Gutfeld! Monologues - Coke Boat Hoax

Episode Date: December 4, 2025

As seen on Gutfeld! a shocking new book alleges Marilyn Monroe was murdered, and Greg tackles the mysterious “Coke Boat Hoax.” You won’t want to miss this! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Visit unsmoke.ca. thank you and don't forget on your way out help yourself to a free orphan happy Wednesday everyone so a new book claims that legendary actress Marilyn Monroe was actually murdered the author recently came to this conclusion after studying one of the last photos ever taken ever the IRS plans to determine if the IRS plans to determine if only fans whose online creators monetize adult content should be taxed on tips. And since the agency will be reviewing hours of X-rated content, they've already hired hundreds of agents who can type with one hand.

A new study claims that smelling a person's flatulence can help prevent Alzheimer's. But I guess it doesn't work. for everyone. Who did that study? Who pitched the idea? At a recent robotics conference, a new android moved so fluently that people thought there was an actor inside. They were quickly disproven when the robot said something smart about politics. Thank you.

Two dozen hot New York firefighters did a meet and greet for their new calendar. While some reporters asked questions, one journalist purposely got stuck in a nearby tree. Lemon tree.org. No, that was lemonparty.org. I correct myself. Speaking to trees. earlier tonight was the big tree lighting ceremony in Rockefeller Center,

which means by now it probably has been stripped and sold for parts. And finally, Trump supporters are planning a huge MAGA takeover of Disneyland on the same date as the Gay Days celebration. Or as Lindsay Graham calls it, a win-win. It's a good joke. It's a great joke.

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See golden nuggettcasino.com for details. Please play responsibly. All right. So while the Trump administration wipes out drug boats, the media's latest fraud emerges from the depths like a famished Joy Behar chasing a school of mackerel. It's the Coke boat hoax. As you know, the military struck a drug-filled cartel boat

heading to the U.S., then struck it a second time killing the remaining terrorists. For some reason, that second shot was the war. crime, which confuses me. I have to be honest. They're mad that we didn't kill them the first time. It's an odd lesson. It's like saying you can go to an all-you-can-eat buffet, but you can't go back for seconds. Now, the Washington Post is accusing Pete Hexeth of a war crime, claiming he finished off the remaining creeps on purpose. But it shouldn't shock you that the people who brought you Russia Gate were heavy on speculation and light on reality, because even the New York Times

is calling the story fake, saying Pete ordered the strikes, but he didn't say kill survivors. I know. It's the New York Times. I immediately checked to see if the view was booking a trip overseas because apparently pigs do fly. You people.

Here's Pete himself. We've had a bit of a pause because it's hard to find boats to strike right now. which is the entire point, right? Deterrence has to matter, not arrest and hand over and then do it again. So you didn't see any survivors to be clear after that first time? I did not personally see survivors, but I stand because the thing was on fire. It was exploded in fire or smoke.

You can't see anything. You got digital. This is called the fog of war. The fog of war, something the media rarely experiences, unless, well, you count the cloud. Jerry Nadler releases after his morning. Taco Bell. But really, everything they see is through the fog of Trump. Do you believe it amounts to a war crime?

Under the facts, yes. If the facts are, as have been alleged, that's a stone-cold war crime. It's also murder. This is clearly a war crime. Some people are calling a war crime. It's flat-out murder, and anyone that acted on those orders could be held on war crimes. Yeah. So now the view, our experts,

on war crimes. Sorry, the closest these broads have come to war was when they once launched a frontal assault on a cheesecake factory. That was there, Mogadishu. And now that these realize they're down to the last bite on the hoax apple, what do they do?

They become the victim. Mark Kelly says he's getting violent threats after Trump called him out. I hate to say it, pal, but in a country with 370 million people, nearly all on the internet. It's par for the course. Hell, I bet Steve Ducey got more threats than Kelly after he put out his last cookbook. Hell, I get four threats a day and those are just from one X. Now, do you really buy that any of these hacks actually care about who's being killed?

They didn't care about the gangs when they terrorized their cities. When people were murdered, kids trafficked, women thrown in front of trains. They didn't report on the border until their political lives depended on it. And now they care. But as usual, the victims they choose to care about aren't the same as ours. They worry about the terrorists, except now they're no longer terrorists. There is no such thing as a narco-terrorist. People on a boat in the middle of the Caribbean carrying cocaine are not a direct threat to the lives of our service members or Americans. Most NACO traffickers are not in those votes. They pay people to do that. And usually people are not significantly involved with NACO trading. It's the way they make money.

So they're just trying to make a buck. You know, Trump can do anything, including getting a Democrat to come out in favor of capitalism. But that was a good joke. But, well, let's move on. But yeah, they're just trying to make money, you know, the same way human traffickers are really just travel agents for the poor. Which gives us another reason to kill terrorists on the spot. Because we can't trust these idiots to treat them like terrorists if they live. How soon before one of the injured are transported to America and receive free margaritas and a hand job from Chris Van Allen. I mean, look at New York, where roughly 7,000 illegal migrants, including killers, tied to 29

homicides, have been released onto the streets due to sanctuary laws. So if a narco terrorist was sent here, he'd be let go faster than one of my writers who makes eye contact. But they have their bloomers in a bunch for one reason, because Heggseth's fighting America's enemies without excuses or apologies. For decades, we relied on the metaphor known as the War on Drug. But it wasn't a war any more than using a spoon to remove water from a sinking ship is. So Trump thinks, has anyone truly waged a real war on drugs?

Not a bad idea. I mean, they come to this country and kill our people. Seems deserving of war. And why keep fighting the endless influx of drugs when we can just turn their whole operation into a shark feed? Right, Mr. President? These people have killed over 200,000 people actually killed over 200,000. thousand people last year and those numbers are down

those numbers are down and way down and they're down because we're doing these strikes and we're going to start doing those strikes on land too so I guess maybe these Democrats are correct there is no such thing as a narco-terrorist well not for long anyway

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