half for a chicken and a half to lay an egg and a half, how many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse roof and they'd be like like not realizing he was absolutely fucking with them i farm yep that's one thing he says yeah they're on a hat

i'll let you know when you've had enough So the story behind that one is before my parents got married, they were, I think it was after the wedding. It was after the wedding rehearsal. It was after the wedding rehearsal. And they were at a bar, and one of my dad's friends was getting up to leave, because he's like, I got a lot of stuff I got to get done and do tomorrow. And my grandpa just said, you just sit down. I'll let you know when you've had enough. The Chapman checkbook?

Yep. Take a board to it, shit man. Shit man. You would always say that. My third daughter from my first wife. You always said my first wife. You was only married to one woman. Osceola.

Osceola, Nebraska. But, yep, he must have just thought that was a funny word and would say that. Use jock salesman. Use jock salesman. Put your machine away. Wrong Lowry. He would say put. Use jock salesman. Use jock salesman. Put your machine away. Wrong Lowry. He would say put your machine away if someone was like on their phone while they were playing cards

and it was like their turn. He'd say put your machine away. Get closer to your mic. Wrong Lowry. Yep. Dog fashion. Dog fashion. Do you guess what that one is?

Instead of doggy style, he'd say i'd like to take her dog fashion jim mccheskey jim mccheskey another just he thought it was funny rolling off the tongue real pretty blue i have i said that today did you hear me say that today or no it was the other day when we were um when we were trying to get some soap on the tire. Oh, yeah. And Darius came in with a bottle of Dawn. And I was like, ooh, that's a real pretty blue. I have feelings.

Put your pop down. Fighting Navy. Yep. If Portland attacked Turkey from the rear, would Greece help? Not Portland. Poland. Poland. If Poland attacked Turkey from the rear, would Greece help?

1771 yep those were all his numbers he always bet on horses let's have a fresh one let's have a schluck have a schluck which we're about to do in a minute here bad day at black rock

yo shorty well it was just yo he'd always say yo and he referred to a certain part of his anatomy as shorty yep was that well it was just yo he'd always say yo and he referred to a certain part of his anatomy as shorty his penis yes cam his penis his penis um bad day at black rock already said that one huh 160 acres and you got to play you got to play behind my chair 160 acres and you got to play behind my chair shazam skin it back put some hair you know that yeah saw him the same day you bring him to the barn yep 120 pounds soaking wet with a. 120 pounds soaking wet with a heart. 120 pounds soaking wet with a heart on.

Oh, fuck. That's a good one. Yep. If pulling a tack turkey from the rear would... Would grease help. So there you go. That's a list of boogerisms. Boogerisms. And, of course, Booger was his nickname.

Oh, fuck. Yeah, we got a good chuckle out of that one. Did you guys, like, get those for, like, a special occasion? No, it was an item. So this hat and this shirt were items in a white elephant gift. And I was like, when it was my turn, I stole it. There was, like, three different different ones three different bags um you know i have a little bit of a i have a little bit of a what do i how do i want to say this what word am i thinking of

i guess a little bit of a bone to pick with white elephants well and i guess it might just be with it it probably depends on the family you have but have you ever been a part of a white elephant gift exchange where you actually follow the like unspoken guidelines of a white elephant before by getting something that's funny and then you have someone get something kind of nice and extravagant and then everyone's like trying to steal it you're like well i hope no one gets mine because i got a fucking for example for example one of the gifts in our white elephant gift exchange was these whiskey glasses and like the bottom of the glass had like a mountain sticking up out of the bottom like out made of glass like it was part of the bottom of the glass and a bottle of like whiskey like it was like um it was like sugar cookie whiskey or something like that or cookie dough whiskey and it was pretty good and then maybe and the white elephant gift i put in was a 13 bonsai tree kit from amazon

and i'm like well that's kind of a cool gift and mine seems like nothing compared to it so am i supposed to should i be stepping my game up here or well see we usually like before our anything's planned we'll like say hey are we doing a practical gift or are we doing like something funny well there's one thing but that's the overall idea of a white elephant gift exchange is it's like almost a prank yeah my cousin three years ago got a fish in a fish tank. And then her mom got it. And then. How big was the fish tank?

It's like a. Oh, like a small one. Well, it's like the square, like half circle one. It's not that big, but it's like maybe like this wide. A square half circle? Like, I mean, it's like a half circle. I was going to say like it's like flat on the back. Oh wide, a square half circle. Like, I mean, it's like a half circle. I was going to say like,

it's like flat on the back. And Oh, I think I know what you're talking about. I like changed it to like half. I think I know what you're talking about. Um, and she brings in this bag that's soaking wet. And we're like,

I'm like, I know that's the fucking fish. And I am not getting the fucking fish because then once you get the fish, nobody fucking steals it. once you get the fish nobody fucking steals it so you're pretty much stuck with it true hey true yeah um so that one's on yeah see true so um then her mom got it and then her mom it's now it's like an on-running thing of the fish being in the fucking white elephant like people keep putting fish in no like it's the same thing but it just keeps getting recycled every

year and so her mom got it and then the fish the fish and fish tank a real fish ago yes they brought a beta and put it had it in the container like two years ago and then so they're re-gifting a beta fish and like a baggie no like they it's died and then they buy a new one oh put it in there so it becomes a running joke so then her mom got it and her mom's fish died well she didn't get a fish she just put the tank and all the shit for the tank boxed it back up and then her daughter got it back the one that put it in and so then how does that even happen this christmas her daughter brought a wet bag and a box and so she's like guys i promise it's not and so her mom's like okay well i'm gonna I'm going to trust you this time. And she fucking opened it. And it was, she actually got a fish, but the bag was wet because the fish tipped over.

So now her mom's got it back. And so now we just have a fish. So there's like one gift that nobody wants to get. And then we did Bailey's side. And I actually got a pretty cool one. But her, on her mom's side, everybody had had this uh no it was on her dad's side no it's on her mom's side it was on her mom's side and i got one gift got stolen i opened ended up opening five gifts god i would open it and somebody would steals it like i got you know

like your pair of ice grips, your Milwaukee vice grips. Oh, yeah. That you can tighten. Yeah. I got a pack, a two pack of those. Oh. And I was like, man, this is going to be good. Fucking stole.

