Grass Daddies Podcast - Grass Daddies Podcast Episode 37: Mamba Mentality

Episode Date: April 9, 2024

In this episode of the Grass Daddies Podcast, Jake found himself amid a very unfortunate Easter Egg "hunt" at work while edging bunkers. Kam talks about an acquaintance he made at school through a very interesting unspoken contract. SHANKITGOLF.COM Code:grass Follow us on Social Media! Youtube: grassdaddiespodcast Instagram: @grassdaddiespodcast @kamdenwellmann @jakekillham Tik Tok: @kandenwellmann (yes that's how it's spelled) @jakekillham11

have you ever got like a fave reds pack a starburst and you're like that's cheating yeah but that's cheating but then you get like halfway through the starburst you're like man a yellow or orange would be nice to toss in right now and cleanse my palate that's so that's that's like the most relatable thing i feel like speaking of obese america you know you're in amer America when you're just like, I don't even like the yellow, but I like to eat the yellow to make the red ones taste better. Welcome to the Shohei Otani Diamond Card Podcast.

I'm Shmaek Shmillum. That's Cumden Wellman. The camera's crooked, but we're going to roll with it. It looks a little crooked. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. Nope, now it's too far. Tap it back. Tippy-tippy-tap that rotisserie chicken.

Perfect. tap it back tippy tippy tap that rotisserie chicken perfect welcome to another um stupendously of luep voluptuous episode of the grass daddy's podcast um oh wait we didn't finish the intro i'm shmake schmillum that's cumden willeman and we are. The grass dad of this. Cam is on one today. I'm not sure what drugs you took this morning. But they're working. And here we are. Yet again. On another beautiful day.

I got ketamine. I got meth. I got PCP. I got Flintstone gummies. Shit that'll make you dick hard. Shit that'll make you dick soft. Shit that'll make you fine you dick. I even make you dick soft. Shit that'll make you fine, you dick. I even got ibuprofen.

I love that scene. I don't even know what movie that's from. Or I don't even know what it's called. Talk into your mic. I can't remember what it's called. Stepsister or something, maybe? No. You just... You love Stepbrothers so much,

it's a movie with two female actors, and you're like, Step Sisters? I got nothing. I'm not excited to watch it. I got nothing. Well, you watch different videos called Step Sisters. Don't Party Too Hard? Is that what it's called?

That could be it. Some party, I think. That could be it. I was going to say, you normally watch other videos that have Step Sisters in them. No. We're double clamped up here on a on a thursday afternoon um hopefully the mic stays put and there's no more um jostling around of the audio equipment and or uh shenanigans of said recording devices so i need a drink i've been promoted

the guy in all the porn videos about stepsisters you have been promoted I'm thirsty and or need a drink so what do we got here we got some topo chico I think is it topo chico

well I think it's supposed to be like a hispanic named thing and you made it sound japanese topo Chico? Well, I think it's supposed to be like a Hispanic-named thing, and you made it sound Japanese. Topo Chico! What do you want? We got pineapple, we got guava, we got mango. Beer Me Blazer. Okay, well, here's your pineapple, because I want to try the pineapple. Exotic pineapple.

Two grams of sugar 100 calories um it's very considerate of the mini fridge to provide these beverages considering that you are currently um on a diet is that am i understanding that correctly no not really i'm trying to build healthier habits of what i eat because i eat like shit could you just could you you let all our viewers know what you had for an after work snack the other day? You were telling us at work and I was truly fascinated by what you

had before dinner. Oh, um, I had Wait, what did I have? You're crying a little bit. Yeah, I was laughing. I had a Jack Link's jerky, beef jerky, beef stick and cheddar. Mild cheddar.

It's like the thing that comes together. Yeah. And then I had Fruit Loops. Fruit Loops. Dry Fruit Loops. Dry Fruit Loops. fruit loops fruit loops dry fruit loops dry fruit and then i had like two you had like a bag of cheetos you had oh yeah i had a bag of cheetos bag of doritos the little bags i'm not that fat jesus christ guys come on give me a break um and then i had two coors banquets

and then you're like i ate supper yeah i was like what'd you have for supper and you're like uh broccoli and cheese noodles and i'm like that's like a normal like health no semi-healthy chicken and broccoli alfredo okay we used alfredo sauce but we didn't have noodles it's like that that's like a pretty semi-healthy adult dinner. And then you're like, yep. And then afterwards I had two more bags of Cheetos. You're like, I had dark chocolate covered almonds. Some more Froot Loops.

Oh, yeah. Robin eggs. That's where I lost it. You're like some Robin eggs. It's like you were just going like you open your pantry and the first thing you see you grab it and eat it yeah and at one point i literally was playing video games talking to your bike watching youtube and i got up and i walked in there and i grabbed the box of goldfish and i had a couple handfuls of good goldfish and i walked it back to the cupboard

and i grabbed the fruit loops came back had a couple handfuls of fruit took the fish for a swim back and then i grabbed a couple handfuls of dark chocolate covered almonds and then i came back and then i'd go grab doritos and i'd go grab cheetos some might say you have an impulse control problem no but not all some might say impulse control problem with that. You have a problem with controlling your impulses. No. You're like, no, no, no. I am fully aware of them and like it that way. I have

no desire to control them. I like the impulses right where they are. Oh, yeah. I technically fast at work no you don't because i'm like so hungry all through the morning and then i have to wait to eat my lunch until lunch time sometimes you'll start eating your lunch after like our like just in the morning like i feel like it wasn't that long ago that you were wolfing down cold hot dogs

at like 8 a.m because you're like i'm hungry i can't wait till lunch i'll go to casey's at lunch no and you were just the one gutting cold glizzies the one day not too long ago actually was i was eating cold spaghetti straight out of the fridge oh yeah you were going to the hawks' nest for lunch. Yeah, you were... Shoveling spaghetti down my throat. You were sucking... Yeah.

You were sucking them things down like it was your last meal. I like spaghetti. Thank you guys for watching. I like spaghetti. I like spaghetti i like spaghetti um so so what exactly is this um diet that you're on you're allowed points or what is what is that it's weight watchers and it's for healthy talking your mic it's weight watchers and i asked me do you want to lose weight or do you

want to practice like healthy habits and i was practice healthy habits? I was like, healthy habits. It's Weight Watchers. Is it like an app on your phone? Yeah. You're supposed to scan stuff, but I haven't done shit today. I'm going to have 62 weekly points. How many points are you allowed per day?

How much? 30 was my starting out. See, the other day I just quit counting because I was eating so much shit. Is it based off your... How much? 30 was my starting out. But see, now I... See, like the other day, I just quit counting because I was eating so much shit. I was like, yeah, I'm not scanning this shit. So I had nine points left over. I had nine points left over when I went home on that day that I was eating all those snacks.

So you were doing this then? Yeah. Yeah, and I just quit scanning things. No shit. Your fucking thumb probably got tired. Taking another picture. Four more points. Fuck it.

I'll make it up tomorrow. I had nine points left, and then I didn't realize that it carries over. So it either goes to your weekly points or it goes to your daily points. So if I go over in my daily points, it chews up my weekly points. Oh. So you used up all your points by Wednesday. So yeah. And now you got to fast the rest of the week.

