Grass Daddies Podcast - Grass Daddies Podcast Episode 51: Hitch hikin'

Episode Date: August 5, 2024

In this episode of the Grass Daddies Podcast, Kam climbs out of the iron lung and into the podcast studio! The boys catch up with cold "beer" in hand as Kam realizes just how dirty the lyrics to Boats n' Hoes were when he sang it for his girlfriend's family doing karaoke. Jake gives an update on their favorite Casey's cashier and talks about the new hot worker that was in need of a ride. Together the boys discuss million-dollar ideas and plan elaborate gender reveals that each would do. SHANKITGOLF.COM Code:grass Follow us on Social Media! Youtube: grassdaddiespodcast Instagram: @grassdaddiespodcast @kamdenwellmann @jakekillham Tik Tok: @kandenwellmann (yes that's how it's spelled) @jakekillham11

Hear me out real quick. This isn't going to be a fucked up joke, but... You know, you hear about what Ted Bundy did, and you're like, how could any human being do that? And then you are, you know, and then you're like, okay. Alright, I understand. It makes a little bit of sense. Ted Bundy wasn't that bad of a guy. I mean, I get what he was doing.

Welcome to the Skibbity Frog podcast. That's Cam, I'm Jake, and we are the Grass Daddies! Welcome back to the pod. I've been having to... It felt good to do the real intro again. I've been having to come up with, I'm Jake and I'm a grass daddy and this is... It just doesn't sound right. It doesn't flow right. Yeah.

Flow-rida, but... You've just been missing your Rizlord, bro. We got the boys back in the studio today. Cam is in town because his fian his fiance is doing some wedding hair. Yep. Right? I've never heard of anyone getting their pubes done for a wedding before, but that was really nice of her to volunteer to do that. I'm getting my shit braided.

You should grow your pubes out and have her do a cornrow. Yeah, I'm getting cornrows all the way down. From my chest pubes down to my ball throw. Yeah. Right before we started recording, he's like, I watched Step Brothers again the other day. And I was like, oh, you did? I thought you didn't like that movie. But okay, so there's so much stuff that we wanted to talk about. He's like, oh, and then I'm like, wait, save it for the pod.

I hate doing that because I feel like an asshole. It's all right. Sometimes when good conversation is about to flow, I'm like, this would be good podcast material. You're talking to the true Rizzler. You keep saying that. So why don't you tell us why you're all of a sudden now the Rizzler? I don't know. Pull your mic up a little bit.

My Instagram reels are nothing but skivity and... Your algorithm is giving you that shit? And people going... What is that? You ever watch those videos of just cringy-ass people? Move it like this. Of people doing just cringy-ass shit and how they're the alpha? Maybe.

And then they're just calling people a baka. I don't even know what that fucking means but i need you better you better figure out what it means in case you've been saying it and you shouldn't be no it's on people's cringy things so it can't be that bad whenever it says whenever someone says cringe abaca or when you say cringe is that what you're saying abaca baka Baka. B-A-K-A. But you were saying cringe Ibaka. Oh, I don't know. And it's making me think of Serge Ibaka, which is like, he played for the Thunder. Yeah.

So I keep thinking of him, and I'm like, what's so cringey about Serge Ibaka? But you were saying guys at work are calling you the Rizzler now? No. Oh. No. Oh, okay. I was just being stupid, but yeah. I mean, that could be my new nickname.

Sure. When you're working for a water treatment, what kind of women are you running into that you're Rizzing up? Or men. I'm Rizzing up turds, bro. You're just Rizzing them up? Yeah. Just the turds just disintegrate when they talk to me.

So I have work this afternoon so i'm hoping the mini fridge didn't give us beer no the the the magic black mini fridge sent me a snapchat last night no yeah and it said it's dropping four locos today oh my i have work I have work at 1. It is 9.13 a.m. I really hope there's not alcohol in here. But you're in the spot. You're manning the fridge. So what? I didn't knock.

Oh. I like to knock. I like to knock first. You got to knock before you come in. You don't know if the black magic mini fridge is spanking. The light bulb might be changing. Is that what the joke is? Oh. Hey, it's beer it's kind of beer it's beer it is beer it even came in like the little rings yeah classic rings yeah it's like a 12 pack no eight pack i can't tell you soft crack little gas leak there

you're used to gas leaks aren't you murder that whole thing no just delete it shotgun that beer, dude. Strop, er, tornado that little bottle. How many ounces are these even? Twelve ounces?

These are twelve ounces? I'm used to handling things this small. I'm not, I don't wanna... I don't want you to spew. We're four and a half minutes in. And you're using Spencer's laptop that he left here. I think I heard the squirrels squeaking. Okay, so Lena texts me yesterday.

She sends me this text. I look on my phone, but it's recording. And goes, what are the chances we could take in a few squirrels from Nebraska Wildlife because they're overrun or whatever? And I'm like, I'm so down. I didn't even think about it. I just, the idea of bringing in squirrels, I'm like yeah i'm like how many and she's like 12 and i was like so she's like we have to go right after work and go get them from omaha and they need fed uh every five hours i was like so how are you gonna do it when you're at work

i'm not doing it. I like the idea, but I ain't doing shit to keep them up. I was picturing the idea of squirrels. Have you ever seen those videos of we rescue this squirrel and it becomes domesticated? Yeah. And then it just runs around the house and climbs up you and you stick your hand out. It'll run and jump onto your hand. Dude, I know. That's what I'm trying to do.

That'd be so awesome. I was picturing that and I was like, fuck fuck yeah let's get some squirrels in here they'll probably think i'm a tree and climb me that sounds kind of weird and they make little cock koozie welcome back cam um but yeah i guess i wasn't really thinking about just exactly how much work was gonna to go into it. But luckily, that's what Lena used to do for a job back in the dizzy. Back in the old dizzy. She would commute from her parents' house to Omaha every day. So she'd leave at like fucking 3 in the morning or some shit. I don't even know.

