Grass Daddies Podcast - Grass Daddies Podcast Episode 25: Colder than a Witch's Tit in a Brass Bra

Episode Date: January 15, 2024

In this episode of the Grass Daddies Podcast, the boys come to you live from the Arctic Circle where Jake talks about his egregious experience at Casey's as well as his troubling dreams he's been having. The boys also explore the idea of what it would be like if you could look at the obscure statistic from your life ie. how many steps have I taken? Or how many jacks pizzas have I consumed? SHANKITGOLF.COM Code:grass Follow us on Social Media! Youtube: grassdaddiespodcast Instagram: @grassdaddiespodcast @kamdenwellmann @jakekillham Tik Tok: @kandenwellmann (yes that's how it's spelled) @jakekillham11

I mean, I'm not a quitter, but I quit football. I mean, I did. And I think maybe my subconscious, like, can't take it or something. You need to go back. I'm always dreaming about meeting with the coaches. You show up one day, you're like, yep, 33. I dropped out of Midland once. I ain't doing it again.

Can we get some monsters in these water coolers? Because I gots to get my go my go-go juice welcome to the are you stretching your throat out that's cam i'm jake and we are the grass daddies um first off apologies for the last episode for whatever reason uh we didn't have a video element because um apple is just sus i don't record this on my phone talking your mic we record this on my phone. Can you lift it a little bit? Like lift that up just a little bit. That might make it easier for you. I just want you to be comfortable, but I want to be able to hear you. Anyways, we record this on my phone and I had plenty of storage, but.

Yeah, no, you definitely had plenty of storage. But it just didn't record. Like, it stopped after, like, 13 minutes, which is such an obscure number. Yeah. And I looked up afterwards. I'm like, why did, you know, and other people had the same question, but it was like, why did mine stop after 30 minutes? Or, you know, I don't know if the phone thinks it's being overworked. It'll like stop recording to preserve,

like if it's overheating or something, but have you ever heard of a phone overheating besides if it's like being cooked in the sun? No. Like when you're out on the beach or something, I could see it with like an older phone. Mine's yeah. You have the newest phone, right?

Well, maybe second newest now. Yeah, second newest now. But apologies for that. And also, for whatever reason, we didn't have an audio only for episode 23. I don't know how that happened. Might have to do a re-upload for that. We are in shambles, ladies and gentlemen. We might have to do a re-upload for that, but then we're going to have episodes out of order, which, ooh, that bothers me.

That makes me want to fucking, I don't know. Just makes me want to stretch my throat. I love how you just so candidly asked me that last night. I just go to chug a beer last night because we had the boys over to watch a cheese game. I go to chug a beer and there's this guy I've been watching on TikTok that just like pounds entire beers in one gulp using like a plastic cup or whatever. Because he can like, you know, just like open his throat, open his throat and pour it down. And I've been, I guess, working on it. I've just been trying to chug lately. And Cam just, I pounded one and cam

just goes you stretching your throat out like don't say that in front of the boys don't don't ask your friend here he is candidly like no joke just candidly you stretching your throat out as if i've been like working yeah i've been taking dicks in it every night yeah like what the me and my girlfriend we went down to adam and eve and i bought a dildo it wasn't for her it was for me i love when people find out that i have a podcast and they're like what do you guys talk about i'm like i almost don't want to i almost don't want to suggest my podcast to people. Like our boss today was just like, do you guys try to talk about turf on every episode? We're like, no.

We do not talk about grass on every episode. Very rare if we do. But I've got a couple things that I want to talk about today, and I've got some stuff written down. Cam, did you write stuff down? Did you bring anything to the table, or are you just winging it like the guy we were watching on TikTok? I'm going off my dome. Okay, well, before we get into that, though, do you want to crack this thing open, see what she's got? What was that face? Some deliciousness.

Somebody must be a pansy a coors banquet you know it's kind of funny because i've as of recent i've been getting into monsters so it was kind of nice that the mini fridge spawned one in hey uh and um monster sponsor us come on now you know what i'm like i was drinking one the other day next to it and and I wonder if it's like our phones, you know, when they listen to you and they provide you with ads. Yeah. It's like I was talking about it, and it just kind of spawned in there. A little tonic for the nerves. Let's have a schluck.

Let's have a schluck. I'm going to have to go get a monster. That sounds really good. I already have grocery shopping after this. I'm not gonna lie. I bought two. But I didn't want to give it to you because I wanted it for myself later on. It's fine.

Man, that first sip of... It's pretty selfish. That first sip of monster just be it. It's cool. It's alright. Dude. Something I am really looking forward to monster you should really listen to this but uh monsters releasing their rehab alcohol what is with dude these these brands they're like okay there's a seltzer market now let's

make seltzer but then they're like let's make um lemonade now it's lemonade seltzer now it's tea now it's like how many different versions it It's like they're like Taco Bell. I don't know why I said like a Taco Bell. A Taco Bell. They're like Taco Bell. Oh my God. They have like five ingredients and they somehow make like 15 different. Yeah.

Options using like the same five ingredients. Are you a Taco Bell or a Taco Johns? Now I used to scorn Taco Bell. I used to say, no, I'm only Taco John's guy. But as of late, you know, once you become an adult and, you know, savings get tight or like money gets tight. Taco Bell is not a bad option given the fact that you can get, like, ten items for fucking seven bucks. Yeah. If you play your cards right.

But, like you just said, they have five ingredients, and they're all the same thing. The only thing that I've realized that actually tastes different than all the other shit is, like, the grilled cheese burrito. So, I'll say this. Taco John's's is better quality but it's a lot more expensive i mean i guess you're getting what you pay for i think taco john's tastes better and is better quality but i do love the grilled cheese burrito and the cheapness of taco bell is nice you can you can get like a you can literally get like a solid meal for like five dollars yeah but like bailey we had this discussion i think with her i don't know colleague but because they like crunch wrap so much that's how they depict if they like taco john's or taco bell is is because Taco Bell has Crunchwraps.

