Gutfeld! Monologues - Greg's Take: Progressives Reset & Pick New Targets

Episode Date: August 15, 2026

As seen on Gutfeld! Greg talks democrats walking back on "woke". Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey y'all, it's Kelly Clarkson with Wayfair. Ever order furniture online and wonder what if? Like, what if it doesn't hold up? That sofa was four days old. You should have ordered from Wayfair. With Wayfair, there's no what if. Just style you love and quality you can trust. Visit Wayfair.com.

Wayfair, every style, every home. It never gets old, does it? Let's welcome tonight's guest. You might recognize him as the guy at the Hertz counter demanding a convertible seabring. Fox and Friends Weekend co-host Charlie Hurd. It looks like the guy who tries to sell you an electric tooth brush in the park. Comedian Jim Florentine.

In the military, he diffused bombs, which makes him perfect for this show. The Big Weekend Show co-ho shoddy Joey Toad. She had to stop going to the Olive Garden because she kept being mistaken for a breadstick. New York Times Best Song Author of Puck Tooseonsuit, Good, Drive, and Her Cat, Too. Now, before we get to some news stories, let's do this. It's leftovers where I read the jokes. We didn't use this week. And as always, it's my first time reading them.

So if they suck, we'll send Joe Mackey to Rosie O'Donnell's hotel room with a veal shank tied around his neck. In his first public event since ending his Senate campaign, Graham Platner will speak at a labor rally in Maine. And get this, everyone attending will receive a complimentary rape whistle. The search is on for Caroline Levitts. replacement and despite a massive pay cut, both Dana Perino and Kaylee McInney are battling to return just to get away from Brian Kilmeade. Democratic Senate nominee Abdul El-Said challenged his GOP rival Mike Rogers to a game of tackle football. One, wait, one-on-one man-on-man tackle football. It doesn't make sense.

Although it reminded one man of his honeymoon. I still. By the way, you know, the internet was amused over Abdul El-Said's blues clues parody video, except the part where he stones Dora the Explorer to Death for traveling alone. We'll be back with more Gutfeld. Hey, y'all's Kelly Clarkson with Wayfair. Ever order furniture online and wonder what if? Like, what if it doesn't hold up?

That sofa was four days old. You should have ordered from Wayfair. With Wayfair, there's no way. what if. Just style you love and quality you can trust. Visit wayfair.ca. Wayfair, every style, every home. The CDC named Mosquitoes has the world's deadliest animal, blaming it on 700,000 deaths each year, except for 2021 when another blood sucker came in first. To a new survey, college students with gambling problems are struggling with mental health.

Even worse, they had placed large bets that they weren't struggling with mental health. In gun news, silencers are now legal for small arms without federal registration. This will make it a lot easier to kill people in libraries, said one woman. McDonald's reportedly tracked customer loyalty that predicts how often they'd return or what they'd order. Meanwhile, Waffle House is tracking customers in order to return their teeth. They're getting fights all the time. Bank of America just committed to investing $250 billion in U.S. infrastructure,

and that's just to build a new wing on Nancy Pelosi's face. 45 years after a love sick John Hinckley tried to kill President Reagan in an attempt to impress Jody Foster, Hinkley's reached out to the actress again. Sorry, dude, you had your shot. I don't get it. Marco Rubio revealed that RFK Jr. travels with a full of sauerkraut, immediately triggering a travel warning advising that no one walk behind RFK. Uber is reportedly working on a tween ride feature for children ages 10 to 12. Yeah, it's meeting some resistance from parents since their tagline is get in that stranger's car.

According to Senator Ron Johnson, Dr. Fauci reportedly wiped nearly every contact from his COVID-era phone. Well, except one number he had on speed dial. And finally, a woman says she regrets getting a boob job made from a deceased person's fats. But I get it. When I'm on the five, I'm also carrying around a lot of dead weight. All right, so this week we heard some lefties backtrack on wokeism. Here's a taste. Do you think woke one was crazy? Look, I think that each person has a responsibility to tell New Yorkers

to tell Americans when they're running for office what they believe. And sometimes what you believe can change. It can develop. It can grow. And I know that there are some for whom they still believe in that. I've made very clear that I do not believe in defunding the police, that I will not be defunding the police. I have a local city councilman that has this saying woke one was crazy. Yeah, you're right.

