Grass Daddies Podcast - Grass Daddies Podcast Episode 6: Dehydrated

Episode Date: August 28, 2023

In this episode of the Grass Daddies Podcast the boys cool off from the intense hot weather of the past week by talking about some of the coldest moments that they have ever experienced. Things got a bit wayward when they finished a case of whiteclaws and Jake told a crazy story about his neighbor who thought him and his former roommates were burning people in their fire pit! Follow us on Social Media! Youtube: grassdaddiespodcast Instagram: @grassdaddiespodcast @kamdenwellmann @jakekillham Tik Tok: @kandenwellmann (yes thats how it's spelled) @jakekillham11

they believe that you go through stages wait scratch all that i just said it's one of my favorite podcasts welcome to the i like to Hear Myself Talk Podcast. That's Cam, I'm Jake, and we are... The Grass Daddies. Thirsty. Thirsty is what we are. Yeah. Very thirsty. We're currently broadcasting from Satan's Gooch. And he's wearing wool underwear. underwear we have just gone through four plus well four days in a row of 100 degree highs

with humidity and i've been reaching like 115 feels like fucking temperature it has been atrociously hot so the beer menu tonight are these little... White Claw Refresher. What? I thought you were going to call them a White Claw Remenade. White Claw Remenade. That's kind of racist. But we just had Chinese food, so I don't know. But I'm thirsty.

What? Let's see. Let's try the Blood Orange. We got Blood Orange. Okay, that was the first one. I want a pop a blood orange. Blood orange, blackberry, strawberry, and limon. White Claw, come on.

We've been waiting. We already got turned down from Bush Light, so now we need you guys to step up, sponsor us. Oh, this is going to be so good. White Claw Lemonade Refresher. Give it a smell test. All right, Gabe. Oh, that's fire. They're all lemonade. They're like lemonade, lemonade, lemonade, blackberry, lemonade, strawberry, lemonade, whatever.

So get your shit right i'm sorry i was looking at your shirt while we were getting our food are there grass stains on there what is that shit that's on your shirt the yellow yeah what is that is that part of it yeah so we got some food as we always do before we started this podcast and we were all so hangry i thought someone was gonna die dude when i was taking our friend back because side story we have a friend who doesn't have a vehicle and has to ride a bike home when it's 117 degrees outside his truck is in the shop and he's been biking to and from work from not close to where we were something like that he said it takes him like an hour and a half it's like a 10 mile bike ride one direction and i ain't talking

about harry stop um so I was taking him home today. And I'm like, you know, I kind of wanted to get things going a little bit. So that we're not here all night. Even though it's only, not even seven. But, so I messaged our group chat. I was like, dinner? And then, of course, I get the same. I don't care. From one woman.

And another, I don't care. So say chinese nobody says anything and that's why i was finally like yeah i'm down so i was like yay or nay because a little time went by i was picking these up no one said anything and i got a yay from bailey and I got a sure from Lena. Now, most people, when they see sure, they're like, that means she's also okay with it. But when I saw sure, what I read in my mind was, fuck you. I don't want that shit. Get that shit out of here. But I came home and she was like, no, that's fine. So she curved my beliefs and we got chinese food

and it was delicious okay this is gonna be a perfect topic for how blistering fucking hot it is okay what is your house temperature usually set at so it's normally at like 75 well it's like here's the deal i don't know what's going on with our thermostat because it's at like 75 during the day but when i get home or like at a certain time it changes to 72 and then about the time we go to bed, it switches to 69. Now, we don't have a smart thermostat. But when Corbin lived here, he took the old one off and put his on. And it was like a smart thermostat that he could adjust it and probably set shit on his phone. Which he would have had to wire it in so i don't know if like somehow it just like transferred the

program to the old one because whenever he left he put the old one back on and now it like moves up and down on its own and it's like an old thermometer or old thermostat so i don't know why it does that but i'll get home from work and it'll be out like 75 and I'll change it back down to 72. You guys are fucking crazy. It doesn't stay. It's not that. It's not that hot. 75 is way too hot.

But it's when we're not even here, which is fine. Ours is at like 68 all day. When I went to, um, when I was at Mid midland the men's dorm did not have air conditioning think this is about the time of year people are starting going to school my air conditioning was just my fan blowing on my feet at night that was my air conditioning i couldn't sleep i wouldn't be able to sleep. And then eventually we moved into these on-campus kind of apartment-style things the next year. And people were idiots, and they were turning their thermostat down so far that it was just freezing the air conditioning. Because you know you can't just turn it like down to 50 because then it'll work too

hard and then it'll freeze because it'll get so cold and then it'll have the opposite effect because it won't be working and then it'll get hot and it'll be like people to keep trying to set it lower and lower because it's like it's starting to get hot in here and their air conditioning will freeze see year round i keep our apartment whether it's winter time it's hot enough for me to walk around in my skibbiesies and be comfortable in my skivvies. And in the summertime, it's cold enough for me to be able to walk around and be comfortable in my skivvies. So that's, like, your thermometer is your penis. You just stick it out in the air.

And if it's warm enough to be out, then you're good. And if it's cold enough to be out, you're good. Yeah. I like just to start shriveling just a little bit. When it starts to shrivel up a little bit, that's when you know you're there. And you've got to dial it back a couple notches. No, that's when I just pull up my undies and I'm perfect. Oh, okay.

Because that little thin layer of underwear is what helps set it. Yeah, yeah. Sets it right. Okay, so. And then when I get really comfortable comfortable when it's like the perfect temperature i know because i get rocks all in i just turn hard as a rock i just turned to stone like medusa was looking at me uh i was walking down the hall and saw medusa and just turned down. What is that all about? Medusa? Oh, I didn't know if that was like a quote or something.

No, I'm just funny. Oh. So I got to tell you about what I said the other day. Oh, yeah. I've been waiting. Oh, wait. I said his name. I'm not going to say his last name.

I doubt he waiting. Oh, wait. I said his name. I'm not going to say his last name. I doubt he cares. Okay. So we have a coworker who cleans the bathrooms for us because we have bathrooms on our golf course. And he goes around and gets the trash and cleans out the bathrooms. And it was like right before lunch. I was kind of sitting in the office. It was right about when he leaves, which is around like 10 o'clock we take lunch at 11 I think I was waiting to hear where I needed to spray out the rest of what was in my tank um and he just comes walking in the office

and he goes I wasn't really listening something something all my dishes are broken and I'm like like i wasn't really paying attention i was kind of on my phone and then he goes i put him in my washing machine and i go what i kind of snapped to attention i'm like what and he's like yeah all my i put all my dishes in the washing machine they're all broken i'm like you what he's like i don't remember doing it he's got a certain dimension i was gonna say he has a certain condition that makes him not remember things very well he has dementia literally we're not being so so he accidentally put his dishes in the washing machine

they all broke and then he proceeded to go did you take a shit in the jam bathroom i was like no he's like well then it must have been your buddy. Referring to you because you like to do that. I don't shit out there. Not in the summertime. Summertime is a no-go for the bathrooms because they don't have air conditioner. And I'm not about ready to sit there and just be fucking just while I'm trying to do this shit. Have you ever been like sitting on the toilet when it's really hot in there and your ass cheeks are wet and you're just sliding around in the toilet seat?

