Gutfeld! Monologues - Did Boxer Shorts Ruin A News Report?

Episode Date: January 20, 2024

As seen on Gutfeld! Former National Security Advisor, K.T. McFarland, FOX News Contributor Tyrus, FOX News Contributor Kat Timpf and Comedian, Jamie Lissow discuss a very curious blooper during an interview with former campaign advisor to President Clinton, Dick Morris. Later, the panel discusses if MSNBC could be bad for your marriage. Follow Greg on Twitter: @GregGutfeld Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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or read a five-minute summary of the book at economic principles.org. Well gone, everybody. Happy Wednesday, everybody. Let's welcome. Nice guest. He calls himself a comedian, which proves he has a sense of humor. Actor, writer, comedian Jamie Lissau.

Little known fact, KT stands for Killer Tompsoles. Former deputy national security advice. K.T. McFarlane. If you mess with her, she'll stab you with her elbows. New York Times bestselling author and Foxooski contributor, catch him. And he's quick with a scowl, but wise as an owl. New York Times bestselling author, comedian and former NWA World Championship. Tonight on Gutfeld Investigates, a man marched into Dick's room, modeling Fruit of the Loom. Yeah, while discussing this week's Iowa caucus results, political author and commentator Dick Morris, seemed unaware of something very out of the ordinary happening behind him. Watch.

Well, I think Trump is going to score a huge victory. I think the media is going to try to damn play it, because, as you correctly said, they're basically supporting... you want to basically support Mickey Haley. Yes, we know what Brian Stelter's been doing since he left CNN. So what just happened there? What happened?

All right, let's turn to our crack Gutfeld investigators for a more in-depth investigation. Tonight, the Gutfeld investigative unit presents an enigma caught on camera with your host, Brad Pitt. January, 24, a scantily-clad figure emerges from the shadows on live television undetected. What is he looking for?

His pants? A shirt? A misplaced hoagie grabs. And what of the location? Could it be a kidnapper's lair? An abandoned safe house? Or could it be a game of strip poker gone awry? What sort of plans does Dick Morris have for him? A pillow fight? A game of more cheesy. were something more sinister. And could it be possible, the man was never really there? Excellent work, team. Now, we've reached out to Dick Morris a number of times.

I called him personally. And I've been calling him all day, which is weird since we were next to each other in bed. But earlier, he told him. One of our producers, he wouldn't be commenting and ended the conversation with a strange chuckle, which raises the question, what's he hiding? Where was he exactly? Who was that man? Why was he in his underpants? Could Dick Morris have been taken hostage by a retired plumber? And why can't that plumber afford a sports braw? Was he a friend, a coworker? A paid escort? And if so, when Dick calls the escort service, does he say, send me someone who looks like Fred Mertz? Could there be a clue to all this in that oddly placed painting in the background? But Morris won't comment.

When I texted him, he said he can't comment because he's on contract with Newsmax, which led to another mystery. What the hell is Newsmax? Dyrus, we were just here. We called him again. He picked up the phone. He goes, I didn't pick up the phone five times for a reason. I can't comment. What is going on?

I need to know what you think. Okay. So for many, many, many, many years, I was a bodyguard. Yeah. And our job is to always find the best scenario to explain to the wife. So I'm going to try to do that right now. So they're getting ready to work out. Yeah.

And, you know, he's ready to go. It's leg day. Yeah, it's like day. And he told him that the interview was only going to be about 10 minutes. But once you start stretching, once you get those hamstrings and those bicuspids burning and you get ready to go to your legs, you can't wait. Yeah. And the rumor, the word has always been to the fellows in the gym.

When it's time to go to work, it's time to go to work. He came out, ready to go to work, pay no attention to the mascara over his eyes. He came to go to work. That is to get the sun from bouncing off his cheeks. when he's squatting. So he's ready to work. But God, he does have a mascara on his eyes. He's getting ready to work.

Either that has been punched an eye lot. Then again, that we've not established a safe word. But probably the best part of this whole thing is when you pause it like that, look at his, I got caught face. Yeah. And he's got to explain this why there's a bear in his hotel room. There is a bear. Lions and tigers.

