Gutfeld! Monologues - Criminals Prevail As Los Angeles Nixes Cash Bail

Episode Date: October 4, 2023

As seen on Gutfeld!, Comedian, Joe Machi, FOX News Contributor Katie Pavlich, Comedian David Angelo, and FOX News Contributor, Kat Timpf, discuss why some liberal cities refuse to address surges in crime. Later, the panel discusses why some plus-sized activists are now demanding hotels build larger hallways. Follow Greg on Twitter: @GregGutfeld Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Let's welcome to tonight's guests. When one of his audience members bust the gut, it's usually from appendicitis, comedian Joe Mackie. She packs heat while dispensing red meat. Townhole.com editor and fox's contributor, Katie Pavlitz. He looks and sounds like a gram of weed. Comedian and founder of Western Razor Company, David Angelo. And like a proctologist office, old men also wait hours to see her. New York Times bestselling author and Fox News contributor Kat Tim.

When you want to keep crime at bay, but it just won't go away. away. It must be time for, if we can't beat them, join them. Yeah. Yeah, as thugs beat our asses, let's put on rose-colored glasses. After all, no matter how much we complain about crime, our liberal leaders just side with the slime. First up, Democratic Congressman Henry Quela, was carjacked at gunpoint while parking in Washington, D.C. Monday night. Yeah, he found parking. He got his car back a few hours later, but thieves had stolen his sushi out of it, which is, you know, another crime that will go unchallenged. At last check, cops are still looking for the perps that should be easy. My bet, it's the guys they didn't arrest before.

But should they be charged? Carjackings have increased more than 100% since 2022, which means fewer people might be driving. With fewer cars on the road, that means a reduced reliance on fossil fuels. So in a sense, carjackers are climate change heroes. Every person they kill is one less carbon footprint. Greta Thunberg should throw them a kegher. Meanwhile, in L.A., a new zero bail policy for nonviolent offenders is in effect. Of course, this will only incentivize more theft like the smash and grab attacks you see every day.

But why shouldn't more cities adopt cashless bail? Think of the advantages of having criminals among us as opposed to prisons. For one, consider the capital. you burn running from them. You get in some great cardio and get home faster from work. And the constant fear increases your heart rate, so you get an aerobic workout just riding the train. Then in Portland, the Public Safety Commissioner told people

to only call 911 in a life and death emergency or crime in progress. So no more casual calls to 911 to report mere maimings. But I have to agree with him. Fewer 911 calls means more time for dispatchers and first responders to undergo diversity and equity training. That way, they can ask for your pronouns instead of your address. And really, there's nothing worse than finding yourself misgendered on a wanted poster. Finally, that New York professor who threatened a reporter with a machete has avoided jail time. Sheline Rodriguez will instead have to undergo between six and 12 months of behavioral.

modification counseling, which is great news because it will really help her at her new job at Benny Hana. Katie, so I decided, if you can't beat him, join him because, you know, we sit here at Fox and we talk about crime all the time, and it's like the other side of the coin, the Democrats choose to defend criminals because they can't be seen to agree with us. So what have we decided to be pro-crime? It's like I think we should. We should start committing crimes, too.

You could have had that sweater for free. We don't have to worry about it. You just walk into Nordstrom, take it home. No problem. Yeah, you're a sucker. Yeah, we should all do the thing together, you know, go in and just steal a bunch of stuff and leave. But what grinds my gears about the D.C. thing especially is that Washington, D.C. is the nation's capital. If you want to live in California, in L.A. or in New York or whatever, fine.

But this is a place that belongs to all Americans, which is why it was great in 2020 when President Trump brought the National Guard in to stop the rioting and burning of the city. people should be able to do that. But they continue to defend criminals. It's like they have a Venn diagram, like, you know, the vice president. And they look at what is, you know, what's opposed. So, like, can't agree with Trump or Republicans, violent crime. Those things can't mix.

So therefore, it just stays the same. And to them, it's worse to identify on behalf of law and order than it would be to just lock up these guys who are now carjacking Democrats in Washington, D.C. So they make this weird choice. Yeah, even when the hell comes. to their house. They're like, oh. They're still defiant about it because there's too much of a sunk cost in hating Republicans in Trump. Let me guess, David, you're not that bothered by this issue. It's just crime. You know, I haven't been paying attention to the holes.