God, it's the worst thing ever. So anyways, he goes, well, it must have been your buddy then. And then he goes, I stuck my finger down in there and put my finger. He's like, I put my finger in the shit and pulled it out and it's still smooth. I knew it was still fresh. But I'm just looking at him. He goes, smell my finger, does it still stink? And I'm like, what the

fuck? And then he goes, I'm just fucking with you, man. I'm just like, see you later. And he's like, yeah, I gotta go to the dollar store and get more dishes. So I'm like, bye. Have a good day. Okay, well.

Anyways. He's told me a plethora of stories. And he's like. Maybe since we said his name, maybe we shouldn't. We're going to bleep it at the end. We're going to bleep his name? Yeah. I'm going to bleep his name since I edited this episode?

Okay. I think that's right. Which I doubt he would care, but either way. Fuck. My name dropped again. Okay. But he was telling me one time, he's like, so every morning he comes to work, he makes this like, it's like a workout drink to help boost your metabolism, like speed his metabolism up or something like that.

Yeah. And he's like, yeah, usually every morning I make my drink. And he's like, one morning I like snapped out of it and I was pouring cleaner. I was pouring cleaner in my cup. And he's like, what the fuck? Just dumped it out. And and he goes then i made my drink i was like well did you at least clean your cup out he's like i don't remember i'm like well that's great he's like i think i got my wires crossed because the the nutrition thing said

something about cleaning out your system so i saw the word, so I thought it was good. Well, so when he was telling me this, it was like early, early winter, you know, maybe late, late fall. And this guy will show up with a sweatshirt on, no gloves, tennis shoes, and it's like butt-ass cold. Like it's freezing-ass cold out. And I'm always like, dude, do you need some gloves? Like, I got an extra pair of gloves if you want to wear them. He's like, no, I'll be fine. I got my drink. It warms me up inside.

I'm like, well, probably. It's probably fucking cleaner. Because you're drinking gasoline. But he's a good shit. Yeah, my extremities start feeling all tingly because you're drinking harmful chemicals that aren't meant to be consumed almost said his name again but i didn't oh man like so whenever he's cleaning the bathrooms on the golf course, one day, his biggest thing is nobody goes in there after he cleans them, which people are going to go in there no matter what after you clean them.

But when he's in the process of mopping the floor and Cam goes running in going, I got a shit. Not really the nicest thing. Well, I think this whole thing started because one day I literally took a shit on four. He just started cruising down. He just parked his cart. I was mowing the green and he walks out there and he goes, Did you just take a fucking shit? It pisses him off.

Dude, but that one was so bad. It wasn't as bad as my slow cooking, but it was bad. There was one time where someone had egregious diarrhea all over the toilet and stall. And then whenever he got to it, he called our boss and was just like, I'm not cleaning this. And so he drew the short stick, Cam, and he put on one of my spray suits. So he looked like a hazmat suit. Oh, and I wore a respirator, too. And he went in there to clean it.

And then I got out there to help him. And I asked our bathroom guy. And he's like, I just can't do shit. He's like, I didn't sign up for this. I was like, aren't you a janitor? He's like, yeah, but just can't do shit. He's like, I didn't sign up for this. I was like, aren't you a janitor? He's like, yeah, but I can't do shit. He's told me other stories about his old work, but I don't know if I should share those.

Yeah, no, we don't need to talk about him this whole time. One thing I wanted to talk about, in the spirit of how hot it's been i wanted us to share some stories about the coldest we've ever been because i just don't want to think about the heat anymore i just want to just take me to an arctic paradise i can take you fucking somewhere take me somewhere right now. Take me somewhere cold. I just need. We work year round. We cut trees in the winter and we move snow because we have a restaurant with our golf course.

And so it was a day. It was a day where it was, we had like a super, it was like an Arctic. I can't remember what they called it, but remember when that came through and it was like freezing ass cold, like freezing at like negative forties, like wind chill. Maybe,

but we had that come through. And I use a ventrac, which is just like you stand on it. Yeah. It's got a plastic sheet around your upper body torso. Yeah. And it's not, it gets cold. Cause then you're blowing snow and the snow is blowing back on you into the wind.

It gets cold. And so we went back to the shop. It's the coldest job because you're standing still and outside. Yeah. There's other people that are like snow blowing, but they're walking. So they're like exerting some energy. But since you're on like a stand on machine,

you're outside, but you're standing in place, not moving yeah and so we also have sidewalks that go all pretty much all the way like half of our golf course it goes just around the perimeter of the entire facility which i've done the math. It's two something miles. If you stretch it out. Oh my god. Yeah, because one day I weedied the whole.

I edged. Weedy edged the whole entire curb line. But. So, we got that going on. We finished up. I finished up all my cleaning. Like, I do a little bit of cleaning at the loading dock. And sidewalks up the clubhouse.

And that stuff. We got done. We went back to the shop. Tore them up. And I'm like, there's no way you guys are making me do sidewalks up the clubhouse. And that stuff, we got done. We went back to the shop to warm up. And I'm like, there's no way you guys are making me do sidewalks. And they made me do sidewalks, which we have. Our entrance road is like windy. And I start on one side, and I work all the way down the entrance road. And then I go all the way down to another entrance and it the one trip is especially long what sucks is with that one trip there's it's not like you know you work one direction and then work your way back.

You work your way one direction and then you just got to drive your ass all the way back. And we have two busy streets that run right by our golf course. So it's not like somebody can park on the side of the road and warm up. Yeah, you have no relief. There's no place for you to warm up. Yeah, and it was my gloves ended up getting wet because I got snow blown on them. And then my heat warmed them up. So my gloves were wet.

