Gutfeld! Monologues - Criminals Run Amuck, Looting A Delivery Truck

Episode Date: November 18, 2023

As seen on Gutfeld!, Comedian and Co-Host of the Jim Norton & Sam Roberts Show Jim Norton, Financial Analyst Heather Zumarraga, Chef Andrew Gruel, and FOX News Contributor Kat Timpf discuss thieves opting for a quicker cash​, robbing delivery trucks this holiday season as opposed to brick-and-mortar stores. Follow Greg on Twitter: @GregGutfeld Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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or read a five-minute summary of the book at economic principles.org. Literally, let's welcome tonight's guests. As a matter of fact, his dates do accept PayPal, comedian and co-hosts of the Jim Norton and Sam Roberts show Jim Norton. She must hate the Surgeon General because she's always smoking. Financial analysts, Heather Zubbara. He enjoys cooking libs like a full rack of ribs. Chef and restaurateur, Andrew Grool.

She's like vanilla pudding, cool, white, and popular in nursing homes. New York Times bestselling author and Fox News, contributor, Cat Tip. Jim, I never tire of saying, I'm so happy to see you. I'm delighted to be here, Greg. Thank you for having me on your show. Oh, my pleasure, my pleasure. Can I ask a question that was written for me by one of my writers? Sure.

I'm a cancer. Okay. Jim, you are a cancer on society. Yeah, that's what I meant. Jim, as someone whose pronouns are can't sell tickets. What are your professional opinions on this topic? That sounds like it was a really biased and mean-spirited question. Probably written by a comedian who doesn't sell as many tickets as you.

Well, then he's selling zero tickets. You know, two minus zero. How do I feel about this? I kind of have mixed feelings about it. Like a lot of the people, like one of the things they said in the article was that you can't tell teachers to refer to them as any pronoun because it's their First Amendment right. And a lot of the people, which is kind of correct, but if people believe that, then they should also feel that way about people who kneel during the Star-Spangled Matter.

Or people who burn the American flag. Like if you're going to use the First Amendment, then use it across things that you disagree with, too. I don't have kids. I think that there is like a fanaticism with pronouns. I respect them, but I don't like to be legislated and to respect them. I don't want to be forced into. You know what, okay, so a good comparison might be, okay, they do the pledge allegiance and you don't. It's like compulsory, compulsory language. So saying like, I'm not going to say the pledge of allegiance is consistent with not using a pronoun. Kind of, yeah. I mean, or kneeling during the Pledge of Allegiance, which is making more of a statement than using a different pronoun. But yeah, I mean, I'm fine with all this speech. I don't really care. I don't have kids, so I'm not concerned with how they handle this.

What about everybody else? Oh, that's their problem. When they're paying Jim's bills, then Jim will care about their problems. That gives me an idea for a new segment called That's Their Problem. That's great. It doesn't affect anybody on the panel. Heather, though you have offspring. Yeah, I do. That's true. Unfortunate for her. Yes. Do you feel like this is a trend that's near death? It feels like I'm kind of saddened because I get so much content out of these pronoun stories. I don't know what I'm going to do to fill that empty hole in my life. You do. I don't think it's near death. I think you will

have a long future of continuing these segments on the pronouns. I do like that. Governor Yonkin did push back and he said, wait a minute, I'm firing back of the school systems because they're allowing minors, you know, as a mom of an eight-year-old little girl, for example, to, for her to say she wants to be a man, I don't think at eight years old is, again, I'm her mom, so I would like to be in charge of her pronouns at least until she's 18. So at least Governor Yonkin pushed back enough to Newport News and said, hey, you have to get parental written consent. And at the end of the day, it's not a political issue. It's about protecting the kids' privacy and safety. And it goes back to whether or not you want the kids to wear a mask or even teaching them sexually explicit content in first grade. And it should come down to the parents. Ultimately, their decision. Jim, you may have kids someday, but... Oh, no, I won't. You've never met my wife. Andrew.

Do you ever use pronouns in your kitchen? If so, elaborate. No, we don't use pronouns in the kitchen. But you know, I got to say I'm going to go off script. I was really hurt with the knock on the recipe books. Yeah. So I'm going to lean into my feelings and my pain. And you didn't even address me by my pronouns when I came out here,

which is medium and medium rare. And by not addressing me by my pronouns, I think that my mental health is at stake. Steak. Steak. Well done, my friend. You see what I did there. But at least those are, I'm going to go along with this strange little circus you've created. Rare and medium rare at least tell you something that is useful.

