Grass Daddies Podcast - Grass Daddies Podcast Episode 35: Pressure Building
Episode Date: April 3, 2024In this episode of the Grass Daddies Podcast, Jake talks about his difficult post-lunch buffet car ride home with his girlfriend's parents. The boys then talk about their school's unnecessary purchase...s and past march madness bets. SHANKITGOLF.COM Code:grass Follow us on Social Media! Youtube: grassdaddiespodcast Instagram: @grassdaddiespodcast @kamdenwellmann @jakekillham Tik Tok: @kandenwellmann (yes that's how it's spelled) @jakekillham11
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I toss down some fried chicken. I go for the lunch. I get fried chicken. I probably had like five pieces.
And a couple piles of cheesy potatoes. Some corn. And a handful of sausage.
By the time we get in the car to go home, my tummy starts rumbling. The way you said handful, it just made me picture you at the fucking...
Just reaching my hand out.
Yeah.
Tossing it on my plate.
Have you noticed that?
It's done in a couple...
Can I do the intro for Christ's sake?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Just kidding.
No, you go ahead.
Welcome to the...
No, God!
Podcast.
That's Cam.
I'm Jake.
And we are...
The Grass Daddies.
What were you saying?
Hang on.
We apologize for a little bit of the delay of putting...
What do you mean?
This video.
March Madness was going on and Jakeake could not miss a game not us
recording after the podcast is what is i used to i used to shit on people that you talk like that
like the tiktok thing like not me blah blah blah yeah but now i'd have tiktok and i just can't help just can't help it but um oh you flipped the mic as you were
okay that was one minute it took him one minute to notice i recorded a little snippet
before you got here where i said i switched the mic the booms around i wanted to see how long it
takes cam to notice i don't know if i'll put it in maybe i just noticed because this was this high i'm like damn it why you in my face homie damn it um but we have so many things going on at once okay we'll get back
to that yes apologies for uploading late um it's march madness for those of you that live under a
rock um and last week the game started um and i was like i really want
to watch these games like fuck it we'll just do a late upload because i mean nothing stopped us
from doing a late upload before so this is actually a good reason to do it so we'll probably record a
double today and um sorry for the late upload but suck a butt um anyways have you noticed that like there's been like a couple days where it's been
like super cold and shitty and we're like yeah let's go home like today sucks it's dragging ass
and then right as we leave work it gets night like sunny out like in it like it's not as bad
right now as it was like when we were like cutting the tree down i'm like yeah i could have managed the rest of the day if it was
like well yeah but bear in mind that our our work schedule like our day our daily work schedule
is like vastly different than the average american because we usually start at like 6 a.m that's like three hours before yeah people normally start
we eat lunch at 11 a.m yeah have you ever stopped and thought about that yeah we're going to chipotle
at times where people are normally eating breakfast and we're getting fucking donkey
cock burritos right when the door opens we're mad rushing the the line yeah
like sometimes sometimes we're waiting outside for the person to unlock the door
to get our burritos i mean like a couple times like i've called my dad over lunch he's like
you're eating lunch now i'm like yep we eat lunch at 11. So, going off of that, like, a lot of the times the hottest part of the day is, like, 5 o'clock.
Yeah.
So, like, by the time our day is getting close to wrapping up was when the heat of the day is really getting close to starting.
Yeah.
So, I mean, in a way it kind of makes sense.
Like, a majority of our day is morning yeah like
80 of our day is morning time true so that would explain why especially on a day like today where
we left early yeah so you notice that i switched the booms um basically because i'm i don't want to hear it anymore like
i am always telling you to talk in your mic and you're like well you give me a shitty boom and
it doesn't work this is actually not my idea leno's like why don't you guys just switch booms
once and i'm like because i wanted a nice one but well it just she's like well he likes to fidget and move around a lot so
now if you feel like just going like this with your mic as long as you keep your lips up in that
mic hole you can move it out a little bit i wasn't i wasn't sure where to put it because i
wouldn't i wasn't sure where you'd want it or how you'd like it. So, I'll let you get your
bearing straight here. There's no adjustment up on that
arm.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Take your time.
I gotta flip this around because it's in my eye.
As Cam's talking
into his mic and no one can hear him.
Just kidding.
She's like, why don't you tell him to talk into the mic?
Because we were watching a snippet of our last
episode. Like, we were watching a little bit of our last episode like we were watching a little bit because um our little furry friend martin made an appearance and martin
and martin she was like i want to watch the part where he comes in like she didn't give a
fuck about cam and i talking she just wanted to see the part where he was on she's like go to
the part where he jumps up on the table i want to see it you're like i was like okay
um you don't care about us so so that's when we were she was like we were watching the episode
and she was like why don't you tell him to talk into his mic and like there was in the time we
were watching there was a good three or four times where i was going like this like gesturing for you to talk into your mic yeah yes
yes and so um and so she's like like why don't you keep why don't you just tell him to talk
into his mic I'm like I do and like when I'll go back and edit or when I'm listening like there's
times where I can barely hear him and she's like why don't you guys just try switching the booms?
Since he likes to move around a lot.
And then he can adjust it to his liking.
And then you can just sit with the shittier one,
get it stationary where it's stable,
and just talk into it.
That's nice.
Is that where you want it?
Yeah.
So you don't have to...
I mean, you can literally move it up to your lips.
Like, pull it up.
Yeah, no, like right here.
I'd like to see over it.
Like, this is good, right?
Yeah.
I'm, like, talking right into it.
Yeah, as long as you...
