Gutfeld! Monologues - Is It A Million Dollar John Or Another Government Con?

Episode Date: March 1, 2023

As seen on Gutfeld!, FOX Business correspondent and Host of the We’re Mommying Today! podcast, Lauren Simonetti, playwright & journalist Andrew Doyle, FOX News Contributor, Tom Shillue, and FOX News Contributor, Kat Timpf discuss the Canadian school board’s adopting of a dress code policy in response to a Transgender teacher wearing prosthetic breasts. Later, the panel weighs in on New York City paying $5.3 billion to install five toilets across the city. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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or read a five-minute summary of the book at economic principles.org. Let's Welcome tonight's guess He doesn't wear L.L. Bean because he says it looks too urban. Fox News contributor, Tom Shaloo! She puts her money where her mouth is, which is dangerous because you can choke and die. Fox business anchor Lawrence Sivanetti.

He is to woke culture. The Health Department is to the Views Bathroom. Author of the book, The New Puritans, Andrew Doyle. And she's wise beyond her years. It's something no one has ever said. Fox News contributor, Kat Tiff. Andrew, I have to go to you first because you are a notorious prankster. I mean, you played the role of Tatiana.

Or Titania. Titania. Whatever you want to say? Yeah, you got, you Brits always screw up words. We mess up your language. Exactly, exactly. I think we kind of got there first on it. That is true, and you don't let us forget it.

But you pretended to be somebody else, and to great effect. And you have a theory here. What do you think is going on? Well, I used to agree with you, and I used to think that this was a troll, that this was someone trying to expose the absurdity of gender identity ideology. I've now come to the conclusion. It's real. There's too much commitment, right?

And then there was that interview mentioned where this guy, says, these are real. They're not prosthetic at all. And I did Google that. And there is a condition that would explain that. It's, what's it called, lying. That's what it's known as. Yeah. But it's fascinating. What's been really interesting to me is the reaction from the school board, because they've been so determined to sort of defend the teacher saying, well, this is a minority group. This is an oppressed minority. This is someone who's vulnerable. And that really the media, we shouldn't be talking about. We should leave him alone, right? Right. But I mean, like, and look at this person. I mean, clearly, there is a point there,

because clearly this is the sort of person that hates being the center of attendance. Exactly. They hate it. Leave me alone. You know what they are? They're the Canadian version of Megan Markle and Prince Harry. That's right. Yeah?

Who are also two . Thank you. At least one person applauded. I think in England that means something that I differently. Right? No, that's twits. I don't know. Tom?

I mean, I can't tell. I don't know. Do you have a theory? You know, you think you're a deep thinker. I think. I don't know. Well, you could say, is it a troll or isn't it a troll? But is a troll only when you are trying to lampoon the absurdity of it?

Or could you be trolling just for another reason? I don't know what the definition of it is, really. But they said they were going to revise the dress code. They were like, we're going to look at the dress code. But the thing is, her dress code isn't offensive. She looks like a Mormon PE teacher. You know what I mean? Like with the clothes.

With the clothes. Yeah. The clothes are fine. The clothes are absolutely conservative. Right. So if, you know, I think that she thought of the, I don't even say she, the guy thought of it before he did the whole thing. He's not wearing provocative clothing. So you can't call him on that. So I read this whole thing. Did you see the document? It doesn't say anything.

It goes on for page after page. Yeah, yeah. But I don't know if it matters. I don't know if it matters if it's a troll or not. Because you have guys like Andrew. I enjoy his character, you know, when you see this lampooning character he does. But I also enjoy just as much the regular social justice warriors it's based on. And I laugh just as much of that. I think, which one is more entertaining to me? They're both equally entertaining and they're both equally as instructive in their absurdity.

And I think whether this is a troll or whether it isn't, he's still annoying people. I mean, they should still remove him from the school. And the fact that the school is paralyzed shows so much. It's amazing. I mean, he's telling an amazing story. This is a, I know it was a South Park plot years ago, I believe.

But this is like an incredible, it's an achievement. It's performance art. Yes. So whether he's doing it as performance art or he's doing it seriously, it's making the same point. No, but it matters because there have been bomb threats to the school now, so some people are so upset about it. I mean, are they bomb threats or they're just worried that one of the breasts will pop? I don't know. But the school in its report has now said, there's no urgency to resolve this matter. I think bomb threats for a school should be resolved sooner rather than later, doesn't he?