And this was the same time that I seen it on Instagram. Nebraska was just as cold as Antarctica. Oh, my Lord. Or Alaska. instagram nebraska was just as cold as antarctica oh my lord or something like or alaska alaska the temperature in alaska was the same as it was in nebraska and so i got to the other end and like halfway through it my legs went numb and my hands went numb and i was like i think i kind of remember this well and then a guy at work went to the entrance and picked me up in his car so i could warm up it was so cold i warm up your piggies it was so cold i shut this piece of equipment off and it wouldn't start again

because it was so oh my lord do you remember what the wind chill was? It was like negative 40. I think it was. Negative 41 or something like that. That's ridiculous. And so I was like, I went and got warmed up. And I'm like, the more warm I get, the colder it's going to feel out there. So I was like, I just bucked up. And I'm like, I'm going to do from this entrance. And I'm going to drive all the way back and do Yankee from our entrance road all the way down Yankee. And I fucking got to the end of Yankee

and I was like, this is fucking stupid. I don't want to go back. Don't make me go. I wanted to leave the fucking Vintrac out there. Y'all can come get it. I ain't going back. Well, it was stupid. Like, we had like

fucking advisories. Like, it was stupid like we had like fucking advisories like it was literally dangerous to be outside yeah and they were just like yeah well fuck it we got to get them sidewalks clean because you know people are gonna be walking their dogs we got to get them walks cleaned off of those people walking on the fucking arctic circle So the worst part about this whole thing was I got to the end freezing ass cold. I seen the car in sight and I was like, Oh, I'm so cold.

My legs didn't want to work. So I just fucking got them working. Cause I'm just standing still free. Like with your legs almost locked. Yeah. And your legs aren't moving. Your joints aren't moving. So I jumped off and I was running across the street to get in the car and fucking just slipped and ate it but my hands were

so fucking cold like like they like hurt to like put pressure on like get up and i was like so i got in the car warmed up and then took it back to the shop and i was like that was fucking stupid and you may be wondering jake where were you during all this while i was got in the car and warmed up and then took it back to the shop. And I was like, that was fucking stupid. And you may be wondering, Jake, where were you during all this? Well, I was sitting in a tractor. With a heat. Well, it's a pretty drafty tractor. And really the only thing that gets cold on me is my left foot.

Because there's like a hole in the floor next to my foot. And I'm also sitting still still but there is a heater and after a while and if the sun comes out it kind of gets warm in there but like my left foot like the left three toes on the side of my foot no i'm just kidding my whole foot would just get really cold that's about it my really cold stories are more sports related i had um there was one game where it was like early spring so it was still kind of wintry i think it was might have been sleeting a little bit um but it was really windy and i was in the outfield, and all I had on was just my baseball uniform and just, like, long, tight sleeves, like an Under Armour undershirt. That was it. And I'm wearing a baseball hat, nothing on my ears.

And I was standing in the outfield facing in, and the wind was blowing right into my face. And it's like, I have to just stand there and take it because i gotta be ready in case the ball comes to me and someone just hits a fucking line right here it cracks my hand just goes and just shatters like a pane of glass like a spongebob just implodes like the ocean geese like a spongebob cartoon joke or something um it was so cold and it was just pelting me straight in my face that between pitches i would flip around and then just go like this so that the wind was hitting me in my back and then when the pitch was about to go i'd turn around again and like get in my ready position in case you know be ready for the play yeah and i

would just do that over and over between plays because it was so brutal. Can you imagine getting fucking jammed? Oh, I would hurt. I think probably the coldest I've ever been, though, was my freshman year. At the end of football season, we made it to districts. We were playing up in Pierce. So this is now late fall because it's at the end of the football season. And, again, it was, like, snowing. It was freezing cold.

It was windy. And I'm a freshman, so I'm not playing. All I'm doing is standing in place on the sideline. Like, at least in baseball, like, between innings, I could run into the dugout. You know, I could, like, throw a jacket on or something or, you know, be out of the wind or anything. But you know how long a football game is. I'm just standing there in one spot for the entire time not moving. Again, with just, like, a tight shirt on underneath all my pads.

And, like, I see the other team on the other sideline. They had those, like, big overcoats that go over their like whole uniform we didn't have that so we were all huddled together like penguins on the sideline like all the people that weren't playing we were all smushed together and like when you would move on the sideline everyone just kind of shuffled together as a group like we literally were like a group of penguins because it was so cold fuck that our placeholder like who was like a grade above me but also didn't play but he like was the placeholder for um for kicks he like went on for like a for a pat and he like and right after the play was over, he just like sprinted to the sideline to try to get some body heat going.

It was brutal. Well, since we're on this topic, well, so, when we, I've told you guys about my house that we used to have out in the country. Well,

we always had this, my dad works for, he like cleans the roads and stuff i'm not gonna disclose where my father works on this even though we have two listeners but shouts out to gavin and spencer every episode we're gonna shout him out but uh i was gonna do that off the top i was gonna go real quick shouts out to gavin and spencer you know just keep being you viewing hours come hours. Come on, boys. I know you guys have only listened to this one

once. Let's go. We've got to get up our viewing hours. I need you guys listening once a day. Put it on repeat. When we would not be able to go to school or do anything like that, my dad would be pushing snow. With a maintainer? We had this stupid game. So we had a

dumpster on the second entrance. It was, you know, entrance, tree line, entrance. And so our game was we'd run barefooted all the way out to the dumpster. Well, previously, I just pissed my sister off. And I was like, you want to play this snow game? You called it the snow game? I don't know what we called it. Want to play frostbite and so she's like yeah you go first and i ran all the way out there in my underwear and nothing on and this bitch locks the door behind me oh no i was so fucking cold

and i like banged on the door banged on the door banged on the door, banged on the door, banged on the door. She didn't fucking answer. She wouldn't open it. So I went. We had a great Pyrenees mountain dog. Sheep herding dog at the time. And she had this like big dog house. Because she was mostly always outside.

And so I went and went into her dog house and was just hanging out in there with her oh it was so cold and then luckily my dad didn't take his can of soup he forgot his can of soup this day and came home and he's like what the fuck are you doing out here didn't take his his candles. It's gold. And, yeah, I went in there. Dude, I miss snow days. I got to fucking. That was the best. Do you have another story?

One more quick sports one. Yeah, go ahead. See, in high school, I didn't play football, basketball, besides, like, my freshman year. But I did play golf. And golf, I get get it you're walking but like you got to use a lot of your digits that you don't want to use when they're cold your fingers so fingers toes Fingers, toes. But we had... We played in this one tournament. It was in Kearney.

And the day before, it just snowed. Like, out of nowhere. And this is springtime. I think. It was snowing in the spring? Like, early, early spring. Okay. Like February?