But yeah. Fuck that. Yeah, I was in there when Lena was feeding them, and these two little squirrels, man. Shit. Shit was getting wild. They just, I just heard. Which is the noise they make when they're getting fed from the little, like, squeezy thing with the little nipple on the end. Yeah.

But it wasn't. I go, man, one squirrel's in there spanking his shit. And I go, or getting his dick sucked. And Lena goes, yeah, one squirrel's in there spanking his shit. And I go, or getting his dick sucked. And Lena goes, yeah, they do do that. And I'm like, oh, I didn't know that. And then I looked through the little cage part of the little cat carrier, and I just see one squirrel just getting buck.

Just going ham. And I guess they're looking for milk. Well, I wonder if he got any. Probably not at this age. I thought milk was usually sweet. This is pretty tangy. This is salty and sticky. So, yeah.

You know, just good old classic squirrel fellatio. It was awesome. We'll title this. Yeah, it was great. Welcome back to my squirrely pans. wonder of nature early fans the wonder of nature this girl's giving head to each other this is yellow and this is purple tinky winky um so yeah she she was like, yeah, she got them in. She had to stay up until 2 a.m. last night to feed them. Ain't no way. But I think this is, like, only for, like, the first couple rounds.

She doesn't have to feed them at 5 a.m. Or, I mean, doesn't have to feed them every five hours. Like, from here on out, I think. Oh. So. These are pretty fire. Root beer is good. Speaking of root beer, did you ever, did you clean up before you guys moved out of your apartment?

Did you clean up your geyser that you had? I don't remember if we talked about it on here. We probably did. My geyser. You were, well, describe it. Like, tell me the story. You were walking out to go to work. Or you were taking Ruger down to pee or something.

No, I was walking out to work. And he yoinked you, I thought. No, I was just walking down to work. You were just walking. Yeah, and I dropped a root beer. A root beer. And in our stairwell, now there's just root beer all over because it went. Was it like a bottle? or was it a can?

It was a can and then it like exploded. It exploded. A little pinhole in there. And then it was just. It sprayed everywhere. I was so mad because it was my last root beer. It ruined my day off the rip. The whole day went to shit after my root beer went.

So you weren't thinking about the repercussions that maintenance might be like why is the wall sticky you were just mad about losing your last root beer i yeah i got i got fucking excited and i just spurged were you just running down the stairs or what tripped and fell your drop foot got you again? Yeah. Damn thing. I don't know what. I think I just slipped it out of my hands or something. Oh, I remember. I was trying to get my key fob, like on my keys, so I can unlock my pickup.

And then I was fumbling around with that. So I had my can in my arm, I guess, and I'm sitting there trying to get my keys in. Oh, and it slid out. You fumbled. Yeah, I fumbled. I fumbled the ball, yeah. Yeah, you got to have five points of contact on that can at all times. Yeah. And so, yeah.

Just like I'm going to be doing to you after we record on the new college football. No, don't let him fool you. I'm just the greatest NCAA player of all time. You got the talking done so what else is new well you missed beer olympics which sucks but then i missed your beer olympics which also sucked yeah um did you sing big john for me no did anybody no so it wasn't a true beer olympics i sang it wasn't me by shaggy wait wait okay we'll get to that did you sing the part where he goes that part did you sing that uh tried are there lyrics for it yeah and so for the first time

ever you were like that's what he says. Yeah. Yeah. Because no one knows. I did that with a lot of songs because that was the first time I've ever been like actually coherent. Singing karaoke at Summer Olympics. And that's like boats and hoes. I didn't realize they said half the shit they say when they start talking really fast.

A song in a movie you relentlessly watch. Yeah, but they say it so fast you don't really understand it until you're reading the words you're like oh my god so you're like i don't think it's that explicit and then you're like every time i come i produce a court oh my god i never realized that they said something about coming in your hair what what do they say they say i can't remember exactly what it is, but it's something that, like, coming in your hair. Dude, there's a lot of shit. Should we do a sing-along? There's a lot of shit that you didn't know that they fucking say in it.

Boats and Hoes lyrics. This is kind of becoming a new thing, and by thing i mean it's um the last couple episodes i've been like researching on my laptop because i have to produce my own podcast put on your life vest let's drop anka there's a nice lady whore i'd like to spank her did you know they said that um i don't think so make sure to wax use your mom's nair you'll be amazed when i come in your hair what yeah i didn't realize it was that bad until i was sitting there singing it i'm like oh my god it makes the song even better wait so they couldn't have put all of this in the movie i think maybe they just only did part of the song even better wait so they couldn't have put all of this in the movie

i think maybe they just only did part of the song they didn't sing the whole song in the movie did they anchors away and shiver me timbers we like to fuck ladies with our eight inch members i do think they did not say that in the movie no way we could look look up the singing part no we can't do you think that is uh do you think we could get uh copyrighted probably um but that's okay you can just imagine it go look up boats and hoes yeah and uh because when you sing it in karaoke, you're like, holy fuck. Anyways, I kind of want another root beer. I have a... I cannot drink slowly. I can't, no matter what it is.

And also, when it comes to drinking liquids, I'm always averse to drinking something that in my mind doesn't have a real effect purpose so like if it doesn't have caffeine i'm like first of all what's the point no shit second of all i understand drinking like a gatorade or something that has electrolytes like if it's something that'll hydrate me or give me energy, I'm in. But if it's, like, a Sprite, I'm like, no. What's the point? Like, who the fuck wants to drink water? No, I like water because it hydrates me. Or beer because it gives me a buzz. Or caffeine.