Nope, just a bear with mascara on. So just to work out, Greg, just a little Greco-Roman wrestling with your favorite workout buddy. Nothing to see here. All right. Kat, give us your analysis. Well, I don't want to be judgmental of the guy, you know. If my chest look that full without a bra, I wouldn't wear one either.

I'm like, just because I'm jealous of his rack, doesn't mean? You know, like, I don't want to hate on him. He also, I think we could all learn a lot from the confidence exhibited through his walk through the apartment. Like, he has the best posture I've ever seen anyone have in my entire life. And I don't think he has an I just got caught face. I think he doesn't react at all. Yeah. I think that neither of them react at all.

It's just like, maybe if I don't say anything, nobody will notice. That's the I don't, cat, as a man, you don't have to be gay or straight. Yes, so we will notice that he's, like, wearing, like, Forever 21 clothes, like, walking past your, like, dude, and he's coming from, like, that's not, like, another room. Is that, like, the garage? Yeah, I don't know what's going on. Could he just wander in from outside? Katie, thoughts? You must have run into Dick Morris. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, for years. Yeah, you're not as tight. Was he a big workout leg day guy? Like I think dream on, sweetie. The thing is, he's done this before. Yeah.

What? Dick Morris, and you won't remember, because you probably weren't even born in, but in the Clinton administration, so Dick Morris has came to fame because he was a campaign manager, the poster of Bill Clinton helped engineer his victory in the White House, but Dick Morris had to resign because he had a, I don't know, what do you want to call it, lady of the night? Well, he had a foot fetish, but he paid for the person who helped him with his foot fetish. What would you call them? A foot score.

Someone who contributes to the economy. Okay. Yeah. So we went from foot fetish to big dude fetish. Okay. That's not really healthy. But he had to resign. Not because he had a girlfriend who he was paying, who played with his feet.

But because while she was doing that, he was on the phone with President Clinton. Right. So. There you go. All right, Jamie. You, has this ever happened to you where strange men in their underwear just walk into your home unannounced? No, but this similarly has happened to me while I was FaceTiming my ex-wife. In his defense, after you see enough guys in their boxers walking around, you don't even notice them.

Can I see it one more time? Could I see the... Yeah. He looks like the guy in the back, to Tyrus's point, he looks like he just worked out, but for the first time ever. Right? And this is... What if there's somebody tied up behind that door? And he's just walking out, going to get a sprite.

Yeah. By the way, you only put on this type of shirt when you're about to be arrested. Yes. Well, it does match the Speedos, the biker shorts. Maybe they were going to ride bikes. Although, if he did put a push-up bra on, he could have cleavage up to his chin.

I know he's in the polls, but that's ridiculous. You know, if Dick Morris suggests giving me a quote, we could have had some, you know. I'm going to quote a movie here. You can't handle the truth. Last word, Jamie? No, I just, the last thing I wanted to say was when I did call Mack's wife on this, she claimed the house was haunted by a ghost with an erection that looked a lot like a guy she went to high school with.

I don't blame Dick for not commenting. That was amazing. Yeah. All right. Up next, when a cable news hack caused trouble in the sack. All right, don't go anywhere. We'll be right back. Did you know that at Chevron, you can fuel up on unbeatable mileage and savings? With Chevron rewards, you'll get 25 cents off per gallon on your next five visits. All you have to do is download the Chevron app and join to start saving on fuel.

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if you're fighting over cable? Is the marriage doomed if joy reads in the room? And could watching Rachel Maddow without compunction lead to permanent erectile dysfunction. A new study finds that news media often starts fights between romantic partners with opposing political views. Wow, that's amazing. Who conducted this study, the Institute of Stuff

that should be obvious? Apparently about 30% of Americans are in relationships with people they don't agree with politically, which is good, but it presents a problem when picking a news network to watch. It makes sense. That's why Taylor Swift and I always went to bed angry. Glad she's happy, though. So these couples ask themselves, will it be Fox or MSNBC, do we watch it together or separately and in secret? It's a known fact that many women rent motels by the hour

just to watch Gutfeld. I know. And researchers found that polarized news often forces couples to confront their significant others' opposing beliefs. Some say it was Nicole's love of C-SPAN that finally pushed OJ over the edge. Come on, damn.