Now, don't move.
Don't move.
For the next two hours, you're going to sit right there.
And we're going to...
I'm just kidding.
I have a cappuccino in my hand we're not i'm gonna flame your ass right now again
i think it was on the podcast you're like you always bring it up
yeah like i get tired of it like you were crying like a little bitch
you were getting all butthurt.
Cause you're like,
you always bring it up and it's always my,
I'm always wrong.
But now recently you've been trying to rub it in my face.
And I'm just like,
yep.
You're the one that said you wanted to be done arguing about it.
So I'm done arguing about it.
However,
there was,
I don't remember what it was,
but Lena and I were watching,
I think it was a movie
where someone was like that i swear to you the actor was like do you want to go get a coffee
or like a cappuccino or something like or they were like we could go get a coffee
get a cappuccino like they were yeah ensuing that they were one in the same
all right anyways we're selling argument right here
settling it no no no i'm like not arguing we're not arguing about it anymore i think
i've said it before that it does have coffee in it we'll just let bygones we'll let bygones be
bygones but i think if my argument was ordering it and yours was not.
Like, yours was like, you know what I mean?
What it is.
Yeah, sure.
Sure.
Yep.
You want to argue with me now, don't you?
No.
See, right now you're talking over your mic.
You need to lift it.
There.
Have it at lip level so wherever you're sitting normally
now he can't get the pop filter right that's why it was on top
there there now you can lean on the table there we go um but yes you, you were more like if I wanted – your argument was that no one would say can I get –
Okay.
Yours is more of a direct approach to it.
No.
Yours is more of like an all-around approach to like anything in the coffee industry.
Like if you wanted to go say yeah i'm gonna go
get a coffee but somebody somebody could order a fucking chai espresso absolutely you know what i
mean absolutely but this is mine's more of like. But, a cappuccino is coffee.
Thank you!
That's it! That's all we had to say!
It's coffee.
I'm still gonna call it a cappuccino.
You can call it a cappuccino, because that's what it is.
It is a cappuccino.
Okay.
I wouldn't expect you to call an apple an orange, because it's a fruit.
It's still a fruit.
An orange is a fruit, and an apple is a fruit.
Ape.
Ape.
Ape was in the noon.
You said that wrong.
No, that's what it is.
Okay.
That's what it is.
I'm parched.
Me too.
I'm actually curious what the mini fridge brought in this time.
Me too, since I don't know.
I actually do not know.
What do you mean you actually?
I actually don't know.
She just kicked on.
I think every time we bring it up, it does that.
I'm telling you, man, the curse.
Guadalajara.
What?
What are you doing?
What are you looking at?
I was trying to see if you could hear it so we could go back through all our videos.
Oh, you can definitely hear it on these.
Really?
Yeah, there's a hum or a whir that when this thing spools up, you can definitely hear it when I'm editing.
I can hear the...
Honestly, we all know
this isn't the highest quality podcast in the world,
so you can fucking deal with a little bit of humming.
Open it up.
Ooh,
yeah, baby.
What is it?
It's a crown, oh are we gonna be treated with a camden wellman
on this podcast so the mini fridge must have been listening a couple episodes back when we
were talking about what a because we were having spiked arnold palmers and we said if we could make a drink after
ourselves what would it be and we determined that a camden wellman would be a crown apple
and mountain dew so i want you to make me a camden wellman oh okay okay so i want you to
whip it up for me i we've got all the ingredients here um those should be nice and loose I'm guessing so how many
ice cubes normally do three ice cubes three. Four? That one wanted to come out, so. That one wanted to come out. Yeah.
Can't see the perforated thing. Gotta get the seal.
Crack the seal.
How's everyone doing today?
Thank you guys for watching and tuning in.
Thanks for bearing with us, even though this is a late upload.
But, as Cam lays his lips on the crown bottle how much is that is that 750
so baby 35 percent
i think you might have made me one of these before and it was pretty good no i made you try mine
but it had i had green apple u UV because that's all we had so you
don't know an apple so I've never had this I don't think you've ever had a crown apple I've never had
a Camden Wellman nope poor ooh the glug right there that's it Jesus Christ I mean if you're
gonna make me a drink make me a drink, make me a drink.
Depending on how I make them, this is how I usually make them.
Oh, you do a little bit of this, a little bit of that, a little bit of this, a little bit of that.
A little topper action. A little bit of back and forth.
Make your own truffle butter.
Oh, God.
Put it right there. that one video of uh stone cold when he's making the cocktails and he goes what does he say he's
like jesus christ you might as well what does he say when the guy doesn't put very much in
so you're sandwiching the mountain dew with the Crown. That's like your initial kick.
I would say that's probably a decent amount.
That'd be like a good like.
I can definitely smell it.
Like a good weekday drink.
This is definitely a weekday cocktail.
We are treating ourselves to.
Don't want to mix them too heavy, you know.
Well, it's definitely sitting on top so I'm going to give it a little bit of a stir
wait wait wait
put it up next to the mic
I want them to hear the glug
the satisfying glug of that
of that alky hall
shh fine glug of that of that alkyhol. Shh.
Oh, yeah.
I don't know if it got the blip blip blip,
but it definitely got the the pee noise.
Oh.
Whoa.
Oh.
If you guys have never tried
pineapple, you fucking.
It's delicious.
Also, I...
You can talk into that without the pop filter
in the way. It's just supposed to filter out
the peas.
I really want to try the new
Blackberry crown.
That is some kind of good.
It is pretty good, huh?