Yeah, right? That is true. And I hear the word. And the meat's dead. It's not like they care. Not all the time. Oh, that's true. Yeah.

I don't think I want to know more about that, Andrew. No, no, no, no. No, I'm still thinking about Jim having kids, so, you know, we got a lot going on here. Yes, yes. Do you think this craze is finally waning? Yeah, it's waning. Look, we pulled our kids out of school, a public school originally, and it's hard enough on the teachers to begin with. You know, these teachers get a list of all the names. And just imagine you get a list of like 22 kids' names. And on the first day of school, you got to remember all of them. They all just are picking their nose. You don't know who's who and what's what. And you got to remember their name. So my son in public school for six months, they called him Jimmy.

Right? His name's William. They called him Jimmy. We just went along with it. We just went along with it. So now you throw proteins, proteins, pronouns into the... I'm thinking about the meat. I'm thinking about the meat. You throw pronouns into the mix, and it's all over, these poor teachers. So is he just now Jimmy? We actually just don't even give him a name. So we just... It's silence.

That's nice. That's nice. Oh, he's going to have an interesting childhood. Kat, if you were growing up in this era, do you think you would have gone for the pronouns? See, this monologue is really about you. You didn't need that sort of thing. You're just an interesting person. Well, I can make anything about me. Yeah, that's true. I actually agree with a lot of what Jim said.

I mean, for the pronoun thing overall, if being called they, them makes you happy, you have one life to live, and I'll call you they them, and that's fine. And I also completely agree that it shouldn't be completely. impulsory though. First Amendment across the board, though, regardless of how you feel about the speech. But when it comes specifically to kids, okay, I don't have kids, but I do have a dog, which a lot of us childless millennials refer to as our kids. Yes. And so he goes to doggy daycare. And if I went to pick him up from doggy daycare and I was like, how was Carl today? And she was like, well, that's between me and Carl. I feel like the only reaction. I could have would be, ma'am, I feel like you have an inappropriate relationship with my dog. Yes. That's a great point. That's true. You know what? Good. Good for you. Thank you. All right. Up next, criminals run amok looting a delivery truck.

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Thank you. It's been the best of times to commit a lot of crimes. New York can't afford cops while crooks loot anything that stops. Thieves now bored with hitting up brick and mortar stores are now robbing delivery vehicles this holiday season. Turns out they hate the long lines like the rest of us. Who can blame him? In Atlanta, thieves ran into an Amazon truck and stole multiple packages. Meanwhile, a FedEx driver in Tennessee told cops he was stopped at a red light when several cars drove up and blocked him. See, this is why I never stop at red lights. Thank you.

As many as 40 crooks hopped out and broke into the tractor trailer, stealing dozens of packages and leaving several strown all across the street, which would probably explain why I still haven't got my workout shorts yet. Or why Kamala hasn't gotten that book she ordered. Or why Joe Biden never got his underwear. But it seems like a stupid kind of theft. Whatever you grab, you have no idea what's in that package. It's just like that club Jim took me to in Thailand.

So nothing is off limits anymore. It's been a free-for-all in stores across the country. And now delivery trucks are also targeted. What are we law-abiding citizens supposed to do now? Do we start making our own goods at home? I've already started. Look, I made a lamp and a footstool. And here's my new guest house. Meanwhile, the NYPD is putting a hiring freeze on new recruits because of budget cuts fueled by a multi-billion-dollar migrant crisis. This is bad since the department already is struggling to replace 3,000 uniform. COPS who've retired or quit since 2019. A police union leader says this hiring freeze

is going to turn the NYPD staffing crisis into a public safety disaster. It's true. Pretty soon there will be no cops to strip at my holiday party. I know, I'm the real victim here, Heather. All right, this is what drives me nuts. Okay, so when Target was targeted, their stores, they just shut them down. They didn't put up a fight. They had these looting gangs come in. They didn't do anything. They just shut the stores down in Harlem and Oregon, wherever. Now you have the delivery people getting targeted. When will the companies or the insurance companies actually stand up and say something? Well, it's interesting. You mentioned Target. I'm not going to bore you with stats,

but they had their earnings this week. CEO Brian Cornell said, look, customers are thankful that we put up these glass. I don't think they're bulletproof, but like glass protectors for all of the merchandise, especially out in Queens they're doing it. And the customers are saying, this is great because they had no inventory on the shelves. There was no stuff to buy. And you know what? As a consumer, it's going to cause the prices to go up. It already has because of the theft.