Worth more than money. And then the last one I opened, I ended up, it got stolen. And then I opened one and I can't remember. Oh, it was a flashlight. Flashlight? No, flashlight. I wish it was a flashlight. I would have kept it.

But so because I went first, so then I ended up I got a whiskey glass set, like small drinking glass set, and it came with chillers, so they're like metal ice cubes. So they don't water down your whiskey. And so then I got that. And then the other day I went and I bought a new bottle of Captain. Because I don't drink very much whiskey, but I do like Captain. But I got the private stock one. That's nice. It's good shit. That's's nice and i got a bottle of bailey's we fucking and then bailey got two more bottles of wine

and we just we went there with no alcohol and we came home like we're a fucking liquor store that's usually how those go i feel like it's just like oh you got socks with a smearing off ice in it that's what my brother did he got a six pack of smeared off ices and my grandma took a knee my grandma chose the back did she take a knee put it through her iv bag and then my brother ended up stealing his gift back, and then he just gave everybody a nice. That's funny. Yeah. Oh, and then my dad's wife got a Viking beer helmet.

Oh. It has, like, Viking horns out of it. I should bring it to the game. I should bring it to the game tomorrow and just stuff two cans up there. That would be pretty cool. pretty cool right in the mic uh so we were talking a little bit about the tire oh yeah i need to tell you well yeah yeah yeah um this episode is sponsored by the magic mini fridge um i don't know let's see what the magic mini fridge wait wait wait wait know let's see what the magic mini fridge wait

wait wait wait wait i don't want it to be anything bad so bless it real quick bless your mini fridge that's kind of oh yeah that's the best you're back that's the best they don't make beer better than this they don't make beer like this anymore. I don't know. Every kind of beer is good. Oh, did you hear it? Did you hear it? It's saying...

It's teleporting more. Take and drink. It's pulling more in there right now. Tired. Have a schluck. I've been fucking waiting for this story all day. It's pretty great. So, yesterday... Cam wasn't here yesterday this was

first day back from um family things family issues um not necessarily issues but just family stuff going on um so we've discussed on the pod how winter is a slow time for us so we were trying to stay busy yesterday so we were going to take a load of scrap metal to a metal recycling place with our work truck and our work trailer. Now, this trailer is loaded up with... Well, Jake wasn't here when we loaded it. Well, I was, but I was doing something else. Oh, yeah, you were.

I was cutting those steaks. I forgot. Sorry. This trailer is loaded up with so much shit. Two dead knicks. It's fucking weighed down. Well, we had... There is hundreds of mower blades and...

God, just a whole bunch of random shit. You guys probably know what bed knives are. If you're listening and you do golf course maintenance, you'll know what a bed knife is. But we had a deep freeze, like this, to the wall, full of bed knives and rotary mower blades. If you've ever picked up a rotary mower blade. Yeah, and this is like big, like big mowers. Pretty white. It's not like you

and rollers yeah anyways this thing is a plum full of metal so it is heavy and the back left tire on this is always going flat um and but it's um this particular winter season it's, um, this particular winter season, it's really flat. So there's something going wrong with it. So our boss says, let's take a load, um, to alters the name of the, um, recycling place. And so I was like, well, we need to, can we like see if that tire has a leak somewhere so we can patch it he's like yeah so it's on the rim where it's parked so first thing we have to do is jack it up get it onto the hitch of the truck so then we can jack it from the back to lift it up off the tire because uh our

mechanic started jacking it up and it was like because the tire is a little bit further back started doing that to me the other day so we got it on the hitch got the tire up pulled it off um it was covered in mud so i took it into the shower and was in the shower wondering why there was fucking 12 pounds of fucking mud in the fucking shower. I took it out, and I'm kind of wheeling it on the ground, and I'm looking at it, and there's like five or six little spots that it's like pissing out. Yeah. But there's a nail. There is a nail in it.

So we go, there's a nail in it. Justin, our mechanic, he took some side dikes and popped it out and patched it patched the hole aired it up looked like it was holding just fine we slapped it back on the trailer we headed up to alters i was watching it it was on my it was on the left side of the trailer so i was watching it the whole time every once in a while look in the rear side view and i would see it still inflated it's bulging because there's so much weight on it the whole time. Every once in a while I'd look in the rear side view and I would see it still inflated. It's bulging because there's so much weight on it but it's still inflated.

We get two altars. Where is altars? Way up north. Way up north. It's 70th and basically Cornhusker. But Cornhusker. Anyways anyways it's way up north it's it's like a good 25 30 minute drive with how slow our piece of shit work truck is especially pulling a heavy load like that oh my god was that thing bogging down when I was taking it over hills really yeah

um we pull into the parking lot and we're coming, like we get in the back of the line. Cause there's like two or three trucks that are trying to go in. And I look, I'm like, Oh fuck. It's on the rim. I'm like, when did that happen? I'm like,

that had to have just happened because I, I turned it around. I was slowly going around. Well, actually, first of all, what happened was I took the air compressor I had in my truck from when my tire was having issues with us and it had like 100 pounds of air in it and i tried putting air in it

um to like to bold like try to get a little air in it because i'm like maybe if we can get it in there and get all this shit unloaded it'll yeah pop back up and be fine well so i got an air in a tire when you got fucking the shit weight on it yeah so i put a little bit of air in it i started rolling forward and it was just just crumbling and i like turn i had to turn it around because i was in line i had to get to a spot where i wasn't blocking traffic and shit from people coming in and out So I pulled it over to the side. And I'm like turning on it too. And it's just like. Like it's folding over itself.

It is completely flat. So I call our boss. And I say hey it's flat. You're going to need to send out. I just said it's flat. And he's like okay. So then I was like okay. Now they know there's nothing we can do except wait for them to come help us.

So we're sitting there in the truck, just sitting on our phones. And then this guy comes up to the windows. You guys need air? I'm like, there's this guy and he's got overalls on and sunglasses on. And he looks like exactly the kind of guy you would picture at a scrap metal place who would be selling scrap metal um and he just he's holding this uh little milwaukee air compressor i'm like uh because like this the the the issue is a little bit more complicated than just we need air yeah because i don't know what the issue is well he bit more complicated than just we need air. Yeah.

