Gutfeld! Monologues - A Club That Can't Take A Joke If The Comic Isn't Woke

Episode Date: March 2, 2024

As seen on Gutfeld!, FOX News Contributor Tyrus, Comedian Jamie Lissow, FOX News Contributor Kat Timpf, and political science professor Nicholas Giordano discuss a comedy club in Seattle that told comedians telling non-woke jokes to skedaddle.  Later, the panel discusses a chocolate factory that was said to be quite unsatisfactory. Follow Greg on Twitter: @GregGutfeld Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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or read a five-minute summary of the book at economic principles.org. My fault. My fault. All right, all right, all right. Happy Wednesday, everybody. Let's welcome tonight's guests. He gets a standing O whenever he cancels a show. actor, writer and comedian Jamie LaSalle.

He knows free speech like I know a nude beach. Campus Reform Higher Education Fellow Nicholas Giordano. Raccoons complained she's been going through their trash. New York Times bestselling author and Fox News contributor Cat Tip. And when he gives you a piece of his mind, it gets delivered on a forklift. New York Times bestselling author, comedian, former NWA world champion Tyrant.

But it's big. I just raised the roof. Jamie, always a pleasure to see you. They told comics to skedaddle at a club in Seattle. Pretty good, huh? I speak of a comedy club that canceled upcoming performances of four comedians that apparently they deemed problematic, leaving Seattle residents furious because this gives him four fewer victims to rob.

The list includes Louis Gomez and three guys you've seen on this very show. Kurt Metzger, Dave Smith, and Jim Florentine. So what exactly was the club's issue besides the fact that their only pronouns are he, him, and his? An email sent to the comic cited discussions with local comedians in neighborhood groups and reads in part, quote, Capitol Hill is known for its progressive values, and we've received significant feedback expressing concerns about the alignment of these upcoming shows. with the neighborhood's ethos. This feedback includes concerns from local advocacy groups that are deeply embedded in our community

and work towards upholding its values. So they were concerned about aligning with their neighborhood ethos. And what neighborhood is that? Well, the club is located just around the corner from the former Capitol Hill Autonomous Zone, or Chaz, which I'm pretty certain is Latin. is Latin for hellhole.

Remember that communist paradise? It's the area where the violent activists took over during the summer at 2020, the summer of love. It was the site of multiple shootings, two deaths, arson, and alleged sexual assaults. Imagine the Gaza Strip, but with more human feces. It costs the city millions in damages.

But yeah, thank God they're protecting that from unwoke comics. The only thing they'll assault is your precious feelings. So to sum it all up, these guys are bad. these guys are banned because they're actually funny. And you can't have that in a woke environment where crime is preferable to comedy. They prefer criminals killing on the streets, not comedians killing on stage, which is why they wanted to get Jamie Lissau. But he was busy babysitting his kids because his ex-wife was on a date with a hotter-looking guy.

Mm-hmm. Facts. Okay, I'm theorizing here that the clubs knew who they were hiring. They knew these people. So they canceled it not because they found out about the comedians. They had to cancel because they were threatened, right? What's going on? They just did these guys the biggest favor they could have ever possibly. If you, okay, if any of you even know who any of these people are, I can't imagine.

imagine anything better for their careers than to get a cancellation happening to them. I mean, like, yeah, like, Lewis Gomez and Dave Smith, yeah, wait till the fans of their podcast, Legion of Skanks, find out that people think they're offensive. Like, it's so absurd. And really, the buzzword there more than anything is local comedians, as in people who go to open mics and are not successful. and are very upset, not so much at the content of what these guys are saying, but at the fact that they are not as successful as they are.

I think that's what so much of this stuff is rooted in. Okay, well, maybe if I can't become a nationally known comedian, I can take one down, but really what you did is you really, you've lifted them up. Yeah, you know, I didn't think of that. It was like the local comedians. Of course. What are they like? Oh, I know exactly what they're like.

I know exactly what they're like. They come to the stage, and the first thing we have to do, Everybody write their pronouns in a piece of paper. There's a patent paper and a number two pencil with a special eraser in case you're triggered by rubber. Pass that to the front, and then we'll begin the show. Problem is, that takes an hour and 45 minutes. Because they'll change the thing. Listen, I think the club, at first I looked at this, I got pissed, and I actually wrote on Twitter.

