Gutfeld! Monologues - Amerigotit

Episode Date: December 9, 2025

As seen on Gutfeld!, SNL does a sketch mocking Pete Hegseth, which Greg says was an unintentional endorsement. Plus, in a recent speech, Biden miserably failed to pronounce America. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Canada's Wonderland is bringing the holiday magic this season with Winterfest on select nights now through January 3rd. Step into a winter wonderland filled with millions of dazzling lights, festive shows, rides, and holiday treats. Plus, Coca-Cola is back with Canada's kindness community, celebrating acts of kindness nationwide with a chance at 100,000 donation for the winning community and a 2026 holiday caravan stop. Learn more at canadaswunderland.com. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Okay. Fine, fine, get it out. I couldn't agree more with your feelings about me. Happy Monday, everyone. So earlier today, nominations for the 83rd annual Golden Globes were announced, and there's already two clear frontrunners. I should check these. Frankenstein received five nominations.

It's a story of a creature created using the body parts of dead people. Evidently, it's based on a true story. New York City has gone 12 days without a single homicide. Yeah. Coincidentally, guess who's been out of town for 12 days? We're not connecting anything here. Scientists have found the bones of a car-sized crocodile that lived 70 million years ago and eight dinosaurs. Meanwhile, other scientists found a crocodile-sized dinosaur that eats cars.

That was a long way for a cheap insult. Jake Tapper corrected a mistake he made, describing the Jan 6 pipe bomber as white when he was clearly black. Insiders say Tapper now must return all those Kwanza gifts he got for Wolf Blitzer. Yesterday was the 84th anniversary of the attack on Pearl Harbor. To commemorate the event, our nation's high schools will teach students to count to 84. Oh, I know. I'm with you. Rosie O'Donnell promised her therapist that she wouldn't trash Trump for two days,

but only lasted a few hours. But thankfully, it still gave the therapist enough time to fake his own death. At Sunday's Chiefs game, Taylor Swift was joined briefly in her VIP suite by actress Lena Dunham, who later returned to the field to play right tackle. Yeah. Unnecessary. I agree. I agree completely with you. And finally, according to a new report, a strap-on vibrating device could be the key to making exercise easier. This from the Sports Institute of Don Lemon.

All right. I don't know what that means either. Your guess is as good as mine. We'll be back with more Gutfeld. Whether it's a pair of running shoes or a new car. You check how well something performs before you buy it. Why should investing be any different? At Fidelity, we get that performance matters most.

With sound financial advice and quality investment products, we're here to help with accelerating your dreams. chat with your advisor or visit fidelity.ca.ca slash performance to learn more. Commission's fees and expenses may apply. Read the funds or ETF's prospectus before investing. Funds and ETFs are not guaranteed. Their values change and past performance may not be repeated. So this week, Saturday Night Live opened their show with the best endorsement

for a secretary of war I've ever seen. We're now at war with Venezuela. All you nerds are like, late, but was there an official declaration of war? Yeah, it's right here. Have you got questions for me? Fine. Pretend I'm a random fishing boat and fire away. Is there any truth to the allegations that after an initial strike on a drug smuggling boat, you ordered a second strike to kill the survivors?

Uh, first of all, that kind of cruel, heartless act has no place in Operation kill everybody. That's pretty good. You got to give them credit. There you have it. They mocked the Secretary of War for being too warlike. What's next? Complain that the Secretary of Health and Human Services has great abs. Oh.

See, S&L's take on Pete isn't an insult, especially if you imagine Pete himself is watching it. He'd watch and say, yeah, that's me. So what? How are you going to make fun of me next by saying my perfect hair makes orphans cry? That's the thing about being an actual badass. Your critics end up becoming your hype team. They're just confirming the brand.

It's like when they call Dick Buttkiss, the dirtiest player in the NFL. There he is. He's like, oh, no wonder no one sent me a birthday card as he punts a quarterback's severed head into the stands. Look, if the worst thing you can say about a secretary of war is that you're a scary dude, fine. I mean, it's the same thing we said about this guy. And considering the previous administration's foreign policy clown car, which had all the potency of a Roomba with a dead battery, and the jokesters gave them a pass as well as their infallid boss.

Speaking of, what is Joe doing in his free time the usual? Someone hope and get back up and remember who in the hell we are. We're the United States of America. What the what the f*** did he just say? I mean, it's not, he can't even say the name of the country he led. I need to see this again. Someone hope, get back up, and remember who in the hell we are. We're the United States of America.

All right. Amerigot it. Could be the teleprompter's fault. There was no space between America and got it. So he just read it like this amazing. unbelievable new word. It's kind of funny, but it's also really scary.

And it raises a question, where was the bold, edgy comedy when Biden's brain had him wandering around like a lost grandpa on the Amazon? I mean, Biden was a gift to S&L, like a Lamborghini, and they treated that gift like he was a pair of socks. So are you telling me with all those

writers they couldn't write a sketch about a senile president that wanders off into the rainforest and mistakes a howler monkey for Janet Yellen? It practically writes itself, like Joe's signature. But now they've got a war secretary whose biggest flaw is too much bad assery. The man's job title literally has the word war in it. He's not the secretary of stern letters.

But they wanted Stuart Smalley, and Trump gave them Hans and Franz instead. But this sketch reveals the pendulum swing of today's politics, that after Dem spent years decriminalizing everything short of cannibalism, handing out sanctuary to criminals like they were running an Airbnb. Eventually, you get a secretary of war whose strongly worded letter comes in the shape of a guided missile. Look, deterrence isn't complicated. Public punishments and public permissiveness are the same concept, just opposite forces. One says, don't even think about it.

And the other says, just do it. Sinking fentanyl boats is a message, but so is giving. criminal aliens 20 chances to re-offend. And you can almost sympathize with the criminals. They used to think America was fine with drug running, but now you're blowing us up. That's not fair. For years, the Dems treated criminality like it was another lifestyle choice. And now we've got a guy who wakes up in the morning thinking, how many narco boats can I vaporize before lunch? And really, there is no harm in bragging about it. In fact, bragging gets the message out. And that message is, no mass, amigos, which is Spanish for

your foote is on fire. And another thing, live from New York, it's Gutfeld. Hey, welcome. Tonight's guess. Listen ad-free with a Fox News podcast plus subscription on Apple Podcasts. And Amazon Prime members can listen to this show, ad-free on the Amazon music app.

This is Ainsley Earhart. Thank you for joining me for the 50, two episode podcast series, The Life of Jesus. A listening experience that will provide hope, comfort, and understanding of the greatest story ever told. Listen and follow now at foxnewspodcasts.com or wherever you listen to podcasts.