Gutfeld! Monologues - A Whistleblower Flaps His Lips Over Alien Ships

Episode Date: June 8, 2023

As seen on, Gutfeld!, former GOP Nominee for Governor of Michigan, Tudor Dixon, Host of FOX Across America, Jimmy Failla, Comedian Joe Machi, and FOX News Contributor, Kat Timpf, discuss an Air Force Veteran's claim that the U.S. military has alien spaceships in their possession. Later, the panel weighs in on workers who were fired for fending off store robbers. Follow Greg on Twitter: @GutfeldFox Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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A welcome at tonight's guest, Michigan still remembers her as the one that got away. Former Michigan GOP candidate for Governor Tudor Dixon. And just don't ask him where that finger has been. Oh, now you don't put up your finger. Oh, it's there. It's coming. Host of Fox Across America, Jimmy Phila. His act comes with a warning may cause drowsiness.

Comedian Joe Mackey. And like a warm summer evening, she attracts bugs. Fox just contributor, Kat Tiff. All right, here we go. So here we go again about the little green men. Air Force vet David Grush is blowing the whistle on a top secret UFO program that the military is supposedly running. He worked for the National Geospatial Intelligence Agency, or Zbuck. And says the government is hiding stuff from us regarding unidentified flying objects, which are now called unidentified aerial phenomena.

Apparently this info is so top secret. President Biden has offered to hide it in the garage next to his Corvette. Grush claims they have an entire program dedicated to recovering alien spacecrafts that have crashed landed. And by reverse engineering their technology, they've been able to maintain Nancy Pelosi's face. I honestly didn't see that one coming. Here's Grush. These are retrieving non-human origin technical vehicles, you know, call it spacecraft, if you will. It's probably not the right parlance, but no kidding, non-human, exotic origin, vehicles that have either landed or crashed. We have spacecraft from another species. We do, yeah.

Spicecraft? I can get into that. Oh, yeah, all the spices flying around. going on your food. But like a clean restroom stall at the view, is it too good to be true? No pictures or videos of the recovered spacecrafts have been released and he has very little first-hand knowledge of this.

But hey, if they could kill JFK and cover it up, why would they tell us about space aliens? Thank you for that. Still, he alleges the government has even recovered alien bodies. Do we have bodies? Do we have species of... Well, naturally, when you recover something that's either landed or crashed, sometimes you encounter dead pilots. And believe it or not, as fantastical as that sounds, it's true. And according to President Biden, their hair smells fantastic.

Tudor, I must ask you, is your dress made out of the skins of little green men? I think we'd have a lot more technology made out of the skin of little green men if this guy were telling the truth. But I've never seen an interview where I thought more, this guy just wants to be famous. Let me ask you, in an intelligence agency, when someone has such top secret information that none of us have ever heard about it for years. years and years that these two guys that are involved were like, hey, dude, you're not cleared for this. But you're going to be the one. I know you're going to keep the secret. And then he's like, but I had to tell. So I went out and I told and were there bodies? Yeah, there's bodies. There are not bodies. There's no space. We would be far advanced of what we are right now

if these spaceships actually, if these spice crafts were in existence. It's true. It's true. If there was some advanced technology, we wouldn't take forever to come up with advanced technology it would just be there like plastic cat people the reason why this keeps coming around though people want it to be true yeah because it's exciting and and if it is true then it is the biggest story in the history of the world maybe it is true and the reason they're not here they don't talk to us is because they're all mad at me what that's what I thought when I read it what do you think it is what did you think you did to them I don't know it's Sometimes I don't do anything.

Sometimes it's just me being myself, people can't handle the realness. Sorry, I'm just kidding. I didn't mean that. Yeah, and also, like, intimate secrets. No one's telling intimate secrets to that guy. No offense. You know what's funny, though? He had, like, everybody, whenever they do this, you get this other voices of people that go,

he's reputable, or he's a stand-up guy, blah, blah, blah. But then you see the person you go, I don't, no. Don't tell your secrets to a man. because everyone, no, you're laughing because it's true. Everyone thinks that women are the biggest gossips. It's not. It's the guys. The guys always want to hear all the tea to make themselves more interesting. Interesting, huh?