I saw that in a video where a guy was
smoking ribs he's like this is the three two one method you smoke it for three hours wrap it for
two hours and then you do another hour with unwrapped with barbecue sauce on it and then he
ate it and he just goes that is some kind of good so now i've been saying some kind is it like a bad
kind of good or a good kind of good oh here well i don't think it would be a bad kind of good
that is some kind of good god minifred you are just up
what you want to put that in there
little crown royal bag You want to put that in there? Woo!
Little crown royal bag.
Oh, man.
I cannot tell you how excited I am for it to get warm again.
I know, me too.
Feels like it's been a long winter.
And the seasonal depression was real this year, as it is every year.
As Jake would say, that tastes how anal feels.
It does taste how anal feels.
I can't lie.
Alright, rate this.
De Serrano and Dr. Pepper
or this?
Like,
where do you rate them?
Out of a mixed drinks drinks they both taste fucking good
where do i rate them yeah well since i'm really not a mixed drink guy
um like do you have like a top three, like three mixed drinks that you like?
No, I don't even know if I have a top three I would go to.
Well, I like, I do like Long Island iced teas.
Those things will get you. Yeah.
I mean, rum and coke is fine.
Vodka Red Bull is pretty good. I mean rum and coke is fine um vodka red bull
is pretty good
but I don't really I'm just not much of a
mixed drink guy yeah but
as of late I got a bottle of
diserano make some dr.
pepper in there I like fireball and dr.
pepper and now
crown apple and mountain dew
just sounds weird having a mountain dew
incorporated in a mixed drink yeah yeah yeah but hey it is a weekday so another very good one is
crown apple and sprite oh that would also that would be tasty yeah i learned that one. I think I can get down with that.
So, I kind of want to tell the story about our trip back in the car that I was telling you and Gabe about.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. this weekend this weekend we um this weekend we went to um this little town um that i can't remember the name of south of york and we were going there for lena's grandparents anniversary
we were just getting like a little brunch um with her and some of her other extended family and it was
you could get it was a buffet you could get either breakfast lunch or brunch the breakfast was like
18 the lunch was 20 and the brunch was 22 where you could get either um and they and i was peeping that lunch buffet
and i saw that mountain of fried chicken sitting in that little warmer and okay so
i have a question for your story was it just like was it just like one meal what do you mean
like the buffet or was it like was it just like fried chicken? Oh, no.
Like it was any... Like a lot of shit.
Like...
Did they have pizza?
There was...
There was...
Well, like the sides, there was like mashed potatoes, cheesy potatoes, some greens, corn.
But then there was also like...
Like...
Not... They weren't pork chops, but they were like cuts of pork there was some sausage
fried chicken um another kind of some other kind of like beef so just like hearty hearty meals
oh yeah it was just like slices of meat, fried chicken. Like wrong side of the truck bed, like Hardy Muse.
I don't know what that means.
It's because it's a Hardy song.
Oh.
Oh.
Yeah, not quite that Hardy.
Well, pretty Hardy.
From a scale of Hardy to Carl's Jr.'sy's yeah it was like six
so man i know now i see why you're always struggling with this fucking thing this thing
is just wrassling it over here i think it's getting loose um it literally like
would rather stay straight it's so weird yeah so i saw that mountain of golden fried chicken and i just said
to myself what would jesus do no i was like man down down jordan again again we eat lunch we're
used to eating lunch at like 11 and it was like 10 45 so i'm
like i'm used to having lunch right now yeah so i want lunch and um the breakfast was like i mean
the breakfast was also pretty hearty it was like biscuits and gravy and you know oh i go for some
eggs you know some scrambled egg like an egg casserole type of deal.
Um,
but I was like,
I really want some fried chicken and like cheese,
potatoes and corn.
That just sounds so good right now.
Yeah.
Um,
now to set this all up,
um,
I've been on a little bit of a kick lately where I'm trying to drink more
water and Lena got stanley and she used
to have a hydro flask or a hydro jug which it's just it's 72 ounces just a big ass 72 ounces
i'm such an idiot i was looking at the bottom i'm like 720 but the o in ounces was looking at the bottom. I'm like, 720. But the O in ounces was right behind the zero.
Or right behind the two.
So I was like, it's 72 OZ.
And I read it as 720.
Yeah.
Which is asinine because a gallon is 128.
So it's not seven gallons.
Yeah.
You know, this guy does spray a lot at our golf course.
Jesus, is he drinking the chemicals or what?
Um, so I've been trying to drink more water lately.
I had the hydro jug with me.
Um, and I've been pounding water the last couple of days.
So, you know, when you drink a lot of water, you have to pee.
If you guys didn't know that
so i told you it's not just me i know this thing we need to get another one it's not just me
not it's not operator error you know what we should do we should just make us
two stands out of a two by four just so
and then just get some like bolts and washers that we can like tighten it and move the joints We should just make us two stands out of a two by four. Just so.
And then just get some like bolts and washers that we can like tighten it and move the joints a little bit.
Yeah.
We can do that.
That'd be funny.
So.
Keep in mind, I've got a full bladder.
I've had to hop off to the bathroom a couple times to pee pee.
Yep.
At the place.
I toss down some fried chicken.
I go for the lunch.
I get fried chicken.
I probably had like five pieces.
And a couple piles of cheesy potatoes. Some corn.
And a handful
of sausage.
By the time we get in the car
to go home,
my tummy starts rumbling.
The way you said handful,
it just made me
picture you at
the fucking...
Just reaching my hand out.
Tossing it on my plate.