Right now it's saying that I have probably going to be plus 30 points because I haven't done shit today. I didn't scan the thing today. So, if you go over your points, is it just like you need to go run a couple miles before you can eat again? What? You just lose all your weekly points. Uh-oh. Like, it just burns your weekly points. I remember, I know I have quite a slimming figure now, but believe it or not, I used to be even skinnier. Like, when I was going into college i was like pretty skinny i thought i was like normal but compared to how i am now

put on a few lbs you know life happens um um when i was first going to midland like to be a college football player i was really skinny and like the typical person i think the typical daily intake is like 2000 calories is like standard um but they were like we want you guys eating because we're working out you know they want you to get calories to replenish like the calories you're losing and they're like you guys should be eating 2500 calories and i like looked at our strength and conditioning coach and he looked at me and he was like like he wanted me to have 5000 calories a day like he wanted me to fucking eat like he wanted me to gain weight he wanted me to gain weight i was like oh shit there was

one day i remember at practice he was like after this workout because he to gain weight i was like oh shit there was one day i remember at practice he was like after this workout because he was like like he was like he was pretty he was kind of a hard ass like was he worse than me you're like a bunny and this guy was a fucking silverback okay so like there was one uh workout we were doing he liked to yell if there was like if there was someone like jawing like talking he would literally just yell shut up like he would just yell at people to shut up you make it look like i'm trying to show the remote my butt that's what you just reminded me of what you said that that. Just saying. Anyways, go ahead. So. He was like, when we're done here, I want you all to go to the caf.

The cafeteria. I want you to take two pieces of bread. And I want you to grab one big handful of spinach. One big handful of turkey. And slather it with peanut butter. And eat it. And I was just like. Okay. If our coach is telling us to do it, I'm butter. And eat it. And I was just like. Okay.

If our coach is telling us to do it. I'm going to go do it. Because I was a good boy back then. I didn't really understand the concept of like. He told me to do it. And like I can just not. That wasn't really an option for me. I'm like he told me to do something. So I need to go do it.

So I did it. And it was fucking gross. And I was like. I'm never doing that again but you're like fuck all this good boy shit i'm a bad boy he he was talking about how um but he was joking right no he wanted us to go do that because spinach has a lot of protein in it and turkey is like a cleaner meat that has good protein in it and then obviously peanut butter has protein some protein in it he was talking about fuck that he was like he actually was like you know he was like a like an athletic training major that like knew what the fuck he was

talking about because he was talking about like you know you guys you'll go and you'll do a workout and then you'll fucking load half of your blender bottle up with protein powder and drink it down it's like you realize that your body is maybe maybe consuming and using like one scoop of that and the rest of it is just going right through you and you're just pooping it out like your body isn't actually gaining anything from eating all that protein yeah and he's like if you want some really good natural protein he's like eat eggs he's like you want to know why that eggs are so easy for your body to use as a source of protein and fuel it's because you at

one point in your life were an egg and i was just like it fucking blew my mind i i from that day on that was my nirvana i found enlightenment when he said you at one point came from an egg i was like oh my god you actually like we did come from an egg that makes sense why eggs are so good cannibals no because we're eating a chicken egg which speaking of i didn't actually plan for it to go this way but it came full circle do you want to do you want to tell at first since you were the because i've been talking this whole time um welcome to the jake podcast um so the other day talking to my yesterday at work we were fixing

this bunker up we're edging them and like moving sand around. And Spencer was blowing the bunker out. And then here comes a little white chicken egg rolling out into the bunker. So was yours in the edge too? Yeah. And I was like, you know, I should probably wait for Jake because he's not going to believe me when I tell him I found an egg in the bunker. And then my impulse. For those of you that don't know, a bunker is a sand trap on a golf course. Yes.

My intrusive thoughts won. When don't they? And I was just like, yeah, fuck it. And I just yeeted the egg out into the pond. And then we're sitting there pulling like the edging. Because I wasn't there for this. I was off doing doing something else and then i came and joined you guys yeah jake came back and we were pulling the edging off of the bunker and here comes this little brown egg rolling out of one of the pieces of grass that jake pulled out and i'm sitting right beside him pulling it out. And I go, hey, look, another egg. And he goes, oh, it's fake.

And it just goes, it fucking explodes on him. So it smelled. It smelled like rotten fucking. It's like if somebody shoved a fish carcass up their ass and then died and then decomposed. It was disgusting. In my defense, yes, it was an egg. Seemingly a chicken egg. So it was brown.

It was light brown and i distinctly remember in my grandma's house she had like these little like fabric chickens that were like stuffed with cotton and they had these little like wooden eggs and my mind when i was holding that egg in my hand my mind immediately went to oh it's a fake wooden egg because it was really light it felt like it was nothing i was holding it in my hand and i thought this little light brown egg is fake i was like i kind of shook it a little bit and i and i and i thought of my grandma's house and her little fake wooden eggs that she had for display for decoration. And I was like, oh, it's fake.

And as I said that, I was squeezing it and it just popped and got all over me. A little piece of shrapnel may have gone into my mouth, but I don't think it did because I would have tasted it. It was like cottage cheese, though. Yeah, it was like if you smashed up a banana, but it was like really yellow. Yeah. Because it was like the yolk and everything. Yeah. And it smelled like fish.

It smelled disgusting. And luckily I had like my bibs on and I had my hoodie on. I took my coat off, thankfully. So I had my bib and hoodie on, my bibs and hoodie on, and I, like, slowly was trying to take my bibs off, but it was all over my bibs and all over my hoodie, and I was, like, I ended up just taking my shoes off because I didn't want to reach down to unzip them. I just slid everything off and put it in the back of my cart

and then just put my coat on. Oh, my Lord. How stupid can you? It's fake. You just hear him go. It's fake. And then because I was like sitting right there and I like kind of like jerked away. Once I see the explode, I'm like, no way that shit is getting on me.

And then I can smell it right now. Have you ever? Oh, fuck. No, that's right smell it right now have you ever oh fuck no that's right my fart have you no no no i don't actually just farted well i don't smell your fart but i'm like it's it was such a distinct yeah yeah yeah the only way i can describe it was just it was such a reckless odor like it didn't need to exist that That's how bad it was. Well. This was other earthly. Part of me was like, I just seen Jake and he's just sitting there like, motherfucker. What do I do now? Like, that was. On my knees, just defeated.

Yeah. And it's just all over him. And I was like, at one point, this is what very quickly entered my mind. I'm like, man, I kind of feel bad for him. No, you didn't. No, at first I was like, man, that fucking sucks. Because now it's kind of cold outside. It was kind of cold.

And I'm like, Nega, take your bibs off. And I was like, you know what? Fuck it. If it was me in this position and the roles are switched, Jake would be laughing his fucking ass off. So I started laughing my fucking ass off. Do you think if it happened to you, you would have immediately thrown up, actually? Probably, yeah. No way.

