Gutfeld! Monologues - A Way With Words

Episode Date: May 31, 2025

As seen on Gutfeld!, Greg calls out the Democrats for using fancy words as a way to mask the stupidity of their ideas . Plus, Greg contrasts Democrats to Trump, who uses plain language to express his smart ideas. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Tucker Carlson said Ray Dalio is one of the world's smartest investors, but more important, he's likely the wisest. Make yourself read this book. That book is how countries go broke, the big cycle. In it, Dalio explains the mechanics behind big debt cycles, and what they mean for countries with big and increasing debts like the U.S. and what you should do to protect yourself. You can find it wherever books are sold,

or read a five-minute summary of the book at economic principles.org. Thank you. Yeah. Thank you. All right. Thank you. It's an honor to see me. It's Friday, so you know what that means?

Let's welcome tonight's guest. She's a Jew from Toronto, which means she can't eat Canadian bacon. Human rights lawyer, Brooke Goldstein. He's our second favorite Benz after Deep Knee. Former State Department official and executive director of the Foundation for Freedom Online, Mike Ben. She builds her biceps by lifting her swear jar. Outnumbered co-host. Emily Capano.

And finally, old ladies consider his arms weapons of mass seduction. All right. Before we get to some news stories, let's do this. Greg's leftovers. Mmm. It's leftovers. Where I read the jokes that we didn't use this week, and as always, it's my first time. reading them. So if they suck, we'll slather Joe Mackey and baby oil and send him to

P. Diddy's prison cell. Yesterday, Cash Patel did an interview with our very own Brett Bear. It's actually a promo for his new movie, Honey, I Shrunk the FBI Director. Check the chair before you do the interview. Oh, my goodness. I hope they're giving him solid food. A highly infectious new COVID strain from China has spread to the U.S. To prevent massive death, people are advised to ignore Anthony Fauci. Oh, you like this one.

Director Spike Lee cheered on the New York Knicks last night. Looking like what happens if Willie Wonka. were to run a concentration camp. No one's waiting for her to laugh. Michael Strayan said that while growing up, his parents ate his pet pig, which means Malia and Sasha Obama may finally find out what happened

to their pet cocker spaniel. Their dad ate dogs. Podcaster Sam Harris said he'd rather have a president in a coma than Donald Trump. Joe Biden was touched by this endorsement. Well, you know, Sunday is June 1st, which means it's the first day of Pride Month. Yes, yes. And seriously, I can't wait for July so I can go back to having sex with women. Massachusetts state senator Cynthia Cream.

has introduced a bill that would limit the number of miles that you can drive in your own car. It's part of a bigger plan to keep people from fleeing Cynthia Cream. With a name like that, Major League Baseball is now investing in a women's pro softball league. But hey, if I wanted to see lesbians get to second base, I'd hang out at the parking lot at Home Depot. Karate Kid Legend opens in theaters today and it features the original karate kid, Daniel LaRuso,

which means he now needs to take Cialis, Cialis, when he needs to wax off. Democrats are spending $20 million to study how to talk. talk to American men, I could have saved them the money. Sidney Sweeney is now selling bars of soap made out of her own bathwater, which means now teenage boys will start swearing on purpose. World-renowned psychics are predicting an apocalyptic end to 2025.

We can only hope it's before Kill Me, writes another book. In Wisconsin, sheriff's deputies used a steam shovel to capture an escaped pig. And it was returned in time to start the show. At this point, I could just make an animal reference and say the view. According to a new poll, one third of Americans deal, with bloating, constipation, and massive diarrhea. The remaining two-thirds don't watch Jimmy Failure's show. It's funny because it's true.

According to a new study, every 42 seconds, a U.S. couple ends their marriage. Wow, some people have all the luck, said one man. Bonnie Blue, the porn star, known for sleeping with over 1,000 men, in 12 hours was seen quickly leaving a soccer game. She left when she found out there were only 11 men per team. Oh, that one was bad. A transgender TikToker says she no longer feels safe at Disney World after a restaurant server called him, sir. Well, welcome to my world, said one man.