I'll have some of these.
You're just walking by the buffet.
There's just some little kid behind you where his mom was just previously screaming at him not to touch food with his hands and to eat with his fork.
And I'm just going.
Yeah.
While I'm going through line.
And you're like grabbing it with your hands, throwing it in your mouth.
You're like, that tastes good.
Just.
That reminds me of a story.
Don't let me forget.
Put a pin in that okay so so by the time we get to the car after this meal my tummy starts rumbling okay
but i'm a gentleman so i'm not gonna rip ass in a car with my girlfriend's parents
i'll of course do it with just my girlfriend but
my girlfriend's parents are in there and i'm sitting in the front seat with richie
because kara bless your soul let sitting back so i can have a little more leg room
which i didn't have that much more leg room because any vehicle i sit in my knees were
up in that dashboard still um so i'm starting
to feel the pressure the pressure is building not only is the pressure building from gas but my
bladder from drinking so much water is starting to fill up and i can just picture them inside my
body starting to push into each other so the amount of pressure that's building up inside there i feel like it's just a very definition of bubble gut and honestly is like it's kind of impressive
that you could hold that back because you would think you know air gas probably heavier than water
probably lighter than water so the water's just gonna eventually push that out of you so
well they're in different tubes and chambers well i know they're not just in one area yeah i know but i'm saying like the waste collection site if
they're like pushing against each other you know like i could just i'm just like trying to picture
it so i'm like okay york isn't that far from lincoln um this thing this thing is moving on me.
York isn't that far from Lincoln.
I can make it.
Yeah.
Okay?
I can make a little trip there.
I don't remember.
It was probably about Seward.
I'm like, it's starting to really...
I need to get somewhere.
Do you have a clamp?
Why?
I know how we can fix it.
Maybe between episodes.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Like, for the second episode.
Just take the second work clamp and just clamp the ass into that deal down.
And it won't slide off.
Right.
Yeah.
Anyways.
By about Seward, I was like, we need to to now i'm counting the minutes till we get home
um but as we're getting close to lincoln lena's mom goes there's these couple white houses i want
to show you guys because they live out in the country and they're like around the section or
whatever i don't know exactly where it was at um compared to
where they were and you know richie was like let's take a detour like let's go by branch
doke and go over the dam like kind of taking the scenic route a little bit meanwhile i'm in the
front seat like like it's starting to build up on me and then by this point i'm like i really need to go
slash fart slash you get out um and at a certain point she's like you missed the turn
and to go see the houses she wanted to see he had driven past where he needed to turn so he literally stopped pulled into somewhere
backed back out and started heading back down the same road we were just on and i'm like oh my god
and so by the time we were going we passed the houses that they wanted to see
um and by this point i was starting to get sweaty was like, I don't know if it was the
meat sweats, or if it was like, just my body shutting down, I was like, oh my, I, and I was
getting hot, I was like, like, I was trying to strip my jacket off, and at one point, I was just
like, I rolled down the window, and I'm just i hot and we got home we made it home i
i briskly walked to the back door which was locked so i had to wait for them to unlock it
went inside peed and farted and lena walked through the cloud right right after i did it and we ended up on the way home
i was just letting them go in my truck once it was just me and lena and i was like oh my god
that smells like fried chicken and it was like she was like had her over her shirt over her nose
and had the window rolled down because it was so bad.
It was just like aggressive devil gas was just coming out of me.
Exgressive.
Devil gas is what you said?
Devil gas.
Devil gas.
Devil gas will get you.
I hate that.
Don't you?
Because have you ever had to hold in farts and you can like feel them rolling over in there like i don't know what that sensation is like where it's about to come out and
then you hold it in and you just feel like like suck back i don't know what happens like it sucks
back up in you or something where like it's it gets there it's probably like it's probably like
an oxygen bubble coming in it like gets to the forefront and then it just recedes yeah it's probably the
oxygen bubble and then you got your your fucking nasty fart right here this is your nasty fart
and your oxygen bubbles just pushing that nasty fart down towards your asshole and then it goes
and it's just it gets it the elevator doors open and then they're like, oh shit, this is the wrong floor.
And then the elevator door closes and it goes back up.
That's what it feels like.
Yeah.
And then once, and then once you ever, you get to the point where you can release, it's not always there.
So you're like, well, now I have the pain and i have the opportunity now
to release it the coast is clear but now it won't it's not there i hate those pain
one time one day i was mowing and oh my fucking god i thought like my appendix ruptured or
something i thought my appendix ruptured how is that that's how you say it right append my appendix ruptured. How is that? That's how you say it, right?
Appendix.
Appendix.
There's no M.
My appendix.
It's not an IM.
It's an AP.
AP on my wrist.
I'm going to need some more.
Here you go.
Here you go.
Pretty good.
Pretty tasty.
The second episode is just...
For $35.99, this better be tasty.
Yeah.
At least that's what the mini fridge...
See, what you guys don't realize is that I don't just get free alcohol.
Yeah, yeah.
Whenever it produces something, there's a receipt back here that comes out.
And I have to, and then I have to, like, pay.
It's like a ticket.
A ticket comes out.
It's just an invoice.
Right.
There's, like, an invoice that comes out.
And I have to, like, you know, put my information on there
And sign it and then mail it
Yeah
And then no one comes and kills me
Yeah
Glug, glug, glug
Oh man
So Oh yes Oh, man. I'm going to take it.
So, oh, yes.
You were supposed to remind me.
Oh, yeah.
I was going to say something and I forgot.