Because it makes me fucking tweak out. Because it makes me tweak out. But, like, a root beer, I'm like, I mean, yes, it tastes good, but like a root beer i'm like i mean yes it tastes good but also there's no caffeine in it yeah so it's just sugar yeah well so you get a sugar high so i really just like drinking things with caffeine or things that i feel like or like like a liquid iv or like an emergency i'm I got to drink something that'll like do something to my body. Hard crack.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I get you. Oh my God. I got some free to try that I found and I would assume they have them here, but I don't know.

Oh my God. Oh my God. So, you know, body armors, right? Yes. Well, they made and like, it's like a liquid iv but it's called body armor flash okay flash iv if you're dehydrated get you one it has like 2930 electrolytes in it what yeah and every time i drink one it's like i have to piss like six times in the little deal so the little deal it's like probably 12 ounces what do you what you're pissing in a little deal like i'm saying like it's a not very much fluid

for oh oh and it's making you piss oh yeah i got you i got you yeah um recently at the gas station spencer and i saw these um um spencer has turn your mic a little bit it looks like it's facing there you go um spencer has become my new gas station buddy we go we frequent at lunch i thought i honestly thought with cam leaving i'm trying to look at the positives one of one of them being i'll stop making so many gas station runs, which is unhealthy and a lot of money. I told you it wasn't me. It wasn't me. I wasn't the problem.

Jake was the problem. Cam coming on the counter. Wasn't me. Exactly. Something banging in the podcast room. Is our lady still working there? The pregnant one? Or is she on maternity leave?

She might be on leave because she hasn't been there the last couple weeks. So I don't know. I got a funny thing to tell you about that, too. So Spencer has taken over and nothing has really changed. But now he just plays slots with you because there for a while I would have played slots. He doesn't really play them either. It's literally nothing has changed. He's just taking your spot.

Well, right before I left, Jake was like, you guys want to go and put money in the slots and spencer's like yeah and jake could walk away at like 45 dollars no and spencer would spend 50 and come out with nothing no well actually yesterday we went and i put in 10 and pulled out 25 so i won 15 but um anyways c4 has um i can't remember what it's called but it's instead of 200 milligrams of caffeine now it's 300 and spencer's like dude if you get the pre-workout powder you'll be itching yeah and he's like yeah i was like yeah those pins and needles and i was like i don't really feel them that badly unless i'm like if it's like the first thing in the morning and i haven't if there's nothing else in my body i'll i'll kind of feel a little tingle but but yeah they have like 300 milligram ones now and i had took one of those bad boys to the face and i felt ready to go um but so i was there the other day

because the running thing about the gas station lady from casey's that's pregnant and lets everyone know she's pregnant yeah and is always finding a way to bring it up yeah well she did it again the other day oh did she. They were literally sitting behind the counter and they were like folding towels or like folding rags. Now, I want you to try to even figure out how you could. I got it. Yeah. What'd she say?

I haven't been able to use a rag for a while because. Not that kind of rag. I don't even know if you can... You don't fold those. Anyways. I'm just saying, they're rags. She could have said something about being on a rag. I don't know. Well, she didn't go, yeah, I haven't got my period in a while.

She didn't announce that to the store. She goes, they were folding the rags and i'm checking out nobody is saying anything and she just goes yeah pretty soon i'm gonna be folding baby clothes and i was just like i just left my shit on the counter left i didn't even pay for it no but you know what the what the smoke show lady did what she was she was also there folding she was just like like you could tell she's over it because she must hear it all the time oh shit i would have loved if she was just like oh are you pregnant or something just threw it right back in her face. That would have been so nice.

Yeah, pretty soon I'm going to be folding baby clothes. And you're just like, would you shut the fuck up already? Why don't you take one of those and shove it in your mouth? That's fucking funny. One of these days when I'm back, I told Bailey the next time we come to lincoln i'm like i'm gonna make like a weekend out of it i'm fucking tired of coming down and leaving the next day the past three times i've been here it's been i come down so are you leaving today yeah okay later this afternoon yeah or whenever bailey's done yeah braiding those pubes yeah after she gets done giving me my cornrows um anyways um um that got awkward

your train of thought but uh yeah okay it kind of sucks because my gas station clerks aren't as cool as like our pregnant lady but whatever like she's kind of weird but she's also it's funny it's like a unique like it's an exciting experience it's it's exciting now because we've just made a meme out of it right um and um the other day i was driving home she oh my god she is going to become the next how women announce that they're pregnant they're going to get like a t-shirt that says hey did you know i'm pregnant yeah i wonder what her gender reveal is going to be like like they're going to all be waiting around and she's just going to walk in the room be like i'm

having a boy like there's not going to be any suspense or drama to it she's just like yeah i used to like men but now i'm having a girl so yeah she'll try to find some weird way to incorporate it that doesn't make any sense somebody'll just somebody'll just say like they're yelling at their kid because their kid's being a little dick behind them just running around or something they're like pretty soon carl get back here i'm gonna be yelling at my boy here pretty soon they're like way to fucking ruin it pretty soon i'm gonna be yelling at a kid too have you have you seen all the stupid my instagram is also filled with those just stupid ass gender reveals did you see the one video where the plane goes right overhead

and then immediately crashes like the second it goes over the trees no oh my god it's fucking crazy they're all just like and then they're just like they like they hear a noise and they all turn and they just like turn right back around and keep celebrating again it's like are we not gonna that plane crashed like i died i i seen one the other day of some guy that was a plumber and he was like snaking a drain no and he just it popped like a pink like the water was in there and it was just pink water so when he snaked it the water just rolled out i'm like okay let's come up with um crazy elaborate gender reveals okay that we could apply to us and the things we like to do okay um jake's gonna spread fertilizer that's pink

okay that's that's one option i guess like i'm gonna fertilize my yard and then i go to load it up and just come into the backyard and start spreading it and pink fertilizer flies out yeah that would work i guess um you're just changing a cup and there's just a balloon of fucking hidden like a pink or blue powdery balloon you just oh my god it's a boy what if i i was changing cups but i like buried a blue golf ball in the green, but then I couldn't find it, so I kept going around, and I'm like, hold on, it's in here somewhere, and I cut, like, 18 cups before I can fucking find it, and I finally pull it out. You're like, oh my god, it's a boy! Alright, I'm fucking exhausted. Yeah.