Yeah, I mean, I don't know. One particular item. Okay, but I don't like Taco Bell because the only thing you can get on the menu. You don't like Taco Bell, you like Crunchwraps. But the only thing you can get on the menu is like a burrito or a taco. And to be fair, Taco Bell has Baja Blast. And Doritos Locos Tacos. Those are two big selling points for Taco Bell.

My thing is, at least with Taco John's, you get something as a side. I don't know what it is, but that side just is always good. You know? Yeah. I mean, the Olays at Taco John's are... I mean, we can make a pro cons list maybe we should do that one episode like pro cons of like taco john's versus taco bell pro cons of like mcdonald's versus burger king subway versus jimmy john's like that'd be pretty that'd be a fun episode

do a pro and cons list yeah um also subway says advertises that they freshly sliced their meats they fucking don't because we went there this morning for breakfast and they did not touch the fucking meat slicer so like you saw them switching over from breakfast to lunch and they were just like bringing out tubs you're like oh well where's that where's the slicer well you see the slicer in the back but the weird thing is you know it used to be all glass so you could see like the meats but now they just have a big metal thing that goes over it i'm like so now you guys are just hiding that you know oh my god you know what i just remembered there's this joke i love by jim gaffigan where he was talking about subway and he was like i saw someone walking into the back and i'm like

what's back there he's like because the kitchen is right here like this is where you make the food so what's what's going on in the back room back there what is that you know it's probably just storage or whatever yeah it is kind of funny to think about normal restaurants it's like the front counter where you order it and then the kitchen's in the back yeah where are you going like this is the kitchen um that was really funny secondhand being told by me wasn't it um but you know what talking about how taco bell only has five different options made me think of have you listened to the fucking pizza ranch commercial on the radio have you heard it uh-uh they're like they're like come to pizza ranch where the number

he says the guy says something about 14 million something or something and he's like because that's how many different combinations of pizza we can make and i'm like no you can't 14 million what do you mean well how many what okay 14 million that's like sonic which sonic you can do like a shit their slogan is like you can make 43 000 different drinks with stuff that they have are you including like counting this drink typically comes with 10 ice cubes or you could do nine ice cubes with this or 80 ice cubes with like what what are you basing for the variations well they have like at sonic you can do like they have they have, like, different flavors. Also, if you guys like Sonic drinks, because I'm a big, like, if I'm going for a drink, I'm going to go get Sonic.

I'm not getting Sonic food, because Sonic food tastes like shit. But if I want, like, a drink, I'll go there. If you go there to get drinks, install the app. Because Bailey got, like, two drinks for us, and it was, like, two bucks. And then we went one day, day and we didn't order off the app and we just went through the drive-thru and it was like seven i was like okay um while we're on the topic of ranting about um food places i need to give the full in-depth story and analysis oh yeah happened to me about casey's because i i wanted to tell it on the last episode, but we ran out of time

because we were rambling on about other shit. And I kind of had to get grooving. We were, like I said, on a party bus on New Year's Eve, and the plan was to pregame. Well, it was a 50 person party bus and there was a pre-game that the other people were doing at someone's house now again we didn't know most of the people so we were like I don't know if we really want to go there so there was like a small group of us that are like Lena's friends from high school that are becoming my friends um that would be like the majority of the people we knew so we're like let's just do our own little pre-game um we'll do it at our house me and lena's house lena and i's house and i was

like i'll just like order like four pizzas for everyone and you guys can all just like venmo me or whatever and everyone's like yeah that sounds good and I'm like the party bus is from 10 to um 10 to 1 and I'm like I'm gonna need to take it I need to time this just right and I did I nailed it because I like took a nap from like 5 to 6 30 or like maybe maybe 4.30 to 6.30. Woke up and drank a Monster. And I'm like, now I'm good. You're wired. I'm good for a while.

But so I woke up. I remember this. I woke up probably 6.25, maybe like 6.15. I woke up and I'm like, I looked at the casey's website i'm putting them on blast i'm saying their name because i usually go i'm an advocate for casey's i'll say that i am an advocate for casey's it's pretty sad i think because you hear like new y York and all those places, they have the best pizza. I'm just looking for a place to like get decent like pizza. Casey's is good. That's what I'm saying.

Like it's sad. You know there's no good fucking pizza places around when Casey's, a gas station, is making your at least top three every time without fail yeah they're a convenience store the second best pizza i have had in this town is golden goat pizza and the dude cooks it out the back of a pickup anyways i love casey's pizza so that's where i'm ordering from i look on their website. I have the app. Because I'm an advocate. Need them Casey's Rewards points.

Okay? The wait time is 100 minutes. Now, 120 minutes is two hours. So, 20 minutes less than two hours. Yeah. Okay.

Follow me. So, um. So, an hour and 40 minutes. Yes. So, I placed the order at 6, like 6.30. I remember this. 6.30. So, I'm like, great.

It'll be ready at 8.20. Perfect. Perfect. They're coming over. But, they said they're be ready at 8.20. Perfect. They're coming over. But they said they're coming over between 8 and 8.30. We can pregame until our heart's content. Because we'll have plenty of time. We've got to be on the party bus by 10. I go there at 8.20.

