Gutfeld! Monologues - Pay Your Own Darn Birthday

Episode Date: February 10, 2024

As seen on Gutfeld!, Campaign communications expert Erin Perinne, Comedian Jeff Dye, Host of The Wise Men podcast & New York Times Best-selling author Tyrus and New York Times Best-selling Author & FOX News Contributor Kat Timpf weighs in on Secretary Mayorkas' impeachment vote failing in the House. Later, the panel discusses who should pay the tab at a birthday dinner. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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or read a five-minute summary of the book at economic principles.org. Let's welcome tonight's guest. He took a night off from banging your ex to be here tonight. Comedian Jeff Dye. She's so bright Joe Biden keeps walking towards her. Campaign communications expert, Aaron Peretti. And here we go. She took Ozempic and gained weight.

New York Times bestselling author and Fox News contributor tattoo. And when he plays monopoly, he uses real houses. New York Times bestselling author, comedian, and former NWA world champion. Jeff, you know, because you're an expert on immigration, I was going to ask you what your solution is. But then I watched those clips again of Joe Biden. And I realized these are not gaffs anymore. This is just the status quo of his behavior. It's kind of scary.

I mean, you feel bad making jokes about it now. Yeah, it's hard to make it funny. Yeah. Like, it really is. Like, you just watch it, you go, this is embarrassing. Yeah. That's the leader. Yeah, I know.

Like, JFK, like, we choose to go out of the moon. You know, you get jacked up. You get hard watching that. You watch this, you just go, ah, this is what we're done. Yeah. It's very embarrassing. It's very embarrassing. Also, what is the plan?

Just don't talk about it? Yeah. At least we have a position here. Yeah. But then you ask people like, well, you know, you, when you go to a country, You should probably follow the rules to, like, get into that country. I can't just go to Australia. And they go, hey, don't say that.

Yeah. What about these guys beat up a cop? They're not even citizens. They go, whoa, whoa, racist. Well, what's the plan? Like, can we talk about it? Like, there has to be some other side. Yeah.

The only side they are concerned with are for the people coming in. It's the most bizarre thing. A border actually has two sides inside and out. And, like, if you bring up your concerns, you're a bigot. Right. Just by talking about it, like, that's pretty scary also. And not very funny. that we can't even talk about it

without being like this, you're problematic. What happened to your caller, by the way? This is a special cut. I was told it looks good. You're like Jeff Dye, hip doctor. Look, I'm here to tell you you got cancer, but what are you doing later?

Aaron? That is the doctor I'd be. That is the doctor you'd be. You've only got three months to live, but two months to love. I love that. All right, Aaron, I apologize for that. What do you, do you think not impeaching New York is a big deal?

I mean, it really, I mean, it's like, I guess life goes on. Is this a big defeat? No, it's not because one, they'll be able to bring it up again. And, you know, I think the least surprising part of this is that like it's taking a while to get things done in Congress. That's the same song and dance. I worked on the hill for years. I haven't been there for a few years. But really not much has changed.

The way we make the change here is we elect somebody else to the White House. The reason we are facing three and a half to four times more border crossings in a two-year period under Joe Biden than we did under Donald Trump is because of Joe Biden, let alone the 90 executive actions that he took away from the Trump administration purely because he said, oh, Donald Trump, that's a no for me, building the border wall. He stopped doing that. Part of that border wall was also like damn infrastructure in Texas, and he was like, good luck, everybody. Like everything he did has been bad. It has only made the border worse. People want to see this end. You can't believe, like, you can't be shocked that it's going to take Congress a while to get this, right? You need a leader in the White House who's willing to take action to get it right, because it's clear between Biden and Majorcas, no one is going to close the southern border of the United States. Yeah. He would rather forgive student loans. Yeah. And he will do, and has done that. And then catch and release people in the United States. You enter the country illegally. Hey, you got a one-way ticket. You beat an NYPD cop. You might make it to California. But that's, that's, that is the tenant of their policy right now. The core of their policy is, Yeah. You know, Kat, I was just, I think I was caught off guard watching Biden again. Yes. I think we all know now why he's not doing the Super Bowl interview. Yes. I mean, it's bad.

Dad's serious. What, okay, if that's your audition tape, what gig could you get? No, no. Like, you're like just three, it's only three minutes. There's no only in that three minutes. Yeah. The Super Bowl is supposed to be fun, I hear. And like, that was really. Allegedly. That's like he looks miserable. They wouldn't like you work at Applebee. But how is, I mean, the thing is, why isn't that clip everywhere? Like, I'm pleading ignorance.

That is the first time I saw. Me too. First time I mean, this is the first time. Because they all look the same. You're like, oh, you know what's crazy is that I don't care what, you know, part of you're from, what you believe. Whenever you're watching Joe Biden speak, everyone watches him like this. Yeah.

Like, like, what's going to happen, you know? Like, that's not like, how. how you should watch, they're like, oh, like, ugh. And you're just, like, heartbroken and scared the whole time. Yeah. This isn't normal. None of this is normal. It's disturbing. He's so sad. Yeah. It's like this, he shouldn't be, he shouldn't be half to do that. No, at this point, they need to put, they need one of those big things that take him away. The problem is. We owe George W. Bush a big apology. We gave that, we raked that guy over the coals for saying, like, fool me once and then, you know, losing his train of thought.

