Gutfeld! Monologues - Dems Sell Fake Fear On Halloween

Episode Date: November 1, 2025

As seen on Gutfeld! It's Halloween and it's Friday! That means Greg is diving into his leftover jokes from the week. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Boarding for Flight 246 to Toronto is delayed 50 minutes. Ugh, what? Sounds like Ojo time. Play Ojo? Great idea. Feel the fun with all the latest slots in live casino games and with no wagering requirements. What you win is yours to keep groovy. Hey, I won! Boarding will begin when passenger fisher is done celebrating.

19 plus Ontario only. Please play responsibly. Concerned by your gambling or that if someone close, you call 1866-3-3-1-2-60 or visit comixonterio.ca. Thank you. Happy Greg O'Nean. It's Friday, so you know what that means. Let's welcome tonight's guest. This favorite Halloween candy is payday. Shark Tank star Kevin O'Leary.

This Halloween, she's bringing you I can't. Fox Business Corresponded, Matt is in all words. For Halloween, he always goes as Lieutenant Dan. Fox's contributor Johnny Joey Joe. And finally, Needles look for her in a haystack. Needle of Times best selling author and Fox News Contributor Cat, too. All right. Before we get to some news stories, let's do this.

Greg's Leftovers. It's leftovers where I read the jokes we didn't use this week, and as always, it's my first time reading them. So if they suck, we'll make Joe Mackey dress up as Shirley Temple and go trick-or-treating on Epstein Island. Yeah. Kamala Harris declared that Joe Biden was competent to serve another four years.

Her husband was so shocked, he fell off his nanny. In Florida, a couple was arrested for leaving their infant alone on a beach. Apparently only first ladies can do that. According to a new study, having morning sex increases your levels of job. productivity and overall satisfaction. But one man adds, just wait till the wife leaves the house. We'll be back with more Gutfeld.

It's Will Tain Country. Watch it live at noon eastern Monday through Thursday at Fox News.com or on the Fox News YouTube channel. And don't miss the show. Listen and follow the podcast five days a week at Fox News Podcasts.com or wherever you download your favorite podcasts. Sister Sidney Sweeney showed up to the Variety Women's event.

And she looks so hot, you can even see Jamie Lee Curtis's boner. Terrible. You shouldn't have written that, cat. Florida put to death their 15th inmate this year, setting another state record. They chalk up their success to a brand new executioner. Main Democrat hopeful and Nazi tattoo owner, Graham Platner is under fire for questioning why black people don't tip. He apologized, saying if they struggle with the math,

they should ask some Asians. I know. He's terrible. He's terrible. Kamala Harris wanted to be on Travis Kelsey's podcast, but he told her we do sports, not politics. And she responded that she's ranked number one in beer pong. CNN's Abby Phillip admitted her network is probably like center left. To be clear, it's more like audience left. Play on words.

According to scientists, Neanderthals could be brought back to life within 20 years. Way ahead of you, said Fox News. He's off today. Russia tested a nuclear missile. They're calling Tiny Chernobyl. Turns out it's just a hamper full of Jerry Nadler's underpants. Yeah, it's a big payload. The House Oversight Committee claimed Binders, Biden's, Biner's, Bidens, Biner's, Biden's inner circle controlled his cabinet meetings, who he talked to, and where to walk.

Here's his inner circle. New York Times reported that while running for high school vice president, Zohran Mamdani promised students freshly squeezed juice. Makes sense since he's now promising freshly squeezed juice. A squirrel named Chunkassaurus Rex won the top spot. the Texas Fat Squirrel Week competition. The prize is a week-long stay on top of Maxine Waters' head. Wow.

Don't have to try. Eric Swalwell demanded all 2028 Democratic candidates promise to take a wrecking ball to the Trump ballroom, but claims it's a coincidence that the wrecking ball would muffle the sounds of his uncontrollable farting. 25% of young adults across the U.S. are functionally illiterate, yet more than half earned a high school diploma. Worse, some even write books. Don Lemon's being widely criticized for insulting Megan Kelly

by saying she looks trans. Oh, God, I hate it when women fight. And finally, in the U.K., the cover, what's wrong with me? The cover of Glamour magazine's Women of the Year issues features all trans women, i.e. men. It comes with a poster that both folds out and pops up. I got there. What's with my mouth? All right.

