Gutfeld! Monologues - Kamala Cracks Jokes With Unfunny Folks

Episode Date: June 8, 2024

As seen on Gutfeld!, Co-Host of Outnumbered, Kayleigh McEnany, FOX News Contributor Kat Timpf, Host of The Wise Men Podcast Tyrus, and Comedian Jamie Lissow discuss why Vice President Kamala Harris has not been received well publicly.   Plus, Gutfeld explains why a once third-world tribe reacted in a very typical way after getting Internet access for the first time. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Tucker Carlson said Ray Dalio is one of the world's smartest investors, but more important, he's likely the wisest. Make yourself read this book. That book is how countries go broke, the big cycle. In it, Dalio explains the mechanics behind big debt cycles, and what they mean for countries with big and increasing debts like the U.S. and what you should do to protect yourself. You can find it wherever books are sold,

or read a five-minute summary of the book at economic principles.org. All right. All right. All right. Somebody took a class in clapping. Happy Wednesday, everyone. President Biden is in Paris to commemorate the 80th anniversary of day, said Biden, I remember that day well. I saved 500 guys that day. I don't want to say that

Joe was confused, but he kept bragging about how the Allies defeated the Klingons. Meanwhile, the Wall Street Journal revealed that Joe Biden may be suffering cognitive decline. Talk about breaking news. Nice work there, Wall Street Journal. I wonder what stocks your financial section will be recommending. Perhaps those little-known startups like apps. and Microsoft? According to the story, lawmakers from both parties agree that behind closed doors Biden is showing signs of slipping. Well, duh, he's been slipping in front of open doors, too.

Specifically, the doors that lead to the White House, Air Force One, and the great outdoors. Maybe they should get rid of doors. Even Dems are worried about the president's obvious decline, especially when he pauses and closes his eyes for several seconds. Biden dismisses such concerns saying he's just praying that it's only gas. Not warming up to the fart joke, are you? Wow, tough crowd. And in a show of bravado, President Biden told time reporters he could, quote, take them in a fight through, I bet he could whip Walter Kronkite's ass. In the same time interview, the president, mixed up world leaders confusing the Chinese president with Vladimir Putin. And worse, he kept

confusing Randy Weing Garden with Hulk Hogan. Wrong with you. They do look alike, I mean, at least from the neck down. Finally, on a lighter note, a new study says 75% of Americans are still searching for a trusted hairdresser or barber. Not a problem, says one man. All right. So thanks to Elon Musk's Starlink satellite-based Internet. The remote Amazon Marubo tribe of Brazil recently just got online. And the results were about a surprising as Joy Behar finishing an entire carton of frozen sardines.

According to an elder tribes woman, quote, when the internet arrived, everyone was happy. But now young people have gotten lazy. They're learning the ways of the white people. Excuse me, Chief. You're the one still chasing waterbugs with a stick for lunch, not us. I just hope they haven't adopted our horrible custom of wearing pants. Anyway, the curiosity turned to concern as members of the tribe became addicted to pornography and social media. Turns out the universal language isn't music.

It's saucy stepdaughters.com. They went from piranha fangs to dueling wangs, from defending the village from rival foes to whacking off to sexy hoes. From very past oral. Sorry, granny. All I could say is welcome to our jungle, Marubo. If you thought anacondas were a hazard, wait to you see what's coming. Actually, you won't see it coming because you'll be looking down at your phone. In fact, if you're watching now, Marubos, here's a heads up.

You don't want to end up like us. According to social psychologist, Jonathan Haight, the effect of being online all the time has already severely damaged young minds. In a recent interview in the New Yorker, hate says the negative effects of internet content, quote, rewired childhood and changed human development on an almost unimaginable scale. And that the smartphone changed from being our servant to being our master. It seems kids don't want to think anymore, and if anything gets too challenging in life,

they just turn to the addictive entertainment that's in their pockets. Or they end up following stupid fads or adopting attention-seeking personas. They change for the worst. They used to go outside, chasing each other on bikes. Now they stay inside and only chase likes. Remember how for one summer kids were eating tide pods, swallowing a fatal pouch of detergent? I can only imagine what kind of challenge there might be for the Amazonian teens.