I go in there. I tell her my name. And I knew it was going to be a shit show. Because we've experienced this a couple times. They're not very lickety split when there's something like a big game going on. Or like in this scenario, you know, New Year's Eve. People are staying up late. so they're ordering pizza later that's probably why there was such a long wait time um so i get there and i tell them my name they're like it's going to be like another 30 minutes and i'm like okay yeah i was kind of

expecting that whatever not everyone has showed up yet so we're good i guess um and there was one guy that walked in and he said his name and they're like it's gonna be another 20 minutes and he just like threw his hands up in the air and then just said you can just cancel it and walked out like there's people getting heated their pizzas are going slow okay so i go i literally just drive back home because i'm like two minutes away and i wait i'm like i'm gonna wait till nine o'clock that's about 30 minutes you know um i go back i say my name hoping that they're done and she's like it's gonna be like another 10 minutes and i just go i didn't say anything i didn't you know i just kind of put my head back so i'm just like oh because i'm also hungry and i'm trying to get food for people because we're about to get on

a three-hour party bus we need to eat before we start drinking well yeah she goes i'm going as fast as i can that's what she said when she saw me throw my head back like that and i was like okay so i went bitch you had this order for three hours i ordered at 6 30 it's now nine o'clock yeah fuck sakes it's now nine o'clock i ordered at 6 30 so i'm like i'll just go i'm not gonna go home now i'm just gonna go sit in my pickup so i went out into the parking lot sat my pickup for like 10 minutes um 10 or 15 minutes i came back in waited or she said 10 minutes i came in said my name she's like it's gonna be another 10 minutes so i'm like um so I'm like, okay.

So I was standing in the store waiting at this point at 920. I'm looking at my phone this whole time because we've got to go. Yeah. 920. She goes, I'm starting your order now. She didn't start making the first pizza, getting the dough out and rolling it out to make the first of four pizzas that i ordered till 9 20 and i ordered at 6 30 okay she should have said hey i will start your order in 30 minutes 20 minutes but when they say it's gonna be another 10 minutes i think i'm gonna walk in

in 10 minutes and take my pizzas and leave yeah the thing that was the real bitch about it and i'm sure some of you might be thinking this why don't you just cancel your order like an hour ago because i paid for it as i ordered it which was a mistake i normally pay in the store yeah um but i was like i'll just pay now so i can just get it and leave because usually casey's has a long line so i was like i'll just get it and leave um at this point people are getting ready to uber over to the place because it's 9 20 and the party bus is at 10 and it's on the north side of town yeah so i was like well now i don't know what to do at this point now we're basically saying fuck the food and now i'm just trying to get the food that i paid for and i can eat it whenever yeah so i'm waiting i'm waiting i'm waiting and she said she

was working as fast as she could but she was also kind of jabbering a little bit with the lady that was also back in the kitchen with her so i'm just like really are you really working as fast as you can i don't think so um and so lena's like calling me like where are you at and i'm like she just started she's like are you fucking serious and so i just asked the lady i was like can you just like cancel my because i was like i literally was just like i have to be on a party bus at 10. Um, like I need to go. Is there any way you can like cancel my order and just like put them in the, put them in the food things like the Spinger things.

And they're just like, well, I just put one in now. There's going to be one that's ready in five minutes and the other one is right behind it if you just want two of them. So I was like, sure, if you can cancel half of it so for all i know they canceled half of it i didn't go look in my bank account i'm sure i'm sure it was taken care of because i had to get a manager's approval to cancel it so i took two of the four pizzas sped home hopped in just hopped right into the car and drove up north and half the people were already there so we there was four of us in the car we ate one of the pizzas on the way up there and then when we got there gave the other pizza to the other people because they hadn't

eaten yeah and they probably they already probably vinmo'd you did they i can't remember what a shit show i think i told them not to worry about it because i only paid for half of it well um so and then they ended up taking the pizza on the party bus so well see like our casey's back home was like pretty new and they were pretty quick with pizza like you could call it a pizza go pick it up in 15 minutes and it was completely done yeah but well and sometimes this casey's is like that if it's just a normal night yeah but when they get bogged down they need to update their system or something well 100 minutes was flat out wrong there's like which we didn't have to wait it was like a longer wait that we were used to one time and i went and picked up like two pizzas

yeah i think we were at my i can't remember where we're at we might have been at my friends we just ordered some pizza but there's a dude that walks in, literally has nine pizzas. Oh my god. I'm like, okay, if you're doing this, you need to go to Pizza Hut or something. I feel like Casey's Pizza is a place... This is a gas station that also makes pizza. You should go to a pizza place where they have a pizza staff. Yeah.

If you're going to order that many pizzas, which the only other thing was Pizza Hut that actually made pizza. You need to go to a specialist for this kind of order. But I'm like, really? Nine fucking pizzas? Take that shit to the hut. This place is a fine dining establishment, not some buffet for you. That's what I'm saying. Nine fucking pizzas from a Casey's.

That's wild. Like, okay, I get it. Casey's is good, but, like, nine fucking pizzas, really? That's wild. Or, like, if you're going to do that, you should probably plan. Yeah. You should. Like, plan before supper rush sometimes you well you should call ahead and let them know like hey i'm gonna have a big order i think that's what people did for da vinci's when i worked there yeah and they would set like a time that it needs to be ready by so we would know like in the morning that we had to have an order ready by like six

so they would be like slowly making it along with the other orders yeah so everything could go out at the proper time it's like well in the all the apps and stuff that you order off probably have like a set baseline they probably don't like add together times for pizzas you know so if you order four pizzas it probably is about the same time it's going to take to cook maybe two maybe one they probably give like a buffer but you order fucking an extreme amount of pizza they're like okay well we got six orders and now we got the amount of 12 people trying to order fucking pizza from one person yeah that's when they should probably call them and be like your order is gonna be a while because we're gonna make yours along with everyone else's like

it's gonna be every other pizza that goes in it's gonna be someone else's yeah but so we are recording this on the day that i will probably upload it. I usually upload Sunday night. It is Sunday right now. We've been tired this week. We, yeah, it's been, we had the one episode where it was so hot and we were talking about times we were really cold. Now it's the complete opposite. And it's brutal. It is frigid outside. It is about, I think the low today is going to get down to 21 with wind chills like down to minus 40.

Not 21, minus 21 with wind chills down to like 40 and 50 below. I think tomorrow they're talking like record lows. We just hit record lows last year around this time, and they're talking even lower. So now we can talk about times we were the most hot, and we can just flash back to last episode when we were really hot. We're like, man, it's so hot outside. But we've been going back and forth from work, moving snow, putting out ice melt. Waking up really early.