That's a good, yeah, it's a great point, because then you're venturing into something dangerous. Lauren, I'm a little disappointed in Fox business for not covering the story. You know, I went down a deep, dark hole, like, just Googling. And then I wanted to hear her voice. I was trying to find videos. You know, what is this teacher really like? Yeah. And I spent way too much time, and then I, yeah, it was voyeuristic.

I said I just had to stop. Yeah. But the parents of the school district have two GoFundMe pages. They're legitimately trying to raise $10,000, $15,000 to sue this district because this is so unfortunate for the kids. And it's a safety hazard. Yeah. She can't stand like that in front of woodcutters and saws. I mean, something needs to be done just for the safety of her.

Yeah, exactly. And the students. And I always teach my kids dress for the job you want. That is not how you're supposed to dress. I'd be fired if I'm not. Imagine the job she wants. I don't know. Kat, you told me this morning that you were so happy we're covering this story

and that there's been some progress made. You've been doing some of your own like dogged research and reporting. What can you tell us? What can you share with us today? Yeah, Lauren, you said you went down the rabbit hole. I've been forced down this rabbit hole. Every single, well, I spend months now probably. Yeah, yeah.

But I would also be remiss if I did not bring up the fact that I am also wearing a costume. Yes. Every single night on this show. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Some of the audience knows whenever I will walk straight through the audience to come into the studio for hair and makeup, I never get high cat. I'll get, is that cat?

Because I don't look like this. Um, look, I mean, what is there to say? I mean, this, there's always something to say. The school is in a bind, which they did that thing where if you like ask your boss for a raise and the next day you get an email like, great news, casual Fridays are back. They're trying to kind of distract because they don't feel like they can do anything. And when this came out, I was on a plane when it first came out that, you know, this old pictures from New York Post dressed as a man. I was like, this doesn't mean it's over because you can say non-binary, that's gender, gender fluid where you're like more of a girl some days and more of. of a guy other days.

And I just, I'm also just, I haven't had any additional information, despite my desperate pleas to the entire country of Canada. And if I could give back all the money I spent buying Yeagerbombs there on my 19th birthday that I contributed to my, their economy in the great city of Windsor, I would. Well, we will remain on top of this story, like the world's largest sports bra. Up next, do you ever notice how people are now wearing sports bra without anything else? Like no shirt or no shirt? Yeah, no shirt.

Just people walking around at sports bras. That was a thing. That was a boomer thing you've ever said. It's just in my neighborhood. Anyway, we're going to get to the bottom of that too. During the break. All right, don't go anywhere. We'll be right back.

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I can't bleep that because it's fact. The city plans to put one of the toilets in each of the city's five boroughs, one per burrow. And I don't mean burrow like a donkey, although it was a tax. I feel like an ass for still living here. That's fun with language children. But hey, if there's one way to make a major difference in New York, it's adding a whopping five places to take a dump.

Get ready for the next big project, adding five benches. I guarantee those will have more poop on them than the new toilets. Meanwhile, the city blames the high price on infrastructure, cost for stuff like water and electricity lines. So there are two problems here. actually three one it costs five million bucks for five toilets two it's five toilets for eight point five million people which means three it doesn't even address whatever problem they were trying to solve it's not just wildly cost prohibitive it if its effects are a drop in the bucket which is what

the rest of us will be using when these toilets are full I'm glad you were humor by that Greg is my favorite thing. That joke bombed? No. For me, that was great. Kat, do you think there's any kind of explanation for it being this expensive that you could, you know? I don't know why I live here anymore.

Are you depressed? Yeah, I kind of am, actually. Yeah, it is. Because it's like this is, I'm not even shocked by this. It's because the people, they said, the toilet company, so they've never had a harder time ever getting a permit. It's because there's a bunch of people the government is paying to like make sure that the toilets that you know there's all this toilet red tape and it's not that no one's going to use them it's that one person's going to go in there and use it and the kind of person that's going to want to use that is going to make sure no one ever wants to go in there again

exactly and then there's going to be the cost associated with cleaning that up after that one person there's no way you can clean that up no whoever has to please reach out to me I want to know if you're okay and if so how. I might be able to implement some of those strategies in my own life when I get sad. Yeah, you know, the, it's like every toilet is going to be like the one in train spotting, you know, where it's disgusting.