Because I don't know what the issue is. Well, he sticks his little thing on there. And turns it on. And it's taking air. So we know it's still on the bead. So I'm like, that's a good sign. And I'm feeling down there. And I can feel that the plug that our mechanic put in came out so it had to be as we were turning into alters that plug came out because I could feel it I like put my finger on it and he

was like airing it up and it was inflating a little bit and I let go and he's like you got like a screw or a nail you could put in it or something. And I'm like, well, and I'm like, our, our mechanics on his way. Like we can, like he'll fix. And then he, like before I know it,

he's like going, he's like going back to his truck or whatever. And like, he comes back with like a bolt that's like this big around. And he like gives it to Spencer because Spencer was with me and he's like screw that in there so then we're kind of just like you know when you're kind of with a little older guy and he tells you to do something it's like you just kind of do it almost like it's your grandpa yeah you don't really yeah you don't really question especially a seasoned whatever that guy is like

him um so you can tell he's been around the he's been around the bush a few times if he's just got a hey look i got a milwaukee air compressor yeah he just had that shit on him and so spencer gets down there and he's screwing it in with his fingers and he gets it about halfway in and it's holding you know there's no air coming out and we fill it the rest of the way up um and he's like it says there's 50 pounds in there but i guarantee you that's not true because the tire is bulging and i'm like well there's also a ton of weight on it but he like keeps ramping up the air and i'm like well he's like well maybe we should stop then i'm like i didn't want to say anything but like

and i was like yeah i was like that that'll be good like once our mechanic gets here we can figure something out and as we're standing there he's like so do you guys do this like are you I don't know is there a word for it scrappers I don't he was like do you do this as we're standing next to a trailer full of scrap metal and um i was like no we we work at a golf course and we're just getting rid of some stuff he's like i'll tell you what i'll pay you five dollars for that and he was pointing at the parts cleaner that was in the way back and i was just like okay so then he peeled out five ones and i gave two dispenser and i took three as i was like i drove so i took three and we pulled that parts cleaner out of there and set it down and he's

like does it have like a does it have the screen that comes with it because and he was giving us the rundown on it he's like yeah this thing is what pumps the cleaning stuff in and then it circulates it and we're just like we're kind of looking through the trailer for him and then he kind of leaves um he's like he was telling spencer he's like you're gonna have to screw that in more than that because it was like halfway in but what i was what i told him was i was like i don't want to get that thing too far into where we can't unscrew it anymore because i don't know what tools are mechanics bringing. Yeah.

Like what happens if we screw that all the way in and we can't get it back out. Yeah. Um, and so Spencer's like, yeah. And he's like, I can still unscrew it with my fingers.

I'm like, okay, let's just leave it like that. And we're kind of sitting there talking, waiting for our mechanic to show up. And then this guy comes walking back over with a big milwaukee ugga dugga and he just puts it right on there and tightens it all the way down for us after i was just telling spencer like we probably shouldn't screw that thing all the way down he just zips it all the way down to the

fucking head right down to the hex and then he's like well i'll see you guys later and he just left so then we're just standing there like well it's still holding i mean it's still holding air so our mechanic shows up and i'm like i was like did you bring sockets he's like yeah i brought sockets, patches, everything. So I was like, well, I mean, the screw, it looks like it's holding air. Should we just try to go through and unload all this weight and then maybe see about, you know, whatnot? And so they're like, so he's like, yeah, I'm going to do what you want to do because you're the mechanic, so you'll know better. And he's our new mechanic.

And he's like, yeah, let's just take it through there and so we go through this is what i was telling you so um darius is like you want me to get in and help you unload so i was like sure because we have so much we don't have anything big we have thousands of little shit yeah it's not like a lot of weight from big tons of little pieces just imagine unloading like 600 fucking mower blades that we just tossed in there so they're just you can't grab like a stack of them and just you gotta pick up six yeah stack them back up and then pitch them so i was like yeah sure and i was like expecting him to get in the middle and spencer on the other side or either one. Yeah.

And then Spencer was like, I'll just sit in the back. So him and Justin climbed into the bed. And they were sitting on the flatbed. This is when I was telling you about they were teaching their vapes. So we were sitting there. Darius got in the front with me. So Darius rode with Justin? No, he got in the truck with me.

And Spencer and Justin climbed onto the bed. Yeah, but no, but like. Oh, yeah, he came there in Justin's car. Oh. So then we're going through to waiting in line to get on the scale, because they weigh you before, and they weigh you after, and they take the difference, and that's how much you get paid for for the poundage of the scrap metal.

So we're getting up there. We pull onto the scale, and the lady opens the window, and she goes, hey, guys, I can't have you sitting on there because of liability reasons. And I was just like, oh. And she kind of turns around. She's like, oh, actually. And she's like, he's the boss right there.

So I was like. And she was like, he said it's all right if you just sit down or just stay sitting down don't stand up or anything so we're like okay um and then he came and he like went walking away in like a hard hat and a high-vis vest i'm just like i didn't realize the boss man was in there i don't know who that was uh maybe it was king Alter himself. I don't know. It was the guy that just came out and just go, What if it was? Dude, that'd be crazy.

He's like, well, actually, the boss is right here, and he pokes his head around the corner. And it's just the guy. I'd be like, He just pokes his head around the corner, grabs his spinders, and just snaps them. So then we went through, and yeah, that's pretty much the gist of the story. Except...

How long did it take to unload? I mean, quite a while. Because we were taking the individual blades and we were throwing them at shit. This is the best part. I got out and I'm like, this is the fun part. There was a... I'm pissed I missed it. There was only a couple...'s see there was like an

oven that had a glass window that was gone within the first five seconds and then there was a like a white truck door that had like um um like shatterproof glass. So we would hit it and it would just like spider web that spot. Like it wouldn't shatter the whole window. Yeah. And so we were throwing shit at that. I'm going the next time we take junk to the alters. It was pretty fun. So then we pulled.

