Gutfeld! Monologues - A Story In Five Words: Climate Change & More Home Runs
Episode Date: April 12, 2023As seen on Gutfeld!, Host of The Sideline Sanity Podcast, Michele Tafoya, Comedian, Joe Machi, Host of The Wise Men podcast, Tyrus and FOX News Contributor, Kat Timpf discuss leaked FBI documents... that associate common internet terms with “violent extremism.” Later, the panel weighs in on claims that MLB games are being significantly impacted by climate change. Follow Greg on Twitter: @GregGutfeld Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Let's welcome tonight's guests.
He's heard more booze than a haunted house on Halloween.
Come in, Joe Mackie.
She used to interview naked athletes,
which means we have a lot in common.
Most of the sideline sanity podcast, Michelle Tafoya.
She's like a bowling alley, extremely loud and popular with old men.
Yeah.
Fox News contributor Kat Tim.
And he uses the Statue of Liberty as a backscratcher.
My massive sight to get the NWA World Heavyweight Champion, Tyrus.
You know, Joe, I wouldn't say you were an in-cell, but I think the in-cell kind of group has embraced you as a leader.
So it's not necessarily your fault, but they look up to you for guidance, and they're just waiting for you to say the word on what they need to do next.
Greg, not only am I not an insult, an in-cell.
Yes.
I've been called a stud more times than secretariat, okay?
But I'm not an extremist unless you're talking about my love of the band Extreme.
One thing that didn't make the monologue, though, Greg, is that the FBI's also been going into Catholic churches and, you know, trying to look for extremists there.
And I actually think this is a good thing. Maybe they could pay attention while they're there, learn something.
Maybe go to confession for violating the First and Fourth Amendments.
And then they can catch the real extremists that are attacking the churches.
Yes.
Good point.
All right, Michelle, I'll play devil's advocate, even though I am definitely not pro-Satain.
Devil's Advocate is a phrase.
Yes.
Just want to be clear.
What if this is just part of a greater focus on grabbing terrorists, that it's just part of something.
It's not really like going after normal people.
It's just like one little variable.
I thought about that too, Greg, but then I thought some more.
Oh, good.
You know the old thing about the frog in the boiling water?
So if you take a frog and you throw it in boiling water, it will immediately jump out because it senses danger.
But if you throw a frog into a pot of tepid water and slowly turn up the heat, it won't notice the disintegration of its surroundings.
And you just keep turning up.
you boil it, and it's dead.
We are the frog, Greg.
We are the frog.
This country is the frog.
I'm sorry, we're the frog.
Is that why you're wearing green today?
That's why I'm wearing green?
It's the last time I can be a live frog.
Cutlow does this all the time at his house in the Hamptons.
Before I know it, I'm like on fire.
Oh, God.
Kills a lot of germs.
So the point is, is that little by little, they want to undercut language.
They want to attack you for using certain words.
they also want to tack words like radical onto the Catholic religion
or what they're calling it radical Catholicism or something.
Yeah.
So they're taking, they're erasing, we don't know what a woman is,
we have these pronouns being all shifted around us,
we are slowly being boiled to a crisp as a society,
and it's through the use of getting rid of language
and then forcing other language on us.
But I agree with you, hell, don't use those certain terms.
Otherwise, it's a pretext for what do they do next to you?
Exactly.
What do they do next?
I don't know.
Suddenly, I'm just really hungry.
You know, Kat, what are the odds that a guy in the FBI would end up basically, you know, going after another person who turns out to be in the FBI?
It seems like everybody's an informant, at least on January 6th, I think there were like 40 of them there.
Yeah, and I mean, the in-cell thing, right?
There's plenty of in cells out there that have disgusting views.
But just because you have disgusting views doesn't mean you're going to do a terrorism.
Like sometimes you're not violent or some of these guys, like there's no way they have gas money.
Yeah.
Like they're just always in my Instagram comments being like, have a baby before you dry up.
And yeah, but it's like, okay.
Like thanks for the tip, you know.
But that doesn't equal.
I don't think that they're actually that concerned about this.
It's an excuse on behalf of the FBI to snoop, not because the FBI is concerned,
but because it's an excuse to snoop.
And actually it doesn't make it a difference in terms of safety,
except maybe it goes against our safety because if they have are just this flood of things,
they have to look at anyone who ever used any of these words,
even sarcastically or even in another way, as you pointed out,
they're not going to be able to focus or maybe even see the things that are actual threats.
