Gutfeld! Monologues - How Much Did They Pay For Art By Coked-Up Monet

Episode Date: July 26, 2023

As seen on Gutfeld! FOX News Contributor, Kat Timpf, Comedian Joe Devito, Outkick Host Charly Arnolt, and FOX News Contributor Tom Shillue discuss how Hunter Biden is now a best-selling artist.   Later, the panel weighs in on the Carlee Russell adduction hoax. Follow Greg on Twitter: @GutfeldFOX Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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What's welcome tonight's guests, when it comes to play-by-play, she always slays. Out-kick host, Charlie Ardo. I recognize him from the cover of Lonely Bachelor magazine, comedian Joe DeVito. He's filled my shoes on Red Eye with cement. Fox News contributor Tom Shaloo! And she's like the month of August, hot and has killed many Floridians. Fox News contributor, Cat Tip.

He's the Van Gogh. of hookers and blow. Yes, the sun with no restraint trades favors for splash and paint. Hunter Biden's art sales have reportedly brought in $1.3 million according to internal gallery documents obtained by business insider.

And no, Hunter, it's business insider, not business inside her. That was pretty good, huh? You didn't know whether to laugh or be disgusted. That's always what I'm aiming for. One mystery buyer shelled out $875,000 for a set of 11 paintings. If my math is correct, that's way too much.

And it's a shame because if you buy 12, you would have gotten a free case of genital warts. Oh. And another buyer, Elizabeth Hirsch Neptali, is a Democratic donor friend who the big guy named to the Commission for the Preservation of America's heritage abroad back in July 2022.

Well, slap my ass with a newspaper and call me Fido. Ain't that a hell of a coincidence. So did she buy influence or does she really want to hang art in her house that appears to be made by a paint-flinging epileptic monkey at Sherwin Williams? The White House says there's no connection at all. And Naftali was recommended by none other than Nancy Pelosi. Yeah, hmm.

So I guess Pelosi obviously, were as dumb as Kamala. The fact is, the White House hasn't seen this kind of laundering since the day after Joe ate 15 pruned Danishes. That's cute. But hey, maybe Nancy's got a good eye for art, considering she looks like a late period Picasso. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

You know what kills me, Charlie, is that this is such a fun story. There's like all this stuff going on. You got sex, you got art, you got drugs. you got drugs. And we're the only network that seems interested in it. It's just like, how can you, this is the perfect summer story. It's the best reality show I've ever seen in life. But you have to hand it to Hunter Biden. I mean, he is a very lucrative businessman.

Think about all he's accomplished lately. He's an oil executive in Ukraine. He's a financier in China. He's a world-class painter, and he does it all on drugs. Yes, exactly. Which is incredible. I wish I could be so accomplished. No, I know. One day, you know what?

Meth, maybe. Try meth. Maybe. Maybe. Because he did a little meth, then. He did a little crack. I think if he combined the two, you might be, one day he'll be a success. Well, I mean, you could stay up for a lot longer, right? Get more done. It seems very productive. Yes, yes. You can take apart your toaster. Joe, are you surprised by the Nancy Pelosi connection? No, no. You make a lot of contacts when you've been in Congress for 150 years. It is, I agree with you that. We thought the Clintons were hillbillies taking over the White House. But it's unbelievable. It's a great scam.

The money laundering through art. I don't know what are these people write in the memo and their check, just like, don't spend it on crack. Thanks. I wonder where they display this art. It looks like something from under a bird cage. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do they have some sort of horrendous art collection where they put it on the wall? It does seem like something you would see in a, like, a giant, like skyscraper.

You know, when they buy stuff that's really bad and they put it in a hallway? that and they have somebody that buys that stuff. That's where this is going. Yeah, they do that to keep you moving. Yeah, exactly. It's so unpleasant to look at, so you have to go into another location. Yeah. It's interesting, though. You know, why doesn't, Kat, so now we do know that he's made money. Why doesn't he give this money to his baby daughter that he refuses to even acknowledge? Why hasn't that question been raised? I think you'll probably have to give some of it to her. I also just feel like we knew this the entire. time. I can't believe that they actually tried to tell us that there would be no way he would

ever find out who was buying these paintings. Because a lot of experts pointed out that, you know, expensive art can be a money laundering operation. But even if it's not, let's say it's like the most charitable reason is like, oh, there's a lot of reasons to buy art. You know, people just like art. One of those reasons is not ever to buy it and hide it and never let anybody see that you bought it. How would that even work? Like, he was always going to find out in some way unless they were, like, making people, okay, now you're going to buy this and put it under your bed. Like, we always knew that he was going to find out who bought it. Right. You know, Tom, it just occurred to me.

You're a painter. You are actually a pretty good painter. Well, well, thank you, Greg. I like to paint, but here's the thing. I could not, I would not feel right about selling one of my paintings for like $100,000. And mine are pretty good. They are good. These are terrible.