We pulled. We left. And when we reweighed, we had lost like 3,000 pounds. We had taken like a ton and a half of shit through there see i said we had like a ton and nobody everybody's like well it might not be a ton i'm like you're right it wasn't a ton it was more i was like there's a fuck and i swear when we were loading it every blade you tossed in there, you could just watch the fucking springs just go. The leaf springs.

There's only like three little springs on it. So then we went around to the front and went into the lady to get our check. And then Spencer and I took our cash that we had. I had three bucks and he had two. And we put it in the vending machine. He got an iced honey bun and I got some Skittles. And then we left and we were getting ready to leave. I'm like, where's the fucking check?

And I remember I set it on top of the vending machine. So I had to run back in there and grab it because I forgot it. That would have been fucking funny. They're like, oh yeah, what did you guys get? You're like, well. I ran all the way there and just only got Skittles. Our complete total was enough for an iced honey bun and a pack of Skittles. We actually lost money.

Because we spent it on shit. Oh, fuck. I was like, do you think we made more money off of selling that guy that for $5 as opposed to the weight that it would have given us? Oh, yeah. And he was like, oh, yeah. He way overpaid for that. I was like, cool. That's what Justin said?

No, Spencer. Oh. I mean, they're expensive, but. I should have. I was telling Spencer I should have been like 50 and it's yours. We're at Harbor. We're getting ready to scrap it. We don't give a shit about it.

You're the one that wants it. We're at Harbor Freight and they have one for like 60, but everything at Harbor Freight is cheap. You can get Dugga Duggas for like 50 bucks what brand though like hercules or something like that hercules i don't know if i've ever heard of that but oh for 30 i got us there's a brand we need to get sponsored by what so rich was telling me that we need to get sponsored by heck and dorn have you ever heard of heck and dorn so he was i can't remember need to get sponsored by heck and dorn have you ever heard of heck and dorn so he was i can't remember when we were talking about this it was i think it was when we were on vacation um he was telling me about how when he used to mow they had heck and

dorn mowers and he was like it was all mechanical like Like, there was no, like, hydraulics or anything. And he was describing them to me. And I was like, what? And basically, this is a Heckendorn mower. It's got handlebars like a bike. And it's got the blade underneath and the engine behind you. Because I showed him this picture. He like yes exactly that he's like except that's actually nice compared to what we used i'm like oh my god it looks like a piece of company then and that's what he said he's like i doubt they even are in business anymore

it's a little three-wheeler mower that's sick sick. I know. I kind of want one. I was looking on eBay. They have a vintage one for, I think, like $1,000. Imagine you just see Jake on his trike just... Speaking of tires bulging, if I sat on that little fucking thing, I've seen caster wheels bigger than the wheels on that thing. Oh, fuck. So, just last night, a fucking state trooper, when we were riding in the truck today and saw that state trooper, reminded me of this. A state trooper came speeding up behind me, turned on his lights and his siren. And he was right on my ass.

So the reason why this was so confusing to me was because one, there was no one around. And so he pulled up right behind me. So what would you think? You're getting pulled over? I'm getting pulled over. So I turn on my left blinker because the nearest thing is a left turn. And he's still behind me. And then I'm pretty sure I heard him honk. And then he sped to the right and sped around me and kept going.

And I'm like, you must have had an emergency. He was, it was like he was pissed I wasn't pulling over to get out of his way. Where were you? But I thought I was getting pulled over so i was trying to turn yeah so that he could do a traffic stop on me well you couldn't do it like on the side of the road well so i was in the left lane already there was a shoulder there was a shoulder that was this wide on the right. But also, since I'm already in the lane I'm in, if a cop comes up behind me, I don't want to go into another lane. Because to me, it feels like I don't want to come off like I'm trying to avoid him. Yeah.

But the other thing is that there was nobody. It's not like I was holding him up. There was nobody around. He could have easily just driven right around me and kept going. Yeah. So maybe he was like trying to flex his authority by being like, this guy needs a pullover so I can speed by him. I was so confused.

I thought I was being pulled over. And then he tailed me for like three seconds and then swerved around me and kept going. Yeah, it makes no sense. It was so confusing. Well, like, I usually just... I think you're supposed to pull over. I'm sure, legally, I was supposed to pull over to the right side shoulder. Yeah, and if he feels uncomfortable making a traffic stop there, he'll be like, pull around to the corner.

Or like pull to the nearest safe spot. So I'll describe exactly to you where I was at. I was on Highway 2 as like I was going to turn left to go into Russ's. So I was like, that's a pretty nice long stretch of almost nothing road. Yeah. Because, you know, the train tracks are at the end and that lumber is right there. Or if I got in the right lane and went to turn right, like there's Runza, there's Jimmy John, like there's a bunch of businesses right there. Where would I have pulled into?

The Runza parking lot? If there was nobody in the right lane, why didn't you just get in the right lane and go around you exactly that's why i was like i'm being pulled over so i'm going to stay in the lane i'm in turn left at this lane that's coming up and turn onto this road that has nothing on it yeah that doesn't make much sense and then he honked and sped around me i'm like and you're like i was confused. It was a state trooper, too. It was a fucking charger. Pussy. Come find me.

Oh, fuck. But also, I didn't even know what I was being pulled over for. Looking too good. I thought maybe I was speeding. But then I was like, I feel like I might have accelerated a little too fast right there, back there. Because my car was cold and I was watching all the exhaust come out the back. So I was like, hey, I feel like I'm rolling coal. Even though it was just exhaust.

Eli just got a brand new pickup. Did he? Yeah, he got a... So did Ian. Worked in Ian. I don't know what year it is, but he just got a fucking F-350. Super Duty. Power Stoke.

Super Booty? Super Booty, yeah. He was wheeled in with that on Friday. That's sweet. Oh, my God. We need to go bowling. Okay. Me and Bailey went bowling Friday night.

Okay. And we went to Parkway Lanes. And there was a bunch of guys from Wilderness Ridge there. Nuh-uh. Yeah, there was like golfers. One guy was having a small conversation with me because we were riding in line. And then I seen another guy come up with a Wilderness Ridge shirt. I'm like, oh, you play out there?