Um, what's another one? I'm, like, smoking something, one i'm like smoking something and i'm like they're like i i put somehow like a blue or pink hunk of meat i guess in the in the smoker and they're like oh my god i can't wait to look and like someone goes to open it i'm like whoa whoa whoa if you're looking you're not cooking we gotta wait 18 hours before we can reveal this we gotta wait nine months because if you're looking that's some that's some slow that's real low and slow that's dry aged i just saw a video of a guy that like dry aged some kind of beef for a year because he forgot about it and like left it in like a dehydrator or something and pulled it out after a year and the whole thing was like black and gray

he's like well let's try to cook it and he like sliced off a piece of it and like seared it he's like it's actually got a pretty good sear and he like cut a piece off of it and like put it in his mouth and was like and then it just cut to him like spitting it out in the like he was like washing his mouth out in the sink but now what would what would your gender reveal be you take a handle of tito's and delete the whole thing and at the bottom it says it's a boy you're like that's possible it may mean it's clear bottle so it'd be pretty obvious once i tip it up but they're like we can see it you don't have to keep going hold on i can't read it backwards i gotta be able to turn the bottle right retired round um what else what else what's a cam thing what's well i've already seen the ones of people like hitting a golf ball

yeah that's basic yeah that shit basic as fuck um i watched one of a guy with a dirt bike and they filled the tailpipe full of pink powder and he started it and it just went i'm like there you go i was thinking like you get like new or something. Or I don't even know how this would work. But, like, you have to do a burnout. And after a while, like, you'll get to, like, it's underneath the treads a little bit. So you have to do a burnout for quite a while before it gets to, like, the thing and, like, reveals the color or something. That'd be pretty awesome. That's actually just kind of a cool idea.

I have watched one of a guy that was like a boxer or something and he was doing it and he's like sitting there just like in front of everybody and then he finally just like actually hits it and bops him like that was such a waste of fucking time do you think the that boxers do like adds strength to their punches probably what's the point of the or do you think they're like trying to strength to their punches? Probably. What's the point of the... Or do you think they're, like, trying to spit in their opponent's face and blind them so they can get a nice hit? It's like a fucking Dillo off of Ark Survival. I don't know what that means.

It's a game, and then... Well, I know it's a game. I don't know what a Dillo is. A Dillo is... It's like a... I can't remember the actual name of it do these have alcohol in them ah shit jokes on you we filled them full of whiskey sugar high sorry um

i don't know i don't know why they do that. But they do it. And it's weird. Yeah, it's kind of weird. Like, why do tennis players go, Well, I kind of understand that. It's like a grunt. You know, if you're lifting something heavy, you grunt. It does help. I think there's scientific fact that grunting will, like, help. But it's not a grunt.

Every time I lift something really heavy, my grunt is, oh, fuck, there goes my nut. Yep. My intestines are in my ball sack now. Can I tell you,

um, every podcast we do, it just gets, that's why we do it. Shit and penises, boys. Shit and penises. Shit and penises. I. Shit and penises. Shit and penises.

I'm shitting penises. Okay. I took a shit earlier and it was rank. And that's just the end of that sentence. But the other day I was driving home and the other gas station worker, you know which one I'm talking about. Yeah, she was taking a poop. No, I wish. worker you know which one i'm talking about she was taking a poop no i wish um i want to scoop that shit up so fast um she she was

put your war paint on baby she was sitting i'm gonna shit my pants if I laugh any harder. She was sitting at, well, you better clinch up. She was sitting at the bus stop. And I was driving by and I'm like, I'm not Ted Bundy, but. This is, but I can get what he, I see what he was after. Hear me out. I see what he was after hear me out he was doing hear me out real quick this isn't going to be a fucked up joke but you know you hear about what ted bunny did and you're like how could any human being do that and then you are you know and then you're like okay all right i understand it makes a little bit of sense.

Ted Bundy wasn't that bad of a guy. I mean, I get what he was doing. You're crying. I'm not saying I would ever do that. I'm just saying the thought crosses your mind. You flip a bitch, jumps on me, and you're like, how would you like to take a ride with the real Ted Bundty you want to know what's so fucked up about me as i kept driving along i was like changing the radio station to something i think she would like as if she was in the truck with me i'm a horrible person and then you just turned on Hire by Creed and you're like, no, no, no. What's up?

I was like, I was like imagining in my head, like, do you like country? Because I was listening to Country Station. I'm like, eh, maybe not. Then I switched to like 94.5 and it was like some like. It was like some Drake song like. And I'm just like. What do you think about this song? David Cuadro, Punto FMA.

I didn't kidnap anyone. That's what he says um yeah i hear i was picturing screaming coming from the closet i was picturing yeah those aren't squirrels in the other room actually um i was picturing being like oh where do you live i just wanted to help out my favorite gas station attendant that sells me Twix every other day. Watches me gamble. You're just like, yeah, you come here often? She's like, yeah. I work here. I work here, so.

Anyways. Oh, fuck. That was fucking funny shit ted money wasn't that bad of a guy like come on i didn't say that we can all understand where he's coming from i'm saying i get what anyways let's change subjects y didn't shit yourself did you? No Your glasses are hanging on by a thread So what time do you have to leave today?

Whenever Billy gets done I had to go to a little kids birthday party At a swimming pool What? A guy from work I'm not go to a little kid's birthday party at a swimming pool. What? Yeah. Where? A guy from work. I'm not going to show up. All right.