So today is Halloween, or as some call it, the Day of the Dead. But I love it. I love it when the kids come by my house. It's the only time I can get rid of those little packets of soy sauce. But while it's just one night where everyone wears costumes that are meant to scare, For the Dems, it's a daily thing. The same ghouls and goblins, scaring voters with ghost stories. And the media is along for the ride, taking the fear and spreading it like monkey pox at a Hunter Biden pool party.

But while the Dems sell fear, Republicans are fighting real ones, immigration criminals, fentanyl. Trump knows what's at stake because he listens to voters. He knows what really scares them. And it's men in their daughter's locker rooms, not are clouds racist. But the Dems don't see reality. They forge nightmares. The most recent one, the impending White House ballroom. I mean, are you effing kidding me?

Are you fucking kidding me? This guy wants to create a ballroom for his rich friends while completely turning a blind eye to the fact that babies are going to starve when the SNAP benefits end in just hours from now? Come on. So I'm not going to be distracted by, oh, does the guy have a big, hammer. It's not just the desecration of the White House. It shows that Donald Trump is not focused on fixing health care, but rather on vanity projects. The people's house is basically

being sold to the higher spitter. It is corruption at its core. You want to talk about corruption at its core? Look up Arctic Frost. It's not just Bill's nickname for Hillary's vagina. Multiple presidents have done renovations, hell. How soon we forget that Bill Clinton once installed a sex swing in the humidor. Then there's the no king's fear. President Trump, we don't want you or any other king to rule us. We will never surrender. So Donald Trump, stay the hell out of Chicago.

Donald Trump is not a king. Donald Trump is a bully. Trump does think that he's a king, and he thinks that he can act more corruptly when the government is shut down. Sorry, clowns. If Trump was king, how come he can't reopen the government? In what land is a king held hostage

by an unpopular party? If Trump was king, he could have ended the shutdown by royal decree and then do the right thing and banish all women who are less than a seven. Now, who put that picture in? Then there's the third term fear. If he files to run for presidency and attempts to run for elections, and then circumvents and ignores the rules,

he's a violation of the Constitution of the United States that you should be arrested. Are they going to let this happen? Are y'all going to let it happen? But he iterates. He throws things out, and he plays with it, and he sees how people react. And it manifests, meaning once a mind is stretched, it never goes back to its original form. And that's my concern. What's with all those hand movements?

Why not just fully transition into a mime? At least, then you'd shut up. Look, Trump can't run constitutionally. He's even admitted it. He's pulling your chain like, Joe Biden does when he needs the nurse to come empty the bedpan. It's a fun recreational belief, and it works. It keeps countries from believing they can wait Trump out, and it sends the view

deeper and deeper into therapy. And recreational beliefs, unlike the Democrats' destructive ones, don't lead to mutilated kids, gangs taking over apartment complexes, or men pretending to be women to enter safe spaces. But enough about Jennifer Welch. The Dems fears could be dangerous. And the only fear we should have is what fake fear they choose next. Fear the fear.

Because Dems never learn from mistakes. They just find a new costume for them. What will their next fake crisis be to scare people into giving them power? Methane is going to warm the planet. Well, stop feeding Joy Behar tacos. But for them, Halloween never... ends. They just pick new masks and new get-ups. One day it's to fund the police and climate hysteria. The next is ISIS, the Gestapo, and Sidney's a Nazi. Their ideas are worse than

Fox wanting me to do a fully clothed calendar. No one's going to buy that. Which is why the Dems can't run on ideas. And instead of matching Trump's good moves, they counter them with hysteria. And remember, these are the same people who gaslit you over real fears, an open border, rampant crime, and a brain-dead president while pushing imaginary panics. But they only work when you believe them, and we don't. They're the party that cried wolf so many times they should be tested for rabies. Period. Listen ad-free with a Fox News podcast plus subscription on Apple Podcast.

And Amazon Prime members can listen to this show ad-free on the Amazon music app.