Go ahead.
Maybe I'll remember.
When you were talking about going through the buffet line and grabbing stuff,
it reminded me of this time in high school where my buddy... So, did you have
Bosco sticks at your high school?
Bosco?
They're called Bosco sticks and they're basically just like
cheesy bread sticks.
Well, it's like
a bread stick. It's about yay long.
About yay long.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
About yay thick. And it's filled with yay thick and it's filled with cheese
and it's filled with cheese they were a delicacy they were at delicacy at the old lincoln lutheran
okay um the way our lunch system worked was that like your parents put money into your lunch account and like a normal lunch costed a certain amount and
then if you got seconds it costed a certain amount and if you got like a la carte items like
a cookie ice cream sandwich that was a certain amount yeah but you had to pay for that like it was a whole thing um see ours so as
we were going through the line oh well hang on our like middle school middle school ours was
and high school you could bring like a couple extra bucks yeah yeah you could you could purchase
like an ice cream sandwich yeah yeah right that's, yeah, yeah. Right. That's what ours was like.
So as we were going through the line, and you get what you want for yourself, and then you take it to the lady at the computer and get it and go sit down and eat.
Well, my buddy, as we were passing the Bosco sticks, he just grabbed one and just crammed
it into his mouth and then grabbed one and put it
on his tray so he was just gonna get two for his plan was to just get an extra one because normally
it was like take one yeah i don't think you could take two it was take one so he took one
who is this trace no you don't know him oh i could see jammed into his gullet
and then put one on his tray and just casually went through the line and got the rest of his
lunch as if you know and then once he got up to the lunch table no as he got up to pay the lady
was just like yeah and i'm charging you for that other Bosco stick, too. Like, she saw it and just sniped him.
Like, she saw him do it.
And everyone was just like, thought he got away with it.
Like, for all we knew, it was just so nonchalant.
Even though it was someone jamming an entire cheese stick about this long into his mouth.
And just going through the rest of the line, pretending like nothing happened, even though his face was crammed with food.
I don't even know how he was able to get that whole thing in his mouth.
It wasn't small.
What would you do if he just, like, goes, and then he just, like, walks up there and he's just like, I'm going to make you pay for that.
He just goes, just wolfs it back out and puts it back in.
He's like, here you go.
You can have that
oh my goodness well so we had
so the the our lunch ladies they would make we had like two options for lunches
like you could go and they would have uh like one day it would be like pizza and something else like one of our was like our
favorite days was uh chinese food day and uh i just thought of it but now i can't think of it anyways nacho day yeah like we'd have like
different days like that and then we'd have like like so there would be two like separate things
so you can either have like a hamburger and or hot dog meals like that was like one day
like hamburger and hot dogs and then you had something else but then also if you didn't want
any of that we had like a grab and go lunch that's what we had they literally were called grab and
goes yeah that's what we had and it was just like a little plastic bag like a plastic we had them in
plastic bags and you get a yogurt a cheese stick and like the banana bread like loaf and ours were
little plastic containers that like like, snapped shut.
And it had, like, a sandwich, a little bag of, like, carrots.
And, um... Yeah.
We also had Uncrustables.
And I stole a shit ton of those.
I stole so many of those.
Because we would sit right by the refrigerator that had them.
And my buddies at the table would be like, Jake, grab me one.
And I'd be like.
Make sure no one's looking.
Reach back.
Slide the door open.
Grab one.
Toss it to them.
Hell yeah.
I would like to take a couple of them and put them in my backpack.
I felt like Ocean's Eleven.
Just stealing from that place.
Just trying to take back a little bit of the money that they took from my parents.
Fucking charging out the ass for me to go to school there.
Yeah, wait, but did you guys...
Taking my parents' money and putting it on a fucking flat screen TV that they hung up in the lunchroom and only played announcements on.
Yeah.
It's like, Jesus Christ, I'm glad to know my money's going to good use.
Did you, uh...
So, did you have, like, um...
They bought, like, a fucking gator.
Like, one of those, like, off-roading things.
Just to, like, tote water coolers from the school out to the game field.
It's like, Jesus, you couldn't have gotten, like, a fucking used golf cart?
Like, why'd you get one of those? Like, $100,000? I don't know if they're $100,000. the game field it's like jesus you couldn't have gotten like a fucking used golf cart we had one
of those like a hundred thousand dollar i don't know if they're a hundred thousand dollars they're
not cheap they're like 40 probably like a new gator yeah probably 40 which we had one but we
also had our own uh but it was like a rav or it was like a like a polaris style thing yeah yeah yeah i had like a
fucking yeah we had one of those like like that but and my principal's fucking douchebag self was
ripping it around it's just like you motherfucker but we also had like a full-on crew that like
managed like the practice field football fields yeah like that so they would use it throughout the day
or like they would they would get use out of it but we also did you guys have your own athletic
trainer like yes we had a trainer yeah yeah we had one of those two and they that's what they
would use the cart for like if somebody got hurt and they needed to go to the room, they would take it. Right. Yeah, but they used it for a long time.
Yeah, we really didn't use it hardly.
It was definitely a waste.
It was definitely, I felt like...
You're looking at the Lorax right now.
Were you just like...
It definitely felt like a waste of money.
Well, probably.
Yeah. It's okay okay if you just hauled
water coolers probably yeah water coolers and like the pylons for the field it's like jesus
christ that's what freshmen are for guys we didn't need to spend 60k on a polaris
okay if we're if we're have that much money where we need to do tax deductions how about you just
lower the tuition i know actually it's not that you say that like we had that expensive ass
fucking gator there was multiple times for strength conditioning when i had strength
conditioning eighth period that they would make us fill the water coolers and carry them from the
school all the way out to the fucking football field.
