Gutfeld! Monologues - Dems' Socialism Problem Continues

Episode Date: August 8, 2026

As seen on Gutfeld! Greg talks about how Socialists spells doom for America. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ah, that'll do. Let's welcome tonight's guest. She's gone through more presidential briefs than Joe Biden. Host a Saturday in America and co-hosts of Outnumbered Kaylee McAiddy. He's the guy who tells you about his vacation when nobody asked. Co-hosts of Fox and Friends first time, Piro. As a native of Ukraine, he missed his calling as an Uber driver, host of the Your Welcome podcast, Michael Ballet.

And he's what you get when Uncle Fester takes Ozempic. Co-host of Anthony Jim Show podcast, Jim Norton. Now, before we get to some news stories, let's do this. Greg's Leftovers. Yeah. It's Leftovers, where I read the jokes we didn't use this week. And as always, it's my first time reading them. So if they suck, we'll send Joe Mackey to Barbara Streisand's house

dressed as a tube of preparation age. Oh, shove them right up her butt. Gross. According to a presidential election poll, Kamala Harris is trailing AOC by five points. Yeah, and Tim Walts is running eight points behind explosive diarrhea. According to insiders, New York City Mayor Zohran Mamdami is thin-skinned and hypersensitive to public criticism. Now, normally I'd make a joke about him,

but I don't want them to fly a plane into my building. Thank you. Thanks, thank you. That's rolled. Oh, yeah. Researchers at Stanford has successfully used AI to create new viruses. But wait, that's my job, said one man. While selling a product to viewers, instead of saying the name Blowout, the QVC host accidentally said Blow Job.

Oh, wow. Yeah. Men can still order it, but you can only get it on your birthday. Senators are trying to ban prediction markets from allowing betting on wildfires after millions were won by one woman. A new study says that eating too much protein can actually shorten your life. Well, what if you spit it out immediately? asked one man. RFK Jr. has cut government ties with a Kentucky medical group that removed organs from victims that were still. alive. Still alive? Well, at least we know Mitch McConnell is safe. In England, the owner of a recently deceased French bulldog launched his remains into space on a weather balloon. In parts of

Asia, they call this Uber Eats. A Florida Steakhouse is inviting their customers to dine in the nude, meaning you now have more options when it comes to hair in your food. The views, Whoopi Goldberg said you'd be shocked by the size of her paycheck. She clarified later that paycheck is the nickname for her ass. A growing number of men are suffering from Jim penis, which is when you experience shrinkage right after working out. Of course, men have to be able to see their penis first. Kamala Harris was asked to list the most effective presidents in American history,

and she left out Joe Biden. After hearing this, Joe responded, that's the last time I hire anybody from visiting angels. The food-stained dress Anne Hathaway wore, and the devil wears Prada too, is headed for auction. Just food? asked one man. And finally, some folks now want Julie Tatar, a transgender basketball player dominating a French women's league to join the WNBA. Well, it wouldn't be the first time a French man took a job from a woman. You know, I don't get that joke at all.

We'll be back with more Gutfeld. Your summer travels deserve an upgrade. With select Chevrolet, Buick, GMC, and Cadillac vehicles connected by OnStar, you can stream, game, and more on the go. Whether you're headed to a music festival or a cottage getaway, you can access hundreds of apps on Google Play right from your center display. Explore OnStar Tech today at OnStar.ca and discover how to take your summer to the next level. OnStar, Better Never Stopps.

So this week, we saw some fresh faces bubble up from the DSA. And frankly, it was the scariest thing I've seen since Jesse asked me to check his back for ticks. The only candidate in this race who will meet ICE with the force and fury required to keep us all safe. They think that you want to use my whole name against me. Mike, listen, man, if you can't say the name, it's Abdulrahman. Keep the name out your damn mouth. Thanksgiving is also a time that's incredibly painful for many people in our communities. Rapid Fire, do you support Repealing Act 10? Yes. Abolishing Ice.

Yes. A one-year data center moratorium. Yes. Breaking up Big Ag. Yes. Public grocery stores. Yes. America deserve 9-11, dude.

I'm saying it. It doesn't matter if rapes happen on October 7. If you cared about Medicare fraud or Medicaid fraud, you would kill Rick Scott. So this is the bed the Dems made and it's full of mindless narcissist bred in a terrarium of victimhood who really realized that being a loser is winning if you say it's the white man's fault. But the bed was made through cowardice for the Dems refused to draw a line in the sand against American hating interlopers and even adopting their divisive incendiary rhetoric, turning every institution from churches to museums to borders into a means to achieve power,

which now leaves the party dependent on the very faction that it wants to contain. Spoiler alert, they can't. By courting the abolish ICE, trans mafia, and police defunding crowd, they created a vacuum that this more extreme faction full of energy and moral certainty now occupy.

And like all vacuums, it sucks harder than Supergirl. And fearing the loss of rich progressive donors, the Dems lack the balls to reject the Marxist unhinged, goals, which is why they'll jump into bed with anyone from Nazis to Ilan Omar's brother. The DSA now have cultural, youthful leverage. And all the old guard has is lizards, vampires, and Andre the Giant. To break free from this extremism, the Dems would have to publicly

disagree with them on the border, trans and crime, but their fear makes it impossible. Because instead of seeing the DSA as a rival ideology, they treat it like a protege. And now they're screwed like a home invader at Graham Platner's house. Oh. Too much for Michael. Which is why the rest of us must walk away from this car crash. Mainly because it's not up to us to debate socialism. We know what it is.

History tells us millions die through starvation and murder. Also, it's just too easy for us. If you want to destroy a socialist, simply ask one question, what's the downside to your demands? They never give you one. And that instantly removes them from the world of reality, where every single action has a trade-off. Socialists are like an expert who tells you there's a way where you'll never gain weight again, and it's death. So leave that spat with the Dems and the monster they created. Instead of articulating an alternative, we need to implement what we already see.

stated because the icy water of reality has already settled the arguments. The climate agenda is abandoned. The open borders is a nightmare America wishes to forget and the trans agenda has collapsed under the weight of reason. True, our nation demands a border, a belief in biology, access to fossil fuel, and incarcerating criminals. And enough with identity politics. I don't need to hear your pronoun preference when you're telling me the soup of the day. But even if mainstream America, these ideas are done. They're still gasping and twitching in the corpse of the Democratic Party

thanks to the DSA. So that's their battle and not ours. There won't be a socialist America. But the Democratic Party looking like a sure bet. We could throw them a life preserver, but they'd only call it racist for being white.

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