Gutfeld! Monologues - GOP Hopefuls Went Face To Face In The Battle For Second Place

Episode Date: December 9, 2023

As seen on Gutfeld!, Writer and Comedian Joe DeVito, former Deputy National Security Advisor K.T. MacFarland, FOX News Contributor Kat Timpf, and FOX News Contributor Tyrus discuss Wednesday's GOP debate hosted by NewsNation. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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or read a five-minute summary of the book at economic principles.org. Let's welcome tonight's guest. His shows are always packed with empty seats. Writer and comedian Joe DeVito. She's the former official whose name has two initials. Former deputy national security advisor, K.T. McFarland. Like a police artist's drawing, she's pretty sketchy. New York Times best-selling author and Fox News.

contributor, Kat Tiv. And even his small talk is gigantic. New York Times, bestselling author, comedian, and former NWA World Champion Tires. Joe, do you think this is a sound strategy? Just dismiss it as a pack of lies because he just assumes that the media is not going to chase it down. There's no Woodward and Bernstein left to follow up.

No, but he's looking worse and worse with his denials. I mean, usually when Joe Biden says he has no memory of something, I'm inclined to agree with him. Yeah. But this now, his reactions are getting slower and slower when they bring this up. This one, he looked like Mitch McConnell at a rave. He just kind of seized up. The big question, and I always have to ask this, is we know this money is circulating. This money's been moving around.

What is it that Hunter Biden does for a living? What is the service that the Bidens provide, that all? All of this money has to keep going to different bank accounts. What does it say on his resume? Yeah. What is a party planner? I could see him being a pretty good party planner. That's what all the shell companies were for, right?

Just because it could never say what he does except to move the money from one shell to the other. And if it's legit, you don't have fake email addresses for, I mean, I think was it Joe Biden at Hotmail or Carlos Danger 2? Was that available from you? So, yeah, I don't know. I wish they would treat this seriously because they didn't. do a very good job of covering their tracks. Yeah. Do you remember, KT, when they always talked about how Trump would be a security risk? Yeah. Look at all of this. I mean, you could, I mean, one could make a case that

were in this war with Ukraine because of a relationship. You would make that argument. I would definitely make that argument. Thank you. Because I was there when he said at the Council on Foreign Relations that he got the prosecutor fired for trying to look into corruption. No, but the tragedy of this is is he's going to get away with it, and here's how. He'll be subpoenaed. They'll all be subpoenaed, but they'll not show up

or they'll have excuses or they'll have delays. And unless the Justice Department is willing to prosecute them for disobeying the subpoena, it all goes away. They'll just string it out and string it out and string it out. The only thing that changes is if a Republican

comes in and a different attorney general, and then they've got the brief. They know exactly where everything went. They know how to follow the money. But I really think that the Biden gang, they all figure they've gotten away with it. It's so in your face. They're not even trying to cover it up anymore. They just know they've gotten away with it.

Keep going. There's nothing anybody wants to do but get close to Hunter's briefs. Yeah. You know, I don't know if I made sense there, but who cares? Yeah, it's so clear this isn't about Hunter, really. It's like, it's really about that. Hunter was just making it rain for his dad. You know, what it's about for me, it's about Obama, and it's about that time period, because that's when all this shit went down.

So America has its first black president, and he's the vice president who was supposed to be there for experience and show how he supported positive change. He knew, his team knew, that Obama was going to be under scrutiny for everything. Anything so Obama had to be absolutely perfect, right? They watched everything he do. He took that period of time to be as corrupt as he wanted to be, because he was going to be. Because he knew that anything he did corruption-wise was going to fall on Obama. And Obama's team was going to make sure that nothing bad happened during their presidency. So they let him carry on with this stuff.

They were aware of what he was doing. But the greater good was we can't have the first black president ruined and besmirched. So the punishment was you don't get to run. Go away. That's why they wouldn't let what was considered a successful term as far as America, whether you're a Republican or whatever, that he didn't run because he said, listen, you're dirty, you can't run. It's going to come out.

He didn't endorse him because we knew what you did. Then he went away and he came back. So that's the type of dude this was that he's always been dirty, but that's how sinister he is. Then the point of America is showing real change, he chose to be as diabolical as he possibly could. So yeah, he's going to get away because he has.

And whose fault is? I hate to say, it's Obama's fault, his administration's fault. They chose re-election and power over truth. So this is going to continue to go on. And he's so old that even if it comes out, what are you going to do with him? So what really just grinds me is that we're following the money and you see how cleverly because that's laundering when you go from place to place. What they're doing is you'll see a thing for $4,000.

You'll see a thing for $3 because when you find it, it was like, oh, it's only $4,000. You don't understand. That's the connection to the Halliburton. So, you know, what the hell of you're talking about? Menendez, right? He had gold bars as tall as me and stacks of money in his closet. And the best line was, oh, it's my savings over years. Huh, you son of a bitch, how come all the dollars stuck together and they're all new? If you were saving it for 30 years, wouldn't you have the old hundreds?

