Gutfeld! Monologues - Mamdani: Bring Your Paperwork

Episode Date: February 24, 2026

As seen on Gutfeld!, the Northeast is hit with a fierce blizzard!  NYC Mayor Mamdani wants to see your paperwork… to be an emergency shoveler? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

That is fake audience noise. Did you hear that? Oh my God, you have to leave that in. That's very funny. Did you hear that? That's not just me. All right, happy Monday, everybody. As you know, there's a ton of snow dumped in New York City.

Our studio audience, I'm not kidding, hasn't been this empty since we asked Brian Kill Me to guest host. In fact, the snow is so deep that Fox is now insisting that Dana Perino wear a cowbell. Thank you. Johnny. Meanwhile, this historic blizzard is causing all sorts of problems. The wind is so bad that earlier today I actually saw the Statue of Liberty's underwear. That's a really stupid joke. But visibility was so poor that Doug Emhoff wound up in bed with Kamala. And the snow piled up so high that it actually reached Michelle Obama's Adams apple. The snowfall is so dense in New York's mayor, Zohan Mamdami, grounded all aircraft that was scheduled to fly into buildings.

Thank you. And officials predict that it could take up to three days to dig out, Jerry Nadler. In all seriousness, Mayor Mamdami actually gave New York City kids an old-fashioned snow day. But don't worry. teachers have agreed to meet their students at home for sex. Sorry, you clapped, right? In other news, a British man was discovered to be the only second man in history to have three penises. If you're keeping score, that's three more than this man.

A San Diego dog groomer is performing Brazilian butt lifts for canines. Nothing wrong with that, said one man. widen the field. You know what I mean? Go strangely quiet. So while training with troops at Fort Campbell, Secretary of War, Pete Heggs, have benched pressed over 300 pounds. Yeah, or some people call it a warm-up. And finally, Minnesota is experiencing an outbreak of a fungal STD that causes severe ringworm, causing one man to release a statement that he has never, ever been to Minnesota.

That's because, see, we don't have many people in the audience, or they would have been laughing hysterically at that joke. There, see, see, they're here. Okay. We'll be back with more Gutfeld. This is Ainsley Earhart. Thank you for joining me for the 52 episode podcast series, The Life of Jesus. A listening experience that will provide hope, comfort,

and understanding of the greatest story ever told. Listen and follow now at foxnewspodcasts.com, wherever you listen to podcasts. So as a massive blizzard pelt New York, Zoran Mamdami is hiring emergency shovelers to help clear streets. The storm is named Hernando, so don't be surprised when he introduces his 28 nieces and nephews. Oh, racist would say. Yes, but there's one small detail.

The mayor's asking you to do something the left finds incredibly racist. Show your papers. Yeah, the man who once called ICE Nazis for checking papers is asking to see yours to come. bat a different sort of ice. For those who want to do more to help your neighbors and earn some extra cash, you too can become an emergency snow shoveler. Just show up at your local sanitation garage between 8 a.m. and 1 p.m. tomorrow with

your paperwork, which is accessible online at n.yc.gov slash snow, and you can get started right away. Paperwork from a Democratic socialist, i.e., the same crowd, who would call you a Gestapo agent if you thought voter ID was a good thing. So the guy who expects paperwork from Snow shovelers thinks the same demand for minorities is too heavy a hardship, which is an idea that's inherently racist itself. But to handle a shovel, you need to show five different IDs. Five.

Who the hell has five IDs besides serial killers? I mean, who doesn't love a good memento, right, Tom? But to shovel snow, the mayor's asking for two small photos, two forms of ID and a social security card. That's to make $19 an hour, or as my writers call a raise. No wonder the city expects to recruit just a fraction of the shovelers they got 10 years ago. And with so few people signing up, Mom Donnie's now asking for just two forms of ID and raise the pay to $30 an hour. Still, why the airtight security?

You're shoveling snow, not guarding Cindy Sweeney's underwear drawer. But they, you know, the mayor of New York, he's a very nice person. But his ideology, not too good. You know, the mayor of New York, and he's a very nice person. I met him, but his ideology is not too good. But we're having a massive snowstorm right now. And I've heard that he's asked people to come out and help shovel the snow. Okay, so you get a shovel and you start shoveling, right?

Exactly. Anyone can do it. Hell, I just paid a neighbor to clear my walkway, and he only fell out of his wheelchair twice. So you don't need an ID. to vote in New York, but you need a stack of papers to move frozen dog pee. But when confronted with that hypocrisy, Zohan suddenly started to sound

like a Republican. This is a longstanding program and longstanding requirements, and this is a way that New Yorkers get paid to shovel snow in assistance with the city's response to a winter storm event. Federal law requires that

employers get authorization and documentation to pay people for their work. We are not allowed to just cut checks. to individuals for their work. Yeah. Well, rather than cut checks, you just give illegals free food, free hotels,

and gift cards to the machete dealer of their choice. But now he cares about law. Funny, when millions cross into the country illegally, federal law didn't matter. It was racist. But now, Zohan's shoveling rule impacts the very illegals he calls essential. Because I don't know any illegals

who have five IDs unless he's selling them out of the back of an 84 Nissan stamp. I thought they have a right to work here and they powered our economy. But suddenly they aren't qualified to do something a bunch of fifth graders could do and for half the price. Remember, these are the same people that city hands out benefits like Kill Mead tossing candy from the back of his conversion van. So apparently their moral compass has a busted spring. But maybe they care more about the streets being cleared than democracy itself. After all, liberal New Yorkers might miss the next no king's protest or worse, their Pilates class.

So illegals can make a living just not for something that really actually helps us. But maybe this isn't surprising. We already saw how the mayor handled last month's Norrisster. His first big test, up to 19 homeless, froze to death after he stopped police from tearing down encampments. But after turning transients into hobo pops, last week he started quietly clearing the encampments again. I guess it's great to live and learn on the job unless you're one of the homeless, then you die and you're forgotten. But even CNN is noticing that the socialist dream is actually a nightmarish reality. Zoran Mamdani ran on a promise to make New York affordable.

Last week, he unveiled a budget that is, in a word, unaffordable. New York is really a prime example of a problem Democrats seem unwilling to confront. Blue cities are out of control. Promising more, spending more, delivering less. Wow, if you had said that a year ago, CNN, would have called you every name in the book. But now they admit that everything they once deemed cool and compassionate is destroying us. This two-foot blizzard is just the latest proof.

And they're learning that the real disaster isn't the blizzard at all, but the guy asking you to clean it up. Let's welcome. Listen ad-free with a Fox News podcast plus subscription on Apple Podcasts. And Amazon Prime members can listen to this show, ad-free on the Amazon Music app.