Waking up early. So we kind of procrastinated a little bit, but we're still doing it. But, I mean, I'm kind of used to it. Like, all in high school, I procrastinated a lot bit but we're still doing it um but uh i mean i'm kind of used to it like all in high school i procrastinated a lot did you procrastinate in high school yeah it's called ed you're like no i didn't do assignments at all pretty much i procrastinated to the point where i'm like oh well then i just go like sugar up my teacher be like hey can i have sugar up your teacher can i have like see me in my office the rest can i have the rest of the day to get the assignment done and they were usually like

yeah and so i'd sit there in my homeroom and just fucking do all my assignments for like i i had that a couple times there was like an english teacher i had where i really had to get this writing assignment done. And I just like went into her room after school and just, just cranked out like a story. I just came up off the top of my head off the top. Dude, I procrastinated so bad that I, do you dream about school ever?

Like being back in high school or college? Really? Cause I do all the time anytime or yeah anytime that i'm like having a dream about school i'm always dreaming about sports um and also being like oh fuck i have a bunch of missing assignments or i have an assignment that i really need to get done that i haven't gotten done yet so we have a bunch of missing assignments or I have an assignment that I really need to get done that I haven't gotten done yet. So we have a segment called Cam Rants, but I think we might need to introduce a new assignment for me or a segment for me called Psychology with Jake, a.k.a. what that mean so if you guys have something that you know you're pondering you're mulling over in your in your head and you just can't understand it leave a comment and ask me what that mean

and i'll try to break it down as best as i can with my not finished psychology degree that i was attempting for um but that's probably got to be one of of the things about sports is I'm always, it's always like right before the game is about to start. A lot of times I never actually get to play anything in my dream. Um, the other thing, and this is wild to me, I, I always have dreams that I'm going back to Midland and I'm saying, fuck it. I'll, I'll come back and get back on the team again. All the time. And I think it's because I never really quit anything in my life.

And that's like the one thing that I like quit. I just didn't want to do it and just didn't stick it out and just quit. I didn't get burnt out. I just didn't like it and I didn't want to do it. And so I just quit. I mean, in the very definition of just being a quitter. I mean, I'm not a quitter, but I quit football. I mean, I did.

And I think maybe my subconscious, like, can't take it or something. You need to go back. I'm always dreaming about meeting with the coaches. You show show up one day you're like yep 33 i dropped out of midland once and uh doing it again we get some monsters in these water coolers because i got to get my go my go-go juice um but that's kind of i mean i'm sure that could say a lot about my subconscious like having the desire to finish like not leave that i don't know yeah how would you say that leave that bridge burnt no just i i i don't know get retribution i, for quitting the sport. Yeah. I didn't finish. You know?

Yeah. I don't know. Apparently it's weighing heavy on my subconscious because I dream about it all the time. I mean, I don't... But I'm also conflicted in my dreams because I don't want to, but there's like a force that's driving me to like finish yeah i want to get i just want to do it so i'll be done with it i i don't dream of it but like golf in high school i was a really good golfer all through high school and then we had covid which is our junior year so we didn't get

to play golf in junior years like when you get all you start talking like all college coaches and do all that's when you start looking at college well and then my sophomore year of golf i played really shitty because i hit my growth spurt like freshman summer were you like outgrowing your clubs and stuff well i just i grew so much there's like a complete different swing and i was like really not uncomfortable i was like i was not comfortable yeah yeah and so i was like figuring it out again and playing a brand new sports i had never played really besides i knew how to do it i just was hard to do it and then junior year hit covid missed all that shit didn't get a play and then senior year i was just like i'm just gonna work i didn't even play senior year man but golf but golf is one of those sports that you can go out and play it competitively.

Like, I could go out and play in a tournament right now and get retribution for it. You can't really do that with football. I can't go back and play college football. Ever. Really, any football. You could join, like like a flag football league i mean if i really really wanted to and have the desire to i could probably get on like a full pad like indoor football team or whatever but that's just not the same it's it's not essentially i'll never be able to play football again. Yeah. Which is crazy. And I think that's something that...

Like, competitively. I think that's something that my subconscious is thinking about. Dwelling on. Yeah. Well, and to be fair, I also dream about baseball a lot. Yeah. And playing baseball and, like, pitching. Which, I finished that.

I mean, I got as far as I did in that. I played through high school. And I think maybe I just have the desire to get back out there. Yeah. That it's something I think about and dream about playing. Well, we've been talking about, like, dude, I just want to do something to get active. I don't give a fuck. But the thing is, we're so inactive during the winter.

We're like, I want to get out and do something. But in the summer, we're so worn down. Even if we're not even moving, if you are just sitting on a mower, but you're still out in the heat, your body is still grinding and using energy to try to regulate your body temperature. Because you're so hot, your body's working hard to cool off. So even if you just, if you laid in the sun all day, didn't even move a muscle, you would feel tired. Yeah. But we're also lugging around 100-foot hoses full of water

for hours at a time. So we get so beat down that the idea of going and playing a sport well even i'm saying like in the winter we could do something you don't have to be in the summer because like you said we are active in the summer that's why i really want to get like a wine membership if they weren't so fucking expensive yeah because i want to go play some hoops but we really haven't even we really haven't even worked like that many hours this week but no we've been waking up so early and haven't like a nap is not the same why take one hour like sleep added on to on to my sleep, then an hour nap.

Just like we talked about in the one episode with psychology with Jake. AKA what that mean. What that mean? Hey, I'm having some weird dreams lately. What that mean? Leave a comment. But, yeah. Yeah, like... It's... I think it's... It's crazy how much the sun rules your life. Because you get so much sun that you're worn down in the summer.

But then in the winter when there's an absence of sun, you're also worn down because... Like, you need a healthy balance of sun. Well... Because not getting sun in the winter is what causes like seasonal depression and shit i think i think like right now i haven't been working we haven't been working as many hours but i think my body just gets tired because i have big ass snow boots on i have coveralls right right heavy shit and you're just lugging around in it. The wind's beating the absolute fuck out of you. And you feel slow. Freezing cold.