How many giant centipedes you can stuff in a howler monkey's butt? Turns out 84. We now have thousands of deaths caused by texting and driving and thousands more caused by texting and walking. There are no cars in the Amazon but walk 10 feet in any direction and there's 10 things that could kill you. Now instead of getting hit by a viper, they'll be bitten by. one. Social media also draws our kids into stupid conflicts, political hysteria, and identity cults. They can go from this to something like this. How might that affect teens in the Amazon? You know, we thought this was weird, but is this an improvement? So while all this connectivity

can aid progress, it also unites people under really bad ideas, a relentless faucet of brainwash that can turn a kid's life upside down. One day they're just a kid playing tetherball. The next day, they're on hormone blockers, doctors shopping in Thailand. For us, the cat is out of the bag. But now that cat is loose in the Amazon. Over time, your sacred dancing

becomes less like this. It's called TikTok, which is Chinese for your stupid white person. Fact is we know this stuff is bad for kids, and right now we can't decide as a first world country how to deal with it. So how do we expect to try to do the same? This is a perfect study to show you how bad this stuff is. It completely undermines the society's abilities to survive. You become a slave to the scroll instead of a functioning cooperative citizen of your own tribe or town. So did Musk just destroy the Marubo tribe the way we are currently destroying ourselves?

Marubos take my advice. Forget the internet. Trust me, you don't want to see where it all leads. Stay where you are and who you are. You're better off with the crocodiles and poisonous snakes. At least they don't brainwash your kids or trash your traditions. And you can always avoid a deadly tarantula, but good luck avoiding J-Lo and Ben. All right, don't go anywhere. We'll be right back. The best coast just got better, introducing Quantum of the Seas sailing from L.A. this fall. Conquer next-level thrills on the boldest ship in the west, like flowrider surf sessions, bumper cars, and soaring 300 feet above sea level on the North Star. Plus more than 15 dining options on board, all between discoveries in Ensenada and even overnights in Cabo.

You've never done Mexico like this. Book your Boulder Baja adventure from Los Angeles today. Come seek the Royal Caribbean. by sale date, ships registry Bahamas. Did you know that at Chevron, you can fuel up on unbeatable mileage and savings? With Chevron rewards, you'll get 25 cents off per gallon on your next five visits. All you have to do is download the Chevron app and join to start saving on fuel. Then you can keep fueling up on other things like adventure, memories, vacations,

daycations, quality time, and so many other possibilities. Head to your nearest Chevron station to fuel up and get rewarded today. Terms apply. see chevron texcorewards.com for more details let's welcome tonight's guest he's planning on spending father's day like he always does wondering why his kids don't look like him actor writer and comedian jamie lissa she gave the press more terrible fits than men's warehouse host of

outnumbered Kaylee McInney. She's like espresso. She's strong, bitter, and fits in a tiny cup. New York Times bestselling author Foxxoons contributor Kat Tiff. And his handshake comes with a warranty. New York Times bestselling author, comedian, and former and Nobel A world champion Tyrant. Thank you. Oh, stop. Stop it. Stop. You're too good. You're too fine. You're too kind.

All right. Kamala shows her face on the show in last place. Kamala Harris brings us our video of the day. She joined Jimmy Kim alive and weighed in on Trump's verdict, rule the tape, Elaine. The jury made their decision. And, you know, I think that the reality is cheaters don't like getting caught. And being held accountable, you know, the reality is, let's just fast forward to, again, November. I think the American people want to know that there is a president who believes they are accountable to the people. And who's allowed to travel overseas? And also a president who the people can count on, right? Yeah, Biden is a president people can count on to croak in the next six months.

I mean, at least Trump was fit to stand trial. Biden is not fit to stand. Kim will also ask Kamala the hard-hitting questions. Are you aware that there is a strain of cannabis named after you, Kamala Kush? Did you know that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Seriously, really? I did not know that.

They didn't even send you any? Have you ever been bitten by the president's dog? No. No, okay. All right. Who curses more, you or Joe Biden? That's one of the national secrets. That's one of the national secrets. So her own line of pot.

That's a good idea for her, because the people who smoke pot will soon forget that she was known for arresting people who smoke pot. But it'll backfire when they realize the cost of munchies. Oh, thank you. I didn't expect that applause, but I'll take it. You know, Kaylee, does, you're thinking about how does that help? Like they're trying to rebrand her, no question, put up her, but she's, does that do any good? No, no. Look, every political communications person wants their boss to be likable.

You know, but before you approach likability, you have to have respectability. You have to be respected before you even go about trying to be likable. She has to earn back respect before she even goes about trying to be liked. But they have her out on this tour. I was very interested, though, on the verdict. Yeah. Biden had a choice, lean into the verdict or stay out. She went further than her boss in talking about the cheater.

Biden, the most he said is in a closed-door fundraiser. And just so they know, hours ago, Quinn and Piak came out with the first poll we have, credible poll since the verdict was out. Trump's still winning Georgia by five points. Wow. And independents are more likely to vote for him rather than less. So bad news for comment. Lean in. Voters are saying we're leaning into Trump, not into you. America loves the outlaw. Yeah. That's why I hold on to my chaps.