I can't remember when guys... No, girls are in the spring, I think. I don't know. Was it like February, March? Anyways. Anyways, there was snow on the grounds. On the ground. And we literally couldn't even play out of some of the bunkers because how did you find your ball bunkers were still full of snow if you've seen them get it hidden there at least you could see your fucking ball mark and we would did you use like a neon ball so you could find your ball well like no like some of the snow

melted off the ground oh because that day that it snowed, it snowed quite a bit, but it heated up enough to melt the snow. But the next day was fucking cold. I was, we showed up, I was on the driving range, and I was hitting balls, and every fucking shot I hit just, like you get jammed in baseball. Like it stung your hands? Yeah. And I was like, this is fucking terrible. fucking shot a hit just like you get jammed in baseball like it stung your hands yeah and i was like this is fucking terrible game-changing innovation never thought about it until the week prior when it was freezing ass cold at practice and i went and bought a fireball oh

i went and bought a quarterback like hand warmer that goes around your waist. And so I bought one of those because I had my bag over my back so I can just hook my arms around my straps and just keep them in the hand warmer. Because I don't like wearing bulky ass gloves. Some kids will wear like they have like legit winter gloves that they'll just take off and on and off and on and off and on. And so I just got this and I would just flip it backwards but that day it was so fucking cold and i was just wearing khaki pants and my golf polo and i think i had like an under you have like a jacket on yeah and i think at one point i ended up putting on like an actual legit winter coat and started playing in an actual legit winter coat and even though like restricted the shit out of my swing but i didn't give a fuck it was so cold yeah yeah that was my oh i was just gonna say i really miss snow days because like

i don't know about you but i was a fort builder i love building snow forts oh did you build snow forts oh yeah man i had some pretty legit snow forts i built them like with my neighbors and my neighborhood friends i would i would always like um like try to add stuff to it like put like a like i think i had one like i think i had like, a turtle sandbox. Did you have one of those? Uh, yeah. I think I would, like, take the, the shell of it and use that as the door. Like, I always liked incorporating, like, you knock out a sidewall and put sticks and you make a little window.

You take little snacks in there. Dude, I miss the, the instant relief that came when you're waking up for school and your mom goes snow day it's like oh i can just stay sleeping and i don't have to get up i'm on the strawberry one now me too um so you may be wondering guys i wanted to see what that mouth do i wanted to see the measurement well we had a little technical difficulties getting the video version from the last episode but we're working on it by we're working on it i mean we're going to try again after this after this episode to get it onto my laptop so we can get it up. Now that nobody's probably interested anymore.

But, if you want to go back and watch some backwash some beer into some glasses to see how big our mouths are, I'm going to try to get it up so we can see that. Yeah, I don't know what the fuck's going on. We're letting you guys down.

We're letting them down for show but dude i'm excited for this weekend oh yeah it's gonna be a movie well as you like you guys are seeing this jake will be 26 and two days 26 years young baby that means man next year is gonna be my golden birthday is it yeah which is fucking lame my sister's golden birthday was the 16 so her sweet 16 was also her golden birthday which is bullshit what the fuck mom why'd you have to squeeze her out right then yeah come on mom so my grandpa was born on july 17th and my sister was born on july 16th and my grandpa said i'll give you a hundred bucks if you give birth on my birthday so he could have like a grandkid born on the same day as him.

Um, and it was the day before. And I think he, I think he still gave her a hundred or he gave her like, I think he still gave her a hundred. He's like close enough. But I think my other cousin is on the 17th. But. Either way. Don't write that down. Don't hold me to that. Do you know how you were conceived? I just.

I just spilled it myself. But he's got a hole in his mouth. You just reminded me. Of a. Hilarious story. That I still don't believe. But. I kind of have to believe it because every adult in my life says it's true when i was a little kid i guess i used to sleepwalk

oh shit oh i gotta tell some that i gotta tell some of the things i've said to lean on my sleep oh yeah that'd be funny um so i guess i used to sleepwalk terrible and scare the shit out of my parents. Like I wouldn't sleepwalk in the house. Like I would sleepwalk and walk out the door. Because we lived in the country. We didn't lock our doors. Nothing. You would just walk outside?

Yeah. Did they think maybe we should start locking the doors? Or do you think you'd unlock them in your sleep? I probably would unlock them in my sleep um so i guess one time you were talking about your turtle box sandbox they were scared shitless because they couldn't find me anywhere my usual locations of sleeping well where were your usual locations uh i'll tell them okay okay so um sorry I'm getting ahead of you and he

just happened to lift up my turtle box shell and I was just laying in my sandbox I like slid under the lid and just slept in my fucking turtle sandbox what time of year was it was it in the summer yeah so you were.

And I had a pretty sick tree fort. Like playground, tree house, whatever. I used to sleepwalk into that. That's some hereditary shit. That's kind of creepy. My parents found me asleep on the trampoline one time it's never good going my parents found me yeah and uh so they used to have my great grandma's gliding rocking chair i don't know if you know what that is but you know like a regular rocking chair rocks back like backwards

and forwards. Yeah. Well, this one's got like joints on it. So like, I know what you're talking about. Okay. They had that in the corner of their room and they had like,

there are two dressers with that and like the middle of it. And I somehow got over the top of that and it was slipping me behind it. And nobody could find me. I didn't see champion. And I slept behind the TV one time. My favorite story of all time is, we were watching a movie, my dad and brother,

and we're out in their living room, and i just got up and i was still sleeping and i was my brother so you fell asleep watching the movie and then got up yeah and my brother's like what the fuck are you doing i was like i gotta pee no and i walked over to our living room not to our living room our kitchen well we had a decent sized family we had three kids all in you know like younger ages my two parents dogs so we didn't have just like a small ass trash can we had a trash can like yours like decenttop and i was just standing in our kitchen and so our kitchen went we had like a countertop here and then we had like shit up here and there was like a little island that like peeked out into like our dining room and then our living room

area and i was just standing there and my brother's like what the fuck are you doing i was like i'm peeing and i had my dick out over the trash can that i thought was the toilet and my brother just tells me he just grabbed my arms and just started walking me to the toilet and i guess he started pissing all oh my god as he started walking me to the toilet. He's like, pinch it off. Pinch it off, Camden. And I remember something he said. Like, it was like I was sleepwalking, but I was awake, but I was asleep. Doesn't make much sense. Makes a lot of sense.

I can still hear some of the shit that he was like telling me. And so I guess when he got to the bathroom he's like i'm not fucking holding your tally whacker for you you're like will you flick it for me at least no okay fine uh she told me a couple of recent ones i've said but i'll talk about some of the past ones well this isn't something i've said but there was one night where i punched the lamp off of my nightstand it's always the best when you're reenacting i was sleeping like this and i just went like this i just punched the lamp off my nightstand. Y'all. And then the other day she said, you want to know what you said to me last night?

I was like, what? What did I say? I'm like, oh my gosh, here we go. She, I guess I stirred awake. And she goes, are you sleepy, baby? baby and i just go shut the fuck up and she's like what and i'm like shut the fuck up like i didn't like i wasn't like shut the fuck up like i wasn't pissed it was like kind of playful yeah the other thing she just recently told me i did and this kind of scares me honestly because i have no memory of this i was asleep i guess we were sleeping butt to butt i reached back i pulled her pants down i pulled my pants down i pressed my bare ass against her bare ass and i was just like we're connected

like what what does that even mean oh and the other thing she said she's like you sleep talking again last night i'm like what i say she's like you were just like these nimrods are not gonna figure it out. I wonder who I was thinking about or talking about. Probably someone at work. Oh, man. I mean, one time, Bailey was like. I'm sampling the wires over here.