I'm confused. Where at? Are you like, what's the one guy? John Wayne Gacy. Yeah. Yeah. He was doing too. Jake the Bear Clown.

Anyways, yeah, in Gothenburg, that's a swimming pool. That starts at 8. 8 tonight? Mm-hmm. And then tomorrow I'm going with Bailey's dad and side-by-side in a river. Oh. And then tomorrow night... Have you been, since you've gotten engaged, have you been like,

I'm your son now, so we can go and do father-son bonding shit. Especially since you've got two daughters. Now you can treat me like your son now, so we can go and do father-son bonding shit, especially since you've got two daughters. Now you can treat me like your son and start doing some real fun shit. I don't know. Kind of. Not really. No?

Oh, okay. But, yeah, isn't it really going to suck because I have to be at work at midnight on Sunday? What? Yeah, the next three days I've got to work midnight to 830 in the morning. What do you do from midnight to 830? We're painting the streets. Painting the streets? Like lines?

Yeah, like downtown. Like the yellow lines across. Do you get to drive in a truck and go, tss? No. Like a boxer? Tss. Tss. Tss.

Tss. Tss. No, we got little walk-behind carts that we... Oh. Yeah, it's going to suck. Kind of like you're painting an infield. It's going to be all right, because next week I think it's supposed to be hot, and then it's supposed to cool down, but it'll be all right. You're back.

Yeah, I got... I kind of think I might like this the old um craig was like would you be willing to hand water both afternoons but have the mornings off and i was like i'd be down for that because it's not that hard to go in in the afternoon and i don't have to change cups it's just hand water i sometimes i just i just rather work in the morning so well yeah but and i granted i did get up early this morning for the for the ribs but then you can sleep in too yeah i can sleep in you can have a full prostate when you go back to work right because i went to because tonight i'm going over

to my parents with those ribs and now i don't have to worry about going to bed early right i do have to hand water in the afternoon but yeah like who needs it that's not hard anyways you know just let the grass burn out like fuck it that's not hard we're losing some ground on some of those greens but it's all right it's all right i've seen them worse. I've definitely seen them worse. And they've came back from that. So, everything will be alright.

Everything will be alright. Spencer... If it includes me hand watering, I think we'll be alright. Yesterday, I want to know how many hours of overtime I got this week. Spencer was like, well, now I'm at a certain point where I'm not even making anymore. I'm like, what? He's like, if you get a certain amount of overtime, you don't even get it. I'm like, you don't just work for free.

You're going to get paid. It might be taxed higher, but you're going to get that money back in a tax return. There's no such thing as working for free. In like 19... Well, not that kind of work. I can't remember when that was, but probably like 1980s. 1980? Yeah.

No, like 1880. That's a little bit more like it. 1980. I don't think there were slaves in 1980. 1980 was like when the pilgrims were. Is that like a sports team or something? Yeah. Oh.

I want to keep drinking these like it's a can, but at that point I'm just drinking shit tons of pop and i don't want to have another drink we're gonna be playing ncaa just isn't it isn't it funny that like the way people treat beer versus treating soda it's like you had so bad for you had eight beers it's like yeah but then if you're just like holy shit are you gonna polish off that 12 pack of mountain dew it's like no i'm not a fucking psycho i'm not a disgusting pig i've definitely just sat there played video games and i'm just too lazy to get a cup of water out and it's much easier just walk over grab a can of pop just at least at least I can drink it um oh my god so I was at um Hy-Vee and I saw these

Miller extra lights have you heard of those no it's Miller extra light I've been on a Miller light kick it's like it's like 64 calories and it's like 2.4 percent alcohol or is it like Miller 64 yeah yeah and I was like I? Yeah. And I was like. I've heard of them. I was like, how many of these do you think we could delete in a night, boys? I don't know. We should try it. Next time I'm back.

One million? No, just kidding. Ooh. Enough to get our stomach pumped. Next time you're back, we have to try this. Okay. So, the day that we did all the storm cleanup i was getting pretty stressed out at work a little bit angie and i was like i need a beer when i get home

so i stopped at hy-vee this is when i stopped at hy-vee and i picked up a six pack of pbr bottles okay i go and open it and i look at the cap and it says two heart and i'm like what what is that i opened my second one after i drank my first one which was pretty fast and it said 10 heart and i'm like are these like playing cards like 10 of hearts and then i opened another one and it was like three spade and i'm like holy shit this is fucking sick it's like playing cards so you want to try to get a full deck and this is what made me no that that that could happen in one night but this is what it made me think of we play a game called pbr poker you get five guys to each get a six pack so that so that would be 30 beers. So each guy would get five cards.

You just take all 30 bottles. I mean, that's a lot of beer, but you take all 30 bottles. Five guys, though. Yeah. You take all 30 bottles and, like, shuffle them. And then each guy gets five because that's, like, a standard hand. Poker hand is five cards. And you open your caps and you see

what hand you have and then you know how they do like flip over the first three and then flip over the other two that's what the other extra five would be for so then you take your five caps each guy has five caps and then you play poker and you try to raise and check and do all that six guys well because then it'd be five five five five five five well five five guys because it's if it's a six pack five times six is 30 and then the extra bottle from each guy's six pack would go to the middle for the oh yeah pbr poker i'd be down for that dude that is a million dollar idea yeah pbr poker i'm gonna say pbr poker again i came up with a fucking brilliant idea yes that worked here today so our sewer jet we have an excavation tip on it so it's like a pressure washer but we can run like

4 000 psi through it oh like tree roots like this but we can run like 4,000 PSI through it. Ooh. Like, tree roots like this big, you can just fucking... You gotta fucking... My nose is runny. You got a tree root coming out of your nose. Anyways. So, yeah, you can, like... So, we use it to, like, find, like, gas lines and water lines and sewer lines without digging. Because... So, when you have to wait for your locates to come in you know 8-1-1 is what i don't even know what you just

said 8-1-1 a locate it's like a digger's hotline so before you dig anything in your yard technically you're supposed to call 8-1-1 okay and get like a locate to come in because say if you hit a water service or a sewer line or a gas line or electrical you're liable for it unless they come and locate it if they locate it and their locates off and you hit it then it's on them okay i got so anyways so if you have like an emergency like something breaks or like you got to get to it right now we can use our sewer jet and excavation tip to do it because it's not groundbreaking. Okay.

