Gutfeld! Monologues - Criminals First

Episode Date: March 27, 2026

As seen on Gutfeld!, a Loyola student newspaper apologized for referring to a suspected murderer as an "illegal immigrant." Greg says this is just another example of Democrats prioritizing criminals over victims. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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overwhelming. Good evening, everyone. So today was opening day where millions watched boring people get overpaid for hours of tedious work. Then they changed the channel from Fox and Friends to watch baseball. It's just three hours. It's a long time, three hours. Iran's foreign minister has said that his country will decide how to end the conflict, not the U.S. We reached out for an additional comment, but he was already dead. Hillary Clinton will visit New Hampshire next month for an event, and no one's more excited than the state's local rope salesman. By the way, New Hampshire's state motto is live-free or die,

which explains why she murdered Jeffrey Epstein in prison. That's a joke, lawyers. According to a new report, California's DUI tests actually passed people who were drunk. Don't I know it, said one woman. Pope Leo recently hosted a group of highly trained exorcists at the Vatican, prompting one man to ask for help with a demon he's currently dealing with. But it's true, exorcists are in demand as Satanism is on the rise. and much like Jesus, the exorcists were planning to cast the demons into a herd of pigs,

but they missed their flights. Long way for a view joke. David Simon, the largest shopping mall owner in the country, has passed away at 64. I know. Per his request, his ashes will be sprinkled over an Auntie Anne's pretzel. So good. Aren't they good? Not anymore.

An American Airlines flight out of Charlotte made an emergency landing in Newark. Passengers reportedly screamed in terror when they found out they were in Newark. And finally, Melania Trump welcomed a humanoid robot to the White House

that was built to help with laundry and cleaning. Does it kneel? Asked one man. Real slow there, guys. All right. Serious. We'll be back with more Gutfeld. Getting ready for a game means being ready for anything.

Like packing a spare stick. I like to be prepared. That's why I remember, 9-88, Canada's suicide crisis helpline. It's good to know, just in case. Anyone can call or text for free confidential support from a train responder anytime. 9-88 suicide crisis helpline is funded by the government in Canada. So this weekend, a Chicago college freshman, Sheridan Gorman, was allegedly murdered by an illegal alien from Venezuela.

His name, Jose Medina Medina, cut loose at the border under Biden in 2023. A month later, arrested for shoplifting, released again. He was caught and released so many times he practically had a hook sticking out of his mouth. Now Sheridan's own student newspaper, the Loyola Phoenix, rightfully ran this headline, quote, immigrant man charged in murder of Sheridan Gorman. in this story they called the suspect an illegal immigrant. Way too kind, I say, since legally you can't call them violent piece of a but then right on cue they apologize saying,

we describe the man who was charged as an illegal immigrant. That language does not align with the values of this newspaper. The values of this newspaper, what exactly are those values, to inflate criminal aliens self-esteem and to make sure that you can only accurately describe a crime if the suspect is white. So the real crime was the language, not the murder. They even edited the story to describe Medina as a Rogers Park resident. Like he was Mr. Rogers, of Mr. Rogers' neighborhood.

I guess the Unabomber was a peaceful pen pal. And Lizzie Borden, just a lumberjack. Anything to avoid calling a killer, a killer. To add further insult, Alderwoman and Maria Haddon implied it was the victim's fault for being in the wrong place at the wrong time and that she may have been shot because she startled the killer.

As if walking in public equals waving a pork chop in front of her rabid pit bull. I'm surprised she didn't add, did you see what the girl was wearing? Hadden tried to walk back her idiocy, but it's hard to do any walking in Chicago since you have to dodge all that gunfire. Meanwhile, a four-time previously deported,

deported Honduran illegal alien has been charged with murder after he allegedly shoved an 83-year-old U.S. Air Force vet onto the New York City subway tracks. And this scum also had a lengthy rap sheet. You know the pattern now, criminals first, especially if they're illegal, and victims last. In New York, a trans illegal migrant, which is the royal flush of identity politics. Congratulations. Just served, time served, six months behind bars for raping a team, despite being wanted on robbery, prostitution, weapons charges. Six months.

I'm thinking way too lenient. You know, unless he's spending it hanging upside down getting beaten like a pinata, man, that is less time than you'd get for doing donuts on a rainbow street mural. We see the same attitude among leaders in sanctuary cities. After Gorman was murdered in his city, the Chicago mayor chose to name a snowplow. This moment is finally here. The snowplow with the most votes, most entries abolish ice. Did you reconsider rescheduling this event given the murder of Sheridan Gorman by an undocumented immigrants?

This is a terrible tragedy. I'm going to continue to use. use every single tool that's available to me to protect the residents of the city of Chicago. And this tragedy is not going to deter us from our work. Yeah, maybe a bad time for a little pun, don't you think? But did you guys get the joke? Because, see, a snowplow's function is to get rid of ice. So not only is Brandon an American Haiti douchebag, he's the only black guy on the planet with a

sense of humor. Meanwhile, in Philly, D.A. Larry Krasner threatened ICE agents. This is how it works. You commit crimes within the jurisdiction that is the city and county of Philadelphia. I prosecute you. The president cannot pardon you. And yes, I will put you in handcuffs and I will put you in a courtroom. And if necessary, I will put you in a jail cell. if you decide to make the tarasso floor of this airport, anything like what you did in the streets of Minneapolis. Oh, he's so brave.

He'll threaten anyone, except, of course, criminals. You could throw grandma down the stairs, and he'd give Granny a summons for a noise complaint. But that's a priority, not illegal murderers, but the agents trying to stop them. And if you're a victim, good luck. You know, there's a reason the book's called Crime and Punishment, not crime and you had it coming.

But to these, America is not a system that has delivered tremendous prosperity and liberty to its people. It's something to loot and profit from because we deserved it. But it's time to slam the book shut on the Democrats' fairy tale romance with violent invaders. Because at this point, they're as bad as the scum they protect. Listen ad-free with a Fox News podcast

plus subscription on Apple Podcasts. And Amazon Prime members can listen to this show ad-free on the Amazon Music app. This is Ainsley Earhart. Thank you for joining me for the 52-episode podcast series, The Life of Jesus. A listening experience that will provide hope,

comfort, and understanding of the greatest story ever told. Listen and follow now at foxnewspodcasts.com or wherever you listen to podcasts.