Gutfeld! Monologues - Fleeing Trump

Episode Date: December 11, 2025

As seen on Gutfeld!, Greg mocks a recent piece in the 'New Yorker' called 'How To Leave The USA' which focuses on American liberals fleeing America to get away from Trump. Greg says these crazed liberals will still be obsessed with Trump even if they move overseas. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Thank you. I'll see you back at my place. Little garage karate. Happy Wednesday, everyone. No, no, no, no, no. I've heard enough. In a recent interview, former Vice President Kamala Harris said, quote, there will be a marble bust of me in Congress.

And she added how cool it is that they can carve on something as small as a marble. Because she's stupid. This week, RFK Jr. and Sean Duffy had a pull-up contest at the Reagan airport. Meanwhile, Joe Biden held a sit-up contest, meaning he sat up. Netflix will be premiering a new film about a trans chick working in an Argentinian coal mine. Yeah, it's called the Queen of Coal, which isn't as good as their original title, Shaft. Speaking of, former first lady Michelle Obama slammed aging leaders for holding on too long.

To which Joe Biden responded, tell that nurse to shut up. I think she's stealing from me. Sopranos. Gavin Newsom claimed his hair literally burst during the Palisades fire. I know you're thinking his hair looks fine, right? Well, he never said it was on his head.

Boy, tough crowd today, huh? I'm too cool to laugh at these jokes. Former Jeopardy champ, Joey DeSaino, was arrested on charges of felony secret peeping using hidden cameras in private spaces. Rookie mistake. My bathroom cameras are always visiting. According to the Daily Mail, Ilhan Omar told friends years ago that her second husband was, in fact, her brother.

The wedding guests were tipped off when the couple's first dance was to, we are family. Thank you. Worse, when they later got divorced, she said, I think it's best that we see other siblings. And finally, actress Kate Winslet recently. revealed that rapper Eminem once asked her to shave his butt. See, Dana, it's not that weird. She won't be watching. We'll be back with more Gutfeld.

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So the New Yorker just ran a piece this week called How to Leave the USA, focusing on an organization called GTFO, which helps terrify. Liberals flee Trump's America. And one of the places they're helping people move to, the Netherlands. A place whiter than Brett Bear's teeth. A place so white it makes Dana Perino look like Jasmine Crockett. A place so white it makes Sweden look like the birthplace of hip-hop. Yep, they're fleeing Trump,

the man who would be king for the Netherlands. A place that has a king will, Alexander. The Netherlands, yes, has been a constitutional monarchy since 1814. It even has a coat of arms. But they left all of that out of the article, along with the crowns, the scepters, and of course the incest. Wow. So the big question is, what are these Americans escaping? Because nothing's actually impacting them except their own mental state. The only border crisis they personally experienced is the one between reality

and Rachel Maddow. These people aren't political refugees. They're running from their own minds. They need a restraining order from themselves. And they're pulling what addicts call a geographic. It's when you think that by moving to a new town,

your obsession won't follow. But give a meth head 48 hours in any city, he's going to find a connect. It's like Joy Behar, sniffing out truffles. Now they're coming to life. Really rude. And with Trump derangement addiction,

you can find a headline, an essay, a tweet, hell with modern technology, you can still get a steady drip of Joy Reid no matter where you move. So let's take it from the immortal words of Peter Weller. Remember, no matter where you go, there you are. It's true.

Bukkirai Banzou. Buckaroo Banzai. But it's true, you're still you wherever you are, with the same obsessions, fears, and anxieties. Look at Rosie. Three words guaranteed to cause erectile dysfunction. She crossed the Atlantic with Captain Ahab in hot pursuit, and she's more miserable than ever.

And that's saying something. The last time this broad smiled was when she was in fifth grade when a nun forgot to wear underwear. But Trump lives in her head. So where she goes, so does Trump. He's like a cat in a pet carrier, and that pet carrier is her brain. In this article, one woman claims

that the more she read about Trump, the more she foresaw martial law. Another wants to leave Texas because her country music band was, quote, all maga now. Honey, that's called living in Texas. That's like going to the BET Awards and wondering why you're the only one in khakis. Now, these chicken littles could all just take a break from CNN or MSNBC, but that's too easy. And they're addicts and they're very dramatic about it. So they must move and they tell everyone why they're moving. It's all drama-driven hysteria.

Because if you're leaving America for no physical reason, there's no violence, no disaster, no danger, then the cause is purely psychological, meaning you're going to bring it with you. Your body gets on the plane, but your brain stays right here soaking an obsession. These people aren't escaping Trump. They're escaping the fantasy of Trump, the version of Trump. They built out of headlines, hashtags, and memes. They can pack their bags, but they can't unpack this heavy emotional baggage. The problem is in America, it's them.

But here's what really kills me. There are plenty of places for these people to move in America that are super duper blue, and they're called cities. Deep blue dots on the American map. But that's somehow out of the question. Why? Is it because of the crime? The cost of living?

The corruption? Probably. Yet none of that is Trump's fault. It's all due to the beliefs these lives have always supported, beliefs that they plan on taking to the Netherlands. To which I say, God save the king. Listen ad-free with a Fox News podcast plus subscription on Apple Podcasts. And Amazon Prime members can listen to this show ad-free on the Amazon music app.

This is Ainslie Earhart. Thank you for joining me for the 52-episode podcast series, The Life of Jesus. A listening experience that will provide hope, comfort, and understanding of the greatest story ever told. and follow now at foxnewspodcasts.com or wherever you listen to podcasts.