Gutfeld! Monologues - Peace Out Pelosi

Episode Date: November 8, 2025

As seen on Gutfled! Nancy Pelosi will not be seeking re-election and Greg has some thoughts. Greg shows some of the lowlights of Pelosi's career. Plus, Greg wonders how good she will be at picking stocks after she leaves congress. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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19 plus Ontario only. Please play responsibly. Concerned by your gambling or that if someone close, you call 1866-3-3-1-2-60 or visit comixonterio.ca. that's funny that's funny that's funny that's funny oh i know i know i agree i agree It's Friday, so you know what that means. Let's welcome tonight's guest. His nickname at Work is Dead Air. Fox and Friends first co-host, Todd Piro. She knows which vegan meals pair well with moonshine.

Co-hosts on the bottom line of Fox Business Diggin' Bigdowl. He talks more trash than a garbage man on a first date. Host of the Good Guy, Bad Guy, Podcast, and he has. champion Chale Soden. Thank you, thank you, thank you. And it's been a rough week since her cat voted for Slewa. New York Times bestselling author of Fox News contributor, cat, too. All right.

Before we get to some news stories, let's do this. Greg's Leftovers. Yeah, it's Leftovers where I read the jokes we didn't use this week. and as always, it's my first time reading them, so if they suck, we'll send Joe Mackey to Zohran's house dressed as a rabbi holding a pastrami on rye.

Well, the Rockefeller's center of Christmas tree will arrive in Manhattan tomorrow. To hoist the tree in place, they'll use a massive crane once it's done moving Jerry Nadler from his bed to the commode. Video of, of a diaper wearing sheep aboard a high-speed train

has gone viral. Joe Biden responded by asking if you liked his sheep costume for Halloween. Wow, two poop jokes in a row. After a recent TV interview, Stormy Daniels is back in the news. Yeah, for looking noticeably different. Yeah, she went from Stormy Daniels to Charlie Daniels.

But to her credit, she plans on losing weight by going on Ho-Zempic. Nancy Pelosi announced she wouldn't seek re-election, saying the Democrats need new blood. That was before adding that she also needs new blood. Peloton has recalled hundreds of thousands of its bikes because the seat post keeps falling off. I know, although one user hasn't complained. It's a rolling. It's a rolling. It's a rolling. It's a rolling. laugh for that one. Left-wing podcaster, Jennifer Welch.

She claimed that white people have no culture worth mentioning. But look, she's never been the same since her life partner, Whalen Flowers, passed away. Remember that, Whalen and Madame? No? Look it up. Sidney Sweeney attended NASCAR's championship race. And you could immediately tell that the drivers were a bit distracted.

And contact. Snap turned on. Not a good thing. In fiscal year 2025, the Coast Guard seized half a million pounds of cocaine. In related news, Larry Cudlow's beach bash has been canceled. The ex-department of justice employee who threw a subway sandwich at an ice agent was found not guilty of assault,

although he was found guilty of throwing like a little bitch. Dr. Oz said, due to cutting the cost of weight loss drugs, Americans will lose 135 billion pounds by the midterms. Those hardest hits? Those hit hardest? Men who love big butts. True, sir, mix, a lot is on suicide watch.

The ex-wife of NFL lineman Matt Khalil said their divorce was due in part to his oversized penis. You know, I can relate. I also divorced NFL lineman Matt Khalil due to his oversized penis. Where'd you think that was going, huh? People magazine named Jonathan Bailey as the sexiest man alive of 2025, making him the first gay winner that we know of. On Tuesday, Kathy Griffin celebrated her 65th birthday

by wearing a red bikini on the Sherry Shepherd show. I was so traumatized, now I throw up whenever Baywatch is on. As the government shutdown drags on, the FAA is slashing flights in 40 major cities, causing Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy to raise concerns that female pilots will start driving. On Sunday, Bill Clinton attended the New York City Marathon to cheer his daughter, Chelsea. Bill supported the female runners by chasing them for the last four miles. Finally, Kim Kardashian's new legal drama, All's Fair, has been rated Zero Stars.

Also with Zero Stars, Fox and Friends First. Oh, they're laughing with you. Laughing with you. We'll be back with more Gutfeld. It's Will Tame Country. Watch it live at noon Eastern Monday through Thursday at Fox News.com or on the Fox News YouTube channel. And don't miss the show.

Listen and follow the podcast five days a week at foxnewspodcasts.com or wherever you download your favorite podcasts. Okay, so ding-dong, you feel in the rest. I will not be seeking re-election to Congress. With a grateful heart, I look forward to my final year of service as you're a proud representative.