But you were right next to me, and you smelled it just as much as I did. No, I didn't smell it. Oh, you didn't? I didn't smell it until you started chasing me. I actually didn't smell it at all. You didn't smell it? I went to go find your sunglasses when I was weed eating. It was like stuck to my hand.

The odor. Because it was not on me anymore. Like I cleaned it off. And I was like, I thought it was like on my shirt. Because I was wearing a new shirt yesterday. And I would go to smell it. But I was putting my hand right next to my nose. And so I was like smelling it oh my god okay so i recorded a little snippet for you guys and for my friends i recorded a video of my bibs and sweatshirt in the back of my truck

the video i sent to the group chat of the eggs all over me. You probably didn't look at it because you don't give a shit about me. But, uh, must be a different group chat. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. But,

um, hopefully I can remember. Maybe I'll make a gesture right here or something. And hopefully that will alert me to edit in the clip of my egg covered bibs and hoodie as if you guys wouldn't believe me already but so you see they found an egg in the bunker and then we found another egg and i pulled it out and it was brown and i'm like oh it felt really light i'm like it's fake it's a i was like it's a wooden egg and i'm like it's fake and i squeezed it and it fucking popped and got all over me and it smells like fucking fish

so there you go oh fuck that was nasty it did happen yeah I washed it. Fucking rancid, dude. I tried washing my bibs and hanging them out to dry. That was... It was atrocious. You ever just... You know that, like, sound? That TikTok sound? What is going on inside of their head?

Or whatever it is. I don't know. It's this TikTok sound. But, yeah, I was just like. What's this one? Tropical mango. And then Jake was pissing me off at lunch. Oh, yeah.

I was eating a mustard because I like mustard on my salami sandwiches. I like mustard. So I was eating mustard. And he's like, you know what that egg really looked like? Mustard. And it got so bad that it was... You're like, fuck you. This is all I brought to eat today.

I put both my AirPods in so I couldn't hear you. Dude, your AirPods were turned up so loud, Spencer, that I could hear him. Yeah. I was like, he really doesn't want to hear me. You wouldn't even look at me. You were locked in. You're like, I got to pound this thing down

before I think about eggs. Oh oh yeah see the weird thing is i have a i think in the moment it wasn't disgusting because like i could see it on you and i probably could have smelled it and it would have been that disgusting but when you started describing it when we were at the bunker that's when i started to get like the salvate like salvating like felt like puking it's just something like somebody describing something so like fucking disgusting i could probably see it but like that just goes to show that like your mind can take you places that are far more disturbing than reality can must. That was a really dark statement. Like, I mean, like, people puking.

I can be around people puking. But, like, if I see. I thought you couldn't. No, I can be, like. Like, you can hear someone. Yeah, the other weekend, Zane was just on my couch, and I was laying in my recliner. But if you see someone puke. Oh, I was watching.

I thought you couldn't take puke. I think I can deal with puke in person. What? But videos make me. What? Because my mind starts to think about how bad it would smell. So your mind can trick you into nausea worse than just actually witnessing something.

I still don't understand you. I don't understand myself. You can learn everything there is to know about them in a hundred years. And after a... I can't even remember the line. But it's from Lord of the Rings. Gandalf talking about hobbits. You're my hobbit and I'm gandalf you're trying

to learn me no it just he has a quote where he talks about like you can learn everything there is to know about them in a month's time and then after a hundred years they can still surprise you that's like you you lay it all out there on the line when someone first comes to work there they're like what's your name you're like cam now give me your snapchat no and we're gonna be friends and we're gonna hang out outside of work until i decide that i don't like you i'm just kidding we've already talked about that though yeah we talked about that i give people reasons i give you this one kind of tastes like applesauce even though it's tropical mango

try it that one oh you did no i didn't have that one okay try it now think about applesauce right at the front end it tastes like one of those little applesauces that you get out of the tin the little plastic cup with the tin top a little tin top it does not you say that speaking of smells have you ever like like adjusted the boogers in your nose and then you can smell them no what surely someone knows what i'm talking about no like if you've ever adjusted your nose i don't know what it is like if, like, if it turns over the boogers or something that's inside your nose. But, like, it exposes a new, like, I don't know. It's like if you turn over a rock that's dry and then you flip it over and it's moist on the other side.

That's what I'm picturing is happening in my nose hole. I'm picturing, like, a dry rock that's, like, hardened off to the sun. Yeah. Then you flip it over and it's like damp underneath and that's where like the odors can escape no i don't think i've ever smelled my boogers so i feel like well surely you have because they're in your nose well this idea i've never like but you've never adjusted your nose and then you like get a bad smell and you're like oh i just i must have adjusted a booger or something. No, I just think my fingers smell like shit or something, and then I go wash my hands. Oh.

Never mind. That was supposed to be like a 30-minute debate, but you just shut it down real quick, so I guess we'll have to find something else to talk about. Have you ever wiped your ass and your finger accidentally poked the toilet paper? Poked through the toilet paper? Yeah, like gripped through the toilet paper. No, because I typically don't wipe my ass like this. I usually just kind of go like this. I don't know what you would be doing down there that would cause the finger to just shoot through the toilet paper.

Have you ever accidentally slipped off the edge of the toilet paper and just... Well, yeah. I mean, sometimes it gets ugly down there. I mean, just yesterday. I think it's because of all the candy that they brought us at work. Yeah. Are you a front to back or back to front wiper? Both.

I like to make sure everything is clear. Oh. See, I'm a... Because sometimes you'll or back to front wiper both i like to make sure everything is clear oh see i'm a because sometimes you'll go back to front and it'll be clean and then you go front to back and it'll be dirty see i can't go front i can't go back to front why because i feel like i'm gonna get it on the bottom of my nutsack i'm not gonna see it no you're not um but i'm always i'm always a front to back wiper okay one day it was so it was so bad down there i tried to wipe once i'm like fuck it i'm getting in the shower oh my god yeah i'm like there's no sense in cleaning this shit up it's a it's a losing battle down there yeah i'm like the only thing that's gonna to take me out is a high-pressure water hose. Retreat.

Have you ever used a bidet? No. I haven't either. I want to. Dude, it seems like everyone in Hollywood, it just comes stock with a bidet. Are you just now turning your hat back around? Or was it around this whole time? No, it's been backwards.

Really? I was just adjusting it. Oh, okay. Your head looked weird for some reason. My eyes are really dry. Your head looked weird for some reason my eyes are really dry your head looked weird for some reason um it seems like if any podcast that you listen to and especially what is it tushy it's like a bidet that like a lot of podcasters like indoors tushy bidet yeah yeah it sounds like anyone that uses a bidet is just like i'll never go back yeah it's the world's greatest thing.

They make you sell them to the world's greatest thing. Actually, there's a truck stop. Where's it at? Is it in Fremont? I'm pretty, well, I don't know. I feel like right in Fremont. I think my mom said there was bidets in that bathroom. A truck stop bidet sounds...

