Gutfeld! Monologues - Media: My Problems Are More Important Than Yours

Episode Date: September 3, 2025

As seen on Gutfeld!, Greta Thunberg's boat trip to Gaza hit a snag and was forced to turn back! Meanwhile, Greg delves into the media's lack of principles, revealing some eye-opening truths. Don't miss these thrilling revelations! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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tables, or join a live dealer game to feel the thrill of real-time action, all from the comfort of your own devices. Why settle for less when you can go for the gold at Golden Nugget Online Casino. Gambling problem call connects Ontario 1866531-260. 19 and over, physically present in Ontario. Eligibility restrictions apply. See Golden Nuggett Casino.com for details. Please play responsibly. Thank you. Thank you. You'll probably feel differently after the show. Happy Tuesday, everyone. So Greta Thunberg's boat to Gaza was forced to turn back to port just hours after leaving.

Apparently she forgot the bowl she uses to trim her hair. Congresswoman Ilhan Omar's net worth skyrocketed from $51,000 to $30 million in just one year. Yeah, but the most outraged over this revelation is her brother who never got a scent of alimony. Google it. In a new video, Rosie O'Donnell was sporting a massive cold sore. Oh, come on. It's actually the first time we believe that someone got herpes from a toilet seat.

Might be the worst joke we've ever done. Over the weekend, baseless rumors that President Trump had died circulated wildly on social media. Welcome to the club, said Joe Biden through a Ouija board. Yeah. Representative Jerry Nadler announced he's retiring after 34 years in Congress. He's citing a need for change, referring to his trousers. You know, I'm not going to say he ruins a lot of pants, but his dry cleaner did kill himself.

But if I know Nadler, we haven't heard the last from him. You know, that's the first time we use sound effects and a monologue, and I think it went really well. China will reportedly unveil the world's most powerful laser tomorrow. In America, experts are already planning to use it to remove Rashida Talib's mustache. New York, a GOP candidate for mayor, Curtis Slewa, announced he has a plan to take care of the city's rat problem by unleashing thousands of cats. So what do you do then with all those stray cats? Good question. Bill Belichick embarrassingly lost his first Tar Heels game as head coach 48 to 14. The only thing worse would have been if the score was 73 to 24.

And finally, in Canada, landlords are giving young women free rent in exchange for sex. So guess who just bought a ton of property in Toronto? All right. A lot of fun people here today. Crazy town. We'll be back with more Gutfeld. September 5th. I come down here.

I need you. All right. All right. All right. Array! The Conjuring Last Rights, only in the theater September 5th. All right. So the media has no principles but one, that my problems are more important than your.

It reminds me of an old girlfriend. And by old, I mean she's 35. For example, take CBS' interview with Christy Noem about the Maryland Dad. You know the one-man crime spree, the left treats like Mother Teresa with knuckle tats. When Noam spoke the truth, they snipped her answer like it was Morning Joe's balls. Here's her full response that viewers did not get to see. And the one thing that we will continue to do is to make sure that he doesn't walk free in the United States of America. This individual was a known human smuggler, an MS-13 gang member, an individual who was a wife-beater,

and someone who was so perverted that he solicited nude photos from minors. And even his fellow human traffickers told him to knock it off. He was so sick in what he was doing and how he was treating small children. So he needs to never be in the United States of America. and our administration is making sure we're doing all that we can to bring him to justice. Now, that was the original. This is the edit that they aired. And the one thing that we will continue to do is to make sure that he doesn't walk free in the United States of America.

But I heard you say that we're going to let the Justice Department do that. Does that mean the push to deport him to Uganda's off? Where to go? I haven't seen an edit that bad since they tried to air Debbie does Dallas on the Disney Channel. There's a callback. But it illustrates the media's M.O. The crimes of an illegal are not the problem. The problem is how we protect the illegal.

We are expected to sideline our concerns because the media decides who hurts most. Sound familiar? Well, after a man who believed he was a woman killed kids in Minneapolis, pronouns were top of mind. Since she identifies as a female and wants her name to reflect that identification was underage, It's now Robin Westman.

He hated a lot of different groups. It wasn't one ideology or another. We're going to have to leave it there. That is Senator Amy Klobuchar of Minnesota. Thank you very much for taking the time to speak with us. Thank you for thinking of us. Thank you. And just a point of clarification,

Senator Klobuchar referenced the shooter as he, although police have identified a suspect. It's still unclear at this time what that person's gender is or how they identify. All right, I'll clear it up. you. How about we call him or her, whatever it is, mentally ill, unbangable, hate-filled, bigoted, pigtail-wearing douchebags? They didn't have to finish. Even better, a douchebag who is now identified as deceased. I only hope they got the pronouns wrong on the toe tag. But don't you love it? It took Jake Tapper and his fellow detectives four years to figure out Joe Biden was a human

zucchini. But call a killer with pink hair and a penis. A him? Well, Jake's on it like mass murder, she wrote. We see the same thing with Trump's crackdown on crime. They don't care if you get carjacked. They care that Trump's using the National Guard. I mean, after 54 were shot in Chicago over Labor Day weekend, the city still rejects Trump's help. Because being a victim is your problem. The bigger problem is authoritarianism. So that's only three examples, but there are plenty more. And every time we are compelled to accept that their concerns are on a higher level than yours. Their problems beat your problems, which then either get belittled or just ignored. You know, it's like your buddy's girlfriend who tries to set you up

with her cute friend. Oh, you're told she's got a great personality. But she eats paste and cuts her hair with a floby. But that's her problem and it matters more than yours, which is you don't want a dater. It's the same thing with the media. Every day you've got to take one for their team and pretend their chosen problems matter more, even though most of them aren't even real to begin with. It's why we can have rampant crime while our government focuses on drag queens in Ecuador. Sure, they have fun names like Jennifer Bropez or Eva Schlongoria, but maybe there's better use for our tax dollars. It's why they welcome gangs, sex traffickers, and fentanyl, but deemed white supremacy the real threat.

They didn't care if you can't afford eggs if your daughter shares a locker room with a dude or if an illegal just drove a truck through your living room. Systemic oppression, toxic masculinity, gender affirming care, those were the special problems that outranked yours. In fact, your problems aren't problems at all,

just bigotry. Now, everyone has problems. Some people have trouble making friends. Some have bad breath. Some struggle with both. But the moment you make one of your problems special over everyone else's, you're a loser with a selfish agenda. And it's more transparent than the speedo that got me kicked out of Dollywood.

And it's why voters flock to Trump, while viewers of the so-called news are disappearing like the hair on Chuck Todd's head. Americans gravitated towards the man who treated their problems like his own, while telling the media that the real problem was then. Thank you. Welcome. Listen ad-free with a Fox News podcast plus subscription on Apple Podcasts. And Amazon Prime members can listen to this show ad-free on the Amazon music app. This is Jimmy Phala, inviting you to join me for Fox Across America,

where we'll discuss every single one of the Democrats' dumb ideas. Just kidding. It's only a three-hour show. Listen live at noon Eastern or get the podcast at Fox Across America.com.