And then we got talking bullshit. And then we got talking bullshit and then we got the lane was he a member yeah well i guess there was a bunch of them there's like 12 of them that remembers that's so funny you say that because i also ran into a member but you tell your story first um so we got the lane right next to him and i was doing my two-handed spin deal and i it usually works pretty well but I was bowling like dog shit. I'm doing my two-handed spin deal. I had one

and maybe I was just spinning it that much but I had one that was like I'm not shitting you. It literally was like about ready to fall in the gutter and all the guys from wilderness ridge were like I don't know how that's staying up. I don't know how that's staying up.

It went in the gutter on the left side it almost went in the gutter on the right side and went you're like what kind of oil pattern is on this lane i don't know i don't think it was oiled enough because i was watching a guy down the fucking way and his ball is spinning perpendicular to the lane like sideways completely sideways like you know they have like the pool ball looking ones there yeah the number is like this down the lane and the ball just the ball's going straight down the lane that had to look weird but mine's like what i'm like what the fuck so i'm just bowling like dog shit and then this black dude comes up to me and i'm like sitting at the deal are you not wanting the mic to pick this up no no there's this black dude comes up to me, and I'm like sitting at the deal. Are you not wanting the mic to pick this up? No, no.

There's this black dude that comes up to me, and he goes, hey, how do you do that spinning thing? Hey! And I'm like, I don't know, and I showed him. You're like, well, I just used my other hand to steady it. He's like, just rip it. Well, I just want you to know, I've never seen a black person that's good at bowling. He said that to you? Yeah. And you're like, well, maybe you to know, I've never seen a black person that's good at bowling. He said that to you? Yeah.

And you're like, well, maybe you should be the first one. And I was like, just try it. It can't go that bad. And he tried it and threw it in the gutter. He's like, that is why brothers don't bowl. Just walk back to his seat. You're like, he tried it and he bowled a strike. And I'm like, there you go, Cam.

And you're like, in the other lane. Oh. And then. That is there you go, Cam. And you're like, in the other lane. Oh. And then. That is why brothers don't bowl. Every time I would bowl, he was like. Because, like, we had, like, a weird, like. We had, like, the perfect timing. So, I would bowl.

And I'd be walking back to grab my bowling ball. And he'd be, like, walking up to bowl. And he's like, form looks good. Every time. And then we became, like, decent friends with them or whatever. That's so funny. This lady in their group was like decently fucked up. And the dude that asked me this.

Put a weighted ball into the hand of someone. I don't want to continue to call him this black dude, but this guy. The guy next to you. Yeah. He actually was really good at bowling. So he was self-deprecating quite a bit. Well, but... By being like, there's never been a black person that can bowl.

He was, like, saying that by, like, he couldn't do anything, like, cool with the ball. He would just, like, straight down the lane. Hey, guess what? Straight down the lane. If you laser that thing straight and get strikes, you're a good bowler. You don't have to spin the ball to be a good bowler. And he was actually, like, good. Like, he kept he kept hitting like the strike spot yeah the pocket and he hits a strike and we're both walking back at the same time this lady that's pretty fucked up in his group just screamed

you asshole at the top of her fucking lungs because he bowled a strike and like i just looked at her and she's like i'm sorry i'm sorry and then she's like, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. And then she just, like, proceeds. She's like, not you. She gets a little quieter, and she's like, fuck you. I'm like, you're not that quiet. She's like, not you. I just thought black people weren't good at bowling. But, anyways, where I was going with that, the Wilderness Ridge guys, they got two lanes, all you can bowl for $125. So, I was, like, doing the math. I'm like, all you can bowl, that's, like, $60 in one lane, right?

Huh? Now, how much is $125? What 60 bucks in one lane right huh now how much is 125 what split between one lane what's split between one lane like what's 125 divided by two 125 divided by two would be would be 62.5 okay so i was thinking about that, and I'm like, okay. What do you mean split between two? Because there was two guys. No, they bought two lanes. All you can bowl, and it was $125. So $62.5 per lane. Yeah, and then I got to thinking.

I'm like, that's so stupid because we pay. But if you get three people on a lane, then it can be $20 per person. Yeah, and we pay $45 an hour. $35 to bowl for one hour. They're getting the bulk pricing for one hour and i'm like that makes a lot more sense because one hour is not enough you pay for another hour you know you never know like if you if you're having fun two hours could go so then you're paying 35, and then you pay for another hour. There's $35 more. So now you're up to the same amount you'd be paying for all-you-can bowl.

It's like the thing that happens when you go to an all-you-can-eat buffet. Yeah. You think that you're getting a hot deal, but really it's not that much different because they're counting on you getting full. The only way that you would really break the system is if you just had an endless pit of a stomach and could eat a bunch. And in the same way, they're probably counting on these guys only playing like two or three games and then getting tired of it. I was just thinking like the Wilderness Ridge guys, like they were like boom they were like boom boom boom boom they were sitting there like drinking their beers having fun and i was like that's so much better because you can bowl three games four games whatever you want you don't have to rush and you don't have to rush it's not like dude it's your turn go go go

we only got five minutes left yeah yeah yeah like when there's like three minutes left and then it's just like well i guess we'll end in the seventh frame and that's what i got to thinking one hour me and bailey alone we played two games okay but if it's say me you bailey and lena we go out we took us or we get the whole crew together yeah split it up yeah we could do two lanes if we wanted to if we had that many people i'm down but i was like because if there's four of us and me and bailey we could only play two games in an hour and that was like us at the end like her giving up and like i was just like fucking do you know i used to have a custom bowling ball really one of my ex-girlfriends was a bowler and for my birth i think it was christmas she gave me a custom bowling ball you're like oh thanks i'm like oh it's a bowling it was cool it was cool so she took her um well

for one it's destroyed um two so he's telling me you rolled it down the street. Oh. So she took me to her dad who has a bowling shop, but also a record store. It's attached wall to wall. The walls are attached and there's a door you can pass between the two shops. And on one side it's a vinyl store and the other side it's a bowling shop. Where he'll, like like custom drill your balls and like so i had to like measure my hand you know but they fitted my ball for if i was a good bowler which is your thumb goes all the way in and then only right here and right here go and you put these little rubber things in so that they were tight against my fingers.

