Gutfeld! Monologues - Biden's Autopen Scandal

Episode Date: July 16, 2025

As seen on Gutfeld, Greg questions President Biden's claims that he made every decision while President, despite the Autopen controversy. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Chevron Texcores.com for more details. Like Stacey Abrams are calling Trump an autocrat protesting his illegal behavior. Of course, she's doing it while brazenly violating elevator weight limits. But talk about a contrast. Trump's being called an autocrat based on imaginary claims from Democrats, while the left ignores what the Biden White House did in reality. Right now, Joe wants us to convince us that he was behind those part in signed with the auto pen, when even he can't convince us he can put on his own pants.

But the ex-Praise rose from his coffin for 10 minutes with the New York Times and said he granted all pardons orally. Didn't Bill Clinton get impeached for that? Now Biden claims he made every decision, which sounds like the cuck that's holding the camera when his wife's being banged by another guy. Oh, I wanted this. That's a great analogy, and I don't care. But at least the Times didn't take his word for it. They added, Biden did not individually approve each name. He and AIDS confirmed.

And instead, he signed off on the standards used to determine which convicts would qualify. His team then took care of the details and slammed it through with Autopenn, with his chief of staff giving the final go ahead. But you can't use Autopin without the president's consent. And do we really think he was able to give that? He was more out of it than Bill Cosby's dates. Oh, Bill Cosby fans. So what are these standards that they used? Out of the 25 documents Biden signed two granted pardons to thousands,

including criminals, murderers, and child abusers. Those standards were so low. Charles Manson wishes he was alive to qualify. The kids for cash judge sent children to prison in exchange for kickbacks, including one young man who later killed himself. Joe commuted his sentence, probably while watching Transformers 2 and his PJs. One ghoul sexually assaulted and murdered two young girls, then murdered another woman. Biden commuted his sentence too. So how would you feel if your president let your family members kill her off death row?

And how would you feel if it turned out the president's just a drooling vegetable and some unelected bureaucrat actually made that decision. The Times also reports that Biden gave oral decisions at meetings, but the assistants who wrote down Joe's decisions, they weren't in the room when he made them. So you're saying Joe's inner circle wasn't making the calls, and you're telling me we should take the Biden White House's word for it after all the gaslighting they and the media put us through? We're talking about the president who needed to be tased to wake him up from an afternoon nap. I get it. It's true. Other presidents have used auto pen before Obama did. Trump used it. It's usually used for responding to letters,

like when I used mine to answer Geraldo's request for money. So is the autopen, I think, maybe one of the biggest scandals we've had in 50 to 100 years? Right, Mr. P? The autopen, I think, is maybe one of the biggest scandals that we've had in 50 to 100 years. This is a tremendous scandal. And I know the people on the other side of the OSCEA desk, that resolute desk. Unfortunately, he used it before me. I guarantee he knew nothing about what he was signing.

I guarantee it. Yeah, the pardon power is the precedent's most absolute. And Biden abused it like Dr. Jill abused him. So do we just say, well, that was terrible. I hope it never happens again. No, you don't do that with crime. You punish the crime. It's why I've got a lifetime ban from the Planet Fitness.

steam room. I can't be the only one who pees on the sauna rocks. So we need to investigate and cancel everything that Biden wasn't aware of. Biden might have signed off on some horrible crimes, but it would be a worse crime if we did the same. But this veiled process leaves more questions than answers. So we went right to the source. Joining us now is the individual at the center of this scandal, Autopenn. Thanks for being with us, Autopin. My first question, who's telling you what to sign?

Who's telling me what to sign? Oh, the ballpoints on this guy. No one, Greg. How did you get this show? I have broken crayons, I know, funnier than you. Oh, you know, I hear you used to date my sister until she wanted someone bigger, so she switched to a golf pencil.

Wow. I thought maybe you were going to have some actual answers to these questions and not just insult me. Why did you part in so many bad criminals? I wanted to get back at people who keep treating me like some sort of low life, Greg. You know, sucking on me to quit smoking, using me to write third-eye blind lyrics. Rock bottom was when they had me signing Jesse Waters packages from hymns. So now that Biden's out of office, what are you going to? going to be signing now? Mostly bad checks, permission slips, forging life insurance for people

about to get murdered. Just once I'd like to sign, Dolly Parton's boobs. I'd probably run out out of ink, though, if you know what I mean. Well, thank you, Autopenn, for not enlightening us on this scandal. Welcome, Greg. Bye-bye. Listen to ad-free with a Fox News podcast plus subscription on Apple Podcasts. And Amazon Prime members can listen to this show ad-free on the Amazon music app. I'm Janice Dean. Join me every Sunday as I focus on stories of hope and people who are truly rays of sunshine in their community and across the world. Listen and follow now at Fox Newspodcast.com.