And finally, Dolly Parton's Dolly Wood. earned the title of favorite theme park in the country. Visitors praised the rides, the food, and the enormous tits. I apologize. To all of you with big tits. We'll be back with more Gutfeld. Prime delivery is fast. How fast are we talking?

We're talking puzzle toys and look pad delivered so fast you can get this puppy under control. Fast. We're talking chew. toys at your door without really waiting fast. P-pads, cooling mat and peckhammer, fast and those training T-R-E-A-T-S faster than you can say sit-fast. And now we can all relax and order these matching hoodies to get cozy and cute, fast. Fast free delivery. It's on Prime. Now remember when we said Dems are obsessed with words and not deeds? Well, it turns out they can't even get the words right. As the Washington Post notes, several Dems are calling out the party for

being too reliant on deliberately confusing jargon, the kind of fancy talk that makes everything more complicated than it needs to be. Much like the scarves worn by Mr. Furley. They simply distract and camouflage what's less appealing beneath the surface. They do it to show off, but also to confuse. And they expect you not to admit you're confused because then you'll be seen as stupid. And boy does this work on libs who rely so heavily on social status and acceptance from the in-crowd. Words like social equity, gender-affirming care, and reproductive justice, they're designed to sound smart and get nods of approval from other know-at-alls while covering up the idiotic ideas behind them. As Kentucky Democratic Governor Andy Bashir said, Democrats speak like

professors and started using advocacy speak that was meant to reduce stigma, but also remove the meaning and emotion behind words. It makes Democrats or candidates using this speech sound like they're not normal. So you get that. The speech makes them sound not normal. But how can you sound normal if the ideas at their root are abnormal? So what if they replace the obtuse language with real words? Then you'd end up in a worse place, revealing truly terrible ideas for everyone to see.

The reason you needed the flowery language around identity, politics, social justice, and gender ideology is because those ideas are so unbelievably fucking. which is why the left focuses only on the how and not the what of the beliefs that contaminate their party, right, Petey? There's a condescension that is imputed to Democrats that I think we really need to deal with. So much of politics is not just how you make people feel, how you make people feel about themselves. And so much of what they think of you comes down to what they think you think of them. And largely because of our very justified horror at the abuses of Donald Trump as a candidate and as a president, we've said and done things that make voters feel like we're

talking about them when we're talking about him. Well, he said nothing. But he's right on one thing, snobbery, but take that away, what's left? Seriously, is there a non-patronizing way of pushing the same ideas? Please tell me the humble way of telling me you're going to let dudes crush girls in sports. Please respectfully convince us that DEI works and punishing criminals doesn't, or that kids should have their puberty blocked, or that Kamala wasn't as dumb as plant soil. It doesn't work, because like Joe Biden, their ideas can't stand on their own. It's not just the messaging. It's the message and the messengers and both suck. Why did Trump succeed? People say he spoke with the vocabulary of a sixth grader. True. Because his

ideas were solid. You can't get more bare bones than this. We're going to build a wall. Sleepy Joe, the worst president in history. There are only two genders, male and female. Drill, baby drill. Make America. great again. No, get those lights off. Off. Turn off the lights. Turn off the lights. Tomorrow, oh, I'm going to come.

See, good ideas don't need fancy language. Work hard. Don't spend money you don't have. Take care of your family and community and never turn your problems into someone else's. And always, always delete your browser history. Smart people say complicated things simply. Eric and people say dumb things in a complicated way. And morons say things like,

You're watching CNN. So when you hear terminology straight from the faculty lounge at Harvard, you know the ideas are as deadly as Jerry Nadler's seat cushion. So I really don't know how the Dems survive once they kill off their rhetoric. Because once they take away the loony language of envy, power, and grievance, What's left? It might be nothing or perhaps something worse. All right.

Listen ad-free with a Fox News podcast plus subscription on Apple Podcasts. And Amazon Prime members can listen to this show ad-free on the Amazon music app. This is Jimmy Phala, inviting you to join me for Fox Across America, where we'll discuss every single one of the Democrats' dumb ideas. Just kidding. It's only a three-hour show. Listen live at noon Eastern or get the podcast at Fox Across America.com.