Gutfeld! Monologues - Deporting the Worst First

Episode Date: February 12, 2026

As seen on Gutfeld!, did you know one in three college students checks their phones during sex?  Meanwhile, Trump’s top priority when it comes to illegals— deport the worst first—get the detailed breakdown you won’t want to miss! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I get it. Good evening, everyone. Well, according to a new study, more than one in three college students admit that they've checked their phones during sex. In their defense, many of them were Googling. Is Greg Gutfeld really this short? You know, that should have got a better laugh. Recent pictures of Jeffrey Epstein cohort and convicted sex trafficker just slain Maxwell show that she seems to have gained a lot of weight in prison. Sources say she's trying to make it harder to be lifted up to a noose.

Illinois daycare worker gave toddlers laxatives so they would get sent home. But it's not an uncommon strategy. One woman used to do it all the time to her boss. Never know what hits. Never know what hits. The world anti-doping agency is investigating if ski jumpers have been injecting their penises with aesthetic filler to increase the surface area to make. make them fly further. Well, guess who just took up ski jumping? Good for him. Yeah. But the coldness

cancels everything out, so I don't get it. Sad Hollywood News, 65-year-old Kathy Griffin's relationship with a 23-year-old man has come to an end. The affair broke off when he tested positive for eyesight. The congressional inquiry is being led by Republicans to determine how Ilhan Omar achieved to so much wealth. And Elon has already hired the law firm, Allah and Akbar. Finally, on Monday, voluptuous actress Sidney Sweeney rang the opening bell at the New York Stock Exchange. Meanwhile, in Chicago, another large-breasted individual rang the Taco Bell. Sounds good. Yeah. All right. We'll be back with more Gutfeld. This is Ainsley-Airhart. Thank you for joining me for the 52-episode podcast podcast.

podcast series, The Life of Jesus. A listening experience that will provide hope, comfort, and understanding of the greatest story ever told. Listen and follow now at Fox News Podcasts.com or wherever you listen to podcasts. So Trump has a goal when it comes to illegals, deport the worst first. You know, murderers and rapists and bad bunny. You know, I don't even think that's his real name. But when the reality of the operation becomes inconvenient for the media, they whip out the statistics. The president says agents are going after the, quote, worst of the worst.

But a new government document obtained exclusively by CBS News reveals who exactly ICE is going after, and it's not what we've been told. Here are the numbers. Fewer than 14% of the nearly 400,000 undocumented immigrants arrested by ICE over the past year had charges or conviction for violent crimes. That means roughly 60% did have some kind of criminal charge or conviction, but again, the vast majority were not for violent offenses. Wait a second. CBS says less than 14% of illegals arrested by ICE have a violent criminal record. Oh my, I've been living a lie. Fox News, pack your bags.

Those who haven't left already. Of course, these stats are BS. It's CBS's way of redefining crime to make the problem seem much less severe than it really is. So that's Trump's immigration agenda would appear misguided, cruel, and unnecessary. You know, like Trey Gowdy's barber. First, let's tackle the 14% number. It sounds small, but 14% is a lot if you're dealing with a massive number to begin with. Sure, maybe Joy Behar ate only 14% of her lunch, but then you find out the lunch was this.

Fact is, out of 400,000 illegals, 14% comes to 56,000 rapist killers, you name it. So what would you want law enforcement to do about them? I mean, at this rate, Chris Van Allen would go broke buying so many margaritas. But the entire premise is disgusting on its face. CBS admits that 60% arrested had criminal charges or convictions. But don't worry, the majority were nonviolent, which is supposed to make you think of harmless offenses like parking tickets, jaywalking or marrying your brother. But what's really classified as nonviolent? drug trafficking, child porn, fraud, DUI, human smuggling, all the awful things that make me distrust

people that own vans. So harmless, right? We've all smuggled a kid once or twice in our carry-on bags. We've all driven drunk when your helicopter can't land you near Hooters. So what the F***S? What are you trying to do here? It's like you want more people to die. But it gets worse. CBS's bombshell report also claims that 40% of ICE arrestees had no criminal past. They seem to mean here in the U.S. ICE arrested this guy last week. He's an MS-13 member who shot, tortured, and murdered five people. But forget it, people, in El Salvador.

So I guess he's nonviolent since he wasn't convicted here. You know who else didn't have a violent criminal history here? The illegals who killed Lake and Riley, Rachel Moran, Jocelyn Nungay. or the scammers running fake daycares that haven't been prosecuted yet. But if you commit a crime outside the U.S., it doesn't count. I guess we owe Nicholas Maduro an apology. Of course, this is coming from the same media that lectures, one death is too many, which is used to justify insane regulations in public health policies.

Remember the pandemic? A single death is a tragedy they would claim, well, unless it's a girl jogging on her lunch break. But in the end, this report is another effort to see. stop us from keeping bad people out of our country. And they do this by pretending that we're targeting peaceful illegals and that we lied when we said do the worst first. But who's victimizing these least worst? The very same people defending them now. By resisting the goal of deporting the worst first, ICE had no choice but to use a wider net, which included all illegals. If Walts

or Fry had agreed to cooperate, then this wouldn't have ever been an issue. But that was the point. Their goal was to prevent deporting criminals so ICE would be forced to sit through all illegals. And that would be a political win to say, aha, they're not going after the worst after all. It's so moronic that I almost admire it. And it's done not to protect people, but to protect political power. And that allows them to say that a murderous felon came here looking for a better life, when in fact it was a better knife. Let's welcome.

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