Gutfeld! Monologues - Birthright Scam

Episode Date: April 3, 2026

As seen on Gutfeld!, Trump chimes in on the fight over birthright citizenship, which made it to the Supreme Court. Plus, Greg takes apart Ketanji Brown Jackson's absurd analogy to justify birthright citizenship for the children of illegal immigrants. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I get it. Good evening, everyone. So this morning, Pam Bondi was ousted as Attorney General and is no longer the head of the Department of Justice. Sources say Trump wants somebody tougher to execute his plans and everyone else. Wow. But you know she's going to throw the book at him. And it'll be her book.

Wow, they're still scared of her. After the historic launch of Artemis II, NASA says there was a malfunction with the zero gravity toilet. They knew this after one astronaut reported, Houston, we have a floater. New photos obtained by the Daily Mail show Christy notes. You can handle it. You can handle it. Anyway, these photos show Chrissy Nome's husband wearing large prosthetic breasts. In response, one man immediately volunteered to check their authenticity.

See what I did there? It's okay. A spokesman for Chrissy Nome said she's devastated by her husband's cross-dressing double life. She also canceled their upcoming vacation to Dollywood. And adding insult to injury after closer inspection, of the husband's photos, they found 21 illegal aliens hiding in his cleavage. You okay now? All right. A female former NFL ref is suing the league for being fired because of her gender. However, many complaints. She kept penalizing players for things they did four games ago. I don't know, man. This audience.

Loosen up, audience. I think they're angry because Piro's here a day. early. Yes. I didn't come for this. It's Thursday. On Tuesday, President Trump said he's cleaning up the filthy Lincoln Memorial Pool and then blamed the mess on Joe Biden. In Biden's defense, he did call them Lincoln logs.

Poop joke. Wednesday was National Walking Day, but celebrations were sparse given the high likelihood of being run down by Tiger Woods. Oh, American hero. I legend. And finally, in San Francisco Bay, a windsurfer crashed into a surfacing whale. You'll be hearing from my attorney, said the whale. Oh, unnecessary.

Unnecessary. Thank you. All right. We'll be back with more Gutfeld. After 19 years, they're back. Frankie Munis, Brian Cranston, and the rest of the family reunite in Malcolm in the middle, life's still unfair. After 10 years avoiding them, Hal and lowest demand Malcolm be at their anniversary party, pulling him straight back into their chaos. Malcolm in the middle, life's still unfair. A special four-part event, streaming April 10th on Hulu on Disney Plus.

It's thank you. It's time for... We can't believe we're even debating this bull's... So the Supreme Court is debating the legality of birthright citizenship for kids of illegals. But if you spend just one minute in the world of common sense, does an illegal having a baby in your country make it a citizen? Are you nuts? If someone's cat gives birth to kittens on your lawn,

it's not your responsibility to cook and eat them. Just because you're born here ain't enough. Citizenship also requires that you, the parent, to be a participant of this system. And if you're here illegally, then you aren't. And as the press points out, the Constitution wasn't even considering this crap. I mean, the reason was it had to do with the babies of slaves and the protection of the babies of slaves. The reason was it had to do with the babies of slaves and the protection of the babies of slaves.

It didn't have to do with the protection of multi-millionaires and billionaires wanting to have their children get an American citizenship. It is the craziest thing I've ever seen. People are making a big living, getting hundreds of thousands and even millions of dollars from bringing people in and saying, congratulations, your whole family is going to be a citizen of the United States of America. That's not what it was for.

Wow. He says it's the craziest thing he's ever seen. And this from a guy who saw Gary Busey up close. But hey, if Trump says the sky is blue, the left would say he's a, attacking the colorblind. Here's Justice Brown Jackson with an absurd analogy to support birthright for illegals. If I steal someone's wallet in Japan, the Japanese authorities can arrest me and prosecute me. It's allegiance meaning can they control you as a matter of law. I can also

rely on them if my wallet is stolen to. Doesn't that explain why both. temporary residents and undocumented people would have that kind of, quote-unquote, allegiance just by virtue of being in the United States. Man, I need a dumbass whisperer because I really don't understand what she said. First, Justice Jackson, who knew a vacation crime spree was your kink? And what a way to play into the stereotype that black Supreme Court justices shopped. in Japan. I thought we were past that. But it's not her fault. It's ours for expecting logic from someone who can't define a woman. But look, if I wanted to see a clueless broad stink up the court,

I'd watch the WNBA. That woman hates it. WNBA. Wow. Passionate applause there. But it's funny. It's funny that she brings up other countries. They don't allow birthright because in most places, who even tries? Because in most places, who even There's not a buttload of couples from Brentwood trying to squirt out a rug rat in Bangladesh. Millions aren't rushing to Somalia so their baby can have a steady diet of waterbugs and grow up to be a pirate. And you can forget about Japan, which has restrictive laws to keep the rest of the world out. They learned their lesson once with Godzilla.

But this is an illegal question. It's not even a question. It's a scam. Birthright babies are the hall pass for everything that's. their countries don't offer them while still being a citizen of their own. So our country is not a country to them. It's an insurance policy, and we're paying the premiums. Our founding fathers never intended America to be a paternity ward for Somali grifters. It was for enslaved children, not Chinese billionaires. Now, the term American is for anyone whose mom kept her ankles crossed until she crossed the border. And one party insisted on it. Dems learned that legal immigrants in time don't vote for Dems. So they flooded the electorate with people whose votes they can buy like

street cart empanadas. And their go-to strategy, calling us racist for speaking the truth. So common sense was redefined to paint our side as intolerant. You want to secure border? Well, you're a bigot. So they pretend not to understand the problem. They believe that having friends over for dinner and a creep who breaks in to eat your food are the same thing. Now, it would be different if the supporters of birthright citizenship were patriots who demanded assimilation, but to them, America is inherently corrupt and assimilation isn't in the cards. So don't trust their argument. People like Kintanji don't live in the real world where reality speaks for itself

and the incentives driving the behavior are clear as day. No, they live in a world where we must welcome the very people who think anything is better than America and anyone is better than you. Let's welcome tonight's. Yes. Listen ad-free with a Fox News podcast plus subscription on Apple Podcasts. And Amazon Prime members can listen to this show, ad-free on the Amazon Music app.