Andrew, do you remember, you lived in London, right? Do you ever live? A little bit. Do you remember the open air urinals that they tried? Yeah. That happened, it was like 2004-thous-5. And you just, it's amazing. You would be walking down the street

and there'd be a guy's head just like above, like what seems to be a fence. They just momentarily forgot that we have dignity. Yes. They just thought, why don't you just urinate? It was so weird. It was weird. And then it went away.

It went away, yeah. They pretended like it never had. But it was because it was used for nefarious activity, not for urinating, but for other things involving. And you think that's what's going to happen with these toilets? Yeah. Oh, hell yeah. Look, look, we should get into the toilet business. Yeah.

I didn't know there was so much money to be made. It's $5 million for $5. But what you've got to understand, like, it's five times normal cost of a regular toilet. But that's because these are Democrat toilets, right? And Democrats are mostly vegan. They eat more fiber, so you need more robust plumbing, don't you? For that kind of thing. But I keep hearing Damer Katz flush money away.

They're literally doing it now. This is ridiculous. Exactly. And we're not flush. No. See, there are three uses of flush. Flushing a toilet being flushed with money. And you're what you just said.

Where am I? And the Queen's toilet? It's in flushing. That's Tom. Tom, is there a better. way. Well, I know that you just poop outside in the bushes. Well, look. I think these things look great. I mean, it has a great look to it. And so I just want to keep them looking new and good like that. So I think we should serve coffee out of those and let everyone pee in Starbucks.

Ah. Just in the Starbucks. Just let it go. You know, you're right. What if this is just a, what if this toilet's worth it, Lauren? What if it's worth it? What if we're wrong? It's going to take forever to actually see it. Do you know how long this plan? I mean, forget the cost, which is outrageous. It's like they started this idea four years ago, and these five toilets aren't going to be ready until next summer.

Oh, man. Summer of 2012. And the name of the company, Portland Lou. Oh, that's a bad idea. And Portland Lou, I mean, Portland is bad. They do business there. They do business in Seattle. All the places that we love here, right?

We love those places. And they said New York City was the worst. It was worse than all of them to do business with. Because the regulation, it's not just three or four years, though. It's like 40 years. They keep coming up with things. And then advocates for the disabled or, you know, whatever. They always sue the city and then these plans fall through.

There was a toilet in the 90s that were going to create. There was all stainless steel. You would go in and it would close automatically. And then the door would automatically open so people couldn't stay in there after two minutes. An alarm would go off and you would have 30 seconds to leave. I swear, this is what they did in New York, and then you would leave, but then the door would close again. The entire thing would be hosed down, and then a dryer would go on and dry it off. So the whole thing was cleaned in between each person.

I need a guy like that to design my bed. But they never get it done. And it's always paid for with, you know, taxpayer money, the whole plan. You know, why isn't somebody, I have to go, but I love this topic, why isn't somebody invented a disposable toilet? Like something you carry around in your pocket and, ah, I got diarrhea, and you just go, and it inflates, and then you use it, you throw it away. You mean like a bag? A bag.

A bag. I have one of my bar, like a kid's potty. You have a kid's potty? Well, that's actually an adult one for me. Carry that. There we go. But it'll be weird carrying that around on my back. But I bet if you're in a foreign country, you're going to wish you had that.

Who's laughing now, huh? Mytoilet.com. Mytoilet.com. This is the best toilet ever. This is the most incredible toilet you will ever have. Best toilet. Wear your slippers. All right.

Got time for one thought. Tom, where are you performing? My new solo show, spontaneous combustion premieres at the United Solo Festival on 42nd Street, March 11th, 8.30. Go to tomsheloo.com for details. Tomsheloo.com for his one-man show. Thank you, Lauren.

Andrew Doyle, Tom Shaloo, Cat Tips, Studio. But it's Fox News and now with Dreamy, Trace Gallagher's next time. Greg Godfell. I love you, America. Listen ad-free with a Fox News podcast plus subscription on Apple Podcasts. And Amazon Prime members can listen to this show, ad-free on the Amazon Music app.