Looking at you. I'm looking at you. Yeah, you're not supposed to hold on to them. You know, I bet this, I bet that pot stuff must piss you off. It's just it's for for that not to come up at all. I mean, it's, I guess it's like a comedy. It's supposed to be like a fun vibe. He could have at least kind of razzed her about it a little bit. I mean, I feel it's not, it's, it's pretty common knowledge that she was like a tough on weed cop. Yeah. And she's like, oh, we that's so funny. Like he should have had something prepared for that. No. I don't know. I think it's, you know, I think it's always kind of weird to see these kind of interviews. It's fine. But if you're going to have fun with it, you have to at least

have her be able to take a joke to. Yeah, rib her a little bit. Yeah. This is the, this is the, this is the funniest presidential pair in history and this guy's acting like a suck-up hairstyle. People are like what's a softball interview. Yes, Jimmy Kimmel Live is supposed to be a softball interview. It's not to be like, well, tell me what happened. But like you can at least make some jokes at her expense, just like you do with any random actor or actress. Yeah, he should have brought out the trampoline from the man show, right? Not surprised, Tyrus. He said she was, he said, he asked her if she was the secret weapon for 2024. of a secret.

Look, they're playing that old Democratic playbook that used to work back when like Bill Clinton was running. He had his moment on, I think it was the Tonight Show where he played the saxophone. Arsenio Hall. Yeah, he played the saxophone in Arsenio Hall. And it was like, that was his defining moment.

All of a sudden, he was humanized and everybody was like, man, Bill Clinton's cool. And it changed, it helped him in the election. The difference is, one, you have to be on, and at the time, Arsenio was number one. So you got to do the number one show, first of all, means you'd have to come here and you'd have to and you'd have to talk with this guy and I don't think those would be the questions that would coming and the thing is is she didn't have a moment that you

really get she didn't have a great line she didn't say it nothing clever it was just blah and listen haven't we named after you I got seven means nothing okay okay The bottom line in this election comes down to just very simple thing. She did mention the whole the proceeding thing, the court thing, the conviction, all that backfires on them because it's very simple. Like if you could take everything out, all the personalities, all the . . . it comes down to one thing. Do you want a president that can stand trial or do you want a president that's unfit to stand trial? That's the question. That's what it comes down to.

Perfectly. Ingo. Perfectly quick. All right. Well, that was fun. I have a minute left. You haven't talked to Jamie yet. Oh, Jamie.

Poor Jamie. So Jamie. Don't answer anything. He says too late now. I don't know if I should be more upset that it's a bit or not a bit. It was not a bit. I'm like going, did I forget somebody? You know what?

Oh, wow. That's deeply. I couldn't tell. What did you make of the interview as a whole. Or this one. The whole thing really did infuriate me, though. What a terrible interview.

I feel like Kamah has so many softball. I would have rather seen him just to actually throw softballs at her. And then maybe one hardball now and that. But like if I was an interviewer, she says crazy things and no one ever calls around. Like I feel like if I was an interview, I'd be like, oh, you know, she says, oh, I, you know, You shouldn't go to Jelphi Smoke Wheat. I feel like you got to go, what are you talking about?

Right? Like you put all these people, you can't just move on. I wonder if when they play clips of Kim on your show, I picture all the people over there going like, oh my God, we're tied in the ratings with Godfeld. It's because they're playing us. It's weird, though.

I don't fault them for their biases. I fault them for being stupid. Do you know what I mean? Was this a stupid interview? You could have been a little smarter, try it a little harder, you know. But I felt like I was watching an HR employee interviewing a DEI hire, like just knowing that that she's not qualified, but you just kind of got to be really nice about it. It's not like this is her first interview and we're just finding out.

She's literally told us that you can see the moon with other people's eyes. She's told us that everyone loves school buses. Like, so if you're going to have her on your show, I'm sure maybe I'm giving Kimball too much credit here, but I'm sure they might have had one or two questions and someone said, bro, just get through it. Yeah. Okay? Like, ask her her her favorite color, get ready for a math answer. Did you notice, too?

Like, in every interview, I feel like she hangs on to like one phrase that she says over and over. And in this one, she kept going, in reality, this is what she's drunk. Yeah, how about you just talk and we'll assume it's all. all in reality. Yes. Without you clarifying. That's funny. All right.

Thank you, Jamie Lissau. Kaila Megadini, Katzertar's a studio. It's Foxy. Listen ad-free with a Fox News podcast plus subscription on Apple Podcasts. And Amazon Prime members can listen to this show ad-free on the Amazon music app. From the Fox News Podcasts Network. Hey there, it's me. Kennedy, make sure to check out my podcast.

As Kennedy saves the world, it is five days a week, every week. Download and listen at foxnewspodcast.com or wherever you listen to your favorite podcast.