San Francisco is the greatest city on earth with the most extraordinary people on earth and a place that I will always believe is heaven on earth. Thank you, San Francisco, for trusting me to be your voice in Congress. Well, give drunky credit. She survived it all. The upheaval of the 1980s, the Pentleton Act of the 1880s, unflattering depictions of her in the media,

and also in cave paintings in rural France. Yeah, she's old. She's been in Congress so long, office has two water fountains. She's going to retire in 2027, which raises a key question. What happens to us? What happens to this show?

What are we going to do without this? The Dems were melting down like Pelosi's face on a hot day. Nancy Pelosi was so enraged by Trump's victory. Her eyebrows moved to Canada. With Chi proposing that humans could live up to 150 years old, or perhaps even older. The border was made as tight as Nancy Pelosi's face.

It's so hot Nancy Pelosi had to put on her backup face. James Carville said Trump deserves some credit for the Gaza peace deal. That's pretty brave of him, especially with Nancy Pelosi standing behind him the entire time. So RIP, Pelosi jokes. Well, I hope you'll like jokes about Rashida Talib offering Joy Bayar mustache rides. I guess you do. True, she's been great for entertainment, but lousy for the country.

Remember when all of us were locked down? She got her hair done at a salon. I take responsibility for trusting the word of a neighborhood salon that I've been to over the years many times, and that when they said what we're able to, to accommodate people one person at a time and that we can set up that time. I trusted that.

As it turns out, it was a setup. So I take responsibility for falling for a setup. Oh, a setup. No, no, no. Leaving a cheesy gordita crunch and a bear trap outside Joy Bayard's dressing room is a setup. The only thing set up was her appointment

and for new eyebrows. And last year, she tried to spray febrize on Biden's rotting presidency. Such a consequential president of the United States, a Mount Rushmore kind of president of the United States. You've got Teddy Roosevelt up there, and he's wonderful. I don't say take him down, but you can add Biden. Look, the only reason for adding Biden to Mount Rushmore is that he's already petrified.

But it's not. Not like she was much better. Toward the end, she was beginning, becoming as unhinged as Joy Behar's jaws at a steakhouse. That's two. Why did you refuse the National Guard on January 6th? Thank you, Ben. Shut up. I did not refuse the National Guard.

The president didn't send it. Why are you coming here with Republican talking points as if you're as serious journaling? All right. But it's not a talking point when you admitted you should have called the National Guard, which was caught on tape by a camera crew following her for a documentary, possibly one about the joys of sleeping upside down. Of course, on her way out, she had to bring up Trump.

Is he just a vile creature? He's just a vile creature. The worst thing on the face of the earth, but anyway. You think he's the worst thing on the face of the earth? I do, yeah, I do. Hmm, the worst thing on the face of the earth. She's obviously never had to share an Uber with Kilmead. But don't worry, Nancy, the feeling's mutual.

I think she's an evil woman. I'm glad she's retiring. I think she did the country a great service by retiring. I think she was a tremendous liability for the country. I thought she was an evil woman who did a poor job, who cost the country a lot in damages and in reputation. I thought she was terrible. Oh, that guy's less filtered than a Mexican water fountain.

Now, we got it handed to her. Pelosi did make history, but it wasn't in politics. It was in the stock market. As a member of Congress over the past decade, she's gotten a return of 816% from her investments and beat the S&P 500 by 559 points. She's so good at picking stocks, retail investors use her like an index fund.

There's literally a Pelosi truce. tracker, where thousands of people copy every trade her husband makes. And last year, it saw gains of 54% double that of the S&P. She got so filthy rich while her city drowned in drugs, crime, and homelessness. Yeah, the greatest city on Earth, San Francisco, went from the Golden City to a 48-square-mile restroom, a city with an app that tracks human street poop. I'm surprised Nancy didn't invest in hazmat suits. So here's a question.

What happens to her stock prowess when she leaves? What if those skills were to disappear shortly after she's no longer close to information that impacts the market? Well, it would tell us something we already knew that Democrats don't get into power after they got rich, like, say, Trump. They get into power to get rich.

The rewards don't come from serving the people. They result from the illusion that they're serving the people. It was a great grift, and I got to admire it. Talk about a rich career. It's a shame it only paid off for her. Listen ad-free with a Fox News podcast plus subscription on Apple Podcasts. And Amazon Prime members can listen to this show, ad-free on the Amazon Music app.