The Odessa truck stop. I'm pretty sure it does, but it only has them in the women's. Where's that? Odessa's like west from Kearney. Oh, okay. In between, you know where Overton's at? I don't know. So goes Lex. I know someone with the last name Overton, but or well you know i don't know so it goes

lex i know someone with the last name overton but no you know lexington from where i'm from yeah overton and then odessa and then carney okay i usually don't venture out that far west it's a wild wild west out there i think actually it goes overton Elm Creek Odessa. Yeah, Overton Elm Creek Odessa. I believe you. But, yeah, I've never used a bidet, and I don't know. It sounds a little scary. Dude, I want to try one. I just don't understand, dude, how it gets your ass clean.

Like, I feel like if I was to use one, I would want an experienced bidet-er with me. Like, how hard do I need to pucker? Am I going to get an enema if I don't prepare myself enough? What mode should I use? Like, because these things are getting so sophisticated that, you know, I don't know. Do I have to punch in my height and weight before I use it? Will the pressure be dependent on, you know, what's the circumference of your anus? I'm going to stop turning this way and I'm just going to look right at you. No.

Do what you need to do, brother. I think my aunt. What's up, brother? I'm pretty sure my aunt used to have a bidet I'm almost positive at their lake house that they don't live at anymore it's back in the day I'm pretty sure they had a bidet in there

go with me on this sweetheart I was trying to get you I was preparing for that one I was hoping I'd get you with that but um so so i mowed greens today and you changed all the cups except for the practice green because you never change the practice green dude let's hear the excuse i got up there and the pgm kids were out there and there was like fucking...

Were the PGM kids there at 9 a.m. when you started changing cups? I got told not to go to the putting green. What? Yeah, I was sitting up at the putting green ready to change the putting green, and Gabe goes, Game, you better get to one. These guys are going to be on your ass. Okay, okay. And before the first group, I got to 18 before the first group got to nine. So I would have had plenty of time to change the fucking... Okay. And before the first group, I got to 18 before the first group got to nine.

So I would have had plenty of time to change the fucking. Okay. Okay. I apologize. I'll back off. I apologize. Well, I apologize about that. Go with me on this.

I'm going to keep trying it. I'm going to get you. I can't believe he told us that story. Taste that. He was like. Like, I want to like it, but it tastes weird. Tangy lemon lime. It's tremendous.

You like it? Yeah. Do you want to switch? No, mine's almost gone. I can get you one of these. That's so funny, though, that he told us that story. I can't believe that's so funny though that he told us that story i can't believe that he's like i don't know if i should tell you the story that he did and i'm just like

i mean yeah it's pretty cool pretty crazy story i've never been to a strip club just make this conversation extremely out of context so they have no idea i've never been to a strip club and if i ever saw a dog do that i don't know what i would do just start saying something crazy just so they're like what are they talking about have you guys ever done something at work that was absolutely for fucking nothing because that's what I did today. We walked in. Wait, what? I was talking about my cup changing. What?

Oh, oh. You said it was completely off topic. No, no, no. No, I'm saying, I was saying, like, we didn't really give the explicit details of what the story was. So if I was just, like. We probably shouldn't. If I was to sprinkle in certain details that didn't actually happen. Yeah. Like,

like I can't believe when that guy pulled up that the mayor got out of the car. Yeah. And you'll never believe what his parrot said that was sitting on his shoulder. I don't know. I can't think of it. I'm not as snappy like that.

So anyways, I'm Woodgreens today. And like we talked about in the last episode, two episodes ago. No, the last episode. I did a bit of fantasizing. And it was pretty great. Was it? I was thinking about certain things I wanted to talk about on the pod. I put on my C418 playlist, a.k.a. Minecraft music.

And you're like, God, I just want to go fucking take Steve and I want to go down in the mine and get some diamonds and build me a house. It just feels right to listen to Minecraft music when you're doing something monotonous. Because that's what Minecraft is. It's very repetitive. Well, depending on what you're doing. Like if you're mining or building a large structure and it's a lot of the same thing over and over again. You have that background music. And I was mowing greens, which is just making passes over and over again on a mower.

And so it just felt right. I was in my zen mode. Dude, hold up. I just came up with a conspiracy theory. Let's go. Came up with like my own little conspiracy. It's not really a conspiracy theory. Let's hear it.

Do you think, because personally me, I get on Minecraft and I got that music and i'm just like doing something i lose track of time so you think it's like specifically designed music to entrance the person that's listening to it yeah it's like get you maybe because all their music i don't know if you guys have ever played minecraft if you haven't, I'm about ready to quickly explain it. All their music sounds very similar in the beats and rhythms. It's all like...

The beats and rhythms are slightly off, but the sound's different. And it's just like repetitive sounds. But there's no lyrics. There's no nothing. For the most part, it's all pretty like just soft piano. Yeah. Some maybe synth. A little synth here and there. For the most part, it's all pretty like just soft piano. Some maybe synth, a little synth here and there. And then like some of the newer stuff is kind of like lo-fi maybe.

Yeah, lo-fi. And then you get like a little triangle in there. Yeah, just like bells and piano. You know what it reminds me of? You know that toy? Did you ever have the toy xylophone? The, I, that's, I don't know if that's what it called, but the color deal that you had

a little deal with the ball and put xylophone. Is that what it's called? I don't know. Do you know what a xylophone is? Is that what it is? Like the little triangle deal, the little tiny rectangular pieces of metal that each make a different noise and you hit it with a little, yeah, yeah. Xylophone.

Yeah. metal that each make a different noise and you hit it with a little yeah yeah xylophone yeah but but there's different versions of it that are like a marimba or a i don't know did you know in in in middle school it was basically the same thing but they called them bells which is so sus anyways did i know what on a quick conspiracy theory tangent did you know that if you go in a walmart or any store you know why there's no windows i don't know or clocks and you know why you don't get any service on your phone it's for you to lose track of time so you spend more money in the store well it's the same thing that casinos do there's no clocks in there and then and there's no windows and the carpet is very like all over the place it's so that you stay in there longer and i'm pretty sure um i think they're kind of built in such a way that it's hard to find the exit if you get deeper in there like there's a

lot of twists and turns because you might walk past a machine and be like oh i want to give that a try and get you to spend more money in there so it makes sense i mean i get lost in the one on gta five so well right exactly um but i mean that could probably go for the same for a lot of stores i mean menards home like yeah there's no point that's like that's why you get shitty service and um it's so you spend more time with them so like your mom doesn't call you and be like don't buy that well or like you don't get distracted like what are what it keeps you focused on the merchandise and less on your phone yeah anyways what is like another thing that you found like like i was just saying like minecraft i feel i find it like entrancing like you get like like you get like in just this like lost track of time in yeah you just get like farming simulator lost and you're just like farming simulator again a very repetitive um medial labor type of game monotonous yeah it's

the same thing over and over again something very simple um but it takes a long time and it's very time consuming and the more you get into the game and like the more fields you get the longer the more time you spend in it like you can easily and just like in minecraft you can easily spend three hours easily spend three hours on that game oh yeah like yeah like ben and i's ben and i's world we've gotten so many fields on it it's that same fox farms field do you remember that you had the cows on yeah with the really big flat rectangle fields yeah we have like damn near half of that map bought now and we like plowed all the fields together like the top right um probably two-thirds of like the entire right side we have from the top down and we made it all one big field we call it mega field

it you have to split it up like with a normal adult that works a night like a eight hour schedule there's not enough downtime in a normal person's day where you could just harvest that in one day. Like you have to break it up over a couple of days because it easily probably takes four or five hours. But like, I know what you mean. Of real time. But it's like, it's different. I feel like, honestly, like, yeah, I know right now we're just stuck on video games, but, like, Siege. Like, I don't really, like, I lose track of time. Like, I can play it for a long time, but I don't because you have time limits on the games.