You're right. You know, the crime thing, why is it criminals are like such a powerful voting block now? Right. You know what I mean? Like everything, people are bending over backwards to help criminals. Yeah. I can't get anything. You know, I've never asked for anything from the government. And then, you know, the government, they're sitting around, hey, we've got to do something. Let's make murder a misdemeanor. Who was asking for that? Yeah. I don't know. I just, I think what we got to do is to try to at least teach these people in the streets, whoever, the criminals, give them marksmanship classes. Because you hear too much about the bystanders, the innocent bystanders. Oh, that interesting point. You know,

teach him how to shoot. And then just at least they'll hit the person they're trying to kill. You are a man of solutions. That is the worst idea I've ever heard. Somehow, I think you just came up with that on the spot, didn't you? Yeah, you'd be surprised at how little prep went into that. I'm not surprised at all. I'm here with stacks of paper.

He walks in in a cart again and he's half asleep. Kat, what are you about all of these things that we mentioned? Which one strikes your fancy or outrage? Well, I'm just, okay, so what is behavioral modification counseling? Mm-hmm. Isn't that just therapy? Yes. That's why I go.

I'm like, you know, we could do better. Yeah, I mean, what would it be? It's like, don't wave machete. Well, that's literally what therapy is. It's how to modify your behavior. Mm-hmm. And, okay, going back to your brilliant point, David. Actually, people were asking for criminal justice reform. I was one of those people.

There were certain concerns, like nonviolent drug crimes, people going to jail for that. There was people expressing that. And so DC is like, okay, so what you're saying is, the jury's still out on the carjacking debate. Yeah. No. Nobody was saying that, and they're bungling the whole thing for everybody. Because I really think that we can all agree that carjacking, not good. No, it's weird how it was predicted that that kind of reformation or whatever would bleed into other areas. They said, no, no, no, no. It's just nonviolent drug offenders, people who smoke some pot. It should. Yeah, but it's not now. What, David? Your slippery slope. Oh, I want to, you got a joint life in prison.

Wow. You would say that. Yes. Again, not thinking before he's speaking, David Angelo. Joe, have you ever pulled called 911 when you're dying on stage? No, great. There's no phones up there. It's club rules. But you move me, man. You move me. It's not the crime, everyone. It's our outlook on the crime.

Like, for instance, like, all these murders make me appreciate all the time I spend with my loved ones. Because you never know when they're going to get shot in the head. Yeah. I actually think about that. I actually do think about that. I do think about that. No, I think about when I, like, if somebody I love is out, I hope they get home safely. Because I never, I think of, you do not.

Yes, I do. You do not think about anybody at all. Thinking about my dog right now. There you go. That I believe. That I believe. Well, your dog is a high target. No, it is.

My little French. I see people stare at him, looking him up and down. You got to get him like a piece of meat. Yeah. No, you were kidding, but I agree. No, I do think that. And I love the Portland 911 aspect because it said a crime in progress or death is imminent. So if I call them up and I'm like, I got stabbed in the arm.

And they're like stabbed in the arm past tense. And they're like, we're going to send police over to arrest you for calling 911. Yes. It's incredible. So how is it so expensive in these cities still? All this crime, Portland, they don't have police. Everyone's running a while. One bedroom is $800,000. How much do these criminals make, for God's sake?

It's a great point, again, from David Angelo. You know, you are going to get your own show on Fox. I just feel it. Thank you. I appreciate it. You guys, your letter campaign has worked. All right. Up next, she demands hotels remodel so the plus-sized can water. All right, don't go anywhere. We'll be right back. This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance.

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eastern or get the podcast at fox across america dot com is this even real sponsored by MetroCal meal replacement shakes. A fat activist latest fight? America's hallways are too tight. Yeah, plus size influencer named Jeline Cheney says hotels need to make their hallways bigger to accommodate obese people. It's one of many recommendations she posted to improve accessibility. Watch.

I'm on a mission to revolutionize the travel industry and making a more accessible, accepting, accommodating place for all. Provide sturdy wider chairs without armrest. Ensure beds with strong support and a higher weight capacity. Make elevators in the hallway spacious to allow for easy movement of larger individuals and those utilizing mobility devices. Offer adjustable handheld showerheads and raised toilet seats for added accessibility. Offer larger beach and pool seating. Provide size inclusive bath robes.

Display clear and accurate information on these amenities on hotel websites. Hmm, I like all of that and I'm not fat. But it appears that while it's offensive to expect her to change her life, lifestyle. It's imperative that all of us change ours. Well, has it worked? So far, the only venue willing to accommodate her is SeaWorld. So, Kat, you have a weight problem. We've been talking about it. I knew you were going to go to me first. I'm definitely the person the overweight community wants to hear from the most. No, I think the overweight community would be disgusted by this, I think. And I think I should.

speak for them a few times a year. I'm overweight. She finds it, she would find it offensive if people told her to lose weight, but she's perfectly fine to have an entire society change for her. Well, she's like, we matter just as everybody else. It's like, okay, but you seem to not understand that. You seem to think you're the most important because the way she, my favorite, right, was when she said, just widen the hallways. Yeah, that's impossible. Well, no, because here's a thing, hallways are attached to ceilings and floors. Right. You can't widen them. At least without causing a mass casualty event. Yeah, it's true.

