Gutfeld! Monologues - CNN’s World of Make-Believe

Episode Date: March 12, 2026

As seen on Gutfeld!, Dr. Jill Biden is revealing stories in a new memoir about her time as First Lady.  Meanwhile,  Greg delves into CNN and their land of make-believe and you won’t want to miss what he uncovers! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You guys can stick around. Good evening, everyone. So, Jill Biden is writing a memoir about her years in the White House, while Joe Biden is writing a memoir about his years in the outhouse. Speaking of books, amid criticism of her taxpayer-funded security, Kamala Harris canceled her California book tour, which means now that she's home, Doug has also canceled his nanny tryouts. Nanny tryouts.

Reports say Iran's new Supreme Leader hasn't been seen in days, so they're making due with a cardboard replica. Do not laugh. We did the same thing for four years. Yes. Apparently, replacing the previously deposed Ayatollah as a Supreme Leader will be his impotent son, upsetting his other sons who can get boners. Really?

him? A man is under arrest after crashing his vehicle into a security barrier at the White House. CNN is speculating that the man really hates security barriers. Yesterday an earthquake rattled Westchester County, New York.

Their tremors were so powerful they actually knocked Bill onto Hillary. An app that helps men stop masturbating has exposed the data of its thousands of users. The app is called quitter, and the way it works is you press it and this picture shows up. Uber just announced a new feature that allows women to request a female driver.

The cars come with extra seatbelts and a helmet. More college students are claiming disabilities to get more time on exams. That reminds me the time I faked blindness in art class so I could feel that model's butt. Finally, a 50-year-old kickboxer became the first person in the UK to pull a car using just his testicles. Yeah, he plans to pull a truck once it gets warmer out. We'll be back with more Gutfeld. This is Ainsley-Airheart. Thank you for joining me for the 52 episode podcast series, The Life of Jesus.

A listening experience that will provide hope, comfort, and understanding of the greatest story ever told. Listen and follow now at foxnewspodcasts.com or wherever you listen to podcasts. All right. So this week, CNN once left, once again left the realm of news coverage for the magical land of make-believe. This time waving their flaccid wands over a terror attack, featuring homemade bombed shouts of Allah Akbar and two suspects who say they did it to impress the goat bangers at ISIS. Enough details for the story of the year, you'd think. But not for CNN, they decided that terror and mayhem wasn't the real story. And this was their tweet, quote, two PA teenagers crossed into New York City Saturday morning for what could have been a

normal day enjoying the city during abnormally warm weather. But their lives would drastically change as the pair would be arrested for throwing homemade bombs during an anti-Muslim protest outside of Mayor Mumdani's home. That's not satire, that's CNN, describing terrorism like the opening scene of a John Hughes movie. Call it Ferris Ibrahim's Day Off. CNN was right. Little did they know their lives were about to change because they brought nail bombs. Thank God they didn't go off. Otherwise, a lot more lives would have changed. And CNN would be at the hospital asking victims, hey, how about this weather? But notice the framing, the instinct that says before we tell the public what happened, we have to shape how they feel about it. Like the terrorism

just happened to the terrorist. They were just in the wrong place at the wrong time, accidentally wandering into a protest and his luck would have it. They just happened to be carrying homemade IEDs. What a coincidence. Maybe they're the real victims. And it's not just CNN's BS tweets.

It's their BS anchors, too. Two Republicans say Muslims don't belong here after an attempted terror attack against New York's mayor, Zoram Dani, and the House Speaker, Mike Johnson says nothing, really to condemn those comments. An attack on Mom Donnie.

Abby later apologized saying her wording was inaccurate and she didn't catch it ahead of time. But I get it. She's so busy creating news, she doesn't have time to follow it. But it makes you wonder who exactly is CNN's audience.

It can't be hard for them to figure it out. It's like 31 people. But it's not the bystanders who dodged the Boston Marathon bombing or innocent New Yorkers who'd rather not get blown to bits. And not this guy. who vaulted the protest barriers and chased down one of these mutts after he tossed a bomb at him.

Because somebody in that newsroom decided the story needed a rewrite to help the bomb throwers, making it into an episode of Friends. You know the one where Phoebe's new Muslim boyfriend plays a prank by hiding a pipe bomb in Central Perk? RIP, Ross. Hell, if 9-11 happened today, CNN would describe it as a gorgeous September day, ruined by raining pieces of skyscraper. But journalists don't do this by accident.

So who did they think would buy this? The activists on blue sky who think terror is just a lifestyle choice? The deputy mayor, Brad Lander, who blamed Islamophobia? Maybe a New York mayor who put the whole thing down to white supremacy, then safely enjoyed dinner with a local Hamas booster club.

And this, after defending people, chucking snowballs at cops. Following the blowback, CNN deleted the tweet, saying it breached editorial standards. But CNN saying they have editorial standards is like the Waffle House saying it has a dress code. So here's the bigger story. The old media ecosystem is collapsing

like a presidential palace in Tehran. When CNN was the gatekeeper, no one could challenge the narrative. They wrote the story, Anderson put on his apron and served it to the public. But now we're quickly blowing holes in it like Bud Light cans, stacked in Kid Rock's backyard.

And you can thank Musk for buying Twitter. Remember the old line, a lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is still putting on its boots? Now the lie barely gets out of bed before we put a boot up its ass. Let's welcome. Listen ad-free with a Fox News podcast

plus subscription on Apple Podcasts. And Amazon Prime members can listen to this show ad-free on the Amazon Music app. Getting ready for a game means being ready for anything. Like packing a spare stick. I like to be prepared. That's why I remember, 988, Canada's suicide crisis helpline. It's good to know, just in case.

Anyone can call or text for free confidential support from a train responder anytime. 988 suicide crisis helpline is funded by the government in Canada.