Gutfeld! Monologues - He's Retweeting A Muppet & Ready To Kick The Bucket

Episode Date: March 9, 2024

As seen on Gutfeld!, FOX News Contributor, Tyrus, Political Analyst, Charlie Hurt, FOX News Contributor Kat Timpf, and GOP Consultant Erin Perrine discuss if President Biden's blank stare is because his brain is full of air. Later, the panel discusses a swing and a miss on banning a famous kiss. Follow Greg on Twitter: @GregGutfeld Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Tucker Carlson said Ray Dalio is one of the world's smartest investors, but more important, he's likely the wisest. Make yourself read this book. That book is how countries go broke, the big cycle. In it, Dalio explains the mechanics behind big debt cycles, and what they mean for countries with big and increasing debts like the U.S. and what you should do to protect yourself. You can find it wherever books are sold,

or read a five-minute summary of the book at economic principles.org. All right. Yeah. I know. I know. I know. Let's welcome tonight's guest. His mind may be built for journalism, but his hair is built for hosting a game show. Fox News contributor, Charlie Herk. She's So Sharp.

Hemophiliacs filed a restraining order. Campaign communications expert, Aaron Perini. She's like GM. She's from Detroit with parts for many different factories. New York Times best-selling author and Fox News contributor, Catch him. And when he goes to lift weights, he used tectonic plates. New York Times bestselling author, comedian,

and former NWA world champion, Tyrus. He's retweeting a Muppet and about to kick the bucket. Drew Joe flaps his gums about cookie crumbs. Another day, another shining example of President Biden's laser-focused mental agility the White House keeps telling us about. Yesterday, he launched a task force aimed at lowering costs for American families. Hold on to your balance of nature, folks. I'm going to start your questions.

I'm going to trouble. What's your rest of the Tuesday voters? All right. Super Tuesdays, thank you. Thank you for voters. Thank you so much. Thank you all. Wow.

Wow. Wow. Wow. If Joe were a Walmart greeter, He'd say hello as the customers were leaving the store. Corrine Jean-Pierre says she has no trouble keeping up with this man, so maybe it's her who needs a cognitive test or two. I heard reporters are asked to refrain from holding up lights, so Joe won't walk toward him. Of course, Joe once again attempted to tackle shrinkflation, and you won't even notice what they're doing when they charge you just as much.

I don't even notice what they've done when they charge you just as much for the same size bag of potato chips only has a hell of a lot fewer chips in it. I'll tell you what, I'll tell you who did notice, the cookie monster. He pointed out cookies are, his cookies are getting smaller. Paying the same price. I was stunned when I found out that's what actually happened. You know you're in trouble when your party is enlisting a puppet to support a puppet. But both are cut from the same cloth. Like the Cookie Monster, Joe's also manipulated by someone off camera.

What's Joe got to say? Oh, yeah, yeah, believe Cookie Monster. He's a good guy, man. He came to this country legally, too. I asked him, why do you want to come to America? He said, I love cookies. I said, good enough for me. But he's voting for me.

Cookie Monster. All of them are. Him and all his friends. They better. I mean, think about it. They're all minorities, right? Cookie monster's blue. Oscar's green.

Snuffle up against he's brown. I told him, you better vote for me. Or you ain't colored. Aaron, is this going to be a trend? Are we going to see Biden talk about gay pride with Bert Nernie? He's going to do vegan rights with Miss Piggy? I mean, he could do the whole gamut. Oh, gosh, I don't, I hope not.

That really caught me off guard. There seems to be this trend now in the Muppets, right? You saw the LMO last week, and everybody was okay, and apparently the answer is collectively no, which makes complete sense because it's not about shrinkflation, it's about the fact that Joe Biden

has killed the United States economy single-handedly. You want to know why you're getting less bang for your buck because the American consumer is not standing up and saying, I'm not going to buy that anymore because I'm not getting what I want. If you want to make a change, D.C. is not going to do it. Haven't we learned that? D.C. is not going to, and it's certainly not D.C.'s role to step in and start dictating

how many cookies the cookie monster gets in a bag of Oreos. That's not their place. They've got to make sure they secure our freedoms and make sure this country is sovereign, which they're not doing under Joe Biden. He has single-handedly decimated this economy, and he's trying to distract by talking to a Muppet, who he probably does actually believe is a voter at this point. The fact that he was like, I was shocked. when I heard this.