And if they're watching it on MSNBC, it also forces them to confront Rachel Maddow's uncanny resemblance to manic. Yeah, cable news is the ultimate stirer. It's proven by science. So what's this mean? We'll marry someone you agree with. That way, if she leaves you, it's because you're a failed stand-up comedian. Wow, that should really hurt.

Do you agree with this, Jamie? Yeah, I'm really reflecting a lot right now. Because I think we did have, I honestly think these were some of the big issues when I was married. Because, you know, I always, you know, I always leaned to the right and she left. We just, we had differences. She was pro-life without me. You are too good. But the TV thing's a big deal, though, because I like to watch Fox News.

She liked to watch her boyfriend of sex with her in the mirror. It's okay. He's in a new thing. Just let it all out, man. It's a net positive. You're in a wonderful relationship now. Yes. Thank you.

How is Rob? What do you think? Do you think this is bad that we're destroying relationships, or are we helping them? So here's the thing. I mean, it's funny, but it's not funny, because how many of us have lost friends because of our political affiliation? I have people who won't talk to me because I work for Donald Trump. But I actually have a lot of new friends because I work for Donald Trump. But I kept thinking about this. And, you know, let's assume that these people had, you know, honest differences. They're going to go to their marriage counselor. What's their marriage counselor going to say? Yeah.

Watch CNN? I mean, but that doesn't really work. No. And then they get divorced. And so who are they going to cite in their divorce? Greg Gutfeld? I hope so. Yeah.

Yeah, I've moved a lot of marriages. But think of all the people. You brought great happiness, too. Yes, that's true. I've united a lot of couples, Kat. Isn't that true? They get together and they curl up and they watch me at home and they go, we're so happy to see Greg.

And then the husband says, who's that blonde, that skinny blonde. She said, shut up! And he goes, I was just pointing it out. And then she goes, well, you like the blonde and I'll go with the big Negro. And then they divorce, Kat. I feel the thing that struck me by this story the most was like, are there really that many couples that just sit around? and all you do is sit around and watch the news. Even if you do agree, I feel like that might be a problem. Yeah, that's true.

Shut up and have sex. Says Dr. Timp. Yeah, what do you do with the other 23 and a half hours? That's what I would say as a marriage counselor. Shut up and bang each other. I feel like somebody has a new t-shirt. Yeah. Yeah, could you...

I'm going to start selling that merch on this show. Yes. I'm sure I wouldn't get a phone call for that. This is stupid. Yeah. Of course it is. It's on this show. You waited until you got married to find out the political affiliation.

That only happens when you order them overseas, so I did not. Mine found me. But I haven't won an argument in 11 years, so I never get to pick what watches on TV. But when I am in control of this stuff, I don't know, Jamie, this used to happen to you or not. When they come in the room, like, hey, what's happened in the news? the news, tell me what happened. I always lie. I always say like, man, China just, they just set up shop outside of California. They're like right there. They're staring us down, and Russia's invading Georgia. But other than that, you know, the Celtics are up three, so I think we're good

right now. And then she'll come back out and tell her friends of the phone, you know, China's invading California? And I'll be like, you know, it's worth the hour later. And then I'll just say what Kat said, just shut up and have sex. But unlike you. Jamie, I'll be specific to preferably the guy you said I do to. Yeah. Yeah. Be in the room with her. Yeah. Yes. Because it gets confusing. If you're like, just

go out and have sex and then she does it. Kind of have to blame myself for not be more specific. All right. We're out of time. Thanks to Jamie. Let's out. Kate Devin's Barland. Cat Tips are our studio audience. Fox News News has a dream you, California. Listen ad-free

with a Fox News podcast plus subscription on Apple Podcasts. And Amazon Prime members can listen to this show and free on the Amazon Music app. From the Fox News Podcasts Network. Hey there, it's me, Kennedy, make sure to check out my podcast. Kennedy saves the world. It is five days a week, every week. Download and listen at Fox Newspodcast.com or wherever you listen to your favorite podcast.