I'm going. Going down the line. I'm going four for over here I'm going going down the line I'm going four for four this is gonna be my well fourth new flavor new flavor when I tend to do crazy shit and like

when I'm sleeping or anything like that it's when I'm like exhausted like when we've been go go go at work you know

and I just don't have much time to rest i have been sleeping like shit maybe it's something about like your brain just reaching a deeper sleep and just weird shit starts to happen well that in my adhd my my brain is so active like that was my biggest thing when i was a little kid like i had to take like melatonin or something like that because it helped shut my brain down but one night i guess little perk 30 take the edge off me and bailey were like she was like just getting ready she was like just getting ready to go to sleep or like just dozing off and i was like full on asleep and i remember what dream i was having i was having a dream that i was doing something and in that dream i guess i was doing it in real life but i was sleeping oh no

so you molested your girlfriend in your sleep no not oh oh i i know like i was just like sorry i was just like feeling her up i guess i was just like grabbing her hips and like pulling her close to me i guess and she just turns over, what the fuck are you doing? And it, like, scared me awake. Like, I have a damn memory of how to heart attack. I was like, I don't know. Like, I don't know.

And she's like, what are you doing? And I was like, I don't know. I was sleeping. Whether she believes me or not, I was sleeping. I promise you that you just go are you horny baby i just i just wake up look at him like are you horny baby do i make you randy tell them the story about you and lena when you woke up and you just go what'd you do zombies so i guess i was watching the oh i put my mic there i'm gonna restart that because i don't know if i messed up my talking so i've been watching a lot of like nazi zombies like youtubers

like playing so i must have had zombies on the brain because she she said i i don't i don't think i was prompted this times usually it starts with like you roll over and it's like you probably are like partially awake and that's when you can like get in there you can like kind of get in in into their sleep brain a little bit because if you like what she'll do is she'll talk to me when i'm like rolling over or something and then i'm responding but i'm asleep i'm like incoherent yeah um but i don't know if this one was prompted or not i well maybe she said something to me but i guess i rolled over i think and i just looked at her and went zombies or what what was it what was the story she's told she's told me this a couple times and i fuck i can't i swear either you or she said something or did something and you just rolled over and you just grabbed her face and you were just like zombies there was one time she said

i scared the shit out of her because she or am i mixing am i mixing two stories i think you are because there was one time there was one time where she like was like can you scoot over or like you're snoring like or basically she was upset with me about something and i guess i rolled over and i grabbed her on either side of the face and just went and just stared into her eyes with my eyes open. I was asleep. I have no memory of this because I was sleeping. And I just grabbed her on either side of the head and just stared into her soul. And she's like, that was scary.

Dude. I'm like, I'm sorry. So I've watched a lot of scary scary movies which is what's holding me back but i really really want to a fill myself while i sleep and b have the sound like have you seen those like apps i was gonna say i'm pretty sure there's an app where if you like stir awake it'll start recording or like well like i'm pretty sure there's an app where if you stir awake, it'll start recording. Or like, I'm saying there's an app of, quote unquote says, if you fart or if you do anything like that in your sleep. I thought it was just like if you move.

It just picks up the voice memo. It's like a voice memo, but just for if you're sleep talking, it'll start recording it. I should get that too. But I want to... We should do a week. This could be our Grass Daddy's Podcast challenge for us two. And record ourselves sleeping for a week and get the app that says what we say at night and compare it and see. Because I've done some dumb shit in my high school. I got myself to the point where going astral.

I don't know what that is. But yeah. What? In high school. Like with drugs? No. Just like meditation. What the fuck are you talking about?

Yeah, I watched it on YouTube. You meditate. Go on. Have you ever heard of the... What's the fucking guy? I can't remember his name the black guy the the gray man or something like that the guy that comes in with a top hat and cane and you're supposed to i've gone through sleep i've gone through sleep paralysis oh my god i love sleep paralysis stories and scary stories but i really want to

save that for like yeah let's do like a halloween like october halloween scary episode that's fine we can wait oh i love sleep paralysis stories because they're so wild did i ever show you the Mr. Ballin episode where he tells his crazy story? Maybe after this we should watch it because it's not super long. Dude, it's crazy. It's insane. Do you have any like reoccurring dreams that are like... Yeah. Dude, I have like...

I can't remember who was it that told me that I had a reoccurring dream where they would get chased by a giant chicken. I think it was a kid in my high school and I'm like, that's crazy. Well, so I have... I have T-Rex dreams. I have the same dream. It used to be like twice a year. But now it's like once a year but my family we've never went on like a big trip together like we've never like flown or anything but in this one dream every We are on a plane and something happens like our pilot or whatever.

I'm sorry. It is so funny just sitting here watching you just fumble through and piece your thoughts together. I know you can't help it. I'm trying to give you guys the best experience. All right. My friend BJ was telling me about this. He's like, you'll be sitting there talking, and then he'll just say something that absolutely derails what you're talking about. And you'll have to be like, anyways, and try to regroup.

I'm sorry, go on. Go on. Go on. You'll say a topic, and then you'll start talking on another topic, and I'm like, I got something to say. Because I like hearing myself talk. But. If Tom Brady puts it up, it's getting hot. Bill knows.

He's good for 60. Tell your fucking story. So. Can you tell we're getting buzzed? Something happens. Something happens with our pilot. And it's only left for me to fly the fucking plane. And I crashed the plane.

Sully! I crashed the whole plane and my whole family died. Tom Hanks. Oh, that's not what Tom Hanks did. Tom Hanks landed it. I don't land that motherfucker to Hudson. I don't land that bitch on rock solid ground I thought you were

I thought you were gonna say some wild wild shit like I got in the passenger seat and I saw the World Trade Center I also

I also have a dream that I get chased by an alien through a cornfield that's like from like signs right isn't there like a scary movie about like aliens I'm like, here we go. Chased by an alien through a cornfield. That's like from like Signs, right? Isn't there like a scary movie about like aliens and cornfields and shit? I don't know.

But either way. Anyways. I have another. I'm always like. Do you ever have dreams about falling? Yes. Don't they say, like, if you fall in your dream, and you hit the ground, you die? That's such horseshit.

You're like, no it's not, I hit the ground once and died. Dude. But you're right here right now. Are we gonna kill this case? That's gonna be a lot yeah fuck yeah we're gonna kill a fucking case um but i love the theories and topics and shit behind sleep because to me sleep is so mysterious nobody knows what they do when they're sleeping well what's crazy is that the human brain is so active when it's resting or supposedly resting yeah it's when your body sleeps it's when you reset what's really crazy is what happens when you don't sleep when people are going on just crazy benders like there, there is... Well, what's the fucking... What's the deal they tried?