Yeah. I don't know. Yeah, he's laughing because he knows it's true. He's the first one to come in and be like, tell me what's going on. Yeah, exactly. You don't wear that jacket. I think guys are pretty good at keeping secrets. Has anyone here seen the client list at Epstein Island yet?

That's true. And those hookers talk. Would you, would you, I don't know, be interested in this story as a, as a, is it, does you find this persuasive? Try to keep it mildly racist. I don't find him. I don't find him persuasive. But I will say this. Like, in the time I spent driving a cab, I've met people from other planets, a thousand percent.

I told you, it was going to go. Gee, I said, keep it mildly racist. You thought I was joking. No, that wasn't racist. I've met people in my tactic that you're like, no way. The crazy part of the story is if the aliens are real, Eric Adams wants them to live in your apartment for $125 a month. There you go.

Stupid. But listen, this is the thing. The government lies to us about a lot of things. That's why it's hard. Like, I don't believe him. I didn't watch him and go, this guy's got the goods. But they lied about weapons of mass destruction. They lied about the vaccine stopping transmission.

they lied about Biden being alive. I don't believe that's true. You know, so it's like it could happen, but I don't believe they can keep the secret. I really don't, honestly. Yeah, that's the thing. I don't think you can keep this secret in there. But at the same time, you're right.

They've lied about everything. Joe, do you think aliens would enjoy your style of comedy? They're probably intelligent, so yes. Nice. I'll tell you what, if this is true Independence Day is two for three, they're right about Area 51, right about crashed alien spaceships, wrong about Will Smith being a tough guy. But I think if this is true, you know, it's not like the greatest idea that we're like trying to reverse engineer the alien spaceship. So we have our own spaceships capable of crashing.

Sounds like a trap, Greg. It does sound like a trap. There's so many other things to reverse engineer that would be interesting, like a turtle. I don't feel the need for speed. Yes, it's a turtle. I don't know. It just seems like, you know, if you're going to reverse engineer, there's plenty of other things out there. It'd be nice to have a shell.

Yeah, it would. That's what I'm saying. It's like I would, like we reverse engineer a turtle. I can be really well protected. I can sleep anywhere. No way. If you add a turtle shell, you couldn't see all my curves. I'm going to move on now.

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Lulu Lemon CEO, doubling down on firing two workers who tried to stop a robbery at their Georgia's store. Evidently, he's pro-robbery, which is why they charge $140 for yoga pants. You remember two women confronted some masked shoplifters stealing merch? The suspects were eventually arrested, charged with stealing really dumb stuff. But the ladies were canned for violating the policy on physically engaging suspects. And here I thought it was only the cops that aren't allowed to chase criminals. So these ladies are out of work just for being loyal to their company. But the CEO says the policy is there to keep employees and customers safe.

And hey, I bet it's only merchandise. It's only merchandise. At the end, they're trained to step back, let the theft occur, know that there's technology, and there's cameras, and we're working with law enforcement. I get it. It's not worth getting shot over a pair of overpriced low-rise leggings. I don't care how good they make my butt look. Yeah. Huh? You didn't know because I'm always sitting. But now you know. But it raises the question, if it's only merch, why can't we all steal them? Seems like the only suckers these days are people who still pay for this crap. Why not just hand out yoga pants at bus stops and street corners?

Fact is, the no consequences for thie has hit a dead and ugly end. And I'm sorry to say, prison might be the only part of prison reform that, still works. That's just where you clap. All right. Yeah, Jimmy, you don't own anything worth stealing. Stop it. So is it hard to relate? Stop it. I love, do you know about this story that they call their employees educators? Oh, really? Which is the most pretentious I've ever heard in my life. They're called educators. They're not employees. The CEO refers to them as educators. Be honest, if you're educating people, do they pay $140 for pants? No. Like, I'm happy. They're not. Thank you, one guy. If you could just move around the room a little bit. I love that you got that one. No, it's the whole pretentious aspect of this is what?