Yeah. I always say, like, I feel like everything slows down in the winter. Yeah. Because you have to bundle up. Like you said, you're wearing all that shit. It's like you're wearing an astronaut suit. Yeah. And the wind's beating the shit out of you and when you're that cold i think that's why

like when i'm on the ventrac i get so annoyed because it feels like time just stops and right i'm just doing something and it's like i'm not fucking getting anywhere right i look back and i'm like i feel like it's been 30 minutes since i just started this and I've gotten 20 yards. Yeah. And I wonder if like, I wonder if you're, if our bodies are acclimating to, since we've been here long enough, if our bodies know like, this is my time to rest because of how hard I went in the other season.

Yeah. So maybe our bodies also are trying to like, I don't know. Oh, we're hibernating like bears not really it's just i think a lot of it is is even when like in the summer when we have like a day off i have a lot of energy through that day because like my body's been prepared for it it's been preparing since spring i altered like the early parts of summer i've been super active my energy levels are high and then i think my mind starts to tell my body like in the winter like oh i'm being lazy i'm just sitting around watching tv i'm going to work we're not really doing much and so my body gets in this groove like not having to

work very hard not being active and then yeah and then we have snow and it's like boom boom boom boom boom boom boom like we got you're worn down yeah and then because fucking man yesterday right when i got home i was so tired this morning i woke up and it just felt like i was dragging ass like i was walking with like 50 pounds behind me just pulling me i was so tired this morning i woke up and it just felt like i was dragging ass like i was walking with like 50 pounds behind me just pulling me i was like well and i went and took a nap and how long was your nap today uh 9 30 10 to like one two that that might be bordering on a sleep i would dude i needed you might have gone through a couple sleep cycles i was that amount of time fucking exhausted i don't know what it was but

i was beat see but it's not that bad in the morning like i've always been like an early early bird like if i wake up super early i have more energy than if i wake up at nine o'clock but it's the fact of okay i think my body paints a picture of i'm waking up at 3 30 to get to work and then i'm like okay well now i should be off work once my eight hours or 10 hours hits and then they're like well come back at fucking and then i'm just like oh i'm trying to recently i've been trying to take my own advice and like i'm trying to get up at my first alarm yeah so that i don't snooze for nine minutes fall back to sleep and wake up again fall back to sleep and wake up again rather than just sleeping all the way and getting a little bit more sleep rather than setting my alarm an hour early and

sleeping for 30 minute increments trying to just get it all at once yeah because i'm the one that said that's the thing but i well and i've been doing that a little bit because i get like anxiety so i wake up super early because i get anxiety of being late places right that's fair so i'll wake up hour 30 minutes two hours before i have to be at work and then i'll take the dog down that's pretty early and then i'll sit like in my recliner and just scroll through my phone or yeah whatever but at least then i know i will be there on time but like this morning well like all this week i've been kind of work like trying to work on like uh good balance like still waking up early that i have plenty of time to do

it but not like okay i can get an entire extra hour of sleep instead of waking up two hours and then just being super tired but i don't know this week has sucked is what the gist of this story is yeah well um don't really know a good way to segue into this, but I've got another thing that I'd like to talk about. Go for it. And now I'm going to kind of rant a little bit. Go for it. Jake rants. What in the fuck are with these recipe websites?

Because on my way home, I was like, i kind of want chili you know it's cold out i guess this is kind of a segue it's freezing cold out what's better to eat when it's cold out than a nice hot stew or chili or whatever i just set some chili out last night it's perfect yeah anything you can really tell in the winter because like the other night, I told Bailey. She's like, what do you want for supper tonight? I was like something hearty as shit. You're right. And so we made like chicken and rice, but it was like –

Store them calories. Had like a lot of – it was just like something that you eat a little bit of and you're like, god damn, I'm full. And that's what I like. And that's what chili is. Right. So I was like i've actually never personally made chili before usually just have my pop make it for me um so i was like let me look up a recipe and i'm just like what are with these recipe websites where

you go and you look at them and there is so many ads have you ever gone on a recipe website yeah yeah yeah there's so many ads in front of you you well one time speaking of ads brown-eyed baker i'm gonna get i'm gonna get this i'm gonna this can be like a little 30 second cam rant section okay but uh one time i looked up a recipe i was like oh my god all right i figured it out. This is what I'm making. I went to the store, got it all. There was an ad popped up, and there was three more ingredients at the very bottom of the ad that I missed. They cucked you. Dude, look.

It's like, okay, something on the bottom. What is that? Oh, it's scrolling with. When I scroll, it's stopping on the screen and blocking the words what? How is that? Acceptable it's like you're it's like it's like you're at a sports game And there's a guy two rows in front of you with a sign and he's like trying to put it in front of your face So you can't watch

It's like I don't I'm trying to I'm trying to see what I need to get or Sometimes there's websites where it's like you click on it and you're like, I can't even find the ingredients. Yeah. Why doesn't it just – Instead of having like an ingredient list, they like put it through a fucking two-page book and I'm like – Yeah. For fuck's sakes, I just need to know what the ingredients are. All you got to say is one tablespoon of this one tablespoon of this okay put this stuff in once

this stuff's done cook for 45 minutes on 450 thanks classic beef chili recipe on the brown eyed baker this is how it starts it doesn't start with can of beans other can of beans mixed with for this time, it starts with, bring on the comfort food with this thick and hearty ground beef chili recipe, packed with ground beef, a blend of spices. Yeah, why don't you tell me what those are and how much to put in. Let's scroll down a little bit. Around the end of summer, I start itching to grab a mug of my favorite hot chocolate,

bust out my Dutch oven and churn out some of my favorite cold weather comfort food favorites i'm gonna yeah that's what i'm trying to do too and that's why i came to this website to figure out what to make scroll down a little bit well i've tried quite a few plastic chili recipes i still haven't blah blah blah blah blah this is thick chili to me either where is the recipe can i get the recipe let me scroll down oh there's an ad blocking it i can't see okay let me see oh wait there's a links to other websites um it's telling me what they are but not not how much. So I got to keep going. Alternative meats.