Give me a break. Do you think he's got the Sesame Street vote all wrapped up? Does he realize it's a children's show and kids can't vote? So, like, I don't really take the bus anymore. But when I used to take the bus, sometimes there'd be like an old person at the same stop kind of just, like, babbling like that, you know?

Like, and the cookies, and there are more, more cookies before, and blah, blah, blah, blah. And you're just like, okay, yeah, okay. And you're just thinking your head, Grandpa is this. Yeah. Like, who's grandpa? This grandpa should it be sitting here waiting for the bus. Somebody come get your grandpa. Yes. I feel the exact same way watching the president of the United States. That it's painful. That cookie monster joke. I mean, it didn't really hit the way he wanted it. Oh, nothing did. It was a complete bomb. I mean, like, I'm going back on tour in a couple weeks. If I had a joke like that, I would remove that one from my set list. He keeps repeating it. The whole shrinkflation. It's his brain, Tyrus. It's shrinking. Like, I'm highly offended. Yeah. I'm upset.

I'm going to go off here in a little bit. Okay. You're the president of the United States, right? You're the top guy. You're the chief of America. You're America's grandfather. If you're going to talk about the American treasure that is the cookie monster, you have him next to you.

You're the president. United States and you're talking about the cookie monster and he's not there. We're being bold assuming that this is the actual cookie monster he's talking about. There could be a Puerto Rican cookie monster. Cookie monster could be his son's nickname for fun. Cookie monster. Yeah, exactly. So we're just assuming, we're just putting, we're just politicizing cookie monster. Maybe he wasn't there for a reason because he knows that he's got to sell, make and get cookies on both sides of the aisle. So how dare you put cookie monster in this political

bleak, leave him out of it, okay? The reason why the bags are small and there's no food in it is because you it up. That's why. We all know. Everybody knows. No one's going in their bag of chips going,

hey, Cat, I wonder why these chips aren't working. I know why. The economy sucks because grandpa is up. I don't need cookie monster for that. Elmo don't got to ask me how I'm doing. doing big birds snuffel up against stay in the back do your drugs we don't need you we all know what the problem is charlie it doesn't look good i mean it's just looking just watching it's like how can they do this it can't go this isn't going to go to november no i know i'm with you i don't see how it does

but you know in politics it's very simple uh you know horror films always beat children's cartoons And you've got Joe Biden here talking about shrinkflation with a blue cookie monster. And then you're going to have Donald Trump talking about an invasion at the border of people that Joe Biden intentionally let into the country, and they're raping children and murdering students in America. And you're going to have these going side by side. And no one is going to be going to the children's cartoon. Everybody is going to the horror flick.

It's the same thing with global warming. Why do Democrats always win on the issue of global warming? Because a catastrophe film always sells out. Nobody wants to go with no, everything's okay film. And that's what he's trying to do here. Oh, it's just shrinkflation. It's not a big deal. When Trump is going to be talking about the issues that people actually care about,

and it's going to be devastating for Biden and his little blue monster. Yeah. I guess we shall see. We've got to move on, Tyrus. But it's the wrong guy. You want to run stats. bringing the count, not cookie miles. Like, you don't, you know what I'm saying?

It's ridiculous. How many cookies we short? One cookie. Two, you don't ask you. Sorry. All right, up next, it's a swing and a miss on banning a famous kiss. Did you know that at Chevron you can fuel up on unbeatable mileage and savings? With Chevron rewards, you'll get 25 cents off per gallon on your next five visits.

