Gutfeld! Monologues - Cryin' Gavin

Episode Date: April 2, 2026

As seen on Gutfeld!, Greg mocks Gavin Newsom for shedding tears in a press conference. Plus, we take a look at an interview with Newsom's wife on MS Now, and it turns out, she's just as insufferable as he is! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I wouldn't expect anything less. Happy Wednesday, everyone. So today is the first day of Passover. And to mark the occasion, Tiger Woods crashed into a menorah. Wrong holiday. And Don Lemon sat on a dreidel. Also, it's April Fool's Day. So I did what I do every year.

I told Jesse Waters, he's smart. There are concerns that soldiers have leaked secret battle plans to strippers. Well, you know what they say? say, loose lips. A bottle of wine from 1945 sold for a record-breaking $812,000. Wait,

wine comes in a bottle, asked this woman. They needed the comfort zone. Don Lemon says he thinks he can be president. And get this, if he'd win, that would make him the second gay black president. Dozens of lives were at risk when pilots mistakenly

contacted New York's JFK air traffic controllers while trying to land at LaGuardia airport 10 miles away. That reminds me at the time I sent a text intended for Brit Hume, but accidentally sent it to Kilmead. And I had to tell Kilmead to put his clothes back on and go home. And finally, a federal judge struck down President Trump's executive order to cut off funding to PBS. Thank God. Big Bird can finally stop blowing Bert and Ernie for beer money.

There are a lot of winners in that bunch. We'll be back with more Gutfeld. All right. So Gavin Newsom manages to bizarrely top himself every time he gets on camera. Last week, he announced an expansion of the California Service Corps, which apparently is geared at recruiting young men. It's kind of like what Don Lemon does every weekend, but here the recruits don't end up naked and afraid.

Seems like a decent idea until you. you see the guy leading it is in the thralls of a nervous breakdown. I wonder, are you also weird? I'm also weird. Shara, you know, forgive me. This is embarrassing. You can turn all that off. Just because all the noise, you know, that we just need to turn off.

And this is, this is, this, listen to this. This is it, man, this is it. You want to fix all this stuff? This is it. Listen to these guys. What the hell did he just say? I didn't even cry like that when my childhood pet ferret died. And believe me, he did not taste like chicken.

But crying never helped anyone. It did get me to take Taylor Swift back. I know. Surely he stopped crying, though, and said something that made sense. We all just sitting there yelling and screaming at each other. Everybody's getting each other's throats. and trying to tear everybody down and, you know, how are we going to get out of this?

This is it. You heard these guys. Programs like this, community leaders, like this. And I just, it's like, why are we so stupid? Why can't we just get this? It's so obvious what we need to do.

And so I'm just deeply proud of this. Proud of what? This is paid volunteering. I mean, what the hell is a paid volunteer? That's an oxymoron like jumbo shrimp, icy hot, and CNN reporter. And he's crying over this,

but not people murdered by illegals after a state ignored their ice detainers. So why was this speech so hard to give? No tough questions from reporters or constituents whose houses burn down, and yet he wept. You know, there are people whose energy is contagious

and they inspire you, But Gavin's energy is the reverse. It's selfish energy, where one self-expression is the priority, and you should feel it too. Instead, you're just uncomfortable. But it's what people do when they can't talk about anything that can be measured. Things like immigration, crime, homelessness, fires. No talk about low test scores or insane gas prices, because anything that affects your standard of living can be graded. And for Gavin, it's a solid F.

So instead, he puts all his energy into things that. can't be measured, his passion. But Trump doesn't do that. He talks constantly about things you can measure, whether it's bombing terrorists, reducing fraud, or increasing the attractiveness of Dana Perino. Yeah, he obsesses over things to a fault. I mean, is it going to be the greatest ballroom anywhere in the world,

highest level, same height? I think it'll be the greatest ballroom. Anywhere in the world, it's its highest level. same height, exact height of not higher, same height as the White House exactly the same height. See what I mean? We didn't even ask for that. But Gavin can't do that. Listen to him from 2014, where he admits the high-speed rail was a sham. Depending on you to analyze it, I doubt very much, even the most optimistic assessments of the next decade. Good people can disagree, but the facts seem overwhelming that this project is not going to materialize in our lifetime.

We started with $33 billion. It went to $96. We valued engineered it, so it's no longer, quote, unquote, high speed rail. It's higher speed rail. We wildly overstated the ridership projections. We manipulated some of the revenue projections. It's amazing we're just seeing this. Watching him tell the truth about something he was lying about for years. It's like watching a serial killer eventually giving in and telling the detectives where he buried all the bodies, hoping it will reduce his sentence. This should be a campaign ad for whoever runs against him. So yeah, it was all a scam.

They knew the project wouldn't work, but they spent the next decade selling it anyway. And now we know it's never going to happen. The high-speed rail is literally off the rails, not unlike Gavin's equally vacuous wife. Here she is in 2023 talking about a trip to Alabama to show her kids what racism looks like. You took your four kids on this trip. You're here in Alabama now. Why was it important to you to take them on this trip to red states and learn about the history in our country?

It's part of enlivening them, building their curiosity, expanding their hearts, their empathy so that they themselves can be the change they wish to see in the world and recognize that, you know, we have work to do and that we have healing to do. and so that they can be, you know, use their voices to say and out and speak out when they see pain and suffering and bullying and racism and misogyny around them. I'm a truth seeker. They need to know the truth. The healing. The healing, the work. They need to know the truth.

What, that their mom is just as full of shit as her dad? Hey, Mom, can we go to Disney World? No kids. We're off to shame. people in Alabama. But hell, if they wanted to see black people who are truly forgotten, why not just visit the cities run by liberals in California? These two are not a power couple.

They're just a better-looking version of Jim and Tammy Fay Baker. Self-promoting egotists who gained the system by seizing control of it. And the scariest part is this is the best the Dems got. It shouldn't be Gavin who's crying. It should be them. Listen ad-free with a Fox News podcast plus subscription on Apple Podcasts. And Amazon Prime members can listen to this show, ad-free on the Amazon Music app.