I fired on this until Jim Florentine and stuff said, do what I do. And I have a perfect example. Last weekend, I was in, thank you, but not yet. Hold it stage. Last week, I was in Andover, Massachusetts, and I did a stand-up show, 1,500 seats sold out, and it was like 200 people wanted to come in standing. It was crazy. Because 40 miles away, a club in Boston said, well, our community is this day.

We're just not really sure Tyrus is a good fit. And the only thing I said was, find me the closest club close to it. Yeah. And we did that. And my advice to them was do the same thing. Find a club. You four get together because I book my own shit, no agent, nothing. My wife does it all for me.

So, and I book wherever I want to, and they should do the same thing. And you get way more money anyways if you do it yourself. Trust me. But they need to do that because the point is let them have it. They suck. The only other thing I was going to say is the crime is so bad there. The club is already on its way, is going out of it. business because of woke comedians or they tell them the guys don't come because

they're afraid of getting their burn down that's the the other side of it that's why I never get mad at the club I say okay cool thank you GPS me something close to him just to make the point yeah make the point but it also could be that they're like they're scared to do anything because there's no help from law enforcement no help from the government and they're bringing these four guys and they're getting threats and this is that they've been living in this they live it every day so maybe don't take it so personally be like, you know what? Maybe this was just the thing for all four of those guys,

and every one of those guys could book an event and get people to come. Yeah, you know, well done. It is pretty interesting, Nigelis, that like no comics torched a business or attacked a police station or rioted in the no-go zone, but they're the ones. Well, this is why comedy isn't funny anymore. You have these comedy clubs that want to go woke. Nobody wants to pay for virtue signaling. Who needs to hear that?

Just turn on the news or going to a college classroom. You can hear it all the time. Yeah. And the thing is, it used to be that conservatives were the uptight ones. But you look at the numbers now. Polgers came out today where a third of Americans think that freedom of speech goes too far. And then if we look at the age group, 16 to 29, over 50% believe it goes too far. So they're the uptight ones.

Comedy, you've got to push the envelope. There is no boundaries. It's all about free speech. I grew up in the era of Eddie Murphy and Richard Pryor, George Collin. I was eight years old. You had to watch what your parents watched on TV back then. They didn't condo you. You just watched it in that laugh.

And that's what made it fun. Now we have, well, we have you, we have Jamie, we have Chappelle. I mean, when we look at it. In that order. There's Tyrus, of course, and Pat. I mean, when you're looking at it, those that push the boundaries are the ones that win. Wait, they're the ones that are funny, they're the ones that are bringing in the crowds,

and hopefully this comedy club does go out of business because of it. I think, Jamie, this is a perfect stunt for you. Yeah. The next time one of your shows gets canceled, which will probably be tomorrow. Yeah, tomorrow. Say that it was over threats over your too hot to handle material. Yeah, just yesterday they canceled the show because no one was coming and I was like, The Five of Us Are Out of Here.

I just grouped myself with them. I was so upset when this story came out. I called the club and I go, could I work that? And I was so jealous, though, you're right, Kat. Kat is so, when I saw the story, all four of those guys are incredible comics. All four of those guys are hilarious. And if you are big with neighborhood groups and open micers, I guarantee you are not funny. Yeah.

I guarantee you're not funny if you're a favorite of those guys. But when I saw this, I was so jealous because let's say their goal was that people don't hear this, this unwoke comedy. I know so many people that Googled and YouTubeed all these guys today, they did the absolute opposite of what they wanted to do. and then makes me happy for all these guys. I think they did book a club down the road. I think it's the Tulsa Comedy Club. I was there maybe four weeks ago. It was sold out.

Just massive Gutfeld fans and packed the place. So I'm happy for that comedy club where they're doing the right thing. And I'm done with all censorship of all. I just did like a college. I said I'd never do these ever again. And it was like good money. So I got hired at this college.