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Iconic kiss photo band. Unband. Tyrus. This story is hilarious. Last week. and a VA official put out a memo banning the iconic BJ Day Kiss from all department facilities because it depicts a, quote, non-consensual act and is inconsistent with the VA's no tolerance policy against sexual harassment and assault. But after the backlash, her boss, he saw it on Twitter,

by the way, or X. He saw it on X, and he reversed the decision and unbanned the photo. Thoughts. They just leave Cookie Monster alone. It all spirals down from there. This, this again, at some point, we have to say no. The man was the adult in the room and said, no. We have no idea. He just came back from war. Yeah.

It means he survived. Okay? And World War II wasn't a video game. It was horrible. These young men and women went through. And he came through and the first thing he saw was a nurse who was happy to see him because if you come home from a war with a smile and on your face, which means you won.

So when everyone sees you, they say, yay, especially back then. And probably hug you or kiss you and be welcome back. I don't think as soon as that was over, she looked at him. He's like, you know, let's go to HR. I went in for a hug, and this guy went to kiss. He just risked his life

so we could all sit here in these little chairs and talk about cookie monster. I don't see her punching or scratching. This is a time when This isn't like today where we would all take pictures and videos. If she was in trouble, that whole fleet of real American men around there would have been like, hey, bruh. So, again, this is just this is what adults do when they're happy and they like each other and it's okay to kiss people.

It's fine. It's fine. Kat, were you offended by that photo? Well, I'm just really relieved that the VA doesn't have any other problems they could be solving. No more homelessness or addiction or mental health issue. I, it's really just, how dare you focus your, find me one veteran, one veteran who can say their biggest problem was seeing this photo who was sitting in a VA office and they say, I'm here to complain about the photo in the lobby.

Yes. Find me one and I'll go, I'm going to be myself. because I'm going to stand in that line with you. He's such a gentleman, Greg. He's even making sure he doesn't mess with her hair. His hands in a fist. I don't even do that. This dude has still had remembered common courtesy.

He's not all up in her hair, pulling her hair back. Look at his fist. I think it's offensive to pretend as if veterans don't sacrifice more and go through more. They don't have bigger problems than looking at this picture. Exactly. And the thing is, Charles, This happened because of end-wokeness on X, talking about it. The lady's boss, the lady who made this decision to ban it, her boss found out about it on Twitter.

Dennis McDonough, is that his name? Yeah, yeah. What do you think? Yeah, I mean, and I guess the larger problem here is the idea that we live in a culture in a time where this would even be like an idea that somebody would have. It's so incredibly stupid. But I also think that any time somebody wants to ban something, they should try it first. And the lady that banned it, has she ever walked through Times Square and locked lips with a sailor during Fleet Week? And I'm thinking probably not.

But if she has, and it was a bad experience, then maybe she would be the first person that would complain, maybe. It's an interesting experiment, an interesting experiment. That's the point you decided to go with. Yeah, I think it's a really good one, because I'm thinking that she's never been in that situation. You know, Aaron, maybe what was offensive about this picture is it depicts two genders. Yeah, uh-huh. It certainly didn't hit the woke meter at the VA, so they put out a memo to take it down. It's the most dumb, idiotic thing I've ever seen.

This is a victory photo. When people see this, they feel good about our country. This is a sailor coming home from war. And, in fact, those two people would go on parades together in the future. Her granddaughter came out and said, these people were fast friends. This was not an issue. This was not a harassment thing, which is what apparently the VA is writing memos about right now. But I will say, good on McDonough for turning around and saying, that's enough of that nonsense.

Let's get back to our jobs. And restoring a photo, to Kat's point, I find one veteran who's like, that's it, I'm out of here. I'm not going to the VA anymore. Maybe the guy who's standing in line waiting his turn behind because there's a little line me he might have been mad you know because they're it looks like they're going to be there a minute yeah it's uh it feels like the adults are coming back home you know but there's one yeah there's one and maybe there'll be more all right charlie heard errini got to titherto studio is out of the podcast and drink thanks and that time i'm going to get for a love you america listen ad free

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