We're the old hundreds. Okay? So the paper trail is going to be thousands and hundreds. But there is stacks and stacks of cash hidden in places and all over check, go find corn pop, go look for all this. The reason why the dog's biting everybody because he's in charge of garden the safe. You know, this isn't anything new. It's kind of like what Tyra says. It's been like five, six decades.

Joe has kind of been living beyond his means as a senator. I mean, he's not living like a guy who makes that money. I know. I feel like it just has to be awesome to be Hunter Biden. Yeah. Right? You know this saying where it's like, nothing is certain but death in taxes? And we all hear that. We're like, oh, so true. Well, Hunter heard that. It was like, oh, yeah. I mean, he's just smoking crack for years, just crack, crack, crack, crack, crack.

And a room full of escorts, there's guns around. He's still alive in taxes. Why would he have to pay taxes? There's like a sugar debt. Normally if you have a sugar daddy, you have to have sex with him. Some guy, whatever they go, this is his name Kevin. He's not having sex with Kevin. But Kevin's going to do, he doesn't even have to bang Kevin to get Kevin to pay all of his taxes. He gets to use that money to bang the people he does want to bang.

I don't know how he pulled it off, but at the root of it, a lot of us have to be jealous. Because a lot of, I mean, I've had to face consequences for actions that are many steps below, smoking crack and up for five days straight with a bunch of guns and essence. around. And he's just like, yeah, well, you know. Yeah, it's true. What's the big deal? Yeah. Good point. Why? I can't believe he got sober. Why would you? What's how quiet Greg got when you hit about running around with crack and escorts and partying?

You see how quiet he got? He's like, yeah, yeah, that's, that's, and to be fair, there was no crack with Greg, okay? It was no crack. It was all menthol cigarettes. Oh, ho. That's called a deep tease. Up next, did debaters have a prayer. since you know who wasn't there. Your glasses. The best coast just got better. Introducing Quantum of the Seas sailing from L.A. this fall. Conquer next-level thrills on the boldest ship in the West,

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Ships Registry Bahamas. Thank you. GOP Hopefuls went face to face in the battle for second place. As the candidates flail away, the big dogs MIA. So last night there was a debate somewhere. I couldn't find it. But let's talk about it as if I did, okay? DeSantis and Ramoswamy went after Nikki Haley.

Chris Christie didn't speak for the first 15 minutes. And when he did, he defended Haley. Watch. And you have other candidates up here like Nikki Haley. She caves any time the left comes after her, anytime the media comes after her. These Wall Street liberal donors, they make money in China. They are not going to let her be tough on China, and she will cave to the donors. The only person more fascist than the Biden regime now is Nikki Haley who thinks the government should identify every one of those individuals with an ID. Nikki is corrupt.

This is a woman who will send your kids to die so she can buy a bigger house. In terms of these donors that are supporting me, they're just jealous. They wish that they were supporting them. I love all the attention, fellas. Thank you for that. This is the fourth debate.

The fourth debate that you would be voted in the first 20 minutes as the most obnoxious blowhard in America. So shut up for their life. Your version of foreign policy experience was closing a bridge from New Jersey to New York. So do everybody, a favor? Just walk yourself off that stage. Enjoy a nice meal and get the hell out of this race.

Enjoy a nice meal. Not a bad idea, though. Biggie Haley absorbed more shots than 50 cents. You'd hardly know. You'd hardly know she was down by 40. And of course, no debate would be complete without shots at Trump. Father time is undefeated. The idea that we're going to put someone up there that's almost 80 and there's going to be no effects from that. We all know that that's not true. I'm in this race because the truth needs to be spoken. He is unfit. Unfit. You know, I could just scroll away. We don't even need to point out that. You know, I could just scroll away. We don't even, we don't even need to point out that. You can even skip that

joke, too, because, you know, we are, it's, yeah, unfit. That's all I got to say. But to many, Trump's nomination is as a. Is it inevitable is Joy Behar blowing her New Year's resolution to give up lard pie. Lard pie. Axios, the website, not my Greek butler, is already imagining Trump's cabinet picks. Possible VPs include Senator J.D. Vance, Ohio, Arkansas Governor Sarah Huckabee Sanders, South Dakota Gov, Christy Knoem. The site also claims that Melania is pushing for Tucker.

Carlson. I said Tucker Carlson. Enough. Former senior policy advisor Stephen Miller could be in line for AG. And to head the Pentagon, Axios says it could be Senator Tom Cotton or the great former Congressman Lee Zeldon, one of our favorites. Ah, yeah, they're both nice.

And as White House chief of staff find this hard to believe, the gray-skinned goblin known as Steve Bannon. But it got me thinking, which is what I do good. What qualifies Axios to make these predictions when we could do just as well? For example, Secretary of Defense, Trump could go with someone with brains and brawn. Or head to the Department of Energy

and go with someone with loads of it. They get a lot of work, huh? And for VP, when a doubt just, go with the best-looking. Here's some other options, too. Attorney General, Judge Janine, she could do all her own executions. Secretary of Education, Tyrus,

because he's the only man that can pin Randy Weingarten. Whoa. And nothing inspires kids to learn like a folding metal chair to the cranium. And, of course, obviously, for the Secretary of Virginity, there's only one credible choice. right?