They are terrible. Like, the level of no shame. You used to say that you almost. admired him, you know, and I didn't really understand the joke until now, like, the level of shamelessness of Hunter, it's so high. Like, he should be so embarrassed. I'm starting to feel sorry for him. And it's because, you know, usually when you have presidential administrations, remember we had like Billy Carter and people like that that were kind of, and Roger Clinton, and they would kind of glom off the president. This is like the opposite. You know, we're all kind

of looking at Hunter as if he's taking advantage of his father. But in reality, the father has taken advantage of him. He's such a pathetic drug addict. Right. And this sick man, this Joe Biden, he's a real sicko. He sends him overseas to make money for him. Yes. He is using his son to make cash. That's how low this guy is. Yeah, you're absolutely right. And I do think that like Hunter has a weird superpower, right? It's called, it's like he doesn't have shame. Like imagine Tom, I think of you. Imagine. Imagine if everybody here knew what you would imagine. Imagine if everybody here knew what you look like naked. That's what Hunter has to, that's what I would, that's what Hunter has to deal like. All right, we got to do this again, Greg? Here we go. Yes. Yes. I do have a picture

of you shirtless. Well, I mean, I, in my book that we'll be talking about later. That's the reason why to buy that book. There's a great picture of Tom shirtless. It's, boy, here we're just sold out. Yeah, exactly. All right. Up next, we're making. Jokes about an outrageous hoax. Flying first class with Alaska Airlines isn't just about getting there. It's about enjoying the journey. Stretch out with industry leading legroom. Sink into an adjustable headrest and cozy up with a custom filsome blanket on long flights.

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Try it at Progressive.com. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates, price and coverage match limited by state law, not available in all states. Market and move on. Yes, time for market and move on. These are stories that are kind of interesting, but we just didn't really have the time to write about it.

All right, story one, this is kind of interesting. I'm going to go to you, Joe, because you seem lonely. Alabama nursing student Carly Russell, who went missing. for two days after making a 9-1-1 call about a toddler wandering on a highway now admits she wasn't kidnapped at all. Why do you think she did this? Well, first, she's no Jesse Smollett.

No, that's true. Now it's just what did the toddler say? This is MAGA country. You have to respect our intelligence a little bit more with your lies. I don't know why she did this, but she said she saw a toddler, and then she said that an older man with orange or red hair.

Now we're supposed to believe now Donald Trump is harassing people one-on-one. But the part that stood out to me was that they could tell that this didn't happen because there are cameras that didn't see a toddler there. So we have cameras on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere in Alabama. But in the White House, we don't have a camera telling us. Way to bring it back. That was a great insertion of red meat. I had no idea how you did that.

You know, you think about it. If it's an old, Tom, do you have red hair? Some say I do. I don't consider myself a real ginger. Excellent. Maybe it could have been Caratop. Yeah, I don't. You would find out in the nude photo in the book, though.

Yeah, this is true. Oh, yeah, that's true. That is true. How did the baby help? How did the baby by the side of the road help her get into the story? It was such a bizarre element. I don't know what she was going for. Yes.

The guy helped her climb a fence and then tied her up? She should, to be honest, look, I'm glad she's come clean, but she should have stuck with it. She should have said, no matter what happens, I still saw that baby. Yeah. She should have stuck with it. Because sometimes I think I see a baby. Was that a baby?

Oh, is a possum. You know, like. A hairy baby. It was a hairy baby with a tail. Wait, how often does this happen to you? I think I see babies. Is that a baby? You don't see babies all the time? Life is dressing.

No, I don't see babies all the time. I see babies when there are babies. Well, sometimes I think I see a baby, and then there's no baby. Well, you don't want to get it wrong. Yeah. I mean, if there's a baby in the middle of the road, you've got to adjust. Yes, I'm always ready. Drive around it.

Drive around it. These driverless cars, they won't care if it's a baby. No. That's my theory. Charlie, can you imagine a cop interviewing her, right? Like it's like, at some point you have to go like, okay, this is nuts, but you can't say anything about it. No, I mean, you have to keep your story straight to it. I mean, I just, what I can't grasp is that she has a boyfriend who's defending her after the fact, being like, everyone needs to get off of her back.

I'm like, sir, you are in for a life of just complete misery. If she makes up stories like this, what's she going to make up as far as your concern? Oh, but I also appreciated that she had time to stop for the snacks at Target. Yes. You know, dedication fueling your body before you commit. Oh, no, the boyfriend is terrified of her. Oh, yeah. Must be. He's probably beaten that man down emotionally within an inch of himself. I think he already broke up with her. Yeah, he's officially the ex-boyfriend. Oh. Do you see her parents on NBC? Not good. The mother is very upset, what she should be.

