Gutfeld! Monologues - George Clooney's "Civic Duty"

Episode Date: April 19, 2025

As seen on Gutfeld!, Greg riffs on George Clooney’s Biden flip-flop and mocks the Democrats’ search for a 2028 frontrunner. Plus, he unloads a rapid-fire batch of Friday leftovers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Tucker Carlson said Ray Dalio is one of the world's smartest investors, but more important, he's likely the wisest. Make yourself read this book. That book is how countries go broke, the big cycle. In it, Dalio explains the mechanics behind big debt cycles, and what they mean for countries with big and increasing debts like the U.S. and what you should do to protect yourself. You can find it wherever books are sold,

or read a five-minute summary of the book at economic principles.org. All right. All right, okay, okay. Yeah, stop. Stop! All right, all right, all right. I guess you guys like that pre-show back rub. It's Friday, so you know what that means.

All right, before we get to some news stories, let's do this. Bregg's leftovers. It's leftovers where I read the jokes we didn't use this week, and as always, it's my first time reading them, so if they suck, we'll dress Joe Mackey up as an Easter bunny and send them to Afghanistan. Yeah, they don't celebrate Easter there. The Utica Zoo in New York announced they're using drones to search for an escaped beaver.

Using drones to find beaver, of course, was first pioneered by this man. To prepare for her trip on the Blue Origin rocket, Katie Perry said, quote, she read a book on string theory. We're told she thought it was about the effects of zero. gravity on tampons. Speaking of, there's a new conspiracy that the Blue Origin crew faked their flight to space. But come on, what's fake about this astronaut?

The Kardashians gifted Lauren, that woman there, a $7,000 purse after the space flight. not to be outdone Oprah gifted Gail King a replica of the blue origin rocket That was a night I won't forget On this day in 1995 New York City installed the first walk door don't walk street signals, to be replaced in 2020 with this signal. Earlier this week on the view, Whoopi Goldberg actually agreed with President Trump's

plan to get rid of the education department. Joy Behar was so upset, she stomped her hooves and charged. Can't all be winners. Despite the popular five-second rule, scientists have determined that no amount of time is safe when it comes to eating off the floor. Well, that's a risk I'm willing to take, said one man. A woman in Spain pretended to be mute for 16 years to collect a disability pension. Yeah. Shut up. Shut them all up. Wait. She didn't talk for 16 years. She didn't talk for 16 years. years? That doesn't sound like a disability. Sounds like money well spent. A sexist would say. And Michael Malice. Drew Carey was spotted having lunch with an OnlyFans model this week.

Two months after he said he had no interest in dating. Well, I guess the price was right. Do I have to explain what OnlyFans is to this audience? All right. In the Miss Maine contest, a Identified Male will compete against Jordan Hudson, the 24-year-old girlfriend of 73-year-old Bill Belichick. Now, Jordan has to deal with two guys who can no longer get it up. Joe Biden is asking for $300,000 per speaking appearance, but so far has found very few takers. Well, unless they're undertakers. During a hard landing in Puerto Rico, a wheel broke off a Frontier's airline's flight. Happens to me every time I fly, said one passenger.

A trans athlete recently won the main state title in pole vaulting. The impressive part is she did it without any hands. Large penis joke. A 45-foot statue. who of a nude woman is sparking controversy in San Francisco, with local residents demanding to know, where is her penis?

A knife-wielding Florida man with a last name, cocaine, was arrested for threatening subway employees. Ironically, the subway employee's last name was horrible sandwich. All right. I like Subway, too. An adorable tiny pygmy falcons.

chick hatched at a Texas zoo. I know. Here it was five minutes later. We'll be back with more Gutfeld. Prime delivery is fast. How fast are we talking? We're talking puzzle toys and look pad

delivered so fast you can get this puppy under control. Fast. We're talking chew toys at your door without really waiting fast. P-pads, cooling mat and peg-hammer, fast and fast in those training T-R-E-A-T-S, faster than you. You can sit fast. And now we can all relax and order these matching hoodies to get cozy and cute, fast. Fast free delivery.

It's on Prime. Hey, it's Ryan Reynolds here for Mint Mobile. Now, I was looking for fun ways to tell you that Mint's offer of unlimited premium wireless for $15 a month is back. So I thought it would be fun if we made $15 bills. But it turns out that's very low. illegal. So there goes my big idea for the commercial. Give it a try at mintmobile.com slash switch.

A prompt payment of $45 for three-month plan equivalent to $15 per month required. New customer offer for first three months only. Speed slow after 35 gigabytes of networks busy. Taxes and fees extra. See mintmobile. com. Florida woman was arrested for selling a 500-year-old bone. Wow. Who knew they were breaking the poor guy down for parts?