It's not just inflation. So first you think, all right, I'll have a brick-and-mortar store. That didn't work during the BLM riots in Chicago and New York. And so now you're moving to e-commerce. And look at the poor helpless woman of the Amazon driver. What about her? When is Jeff Bezos going to take a stance and say, this is not working. We need to keep our employees safe.

So you are against lady truck drivers. No. No, but I think she has a case to bring to the company to say, hey, I feel unsafe, and you have to do more or at least take a stronger stance in favor of law and order. It's the one area you're hearing nothing from, the corporations. Right. They're scared. It's because insurance is taking care of it, and they're scared. Andrew, is this affecting your businesses at all?

You know what's funny? In the restaurant industry, it's all dine and dash, right? So that's actually become like a whole coordinated effort amongst various groups, and they talk about it online. So we got to catch that early. I'm going to actually just start pre-charging everybody who walks in the door and then providing bad food and bad service. That's the model, right? Because that's the U.S. government. But you know what? With this story, with this story, I'm going to tell you, Call me callous is that I actually have no sympathy. I'm glad it's gone up the chain, and I'm glad it's hitting Amazon and FedEx now. And let me tell you why.

20 to 2020, 2020, FedEx, $3 million to Democrats. Amazon, $16 million to Democrats. They pay for this stuff. That's why they're not saying anything. And here we are. They bought this policy. Exactly. So now they've got to live with it.

Live with it. It's better than the porch pirates, right? Because those are individuals who get hit. Let Amazon get it. Mm-hmm. Kat, how do you, how are you going to make do if you can't order things? What's going to happen to your life? Wither away and die. Yes, I know. I'm kind of close already. There you are. I think it's the criminals, they are a little impressive, though. I mean, the coordinated effort. I mean, do they, is it on, I mean, is it emails? Is it Zoom meetings that they're doing? How, how do they all know? I mean, I think, honestly,

that looking at the body of work, you would really, you could hire them to do event planning. Yeah. Except for I'd be worried they might steal from me. But other than that, what if they applied themselves in any other way? It's true. This takes a lot of work. And again, the percentage of success taking blind products that you don't know. It can't be that good. I mean, it's like they'd steal for me. What are they going to get? Well, let's not go. Betfrey visit that. You know, Jim, can I read another question from one of my writers? Sure, Greg. Let's I hope this one is less hurtful and more helpful. Jim, you do stand up in the city as a small and vulnerable man.

Do you ever feel unsafe leaving your near empty shows? Or do you have a tactic for keeping the crazy people away from you? That's a really, really good, long and very specific question. I'm really glad I wasn't prepared for it, so I'm just wing an answer on being small and insignificant. No, I'm actually preferring an empty room because there's less people that can harm me for the poor show that I put on. And what was the rest of that long? Wait a minute, but don't you find this whole thing weird that, like, why are they stealing? Like, from, they don't even know what's in the stuff.

That's the beauty. Hopefully someone got a stool sample that was on its way to a doctor. Colon guard. Honestly, customers who had their boxes taken off that FedEx truck are still going to get them faster than if they were mailed through the U.S. Post office. They damaged another one of my kiss posters. It actually seems like it would be a really good game show. Like you get what's inside the box. Yeah, yeah.

And Gwyneth Paltrow could host it. It said they caught, I think the police caught three of the thieves in Memphis, and they said the car smelled like marijuana. And the guy said, we didn't steal it. We found the boxes on the street. We just picked them up. They were just sitting there. Wow.

You believe that? No, I think they're probably lying. And by the way, they're never going to stop this to keep truckers safe. I mean, they haven't been able to protect Domino's delivery people. How long of Chinese food delivery people have been getting robbed? You're not going to stop people from doing this. Yeah. I just wanted to end the segment on a lull.

Thank you. All right. You're going to love this. All right. We're out of time. Thanks to Jim Norton, Heather Zimuraga, Andrew Gru, Kattip, our studio audience. Sam, Great Gutfeld, and I love you, America. This is Jason Chaffetz, from the Jason in the House podcast.

Join me every Monday to dive deeper into the latest political headlines and chat with remarkable guests listen and follow now at foxnewspodcast.com or wherever you download podcasts