The father's like, what are we doing here? He's like, he knows that this was made up. All right, we've got to do the next one. This one's made for you, Kat. The IRS will end unannounced visits to most people. and businesses citing safety concerns for its officers. So that means it's our fault. It's our fault that the IRS will not be coming to our house unannounced because we might attack them. No, how kind of them to be like, we know how stressful a home invasion is for not only the homeowner, but the burglar as well. So what we're going to do instead is send you a note by mail so you can make an appointment to be robbed from. It's incredible.

I didn't even know, Charlie, that they make unannounced visits. I didn't either. Actually, is that part, is that, like, are you allowed to do that? Apparently, I was actually unaware, too, although I did then recall I had an anecdote from back in the day. Someone very close to me, I won't name names, but he was one of my, you know, one of my parents. He, so there you go. I just named him.

He told me that being visited by the IRS was like being visited by the devil. So I actually am happy for taxpayers who don't have to come face to face with. the devil anymore, you know, just getting a nice letter in the mail instead. You know, you would look forward to this, Joe, because you don't get any visitors. You're alone. You would invite the guy in, sit down, make him some tea out of some kind of fluid that you kept in the fritz. You know, ever since the Jehovah's witnesses started going past my door, I'm looking for more people. I don't know, what were they doing before? Were they coming down the chimney like Santa, except they were taking things? Is that the visit?

Actually, I do know because when I was young, the IRS did pay a visit to my parents because they had a bad accountant for a while. And the highlight of it was, at one point, the agent said to my mother, could you please put your cat in the other room because their cat was kicking the hell out of the guy's briefcase. So we had a libertarian cat named Patches. I was very proud of him. It's a beautiful story. Tom, what are your thoughts on the IRS? Do cats kick briefcases?

Yeah. It did. He did. He did that thing where they grab on and they do the bunny kicks on it. That is a good point. Taxation is theft. And I want some friskies. Yeah, I don't like anybody visiting.

I don't want to answer the door. And, you know, I... Do you often come at the door with an open robe and a gun? I make it as quick as possible. They come, they want to talk, and I say, I don't want to hear your story. I don't have anything against you, but I don't want to go through this sales pitch on the porch here. And I don't like those. Remember those COVID people were going around

and checking out? Oh, I hated that. Yeah, the COVID police. What was it? I never got a visit from them. What was that? Well, I wouldn't answer the door. I saw them come. They had the chart, and they were trying.

And I said, don't anybody answer the door. I'm not talking to the COVID people. Yeah, I filled up a freezer full of them. Right. The Biden administration unveiled a new proposal requiring higher efficiency standards for water heaters. arguing they'll save Americans billions and reduce carbon emissions. Essentially, this is another home appliance, Charlie, that they're going to destroy.

Here's what I have to say. There are so many reasons why I don't like renting in New York City, but for this reason, I am fully on board with being a renter for probably the rest of my life, because at this rate, they're going to overturn every single appliance that we have in our homes, and because I don't own the place, I don't have to pay for new appliances, so I'm okay with renting for now. That's a group. That's terrible. That's it. Yeah, no, because I rent, I don't know what a water heater is. Yeah.

Just call the guy. That's not going to stop me from being mad about this. Yes. Because the one time I'm so happy and warm is when I'm in the bathtub every night eating popsicles. And if the government takes this away, it's normal, right? The government takes this away from me, then I'll really lose it. It is funny, though, because they've increased our heating costs, and this is their solution

for decreasing them. We're going to raise the prices, but we've got a solution. We're taking it away, all of it. What are they going to do with all the old appliances, too? Is there a graveyard where they're all going to go? I'm not sure. They'll throw them into the ocean. Nothing saves you money like having to buy a new hot water heater.

Yeah, that's what they're going to try to do, Tom, right? So there's going to be a way that you can't buy these things. Yes, I'm going to go old school. Like, you know, I don't even, like some of these new electric things. They have electric tools now. I saw an electric chainsaw. very cool, electric lawnmower, but I don't want to buy any of them because I hate all the electric stuff. I want to go total gas powered things. I want to burn coal. Like, you know, just despite these people,

I want to just start shoveling coal into my fireplace. You know, it's funny. The first thing you think of about an electric thing is a chainsaw. And you don't own, you don't live around trees. What is it with you, Tom? I would love to use a chainsaw. I want to, you know, I want to cut some wood. Yeah. Wood. Too bad our camera to get it. Wood, there you got it. I don't do this very often, so you better get it this time. We are out of time.

Thanks to Tom Shaloo, Charlie Arnold, Joe DiVito, Cat, Timp, our studio out of touch season, night. This is next time, Greg out of both. I love you, America. Listen to ad free with a Fox News podcast plus subscription on Apple Podcast. And Amazon Prime members can listen to this show and free on the Amazon music app. Hey, I'm Trey Gatti host of the Tregaddy podcast. I hope you will join me every Tuesday and Thursday as we navigate life together and hopefully find ourselves a little bit better on the other side.

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