So, like, if we're waiting. Yeah. So, if we're waiting for, like, a locate, you can't even stick a shovel in the ground. And that could probably, I'm guessing, take a while. Yeah. So, unless you do, like, an emergency locate, but an emergency locate, they have, like, three hours to respond to it. Which is half of a work day. Yeah. So, you can, like, have three hours to respond to it which is half of the work day yeah so you can like have three hours but if you have that and you suspect something in the area you can start like

potholing which is what we call potholing you just go down see if you find anything and you can use that because it's not groundbreaking anyways so the other day they were like we just got it back up and running and there was like fucking weeds like this tall i'm like oh my god i just came up with a million idea million dollar idea we make a weed eater or a mower out of water and we just use the water because then you're watering your lawn you're mowing your grass and then if you really wanted to you could put fertilizer in the tank and fertilizer whoa fertilize water and mow all at the same time okay how good of a cut though is it on the grass i don't know how thin of a stream is it well ours goes like it goes like and so it makes

a circle oh you could like you could put like a tip on there that was like flat with wheels and just and it would fucking just whee. Mow your lawn with water. That'd be awesome. That'd be crazy. I also got really chubbed up again the other day. So instead of someone going like, you mowing your lawn? It's like, are you watering your lawn? Are you fertilizing your lawn?

You'd be like, what are you doing? Just like everything. Yeah, at one time. At once. Yeah. Sharks. I want $250,000 and for 2% of my business. Thanks.

You'd be a good salesman. Give me your shark tank pitch and I'll be the shark. I got to think of a name for it. Cam, thanks for joining us today. What do you have for us? My water mower fertilizer. Water mower fertilizer. Yeah.

And how many of these have you sold so far? None. So you have zero. I haven't even built any yet. So you have zero equity in this company. Yeah. And what is your ask? $250,000 for two percent of my business see the funny thing sharks is everybody has to go out and mow weed eat and fertilize and water

all at different times it's three different processes with my invention you can do all three of those things at the exact same time i think you named four things but i'm interested well i skipped the weeding part the first time but well same difference whatever yeah so 250 000 take it or leave it so how what kind of market of individuals do you think you're going to be marketing this to grass people? Preferably see, but sharks, I really need this $250,000 cause I have no money to build the first prototype. So you came to the show.

How did this guy make it through the first test? Why did our producers green light this guy? That would be a good product. I can see all the sharks face right now. They're like, I'm pretty sure if you asked Mark Cuban for $250,000, he'd be like, he'd just like flick it at you and be like,

yeah, I, I have it in my pocket. I'll give it to you just to get the fuck out of here so we can continue the show. Not only the cubes, but what? I'll give it to you just to get the fuck out of here so we can continue the show. Not only the cubes, but... What? I was quoting Step Brothers when he's talking about his Bonita fishing trip. Oh.

He's like, not just the cubes, but Super Chef Bobby Flay. Oh, yeah, because Mark Cuban was there. Yeah. Full circle. Mm-hmm. Just like the mower. What is it? Mower water fertilizer.

Yeah. Mower water fertilizer. Er. You just throw another er at the end. They're like, what was that last er for? Just sound more intelligent. You should call it mist-a-cut. Mist.

M-I-S-T. Mist-a-cut. Mist-a-cut. because other people are missing a cut yeah and it's missed yeah and it cuts maybe i should be your partner in this sure i i was talking about a brilliant idea i had but i don't want to share it again because i'm i feel like i'm it's going to get stolen. Not really. I had the idea for our first merch line. I'll pitch it to you now since you're my co-partner in this. Okay.

It's not a collab. It's just we do a Grass Daddies themed Sam I Am. You know that i don't like green eggs and ham yeah but instead of sam i am it's him i am so instead of i am him it's him i am him and you make it like look dr seuss themed and it's grass daddies now first merch line did i tell you trace texted me and was like how much is a grass study shirt and i'm like well they're not they're not really a thing bailey just kind of jokingly made that for cam and he's like oh damn well we can make one he's like when you get them let me know because i'll buy one so i was like okay we one. $30. That's how much it costs to make it? I don't know how much it costs to make it.

But this is fucking wholesale products. This is like Nike, man. Hey. For 2% of my company, I will give you a probably copyright infringed Dr. Seuss Him I Am shirt. And then I was at work i was like cooking up ideas in my head like how we can make it like grass studies like beer themed or whatnot like i like to drink it in a bar i like to drink it in a car and when i drink too many i go go too far. There you go.

I like to drink it on a flight. I like to drink it when I fight. I like to drink it on a course. I like to drink it on a horse. Well, I was trying to think of something how I could throw in my horse. When I drink it, I shoot par. Okay. Like on a golf course, you know hear us out hear us out this is gonna be good you're gonna put your kids on the shit and then and then i was like what if we just what if we just made it completely about drinking and driving like i like to drink it by the levee i like to drink it in my chevy

i like to drink it in my garage i like to drink it in my Chevy. I like to drink it in my garage. I like to drink it in my Dodge. I actually know a guy. I just found out this. A guy that I work with used to live in South Dakota. He worked in Deadwood. South Dakota. You know what

Deadwood, South Dakota is? Like a big party town. South Dakota. Like cas big party town South Dakota Like casinos And shit I don't think so Anyways Used to be a bar Maybe I've heard of it I don't know

There And there was a guy That got a DUI on his horse Is that possible Is that a motorized vehicle I guess A game of DUI Wait you could get a DUI

On a bike Couldn't you So what What What How The guy rode his horse to the bar I guess and then he stayed till closing time and then he got on his horse and started riding home and the officer pulled him over which so I would honestly I would have just kept going I just like fucking horse don't want to pull over, man. So if you're on anything other than just your feet, well, I guess then they could give you public intoxication.