And then dump them out.
Pretty much because they were still full at the end of the game.
Oh.
Well.
So there was no point in it.
You know what?
So we would.
Can someone please break their legs so we can use the gator for something?
We had.
Actually, now that I think about it it The water coolers were also really stupid
Because
We had water coolers out there
Our coach didn't let us drink water
We had water coolers out there
But
They also had
Individual water bottles
Everybody had their individual water bottles
Yeah
And the Stoogies would literally fill them up
Yeah yeah yeah
At like the end of the quarter
And walk them out to you
Yeah yeah And squirt them in your mouth.
You want a little water?
You want a little water?
Give me some water, you little shit.
Squirt in my mouth.
What else?
What else is new?
Okay, hang on.
Before we get too far.
So, I was wondering, did you guys have, like, lanyards?
We had, like, school identification, and we could not take them off.
Yeah, we didn't have those.
Like, if we were caught without them, we'd have to go buy a replacement one.
Or we could get two stickers that they would like stick on our deal for free yeah
and then after our second one we had to buy a replacement lanyard and it was like 10 15 bucks
for a string and a plastic fucking card i think we had student ids yeah we had student ids but
we didn't have we didn't we weren't like required to wear them see we would wear them because when
we'd go through a lunch line, they would scan them.
And so, like, my parents would, like, pay for my food.
But, like, through a quarter.
Yeah.
We just had, like, a number.
Mine was 11156.
But what's crazy is that the lady that's sitting at the computer, the same lady that caught my friend shoving the Bosco stick in his mouth. Yeah.
She had everyone's number memorized.
You would just walk up and she would look and see
who it was and type your number in.
Which is such a baller move.
Just to see you and just...
I know what your number is. I know what
your five-digit number is. I know what
everyone in here's five-digit number is
based on their face. That's pretty dope.
That's kind of baller, isn't it? Yeah, it's crazy.
Yeah, five digits.
I think mine was 0-3-3-5-6.
0-3-3-5-6.
0-3-3-5-6.
That sounds familiar.
By the way, that's the last.
Just kidding.
That's my social security number yep
oh i do have a crazy story to tell you that i completely forgot to tell you
so me and bailey were sitting on the couch the other day like i just got home from work
and her phone rings and she answers it because it's from lex and it's just someone screaming
like bloody murder that they oh that they just got into a car accident.
Oh.
And they're like,
I'm so scared right now.
And blah,
blah,
blah.
And Bailey's just like,
who are you?
So I grabbed her phone.
I'm like,
calm down.
Tell me who you are.
Like,
if you really need me to call somebody,
I can call somebody.
And then once I go,
when I was like,
I'm not the ambulance.
Yeah. By the way, I don't know what you want me to do i'm living in lincoln that's like two hours away but anyways i
was like just calm down and tell me what your name is and then it went beep that's fucking terrifying
even if it's a prank call that's kind of creepy well like they were screaming bloody murder like they were about to do you have to ask her
it was like bailey was like actually terrified i'm like well yeah if you're just answering your
phone you're just not even expect like know what to expect you're gonna hear and i just
someone's screaming i was like i was like do you have any clue where you are at?
Because I believed it, and I was just going to call the cops.
I know where most of that shit is from there.
I could actually help you if you in fact need help.
Yeah, if you in fact need help, just tell me where you're at
or somewhere what the last street you know was.
Right.
And I can try to help you help you and it just goes beep
and i'm like all right that's fucking terrifying whatever so did you try calling them back and be
like just in case they died or no because i didn't know if it was a scam call because bailey thought
it was a scam call she's like that has to be a scam. But they said they're from Lex. The number popped up.
It was a 308 number.
Like, area code.
And then it just said, scream.
I was in a car accident.
I need help.
Yeah.
And they're like, I didn't know who to call.
I'm like...
So maybe it was a prank call.
Did you, like, at least look up if there was accidents near Lexington?
No.
Well, hopefully they didn't die if they did in fact need help well if they did they shouldn't have hung up on me why'd you hang well you're
you're just like fine you're gonna hang up on me like that guess who's dying in a fucking fiery
upside down car well and they said it was a car crash and i actually brought my bolt
cutters i actually did the reason why i believed it was because they were just getting all them
blizzards so i was like so there's a good chance that someone actually needed help and you're like
well you shouldn't have hung up on me well i got one i got a call from a 308 number as well that I don't remember.
Or, like, have in my phone.
And it was, like, that morning.
And then she randomly gets a 308.
I don't know.
Whatever.
Do you think it's, like, someone pranking you that has your guys' number?
Kind of a weird, dark prank, but you never know.
People these days are kind of...
Well...
Like, yeah.
I mean, it's a prank call.
Like, usually you do prank calls, like, in the middle of the night.
Like, to, like, wake them up.
Because what time is it?
It's, like, fucking 4 o'clock in the afternoon.
