Gutfeld! Monologues - Congressman Eric Swalwell Has A Short Memory

Episode Date: March 27, 2025

As seen on Gutfeld!, Greg comments on why Congressman Eric Swalwell (D-CA) isn't exactly in a position to make fun of the leaked Signal texts.  Plus, he mocks the Left's overreaction and selective criticism on this issue.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Tucker Carlson said Ray Dalio is one of the world's smartest investors, but more important, he's likely the wisest. Make yourself read this book. That book is how countries go broke, the big cycle. In it, Dalio explains the mechanics behind big debt cycles, and what they mean for countries with big and increasing debts like the U.S. and what you should do to protect yourself. You can find it wherever books are sold,

or read a five-minute summary of the book at economic principles.org. Yes, thank you. Yes. Thank, yes. Thank you. Yeah. All right. All right. Stop it. Happy Wednesday, everyone. Oh, man. Okay. Jasmine Crockett claimed her Hot Wheels remark about Governor Abbott wasn't about his wheelchair. Yeah, and when we call her a lousy hoe, we're referring to her skills as a gardener. Really?

The British media are claiming that J.D. Vance is the most dangerous man in the world, beating out their usual choice, the dentist. A painting of President Trump at the Colorado State Capitol will be taken down after he claimed it was deliberately distorted. Meanwhile, Nancy Pelosi also complained about her portrait. But then the portrait turned out to be a mirror. Democrat Congressman Eric Swalwell is still outraged that a reporter was accidentally included on the signal app conversation between Trump officials.

Yeah, we heard about it from the Chinese spy he banged. We don't forget fart face. Now, the full leaked texts of the group chat have been released, and it turns out Pete Heggseth announced, quote, this is when the bomb will drop. But in his defense, was talking about the release of Snow White. According to the Guardian, there is now a huge demand for beard implants, transplants,

transplants, rather. Well, does anyone want mine? asked one woman. That's funny. Fireball whiskey is offering a chance to win a lifetime supply of their product to people over 90. In a related story, guess who just bought a fake ID? A naked woman was seen running around Dallas Fort Worth Airport yelling, I speak all languages. Well, I could always use a translator, said one man.

And finally, research suggests that exposure to microplastics can increase the risk of diabetes and stroke. So some are already advising against using plastic water bottles, food containers, and sucking face with Nancy Pelosi. Two, two. All right. So imagine you take a date to a steakhouse, but she's a vegetarian. There are cuts of sirloin, rib, I, Kobe, beef, but there's only one option for her. It's cream spinach. So what's you going to eat while you enjoy the tomahawk? Well, she orders the spinach, and that's all she eats. Well, that's the Democrats with the Signal story. See, we're living in the age of glorious red meat. There's nothing at the table for them.

So when the Signal App story broke, it was as though somebody went into the kitchen, found some leftover spinach, threw it on a plate and said, here, you look like you're starving, you're pathetic pieces of crap. So by now you heard this story. A journalist claimed he'd been included in a group chat on the Signal texting app.

So were you shocked without worry? I was shocked and I really, I was without words. Texting war plans, it is something we've never quite seen before. So simple, so easy, so sloppy. Obviously reckless, obviously dangerous. It would be comical if it wasn't so serious and so dangerous. It's in a completely reckless disregard for protocol. The worst, most embarrassing, most dangerous security breach of our lifetime.

I think about all the different ways that people's lives, lives were in danger. It is so stunning and so incompetent and so dangerous. My guess is that this is probably the tip of the iceberg. What should happen here? Should we be saying lock them up? We'll be back with more Gutfeld. Running a business comes with a lot of what-ifs. But luckily, there's a simple answer to them. Shopify. It's the commerce platform behind millions of businesses, including Thrive Cosmetics and Momofuku, and it'll help you with everything you need. From website design and marketing

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You know, every time I watch a montage like that, I always wonder, where were these f*** the last four years? You know, we still don't know who was running the country, but I guarantee they left Sleepy Joe out of those discussions. You know, you're not included on a group chat when you belong in a group home. Thankfully, the mission went off without a hitch, no American casualties, and a bunch of terrorists are currently telling 72 virgins how their dicks got vaporized.