This world is fucking us. We can't do anything while we're drunk. What if you crawl? I don't know. It would be really slow getting around. Yeah. And your stomach might hurt and your elbows would really hurt. I like to drink it by the door.

I like to drink it on the floor. Yeah. I like to... What was the other one I had? I like to drink it on a table. I like to drink it hanging from a cable. No. No, that's too dark. I like to drink it with a whore.

And when I do, I take a snore. We're using really bad words. It was something with Ford. I can't remember, though. But then I was like, we definitely can't use Ford, Chevy,vy dodge we can't use those names and profit from them so furda furda yeah we just called off a call for the furda furda boys um him i am furda that'd be that'd be sweet i feel like we could get some people on that yeah definitely and then we got to do books, like write actual books. Well, so then maybe just merge.

So then all these degenerates could just put their kids on this. They're like, oh, you heard about Dr. Seuss at school. Have you heard of the Grass Daddy's podcast? Yeah. Bet you've never read him. I am him. I am. Am I him?

I might be him. But uh. Oh shit. What? I forgot to keep it awake. I think you're still recording. If not I'm going to be really pissed. Yeah that would I like to I like to I like to make money get burnt so Cam's back in town today it's not working nothing's working

what do you mean I tried capital well how'd you get it before do you mean? I tried Capital. Well, how'd you get it before? Do you want me to just say Spencer's password live on the... No? Okay. I was missing a G. A Z.

Are we going to... Are we going to get food after this? Probably. I'd be down for that. I still got another hour with the ribs wrapped, and then I got to unwrap them and go another hour. It's 10 o'clock. Wait, but we have to run to UPS?

Yeah. Bah. Bah. Boop-ay-boop. Bah-da-ba-boop. Wait, so you have what we have to take with us now? It's in Bailey's car. It's a huh?

It's in Bailey's car. Oh, okay huh? It's Ambelio's car. Oh, okay. I thought you said something about a scarf. She got a dress for her friend's rehearsal dinner, and it's like traffic cone orange. It's pretty awesome. Oh. She was dressed in that high-vis,

and I was like... You're like, I definitely... I wasn't going to shoot you before, but I'm definitely not going to shoot you now. Because I can see you. That was a high-vis hunting joke. Yeah, I got it.

I should have gotten more laughter. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't know where you were going with that. I'm like, are you still on the Ted Bundy thing? I can hear you. I can't decide if I want another root beer or not. Probably not. Probably shouldn't.

Well, we've got to get something with our food, right? Yeah, that's a good point. Where are we going to get food? Do you actually want to get a breakfast burrito? Sure. I'd be down for that. Should we go to Daily Owns? Yeah, they sell beer there.

I'd be down for that. It is 10 a.m. I'd be down for that. They also have slot machines. And I also don't have to do anything today besides go to a little kid's birthday party, which I probably should show up just absolutely fucking hammered for. Should I get a little buzz before I go to work? Yeah.

Of course. You got a hand water, dude. Trust. Trust the process. Fuck, I was going gonna say something on this and then i forgot imagine that oh yeah i remember what i was gonna say summer olympics are summer olympics there was new oh yeah what were some of the games um so they got rid of the balloon pop are are the all the games still, sexual and phallic? No.

No? This year it wasn't. Besides Dirty Dicks and Pop Your Partner's Cherry and Thread the Needle. They did something different. It wasn't Dirty Dicks. It was Beanie Weenies. Okay. And they took a big tub of baked beans and they took little smokies and put it in there and you had a bob for a little smokies and baked beans how many baked beans did they get it was like kidney pools no it was just like in like a pan oh okay and they had to dig for beanie

like little little smokies for who there was 14 little smokies in there and you could only use your you could only use your mouth okay Okay. So they were just in there. Did you? No. You didn't? The old beak would probably get a few beans in it. Yeah, of course. I would have just, that's what I was going to say.

I would just start all the beans. Right. God damn it. Why is my nose running so much? I don't know. Because you're crying laughing because you're having so much fun. That one, and then they did one where they saran wrapped four people together all back to back, and you have to work together to fill your cup up.

I think Ted Bunny did that too. I think you're thinking of the human centipede. Well, that was head to butt. They had to get it from someone. So you had to work together to dip your cup in a bucket of water and run down and fill a tubware dish full of water. Oh, yeah. All four of you. So you all had to work together because like dip your cup in a bucket of water and run down and fill a tubware dish full of water. Oh, yeah. And all four of you.

So you all had to work together because you have two people walking sideways, one person walking backwards, and one person walking forwards. Oh, okay. And that one was a new one. They still did the plunger poke. Yeah. And then we did the balloon caterpillar. Yeah. Balloon conga.

I kicked ass in. Did you do the Cotton Eye Joe. Balloon in the conga. I kicked ass in... Did you do the Cotton Eye Joe? Yep. You did? Yep. You had enough cans without me? Yeah. I did the...

I kicked ass in the beer pong this year. Oh, the giant beer pong? Yeah. You did that again? Yep. Kobe! Then we did the slip and slide. Oh, yeah. a flip cup?

Mm-hmm. That was pretty fun. This year was really fun. I hauled ass. And what? And then we did, after that, me and these two other guys, we did a challenge. We went down the slipping slide with a beer, and we had to see who finished the most by the end of the slipping slide. Oh, like did you slide like baseball slide or like on your ass kind of?

