Gutfeld! Monologues - DOGE Checks If You're Alive!

Episode Date: February 28, 2025

As seen on Gutfeld!, Greg comments on backlash to DOGE's simple requests of federal workers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Tucker Carlson said Ray Dalio is one of the world's smartest investors, but more important, he's likely the wisest. Make yourself read this book. That book is how countries go broke, the big cycle. In it, Dalio explains the mechanics behind big debt cycles, and what they mean for countries with big and increasing debts like the U.S. and what you should do to protect yourself. You can find it wherever books are sold,

or read a five-minute summary of the book at economic principles.org. All right, all right, all right. All right, okay. Stop. Look, stop. I know, you're just clapping because we have your car keys. So Jeff Bezos is launching an historic rocket mission in which Katie Perry, Gail King, and Lauren Sanchez

will be the astronauts in an all-woman mission. They're calling it the real housewives of Mars. Let's hope their first distress signal isn't, Houston, we have cramps. The mission will last four hours, but the women are expected to take six weeks to get ready. Also, there will be a booster rocket following their spaceship, carrying all their luggage. Because they're chicks. You know, the all-male mission, it didn't last that long, but that's because they didn't stop every 100,000 miles to pee.

Enough of that joke. Shall we move on? Okay. Two flyers on a Southwest Airlines flight were thrilled to learn they were the only passenger on the flights. Their joy wore off when they realized the plane was empty because someone had just used the in-flight bathroom. Yeah. Elon Musk defended his email demanding federal workers report their accomplishments, saying anyone with a heartbeat could complete it.

Well, there goes one guy. Columbia Police caught a man smuggling multiple packets of cocaine under his toupee. Well, Fox News really needs to start paying our host better. According to the Daily Mail,

Chris Jenner once gave her daughter, Chloe, advice on how to keep a man. Not sure she's the one to give advice. She couldn't even keep a man, a man. Love you, Caitlin. Don't ever change. According to the New York Post,

Monica Lewinsky claims that after the Bill Clinton scandal, she wasn't able to get a job. Probably because Bill Clinton ruined her interview dress. It could have gone in a number of directions. Gavin Newsom has announced a new podcast, imaginatively titled, This is Gavin Newsom, because Jackass was already taken.

Oh, man. According to the Daily Mail, JFK had a secret gay lover. Big deal. So to Michelle Obama. All right. If one of those doesn't get me fired, I'm safe. We'll be back with more Gutfeld.

Hey, it's Ryan Reynolds here from MintMobil. Now, I was looking for fun ways to tell you that Mint's offer of unlimited premium wireless for $15 a month is back. So I thought it would be fun if we made $15 bills. But it turns out that's very illegal. So there goes my big idea for the commercial. Give it a try at mintmobile.com slash switch.

A brunt payment of $45 for three-month plan equivalent to $15 per month required. New customer offer for first three months only. Speed slow after 35 gigabytes of networks busy. Taxes and fees extra. See mintmobile.com. This episode is brought to you by Amazon Prime. From streaming to shopping, Prime helps you get more out of your passions. So whether you're a fan of true crime or prefer a nail-biding novel from time to time,

With services like Prime Video, Amazon music, and fast-free delivery, Prime makes it easy to get more out of whatever you're into or getting into. Visit Amazon.com slash Prime to learn more. President Trump had his first cabinet meeting this week, and it was unusual for two reasons. First, he actually had a cabinet meeting. The only cabinet Joe Biden ever met with was the one that stored all his medications. And second, the whole thing was telling us. live. This administration is more transparent than the skin stretched across Pelosi's

cheekbones. I wonder, does Trump love all countries, frankly, all different? I love all countries, frankly, all different, but the European Union's been, it was formed in order to screw the United States. I mean, look, let's be honest, the European Union was formed in order to screw the United States. That's just the purpose of it. Yeah, in your face, Europe. Union? You guys suck. USA! USA! All right. And what would he be willing to do to support this European peacekeeping effort? What would you be willing to do to support this European peacekeeping effort?

Would there be... Again, you're asking me the same question. How many times you have to answer? You're talking about after we make peace. Let me make peace first. Once we make peace, I'll give you all the answers you want, but how many times can you ask the same question? Oh, I'm surprised he didn't end it with you dumb son of a bitch.

But he's a nice guy, unlike that old fart, remember him? But they can ask the same question all day forever, especially if it's a stupid one, which raises the obvious question. Has this country gotten bloated and fat and disgusting and incompetently run? This country has gotten bloated and fat and disgusting and incompetently run. Yeah, it's like the view became a country. But the biggest news from the cabinet meeting, the historic mineral deal Trump said he'll sign with Ukraine, which could mean five billion bucks for the U.S. Meanwhile, Putin's also offering our country Russian and Ukrainian minerals.

It's pretty funny. Trump's literally reframed. a war, turning a global foreign conflict into an episode of Celebrity Apprentice. Think about it. It's not shocking. You know, he proposed the same thing to North Korea and Gaza, because he knows if you want peace, spreading business works faster than spreading democracy. You turn a country into a committed trade partner.

You'll never get in a war with them. The Russia-Ukraine war has gone, hopefully, we hope, from a war to a competition, to be the business partner for the U.S. And as we've seen in this first month of Trump, he's treating the government like a business, too. Cutting the fat everywhere, 15,000 employees here, 10 to 40 percent of workers there. Trump's having so much fun with Dogey even invited Musk to the cabinet meeting. Hell, he doesn't even work there and he's willing to go into the office. Which freaked out the legacy media leftovers, of course.

He's not in the cabinet. What's he doing at a cabinet meeting? Well, I'll answer that question with another question. why was Dr. Jill running a cabinet meeting? In case she needed to do CPR? So how are the Dems handling all this? Well, not well. We've been hearing a lot about Doge resistance across the country,

angry constituents flooding town halls and Republicans facing angry voters. The narrative, even red states hate Trump. But as it turns out, those protests were as fake as a seance led by Millie Vanilli. All right. They were organized by left-wing activists and the protesters weren't Republicans who assisted another charade from Soros and MoveOn.org. They're more underhanded than a trans person pitching girls softball.

That made sense, at least in my mind. When they can't convince people to behave the way they want, they pay them to. They engineer hoaxes, while the Trump White House takes them apart. See, under Biden, we learned that almost every accusation was a hoax. But under Trump, we find out that every corruption that the Dems denied turned out to be true over time. Biden was incapacitated. COVID came from a lab. Rachel Levine also came from a lab.

But this contrast reflects the difference between the party's souls. The soul of the Republicans right now is spontaneity. The soul of the Democrat Party is choreography, creating artificial, strictly manufactured narratives that make honesty impossible. Trump's approach is impossible to fake because you can't lie on the fly. You can't mastermind a cover-up when you answer every question quicker than a magic eight-ball that just did an eight-ball. What do the Dems have? Overwhelmed by reality, they rely on the same load-bearing phrases. dictator, fascist, authoritarian.

It's like a pre-recorded message coming from a wind-up doll that no child wants to play with anymore. They don't figure out some new words soon. This ugly doll of a party will end up in a trash heap at the local dump. And their only audience will be seagulls and rats. And they won't even buy their... Let's welcome to the guests! Listen ad-free with a Fox News podcast plus subscription on Apple Podcasts.

And Amazon Prime members can listen to this show ad-free on the Amazon music app. I'm Janice Dean. Join me every Sunday as I focus on stories of hope and people who are truly rays of sunshine in their community and across the world. Listen and follow now at Fox Newspodcast.com.