And before the show, this girl comes up and she goes, here's a list of the things you can't talk about. And I am not kidding. If you had dropped her list and my set list, they were the same. But I'm happy for these guys. There's not a big deal for them, but I'll happy for him. All right.

Well, then I'm happy for you, Jamie. Thanks, Greg. You should be. I am. You should be. He's in a wonderful relationship. His career is going well. Like, stand up to him.

We talked to just a time. You're not divorced loser guy anymore. You're happily rebounded guy getting through. Yeah. God, I feel like my parents are fighting. You had black parents? All right, we got to move on. Black History Month. Am I not alone tonight?

It's almost over. Yeah, we got an extra day. Don't clap. All right, up next, Brats expected a chocolate river, but Willie Wonka didn't deliver. Did you know that at Chevron, you can fuel up on unbeatable mileage and savings? With Chevron Rewards, you'll get 25 cents off per gallon on your next five visits. All you have to do is download the Chevron app and join to start saving on fuel. Then you can keep fueling up on other things like adventure, memories, vacations, daycations, quality time, and so many other possibilities. Head to your nearest Chevron station to fuel up and get rewarded today.

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Stop it. Willie Wonka's magic turned out to be tragic. This chocolate factory was unsatisfactory. Outrage in Glasgow, Glasgow. Glasgow sounds good. Okay, Scotland. Tonight, after families paid $44 a ticket to what they thought was going to be an out-of-this-world, Willie Wonka experience, but it was anything but. Now, Willie Wonka's chocolate experience had built.

It filled itself as a fantasy like never before, where you can capture the enchantment. But trust me, when someone promises a fantasy like never before, don't you buy it? I'm still healing from Kudlow's slip and slide party. There was no slip and slide, just a jar of K-Y. Okay. Oh, yes. It was also supposed to be featuring an enchanted garden with giant sweets and vibrant blooms and magical surprises, which is the same language Kilmead uses to get.

people who do his van. They also promoted their imagination lab with mind-expanding projections and optical marvels and a twilight tunnel with enigmatic sounds in a dimly lit passage, which reminds me I'm overdue

for a colonoscopy. But there was none of that. Instead, they got a dingy warehouse. Look at that. Looks more like a molester hideaway, not a chocolate factory. This place is so seedy. even cat won't stay there for longer than six months.

Seriously, look at that shit. That place isn't even suitable enough to house migrants. I've seen crack dens that have more ambiance. Just a few crappy props and absolutely no candy-coated magic whatsoever. And there's an anemic rainbow, some dime store wall art, a few candy canes and lollipops and some toad stools, not an oompa-lumpa in sight. Well, except for the sad-looking orange-faced little person. She's not even a little person. And what's he cooking, meth? I'm not sure.

I don't think those are bonbons in those beakers. Anyway, the entire thing was shut down, and the company behind the Candy Con apologized and promised full refunds. But it was so bad, apparently, that these Scottish parents actually called the cops. I believe we have that 911 tape. 9-1-1, what's your emergency? Yeah, I'm at the Willy Wonka chocolate experience and it's absolute shi-hsha.

Where are the gobstoppers? There's no bloody gobstoppers. I'm freaking out. Sir, calm down. How can I stay calm when there's a complete lack of tail-tofted umpalumpus giving life lessons in the form of song? I paid 35 pounds for this. I expect there to be a freaking elevator that goes sideways

and slant ways and long ways and backways and square ways, sir, and front ways in any other ways I can think of. This isn't really a police matter. The chocolate river aren't even a wee bit edible. Pretty sure it's little crap. These people should be behind bars. Wonka bars, maybe. You have some.

Are they scrummedly anxious? Please. It was a joke. Oh, piss off, you daft kid. Stop. Don't. Come back. Nicholas, you have kids.

Is there any lesson here for parents? I wish I could have taken my kids today. I mean, the life lessons in this for such a cheap price, you get to teach them about disappointment. Yes. That, you know, in life, expectations don't match reality, and they have to handle real-world situations. They also get the lesson on the buyer beware. So I look at the positivity of this as opposed to the negativity, and let's face it today, the parents, they cuddle their children too much. We've all been to these horrible events that we have to bring our kids through. We have to suffer through it. So why can't we take our kids to an event where they have to be disappointed? I think this works all around. Yes. Crush their innocence. Exactly. You know.