And, like, the matches, you have time limits. So, you could be, like, one more game. Yeah. One more ten-minute game, you know? It's a time slot. But, like, Minecraft or, like, Farming Simulator, there's probably Lawnm lawnmower simulator i guess there is time in that one right like that's another one of those games that you're just like it's monotonous work it's not like a sports game where it's like i'll quit when this game is over yeah with those ones

there is no end it's just constant you can keep going yeah you can do whatever you want probably the same with like an open world style game like assassin's creed there's always another mission i suppose you could say after this mission i'm done but it's like there's always so many tasks it's like trying to keep you in it's like well this won't take me very long and then it ends up taking you a while and you're like fuck i've spent another hour on this game. And I thought it was going to be 10 minutes. Yeah. Anyways, I was doing a little fantasizing while sitting on the mower. I was, you know, doing what I normally do,

thinking about my irrigation system that I want to install. I had to unbutton my pants. I was also thinking about how out of shape I am from bending over to fix ball marks and going like, wow, I'm out of shape. But with summer rolling around, I'm going to be sweating bullets. I usually knock off a few pounds once summer rolls around because I'm out just sweating my guts out every day. Yep. I've already lost some from, like, Prime Winter. Really?

Yeah, I've lost, like, two pounds. See, I'm not really, like, whenever I get on my little fitness kick where I'm like, I'm going to start going to the gym again and eating better, I'm not really concerned about a weight. So, like, I don't even have a scale. We don't even have a scale in this house. Yeah. I'm more...

If I was to go to the gym, I'd be more concerned about, like, just mobility and just feeling good. Yeah. Because, like, remember how I was saying, like, I would stretch sometimes, like, before bed? Yeah. Well, like... I need to start doing that again. You know who I envy? Who?

My, like... younger... I guess it'd be like traveling basketball. They're my coaches. Because they were just like farmers. Honestly, they were just farmers.

They probably didn't... They don't go work out. Like, it's not like here where they go out and work out at the gym no like i had one coach i would fucking throw in a big old fucking dip and we'd be he was one of my football coaches as well in the in the basketball gym yeah so he was just gutting it yeah and he's just he's like like we'd be playing basketball and he's tall so he's like teaching us like how to like make a move and like drive around him or like and dude he's fucking running up and down the court with us and i'm like that is what i want to be when i grow up i want to throw in a big old cha

not even just a cha but like i just like I'm 21 years old right now, and like I run a little bit. I'm like, holy fuck, I am gassed. But I look back and I think back to like some role models I had. This guy was probably 45 drinking beer every night, and he can still just jump on a basketball court and go. Yeah, he's probably tired at the end of it, but it's not like me. I run fucking three feet and I'm like...

You... Yeah, I mean... I don't care about being yoked. Kind of puts it into perspective a little bit. Yeah, I don't care about being yoked. I don't want to be like... You know? I would rather be just like in a decent shape.

Any young, I feel like any young, like high school person is just like, I want to get absolutely shredded and have a six pack and you've experienced what it is to live an adult life. And you're like, I just want to be able to move without hurting. Yeah. Or feeling like I'm going to die. And the craziest thing is it's more expensive to eat healthy. Healthy foods cost a lot. Like, if you wanted to get a little thing of fruit, it's like fucking $8, but it's fucking two bucks for a thing of Skittles. Yeah.

How's that work? It's... Well... America! Did you know America is the most obese country? Oh, yeah. Yeah. I don't think anyone doesn't know that um well like one of our bosses is saying that when they they went to europe and

you have to like walk for your bread you have to walk to a store to get your bread you have to walk to a store to get your milk you have to walk to a store to get your produce you have to walk to a store to get your meat a lot more active lifestyles out there versus us they're like hey if you don't want to cook tonight if you don't want to cook tonight, just stop at McDonald's and get a fucking Big Mac, you fat fucking tub of shit. And especially if you have the McDonald's app,

then you can get 13 cheeseburgers and a large fry for six bucks. Like, it's crazy, though. Dude, you know, it's crazy. Actually, let me tell you something. This is a great podcast episode. And I don't mean... This is the best podcast episode ever.

I don't want to shit on people, but like... There is people in America... Do you want a different flavor? Get your sixth. Mine didn't say that. What? I said get it. Let's go.

This is the best podcast ever. Anyways. It's kind of a not really us subject, but I kind of want to pick your brain on it. Pick me. Because. What does that mean? You see people out there, right? That are like perfectly happy being morbidly obese.

Oh, boy. Like, I'm not, like... Is this political? No, no. I'm just saying, like, it's weird because there's... Like, I don't understand it. Like... You can't...

You take something that is actually a problem. It really is a problem because they're not living a healthy lifestyle. But it's a problem it really is a problem because they're not living a healthy lifestyle but it's a problem for them it's not it's not like them being obese is affecting the economy no it's just if they don't care then it's no skin off my back yeah but it's like but it's a lot of fat on yours but i'm saying like but there's i'm i'm not saying for like the people that are like yeah i don't care like i get it i'm fat i i'm saying more for the people that are like oh my god i'm so fucking fat like there's nothing i can do about it it's like yeah there is something you can fucking do well well okay so to caveat that a little bit it is semi-genetic it is some it is

harder for some people to lose weight and it is really easy for other people to lose weight there's some people that are like i've been eating like shit my entire life and i just cannot gain weight and there's some people that are just like i try super hard and i've been you know why why are there kids that are fat well you know i've seen this instagram i was scrolling through instagram the other day and it really woke me up to the type of people that are in the world like there was there was this gal i'm not shitting on her because it's more power to her. She's probably obese, but she was, like, posted, like, a video of her at the gym. And, like, she's doing, like, a day, like, counter.

Yeah. And some guy, like, she, like, pulled up the comment. You know how they put the comment up there? He's like, why even try? I'm like. Because if I don't, I might die young. Well, but that's what I'm saying. It might be genetic with her, but she's still trying.

But there's people that it's not genetically fucking a thing, and they're like... Well, those people might be lazy. Those people might be like, it's easier to just eat McDonald's than to make... Yeah, I don't know. Which, it doesn't help that it's cheaper to eat like shit. You know, you go to the grocery store and it's like a hundred dollars a week versus if you just go buy it for a buck. Dave single,

Dave single order in the app. You know, if you, if you get coupons and deal, if you, you know, it's like, it's like a hundred bucks. It goes, Dave single, Dave single, get itons and deals. You know, it's like 100 bucks. It goes, Dave single, Dave single. Get it in the app.

Tell me that's not stuck in your head. No, I don't know what you're talking about. Well, you haven't been watching any March Madness. It's a fucking Wendy's commercial. And it's talking about getting the fucking Dave single. Order in the app. Only a buck? Yeah.

