Gutfeld! Monologues - Leftovers

Episode Date: July 12, 2025

As seen on Gutfeld! Greg tells jokes leftover from the rest of the week Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Tucker Carlson said Ray Dalio is one of the world's smartest investors, but more important, he's likely the wisest. Make yourself read this book. That book is how countries go broke, the big cycle. In it, Dalio explains the mechanics behind big debt cycles, and what they mean for countries with big and increasing debts like the U.S. and what you should do to protect yourself. You can find it wherever books are sold,

or read a five-minute summary of the book at economic principles.org. Yeah, door open. They're the jokes. Mmm. It's leftovers where I read the jokes we didn't use this week, and as always, it's my first time reading them. So if they suck, we'll send Joe Mackey to Epstein Island dressed as Little Bo Peep. I don't know.

Could happen. On his Columbia University application, Democrat candidate for NYC mayor, Zohran Mamdami, identified as both black and Asian. And to prove it, he bought a pit bull and then ate it. It's so racist. Sunday was International Kissing Day, also known in America as Hide from Rashida Talib Day.

Hey, her mustache tickles, be honest. The TSA scrapped a rule that passengers remove their shoes to go through security, prompting one flyer to ask, what about pants? Next month, Jake Tapper will receive something called the Truth Seekers Award. In other news, Joy Behar just got a Playboy centerfold. Larry David is teaming up with Barack and Michelle Obama for a sketch comedy series. This will be the Obama's first attempt at comedy if you don't count his birth certificate. 7-Eleven turned 98 today on 7-Eleven, and they gave away free slurpees.

They started this tradition in 2002, which is also the last time they cleaned their microwave. waves. A new chemical process could break down 90% of plastic in just 30 minutes. In a related story, guess who just went into hiding? Kathy Griffin claims the 2024 election was rigged and doesn't care if people think she's a conspiracy theorist. Speaking of conspiracy theories, many people believe that Kathy Griffin is really carrot top with AIDS. That's her. I didn't make that picture. Paul Simon's daughter blasted Richard Gear on social media

for his plan to sell the singer's former home. What's up her butt? said the actor. After accounting for all of his gerbils. We'll be back with more Gutfeld. Blue sky... Some people think nature is like this. But actually, it's like this. Mother Nature is not all sunshine and rainbows.

Nature can be hotter than a sauna and colder than an Arctic skinny dip. That's why Columbia engineers everything we make, for anything nature can throw at you. Columbia, engineered for whatever. While discussing the 50th anniversary of his movie, Jaws, Steven Spielberg lamented how the film led to an increase in shark hunting, which makes me think I should release my new film,

which is called Todd Pyro. Oh, come on. You'll see that I'm right later on. Nearly one-third of Americans think they could pass themselves off as British. The other two-thirds go to the dentist. Bill Cosby is seeking a buyer for his Manhattan townhouse. It has an eat-in kitchen and a pass-out living room. The most expensive cheese just sold for more than $42,000.

In a related story, guess who just bought two truckloads of crows? Researchers say the Milky Way galaxy may be inside a huge cosmic void of empty space. They're renaming it Jasmine's brain. Oh, thank you. A bride is getting grief for sitting all of her plus-sized guests at a table labeled Weight Watchers. which made it easier for the male guests to know who would have sex with them. Come on. Homeland Security is subpoenaed Harvard to turn over data on its student admissions.

The university said it's going to take a while to do the math since they stopped letting in Asians. According to a new book, Doug Emhoff was supposed to get Taylor Swift for a Kamala rally, but instead got Oprah. It's not his fault. They weren't specific enough. They just said, get me the ugly billionaire. I refuse to laugh at that. Taylor Swift, I love you. Let's go on record. And finally, according to the latest FBI data, nearly half of all murders in the United States remain unlawful. unsolved. Gee, that's terrible, said one woman. Listen ad-free with a Fox News podcast plus subscription on Apple Podcasts, and Amazon Prime

members can listen to this show ad-free on the Amazon music app. It's the Will Kane Show. Watch it live at noon Eastern, Monday through Thursday on at FoxNews.com or on the Fox News YouTube channel. And don't miss a show. Get the podcast five days a week at Fox Newspodcasts.com or wherever you download your favorite podcasts.