Don't give a fuck. How to make the chili. Heat oil. Like. Yeah. I'm tired of it. Well, see, that's what I'm just tired of it. That's what I have started doing because Bailey's dad is an amazing cook. So he'll be cooking something when we're back.

I'm like, oh, what's the recipe? And then he'll have his recipe that he's wrote down, and I'll just snap a picture of it. But I'm going to start writing it in a fucking recipe book. So when I do want to cook something, I don't have to go through this hassle. Right? I'm going back to 1960s, baby. You're like, how do I make that? And he's just like, hold on.

Let me get my laptop. He's like, I got a presentation on with a lot of ads yeah but yeah like um can i get the premium version of brown eyed baker please something really cool is his grandma used to make German cookies. They have like an, I can't remember what they're called. She has a recipe online. Somebody posted it. How do you make German cookies?

Gas oven? Yeah. I'm sorry. Boom roasted. The other thing I really wanted to talk about, this might be the way we can end the episode. This has absolutely nothing to do with anything, but it's something I randomly think about. Pussy.

Do you ever think about... Burping? Do you ever think about if you could pull up a spreadsheet of random statistics about your life do you ever think about that yeah wouldn't that be sick one of the things i always think about is i wonder how many jack's pizzas i've eaten that'd be very cool yeah yeah what's the number I feel like I've eaten hundreds, maybe even close to thousands of Jack's pizzas. What? Jack's pizzas. Now we're going to have to have a fucking hockey night, play some hockey and make tricked up Jack's.

You acting as if I did something wrong. That sounds like an amazing idea. Why did you do that? Why did you make me want something? Well, have you been stretching your throat? But, like, what are some other things? I wonder how many tubes of toothpaste I've bought. I want to know how many total miles I've walked in my life.

That's another good one. I wonder how many total miles I've walked in my life. If you base it off, like, I want to know, can I walk completely across the United States? That you probably could figure out. If you, with, like, our phones. Well, yeah, but they don't have a total. But they might have, like, an average of how many steps you take in a day or a year. Yeah, but.

Day, month, you know, whatever. I'm saying, like, all the way back to, like, the first steps I've taken. Well, I'm just saying if you just if you made an assumption you could probably average it yeah like i don't know if the average person walks 10 000 steps a day yeah assuming you're really active do you think we're up like a million five days do you think we're up to like a billion let's just figure it out well let's just assume i want to know if i could have walked from california all the way to the east coast and from the east

coast all the way back to the west coast oops dude why are you taking pictures of my p my fee your p um so 10 000 let's just say we're walking an average of 10,000 steps a day. Okay. Times 365. So that's 3,650,000 steps in a year. Now, given that you're not going to be walking that much in the first few years of your life, let's say. I would just take that number and go to like. 18? in the first few years of your life, let's say... I would just take that number and go to like...

Take that times 18? Yeah. So from the age of five? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because five, you're going to be running around. Five, you're running around, and anything over assuming... I mean, 10,000 steps is pretty active.

Let's just say... I think that's about an average baseline. Let's say that this is a fairly active person. Okay, we'll just take it times 18. Yeah. So that's 65,700,000. And now look up how many steps to cross the world. The world?

I'm going to say how many steps are in a mile. Okay. How many steps are cross the world? The world? No. I'm going to say how many steps are in a mile. Okay. How many steps are in a mile? About 2,000 steps make up a mile. So divided by 2,000. So that's 32,000 miles. Right? Yeah.

How many miles is it from Los Angeles to New York? 2,445. So we could... So... You could go back and forth about 10 times. 2,000... 245? Yeah.

You could walk back and forth 14 times. Well, back and forth 7 times. Yeah. 14 trips in your lifetime amount of steps. That crazy that's a lot we are both does that seem accurate we are both in our early 20s does that seem accurate yeah but just think how much more life we have to live and we start walking more how many miles is it around the world? It's equator, the Earth's circumference is 24,901 miles. So we could cross...

So you could walk across the world with some change. Let's go, baby. I've walked across the globe. Missed the world wide. That's crazy. That's a crazy statistic. That may or may not even be remotely true or accurate. I think it's pretty close.

All right. All right. We don't have to do it every episode. But I mean, okay. But one episode. This is average. We should try. That would be kind of cool. We should try to get a statistic from our lives.

A crazy statistic? Like that. We could walk around the world with some change right now. I don't know. Like with the Jack's Pizza thing, if I had one, I don't really eat them that much anymore. Let's say I've had one. Definitely copping some at Walmart. Let's say I've had one on average once a month.

Is that fair? Once a month, once every four weeks. Let's have that as our statistic. So there's 12 months in a year 12 months in a year and I'm 26 years old so 12 times 26, 312 I feel like I've eaten more than 312 Jack's pizzas

but this is average If you make average assumptions Quote of the day If you make average assumptions You can come up with spectacular results Quote of the day Now I got like a little bug in me that i want to start keeping something so i can like something crazy like that like jack's pizza start keeping track make a tally yeah and try to

like hold on to it and so then once i'm like that old guy giving advice i can be like yeah here's a crazy statistic for my life and they're like how do you know that you're like because i tracked it for my entire from when i was 21 until i'm 95 this is looking all my jack jack's plates and tabs grandpa i just keep all grandpa tell me about what it was like working on the golf course you're just like well it was all right but in my lifetime i've eaten 6 852 jack's pizzas so like imagine you just keep all the cardboard discs from the bottom oh my god you could your kids are when you die your kids are going through like your why does grandpa have all these totes they just open up it's cardboard fucking grounds ba Bailey's like, don't ask. That was his thing.

