Gutfeld! Monologues - Patton Oswalt- The Self-Appointed Comedy Cop

Episode Date: November 19, 2025

As seen on Gutfeld! female gladiators fighting topless—and Greg's witty reply to Patton Oswalt’s sharp critique of the right. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Thank you. Thank you, thank you. Stop it! Stop it! Happy almost holidays. Please enjoy the complimentary gravy we left under your seat. Happy Tuesday, everyone. So historians have determined that female gladiators in ancient Rome fought topless.

Well, that's one way to get guys to pretend to care about women's sports. Despite complaints, Dearborn Michigan's Muslim mayor said noise levels from mosques' call to prayer were not an issue. Saying it's nothing to lose your head over. Or is it? Jump the punchline, but that's okay. President Trump says he knows the addresses of every drug lord in Mexico. Once again, a shout out to Hunter's laptop. Uncomfortable.

According to experts, parents should ask babies for consent before changing their diapers. Same thing for old guys. President Trump gave a speech on affordability at the McDonald's Impact Summit. He also touted wins on immigration and crime having deported grimace and executed the hamburger. You can tell Thanksgiving is just around the corner earlier today, in fact. J.B. Pritzker began filling his hot tub with gravy. And Anthony Wiener was seen adding extra leaves to the children's table. Yeah, probably should have left that one off, huh?

Turns out, Thomas Crooks did have a social media footprint and was deeply interested in muscular women. Yeah, apparently he tried to kill Trump to improve. press carrot top. That's a great joke. It really is. House Republicans and Democrats voted overwhelmingly to release all the Epstein files. Democrats and Republicans haven't agreed on anything like this since they got Jerry

Nadler to provide a courtesy flush. Disgusting. Bowles. And finally, a man charged with smuggling sedated parakeethe. in his underwear told suspicious border agents that the bulge in his pants was his genitals. Great. Now the TSA is going to think I'm smuggling falcons. It's a bird joke.

I don't get it. We'll be back with more Gutfeld. This is Ainsley Earhart. Thank you for joining me for the 52 episode podcast series, The Life of Jesus. A listening experience that will provide hope, comfort, and understanding of the greatest story ever told. Listen and follow starting November 30th on Fox News Podcasts.com. All right. So Bill Maher just had actor Patton Oswald on his podcast.

Yeah, that Patton Oswald. The actor who, despite what you're thinking, was never in Lord of the Rings. But he's the comic who prowls the Internet as a harsh critic of the right and self-appointed comedy cop. So you'd think he'd be wired into everything up on all the arguments and counter arguments, right? Nope. He knows about as much as today's issues as he does about personal grooming. True, the guy looks like a cat just coughed him up. And yet, we're the ones who didn't evolve. This country is not as mature as it thinks it is.

We elected Obama and clearly the country freaked out. We're still living in that freak out. We are not as progressed and evolved and intelligent as we think we are because we keep freaking out. Who's we exactly, O'Garden Gnome? Because when Mars suggests that the left is not entirely scientific, Oswald looks at him like AOC trying to do a math problem. The left freak out, too. The left freaked out about a lot of .

What did they freak out about? Gender, race, parenthood, schools, homelessness, crime, the border, education. like we were not we stopped being a scientific people like it's not scientific but the left certainly stayed scientific no they didn't it's why not because they think gender that they went way too far with that's not scientific but how do and i'm i'm not trying to how did they go too far with like gender stuff if i was teaching children what i would teach them is uh there is a default setting for the human being which is heterosexuality that's not what we started to teach which was that every baby is i don't know we let's not even put it on the birth certificate that's what they

wanted were we teaching that yes we were teaching it it was a law here in california see teach what don't put sex on the birth certificate we'll see i'm sorry i don't remember that i mean i know because it doesn't get in the blue sky bubble Where is this guy been? Now, I get it. When you look like Patton Oswald, you want someone telling you there's no difference between women and men. But he didn't know the laws or even the controversy. He didn't know that some states were scrapping sex for birth certificates, that his state added non-binary as a designation.

Oh, he's brave online, fact-checking you and me. But when Marr, a guy capable of peering beyond the bubble says, look, you missed this? He's as bewildered as J.B. Pritzker looking at a bag of kale. And why? Because Patton's bubble doesn't have arguments. There's nothing to read. There's no need to track. Today's left orbits in their own messaging universe, disconnected from anything that might challenge them.

And since the left owns the culture, they have no problem finding affirmation. In fact, that's all they find. They have platitudes. Follow the science. No human is illegal. Trans women are women. But if someone says something you don't like, it's okay to shoot him in the head. Patent's happy to bathe in his bubble in like a human virus,

spreading stupidity to anyone who's susceptible. But when he's slightly confronted, you can see his face melt like a fun-sized snickers left on a car seat during a heat wave. If you're saying the left went too far with gender, maybe that was a function of, okay, these people are scared, they're being targeted, and we're watching them be targeted right now.

We're watching transgender people be targeted in a very aggressive way. We are? Oh, my God. Where are they being targeted? I mean, like, everybody is being targeted to a degree. I feel like... But not scapegoated the way the transgender people are. Scapegoated for what?

Who's scapegoating them? Every school, every shooting is a transgender person. Not every... The ones that are. But that's how they frame it, though. Oh, mad. You see, Oswald seems as confused as Mayor Pete discovering a photo of Sidney Sweeney. His problem is that he can't argue because he never had to argue.

He's like a sick kid who lives in a bubble because he has no immune system, but steps out of the bubble and immediately dies because his body developed no antibodies to fight off contagions. Only this time the contagion is truth. Now, we're different. We know we're the minority. The networks, Hollywood, academia, they all lean left. Being progressive is the factory setting. So for us, we got to do the work. We got to pick up the contradictions and the angles.

We play defense. We read the memos, learn both sides, make arguments. those muscles have to be there. And as you can tell from this interview, Oswald's mind and his body hasn't been to a gym in years. But it doesn't stop them from coming at us hard because there's no one there to say no.

The left is both dominant and sheltered. Meanwhile, we're watching not just what we believe, but also what they believe. We're doing twice the work. To remain oblivious, the left can simply not watch Fox News or go on X. But the right, we have to stop watching movies. stop going to college, stop watching the Super Bowl halftime show.

Even church has gone woke. Oswald reveals that the left has no idea what's going on in the world and their arrogance protects them from having to try. Hell, while millions of Americans were facing an economic and social crisis due to COVID lockdowns, Patton scolded them for wanting to eat at Fuddruckers. He seems happily oblivious to average concerns and finds addressing them either beneath him or exhausting. And they'll call you a fascist without even knowing what it means.

because the bubble gives them everything they need except reality. Let's welcome. Listen ad-free with a Fox News podcast plus subscription on Apple Podcasts, and Amazon Prime members can listen to this show, ad-free on the Amazon Music app. It's Will Tain Country. Watch it live at noon-eastern Monday through Thursday at Fox News.com or on the Fox News YouTube channel.

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