Yeah. And it was getting to the point that, you know, I was drinking and gaining weight, as people do. And so my fingers weren't really fitting in the ball anymore. And also, I don't go bowling enough to need a custom ball. And I honestly felt like kind of an idiot for walking into a bowling alley with a custom ball and then being a shit-ass ball because people were probably just like you know when you see someone walking with a custom ball you you gotta watch him throw yeah

you see someone with a custom ball you're like i want to see what this guy can do. And then I walk up there. And. Honestly. Do as you would probably expect. Honestly. I've been contemplating getting my own bowling ball. Get out of here. Because I have like super fat knuckles. You sound a lot like someone I know that listens to this podcast.

Ew. Leave a comment. Who? No. Oh, well. I'm not name dropping anyone. Who? No. Oh, well. I'm not name dropping anyone. My knuckles. My knuckle.

I don't know. I got. Like, my fingers aren't that big, but like my knuckles are super. I have big knuckles. And it's hard. You got to go searching through the entire bowling alley to find the one ball that fits you. And then it's like a fucking 25 pound bowling ball. And you're like.

Yeah. I don't know i think it'd be fun just walking there with your bowling ball that it's a weight that you like it's pretty fun it was scented what yeah a lot of custom bowling balls are scented what is it vagina i can't remember did you like did you just like it smelled like regret. You know how people had their rag that they... They had their rag to dry the oil off the ball? Did she just like use her cooch? Did she just like... Zing!

No, she didn't strip down in the middle of a bowling alley. That would have put more oil on the... Anyways. So since i didn't use this ball anymore when we were living at the last house at a certain point i think i was just like let's just destroy this thing like for fun so we took it out in the street and we were just taking turns throwing it up in the air as high as we could and it would come down and just bunk and like a little piece of it would chip off. And we basically just did that until it was destroyed. And then I threw it in the garbage.

We didn't roll it down the street or anything. You probably could have sold that for like, good money. I can't remember. I think I might have tried to. And I don't think there's much of a market for used custom bowling balls that are specifically fit for one specific person. Well, they can't take the rubber gaskets out? They could. They're not gaskets.

They're like, I don't know what they're called. And you just get a... Finger inserts? I don't know. You get a Facebook message from your ex-girlfriend. You're like, hey! She's like, I bought you that! No, I'm pretty sure I did try to sell it because I was like, I wonder if she'll see me trying to sell the bowling ball she got me and say something.

So they've got like a little practice lane in the bowling shop. Like it's literally just a hallway with just pads on the side that you can practice throwing your ball. And the first time I stuck my fingers in that ball, I don't think I've ever stuck my thumb all the way in. I've always just kind of grabbed it like this, you know. Like stuck my thumb all the way in i've always just kind of grabbed it like this you know like curl my thumb around the inside part and curl these around and that's kind of how i would grab it i've never stuck my thumb all the way in so it's straight and then gripped it out here and i don't know what happened when i tried to throw this but i went to throw it and it had like reverse spin and they're just like that's not supposed to happen

and i'm just like i'm not a good bowler you are you but i'm not you go you go bowing and just fucking bounce his office you're a good bowler i'm not she was on the bowling team oh fuck my uncles gave me shit for it. I was like, yeah, my girlfriend bowls at this high school. And they're just like, oh, bowler. I don't remember what they said. I just remember them kind of giving me shit for it. You're like, thanks, asshole. Yeah, they were kind of giving me shit for it.

Oh, man. And I didn't really appreciate it very much. But. I was a while ago and I don't really care anymore. But. Obviously, since I fucking. I mean, we were. And then we also took it into the, like, the lawn.

We threw it up because we wanted to see how big of a crater it would make in the ground when it hit the soil. Not that big of a crater, but it made a nice noise. But, yeah, bouncing it off the ground was kind of satisfying. We should go Saturday. Don't tell me you've ever wanted to take a ball. You haven't ever wanted to take a ball and throw it up in the air on a pavement. Oh, a bowling ball, 100%. Yeah.

It's pretty nice. Just, boink, and the piece is chipping off and flying everywhere. Saturday, we need to go. Saturday? Bowling. I might be splitting wood Saturday. We can go for glow ball, dummy. Glow ball? At night.

When they shut the lights off. So we're gonna go to the Stars and drink tomorrow night. We're drinking tonight. Then we're gonna drink Saturday night. This isn't drinking. We're enjoying it. Monday we're gonna have a watch party for the championship football game. We're gonna drink that night. Yeah. So what? Sunday we're gonna take a day off? Yep. God. Yep. football game we're gonna drink that night yeah so what sunday we're gonna take a day off yep

yep well that's fine because i gotta um take down our christmas tree saturday bailey was trying to get me to do that tonight well we gotta clean the apartment but she was like let's uh yeah text her that we still got 10 minutes left um you want me to text her yeah okay i don't know i'll just snapchat her hey i'm supposed to tell you we have 10 minutes left okay bye there we go so she's gonna be angry cole you know my friend cole he was telling me that they had some acres ale at at their family Christmas. Or I think it was like the ornament exchange or whatever. Because he was asking me about it before.

Yeah. Because he saw a can of it that I had. And I was like, I really liked it. I was like, it was good. And he was like, we finally had that Acres Ale. And I was like, oh yeah? And he I was like, it was good. And he was like, we finally had that Acres Ale. And I was like, oh, yeah? And he was just like, yeah, it was horrible. I was like, huh?

And then he was like, yeah, me and all my uncles said it was, we just called it water beer. And he was just like, yeah, we just, he'd be like, hey, you want a water beer? And I was just like, oh, maybe that's why I liked it so much. Because I like beers that are just flavored water. Oh, that just reminded me, talking about beer. With this certain thing we had going on, I had to get nice clothes. We weren't coming all the way back here, and I needed nice clothes. And Bailey needed nice clothes.

We'd go to Cardi with her parents. We parents we eat at cunningham's on the lake and they have like they have a tv that goes through their beer menu and it's like seven pages long like you can get like that's nice though you can get like ipas all that shit and so they had a beer from colorado that i was like maybe that's like a bush light it's called tavoli um high something something it's a light beer it was a light beer so i'm like okay yeah was it like an ale or maybe maybe it was light ale i don't know i'll look it up i had a blonde um but it wasn't like uh i don't think it was like wasn't like a stout or anything like that no it wasn't like like that kind of beer it was more of a like i think like a home a lesser known man domestic yeah um It was like a brewing company made a domestic style beer.