What is that called? Where they kept... Made people stay awake for... Oh, the Russian sleep experiment? Yeah. I mean, that wasn't real. It was like a creepypasta thread. But the idea of it is crazy.

I thought that was like an actual thing. Well, it might have been based in some truth. But I think the actual story you're thinking of was a made-up story. But who knows? In World War II, there was some crazy shit going on. And I'm sure there probably was people getting tested like that. Dude, fucking... Number one reason why I quit taking my ADHD medicine is because of insomnia.

Oh, it makes it hard for you to sleep? Because all day, it makes me hyper-focused. Because ADHD medicine counteracts and slows what you are thinking down. So your body feels slower, but you're still comprehending and working on, like, a normal speed. Does it kind of make you feel, like, high a little bit? Or does it just kind of, like, I don't feel so crazy? I don't know. I was on the highest milligrams of fucking, like, ADHD medicine you could get.

But... It wasn't Adderall, was it? No, it was Vyvanse. Oh. i couldn't take adderall it made me well there was guys like just what i was talking about guys that stay up for super long and they take like adderall but then they stay up and they don't go to sleep for days and then they start to trip the fuck out yeah it's crazy that's like people that do acid and shit most of your trips happen because you're super tired because it like counteracts with your body tells you like hey like i want to do this but then your body is like because it's different from like

mushrooms yeah there's certain drugs that just, like, oh, they make colors vibrant and they make textures kind of move a little bit. And then there's some drugs that are just, like, do you want to live your life in the course of five minutes? Like, we were just watching that Game Over Man movie, which we need to watch sometime

because it's super funny. I fucking love that movie. Oh, wait, you did watch it. Yeah, I've seen it. You've seen it. it i'll watch it again with you because the the one character like does salvia and i was like looking up like salvia because i kind of knew about it and let me just look it up really quick because it's the definitions that i was reading were super funny so while you're going on that um back to the topic of my dhd medicine once that would wear off my body would finally realize that that's gone and my brain would start going ape shit so i couldn't go to sleep so i would essentially have insomnia

because my head was going so fast i couldn't sleep so then i'd have to take a melatonin anyways salvia how you might feel mild hallucinations at low doses high doses can bring a dramatic time distortions and frightening hallucinations that sucks i don't even want to know how long does it take to work if smoked instant so it's like the moment you exhale you're gone i thought salvia was just like a strain of weed a mexican plant with leaves containing psychoactive chemicals that produce hallucinations when shooters smoke. Okay, so it's like peyote. Sure.

Kind of. I don't. It's not weed, but it's like a different plant. Well, because I don't know if I'm wrong. Nobody correct me if I'm wrong. Could trigger a psychotic episode if someone is already experiencing mental health problems. Oh my god. Jesus Christ.

So. How long the effects last. About 20 minutes of smoked. Up to two hours if chewed. Fuck that. Dude. I don't understand how people can do fucking acid. It's wild, man.

It's brain altering. It fucks with the chemical balance in your acid. It's wild, man. It's brain altering. It fucks with the chemical balance in your brain. I was hanging out with this kid. Didn't know he was into drugs. I knew he smoked weed at the time, but I was like, whatever. Because I was like,

I don't have to do it. Just because I hang out with you doesn't mean I have to do it and like Zins one time one time he popped a tab of acid he made us go get it and I was like whatever

and I was stressed the fuck out because everybody's like you gotta make sure people have good trips. Like, if you set a hostile environment, they're going to have hostile trips. And I was like, I don't want this motherfucker beating the shit out of everybody because he's having a bad fucking trip. All of a sudden, he just starts swinging on everyone. And so then, later that night, I finally went to sleep because I had to go to work the next day

and we were drinking. And I woke up at four in the morning and he's still just sitting there playing Fortnite. He's just like... Oh, yeah. He's just fucking laser focused, dude. He told me this. I go, alright, I'm going to work now.

He just goes... Like, was just laser laser focus i'm locked in but i'm getting this dub and he's just like up against a wall just like running not i think it's weird to say but i've already said i think um the stuff about sleeping and all that shit what people believe about sleeping is interesting but

something I find very interesting is indigenous people like the day of the dead like all that shit cultural cultural type of um kind of creepy cultural like mind alteration belief well not mind alteration necessarily but just like kind of like spiritual like astral like you're talking about yeah welliefs and traditions and whatnot. There is a podcast, another podcast.

It's called National Parks After Dark. They're way bigger than us. Shouts out to not. Shout them out. Plug them. Well. They might not have heard it. Gavin and Spencer, have you heard of this?

National Parks After Dark. They talk about crazy shit that's happened in national parks. Whether it's these people that get lost or whatever. But they went on, one of their episodes was talking about indigenous people and their beliefs. So they believe that you go through stages. Wait. Scratch all that I just said.

It's one of my favorite podcasts. Well, I got it mixed up because there's a lot of podcasts that I listen to, but that they... Scratch everything you just heard. You go through, they say that you go through stages right and in these stages of your death is like challenges that you have to face before you can get to you know enlightenment what some people might say is going to heaven or hell or whatever, like how their beliefs go. But then at the very last stage, the reason why most people light candles is so they can follow the light through like all their challenges. You'll follow the light that was like one of the things and they were like peyote was which i don't know if it's true or not because it's on the internet but

that indigenous people would smoke peyote because it would give them like like open their minds yeah and like let them see how to. Like if they're. And they believe. They probably believed. And I'm not trying to put words in anyone's mouth. Did they believe like. Their trips were like this is what reality is.

And like I'm. Yeah like. Being blinded. They would believe that they're like going through something. And they would smoke peyote to see. How they should attack this object that they're going like forth with you know what I mean

like it would give them like a foreseeing eye like this is how the future is going to happen there is this fucking wild GHP GHP oh should I tell that story or no?

What story? About my neighbor that lives behind us. Or that lives behind us. Oh, you can. The fire pit. I can end it on that because it's a pretty good story. Yeah. So, we were having a fire pit one night.

And I went inside to pee or something. And how many is that for you? This is my fifth. So, this would be my sixth. So, I got to catch up. One, two, three, four, five, six. Work tomorrow is going to fucking suck. Fuck them.

