Gutfeld! Monologues - Doomsday

Episode Date: May 21, 2026

As seen on Gutfeld!, it’s the series finale of ‘The Late Show with Stephen Colbert’ ! Meanwhile, ta U.N.-backed climate change panel retracts it’s doomsday prediction, and Greg has the exclusive details you won’t want to miss! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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I wish I could take all of you home with me. And some of you, I will. Good evening, everyone. So tomorrow is the series finale of the late show with Stephen Colbert. I was just talking about it this morning with my Uber driver, Stephen Colbert. With New York City temperatures hitting 96 degrees, the demand for electricity is so high. It even caused a blackout in California. In a recent interview, California Governor Gavin Newsom said,

we will lose our country if we don't fight fire with fire, which is coincidentally how they fight fires in L.A. Comic Con, the convention that celebrates comics, science fiction, anime, and gaming is now coming to Abu Dhabi. The good news is terrorists won't have to blow themselves up to see 72 virgins. We'll just can joke about that. Hot dog eating champ, Joey Chestnut, just pleaded guilty to misdemeanor battery.

But he shouldn't worry in prison, who's going to be more popular than the guy who could swallow 70 hot dogs? Friend of the show. As part of the Venice Arts Festival, a female performance artist submerged herself in a clear tank filled with recycled urine collected from patrons,

or as they call it at Motel 6, a hot tub. Today, oh, this is amazing, is National Women in Aerospace Day. I know. It's the day we honor the women who cook, clean, and shop for the men in aerospace. According to newly discovered fossils, tiny mammals lived alongside dinosaurs 73 million years ago. And even more startling, tiny mammals continue to live inside present-day dinosaurs. And finally, A customer bought a bag of lettuce from an Australian grocery store and discovered a live frog inside.

Joy Behar said, that's disgusting. Who eats lettuce? We'll be back with more Gutfeld. This episode is brought to you by Nespresso. Hear that? That's your next obsession. Every coffee, a new world. Every sip, a new taste.

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After decades of screaming that the planet is six minutes away from extinction, the UN-backed climate change panel just rescinded its doomsday predictions. Turns out the so-called model they used for years, which projected massive sea level rises, global crop failures, and rapid melting of glaciers was about as authentic as Ilhan Omar's marriage. True. The 99% of scientists who once claimed the debate was over

changed their minds. And why not? Hell, climate change hasn't even killed Keith Richards. And if you hate polar bears, I got bad news. The only thing endangering them is RFK-E. Junior's appetite. So America's fine, except of course, we're poorer for it because we paid for the fake fear by the billions. So where did it go? We can see where most fraud is now, California, Minneapolis, Ohio. But what about this? Who got paid? Was it all the people who told us that by

2025 Miami would be Atlantis? Children would bike to school in scuba gear and Irish people would burst into flames at the beach. Al Gore got rich predicting the earth would become a rotissory chicken by now. But where is he now? Talk about extinct. The last time I saw him, I had a soul patch. Those are the days. In reality, climate hysteria has been the greatest white collar scam since Columbia House offered me 12 CDs for a penny. NGOs, consultants, green energy middlemen, carbon credit traders, university departments, activists flying private to save the planet, everybody got paid.

Meanwhile, birds and whales get slaughtered by windmills. Fields are covered in solar panels and were forced to use paper straws as limp as my wrist during Pride Month. And our pockets were getting picked throughout. Remember the Inflation Reduction Act? The most misleading name since Magic Johnson. Nothing magical about that. They told us it was about lowering costs and helping families and fighting inflation

when it was really about funneling billions into a massive scam. And no surprise, it caused inflation to shoot up like Nikki Six and a backstage porta potty. What a surprise. The thing that Democrats named to fix a problem. made the problem worse. And when it was too late to do anything about it, old Joe admitted the con. I'm proud to announce that my investments,

that through my investments, the most significant climate change law ever. And by the way, it is a $369 billion bill. It's called the... We should have named it what it was. Yeah. But you didn't. You called a $400 billion slush fund for climate Huxter

and inflation bill so you could get away with it. And if you were questioned about it, then you were called a Nazi, which is why this UN reversal matters. Because it was never about morality. It was about money. They used fear of an imaginary problem to take your money and control everything in your life, your gas stove, pickup truck, burger. Ever notice how the things they targeted the most are things uniquely American? I'm surprised I didn't make the list. Meanwhile, they had kids so scared that young people who started out looking like this suddenly started looking like this. A massive survey of 16 to 25 year olds found that more than 50% reported feeling anxiety, helplessness, and guilt over climate change. It's the kind that affects their daily functioning.

It's so bad I no longer hire them to walk on my back. So the UN is backing off after calling you a climate denier as if questioning the faulty models is like denying the Holocaust. But no big apology, no refund check, no our bad. Because in the end, they got what they wanted. The motive wasn't the environment, it was greed. The instrument was fear. Once panic becomes an industry, there's no incentive to calm people down.

That's why every Dem crisis now comes with a consultant, a nonprofit, a celebrity telethon, and a 900-page spending bill. Every apocalypse is a business model. And for the climate change scammers, no business had been hotter than the end of the world. Listen ad-free with a Fox News podcast plus subscription on Apple Podcasts. And Amazon Prime members can listen to this show ad-free on the Amazon Music app.