And then yet it's fucking $4 for a fucking bundle of bananas. Or $8 for a couple pounds of apples. Dude, that's what I'm saying You can go buy probably the same amount of pounds of cheeseburgers As you can in apples And the apples are probably four bucks more expensive We should do that I hope there's people that are watching this that are just like Oh my god, Jake and Cam are just now realizing that America has an obesity crisis No, we know that

We know We know It's just It's just where our brains took us today it's what we're talking about there is no script on this show there's no teleprompter back here could you imagine you guys need to talk about this this is what it would be like if we had a teleprompter i'd be like thank you guys for watching the Grass Studies podcast. I really appreciate it. And Cam would be like, could you imagine what it would be like if hamburgers costed more than... And then he'd be like, when's the last time you took a big shit? Because that's usually where our conversations divulge into. Speaking of which, last night.

Dude, I have. All that candy. Dude, I was hogging down candy yesterday at lunch. Because I was like, I'm just going to have ramen noodles. And since that's not very many calories, I can make up for it in the candy. And I pissed out of my ass last night. It was so bad. Listen, you know how I normally send you guys my diarrhea videos?

Like, I'll record myself taking diarrhea and send it to you. And it sounds atrocious. I didn't even send it. I recorded it, and I was like, this is too much. I was like, this is just too much. And I deleted it. I hit X. I hit X because I was just like, this is just,

this is going to ruin someone's evening. It's, you know, it's a night, you know. It was like. I like how he's worried about ruining our evening. This is someone's downtime right now. And I don't want to disrupt their evening by having them open this and listen to this. He's like, yeah, you'll be going to bed in two hours. You'll probably forget about it, but he'll send them first thing in the morning and literally shit on your whole day.

No, I'm just kidding. It's always perfect because he does it. Well, he sends them, but then I open them when we're in our morning meeting. And part of me just wants to turn it all the way up just so they just hear Jake just go. Tom's like, I think we need to get greens on today. Oh, fuck. They usually sound inhuman yeah it's no i have a couple people on my phone i like to send them to do you okay i've did your i know they're gonna be bad that's why i'm recording i can feel

it do you remember like your dad like always i remember always in the morning i'd be like my dad would be like making it packing his lunch or whatever before he took me to school and i'd be like getting out of the shower getting dressed in my room and i could just hear him just rip a fucking loose cannon fart just fart yeah and it was just like oh that's a dad fart you know like just by the pitch and the sound of it i've been your dad have just dad shits? Like, did your dad take shits where you're just like, that's a dad shit. You just had a different smell to it.

I don't know about the smell, but one time on one of my school papers, I wrote the throne. My dad's throne was a toilet. Because, like, every morning, he would just go take a long shit. He probably has the same thing going on. Because you and Spencer were both just like, do you have...

You candidly were just like, do you have diarrhea every morning? And I was just like, I mean, not every morning. But my morning regimen is... So, I give you a lot of shit for being a fascinating creature. If I was under a microscope, like if an alien, if there's an alien civilization that chose to study me, they'd probably U-turn. You chug coffee. So what I do is I have my pot of coffee. Okay, this is when I'm getting ready to go to bed or the night before. I have like my half a pot of coffee. Okay, this is when I'm getting ready to go to bed. Or the night before.

I have like my half a pot. Okay. Because at one point you have to. Okay, I'll get to this. You have your pot of coffee from the day before. You have like half a pot of coffee from the day before. You fill up your thermos, my Stanleyley halfway up and put that in the fridge so you have cold coffee okay cold black coffee undiluted okay because now i make a fresh pot

of coffee set the timer so the next morning i have a fresh hot pot of coffee. Yeah. I'm ignoring your fart. I might have just had diarrhea. I'm ignoring your fart. So the next morning I wake up, fresh hot pot of coffee, full. I take my half thermos of cold coffee out of the fridge, and I take my hot coffee and fill it up until it's full. Now, it's not usually it's pretty cool it's not hot well yeah because your metal is probably cold so right so i chugged that down about seven gulps i'm a bit ocd seven gulps because that's a good number and then it's about a quarter full of semi-lukewarm coffee. Like, kind of chilled coffee.

Not cold. And then I'll take that pot again. Like piss warm. Maybe. No, not piss warm. Still decently cold. So, colder than piss warm. Sure, yes. Okay, it's colder than piss warm. Maybe room temperature. Okay, okay. So, then

I'll take the hot coffee again and I'll fill it the rest of the way up and it'll be hot slash very warm but not burn your mouth hot just the perfect temperature for just casually drinking and i've got this down to a science so it's perfect so that initial chugging of coffee anyone knows if you drink black coffee it'll make make you poop. And I'm chugging like half a Stanley down. So then when I get to work, usually my tummy will start to rumble a little bit. And I'll have to hop off to the bathroom and get my morning diarrhea out of the way. Then.

Do you have regular shits throughout the day, though? No, because I think that usually cleans me out and takes care of it like but then but then the next day i'll have my half pot again because i use that yeah the day before all right when was the last time honestly not trying to go to poop talk because poop talk we've already said is poop talk i hate talking about poop but like we've also you know anyways fuck that um when was the last time you had a normal shit like a nice chunky turd well yesterday i took one i took a normal poop in the evening and then i went and sat down on the couch hung out for a while and then i had to get up and take a diarrhea i don't know i don't know i don't know if that

original one was just the hoover dame that was holding back the floodgates or what. And I think it was from all the candy. It had to be from all the sugar we ate. Because our boss brought us in a three-gallon plastic bag full of candy. And he's like, my wife told me to get this out of our kitchen because we've got three of these bags at home. And we don't need our, I don't know, how old are these kids? Fucking like eight and six. Yeah.

Something like that. We don't need them eating that much candy. So we're like, okay. Seven and six maybe. We're like, God forbid. Passover the starburst.

Dude, we had that bag for like a day and it's like nothing but jelly beans. It was mainly us too. We were fucking destroying that bag. Yeah. We both love candy. I think Spencer opened one package of Starburst and he gave them to me because they were orange. And you're like, ah, give me that.

They were orange and yellow. I got to work the other day, and I, okay, so I found, I'm not a big breakfast person. I'm just not hungry. I have black coffee for breakfast. Yeah, I'm just. And then shit my brains out I'm not like hungry when I wake up right neither am I

but I'll get hungry like you know 45 minutes after I wake up an hour after I wake up so I found these smoothies like greek yogurt smoothies and I'm like okay well now I can just grab one of these when i

leave the house and i know here in 45 minutes i'll be hungry and i'll just eat like drink this and then it'll fill me up enough to maybe get me the lunch there you go if not it'll get me filled up enough that i'll be out working and probably won't think about how hungry i am there you go i've been trying to like if i get hungry i I'll, like, chug some water to try to fill up my belly so I'm not super hungry. Makes sense. But, anyways, but so the other morning, this is, like, also with the candy. We have a probably quart. It's probably a quart bag of Starburst of like the individually two pack.