I went inside to pee or something. Oh, you grabbed one? I went inside to pee or something, and I thought I'd be funny by playing a video over my speaker really loud through my window. And... over my speaker really loud through my window and I played the video there's a meme where this little kid is getting a haircut

and then the guy doing the haircut goes damn I messed up we gotta go bald and then the kid goes and he like screams because he's like crying. Cause he thinks he has to get his head shaved. He was just joking. But the kid thought he was being serious. I just played that full volume through my speaker out the window, which in my room,

it sounded quiet, but the speaker was projecting it out into the backyard to everyone that was sitting at the fire pit. And I thought I was being funny i go and pee i go back outside and then my friends and roommates are going did you hear our neighbor or the guy that lives behind i'm like what they're like yeah he said something about burning people. And I'm like, what are you talking about? Word up! And then I hear this guy behind my head yelling. And he's like, you shouldn't be having a fire.

You can't burn people. Something like that. He's like, I'm calling the police. And we're like, what the fuck is going on yeah so and then we start hearing like he had to have looked up like a youtube video of like police chatter radio chatter or something yeah because we started hearing like police radio chatter coming from like his the back of his house so So I think he was just playing. Police chatter. Through a speaker.

To try to scare us that the police were coming. Do you think that. Which. I know where the end of this story is going. I don't want to ruin anything. Do you think maybe. He just had a set up. Like a full on fucking set up.

Well. We can leave that there and we'll get to that because maybe and we'll get to that so that all breezes over and the next day comes and I get home from work

and I'm or no so whatever the next day comes I'm inside I hear our doorbell ring. And I kind of look through the window. And I'm like, I see a guy with kind of a shaved head and glasses. And he just looked like a guy. And I'm like, I don't know who that is.

And I go back in. And I go into Corbin's room. I'm like, there's someone at the door and I don't know who it is. And he's like, well, answer it. Thanks, Corbin. Anyways, so I go and answer it. And he's like, hey, I live behind you. And what I thought he was about to say was like did you hear that crazy guy yelling last

night because i wanted to be like because he's like did you have a fire pit last night because what i wanted to be like oh my god did you hear that fucking crazy guy too but i didn't and i kind of let him keep talking he's like i live behind you to the side i'm the guy with like the the rottweiler bulldog or whatever and i realized oh it's him the guy that was like talking to us like it's him yeah so i'm really glad i didn't say anything um and he's just like so the whole time the night before we were just like he's probably like really drunk or like on drugs or something like it'll breeze over he'll like sober up obviously he's just going through it right now yeah he'll sober up but then the next

day happens so i know for a fact he's sober and he comes to the door and he goes candidly straight to my face just goes were you burning people last night and i was like i was like what and he's just like i heard screaming last night and he's referring to that video i was playing over the speaker where the kid goes and he must have thought that it was a woman or someone screaming and this will all make sense in a second once i clarify but i was just just like, I mean, like, we got some, like, female roommates who were probably, like, laughing or something. That might have been what you heard. And he's like, oh, okay. Well, are you sure you, like, didn't slip him some GHB or something and burn them?

And he's just straight face asking me this dead serious to my face. And I'm just like. Yeah, I didn't Bill Cosby anybody. At thisby at this point i'm like no that didn't happen and he's like oh okay like almost kind of defeated and he's like well can i look in your fire pit and i'm just like like thinking like what was he thinking oh fuck was he wanting to see if he could find human remains or something well bones burn at like what first of all why would you know that anyways because off that topic i'm into that creepy shit anyways oh my god national parks Like National Parks after dark. Anyways. Morbid. Listen to morbid. He's like, he's like, well, can I look in your fire pit? And I'm just like, um, cause I didn't want to like, be like, no, get the fuck out of

here. But I also wasn't going to be like, yeah, let me walk you into my property. Well, like, because he's your neighbor. You don't want to like i can kind of see where you come from you don't want to build like a fucking hostile environment with your fucking neighbor exactly exactly i wasn't just gonna be like get the fuck out of here because fuck you mate first of all you don't know who anyone is you can't just say shit like that to someone without knowing who they are now in the world

that we live in people just don't give a fuck anyways so he's like can i look at your fire pit and so i'm glad my brain was just taken over for me at this point because i didn't know what was going on and i just said uh you can look from the fence because i was like that's a fair compromise because he's technically not like going into the backyard and i'm also not saying no get the fuck out of here yeah and then he's like should i go like around this way or this like i'm just like what is happening right now like he was just like dead serious just wanted to look in our fire pit and i was like uh around that way like that side of the house would work better. And he, like, I, like, look through our side window in our kitchen.

And I can see him, like, trying to look into our backyard. Which you can't see shit from your fence. I mean, you can see where the fire pit is. You can see the fire pit. But you're not, like, looking down in it. And I don't know. Was he going to be like poking through the ashes or something? Anyways. So that was kind of a crazy.

He walks away. That was kind of a crazy interaction. I didn't know what the fuck happened or what was going on. The next day. Martin's out there. Should I let him in? Should we let him in since Lena's not down here? This is already running long. Alright, fuck it. Let's let him in. Should we let him in since Lena's not down here? This is already running long.

Alright, fuck it. Let's let him in. Long pod, baby. Let's go. Oh, it's Roo. Roo? What are you doing, Roo? Meow. He's kind of hesitant. Meow.

He's hesitant. Watch her and make sure she doesn't pee on anything. I don't think she will. Alright, like usual usual and like I always like to say we're going off the rails she hasn't been in this room before so she's kind of sketched out I don't think so well I can't see her so

anyways let me finish my story go for it so the next day I get home from work. And my next door neighbor. I'm getting out of my truck and she's like, hey, Jake. And I'm like, hey. And my next door neighbor is super nice. Her and her husband, they have like five kids that live there, which is a lot of kids.

But they were super nice and super cool. And she's like, hey, I see you you met which i don't know his last name but this is just for the sake of the story um maybe i'll bleep his name too i don't know i would she's like i see you met so-and-so. And I was just like, yeah. Uh, and she's just like, she could tell I was like super confused by the whole interaction. And she's like, yeah, he's kind of an interesting character. She's like, he like went overseas, like in the military and he came back and he had PTSD and he's schizophrenic. So I was honestly relieved because I was like, he was just going through a mental condition episode. He wasn't just some guy that was... At least he's not like a fucking...