Make more money that way. The man who spent $16,000 on a collie dog costume will have to close his zoo due to no bookings. One woman offered to put him down. Oh. Oh. Oh. Finally at Disneyland, a Canadian guy was arrested for walking around naked.

To be fair, though, it's not unusual to see someone at Disneyland without pants. But it was even more humiliating for the naked man's arrest. When the tourists started seeing, it's a small world, after all. All right, to the monologue. Wake up, people. This is good stuff. Tonight, we check in with the poor man's Greg Gutfeld, George Clooney. Remember, he wrote a scathing op-ed prior to the election calling on Joe Biden to drop out? And this week, he took to CNN, the only place he's seen less than in his own movies to gloat. God, I hope Jake,

God, I hope Jake Tapper doesn't plant his lips firmly on George Puckered ass and tell him he did something that a lot of people call brave when he wrote his op-ed. You yourself did something that a lot of people would call brave when you wrote your op-ed. Well, I don't know if it was brave. I don't know if it was brave. It was a civic duty when I saw people on. my side of the street, I'm not telling the truth. I thought that was time to... Are people still mad at you for that? Some people, sure.

Yeah, well, man. Wow, if that's Clooney with makeup. Imagine what he looks like without it, huh? Now, remember, Clooney's the same guy who held a star-studded fundraiser for Joe weeks before he dropped out and only called for him to quit after his disastrous debate. Clooney ignored concerns over Biden's age for years, only to magically come to the conclusion that he was demented when America finally saw what Clooney had been hiding. That's the problem with Dems. They're obedient shills for awful people than pretend otherwise once voters see that they're full of shit. But remember, we were pointing out Joe's dementia before it was cool.

We knew Biden was the worst president ever, which probably means Jimmy Carter died a happy man. Right? Mr. P. Jimmy Carter died a happy man. You know why? Because he wasn't the worst president. Joe Biden was. We don't deserve him. Now, before returning to his exhibit at Madam Tussauds,

Clooney opined on the future of the party. I bet there's one person in particular, he thinks, is spectacular. There's one person in particular, I think, spectacular. There are a few who I think is levitating above that is Westmore. I like him a lot. I think he could be someone we could all join in behind. We have to find somebody. It's rather soon. It's our job now to put together a proper team to stand up because we're right now polling very poorly. I love that levitating above as opposed to sinking to the bottom like his last movie. But Dems always love to use deep-sounding words when all it does is remind us that

without a script they suck. Of course the Dems are polling at record lows, perhaps because their leaders keep embracing the wrong side of every issue, like immigration. A recent poll found that 74% of Americans favor deporting illegals who've committed crimes. You don't get that many people to agree on anything unless it's me wearing more tank tops. And because you ask, I will. Of course, the Dems are in a bind. The woman who lost all seven swing states to Trump is still a favorite. I mean, this is a chick who thought the rust belt was the thing Doug has to wear to keep from knocking up nannies. Oh.

Yeah. Comla's smile could kill the mood on a porn set. She'd get a DUI playing Mario Kart. Right behind her is AOC who's polling at 21% who is brain dead without having dementia. Even election guru Nate Silver thinks AOC could lead the ticket because she's young and media savvy. Never mind her contempt for capitalism, border enforcement,

and complete sentences. Of course, she also supports the Maryland dad, a suspected wife-beater and human trafficker. Some feminist, right? Why is it Democrat feminists never side with female victims, whether they're playing sports or jogging a lot? on a campus. Hell, AOC would ask for the mugger's pronouns before handing over her purse. So it's no wonder a Clooney is back. He's acting like a producer for a blockbuster with no

big-name talent. No Julia Roberts, no Tom Cruise. No, even Polly Shore. Hell, all he's got to work with is Gary Busey and the chick who plays flow in those insurance ads. But the problem isn't just the star, it's the plot. Seriously, what's their story? Identity politics suck the brains out of the whole enterprise, and they're finding out that who I am is no replacement for what do I believe or what do I do. Wokism drove all credible candidates away, leaving you with intersectional idiots. So who's left to cast for this movie? Should your leading lady be Dylan Mulvaney? Your action hero, Rachel Levine? Don't forget your trusty, scientist, his sidekick.

Sadly, George is trying to find a marquee name to front a dreadful remake of Heaven's Gate. And I don't mean the movie. I mean the cults. And those men cut their balls off too. That's true. Listen ad-free with a Fox News podcast plus subscription on Apple Podcasts. and Amazon Prime members can listen to this show ad-free on the Amazon music app.

Hey, I'm Trey Gowdy host of the Trey Gatti podcast. I hope you will join me every Tuesday and Thursday as we navigate life together and hopefully find ourselves a little bit better on the other side. Listen and follow now at foxnewspodcast.com.