Yeah, I pretty much baseball slid, and baseball and i just was a can or a bottle i had the miller light aluminum bottle cans oh yeah a bottle can yeah because i really thought about just shotgunning it and then two percent of my company you can invest in the bottle can the bottle it's glass and metal and then so then the there was one girl she's like all right we gotta see somebody like slide down and shotgun a beer at the end so bailey did it now i'm really missing out we got down to the end and somebody stood there with her cans and like we raced well i grabbed my can well my hands were all fucking soapy and i had to do the twist off and it was a brand new deal so i had to twist it and like yeah shotgun was the twist off it's kind of yeah and so i couldn't get my fucking bottom my can open because my hands are

so soapy and then when i tipped it back like this soap started going in my eyes what the fuck yeah it was i don't know why i decided to slide headfirst that one, but I did, so... It was pretty fun. There's probably a few people I'd like to see slide headfirst, get soapy, but I... What?

Not there, just in general. Yeah. The pregnant one. Just watch her just lay down. I can't do it on my stomach because I have a baby in me. Watch her land on her stomach and the baby just go. Like a fucking whoopee cushion. And it propels her faster because it's like a rocket oh i've definitely guys were ever wondering like these guys get drunk and say the weirdest

shit we are both stone cold sober right now yeah and we're having like a little bit of sleep deprivation a little bit of sleep a little hint of proj never hurts anything a little bit of sleep deprivation. A little bit of sleep. A little hint of prodge never hurts anything. A little bit of sleep deprivation never hurts. I tell you what, Joe Rogan, she had a monkey on her. I wasn't even spotless. I fucking. Oh, fuck. Ever since I sent you that one video of Joey Diaz on Spider-Man.

Yeah. The real legend. Or i can't remember what they said but oh my god i get so much fucking joey diaz on my instagram reels yeah and i'm just like i should send this to jake nah he's probably seen it by now it's funny how the algorithms work like i remember a year ago work you're just like i just get porn it's like well that's because whenever it comes up facebook you stare at it. Facebook is back. Oh, the For You page on Facebook? Yeah, the listening page.

Breastfeeding videos again? Oh, yeah. Big time? Oh, yeah. I saw one of those on Instagram. What? Oh, yeah, they're all over Instagram now. Is it because it's like, it's not nudity.

It's like for the well-being of another human see and then i was like trying to scroll through facebook and so then i started like blocking all those weird ass ones because i really don't like by blocking you mean saving yeah i don't like watching breastfeeding videos and then after i got to that then it just started videos of girls getting c-sections i'm like what the fuck all right i, I'm done. That's gore. Yeah, and then I got on fucking Instagram, and then it was just breastfeeding videos. I'm like, I can't go anywhere. And then it was a video of a squirrel breastfeeding while it was getting a C-section.

Yeah, it was weird, dude. The algorithm can suck a wanker. Like the squirrel yeah okay um that was supposed to be a callback joke but didn't really work um what time were we at we can do well are we at an hour pert near pert near half past the monkey that's quarter tails balls um i don't know the next time cam will be on maybe the 24th of this maybe the 24th i one of these weekends where i'm not doing anything where i can if i work like a saturday i'd like to come hang out with you and if that was the case i could definitely bring two laptops and the mics and we could record there yeah and if not so by that point i would hope i'm hoping to have my mic

oh yeah cam is probably going to buy one of these and um we might start doing some like facetime yeah like we'll facetime each other but we'll record with our phones it'll all get together yeah but that'll just be for us to see each other but we'll record with our phones so it's better quality so it'll be a little bit edited and stitched together but it should sound the same yeah and and we got to figure out a better way to send it to each other because even when we were doing that here it still sucked uh link yeah we need to try google even even 50 episodes in we are still figuring it out uh it's ah it sucks a little bit that you're one off the last episode we did was the 50th episode so we could have done something special but i guess we'll just have to

wait till 100 now yeah we've been doing this for over a year really it's been over it's been it was like a couple few days ago it was at our first episode that we ended up doing it like 10 30 at night yeah because we're like dude let's just record an episode tonight not knowing how anything worked we're like let's just do it that's what i keep telling people that are like i want to start a podcast with my friend i'm like do it the hardest part is just deciding to do it one day you just have to sit down and be like we're gonna do it yeah you just gotta press record and start yeah and you'll find your way we literally talked about it at work one day and then we just came sat down and everything well we would always be working and having this type of conversation and being like this is so funny we should have a podcast and it's like yeah we totally should

record ourselves because we're so funny we're the funniest people we know and everyone would love us and we're the best comedians and then everybody that listens are like you guys are special and then yeah one day we were just like, let's just fucking do it. You were like, let's start a podcast. And I was like, we will. And you're like, you keep saying that, but we never do. Finally, we did. And here we are, 51 episodes later.

Cam, thank you for driving three hours just to record with me so you can turn around and go home um also it's gonna be really hard guys because we're starting to get into the numbers where i can't count any higher than that so if if it goes back to like episode one it's just it's just a new season yeah season should we start season two i don't even know how how that would work. 51 should be Season 2. There's 50 episodes per season. Okay. I don't know what I would use to mark that. Season 2, Episode 1.

Now I have to write Season 2 before everything? Or just do an S2. Maybe I'll change it. Maybe I'll do a little bit something different. Like, instead of Grass Daddy's Podcast, it'll just be, like, Episode... But I'm not going to do episode one of season two it's going to be episode 51

yeah you don't have to do that I was just saying I was just being smart episode 51 season two episode 51 I don't know we'll see we'll workshop it but thank you guys for watching I kind of want to get out of here before that makes its way over to me.

Thank you guys for watching and listening. Spotify and Apple Podcasts. Don't end that yet because I need to clap. Spotify and Apple Podcasts for audio only. Like and subscribe on YouTube. Cam, thanks for being here. Until next time, when it comes to Ted Bundy all I have to say is don't let the intrusive thoughts win good point