Don't you feel kind of weird about we're in a place talking bad about the FBI?
because we're at similar age as early 40s.
I mean, the FBI was like a cool thing.
So we're teachers.
I think, well, they still are.
And we need to understand that.
It's just that the new regime in is not.
And what we're happening is, and Kat is right.
If you are a Chad, first of all, as a slayer of many in my day,
I never needed an abbreviation.
I knew what I was.
My boys knew what I was
And I didn't need to give abbreviations
These are they're changing the language
So that they can justify their violence
So we see it all the time
Oh when you don't recognize my pronouns
That's violence against me
No no no they're trying to turn
Sticks and Stones will break my bones
Names will ever hurt me to names hurt me
So I can use sticks and stones
So they're taking our language
And saying that what
Everyday normal people say or do
is offensive, dangerous, racist, and violent.
So when they participate acts of violence on us, it's justified.
Like we saw with the swimmer.
She was using her words, and she was chased and attacked and threatened.
And guess what?
They were the victims.
Right.
Because they were responding to her verbal violence.
So they take words that make zero sense.
I'm telling you right now,
Joe and I, when we were hanging and banging the gym this morning,
we never once said, never once said,
Hey, I said to you, hey, Chad, how's your larping going?
He would have slapped me and said, no talking during sets, Tyrus.
We don't use that kind of language.
So, unfortunately, our real men and women in the FBI were trying to do their job,
just like our teachers, get overshadowed by the ones who are part of this agenda
and spend their time on TikTok and look to go after everyday people.
All right, don't go anywhere. We'll be right back.
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A story in five words.
Climate change, more home runs.
Michelle, a study claims climate change is causing 60 more home runs in major league baseball per year due to the warmer air.
Isn't that great?
Because home runs are awesome.
Don't they say chicks dig the long ball?
Yeah.
So you know what?
Not only is this a climate change crisis, it's misogynistic because chicks dig the
long ball. And you know what else I think it is? Home run hitters are white supremacists as
well. So I think there's a lot of woke ideology at work behind this increase in home runs.
I didn't know chicks were into the long ball. You didn't? No. It makes me feel better when I go to
the beach. Joe? Joe, is it without these climate people always pick one variable and they leave
out everything else? It's like, oh yes, it's climate. Definitely not steroids. Yeah, I'm
I'm surprised that baseball didn't think of it first because they're always trying to say it's not the steroids causing the home runs.
Like, it's climate change that's causing the home runs and the acne on my back right now.
The crazy thing about this whole climate change, I think it's kind of a hoax.
Because when they say that they want to limit the warming to 1.5 degrees, that's not from today.
That's from the 1870s after the little ice age.
What they're talking about now is really a 0.4 degree difference from now,
which means they're trying to get us to worry about a 0.4 degree difference with baseball.
I'm falling asleep right now right after this story.
Tyrus, I'm beginning to think there are more positive outcomes from warmer weather,
including death, I mean, death reduction.
Okay, I'm just going to just please punch the brakes.
Morons, they're stupid.
Climate always affects the baseball games.
If the wind's blowing out, the ball's going to carry more.
If it's blowing in, it's going to do this and that.
It's stupid.
If it's cold out, it's harder for the ball to get.
There's always been weather in games.
And guess what?
When it rains, they don't play.
Because the water slows the ball down.
Yeah, home runs are up or so, or strikeouts.
EAREs are down.
Last year was considered the year of the pitcher
because players, anyone who's a Yankees fan,
know you hit 30 home runs, but you bat at 220.
It's not better.
So you got a lot of one-run long balls
and you still end up getting murdered by the Indians
of the playoffs. Oh, I'm sorry.
Guardians, cancel me. Don't care.
So this stupid moronic
climate has always been a part
of baseball. It's called weather.
Last word.
Kat, you begged us to do this story
because you love climate and baseball.
That's not true. I can't talk about this
at a time like this
when a man in Oakland County is missing
issues.
It's true.
Valued at $150.
They've been missing since March 31st.
And I don't know if the police, yeah, they don't have any leads yet, but they're still
investigating.
You can do it.
They went missing near Coolidge.
You can do it.
County in Troy, Michigan, which is a suburb, an affluent suburb of Detroit, Michigan.
Oh, I'm good.
I'm good.
No, you just did breaking news.
Michelle Tovoya, Joe Maggie, Tim, Tyrus, studio audience.
Foxx is a night with 30, California, thanks, I've got.
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