It's true. You actually have to widen the buildings. She's like, I'm asking you to make some simple accommodations. Like, please demolish the building and rebuild it. She thinks to enlarge a building is as easy as like just eating and eating and enlarging yourself. There's plenty of things I would like, you know, like all clothing to have sleeves because my arms are very like, is she okay looking? And sometimes I still like the outfit and I just go for it. And then the arms are out there.

I'm not going to demand all clothes has sleeves just because my arms are disgusting. This is a great point. What's your name again? Joe. Joe. So I'm basically agoraphobic. I have a fear of open spaces and I'm a person of small stature. Shouldn't I demand smaller rooms and narrower hallways to make me feel better, Joe?

No, Greg, because that would be entitled, and it made me think that maybe at one point in the past, she was thin and beautiful to have developed such an entitled personality like that. But I also wrote some other one-liners, which I think you'll enjoy. Gather around. Greg, I'm guessing comfort suites isn't just her favorite hotel. Surprisingly, she didn't mention increasing the size. with a fitness center. Stop there.

Sometimes it's just a relief to have a comedian prepare. That's unfair. He wrote in advance. David, where do you stand on this? I mean, this is not about obese people. This is about somebody who feels entitled that society should change for her. Look, when I talk about hotels, item number one.

Yeah. Breakfast. Can we get it past 7.30 in the morning? You know? She didn't even mention that. Yeah. Yeah. It's like you're on vacation.

You're having the time of your life. And it's like, oh, you've got to get up. You've got to be down here between five and seven. Yeah. If you want a box of frosted flakes. Yeah. I mean, what about my rights? I am out all night.

I need to wake up at the crack of noon and go get a Continental. Yeah, do you know what else bothers me? You know, check in 1 o'clock, but checkouts at 11? Like, we lose two hours on that trade-off. Exactly. You don't even get 24 hours out of your hotel stay. No, that's wrong. I should get a refund.

Yeah, he's like you have to call for a late checkout. And then they act like they're doing you a favor. What we got to do is find these criminals and have them figure out how we can steal hotel. hotel rooms. I know how to do that. You just cross the border. Yeah. You just cross the border. Yeah, there you go. There's your answer. Wow, they had it. Everything's all worked out. Well, she's criticizing all these industries. What do you think is next on her list? I mean, this could apply to every building on Earth. Well, this chick better never go to Europe

because they don't even give skinny people a full shower door there. Yeah. Or two towels, or air conditioning, or water. So just don't go there. But honestly, half the country is overweight, obese, so maybe it's a good business model to start building these spaces. I don't know. I don't know. Maybe there's a market for it. The obesity numbers are very interesting because sometimes I think... They're very large, yeah, but no, but they're also, they're deceptive. Like when you look at BMI's, it's like everybody's obese compared to the BMI, what's that called, body mass index? Don't look at that. Just go to the county fair. Yeah. I count it as obese because of how heavy my muscles are.

But can we make one more point about the Continental Breakfast while we're complaining about that? Usually they only have a three-hour range, which makes it hard to go twice. And what is so continental about it? What's up with that? What's up with the Continental? I don't get it. Oh, so silent. I don't know.

I mean, you're right. What is the continent? You know, you go there. There's no continent. No, there's none. There's no reference to plate tectonics anywhere. What's the difference between a Continental and an American breakfast? Well, American breakfast, you'll have eggs.

Continental, you might not have eggs. It's just a bagel. We should do a Fox Nation special on Continental Breakfast hosted by Cat Timp. I wouldn't say no. All right. We're out of time. Thanks to Joe McE, Katie Pabletch, David Angelo, Cat Timp, our studio, and it's Fox News, and I'm with Dreamy, Trace Gallagher.

is next time. Great Godfell. I love you, America. Listen ad-free with a Fox News podcast plus subscription on Apple Podcasts. And Amazon Prime members can listen to this show, ad-free, on the Amazon music app. Hey, I'm Trey Gatti host of the Trey Gatti podcast. I hope you will join me every Tuesday and Thursday as we navigate life together and hopefully find ourselves a little bit better on the other side. Listen and follow now at foxnewspodcast.com.