And I do have an experience with the Polo Express ride that I paid a lot of money for that didn't match expectations. So the train show? Yes. I paid for that. I was mad as I was sitting in that train. We had already read. I read the book at home. I was like, yeah. My kids were having a good time because I raised them poor. This is stupid. That's what I got from my kids. That's the thing, man.

I'm cutting the, I'm going. Yeah, I would have took my kids to this. They would have had a blast. Like, Daddy, look, Rainbow, go, go, go, run. They would have tore it up. Like, go. Daddy's going to go outside and smoke. Doesn't it look like a really bad art museum?

No, it looks like events that we have to go to. I grew up poor and broke. We went to the fair, and then you went in, and you paid the extra. money to go see the headless cow that was jumping and frolicing in the poker, and it's in a jar. You know what I'm talking about? The two-headed baby, the mermaid thing that clearly was so d'I- like we're just watching all this and it was like they had one.

Yeah. Really huge. But by today's standards, she's not that big anymore, but back in the day, now she'd have to get two jobs. She's got to be the big girl and a bearded lady. It was a guy walking around and said he was the world's strongest man, but I was bigger than him. So I was like, I don't believe this guy, you know, and then you had a guy who was like, they showed, they lift up the curtain and they're like, look, crackhead. Yes, they did.

And unfortunately, Greg stayed around a little too long and went and investigated and saw the crackhead at smoking cigarettes, which then led to why that monologue made so much sense. You got a lot out. That was Greg's childhood in between the stuff, guys, all that stuff that was being said. So I hope that guy got, you know, you can find that crazy man. Yeah, it was the Allentown County Fair Side Show, and they would have a guy who is this is what happens when you're on drugs, and I caught him on a smoke break, and he was absolutely normal. Could you ask for a refund? Yes. It was $2.50. Jamie, you're used to disappointing children. Yeah. Mm-hmm. I think you made a great point that kind of got missed a moment ago, that they could have just pretended this was a modern art exhibit. Yes. Right? Because you can't mock art. Art. You would just have to go like, oh. They should have changed it and I'm with everyone else on the panel so far. I don't mind this at all because I judge every

experience with my children as like how long is this going to take? Do you know what I mean? Like if we walk in somewhere and they go I love it here. I'm like oh no It's going to be ours. This we're talking like a minute or less. We're going to be in and out and I would have just claimed if I was in charge of this I would have been like no no this is based on the Willy Wonka movie. Yes, they're Tim Burton won. They should have changed it the the movie and said, no, this is some other movie. Or they could have said, like, this is a medical exhibit. You're inside a giant stomach. That's starving. I disagree with everyone. I'm on these parents' side. First of all, this happened in Scotland. So if you, like, grow up in a culture, we have to put on a plaid skirt and stockings just to play

your instrument. I feel like you might be a little sensitive to people not committing to the bit. Thank you. Thank you. And then also, speaking of Twitter, I saw this video on Twitter that change my mind. I think we have it. Can we pull this up? This is unbelievable. What is that? It's the end of. What is that? It's the end of. Makes chocolate and lives in the walls. Okay? So I see that and I realize these people weren't just disappointed. They might have actually

thought they were going to die. Yeah. Like you buy something to a holographic experience. You're in this empty warehouse with like this thing that's coming out. Lunging at your children. You're not going to, I mean, this is, like, that was unnecessary. This should, they should turn this into, like, you know, what, a movie that's so bad, it's good. Yeah. They need it worse. They, this could be a hit.

The worst traveling show ever. I believe the working actor described it as this is where dreams go to die. Yeah. All right, we got to move on. Coming up, he thought estrogen would do the trick to steal his buddy's chick. We're at a time. Thanks to Jamie LaSalle. I love you, America.

Listen ad-free with a Fox News podcast plus subscription on Apple Podcasts. And Amazon Prime members can listen to this show ad-free on the Amazon Music app. I'm Janisteen. Join me every Sunday as I focus on stories of hope and people who are truly rays of sunshine in their community and across the world. Listen and follow now. at foxnewspodcast.com