Okay. So I got one of them and I'm like, I'll take a pint of that. And she comes back and she's like, well, they poured you a tall and you paid for the pint. So here you go. And then I was like, okay. And then I really wanted a Snow Beast. Have you ever had a Snow Beast from Kinkader? Oh, yeah.

Delicious. I'm not a craft beer guy, but Snow Beast is delicious. Kinkader makes good ones. Sun Beast. Sun Beast is good, too. So I was like, yeah, can I take another pint of the Kinkader Snow Beast, please? And she's like, do you want the brown sugar rim on it? She said, do you want the sugar and cinnamon rim i was like

it was brown sugar cinnamon rim i'm like yes we are trying it it tastes like a cinnamon roll um that almost sounds like a dessert beer as you guys don't know it's a as you guys don't know as you guys might know as you guys don't know as you's a... As you guys don't know. Well, as you guys might know. As you guys don't know. As you guys might know. Especially since you don't even know what I'm about to say. A snow beast. As you guys... I don't know if you guys know or not.

If you know, you know. If you don't, well, then I'm about ready to inform you. As you guys don't know. A snow beast is a very heavy beer. It's a very dark lager. Lager. And it's like 6.8 alcohol by volume. So it's pretty.

It's not horrible. No, but it's a pretty like hefty beer. She walks back with another fucking tall. Yeah. And I just ate. Like, sorry, I messed up again. You're like, you're just trying to get me fucked up, aren't you? And. And I just ate. Like, sorry, I messed it up again. You're like, you're just trying to get me fucked up, aren't you? And so.

I muted that. I had. Oh, it's this. I had a Juicy Jack. It's a burger and they put pepper jack cheese inside the burger with, and it has like lettuce and all that stuff on it and it has like cilantro on it. And it kind of tasted like a taco burger. Like it had like lettuce and all that stuff on it and has like cilantro on it and it kind of tasted like a taco burger like it had like taco flavor to it and i had a shit ton of fries and it's a three-quarter pound burger so it's a damn size burger uh yeah um it's almost a pound of meat

so i was like i was stuffed when i got down to that and i looked over at bailey and i'm like i did not want this much and that's the only thing i've ate today so my body hasn't processed the food that i'm drinking and then i'm just like gunning beer well not really gunning but that's a lot of alcohol really their talls were a lot of alcohol yeah it's a decent amount and i always think draft beers hit harder yeah i well so a pint i got something well that's a pint and that's how big their pints were and their tall is like bellowed out so a tall is probably 24 i don't know what it was there but a sil A silo? Maybe. Yeah, I bet. A 24 is what a 4 Loko is. Yeah, probably.

Yeah. 24. So, a 24-ounce draft beer. I had two of those. And then I was like, God, this fucking Snow Beast is so good, but I could, like, feel myself getting full from it. Like, beer is very filling,

and that's, like, saying, like, domestic. Well, the carbonation and all that shit is making it bloated. But I also think draft beers are a lot more filling than. Maybe. Actually, I don't know. Well, when they put the head on it. Yeah. And then.

And there's more carbonation. It was so good. Or just bubbles. And my burger was eh, all right. I didn't really like the tacos. It was kind of throwing me off. But it was a weird mixture between cinnamon roll and...

Is that my phone? That might have been mine. It's like, I just can't stop drinking it. It's so good. It's 5.30! It's so good, I just can't stop. But, yeah, dude, we're gonna try that. Maybe we'll pregame with it tomorrow.

Wait, so we're gonna make our own? Well,. Maybe we'll pregame with it tomorrow. Wait, so we're going to make our own? Well, yeah. We'll just get glasses and then get brown sugar and cinnamon. We're just going to make our own? Yeah. Okay. It was so good. Okay.

You got to try it. By the way, Pig said he's in. So I'll get the four tickets for us tomorrow. Anyways. Real quick. So we were on, for New Year's, we were on a 50-person party bus. Oh, yeah. Which was greasy.

It was like being in a nightclub, but you couldn't leave. At first, I was nervous, but it was a lot of fun. I have to admit, it was a lot of fun. 50-person party bus? 50 people. Minimum. Fuck. 50 people.

But on, so we drove around around it was from 10 to 1 it was from 10 p.m to 1 a.m oh i had this great story i was gonna tell you i'll save it for the next one um because we gotta go cam's gotta go we were on this 50 person party bus and we stopped at one bar can you guess what that bar was jj's the roca tavern ground zero dude when we were talking about when cam got too drunk it was at the roca tavern where our former co-worker bought him all these shots please tell me current co-worker please tell me he wasn there. He wasn't there. He wasn't there. Okay. But a member was. Maybe even a couple, but one for sure. You know how I know?

Because I was drunk, and I came out of the pisser, and I recognized this guy, and I go, you a member of Wilderness Ridge? And he's like, yeah. And I was just like, and I shook his hand. I'm like, I'm Jake Killam. I'm on the grounds crew. And I was fucked. I told all the guys at the bowling alley that I was your assistant. You said I'm the assistant to the assistant superintendent?

I said I was the second assistant. That's technically what I am. Whether they want to give me the title or not. Whatever the fuck it is. I don't know. They never release it. Tom's technically the director but super and then uh so the girl that was at bailey's uh thing really quick i'm gonna like speed run this no yeah yeah go she's from norris and she's

like they go to the roca tavern quite a bit and she said the roca tavern on saturdays is like fucking crawling with party buses she said that is like like the stop on Saturdays when you walk in there. It's fucking packed. I bet. Honestly, that might be where they get a lot of their revenue. Why? I don't fucking know. Well, I don't know.

Maybe because it's Roca. And it's the only place. Maybe it's because their beers are so cheap. But you would think they'd get smart enough by now that they're like, eh, we'll buff it up on Saturday. We were there on New Year's Eve. We were there on New Year's Eve and we walked in and it was shoulder to shoulder. Yeah. That place was packed with people.

