Gutfeld! Monologues - Peacemaker In Chief

Episode Date: October 11, 2025

As seen on Guteld!, Greg gives Trump credit for all the peace breaking out around the world under his leadership. Greg says that approval from the American people is a greater accomplishment for Trump than winning the Nobel Peace Prize. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Getting ready for a game means being ready for anything, like packing a spare stick. I like to be prepared. That's why I remember 988, Canada's Suicide Crisis Hubline. It's good to know, just in case. Anyone can call or text for free confidential support from a train responder anytime. 988 Suicide Crisis Helpline is funded by the government in Canada. Yes, yes. I know. I know. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I love me, too.

It's Friday, so you know what that means. Let's welcome tonight's guest. He's the only member of the man show who still qualifies. Comedian and host of the Adam Girola show. Adam Girola! She was a cheerleader for the Oakland Raiders and has the stitches to prove it. Co-host about numbered Emily Campano. He cracks his knuckles before prostate exams.

Chief Patient Officer at the Wellness Company, Dr. Drew Pinsky. And she even got expelled from homeschooling. New York Times best-old dollar boxers get driven her cat, too. All right. Before we get to some news stories, let's do this. Yeah. Greg's Leftovers. We got some good ones.

Yeah, it's Leftovers, where I read the jokes we didn't use this week. And as always, it's my first time reading them. So if they suck, we'll slather Joe Mackey and gravy and tie him to Katie Porter's bed. So tomorrow is Bill and Hillary Clinton's 50th wedding anniversary. Bill already made plans, dinner, dancing, some passionate lovemaking, and then home to Hillary. New York AG, Letitia James, was indicted on charges of mortgage fraud. Her lawyers say she could. Oh, thank you.

Her lawyer said she could get house arrest if they can decide. side, which one? President Trump is promoting his new fight, fight, fight line of wrist watches. Not to be outdone, Joe Biden is promoting his new help, help, help, line line

line of life alerts. Go to stop there, I guess. It's day 10 of the government shutdown. Seriously, can we get some ice over there? Nancy Pelosi is starting to spoil. President Trump had his second physical of the year at Walter Reed Medical Center, and according to Trump, it was sold out. Researchers say dogs will probably never learn to speak due to their anatomical limitations.

Oh, yeah? We'll explain this. I know, it's easy. Too easy. Houston's mayor denied rumors that a serial killer is running rampant after 16 dead bodies have been founded byews this year, blaming it instead on homeless people throwing their dead friends into the water. Damn, why didn't I think of that, said one woman.

The worst fire in California history is now being blamed on an arsonist named Jonathan Rindernecht. But liberals claim his name is actually German. for climate change. Europe will soon force vegan products to stop using names that make them sound like meat. For instance, vegan sausage will now be called a carrot. In the last few years, the number of senior citizens ending up in the hospital for cocaine use has skyrocketed. You can always tell when a senior citizen is using Coke, they're driving the speed limit. Joy Behar celebrated her 83rd birthday by joking that, quote, her holes are dried up.

I know. The comment was so disgusting, her co-host could barely finish their buckets of chum. And finally, Taylor Swift's new album features a song called Wood, which is rumored to be about Travis Kelsey's genitalia. She also claims that her hit song, Shake It Off, is what she says to Travis when he sees her naked. Unnecessarily mean, my favorite. We'll be back with more Gutfeld. When you support Movember, you're not just fundraising. You're showing up for the men you love. Your dad, your brother, your partner, your friends.

It isn't just a men's issue. It's a human one. That's why Movember exists to change the face of men's health. From mental health and suicide prevention to prostate and testicular cancer research and early detection. Movember is tackling the biggest health issues facing men today. Join the movement and donate now at Movember.com. All right. So the Nobel Peace Prize was just announced and surprised Trump didn't win.

Yeah, you're shocked, right? Yeah, next you're going to tell me Katie Porter gets her lunch at the animal shelter. And yeah, the deadline for nominations was months ago. but they could have made an exception because some previous president certainly won it for doing a lot less than Trump did. Think about it. Barack Obama, he won it before he even sat down

to pee in the White House bathroom. Jimmy Carter, the only way he could get hostages back is if he traded more hostages. Woodrow Wilson, he promised to keep America out of World War I then immediately got us into World War I. Most of his second term was served by his wife

after being incapacitated by a stroke. Sound familiar, huh? Little Woodrow Wilson humor. Of course, there's Al Gore, who wasn't president, but he claimed we'd all be dead and underwater by now. When that's only true if you got a ride home from Ted Kennedy. Yeah, too soon. Meanwhile, there's Trump.

He brokered peace deals between Israel and Hamas, India, Pakistan, Serbia, Kosovo, Egypt and Ethiopia, Cambodia, Cambodia, and Thailand, Congo, and Rwanda. And even as we speak, he's trying to get Ilhan and her brother to renew their vows. Beautiful. Beautiful. And you want real peace? Even our southern borders calmer.

Under Trump, illegal crossings hit a 55-year low. That's the peace you can measure in reduced crime and drugs not killing your cousin. So even though Trump may not get the prize, he is absolutely. prize. Because when he wins, we win. That's because his own personal goals, to be great, align with Americas. We want to be great too. It would be far different if that wasn't the case when a leader's personal aims don't match the countries. What's that like? Well, you live through it. Biden's goals had nothing to do with ours, which is why Hunter never had to work. Dr. Jill ran the show and his staff worried that men might be pregnant if they missed their period. But Trump's

not that way. When he's in charge, so are you. He creates clear lines. You please him, you prosper. You cross him. You're screwed. So suddenly you get peace deals you'd never think were possible because you don't want to piss this guy off. Just ask Soleimani, the Houthi pirates, Iran, or the cartels. But save your breath because they no longer produce any. That's Trump's persuasion, a peacemaker, until you piss him off. Then you wake up with a horse in your bed or a cow in your iris pub yeah oh thank you never fails does it and yeah maybe trump would like to have the peace prize but he doesn't need it real success in life doesn't come from awards handed out by globalists and some irrelevant european state it comes from having the greatest comeback in american politics

which is why we decided to give Trump something far better than the Nobel Peace Prize. Congratulations, President Donald Trump. You're the winner of the biggest, baddest, most peaceful prize you losers have ever seen. So, Mr. P. you may not get a shining. trophy from elites, but you're getting something better. A thumbs

up from America, which is a distinctly different finger than the one we're giving those ass hats in Norway. Period. Listen ad-free with a Fox News podcast plus subscription on Apple podcasts, and Amazon Prime

members can listen to this show ad-free on the Amazon music app. It's Will Tain Country. Watch it live at noon Eastern Monday through Thursday at foxnews.com or on the Fox News YouTube channel and don't miss the show. Listen and follow the podcast five days a week at Fox Newspodcasts.com

or wherever you download your favorite podcasts.