Gutfeld! Monologues - No Bottom To Dems Problems
Episode Date: May 13, 2025As seen on Gutfeld!, Greg starts with a wisecrack at NY AG Letitia James' claims against Trump. Plus, remarks about Newark, N.J. mayor's arrest at an ICE facility. Learn more about your ad choices. Vi...sit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Tucker Carlson said Ray Dalio is one of the world's smartest investors,
but more important, he's likely the wisest.
Make yourself read this book.
That book is how countries go broke, the big cycle.
In it, Dalio explains the mechanics behind big debt cycles,
and what they mean for countries with big and increasing debts like the U.S.
and what you should do to protect yourself.
You can find it wherever books are sold,
or read a five-minute summary of the book at economic principles.org.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. You'll never know how much this means to you.
Happy Monday, everyone. So New York Attorney General Letitia James claims President Trump is having her watched.
Could be worse. You could be having her wade.
Yesterday, of course, was Mother's Day, and next month, it's Father's Day, which raises the question,
does Caitlin Jenner get two gifts?
It's a great question.
Bill Belichick's girlfriend, Jordan Hudson, came in third in the Miss Maine pageant.
She lost points during the Q&A when she mentioned her charity work, taking care of the elderly.
Did you know Jordan had competed against a trans lady?
While Hudson were a sass with the name of her hometown that said Hancock,
the trans competitor were a sash that said have cock.
Thank you.
Clapping for the cock.
Pope Leo's brother's been repeat.
Posting on X, calling Nancy Pelosi a, quote, drunk C-word, end quote.
Which isn't fair.
She's not always drunk.
But after seeing this, President Trump immediately made him the ambassador to the Vatican.
North Carolina Congressman Tim Moore has posted a video of a secret tunnel beneath the Capitol building.
So I guess we now know where Maxine Waters breeds the possums for her wigs.
Oh, that was in bad taste.
You guys applauded for cock.
A sofa brand is looking for a professional napper
and will pay 10 grand to rest and digest for the summer.
Finally, a job that I'm qualified for, said one man.
True, its qualifications include previously being laid to rest.
All right, it was unnecessary.
Earlier today, a jury was sworn in for the trial of Sean Diddy Combs.
Apparently, they took an oath while placing their right hand on the ass of an unconscious male escort.
Oh, you like that one? I can't figure you people out.
Finally, federal judges say unsolicited pizza deliveries to their homes are meant to intimidate them.
In a related story, I guess he wants to be a federal judge.
Did that make sense?
Okay.
All right, monologue time.
So right now, the Dems are the Charlie Sheen of politics.
The junkie who realizes everyone was right.
I got a serious problem.
need help. Take the Dems resident twerp, DNC, vice chair, David Hogg, who actually said something
true on Bill Maher. Younger men, they would rather vote for somebody who feels, who, even if they
don't completely agree with, they don't feel judged by, than somebody who they do agree with, that they
feel like they have to walk on eggshells around constantly because they're going to be judged or
ostracized or excommunicated. Ultimately, what we have to do here is figure out how to bring people
back in and work towards the bigger goal of advancing the future of this country.
Young people should be able to focus on what young people should be focused on, which
is how to get laid and how to go and have fun.
Yeah.
I like how he said get laid and have fun.
Like the two are mutually exclusive.
We'll be back with more Gutfeld.
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Although a lover who votes Democrat must be kind of a bummer.
She won't let you sleep with her until you admit.
women should vote. Not going to happen. But even the loudest, most annoying voices in the party
are chiming in. Here's Jasmine Crockett auditioning for a job at Frontier Air. I bet there's a
lot of people who are like, let's go find the safest white boy we can find. There's a lot of
people that are like, you know what, like let's go find the safest white boy we can find. I mean,
I'm just saying, no, for real. A white man's got to do it. No, no, no, no, no, for real. And to be
clear when we talk about them, I can tell you that there is one specific candidate. I had a donor
on the phones with me telling me that all the donors are lining up behind that candidate. So I can
tell, and I can tell you, it's not a black person nor woman. Thanks, darling. The money's on the
dresser. So now, I don't know what that means either. So now the left knows they must change.
some already are.
Do you remember this lady?
That's Stephanie rule before Trump.
Cute.
This is her now.
Who does she remind you of?
I know, I know.
If I were Rachel, I'd be kind of worried.
It reminds me of that stalker movie,
single white female,
except it's single white male.
But what does this tell you?
With Trump ruling the road,
of common sense. The Dems can only move more left. Rule wasn't always a left-wing
scold. She spent 14 years in finance. Now she's mostly worried about the price of cats.
Because she's, you know. My guess is Jen Sacky's next. By the second episode of her new show,
ratings in the key demo, people 24 to 54 plunged with 65,000 in the entire country
tuning in. I could get that many reading Kilmead's books.
on my only fans.
So how long before Jen Sacki goes from this to this?
Because the Dems, they can't return to normal.
On Friday, three Democrats stormed an ice facility in Newark.
Even the city's lefty mayor was arrested.
I guess he knows that jail is safer than the streets of Newark.
But these are the responses to Trump, theater, outrage,
screaming. No wonder Dems have decided they need ideas. But first, they need ideas on coming up with
ideas. And then you're going to need ideas for that, too. You know, ideas that would lead them to
ideas that would help them figure out ideas to create ideas. It's an infinite regress with each move
depending on a precursor. There's no bottom to their problem because a bottom needs a floor,
a foundational set of first principles. That would mean you have to say there's a culture with norms
and traditions, rights and wrongs.
But the Dems are that elevator shaft
with no elevator in it.
Whatever idea they have
immediately falls 60 stories into the abyss.
Now, we have a bottom that's easy to express.
Law and order, safety and security,
free markets based on a fair share of transfer of commodities.
It's simple.
I did that in 30 seconds.
I didn't even have to look up
from my online kangaroo porn.
But if you lack foundational principles, you're screwed.
Sadly, the Dems embraced a mine virus that deemed such principles oppressive.
And now without the foundation, they're trying to build a house on quicksand.
And any crack-bought idea can take hold.
How did trans hysteria find root in their party?
How did squatting and mass theft become acceptable?
Why did the Dems circle their wagons around a gangbanger?
How did Hamas become sympathetic?
How did minor attracted persons stop meeting?
meaning you wanted to bang coal miners.
Look at how climate change just disappeared,
like the ice caps were supposed to, 30 years ago.
I guess when you say the planet's going to expire in five years,
where do you go next?
Blocking traffic, destroying paintings,
calling the Patriot Saint of Electric Cars Hitler?
How do you go further left on no cash bail,
open borders, men and women's bathrooms?
It's like Howard Stern's shock comedy,
Eventually you run out and turn gay.
They've gone so far in the wrong direction, they've lost America.
Of course, they could claw their way back to the middle,
but it also means sharing the road that Trump owns, common sense.
But first, the Thames must find their bottom.
Too bad their heads are stuck inside it.
Let's welcome here we are.
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