And where was I when the ball dropped, do you ask? Well, I was sitting at a bank shop machine. Because I sat down right next to the dance floor, which had a lot of people on it. I sat down, and I did have a funny quick encounter that I will tell you really quick. So, we were walking through there, and this lady goes, Hey. I'm like. Like I thought she might have known me or something. Because I had just ran into the guy.

It was literally right after I pissed. And met the guy. That was a member. She goes. I was like. Oh shit. Maybe another person knows me. You know.

And she was holding a container of grapes. And she goes. Do you want to eat 12 grapes? It's good luck on the new year. And I was like... No, I don't want to get roofied. I was like... First of all, I was like, are these, like, vodka grapes or something? Like, I don't even...

I don't know, like... Yeah. I don't know. And I'm just like... You know what? I'm pretty full. I was like, I've had quite a bit of beer. I'm pretty full.

I don't know if I can. And she's like, but it's good luck. She wasn't laughing at my jokes because I was just like, the other thing I said was I was like, my record, I've only ever ate 11 grapes. I don't know if I can get to 12. And she was just like like the kurt angle meme she was like you're making me fucking uncomfortable and i was just like oh and then i walked away um but i was sitting at a bank shop machine jokingly i sat down while these people were on the dance floor i was like like let me pull up a germ and then i was jokingly like pressing the button like oh

and then ian opens his wallet hands me a hundred and goes put it in that motherfucker and i was just like oh so i've never played it before to be honest i've never played a little slots machine or gambling machine i only saw spencer do it so I knew how to play it. I've just never done it before. And so we put a $100 bill in there. And basically it's a penny per credit. So we had. 1,000 credits. No, 100,000 credits.

I think it was 10,000. There's 100 pennies in the dollar. Times $100. 100 times 100. So yeah, 10,000000 so we had 10,000 credits whatever and I didn't realize I was like hitting it and like doing the things and but I was only doing 25 bets you had like 25 25 it goes like 25 50 100 400 I think yeah that's what I used to do so then I'd realize I looked down and I saw how many credits I was going through. And it was like nothing compared to how many we had. And so we switched it to 400.

And then hit one. We hit one that was 25. So we got 2,500 from it. And he's like, cash that motherfucker, guys, that motherfucker. We took the thing out and it was like $14. But it was like 114 because we put in 100 so we made 14 and took it up there we're like and then i took that profit i think it was 12 i took that profit and put it in lost it he put in like a 20 or a 10 he made a

little bit of money and we dipped and then as we got on because i was sitting there playing when lena came over to kiss me because the ball just dropped i was sitting at a bank shop machine when the ball dropped um but then when we got back on the bus i hopped on that motherfucking ox quick i hopped on that bluetooth and i blew the roof off that thing nah but it was a pretty lit especially being able to be the dj for 50 people was pretty sick sounds fun it was a lot of fun um oh yeah i only had i only got one beer at the bar i was like i had to pound a pint because that's what we did at uh your birthday roll the clip of me pounding a pint um so i was like ian i was getting one for ian and nick her other friend lena's friend my friend whatever my girlfriend's friend from high school that's now my friend because i'm her boyfriend um he

wasn't he didn't want anything i'm just like uh-uh i'm getting three pints um so i got up there and i was like can i get three pints of bush light she's like yeah she turns around and she grabs two pitchers off the wall and i was like i said i was like pines it was loud in there I was like, three pints. Three pints. And she turns around and she's like, cans? And I'm just like, 16 ounce pints. Like, I literally yelled the ounces. I was like, are you going to pound a pint? Let's go.

Cam's going to pound a pint. So what what happened was look at that head um i was like before we go i was like 16 ounce pints and then she grabbed two plastic cups that held pints and she filled them up and i was like come on we got a pound of pint and so i was like front and center nuke and then he came up well he didn't he just kind of was behind us and center, Nick. And then he came up. Well, he didn't. He just kind of was behind us. And Ian was standing there. And this other guy, this random, we'll call him random bystander. Random bystander was standing right behind me to my left. Uh-huh.

And I, we got our pints. And I took mine, set it on the counter. I took it and I gulped that thing down in like two gulps and I turned around and the other guys were just like, like they didn't know what to do. And the guy at the random bystander just goes, well, that was fucking impressive. I was just like, thanks. This needs to hurry up um what in the world have you ever poured a beer before my god you fucking fooling i'm trying to are there any more in here oh yeah we had five four brought five

i mean the magic mini fridge spawned in 5 Do you need some of my Earl Alright Cam is going to pound a pint Well the golf ball looks kind of weird Through the liquid While Cam works on this While Cam works on this We're going to wrap this up and i'm gonna say thanks for

watching um oh he's gonna pound a pint time it he's pouring it all over himself like a fucking fooley i don't even know if that's in frame you might not even be in frame you need to get over finish it off there you go here i'll for solidarity i'll uh i'll chug the rest of whatever the foam was fucking me up i couldn't fucking breathe well you wore half of it i know i was inhaling the foam you cook and now all your foam is messing up mine all Alright. Thank you guys for watching. While Jake does this, go ahead and go to our link in our description on our Instagram. Code

grass at shankygolf.com I was going to say, what website does the Naked Coach use? For 50% off. Oh, by the way. 50% off? 15.

15% off. He said 50. I was like, can I use my own code? 15% off. You said 50. I was like, can I use my own code? 15% off on their website. And they just released their own putter. If you're in the need for a putter, go over to Shanky Golf and get 15% off of your putter using code GRASS. If you only listen to this, you like that I'm in your ear right now.

What are you doing? Are you riding in a car? Are you in a mower? Where are you at right now? All right. Pound this fucking pint. Spotify and Apple Podcasts. I'm going to pound this pint and then we'll do the outro.

It's not a pint. That's how full mine was. Really? So it was only part of your can? I thought you opened a freshie. I did. Took a schluck. Have a fresh one.

Put your pop down. Throat game on fleek. Chill. He's had a lot of practice. Until next time, if you're going to plug a tire, make sure you melt that thing. Peace out. Peace out. Peace.

I'll be back again and again and again and again and again and again. Thank you.