Nobody questioned it. At a certain point, he kind of lost his mind over it. The guy that's kept all of his Big Mac boxes. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. But that guy's had one a day since he was like in his 20s, I think. True. Which is wild yeah i wonder how i wonder i want to get that guy on the pod so he could tell us how shitty big mac guy on the pod i'm wanting to tell me how shitty big macs have gotten

not he loves them dude no i know but i'm saying like they used to be like oh how good they used to be versus what they're like now a big mac Mac used to be – I remember even like growing up, like my dad and brother, we'd go or like my mom or anybody I was with that liked Big Macs. They would order a Big Mac and it was – and so I was always like, I want a Big Mac. I want a Big Boy. I want a Big Mac. You eat it and you take like three bites and you're like, oh my god, I'm fucking stuffed. Because the fucking patties were like yay thick. Yay thick.

And now you get them and if you hold them up to the light, you can probably see light through them. That's a thin ass patty, yo. Can't remember what, I was going to say something else else how many rocks have you thrown in a lifetime how many rocks have i thrown i don't know see like statistics like that that'd be fucking oh i know what i was gonna say i i think i'm somewhat of a collector it's so satisfying to me to amass a collection of things over an extended period of time like those golf balls yeah so satisfying that i can like look at a physical tote of a just a mound of pro v1s that i've like collected over like i don't know the course of five years i guess

because i'm sure i started bringing them home when i first started there um or like um like the the the ceiling with the beer boxes like collecting beer boxes and being able to see the progress i collect crown apple bottles there's somewhat of a satisfaction with it how many crown apple bottles do you have? Not very many. Oh. You're like, well, one, I'm starting the collection. Well, I collect crown apple or crown bags. That's my new hobby. Oh, that's cooler. Crown bags.

Well, no, the bottles are pretty cool. Well, I'm starting to collect. The bags are sick. I'm collecting bottles because I want to make a decoration with them. And since they have plastic lids, I want to drill a hole in them and then take like Christmas lights. Yes. I've always wanted to do something like glue them in there and then like put them on top of our cupboards. That would look really cool.

I've always wanted to do something like that. Take like something that's like that because it's like, oh, my God, you're walking bottles are in the way. I'm like, they're cool. At least make them look good they're cool all right um so i was playing fortnite with trace and we're in the middle of an intense game this is some important shit here okay i know you're laughing he just talked about fortnite but i get a facetime from cam what dang that's how he always starts off the facetimes what doing i'm like i'm playing fortnite with trace he's like look at my cool new um decoration or project

i made and he holds up this crown apple body with bottle with green liquid in it i'm like what is that like a crown apple bottle with water and green food coloring? Yep. That's cool, buddy. I was getting crafty with it. I was like, that's cool, buddy. You're just like, yep. Well, I suppose.

And then hung up. All he did was call me to show me his crown apple bottle with some green food coloring water in it and hung up these are the kinds of conversation the calls i get yo look at this bro you never know what you're gonna get when you see his phone when you see his phone calling a lot of times i facetime jake it's just i could literally just snapchat a picture to it but i'm like dude dude yeah a snapchat definitely or even a text message would have sufficed you could have been like hey i put green food coloring and water in a crown apple bottle i'd have been like that's sick i wanted to put glitter in it glitter yeah pour glitter in it so it looks like

shimmery you could have put um you could have put some like oil in there and made it like a lava lamb that'd be cool whenever you want to spruce it up you just drop an alka-seltzer tablet You could have put some oil in there and made it like a lava lamp. That'd be cool. Whenever you want to spruce it up, you just drop an Alka-Seltzer tablet in there and it... Make a... He called me today. Sometimes he'll call me. Sometimes he'll FaceTime me when I'm in my truck.

And I'll have my phone in my pocket and I'll just answer it on my dash. And then I'll just hear... Like it's the FaceTime thing. And I'll just be phone in my pocket and I'll just answer it on my dash. And I'll just hear, like it's the FaceTime thing. And I'll just be like, what's up? But I will not take my phone out of my pocket. Even though I know it's FaceTime, it'll just be dark for him. Because I'm just like, I'll just have this talk. And when you do do that, I'm still like this. You're like, hey, what's up?

You're 100% in my pocket right now i hope you realize i know it you're like hey look at this and i'm like that's sweet they're like all right what are you looking at the road and then just well a lot of the time that's how our family is when you talk like me and everybody if you're gonna call you might as well facetime well no not really but i just facetime everybody because by that time i'll end up i think something's really cool and i'll just show them that and they're like yeah that's fucking awesome that's that's wicked buddy that's so good for you well and i just i'll have a conversation with somebody or like i'll call them and if i just feel like the conversation's going nowhere instead of sitting there and awkwardly i'll just be like yep all right well see ya i'm not sure

what you just said you were talking so fast i said, if I get into a conversation with somebody and it's not going anywhere or we're not having a conversation, I'm just like, well, all right. Can you tell when someone's like, they don't really want to talk to me right now? Yeah. That's not every time I call you. No, that's not. That is not true. Not every time. Just most of the just most three quarters of the time three well you seem to always call me at the worst times when i'm beaten off when i'm laying the wood when i'm playing video when i'm sleeping when i'm just woke up or i up or when you're in my pocket.

I think people – okay, honestly, most of the time I just FaceTime you because the last time I called you was FaceTime instead of going to your name in my contacts. That's fair. It's just like the first thing that pops up. That makes sense. I can still talk to him whether it's in his pocket or up his ass. I can still talk to him. So I'm just – Oh, what's up oh where am i right now

and they just hear dude you were ripping some disgusting farts last night oh dude you were so bad it was just it was horrible i think the chicken and rice was starting to go bad god yeah they were fucking bad. That's the thing about having those hearty winter meals. I'm going to... If we make chili tonight... I'm excited to see what baby...