You can't call the cops on them because society put them in this position, and it's more dangerous to bring the cops into a shoplifting situation because they represent a bad element. This is part of their whole ethos with the sign on the front of the store, which is the dumbest thing in the world. Like when the store like Lula Lemon is like in this store, we don't tolerate racism, bigotry, homophobia. Like they post that. But they know, but they post that as if there's a store next to it that's like, oh, we do. Come on down. I got your bigotry right here, baby. That's such a good point. And meanwhile, they put their workers in jeopardy because they can't be protected by these mobs coming in. Yeah. I don't get, I know. You know, Joe,

I got to point out, you look great when you wear Lulu Lemon. It's just weird that you wear them in the shower. It's way weird that you're at my shower. It's a kinky. That's hot. I just know when you work out. You know, this don't try to be a hero thing. It must be hard for someone like you. Look, Greg, heroes don't ask questions. That's why when I've broken up so many knife fights, they turn out to be dance teams rehearsing for West Side Story. But I'll tell you what, I object to the characterization as the employees putting people in danger by saying, hey, don't steal stuff. It's the criminals that are putting people in danger

by stealing stuff in the first place and the politicians that are just letting it go and letting them out of jail without a punishment. Yeah. Hang them high. That's what I say. Kill them all. Catch it. It's something some maniac might say. Where do you stand or sick, pensively?

Well, I'm so glad you asked. I actually, I get, I understand the policy because if you go and chase after somebody who is doing crimes, then they might hurt you. Like they said they could kill you, but they could also hurt you. And then I'm not a lawyer, but couldn't you get like workman's comp for that? Right. There you go. No, she's right. She's not a lawyer.

Sometimes it's about the money. They're like, we care about our employees so much. It's probably they care about not having to pay for a slashed employee. And they don't want to get sued either. By the, I mean, by the way, isn't he arguing against having a store at all? Like if you're saying, you know, like, okay, if you're an employee, if you're an employee, you do have to have some pride in where you go to work. And so if you sit, if you're standing there and you've got your folded, whatever,

leggings, and somebody comes to this, it's like, why are you even there? But they're also making an excuse for all of this crime. He's saying this is okay. He's not punching back at why don't we have police here. We clearly have a lot of thefts. This is happening. Now, I agree. I understand the policy because it's mostly women. They're probably not armed. You can't really shoot people that walk into a storm. Oh, you're saying they're weaker than men. I get it. We have, there are differences. Whoa. She said it not me. There are. Hey, whoa, who let J.K. Rowling into the show. Holy hell. Look, the policy is good from the standpoint of you have to keep your employees safe and you should care about them. But, I mean, do we have like a three-strike policy?

Could we just not say the first time? I mean, maybe you had that instinct to yell, don't steal our stuff? I think that's okay. I think that's acceptable. But no, it's a no, you don't get any second chances at Lulu Lemon just so in case you're planning on working there. That's it. One time. You screw up, you're out.

I think that this is their stores will be closed yeah because you can't you can't do this well that's why it's so brilliant that he has that policy because if the stores start closing then he gets fired and when a CEO gets fired ka-ching yes but can i just add one more thing they're stealing yoga pants yoga is the most peaceful activity in the world yeah these people are not a threat to anybody it's like they're stealing pillows what are they going to do beat you up People in yoga pants. Way too many are wearing. Yeah, what is up with you?

Why does everybody at the airport wear Lululemon and the people who wear them shouldn't be wearing it? Yeah, you want to know, that's what it is. They're overconfident because they're walking around with a better ass than they have. Yeah, it's disgusting. They look, they make my ass look good, but my muffin top look much more noticeable. We're out of time. Thanks to Joe Mackie, Tudor Nixon, Jimmy Bail. That's it. Studio out. It's Fox News and $36.000. That's that great good for you. I love you there.

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