Gutfeld! Monologues - Joe's Age Raises Fears That He Can't Do Four More Years
Episode Date: September 6, 2023As seen on Gutfeld!, FOX News Contributor, Kat Timpf, Host of The Wise Men podcast, Tyrus, Host of the Kennedy Saves The World podcast, Kennedy, and FOX News Contributor and drone expert, Bret...t Velicovich address voters' fears about whether President Joe Biden is too old to serve another term. Later, Greg lets the audience choose which story the panel will discuss! Follow Greg on Twitter: @GregGutfeld Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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What I'm what I'm saying.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
Period.
Let's welcome tonight, yes.
Excuse me.
She was my fixation when she hosted alternative.
nation, host of Kennedy Saves the World Podcast, Kennedy.
He made his bones killing terrorists with drones.
Fox News contributor Brett Belikovic.
She's like a cool ball day, slightly chilly and covered in dead leaves and frost.
New York Times bestselling author and Fox News contributor, Kat Tip.
And finally, the Earth orbits.
him, New York Times best-selling author, comedian,
former NWA world champion Tyrus.
Thank you.
All right.
Now on to part two of our Canadian teacher expose.
I have COVID. I have to go.
The answers voters are giving could send Joe
Biden to assisted living.
A new Wall Street Journal of poll finds nearly three quarters of voters think President Biden is too
old to run again, and the other 25 percent are stupid.
According to the survey, not only are Americans concerned with Joe's antique husk of a human body,
they also disapprove of his job performance.
Everything from his handling of the economy, the border, China, the war in Ukraine, all received
close to or above 50 percent disapproval.
They even think corn pop got a raw deal.
He was just an innocent black man that Biden assumed couldn't swim.
Wow.
You thought that was racist, too. I'm glad.
Fortunately, Biden has spent 40% of his time as president on vacation.
So things are only 60% as bad as they could be.
During a recent trip to his Delaware getaway,
he claimed to only be there because he had no home to go to.
The reason I'm here today just for one day,
on vacation. I'm not. I have no home to go to. The Secret Service has torn my house up in a good way to make it secure.
So I have no place to go and I come to Delaware except here right now. I'm only here for one day.
Are you homeless? Is that what you're doing on this? No, I'm not homeless. I just have one home. I have a beautiful home.
But I'm down here for the day because I can't go home home.
That way, I guess the Secret Service was tearing up his house looking for more coke.
That story went away, huh?
I wonder what Joe thinks.
Hey, yeah, I said it, I meant it.
I can't go home, home.
And when I'm at the White House, I can't do work, work.
And stop asking me questions.
It's hard to talk, talk when you can't think, think.
But it'll make it easy for me.
I have to get on that plane.
You know, the stairs, I go up, up, and then I fall down, down.
You know, Brett, it's getting harder and harder to lampoon Biden when the person who's doing the lampooning makes more sense.
What do you do? You know, isn't it fitting that he's a homeless president when you, when you consider what, how America looks right now?
Yeah, it's ridiculous. I mean, his incompetence, I think, is a liability to our global power. I mean, it looks bad on the world stage. I don't take issue with his age. I take issue with how competent.
he is with world leaders.
I mean, he has to sit in front of these cutthroat
other presidents around the world,
like President Xi from China or Putin,
and he has to negotiate with him.
And he's supposed to represent America,
which is the beacon of the free world,
and he's going into these meetings, I'm sure,
sounding ridiculous, and they're probably running circles around him.
So I'm concerned on it just from a global power standpoint
and how we look in front of the world.
We're the laughingstock of a lot of these other countries
when they have to meet with him
and they can barely communicate.
He's not going to be able to negotiate on anything, and we're potentially on the brink of another world war with what I'm seeing overseas.
Yeah, you know, Tyrus, I'm going to America bash.
I'm America bashing right now.
Go ahead.
All right.
I don't think America is paying.
How dare you.
Oh, thank you.
America's not paying attention to this.
It seems like they don't care.
And I don't want to, like, I'm almost sounding like a mirror of the Trump arrangement where it's like, how can Trump be president?
But it's like, Biden doesn't he?
Biden is not there.
But everybody's too busy doing other .
Well, and again, Kat, I think you've said this a million,
gazillion times that the number has nothing to do with it.
Like, he was sketchy at 50.
Let's be real.
Yeah.
I think we should be paying attention to who is the interpreter for these meetings?
Because he might be saying, uh, soup.
And the interpreter's like, listen, this fiscal year we're going to need a lot of help from China.
You're right.
corn pop.
Yeah.
So if you step on Taiwan, we will lay way, sir.