It's, like, fucking 4 o''clock i'm so fucking drunk right now
i'm such a piece of shit um so you you want to know what happened to me the other day
well i guess this didn't really happen to me i mean it kind of did i was getting out of my truck and steve comes out
and he goes like hey um i was doing some burning in the backyard like he went and got like i think
he had a roofing torch just like you were using today yeah and he was like burning all the viney
shit off the fence the chain link fence between us
and he's like well i might have been getting a little carried away and i think i might owe you
a hose and i'm like uh and he's like yeah you're a little like above ground irrigation hose that
runs along the fence i kind of got into it a little bit and i'm just like let's go back and
look and i'm like i was like honestly i have like hundreds
of feet of this stuff like all i would have to do is get a couple like couplers and put a new
section in there so the most you'd owe me is like a couple bucks yeah um so we went back there and
look and he definitely melted those poly lines he's Like they were sandwiched down.
Really?
At least it didn't catch the fucking railroad ties on fire.
The railroad ties?
That are around your, like, garden?
I guess.
I mean, he didn't get that far into my yard.
It was like he was burning the stuff that was, like, on the fence.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait, how does that look? I get that far into my yard it was like he was burning the stuff that was like on the fence yeah yeah yeah um and how does that look i bet that looks pretty good it doesn't look
bad and i was like it's honestly probably a good thing he did that but you're like i don't know
you're like my fucking irrigation system dog you know how much that cost me
how much that cost to get installed the gas to get to my house
uh but yeah there was about a section on both of them because i i ran one for the garden the
little spray heads and then i ran one for the the heads for the lawn and there's about this
long of a section where it's just like melted and it's like flattened i haven't tried running
any water through it obviously but and you're just like nah
it's cool dogs don't worry so i went to menards and i like went to the lawn section or the seasonal
section or whatever where they usually have their sprinklers and i was like asking the guy because i
didn't really find him i was like where are your guys's like irrigation stuff and he just like
pointed on the floor and there was like four boxes that just said Rain Bird on it.
And I was like,
I just need four little push-on couplers
for some.700 OD line.
And he was just like, oh.
And he took me upstairs,
which I always forget that Menards has an upstairs.
They have a little stairs that go up,
and there was like the little
section.
Yeah.
Where?
In the very back where you go to order like lumber from the scrapyard,
like a ticket ticket.
Yeah.
Staircase that goes up in.
Anybody can go up there.
Well,
I think so.
I mean,
there was merchandise on shelves up there.
I think they
mainly use it like for storage but there was a little shelf that had like all the irrigation
stuff on it i was like oh so i was like then i found four little a little pack of four do you
think they did five eighths tubing barbs couplers do you think they just leave it up there to like, because like some people probably aren't doing that seasonal shit like in the winter, but like some companies might be.
That might get their shit from Renards.
So like, do you think it's just like an overstock?
Like they bring the Christmas shit down, they throw the summer shit up.
Yeah, probably.
But you can still get to and purchase summer shit.
Right, it's still available i and i doubt companies would buy because any company that's like trying to buy
in bulk probably wouldn't go through menards no but like us like sometimes we've been there to like
right grab a fucking glue to glue fucking right but that's like pbc joints and stuff that could
be used anytime for like plumbing and stuff.
Yeah, true.
I don't know.
But no, I mean, you're right.
But yeah, it was just like a little section.
Have you ever looked at liquid?
I've only noticed it with whiskey.
What are you talking about?
Have I ever looked at liquid?
Yes.
It's like, look at it and it looks
like here i don't know if it's from the ice but like look it kind of looks like gel like the
swirls yeah and like that's the alcohol yeah yeah yeah that's the that's the that's the crown
when i went over to ben's to watch the to watch the game I was like oh nice looking lawn you got here
starting to perk up a little bit like it's starting to green up like kind of around the edges he's
like yeah if it doesn't do well this year I'm blaming your fucking podcast and I'm like oh you
mean my podcast called the grass daddy's where we never talk about grass yeah like yeah I started
listening to it I was like joking like i started listening to it to
listen for lawn advice to do for my lawn but all these guys do is fucking
drink and talk about anything but grass
his little winter air for what did i can't remember what he asked but he asked about didn't he ask about when to spray or what he should do for fall
i think what to do wasn't it it was kind of vague it was like what should i do to my lawn in the
fall yeah yeah yeah i think so there's a number of my. So my phone's up there. But what else has changed?
What else has changed?
Or like I'm saying, what's new since we've had two weeks to come up with a good episode?
I mean, it hasn't been two weeks.
No.
It's probably been a week.
Kentucky lost in March Madness.
I did kind of want to talk about March Madness a little bit.
How long have you been doing brackets for?
We honestly, I think, I want to say, I mean, when I was younger,
like, my dad would be like, here, fill out a bracket.
You know, we'll put your dollar in.
But I'm just choosing who the coolest mascot is. Yeah. But, like, when you were a kid. Yeah, like, I would, like, here, fill out a bracket. You know, we'll put your dollar in. But I'm just choosing who the coolest mascot is.
Yeah.
But, like, when you were a kid.
Yeah, like, I would, like, fill them out.
I didn't never know how they worked, really, because I was just filling one out.
Or they wouldn't even charge me for it.
Like, I would just fill one out.
Right.
I think I want to say it might not have been my first but it was around my first time
when blake griffin played for oklahoma really yeah i remember filling out a bracket and
so like a lot of people normally will bet or like have a pool with their work or whatnot yeah um and like our family never used to do it
it was just kind of like my dad and i did it and so my dad and i had a bet where the winner
got to shave the other person's head when you're a little kid yeah when i was younger oh and i won
and i got to shave my dad's head.
Which is kind of cheap because that's how my dad cuts his hair.
Whenever he gets a haircut, he just shaves it.
So... Did you do that same bet this year?
No.
You should do that same bet this year for just nostalgic purposes.
Well, not now.