Woke one was crazy. But I seem to remember you were one of the inmates in that loony bin. Now you're saying woke was just a phase where for one brief time you might have burned down a police precinct. But that total lack of judgment was so 10 months ago. Even Chris Matthews ain't buying it. They've listed what they believe in. Their chair made that clear. We're going to get rid of ice, not just ice.

We're going to get rid of the border. We're not going to have a border anymore. We're not going to effectively control people coming in and out of the country. We're going to get rid of prisons. You know, we're going to get rid of the Pentagon. You need an army. You don't not like to like to have an army, but you do need to have one. But the problem with the big tent defense is every Democrat,

has to defend all this crap coming from the left. You know, I'm not saying Chris is getting up there. But he looks like the guy who drank from the wrong chalice in Indiana Jones. But watching these people waffle over wokeism makes me think. Has there ever been a time when progressivism ever regressed? Think about it. They never say, let's dial it back. No, it's always, this is just the beginning.

It's the same thing I say when Bill Hemmer wakes up handcuffed to my basement radiator. The progs, by definition, see everything as a progression. So if you sense a pause, it's really only to reload. First, it's more diverse applicants for nursing. Then before you know it, they're hiring men. See, progressives treat present-day events as provision. even if today is their great leap forward. Because once a reform is in place,

they don't stop and admire their work. No, they'll say that the current state is still fraught with injustice. So yesterday's radical idea becomes today's baseline. What was once insane becomes normal. In the old days, if you cut off a healthy penis, you went to jail. Now you're called a plastic surgeon. Candidates like Abdul al-Said actually still believe this crap. Maybe that patient is under the age of 18, their parents as well, right?

And I believe that Medicare for all should cover all health care. Yeah. Yeah. Which is defined by what a patient needs in accordance with their doctor. So that includes reproductive rights, right? That includes gender affirming care. Blah, blah. By that effect.

Well, that's a long way from having your tonsils removed so you can eat your body weight and ice cream. Now look at the border. Watch old clips at Bill Clinton, Hillary Obama. They sound like Trump. We're a nation of laws, they'd say. Fifteen years later, you're a bigot for wanting to keep gangbangers out of your country. So how does this sneak by undetected? Well, the change happened over a period of years, and time gives them cover. They say time heals all wounds, but for Dems, time. slowly opens them up. The distance seeing is a tactical pause. They don't tone it down. They wait, win elections, then keep pushing. It happens with every issue. Civil rights used to mean no Jim Crow. Now everything from standardized testing to voter ID is racist. It's gotten so bad that I deliberately

stopped tipping just to fit in. Oh, racist would say. Racist. Criminal justice reform used to mean don't arrest people for smoking a joint. Now they'll set a dude free if he's only sucker punched 10 women. Environmentalists used to say, give a hoot, don't pollute. Now it's having kids will kill the planet. Abortion, it was once safe, legal, and rare. Now you can off a kid at nine months. Pregnancy is now an illness that abortion can treat.

And if you disagree, you're the monster. So when you see lefties backing away from woke, don't assume the party is getting less progressive. They're running toward the middle to full moderates. It's incrementalism by design. They got to trick you slowly. It's why Zohan launched just five city-run stores. Not because he's being prudent, it's because even he knows he can't go full-on-comy. Instead, you've got to open the door slowly a little at a time.

And before you know it, there it is. Sitting on your couch, drinking your beer, using your electric toothbrush as a prostate massager, which is why they said woke one, because there will be a woke two. The name's going to change, but it will still be progressive, progressively worse. Listen ad-free with a Fox News podcast plus subscription on Apple Podcasts,

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