So I think we need to look at who's talking to the interpreter, because one of his complaints
is that he's being treated like a child.
Yeah, a baby.
Yeah, a president of the United States being treated like a child, and while he's complaining,
they make him take a nap.
So I would say, you know what the problem is?
We're still fat and spoiled, and we're just not getting it.
Like gas, over the weekend, gas sneak back up, the 388 a gallon.
like, you know, it's costing families of four to support a family of six now.
Yeah.
Just off the numbers of how much you're spending.
But no, we're still, we're still complaining about airplanes and we're complaining about
how you say my nicknames and like that.
And it's not going to be into, wait, when's electricity gone?
When was the grid gone?
Then they'll care.
But, yeah, they got to, he's not suitable now, but I think there's enough people in place
that are happy getting their agendas across.
Because to be real, I don't think if he was at his full course, he would be going
with this stuff.
Biden was super-moderated and he was a little crazy with the law.
He was, you know, he vended the three-strike rule and all that stuff.
This is, he just doesn't know what's going on.
Yeah, you know, Kat, the way you feel about the Canadian shop teacher is how I feel about this story.
That I, no matter what I say, nothing changes.
Nothing changes.
Do you think it matters who's president anymore?
Do you think we're past the Rubicon?
I don't know what a Rubicon is, but we passed the Rubicon.
It would be a great name for a car.
Yeah.
It's a lot easier to make that case now that we've seen this.
Yeah.
And, you know, the vacations, we're like, oh, he's going on all these vacations.
He's going on all these vacations.
I don't really get slamming him for that.
Vacation seems to be the right place for him.
Yeah, yeah.
Like, he is tired.
Let him rest.
Like, you almost feel bad, you know, you know what I mean?
You almost feel bad for the guy at the point, at this point, you know?
He looks really tired.
He looks really tired.
He looks like he doesn't want to be wherever he is because it's all full of
like these new confusing things and this was the return to normal. None of this is normal.
Yeah. You know, so I think that he needs, he obviously needs to retire. I don't know who
on earth thinks that that's not true. Yeah. And I think he probably even thinks that's true.
Yeah, I would say that Stephen Hawking could run circles around him, but he's dead. Oh, Greg,
that was so insensitive. I would never say that. No, it's in a wheelchair, Greg. Yes, I'm sorry.
You prove the point of how important it is to have a functioning president by saying that.
Because look how sorry we have it now where he has to go on vacations.
Yeah.
She ain't on vacation.
Yeah.
You know, Putin's not on vacation.
Yeah.
A bad person in a wheelchair would be a better president right now, Tyrus.
You know.
Because if he falls forward and his face hits one of those keys, it could be a great idea.
Yeah.
Oh, like Diane Feinstein did when she accidentally fell.
They're all screwed.
What's his name?
McConnell?
I was on vacation.
But that was crazy.
He looked like me when I,
What are they, what are they doing? What's going on in the Senate?
Fetterman. Hypothetically.
Dianne Feinstein.
I was going to be a time machine, but that works too.
Mitch McConnell, like, you're practically a senator.
Yeah.
What's going on with all you people?
Right.
Can we just have, can we have something normal?
Can we have a nice presidency?
Two words, rock bottom.
We don't even know what it is yet.
Oh, that's, that is my favorite porn star.
Oh, yeah.
No, but that.
Oh, yeah.
Just go to a commercial.
Something I'll look up tonight.
But we will.
It's like what you said, as long as we got other stuff going on,
until we have nothing else going on.
Like we're having a war and we're not even involved.
I mean, nobody's dying on our side.
I used to believe you.
And I used to think, Kat and I are libertarians.
I used to think, you know what,
two parties are going to screw it up so much
that a smart, rational libertarian is going to come forward
and make a great case and everyone will vote for them
because that's what should happen.
I don't believe that anymore because I'm from Portland.
You're from the Bay Area.
These cities have committed suicide, and they're swirling down the toilet, and nothing will ever stop because no one there is ever going to vote differently.
And I worry that that's how we've gotten in this country, and everyone is fine with it being a third world country.
I am not.
I hope that there are enough people who side with me on that.
But I don't want to lose faith.
I want to always be optimistic about this country.
I want to always believe that the best is yet to come.
All right.
Let's use that as an exit strategy.
Up next, the audience thinks it's great deciding this show's fate.
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The audience decides the story.
You know how it works.
I give you two stories.
Most applause decides which one we do.
That easy.
First option, economists say rising debt could weigh heavily on the Eurozone GDP.
Audience, you like that one, huh?
All right.
