Gutfeld! Monologues - Gutfeld On President Trump's Big Night 

Episode Date: March 6, 2025

As seen on Gutfeld!, Greg breaks down the biggest, funniest, and most iconic moments from President Trump's address to the joint session of Congress. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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or read a five-minute summary of the book at economic principles.org. This is going to be a new, yes, yes, yes. Good evening, everyone. So President Trump gave a speech last night to the joint session of Congress. There he listed his achievements and goals, and it was long, lasting more than 90 minutes. I'm told Rashida to leave

actually had to leave the room twice to shave. True, even Maxine Waters, wig turned gray. As you know, many of the Dems came to the event with signs and protests. Some even held up messages on a white, board at the beginning of the speech representative al green was kicked out of the chamber it's not his fault you know it's not his fault he thought walking with a cane

meant he could board his flight early I like that joke But many of the DEMs were restless, and some even walked out. Many wanted to, of course, but they couldn't get a tow truck. Nancy Pelosi was seen throughout the night with a disturbed and horrified expression. as the rest of the world calls it her face. Liz Warren was caught several times on her phone texting throughout the speech, and I think we know who she was trying to reach. Of course, like many Dems, Ilhan Omar held up protest paddles,

but in this case, she relayed a very personal message is. very very close family also during trump's address democrats failed to stand for lake and riley's family or a child with brain cancer not standing for a child with brain cancer that's like not standing for a child with brain cancer but i guess they only stand for people who are brain dead And finally, many Democrat women wore pink suits to protest for women's rights after having just opposed a measure to keep men out of women's locker rooms. Many suggest it's because that maybe the only opportunity they'll ever get to see an erect penis. So last night, the pirate ship sailed into D.C. and sacked the place.

You know that ship. It's the one all Washington has been fearing. And when they yelled, land ho, it wasn't because they spotted Jasmine Crockett. Yeah, Trump and his merry band took over the U.S. Capitol and planted their flag right in the center of Liz Warren's flat ass and claimed it in the name of common sense. Now, the whole thing got off to a rocky start when a homeless guy wandered in and defecated down his leg. Security guards generally escorted him out

and he was safely returned to the men's shelter for a free bowl of soup. But he wasn't the only casualty. Mike Johnson is still in the hospital to have that smile surgically removed. Same look I get when I let Kilmead's calls go to voicemail. But Mike should be. smiling, what turned out to be an amazing night for America, coincided with the worst night

for Democrats since Republicans canceled slavery. Trump laid out a list of things he's already accomplished that only a lunatic couldn't love. And the Dems showed the entire nation that they qualify. They were like the odd man out, much like Rachel Levine crashing ladies night at Gold's Gym. I know. Seriously, at what point do you go from opposing the other side to opposing good things? If a Republican showed up with a puppy, Nancy Pelosi would try to drown it, then Nadler would try to eat it. The Dems walked into a trap, a trap that turned out to be a mirror, and they became every bad guy in every movie when the good guys win.

But in this case, it wasn't a movie or a TV show, although it was nice to see Corporal Klinger from Mash in that. House. That's Democrat Rosa Delorio, or your kids know her as the lady who gives out pennies on Halloween. We'll be back with more Gutfeld. Prime delivery is fast. How fast are we talking? We're talking puzzle toys and look pad delivered so fast you can get this puppy under control. We're talking chew toys at your door without really waiting fast. P-pads, cooling mat and peg-hammer, fast and those training T-R-E-A-T-S faster than you can sit fast.

And now we can all relax and order these matching hoodies to get cozy and cute. Fast. Fast free delivery. It's on Prime. This episode is brought to you by KPMG. Making an impact is how KPMG helps make the difference. KPMG applies advanced tools and strategic. strategic thinking to convert data into actionable knowledge and deliver value by improving performance

through transformation, modernizing processes with technology, harnessing the power of data, navigating complex M&A transactions, and enhancing trust among stakeholders. Go to KPMG.us slash advisory to learn more. KPMG, make the difference. Nope, Trump outlined the vision for the world's most powerful nation, one based on common sense. if you believe in radical ideas like countries should have borders and women shouldn't have prostates, which put the Dems in the corner of their own design. So what's it look like when you're against the party of common sense?

Well, you look like this, a miserable collection of bone-dry karens. What sour faces, they look like the focus group for Brit Hume's nude calendar. There's no nude calendar. that is not true. I had nothing to do with that. No nude calendar.

I miss my good friend, Juan Williams. Now when Trump talked about all the good shit happening, the Dems just seethed. That was Liz Warren checking her ancestry.com results. There was so much steam coming from her ears, I thought she was sending smoke signals. and all that was left was Trump to call her out for sending money to Ukraine.

Do you want to keep it going for another five years? Yeah, you would say, Pocahontas says yes. I'm sorry, me very mad at Orntman. Meanwhile, Nancy nod through her mouth like it was a tough chunk of rice pudding. George Washington's teeth fit better, and he whittled them out of mahogany. Trump talked about a growing economy, balancing the budget, ending the war in Ukraine, all good things. I mean, how can you be against war? Well, it turns out the Dems are.

They held up little signs like they were at a cattle auction, which made no sense. The cast of the view was nowhere in sight. Trump claimed there was nothing he could do to cheer him up. Once again, I look at the Democrats in front of me, and I realize there is absolutely nothing I can say to make them happy or to make them stand or smile or applaud. Nothing I can do. And he proved that point.

They never once applauded even for good things. Although given their ages, maybe they were worried that clapping would turn off the lights. And when the time came, they couldn't even stand for a 13-year-old kid with cancer who made Trump, who Trump made his Secret Service agent. Wow, keep these assholes away from the Make-A-Wish Foundation. They'll tell the sick kids to get their affairs in order. Trump proved their point, his point, that Dems hate good things if politically it makes them look worse. It's got to be weird to go to bed every night, hoping for bad things to happen to good people.

Trump then read off a list of incredible waste of money that the Dems have been responsible for. It sounded like a mental patient had stolen my Amex card. Think about it. Right now, Americans across the country are thinking about how much they owe in taxes. And Trump reads this list off. I bet you can hear Jerry Nadler's butthole clenching into a sun-dried tomato, which, given his issues, probably an improvement. Overall, Trump crushed it.

but so did America, because when Trump does great, that means the country does great. That's what happens when you have a patriot in charge, the personal and the national align, which also means if Trump does poorly, so does the country. But that puts smiles on the face of Democrats. So what's it like to be them, to be the bad guy, to fight a smile when you see a kid with cancer, hug a secret service agent, to deliberately ignore the family of a murdered American female. We don't have to imagine what that's like. We saw it last night.

The pirates have boarded, and the Americans think it's glorious, but the Dems chose to walk the plank. Let's welcome tonight's guests. Listen ad-free with a Fox News podcast plus subscription on Apple Podcasts. And Amazon Prime members can listen to this show, ad-free on the Amazon music app. It's the Will Kane Show. Watch it live at noon Eastern, Monday through Thursday on Fox News.com or on the Fox News YouTube channel.

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