All right. Katie, you saw the debate, thoughts, prayers? Look, Donald J. Trump won that debate. I mean, none of them are going to, they're not ready for prime time in the sense of running for precedent. And, you know, the other thing is that

this Axios article of, oh, this is so sinister, Trump has this list of nasty people who are going to come in and do terrible things on day one. That's such a baloney. I know all of these people. Everybody was talking to each other. None of the half the people that he mentioned are not even on a list.

And in any event, every administration has a transition team. I was on the Trump transition team. And you have a list of dozens, hundreds, thousands of people who were going to come in. And so, Axio says, oh, this is so sinister. The Trump people are looking at all these names to fill those jobs. They're going to take over the government. Come on. Hillary couldn't have 10 times as many people.

You know who should run the transition team? Caitlin Jenner. Oh! No one knows transitioning better. I think I'm stuck in this. Kat, let's be honest, you've thought about it. What would happen if he picks me into his cabinet, maybe perhaps as press secretary or just head of the whole press team?

I think I would do a great job, but it would probably destroy my life. What do you think? You wouldn't do it. There's no way you would do it. You would get a security clearance. Yeah, that's a great point. That's a great point. You don't think I would get a security clearance?

No. Really? All those movies in France. Not only that, but nobody loves gossip more than you do. That's true. Like, if you ever want everybody to know something, just tell Greg and tell him not to tell anybody. I would be a great press secretary.

You would get so stressed out by things that are much less stressful than being. I don't know how you're anybody's press. I don't know how Kaylee did it. I don't know how any press secretary does it. Especially because people, I heard people criticizing her back when she was press secretary one time. They were like, she just defends everything he does. That's her job, bro. Also, you know what?

When you see that room, it's very small. It is very small. It's not, like you watch the TV, you think it's a big deal. It's really not. I mean, this is a harder deal. I just don't even know that you could be your own press secretary. Could you imagine Greg with a dumb question? Yeah.

They ask him a dumb question? What do you mean by that? No. What does that mean? Why would you ask that? Are you doing this on purpose? I don't know what a flat tax is, lady. You would storm off and send everybody a scathing email.

Yeah. But he would be the king of daytime television as well as nighttime. And then I would come. He wants to be looking at my phone going, bro, I'm not your assistant. I don't know why they do the things they do. Listen, I would just like to be the ambassador of the Cayman Islands. I will hold that down. That's all I ask.

But Greg, you don't want to be hired for it. That's what makes me laugh so much about that story. Yeah. He fired everyone. He didn't care who you were. He didn't even fill all the jobs because he deemed some unnecessary. So you don't want to be the first part of the team, because you don't want to be the first part of the team, because you don't want to be. of the team because you're not going to make it right it's true he just didn't play

muci amarosa gorka it didn't matter who it was you know what I'm saying Amarosa like you might start out good you'll make a couple of mistakes and then you'll get the you're fired you know what I'm saying so if there was ever they're like oh there's so much turnover there's so much yeah because he didn't tolerate mistakes so you know what I'm saying so that doesn't matter who he hires in the beginning it's who's standing at the end yeah if your name ends in a vowel yeah Gorka, Scaramucci, Amarosa, McFarlane, Guff, D. And you stuck around, I think, right? I do it.

Haley McInney, why? Sometimes why? Not a vowel. Sometimes why. I'd say why not. Did you take a lot of cough medicine? Joe! You probably didn't watch the debate, so who can't?

I didn't. I think it was a mistake for him to show it on the UHF channel. I didn't have the rabbi ears. I missed the in-memorium for Doug Bergam's campaign. Poor Doug. Yeah. Yeah. What do you think of the...

I'll give you a last say on the predictions. I think we need to incorporate... The debates need to be more like a Japanese game show with trapdoors and things hitting him in the head for the wrong answer. I'm very disappointed with Vive for all the money he has. That was a pretty crappy sign. Yeah, it was.

That was a Charles Payne-level sign. Charles Payne is not known for his great signs on this show. Very disappointing reveal on that. But with the stuff about the cabinet, it's so bizarre that they act like Trump was president before. Yeah. We've seen, and they say, oh, it's going to be half the things they said, we know he wouldn't do because he didn't do them last time.

And the other things they complain about in this article, is stuff the Biden administration's doing now. Yeah, worse. Someone might weaponize the IRS and the Justice Department? Well, you don't need guests no more. It's already happening. Can I say something real quick? Something positive.

Okay. How awesome it is to see qualified people of diversity arguing about the greatest job in the world. I would like this. That's the one thing we need to give the Republican Party credit for. Even though they don't have a snowball chance in hell, they still get, no, but they still get the opportunity to try. And that's what it is to be in America. So we're out of time. Thanks to Joe DeVito.

K.T. McFarland, Katz. This I'm drinking for a little of you, America. Listen ad-free with a Fox News podcast plus subscription on Apple Podcasts. And Amazon Prime members can listen to this show, ad-free on the app. This is Jason Chaffetz from the Jason in the House podcast. Join me every Monday to dive deep. into the latest political headlines and chat with remarkable guests.

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