At least he wasn't like tripping out on drugs. He was just having an episode and i'm sure me playing screaming super loud through a speaker like probably sent him into an episode ptsd is not one of those things you can fuck around with now she did tell me something kind of funny i don't know if it's funny but i found it kind of funny she goes yeah she thought my husband was so-and-so like a political figure and would come over and like chew him out sometimes but for the most part when he wasn't having like a flare-up he was really nice and he had a kid has a kid and their kid would play with ours sometimes and like when you have like schizophrenia or something like that

you have to be mentally fit in order to care for yeah a child so you have to like every so often every so often you have to just like i don't know if it's like a test or something but you have to like prove that you're fit to be able to take care of a child hi ru and um but she was like yeah he had his facebook profile is now like blocked and like nobody can see it now but on facebook he used to have like a bio like a like an overview map of the neighborhood and he would have a bio for each house and he said the bio for our house was if your kid is missing it's probably here because they had like six kids which is kind of funny but also not really that funny because it's kind of you know well like i

don't want to laugh at his condition but it's also just kind of funny it is kind of funny because it's kind of you know well like i don't want to laugh at his condition but it's also just kind of funny it is kind of funny because me and you were just becoming friends yeah before they moved on with their life but dude these kids had a fucking path we had a sheep eroded away we had a sheep dog she wore a path around our house they had a sheep dog. It eroded away. We had a sheep dog. She wore a path around our house. They had a racetrack that they had worn down. She thought that we, like her sheep, our great-grandchildren, she wore a path around our house because at night

she would just do nothing but run around the house. That's what this fucking house looked like. Like they had a herd of fucking sheep or something. Oh, there she is. Hi, Rue. Welcome, Rue, to the podcast. Lena, please don't be mad at me if you're watching this later.

Oh, there she goes. This is Rue. See you later, Rue. But, yeah, they had a fucking path war on this house. Oh, the other funny story about him him i can't remember if this was before or after she told me this my neighbor told me this i was sitting in my backyard oh my god we're about to talk about grass prepare yourself easy don't get a fucking raging motor i was sitting in my backyard watching my sprinklers watering my grass. That was it.

That's all the grass I was going to talk about. So he comes storming out of his back door and he goes, who's talking shit? And I was like, I'm the only other person out here right now. I did. I kind of like slink down to my chair. I'm like i'm like what the well as you guys should know jake's a six six big motherfucker but like still that's so aggressive and caught me off guard and he goes who's talking shit was it you and he pointed at me but i also wasn't sure and you're just like this might

have been after she told me about him so I think I had an inkling about what was going on she goes who was talking shit he goes who was talking shit was it you and I just stand up and I go me he's like you. And I'm just like, no, it wasn't me. And he's like, I heard someone talking shit. And then he goes, is there someone on my attic? Which, why would you say on my attic? Because I was like, and then I was like, on your roof? And he's like, yeah, is there someone on my roof?

And I was like, no, there's no one up up there because i can see his whole house from my backyard yeah and then he goes oh okay and he just turns around and walks back inside and i was like dude but can you imagine that was so wild can you imagine fucking living with that though i'd just be tripping shit like you're on fucking drugs all the time, but it's... She said he used to have a big, beautiful tree in his backyard, and he had a tree service come in and cut it down because he thought there was people with guns living in it. And I was like, that's honestly so sad. Yeah. Like, I feel bad for him. Like...

And she even said, yeah, he thinks there's people that live in his attic. Well, I don't know... It's like, I feel bad for him like she and she even said yeah he thinks there's people that live in his attic well i don't know i feel bad for him there's like a video on the internet i don't know if i don't care who's seen it i don't care but there's a guy that served in the military and he gets pulled over and a cop goes up to him and is like this guy's like bawling his eyes out and the cop's like well what's going on and he's like i'm on the phone with the like suicide hotline for like veterans or like they get ptsd they never fucking like that's something that i mean i don't i'm not an expert on it i don't know if you can recover from it or how long it would take to recover from it but it's like

it's sad and you need a comfort animal which is why rue is coming up to comfort me because she knows that i'm sad well hey baby this veteran just asked the cop can i have a hug and it's like all right now you're just pulling out my heartstrings but like yeah i mean you got to be careful because what if he tries to reach for your gun or but like also it's like also it's like like maybe that's really all he needs if i was a cop in that position like what do you do like he's obviously you know has you know a condition that's pretty scary yeah like ptsd you don't know what people are going to do these motherfuckers are in the military most guys that have PTSD

fought in a shitty ass war seen some shit you don't know what these guys are going to do they're going to protect their lives but also like you also got to be there for them like what the fuck like I don't

but yeah so that whole i seen that video cut while back and it was like it's almost you feel i don't know i don't know how i would feel in that position like you like you're like yeah you can look for my fence but you can't go in my backyard it's like yeah how do you weigh out the options? Because you're... I think I did it perfectly. Yeah. Without realizing what I was doing. Because I didn't want to say, yeah, I'll take you into my backyard.

Because I didn't want to walk hand in hand with this guy that I have no idea who he is. Exactly, but you also came to that, who thinks... No, fuck you. Who just asked me if I drugged my roommates and killed them. But yeah, I didn't also want to be like, get the fuck out of here. That's kind of sad.

You know what? We're not ending on that. Tell me a joke. And this is why I don't care who you talk to, who you care about. You always make sure everybody's having a goddamn good day. Because we need to love each other. And whether you say some shit about somebody, guess what?

You don't know what they're going on and what's going on in their life at home. People cut me off every fucking day. Cause I drive on a road with roundabouts and yes i'm screaming fuck you you piece of shit and flipping them off while i drive home but i mean it with love but then i think to myself hey who knows maybe they're pregnant maybe they're going through some shit maybe they doing this. I don't fucking know exactly. That's why you gotta be kind.

But that was still kind of a negative. Tell me a joke. What do you call a monkey in a minefield? Do I have to say what? Or do I have to say what? I don't know, I gotta guess. A monkey in a minefield. An oranga bang. I'm only laughing because that was so stupid.

It's a dad joke. I got dad jokes. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef What do you call a herd of masturbating cattle? I don't know Beef stroking off Oh we probably better end this before we say something racist. We started off hot.

We got cold. We went astral. Talking about dreams. We drained a case. Sorry, Lena. I love you. I'm about to come upstairs and probably try to kiss you. sorry Lena I love you I'm about to come upstairs and probably try to kiss you yeah social media manager

you better look out you better watch out you don't know what I can do in my sleep you better watch out when you're sleeping tonight because there's no limits this fucking podcast episode got wayward real quick like you said two guys out in the desert fucking heat with no satisfaction almost no relief and

then you plop a case of white claw refreshers down in front of them and shit's gonna get crazy shit gets bucked wild that's all i'm saying. But it is what it is. We love you guys. All right, ladies and gentlemen, I got to piss like a shuttling pony. This is the Grass Daddies closing off. Closing off. Everybody, we love you. Don't use granular fertilizer.

Fertilicide. Don't use granular fertilizer. Don't use granular fertilizer. Don't use granular fertilizer. I can't fucking talk. Come on. Get it now. Fuck. Granular.

Fert. Until next time. Don't use granular fertilizer. Granular. Don't use. Granular. Don't. until next time hold on this is gonna be the outro clip i'm filming the outro clip i just not tap myself do the dap wait do the dap until next time don't use granular fertilizer when it's really hot outside and your grass is stressed

nailed it Don't use granular fertilizer when it's really hot outside and your grass is stressed. Nailed it! Boom! I guess he really did have to pee.