The games are already going and I lost my winning team in the fucking first round.
How's your dad's bracket?
I honestly don't know. He has the... He had the fucking first round. How's your dad's bracket? I honestly don't know.
He had the first round scores,
either the first round or the first and second round.
Oh, yeah.
After second round, Maggie 250,
Aim 200.
That's what he put instead of Amy.
Put Aim.
Jake 195, Rudy 190, Ben 170. 170 damn ben's not doing too well i and i haven't seen their
bracket oh you haven't seen their bracket i mean i'm intrigued to see what ben's bracket looks like
yeah we might have to call him after this and ask him what his bracket looks like because i'm
excited to see um so yeah but and i don't remember if it was that year but there was a year
where it might have been this that year where my dad and i had the haircutting bet we
um so i had duke winning it all and you know it comes down to points
it's not necessarily if your team, it comes down to points.
It's not necessarily if your team wins.
It comes down to points.
Was that back when it was like the Duke North Carolina?
When they were like the hot schools?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Probably.
It was like when Duke and North Carolina were like,
one of those teams was going to make it every year.
I remember having a little North Carolina, you know those mini balls, mini basketballs?
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I would always play with my brother, and then you'd dunk it on me because I was...
Lower the hoop down and just yam it on your ass?
Yeah.
And one day I was pumping it up without my dad watching me do it, and the...
Needle?
Not the needle, but the like...
Black part?
The pumper.
I don't know what you would call it.
Hand pump?
Air pump?
No, it was like on a hook to the air compressor.
Oh.
And it got...
Nozzle?
It got stuck on there and like wedged in there.
So I couldn't get it off and my fucking ball went kaboom.
Just exploded? Yeah, and my dad came running out of the house because he thought i blew something up well you did and i was just like no wonder you can't hear shit yeah and i got and i play with
my video game sound at like master volume 100 and i go into my headphone setting and i'm like
yeah the other day we were over there. What were we doing over there?
I think we were just hanging out.
Haircuts. Well, you guys were getting
haircuts and I just came. Lena and I came over
to hang out. And while I was waiting
for you and Spencer to get your haircuts, I sat
down in your chair and put your headphones on
and I started playing and then I just went.
Because the fucking volume about took my
scalp off. Well, it's because I play Siege.
It's because I play Siege. Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah i need to be able to hear footsteps anyways yeah back the year where my
dad and i had this i'm i'm pretty sure it was this year um that we had our haircut bet i had duke
winning it but the way the points worked out between my dad and I's brackets were if Duke, it was Duke versus Butler.
And it's when Aaron, not Aaron Gordon, Jesus.
Gordon Hayward played for Butler.
It came down to points where if Duke won, then I won because I had Duke winning it all but if Duke lost
I think my dad and I were tied for points and he couldn't get any more points and the only way I
could get any more points is if Duke won the championship it was the championship game
so if Duke won then I won but if they didn't we were tied so we needed to have
a tiebreaker so he was like for the tiebreaker you got to pick the combined number so a combined
score between the two teams so i was like uh okay so i picked the number 120 now du Duke ended up winning, but the final score was 61 to 59.
So it was 120 exactly.
Oh yeah.
I'm not digging it math.
So that's why I always put one 20 is my tiebreaker.
Cause I guessed it exactly.
And I don't know if you remember it,
but at the very end 175 well that I mean anything can happen
as you know in college basketball especially March Madness we were just I don't remember what
there was a game this year it might I think it was Alabama and someone else where at one point in the game, it was 100 to 100, which is crazy for college basketball.
Yes.
Ben and I were sitting on the couch.
I'm like, it's 100 to 100.
Purdue just beat fucking who they play last, like their last game before Utah State.
Yeah, they dropped like 107.
Right.
On Utah State. All they have to do is produce
you know so 170 is not that far off yeah but if it's a defensive game you know yeah 61 to 59
it's very possible yeah um and that was the game where at the very end Gordon Hayward threw up that
half court shot that hit off the backboard and then hit off the front of the rim.
And if it would have went in, they would have won.
Like a buzzer beater shot at the end.
And I probably still would have won because then I would have been one point away from
or three points away from getting it.
True.
Because it's whoever's closest, right?
Right.
I believe so.
And I don't even know what my dad put.
He probably... He's like three put. He probably, well.
He's like three bills.
He's like, I'll just give to the young kid.
300?
Yeah.
He's like.
No.
Your dad's like.
My dad did not let me win.
Your dad's like, man, I'm going to fucking lose this.
I really could use a cut right now.
He timed it perfectly with when he actually did need a haircut.
So he's like, I can't lose.
Yeah. it perfectly with when he actually did need a haircut so he's like i can't lose yeah he's probably right after he's done cutting his he's like okay can you cut mine now so just rub
it in my face like he wanted it to happen anyways yeah did you did you buzz it oh yeah i buzzed his
hair buzz that shit off i remember sitting in the backyard Buzzing it off man
Man
Should we cut between episodes?
Yeah
Alright
Take a pee break
So
This was part one
Slash
It's own episode
Yep
We're gonna do another one
This was the first week of march madness
we'll hit you back with the second that not that no this round this was the first round 16 of yeah
final four i just have to make a crazier face each time
i might have to cut that out because i each time. Champion, yeah.
I might have to cut that out because I don't know if I can let that be
on the internet. Yes, you can.
Thank you guys for watching.
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tick tock.
I think they're about
covers today.
Until next time.
Shave your head.
I am strong enough
to take these dreams and make them mine.
Can you take me higher?