I'm going to peel back Lena's wig. I think white chicken chili sounds good. Her eyebrows are going to be singed off if she keeps that bed sheet over her head. Do you guys have a white chicken chili make sounds her eyebrows are gonna be singed off if she keeps that bed sheet over really what do you guys have a white chicken chili recipe um yes lena has a she makes some really good white chicken chili do you put fritos in your chili or do you put tortilla chips or do you not put anything you Do you put crackers? I put crackers in it. Saltines. Suss. Saltines and a dollop of sour cream.

Well, dollop of sour cream, that's acceptable, but I just... And about three pounds of cheese. I can't get... I just... I can't get on the saltines anymore. Once you go to Fritos, you just... There's no return. There's nothing better. I've never tried it. You've never put Fritos, you just, there's no return. There's nothing better. I've never tried it.

You've never put Fritos in, like, chili? It's so good. It's delicious. Delicious. Next time you have chili, or if I have some leftover chili, because I'll probably have a bunch of leftover chili. We have chili right now. Bailey's dad made it.

Oh, yeah. He vacuum sealed the bag. Put some Fritos in it. Eat it. Put some Fritos in it. Eat it. Put some Fritos in it. I'll buy a bag of Fritos. Chili we're making is going to have deer meat. You're going to use your deer life?

So hopefully it's good. It'll be good. Hopefully it doesn't suck. People don't like deer, and it's like... It's a little gamey, but it's not like... It's not really. It's not like you're eating alligator meat not really maybe not gamey but it's just a red meat it's just a really red meat it's so lean i don't know i think some people just they can they're so used to having hamburger they're not

used to having something so lean i'm like when they eat it they're like dude i crave like that shit like i i told bailey i'm like there's a meat market in omaha that sells like that stuff like not just standard meats and i'm like i'm tired of eating fucking beef and chicken all right how long do you think beef jerky or like sausage like little wrapped up things are good for little meat sticks if they're dried out forever well i don't know if not dried out the reason i'm asking this is because a couple years ago when we were in colorado i was at this like jerky store and i got like one of everything like i got kangaroo alligator ostrich yeah yeah yeah i know what you're talking about they haven't met shields do you think those would still be good yeah 100 because that would be something fun we could eat

on the pod actually give analysis on actually i don't know but they haven't met shields yeah we could go and get some some more idea for a new episode i don't know i don't know, but they have my shields. Yeah, we could go and get some more. Idea for a new episode. I don't know. I don't know if those would be good because they store them. And it depends because Bailey's dad makes... We can go up right now and look at the dates on them or whatever. Bailey's dad makes some mean old-fashioned jerky.

I don't know if you know what old-fashioned jerky is. Like super dehydrated? That's where they make it. It's like a fucking brick when you bite into it like leather brick yeah but you break off a piece and you let it sit there in your mouth and your saliva loosens it up but it lasts for fucking forever because there's nothing in it that technically can rot and that's why it's called old-fashioned because like when the pioneers and shit that's what they would do they'd dehydrate their meat to that point so yeah so don't go bad also i've been watching videos of a guy we gotta

try they've been putting it on their smoker dude but they've been taking prime cuts of meat or like anything and they've fucking been like crusting it in salt and then they right they smoke it in the salt and then so the salt also cooks into it but i think i've seen that too makes it super tender because all the fluids and stuff get like encrusted in the salt and they yeah it sucks the moisture out yeah we should try that once once this um arctic temperature that's outside goes away i'm busting out the smoker because i've got a big old deer loin that i need to smoke too it's fucking cold everywhere dude you cannot get away from it our apartment has been we were doing good like we weren't running our heat or anything

trying to save on like our electricity. Because you can always wear more clothes. But lately, we got that bitch fucking maxed the fuck out. I've been wearing long johns with everything in my apartment. I believe there was one episode where we talked about your temperature gauge is your willy. Yeah. The way you gauge your apartment is if you can walk around naked and be comfortable. Yeah.

I'm off. I'm Well, I'm off. I'm off. I'm off. I put some sweat. You need to recalibrate your sensor. It's getting a little out of whack. I put some sweatpants on with some long johns, and we're full shaft, baby. Well, it wasn't what temperature doesn't make you get a boner. No, that's how I tell.

If it starts becoming inverted, then it's way too cold. If it starts going inside. It's like Groundhog's Day. If it sees its shadow because it's so long that it can see its shadow on the ground, then you're good. But if it curls back up inside. And I got to pick up my little stomach to see it, then it's way too cold. If you have to pick up your stomach to see it,

then either your stomach is too big or your dick is too small. I'm not gonna say. And with that, I think we should end it. Masters don't tell their secrets. Thank you guys for watching. I'll try to make sure I get this audio up and maybe re-upload the audio for episode

23. Go to Grass Daddy's podcast on Instagram and use code GRASS at Shank at Golf to get anything. If you're a grass god, which didn't come from Shank at Golf, you can get 15% off anything on their website. It doesn't really help us out it does a

little bit but all the funds that we do end up getting from that you using our code are gonna go like i was i was looking at possibly getting actual like camcorder for this because and i'm about to get up and look at that phone and if it's not recording i'm someone's gonna get hurt we're gonna throw the magic mini fridge through the wall um but to ensure that doesn't happen we can use sd cards in a camcorder while we're live we're fucking golden we're golden baby um i can see you right there and you can see me because um the last episode that was on youtube only got like 9 views so it's almost as if there's a direct

correlation between if there's not a video component people don't really want to watch because the one before got like 43 views maybe we should do a vlog that's not what I was saying but sure well everybody likes the video aspect of it we can also talk in it but we can just go do some bullshit and vlog it that's not what I was saying, but sure. Well, everybody likes the video aspect of it.

We can also talk in it, but we could just go do some bullshit and blog it and see. There are no guidelines to this channel and or might be a podcast, but guess what? Grass daddy's vlog. Grass daddy's game. Grass daddy's cooking. That would be fucking hilarious.

Thank you guys for watching Until next time Stay warm Keep your beanies tucked Make it hot I'll be back again And again And again And again

And again Very good.