This guy every day, it's so normal. to us now. We just go, that's how we talk. Yeah, but Dave Nguyen told you normal. I thought he was just splitting the diff. Like, he's got a 10-minute speech, but if he combines it all together, he can get it done in three minutes. I thought it was just a, you know, I'll say three or four things at the exact same time.

Which is a higher level of thinking. That's true. Which, you know, we just don't get it. Yes. My bad, Mr. President, I'll work on my this is just the incident with the Border Patrol officers and their horses, his ass should have

out of there. Yeah. And this is on Republicans. This is why we need term limits. They care more about getting reelected than doing the right thing. His lackadaisical effort with the border, with the way he treats, the men and women who protect the border. How about the mothers who came to Congress? He didn't show up because he was, quote, in a meeting with Mexico. You should have brought their asses, too. But it goes back to the same thing. Republicans are full of and this proves it they say they want change

who care if I know that being a leader and doing the right thing and getting a person this man out of here who's failed and there's no one can argue that he hasn't

means I might not get reelected but I did my job that was better for my people fine next man up so be it I did my part this says more this you know we always want to go at the left

and say when they're doing this this says more about us and the spineless people that supposedly are conservatives that know that this man has cost money, has ruined lives. There was people that couldn't leave their homes because everyone thought they were whipping black people. Think about that.

And you're serving for pay, and that's how you're being treated. That's just one. They didn't show up for the moms. Then it was perfectly fine, making like border agents were letting people drown in the water. Yes. It didn't matter what horrible thing that he said, but you just didn't want them to come back at you.

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A story in five words. Pay your own damn birthday. Roll it. You invite people to a restaurant of your choosing for your birthday. You should pay for everybody. I know that's going to be deeply unpopular, but I just think that you can't pick a restaurant and ask people to come and celebrate you and pay for themselves.

It's so hard to be at influencer. I have to lie on my pillow. It's really hard. All right. Aaron, she thinks that the birthday boy or girl should always pay for their own birthday dinner with friends. Apparently this is creating a firestorm. What do you think? I actually don't think that she's necessarily that wrong.

If you're inviting people out, it would be, like, think about this in reverse, is how I was thinking. She just assumed that I'm going to invite all these people to a party and be like, and you get to pay for me now. But if you're inviting people, you can split the back. bill, like you can talk to people. If you're an adult inviting people to an adult birthday party, you can have a conversation about that without it being an issue. But she just makes it so awkward and uncomfortable as influencers

tend to do because they're just weird people. Yeah, you know, Jeff, I mean, what adult throws a birthday party for themselves? Yeah, that's the strange part. Yes. I think that if you did plan it and you invited, then you should pay. But I also think that there's a bigger thing happening with influencers and these rappers and these young kids and the

Spotify sound call, whoever these people are that have all this money. You've got all these followers, they're so happy to flex with the expensive sunglasses and the whole thing, then tip better and start paying for stuff. If you're going to flex on everyone about how much money you have in these things, then pay the damn bill. Because it's very strange to be cheap and also rub it in everyone's face about how well you're doing.

All right, gramps. You don't think so? No, I agree. Rappers are always going like, ba-da-da-bada-bada-bond. We're like, oh, he spent $20. How much do you tip? Zero. they yell cut and the jeweler takes his jeweler and the car takes his car because they're full

it's full of people who complain about having to pay for stuff that people who can't afford stuff yep so yeah influencer if you're doing your interview from your bed complaining about having to pay for your own dinner at a party um then you should like they should pay for you because it's not easy paying doing all this so and plus i'm not going to a party because Once you're over 18, the candles cost more than the cake do, so I'm not going. I don't celebrate birthdays. I give them my kids. I let them pick them.

Yeah, I don't think. And to be fair, I should probably give it to my mom. She went through hell. Yeah. She was 90 pounds and had a 10 pound, 24-ounce baby, so she didn't serve in the military, but she served that day. Yes, thank you for your service. There's a joke in there I almost made, but I'm not cats.

Go ahead, cat. What do you think? How were you able not to talk like that? I don't know, right? Yeah, yeah. You talk like, you know... Much more masculine. Yes, yes.

I think your vocal cords would explode if you tried. Yeah, I don't... No, I couldn't do that. I hate myself enough already. So, I think people... When people get weird about money in general, it's just figure it out. I remember...

I'm going to tell that I'm going to talk about this. What? This is my time to talk about this. I went to a friend's birthday, dinner. I arrived. in the night and everyone had appetizers, dinner, drinks, I had a drink. And then the next day, the bar after, we went to a bar after, I paid for the birthday person's drinks and the birthday person's boyfriend's drinks.

Two rounds of drinks for both. And then I got a text next day, can you Venmo me for dinner? It's $100 a person. So I did it, but like, you know, being a bitch. And then I texted my friend and was like, oh, you know, like I didn't eat at the dinner. Why am I? And then it was like, oh, such huge misunderstanding.

Yeah, well, not really because he kept the fucking money. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Out of time, thanks to Jeff Dye, Eric Barreidi, Cat Tamp, Tart, Studio, on it's Fox News, and that would Dreamy Jays, Guy, Scott, with his next time, Greg Gapfeld, I love you, America. Listen ad-free with a Fox News podcast

plus subscription on Apple Podcasts, and Amazon Prime members can listen to this show ad-free on the Amazon Music app. Hey, I'm Trey Gowdy, host of the Trey Gowdy podcast. I hope you will join me every two and Thursday as we navigate life together and hopefully find ourselves a little bit better on the other side. Listen and follow now at Fox Newspodcast.com.