Gutfeld! Monologues - DOGE Strikes Back!

Episode Date: February 13, 2025

As seen on Gutfeld!, Greg mocks the media for reading raunchy X usernames during live television broadcasts associated with DOGE.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Tucker Carlson said Ray Dalio is one of the world's smartest investors, but more important, he's likely the wisest. Make yourself read this book. That book is how countries go broke, the big cycle. In it, Dalio explains the mechanics behind big debt cycles, and what they mean for countries with big and increasing debts like the U.S. and what you should do to protect yourself. You can find it wherever books are sold,

or read a five-minute summary of the book at economic principles.org. Oh, I hate you. Oh, that on you. All right, all right, all right, all right. Your applause is expected. So a 19-year-old man known as big balls. is now advising the State Department. Coincidentally, Big Balls

was also the Secret Service code name for a former First Lady. Oh, I know your sweet spot now. Defense Secretary Pete Heggs have changed the name of Fort Liberty back to Fort Bragg. Now, if you can just get Alvin Bragg to change his name to Fort Bragg. Fort, fat-ass bitch.

George Stephanopoulos is rumored to be miserable on the set of Good Morning America. Yeah. Apparently, they have to keep flossing him out of Michael Strayhan's teeth. Duff. I love Michael Strayan. According to one expert, the Trump administration is. set to open the floodgates on UFOs. It's about time.

Maybe they'll stop blaming me for all those anal probes. The NFL has revealed that the Palestinian protester at the Super Bowl halftime show was actually a dancer hired to perform at the event. Even more surprising, the quarterback for the chiefs was actually Liz Warren. Democratic Senator Chris Coons defended the use of taxpayer dollars to, create an Iraqi version of Sesame Street. It's hard for him to be objective, though, because, well, you know. According to Doge, USAID paid terrorist Anwar Al-Locki's tuition at Colorado States. He chose Colorado State because the mascot reminded him of his girlfriend.

Solid. And other sports news, according to the Washington Times, USAID gave $6.3 million to study men having sex with other men in South Africa. I know. I had no idea we funded soccer. And finally, due to Listeria concerns, the FDA has recalled more than two million. donuts. I know. Or some people call it breakfast. All right. So, removing your anatomy isn't enough for the academy. True in Hollywood, you can change your sex, but you can't change your past, which means it's time for. Assembled together in one place, the greatest segment in cable television. Trans Tuesday.

But it identifies as a Wednesday. Happy Trans Tuesday that identifies as Wednesday. Tonight I speak of the Oscar-nominated film Amelia Perez. It's about a Mexican drug lord who wants to ditch his criminal past by transitioning into a woman. Yeah, the bright side is there's now one more hole to hide drugs. But because she was a man, and now a woman, you know, Hollywood's got to love it, even better. It's a musical. A musical with a trans star.

All that's missing is a rainbow caused by Jimmy Kimmel's tears. No wonder it's been nominated for 13 Academy Awards. Is this film any good? I haven't seen it. But have a look for yourself. I'd like to know about sex change operations. I see, I see, I see. Men to woman or woman to men.

Man to woman. From penis to vagina. Is it for you? For me? No. What would you like to know about it, madame? I want to know it all. What is the protocol?

The techniques and the risks. How many operations? How much time do you need? Mamoplasti, yes. Vaginoplasti, yes. Rhinoplasti, yes. Laryngoplasti, yes. Mammoplasti, yes.

Vasinoplasti, yes. Rhinoplasti, yes. Control laryngeoplasty. What is that? Adams apple reduction. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Hmm, jeez, who knew cutting off your junk could be so damn fun. They should have just called the movie It, but Stephen King beating it to it.

So there you go. It's got everything, meaning it's got one thing, wokeness. And once Hollywood heard it had a trans in the lead, they were on it like Amber Hurd's poop on Johnny Depp's bed. It's an easy move to get activists on social media blowing you kisses. It's low risk and it's high reward. It's like taking in foster kids. Well, you know, they don't work out. No one will miss him.

But then disaster struck, not the fires, but something worse, Twitter. It turns out Carla Sophia Gascon, who plays the lead, had posted some bad tweets a decade ago. back when Carla was a man named Carlos. See, those testicles will get you in trouble every time. In the resurfaced tweets, meaning somebody went and searched for them in order to ruin a newly successful person's life, Gascon had said things like, quote, Islam is becoming a hotbed of infection.

Are you sure Carla didn't mean Leo DiCaprio's futon? Gascon also criticized, Dear God, the saintly George Floyd. The tweets said, quote, I really think that very few people ever cared about George Floyd, a drug addict swindler. But his death has served to once again demonstrate that there are people who still consider black people

to be monkeys without rights and consider policemen to be assassins. They're all wrong. Hmm. There's some nuance there. The more I read of these, the more I'm starting to like this broad. I mean, her tweets could have more jokes involving poop,

but I've read worse. But like that homeless guy, I liquefied, this put the virtue signalers in a jam. We'll be back with more Gutfeld. Flying first class with Alaska Airlines isn't just about getting there. It's about enjoying the journey. Stretch out with industry leading legroom. Sink into an adjustable headrest and cozy up with a custom filsen blanket on long flights. Savor hot fresh meals, never frozen.

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That was for Joe Mackey. They probably hadn't even seen the movie, but they had to support it or else. Then those tweets appear, and the left began eating their own faster than Joy Behar and Anna Navarro stuck in an elevator. Descone's movie. got all those nominations because she ticked the box, and now those who obediently nominated her are boxed in themselves. And the tweets, honestly, weren't that bad, just opinions separate from the actor's work. But Hollywood is a coward's industry. They'll do whatever protects their status and nothing more. So Gascon has since been banished from the movie's Oscar campaign, which is now

all but dead. Her co-stars are distancing themselves from her like Alec Baldwin at a gun range. Selena Gomez is about to burst into tears again. She cries more than I did during childbirth. A lot of powerful Hollywood libs lifted Gascon up because of identity politics. And now identity politics has forced them to tear her down. They wanted a trans figurehead, then acted shocked when she turned out to be a complicated person who had some opinions they disagreed with. It must be exhausting to navigate the liberal hierarchy of victimhood.

Trans people are always the victims unless they piss off even bigger victims. And if you don't know who the biggest victim is in any given situation, well, then you're the bigot, which raises the question. Who is really worse to trans people? Conservatives who want to keep you out of women's bathrooms or liberals who want you to keep from thinking. Listen ad free with a Fox News podcast plus subscription on Apple. podcasts. And Amazon Prime members can listen to this show ad-free on the Amazon music app. It's Will Tane Country. Watch it live at noon eastern Monday through Thursday at Fox News.com or on the Fox News YouTube channel. And don't miss the show. Listen and follow the podcast five days

a week at Fox News Podcasts.com or wherever you download your favorite podcasts.