I get it. It's a security breach. The worst misuse of texting since that runaway I flirted with turned out to be Chris Hansen. But this shit happens. This messaging mess was like the aftermath of chugging prune juice on Taco Tuesday. The results are not great, but not surprising either. Since January 20th, so many great things have happened. so fast. The borders

closed. Fugetitists have been caught. Egg and gas prices have plummeted and Rosie O'Donnell moved to Ireland. It's killing the media who hate all of it because Trump's doing it all. They're not used to a president who moves with such speed. They got spoiled

by four years of a man who only left skid marks on his underwear. So now they act like they really are. drama crats, each one elbowing out the other for the spotlight. Meanwhile, we have bigger fish to fry. And when you have real goals, ones you decide to act on, you're going to make some mistakes, whether it's rescuing astronauts in space, running for public office, or delivering a baby at a restaurant because you told your date you were in medical school. Because there are goals and ideals. A goal is what you set out to achieve. The ideal is the path and methods

achieve it. Is your goal to kill terrorists? Great. The ideal is to do it cleanly and decisively. But it's called an ideal because perfection's unattainable. But we accept that risk. That's how winners live their lives. You don't play. You don't win. Getting things done is risky. But you can avoid that risk by doing nothing. And that's not Trump at all. And Americans are okay with it. Right, Harry? I think sometimes it's important to do a little bit of reality check and take a little different spin at the numbers. I'm going to do that right here because all we talk about is how unpopular Donald Trump is.

But in reality, he's basically more popular than he was at any point in term number one and more popular than he was when he won election back in November of 2024. How about NBC News? 44%. That's the highest since 2004. The bottom line is the percentage of Americans

who say we're on the right track is through the roof. Yes. No wonder the media is feasting on the signal story like it's a gazelle carcass at the view. What's left for them when everyone loves Trump's aims? You go after the process. Oh, it's too fast.

It's too sloppy. It's like they're describing my dream date with John Stamos. But now with old Joe, there were thousands of errors Biden didn't make as he presided over one giant deliberate act of negligence. It was all Joe could do

to get out of bed in the morning. If this guy put his shoes on the right feet two days in a row, the legacy media would have orgasms. I wonder if it's something that should have been done by Sleepy Joe Biden. This is something that should have been done by Sleepy Joe Biden, but he was asleep at the wheel other than when it came to stealing money, of course. Amen. Meanwhile, the same outraged media you see now were the very same who covered up Joe's mental decline. Biden was an expert at not doing things. He didn't close the border, which was too much to ask from a guy who refused to do the same thing with his bathrobe.

He didn't reduce crime or inflation. Hell, he increased both. He didn't get creepy men out of women's locker rooms. Instead, he appointed them to high office. Perhaps we were lucky he ignored so many problems. I mean, look at the damage they did while doing absolutely nothing. Can you imagine what the country would look like if they actually tried? Instead of capturing terrorists or deporting gangs, Joe just shrugged his bony shoulders and said,

Well, what can you do? Before collapsing on the beach eight hours a day. So for the next four years, you're going to hear about mistakes because Trump's aims are so dead on. All the angry media has left is processed. But you know better. We dig a leader with great aim who'll take a risk on America's behalf, not a guy whose aim failed the country, but also the toilet. Listen ad-free with a Fox News podcast plus subscription on Apple Podcasts. And Amazon Prime members can listen to this show ad-free on the Amazon music app.

It's Will Tane Country. Watch it live at noon-eastern Monday through Thursday at Fox News.com or on the Fox News YouTube channel. And don't miss the show. Listen and follow the podcast five days a week at Fox News Podcasts.com or wherever you download your favorite podcasts.