Gutfeld! Monologues - Pack Your Bags to Canada

Episode Date: August 5, 2025

As seen on Gutfeld!, Tom Shillue guest hosts.  How much is a medical bill if a bat flies into your mouth? Tom lets you know.  Also,  vote Republican or pack your bags to Canada. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Tucker Carlson said Ray Dalio is one of the world's smartest investors, but more important, he's likely the wisest. Make yourself read this book. That book is how countries go broke, the big cycle. In it, Dalio explains the mechanics behind big debt cycles, and what they mean for countries with big and increasing debts like the U.S. and what you should do to protect yourself. You can find it wherever books are sold,

or read a five-minute summary of the book at economic principles.org. Happy Monday, everyone. Yes, I am Tom Shaloo, in for Greg on this very special edition of Gutfeld. Let's do some headlines. A woman wound up with a $21,000 medical bill after a bat flew into her mouth. She claims it's the last time she vacations in Wuhan. Yeah. According to new data, walking 7,000 steps per day can greatly improve your health.

Does falling down steps count? Michael Jackson's dirty white sock that he once wore on stage has sold for $9,000 at a French auction. And it's still the best-smelling thing in France. Oh, yeah. Don't go after. France. Critics were horrified. that President Trump turned the Rose Garden into a patio. What a waste, all that concrete, and no body's buried under it, said one woman. A man named Jeffrey Epstein is running for mayor in a Massachusetts town, and he refuses to change his name.

He says, even if he's losing in the polls, he plans to hang tight. The new Golden Bachelor is facing backlash for saying he didn't want anyone over 60 with artificial hips or wigs. Looks like these two contestants are out. According to a new study, spending 15 minutes a day outside can enhance your physical and mental well-being. Good thing I'm homeless, said one man. New York mayoral favorite, Zoran Mamdani, has Jamal Bowman on his shortlist for school chancellor. Chancellor, why not put him in charge of fire drills? Right?

And finally, England has launched the world's first gonorrhea vaccination program, free of charge to those at highest risk. Pip, pip and cheerio, said this chap. We'll be back with more Gutfeld. Mint is still $15 a month for premium wireless. And if you haven't made the switch yet, here are 15 reasons why you should. One, it's $15 a month. Two, seriously, it's $15 a month.

Three, no big contracts. Four, I use it. Five, my mom uses it. Are you playing me off? That's what's happening, right? Okay. Give it a try at mintmobile.com slash switch. A upfront payment of $45 for three-month plan, $15 per month equivalent required.

New customer offer first three months only, then full-price plan options available. Taxes and fees extra. Seamintmobile.com. Okay, to my searing monologue. So in America today, the electorate has two options. Vote Republican or pack your bags for Canada. I'm kidding. You'd be better off in Cuba.

At least there, when they admit, they do admit, when Fidel Castro's their dad. Oh, it's worse than France. But the choice is honesty versus pantomime. The truth is, Trump is from Mars, the Dems are from Venus. Yeah, his tweets are mean. He gives people nicknames, and he says things like fight, fight, fight. But you know what? It's all out in the open.

You know where he stands. Even if he's standing on Adam Schiff's pencil neck. Ooh. Oh, wow, I don't know. Now, compare that to the Democratic. Democratic strategy, let's look the other way while chaos unfolds, then whine about Trump. Like this latest gem from Texas, House Democrats literally fled the state to block a vote on redistricting. Their goal? Break quorum so Republicans couldn't pass laws that would redraw the Texas congressional map.

Now, redistricting is something the Dems do all the time in places like California and New York, but they scream fascism when somebody else does it. But what did Republicans do? Well, Texas Governor Abbott threatened to remove these legislators from office. Now that's aggressive. Not in your face, angry, but deliberate, unapologetic, legislating like a boss, instead of being a graceful loser, also known as the Romney effect. Yeah. It's the clearest contrast we've got. Democrats run, Republicans do their job. Now, this is nothing new. The left is always passive, aggressive. Look at immigration. They refuse to enforce the law. Then they call the border crisis unseen.

sustainable, like it just appeared out of nowhere. And their fix? Make illegal immigration permanent and call it compassion. Then there's the Russia hoax. Democrats use the CIA and the FBI like rental hitmen and buried the evidence under reams of bureaucratic red tape. And the media bought it like it was a COVID booster. And then they call Trump the dangerous one, at least with Trump, when he's trying to take you out, you can pretty much tell. Just ask this guy. And here's the truth. Americans like Trump's aggressiveness

because it's better than fake civility. We're tired of backroom deals disguised as consensus. And Trump's becoming more influential by the day. Even CNN is catching on. I can't think of a more influential president during this century. And it starts here with tariffs, the effective tariff rate.

point looks to be nine times as high as it was last year, the highest since the 1930s and FDR Omar. The other big thing that Trump ran on right was immigration. How about net migration? Any of the United States, get this, it's down. It's going to be down at least 60 percent. How about executive orders? Already 180 executive orders signed by Donald Trump this year, Donald Trump is remaking the

United States, love it, like it, or lump it. He has been tremendously influential to a historic degree, Omar. Yeah, Omar. Take that, Omar. Listen, we prefer aggressive over passive aggressive because at least when Trump takes a swing at you, he does it in public. The Democrats, they skip the vote, leak to the media, leave town, and call it governing. We'll take the blunt orange guy. At least we know where he stands. And unlike the last, president we know this president can stand all right let's welcome tonight's guests listen ad free with a fox news podcast plus subscription on apple podcasts and amazon prime members can listen to this show ad free on the amazon music app it's will tain country watch it live at noon eastern monday through thursday at foxnews.com or on the

fox news youtube channel and don't miss the show listen and follow the podcast five days a week at fox newspodcasts.com or wherever you download your favorite podcasts.