Second option, a Delta flight made an emergency landing because a passenger at diarrhea.
All right.
All right.
All right, all right, all right.
I get you.
I got you. I feel it.
I don't know how many times I have to say this, but diarrhea wins.
So, Kat, last Friday, a Delta Jet from Atlanta, going to Barth, Bartholona.
Not Barcelona, Bartholona.
Ibiza.
Was two hours into its flight when it turned around and flew back to Atlanta.
The pilot called it a biohazard issue.
I don't know what happened to six passengers, but apparently the smell was so bad.
The captain instructed the crew to light a man.
match.
So I actually think this story is really inspiring.
You go okay, good.
Because, so this person, I guess, was just all over the plane.
And there's been no updates on this person.
This person hasn't been identified.
But as long as they have not killed themselves, all of us can always move on from anything.
Right, exactly.
Could you imagine being the person who would just all over a person.
plane to the point where the flight had to be grounded.
And you had to get up and leave.
And everybody knows it was you.
Yeah.
And they wanted to go on their nice little Spain trip.
Nope, diarrhea guys are everywhere.
And it's not even your own diarrhea.
It's somebody else's.
But that other person, they probably feel, I don't know, I hope that diarrhea person, assuming
they're still alive, you know, went to Spain and like feels okay because, you know,
If you do, if you can get over that, we all can get over anything that ever comes at us in our lives.
They should have diverted the plane to San Francisco.
Yeah.
The more, I watch a lot of forensic files and murder she wrote at night in my hotel,
and the more we're hearing this story, somebody else was missing around this time, too, Kat.
Oh.
I feel like this was the greatest prank he ever did anywhere.
He took a week off of work.
He trained.
He ate everything he could just to go on a trip to Barcelona and go,
oh, uh-oh, guys.
Oh, the door doesn't lock.
Oh, what are we going to do?
Somewhere, whoever this person is,
is probably feeling pretty proud of himself.
I've had thoughts about this, Kennedy, you know, this happening.
This is why I do not like, like the idea of before a flight.
getting like a super burrito and a big tall latte from Starbucks and just guzzling it.
He's totally going to down and you had a hangover. And then you have a slice of pizza and
then you can sit out and then it just starts gurgling. Yeah. Swirling inside you. Yeah.
The end of like Hunter Biden spraying paint. Is that what his paintings are made of?
Is it like coop fetishes that are buying them? Is that where they're so expensive?
What do you think? What do you, uh, what do you make? I actually, I understand the panic. Have we all forgotten
the Ebola outbreak? What was it?
20, 2014, when if you were on a plane and you were sweating,
they would kick you off and put you in a bubble
and you couldn't see your family for a year.
Really? That's awesome.
I mean, I'm exaggerating for a fact,
but that's what these people are thinking.
Like the reason it's a biohazard issue,
because they're like, we don't know if that's mixed with blood.
Like, we don't know what other fluids are coming out.
Now I'm going to have a meeting tomorrow.
meeting tomorrow with management. Are you talking about feces and blood again, Greg?
It was Ebola. Everyone's like, if they shut down the schools for COVID, what in the hell
are they going to shut down for Ebola? I'm not living through that. Just turn the plane around
and clean it and kick everyone off. What I don't understand is how is it all over the plane?
Like if you're having explosive diarrhea, probably not the best time to like try to get your steps in.
Yeah, that's true.
No.
I believe the flush wasn't working.
Oh, my God. I'm just seeing it in my head now, and it's grossing me now, right?
You know, you're a seasoned traveler.
Well, you've been in the military, correct?
Of course, you've had...
Not normal for the military.
But I'm sure you've been in situations where the bathroom accommodations were not suitable when you had an experience like this.
Do you ever have explosive diarrhea in a helicopter?
Oh, my God.
No, but when I was thinking about the story, I was wondering if that person also lost access.
to the duty-free store in the airport.
What do you think?
Arrowball.
What do you think?
I'm glad you said that, not me.
But once you break the seal, there's nothing you can do.
If the bathroom is full in the back, you've got to sprint to the front.
And it's like, you know, Descartes point.
Oh, I hope they had that first, that first class attendant who breaks no rules for nobody.
She just holds the curtain.
No, sir, you can't come in here.
You can't come in here.
And then, sir, you know, I think no lessons can be learned from this.
No one ever says that.
But we hope that the passenger got better and is doing fine, and we see that person as a real hero.
Further proves my point.
It was not me.
time thanks to Kennedy, Brett Belich
Cat Tiff, our studio on it's
Fox News and now, Dreamy, Trace Gallagher, is next time
Greg Gutfell, and I love you,
America.
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