Just like a normal sandwich bag. Yeah. A sandwich bag. Yeah. And the other morning I finished my smoothie and I'm like, man, I'm still fucking hungry. I walk out on the, I walk out there to our break room and the bag of Starburst are just sitting there and I just walk up and I'm like, look at at spencer just grab it really quick and stuff it in my pocket it's funny because we were sitting there like eating our starburst and we would talk about like which colors we got because everyone

knows pink is the best red is the second best then orange then yellow right or do you like i'm a red yellow more than ridge oh you like red more than red? Oh, you like red more than pink? Yeah. So everyone usually knows it's either red or pink that's first. Yeah. That's the best. And then orange and yellow. This red is too good. I need some shitty yellow to fucking remind me what it's... I just realized.

Here I am talking about all the fucking fat people we have in America. And then here's me. Yeah, I ate about 60 packages of fucking Starburst for breakfast. Because we were sitting there eating our Starburst and we're just like, dude, you'll never believe it. I pulled two pinks out of this one.

And then I got a pink red and then I got a red orange, which is okay. It's pretty good, you know. But I got a double pink and we're like dude no way so when you're just like have you ever gotten the one where it's all pink and reds and i'm just like dude i feel like that's cheating like we both knew exactly what i was talking about yeah like it's just sometimes like i like the favorite reds because it is all the good flavors but then you like get halfway through and you're like, all right, well, now they just all taste the same.

I need something in there to spice this thing up a little bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe a little bit of a palate cleanser. Because if you're like me and you have a normal pack of Starburst, you'll eat the yellows first, then the oranges first. You are way too fucking OCD. There's a reward at the end. There's a reward at the end.

No, I just eat them with the way they go. Because then it's like, oh, ooh, yellow. Ooh, piece of candy. You're just like, yuck, yuck, yummy, yummy. Yuck, yuck, yummy, yummy. You're playing a game with yourself. But I'm kind of doing. I'm edging my taste buds.

Yeah, you're edging your taste buds. That's kind of what I'm doing, except I'm just like, I'm creating a reward for myself at the end. You get through all those disgusting yellow and oranges and then you're just on the other side of that you're climbing the fence and then you hop over on the other side and you're freedom you're in America dude it's bad I farted it's bad America is bad that's so wild that I knew exactly what you meant when you were just like, I like to throw a yellow or orange in there to cleanse my taste buds. Dude, it's...

Okay, have you ever had Mambas? Yes. I do like those. Those ones you got to work real hard for. Yeah, you got to come in like the... They come in like a big brick, but they have like the strawberries and all those. I know. I've had them.

We had a kid that his mom would pack his lunch for him and he would no way he would bring a sleeve of mambas his mom would pack a sleeve of mambas with him every day what every day i can't decide if she's a cool mom or well i'm not encouraging obesity i think he had like a little bit of I don't know he might have had a little bit of autism I don't know what I'm not saying it as a shitty human being I'm not making fun of him by any means

he was a little different but he would like his mom would pack him a lunch and he would eat it the same way every single time I would but he would like sit his same way every single time. I would. But he would like sit his stuff out and like organize it.

He might have had a little OCD. Cut the brother some slack. And like his mom. What color did he eat first of the Mambas? Wait, wait, let me get to it. He would get a pack of Ritz crackers. Like one of the little packs of Ritz crackers. Like one of the little packs of Ritz crackers. And he would eat

summer sausage and cheese every day. Okay. But instead of like stacking them on top of each other, he would go Ritz cracker,

chew, chew a little bit, throw pieces of summer sausage in the bowl, chew, chew a little bit, throw a piece of cheese in, and then just stack it all. Whoa. So he was like, he all whoa like an individual flavor and

then all together flavor he was the type of guy that like doesn't like to mix his food beforehand he likes to use his mouth as a cement mixer to mix the flavors yeah that takes some balls anyways i thought it was the coolest thing ever because i sat like you're like i sat down at a table next to him cam cam are you gonna share your homework with me you're just transfixed with this guy's eating habits so i sat down the table from him a little bit and he wouldn't at first i was just like sitting there like with with a few of my friends, and he'd never say anything to me. And one day, I just get a little shh over to me, and it was the yellow Mambas. And he just slid the entire thing over to me.

He would eat only the strawberry and the... Fuck, what other flavors are there? I think it was a raspberry. Pink and raspberry. Pink and raspberry, and then there's yellow and orange, well what's the pink the strawberry one strawberry and one's red though i think the pink is the raspberry actually raspberry is probably red look it up um that's insane so you never talk to this kid and one day he slides him to you yeah it's like it's almost as if he was like you know what i've seen you've been peeping my eating habits and you left

me alone you didn't say anything i'm gonna give you i'm gonna slide you a little reward this time and so then it but now they're the yellows they're the ones i don't really like but i'm gonna reward you a little bit but see it was like was like, that was like his order. Like he, it became like a normal thing. Like, and that's why I'm thinking like, like I'm not. If he did it differently, you'd be like, what's wrong with him? You'd be like, he must be having a bad day or something. He's eating his food out of order.

Like, yeah, but like even it started becoming a thing. Like he would like walk up to me and like, he kind of like started talking to me. Like this kid, I don't, even it started becoming a thing. Like, he would, like, walk up to me, and, like, he kind of, like, started talking to me. Like, this kid, I don't think this kid rarely talked to anybody. And he would just start, like. So you had an unspoken bond over his lunch habit. Yeah, and then he just, like, would start randomly. Like, he started talking to me a little bit. This is the kind of shit that fascinates the fuck out of me.

He started talking to me a little bit. And, um. Yep, that was right there. What is that is that okay so it's raspberry strawberry orange and lemon yep raspberry strawberry orange and lemon so he would only eat the raspberry and strawberry the ones more of like a hot pink and the ones like the ones like a pink and the ones red i think okay yeah i know what you're talking about um so anyways it started becoming the thing like he wouldn't talk to me for like forever like i didn't even know this kid's name he would just slide me his mom buzz and i'd be like thanks but i would like whenever i'd be like thanks i'd like look over at him

and he would just be sitting there like eating his food like you just like quick slide him and just like he didn't want anyone to notice like eating his food like you just like quick slide him and just like he didn't want anyone to notice like he was just like a this i feel like i'm in a western movie like you just slide it across the counter like i wasn't like it wasn't like real far like i wasn't sitting real far from him but okay so you put like this distance in between us like yeah, yeah. But like nobody would sit by him. He would just sit there like he liked his personal space. It's almost like he wanted to do it for you, but he didn't want the recognition for it. But the weirdest thing is his mom always packed him Mambas.

But every day he would – it started to get to the point where he would like give them to me, but I'd be full at lunch. Yeah. And like we kind of started talking, and he'd like walk up to me now. And like he would like give him to me but i'd be full at lunch yeah and like we kind of started talking and he'd like walk up to me now and like he would like give him to me i'm like no i'm almost like you guys had an unspoken contract where he gave you mambas every yeah and i was like this is so cool i was like this is the kind of shit that fascinates me i was like no like i'm good like i'm full and he's like, you have to take them. And then one day I said, no, I'm full. And he just left them there. Like he would not eat the orange and yellows.

So then I kind of felt shitty because I'm like, okay, well now. I thought you were going to say like every so often I would save one. And now I have a rain barrel full of yellow mambas. No. That'd be pretty cool though. No, but he just like left the orange and yellow. It's like full package on there. And then I kind of felt bad because this kid's like spending money on his lunch and like

bringing it. And I know they just wipe the tables and they just throw them away. And so then. Damn. And so then. Where did the mambas go? One day. I guess.

It's not about the journey. I don't know if he told his mom. It's not about the end. told his mom it's not about the end it's about the mambas you met along the way that he didn't like him or what but he just eventually didn't he just started bringing um i can't remember what he but he kept bringing mambas for a while i was like maybe maybe's up, bro? Maybe he told his mom, like, hey, I started, like, meeting this kid. I've been giving him my Mambas. And she's like, well, I'll keep packing them so you can keep making a friend. And then you kind of stopped taking them from him.

Well, we still, like... I'm just kidding. I'm just giving you chit. No, I... Like, if I'd seen him, i'd say hi because like honestly he wasn't a kid that had a lot of friends like he was a kid that didn't have hardly any friends i'm like okay well if he wants to be my friend like i'm probably not gonna hang out with him outside of school yeah but he could be a school acquaintance yeah like and i started like saying like hey

what's up like yeah or like pe Or, like, P.E. I'd put him on my team. What if he was just secretly, like, grooming you? He's just, like, he's doing a social experiment where he's, like, I'm going to start giving this guy candy and see how much of my friend I can make him. And then you're just, like, I'm not going to come over to your house for the sleepover. And he's, like, oh, fuck. But, like. Experiment's over.

Really, I kind of thought about that, too. Like, I was, like. No. I was, like. What if he's like oh fuck but like experiment's over really i kind of thought about that too like i was like no i was like what if he's testing me no no like i'm saying like his whole candy thing it was like it would be cool like if you just wanted a friend like somebody to talk to and like kind of be like a school acquaintance with you don't have to offer me something it's like to the point oh and that's like you almost felt bad yeah i started saying no like like also to his candy like you thought he was offering it to you so you would talk to him yeah and you were just like i don't need to take the candy i can i can talk to you and be your friend without because this there was a couple exchange happening just left it on the table yeah he would just put it

back in his lunchbox i'm like okay well maybe he'll just eat them later but maybe he was just like secretly like i'm not hungry right now and i want somebody like you felt bad that he was wasting them yeah leaving them on the table yeah yeah like he was just like yeah fuck it out need him and i was like i'll just get another pack tomorrow yeah my mom will pack that shit for me maybe she worked in like a mama factory or something. She just bought them in bulk or something. I don't know. Why do they have so many mamas?

But it was such a weird experience. It was such like a weird like. And you would say like hi to him. And he would just like wave. Or like hi. Like I don't think I. I cannot tell you a time where this kid was probably giving me mamas for like a year. Or like. Do you remember his name?

Yeah, his name is Bruce. Bruce? It was actually Bruce. We're not going to say his last name. We need to reach out to him. I don't know if he has any social media though. Dude, that would be so cool if we could reach out to him. You know what would be super cool?

We should try to figure out where he is or something and just mail him a pack of Mambas. That'd be sick. I'll look it up tonight. We should try to do it. We should try to find him and send him a pack of Mambas and then just be like, Hey, just thinking about how many you gave me in school for free and I thought I'd pay it forward. Yeah. That'd be sick.

That would be cool. And see if he, like, forward. Yeah. That'd be sick. That would be cool. And see if he, like, responds. Yeah. It was, this is the weirdest, like, experience I've ever had in my life. Because, like, it was, like, cool, cool, cool.

And then we were at such a school, I'd eventually... Then you just faded away. Yeah, like, it was, like, it was a weird experience, and it was, like, kind of like a friendship that just went unnoticed. You had like a little unspoken bond.

Yeah. Like we didn't have to talk. You were just cool with each other and you're like, that guy's a nice guy. I'm a nice guy to him. And the world goes round. Yeah. I think we got to end it on that I feel good

I'm a little bit buzzed I gotta piss We talked about diarrhea We talked about obesity We talked about a weird social encounter Pretty much a perfect episode Yeah we talked about a little bit of everything We had some heartwarming discussions We had some shitting discussions

We had some pissing discussions We had morbidly obese I think we covered every bodily orifice um tune in for next week where we give you guys a sex talk um thank you all right actually before we go i know you guys probably won't leave comments but i had the idea i have an idea we take something that's not political going on in the world and debate about it it's like a drunk podcast like this will be like our drunk episodes i've seen this guy isn't that every episode but this guy does trying to solve a cold case oh i've seen that old case with a cold case and he finishes a cold case i've've seen that. So I was thinking like something a little bit more funny. How we can solve

like a problem that's going on in the world but we gotta be absolutely fucked up. Can we just be a little buzzed? I mean we normally record these on weeknights. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Not like I'm saying not like trash but like where we're feeling goofy, you know?

I think that'd be funny. When we're a little bit wayward. Okay, guys, if you're listening thus far, first of all, thank you for doing so. Please leave a comment if there's any sort of problems. If there's a problem, a disagreement you might have with someone or things you've just never gotten an answer that you need an answer to and you would like us to discuss it and hopefully come up with a solution

that might maybe come to fruition for you. It also pays out because we were arguing about the cappuccino forever. Right. If you and a friend are having an argument about something and you want us to settle it. Yeah.

Please leave a comment. And in either the next episode or a following episode, we will tackle it for you. And we will try our darndest to make it so that you can rest the following night. Yeah. Thank you guys so much for watching and listening if you are not subscribed to us on youtube and you're just listening right now um get your ass over there subscribe button hit turn the bell turn the bell notification like and subscribe turn on notifications um uh logan paul's a bitch i'm calling you out i'm boxing you next i'm just you know what fuck it i'm not even going for jay paul i boxed logan come fucking get in the

fucking octagon with me i'm i should box logan paul and you should no we should tag team wrestle logan paul and jake paul okay us two versus them. It's going down. Mark your calendars. TBD. They're actually kind of yoked, though. No, they're not. WWE is not real, though. Okay.

I might have to bleep that in case there's any WWE fans. Don't want to break kayfabe. Anyways. I'm calling out Conor McGregor Floyd Mayweather Mike Tyson Mike Tyson Patty Pimblitt I want to go four on one those four against me in a boxing match

and I'll pay you guys all off so I can win thank you guys for watching audio only on Spotify and Apple podcast code grass at shank at golf.com 50 off anything in stores um follow us on instagram at grass studies podcast.com thank you guys for watching and until next time always chug your black coffee so you i was gonna do something i was gonna do something heartfelt You do yours and then I'll do mine Until next time

Until next time Always chug black coffee Until you have a hot acidic diarrhea If there's a quiet kid sitting in the lunchroom That doesn't have very many friends Just sit next to him You don't have to talk to him But just sit next to him so he feels less alone.

Stay tuned for the next episode. That too. Take these dreams and make them mine. Can you take me higher?